Growing in a chinese family. My parents have so much expectation from me. I feel like a slave to them. Now that i have my own carrier, they still forcing me to work at their business on weekends. i understand they love me and gave me everything I have, i love them but also feel hate and anger. I now feel stuck with confused feelings. I dont want and will not have children because im afraid to make the same mistake they did.
Well, children are traditionally seen as old age security for the parents, there is no such thing as unconditional love, it does not exist in our culture. Everything is transactional, I feed you when you were a child, you feed me when I am old. Culturally we are brainwashed into believing that it is our responsibility to look after our parents, except nobody asked us if this is what the next generation wants. Like you, I do not want to inflict this on others, so I do not have children, live is simpler this way.
I understand how you feel, it is a feeling you have to work out eventually, you need to answer this simple question for yourself: are you put on this world to serve someone’s purpose ? For me, I know the answer when I had to tell my mother that she can do whatever she wants with her life.
Unfortunately in the Asian context, "filial piety" is often manipulated by narcissistic parents to control their children and children of such toxic environment seldom get the support from society due to it being a taboo subject, so most need to figure it out themselves.
Yes, if you have such feelings of hate and anger towards your parents, then you should not procreate in future otherwise your family will suffer. Best to live the rest of your life indulging in yourself day and night.
This is the same in some Caribbean countries. My grandmother lives with my mother but she helps herself while my mom works. We dont believe in nursing homes, but living in the United States makes it hard to uphold that part of our culture.
Chinese young couples do not want more children not because of one child policy which was abolished in 2016. The economic and social stresses in modern China discourage them to have children.
With the one child policy, a couple in their 40’s will be looking after 2 sets of parents, maybe grandparents also. There will be 1 or 2. Children to look after. They have to have jobs to take care of themselves and everybody, people are living into their 80’s and 90’s. I do not see how the ‘children’ can manage, in my opinion this is a society that is swallowing up its children.
This highlights a difference in perspective between Eastern and Western cultures. I told my parents in the UK that I planned to have them move in with me when they’re older so I could take care of them. However, they both refused, not wanting me to sacrifice my time to care for them as they age, especially in situations like managing incontinence or other age-related challenges. My wife is Chinese, and our daughter, who was born and raised in China, has a strong Chinese mindset. Although she speaks English, Mandarin is her first language, and she feels more Chinese than British. She has even expressed her desire to obtain Chinese nationality when she turns 18. Given her cultural background, it’s no surprise that she wants to care for me when I’m old. However, now that I have a child, I understand my parents' perspective. I would never want my daughter to take on the burden of caring for me as I age and become dependent. In China, one of the core reasons for having children is to ensure they will care for you in old age. To me, the idea that one of the main motivations for starting a family would be to secure a caregiver for my later years is simply unthinkable.
In Asia parents still view their children as property & pension funds, like the west 100 years ago. Western countries have functional welfare systems so the offspring can move forward with their own life while the state looks after its elderly population. Now the Asian youth can’t afford to start their own family due to the elder care burden. The state uses cultural value of filial piety to pass the burden of elder care to the young generation instead of installing proper pension system. China just raises retirement age after realising the failure of 36 years of One Child Policy, too little too late, young Chinese won’t get married, have kids, avoid commitment, or just give up, or flee abroad 😂 demographic nightmares
We are having the same issues here in Singapore. The fertility rate for China in 2023 was 1.705 births per woman. The current fertility rate for Singapore is 1.250 births per woman. So we are having it worst.
Singapore can't afford elder care actually. Funding sources are tight, there's alot of means testing and gate keeping before the government allows access to elder care funds. More over, Singapore also faces a shortage of workers. Presently NH workers are the poorest paid of healthcare workers and typically sport the poorest trained and least skilled workers, mainly because the job pays peanuts. That said, I strongly disagree with the idea of spending public funds on the elderly. I need those resources for my own family, not someone else's.
Particularly developed countries. It is not confined to China. Even Singapore is experiencing it. We have a big problem here too in Australia. More so as the state bears the responsibility of looking after the aged.
There is nothing wrong or not filial about sending your elder folks to the old folks home. Old folks home is a professional setting with professional caregiver. Elders can get better quality care at a nursing home.
@@DannyLocust-r3u, I don't think you have seen the quality of Chinese elderly homes. I was working in Shandong province, and they provide excellent old folks homes for much less than in Singapore.
@@fuqingshen The issue lies on who could afford keeping off their parents in this proffesional setting, when even hiring adequate skilled babysitter is very improbable? To be precisely, this kind of thing are affordable for the rich class only, the poorer you're would mean to possibly afford those cost-cutting elderly nursery service that often reported for mistreating them too often. And this yet taking account issues like shortage of labor within nursing home industry to cater the rising population of elderly, what's happening here is just throwing off issue from one place to another by third-party, either private or public, but still need to be handled by ever decreasing younger-aged workers.
In 1985, "It is good to have only one child, and the Government will do the old age care "; In 1995, "It is good to have only one child, and the Government will help with old age"; In 2005, "You can't rely on the government for your old age"; In 2012, "It is better to postpone retirement and take care of your own old age"; In 2015, "liberalize the birth of two children". In 2021, "the policy that a couple can have three children will be implemented".
As one of the products of one child policy implmented decades ago, I am already feeling the pain to come. I have to look after my parents but at the same time I also put great effort to make sure that there is nothing wrong with my current job. So frusatrated.
Asian people often misunderstand the role of nursing homes. Its not all about filiel piety. Can one lay person do the job of an OT, PT, GP, Nurse, pathologist, Chef, Podiatrist, hair dresser, cleaning all in the house without driving the elderly to mulitple appointments? Well a nursing home is a semi-hospital that does all that so the elderly does not need to be driven everywhere to get these services separately. Anyone who thinks they can do all that by themselves is just ignorant. I am Chinese and I have had to learn the hard way that I cannot do everything myself, nor do I have the expertise to do all of the above. I am still doing something everyday for my loved one- calling her, visiting her interstate, paying her bills, doing her tax, shopping and sending things to her. It never ends.
Sg nursing homes are no different cos we sent in my father in law and its like a prison with regimented life. Within 6mths, his condition worsen so bad and after more than a year, he passed away. Paid so much for nothing other than worries and frustrations.
The big issue will be the 40 million extra men who cant get wives, no kids, when they get old, since they are rural hukou, they dont have benefits in the city, they will have a hard time in the villages getting old. Unless the Chinese government include them in nursing homes in the cities with food, healthcare, they are screwed.
Parents have to provide for their own retirement. Government has to make sure they have access to foreign labour to keep costs low. Do not rely on the children who has to provide for their own old-age.
Filial is by doing what parents want and expects of you. N not to embarrass your family😂 especially when they constantly need to brag n compare. Well, These parents don't see you as a unique individual to pursue your own life choices and goals by providing a nurturing upbring (not manipulative)but as someone they expect you to be or fulfil their expectations. This is toxic culture and mindset. Living a life you choose is not unfilial. Toxic parenting disguises as social or cultural norm.
You are right, unfortunately in China this mind set has been going for thousands of years and most people have no viable ways of caring for themselves in their old age (remember Chinese people seems to live forever). What is happening in China is very interesting for me, I suspect it will be a culture that respect old age turning within one generation to a culture that see old people as a burden.
@virginiawai8485 Independent and able old folks are not a burden. In SG, old people are encouraged to keep active and even work, not like they need the money. Respect is earned, not entitled. There is nothing to be embarrassed or lose face.
Its the government to look after. Kids did not ask to be born. The young are jobless, full of debts, facing bankruptcy. Blame the government that has lousy policy and dont know how to plan. There are more issues other than to be slaves to old people and their problems.
@@pearlyung I'd extend that to independent age. OK to enjoy retirement while you're still able to take care of yourself! You've earned it - hopefully! 😄
One critical point people missed is the older generations came from poor families. All the money earned went to feed the family, let alone saving up for the retirement. Nowadays, the younger generations have more earning power, and their children will not have so much stress supporting the parents. Chinese people should know the Chinese government's difficulties in tackling this huge problem with a large aging population. It is not about filial piety. It is simply the duties of the children (don't disgruntle) who were given the opportunities to gain a better life to look after the parents. Hopefully, in the future, the younger generations will see this problem lessened with efficient retirement schemes.
This example is not really traditional. Traditionally, a daughter leave home when she married, it’s the wife of the son who is expected to look after the in-laws. What happens to daughters-in-laws?
@@ericliu7845 , the one child policy has resulted in millions more boys than girls, infanticide is something the Chinese would prefer not to talk about. The parents most likely have more than 1 child, the program introduced her as the older daughter.
Singapore shall worry itself instead of worrying China. China has one of the best pension system in the world. Average pension age in China is 55 years old instead of 65-68 for developed countries. There is no asset or income test to qualify for pension. Pension will be given to pensioner monthly until they die in China. Pension amount is generous as most pensioners still got extra money left after monthly expense. They do not worry like people in Singapore who rely on own cpf and worry inefficient amount cpf due to inflation or living longer than expected.
My grandpa in China just moved out of his nursing home and back into his former apartment. In the wake of my grandma's passing he could no longer afford the nursing home on a single pension. Decided to move back into his apartment (which my dad renovated) and go with a housekeeper instead.
Don't worry about loneliness ( at the center ). Once a person is old, they can't expect more , that is life. One thing you must make sure. Have them sufficiently knowledgeable or literacy high. Why ?. Once you have high literacy, knowlege will be your friends, friends & families members are all nuisance. Seeking for knowledge, wanting to know about the happening around the world, etc, will be the interest of these elderly ppl. Family members will become secondary or nuisance. So Television, others form of media that provide them with knowledge will accompany them. This will become their hobby. Getting more knowledge or be entertain by the media would be much more better. Ofcourse, having Family members turn up once a while is always good as paying tributes or showing care or loving, etc. Generally, once they're attracted to knowledege, informations, news, etc, from media they'll not feel loneliness or depriving as long as family members visiting once a while. Afterall, if you meet them now & then, how much things could you talk to them ?, the same old stories ?. The same old subjects ?. There are infinite knowledge , informations, news ( foreign or domestic), documentary, etc, etc, on media . Everydays different, exciting , mind boggling, etc. So, your presence could be overrated.
Aging is the final stage in life. If we have the Lord in our lives & good health & some money to go by, fear not. Take it one day at a time. Just enjoy the sunshine & His daily bread. He will see you through as He continues to see me through daily.
there are many reasons why parents go to nursing homes and many if you are not aware of, are due to medical reasons recommended by doctors and welfare workers!!! Do not jump into conclusion on filial piety if your elderly needs medical care you are unable to perform!
A new model of senoir care would improve the overall well being of older citizens. I believe presently is likened to be treated like being in kindergarten care
Having children for the expectation that they will take care of you when you're old is you unfair. Before they are born they are already burden with responsibility that they did not ask for. They didnt even ask to be born.
You must be young and fit at the moment. When you are old and vulnerable, you might change your mind. Chinese society has emphasis on strong family ties and bonds. A family that doesn't look after their older folks will not form a strong society / country. It is self centred and doesn't have empathy nor compassion. Not every old parent wants to burden their kids but there comes a time when you might need care because you can no longer care for yourself. Furthermore retired folks are very much hands-on in helping their children to care for the grandchildren while they work. It is only decent the kids do the same to look after their parents with maids rather than abandon them in old aged home.
It is cultural expectations. If you think it is unfair you can choose to neglect them. 🙂 Ask not to be born? Then what do you do now since you didn't ask to be born?
If you don't have kids of your own, when you get old, someone else's kids look after you. You may have money, still can not find young people to look after you.
In Denmark, it is usually those who are ages 50+ (and mostly women) who are the ones hired to care for the elderly and dementia patients. They are still able-bodied, but often discriminated against in the workforce. So the older take care of the elderly
As a black African, I am so shocked to read the comments here from many Chinese people. I used to tell my colleagues that Africans share some values with Asians such as caring for your parents.....how wrong I am. When I think about the sacrifices our parents made for us, I can't abandon my mother, never ever. She not only carried me but gave up going out with friends to look after me and my siblings. A commenter here said that there are professional carers in a home, so send 5hem home, I am aghast. Many parents did not send their babies to professional nannies on a permanent basis now did they???
It sounds like you have siblings who can share the load by helping with care or contributing money. !ugh harder for an only child, I think. I moved into my mother's home to help her. I lived nearby and work close. My siblings helped with cash when needed. It worked for us.
@@fdm2155 this is not what I sound like, I am shocked at the comments..... When I shared the video with many of my African friends particularly Zimbabwean s and zambians, they too were shocked. We seem to be copying the west, I just shudder.
A lot of comments under this video are from those who do not want to have kids, or are unhappy with their parents. They do not represent views of others, only themselves.
@@JosephSolisAlcaydeAlberici , Filipino workers have to be paid, their own children do not have to be paid, in fact they should be grateful that they can show the world that they are filial children.
Emotion. Emotion. Emotion. Elderly are not special human being. They are depreciating asset, the moment they stop walking. Children are appreciating asset. That is the reality of life
It is the ideal mechanism as long as the circle goes on. After parents scarified themselves to raise kids, regardless the number, everyone deserves a decent and cared golden years.
@@MasterLeong888 , not too fast, in the western world where elderly care has been a business for a long time, it’s actually very hard to make money out of it. Elderly care is not like childcare, they are heavier, their dependency grow with age, it’s very hard to recruit people to work in care home, there are lots of health and safety rules to comply with. There are other ways to invest your money.
This is so sad. We do for our children because that is what one does as parents. We brought them into the world and are responsible for them. Then we do for our parents in their old age if they become weak and vulnerable because we love them and care about their welfare. It's that simple.
Any adult child reading this should know that if you didn't exist, your parents would find a way to take care of themselves. End of story. My mum was very controlling of me through my teen years and I left home at 19 and never returned except for a two week visit 12 years later. I'm 51 now. We haven't seen each other in 20 years although we talk almost daily. She has her circle of friends, she has a routine and gets herself to her medical appts. She's absolutely fine. You cripple your parents and yourself by being an enabler and caretaker so don't do that.
how many old people die alone in singapore everyday? from what oi heard , some hdb units are so infested with maggots that the neighbors have to call police.
Personal opinion here from another perspective somehow, Asians could consider the establishment of VAD. Just like how parents now can plan for childbirth, I think it's fair for ourself to plan & decide when it is time to let go ...
as 50 years old, divorced by decision of my former wife (Ironically she was killed by HAMAS a year ago), and just one child who is living in scout school, I dont want to become old and plan to end my life in next 3-5 years or if I struggle to support myself
@@covenawhite4855 not. Enough for me.instead of providing easy way to out, people forced to continue suffering. That’s insane. I got exit bag manuals and components are easy to source.
What is a problem to die lonely in an own flat because there is no one around to provide medical help? People live very long now and this clutters the space for young generations. We all age significantly after 40, why live long when you are definitely not young and fully healthy?
She is a great daughter. China's government only has themselves to blame. With son's being preferred there are less daughters to carry the parent burden. The government should help her.
My parents and I moved to the US as students. There is no expectation of childeren housing and caring for the elderly. And it's especially good for us Asian Americans because we not only have high incomes but also save and invest a lot of money during our career, so we retire wealthy. My father passed away from cancer recently, but never needed nursing home or my care. My mom can afford to hire live in nanny if the day comes. I know that's not really possible in China as I can see my relatives have to use their savings just to help their children afford an apartment (which chinese girls now demand as precondition to marriages), of course this makes them rely on the only child during retirement. China really need to change the current housing, marriage, and retirement setup, it's got everything backwards.
In China quantities do matter, qualities don’t matter. Personally a kindergarten for the elderly is the last place to go when I age. Pension system needs to take a long time! It needs careful and thorough planning by a government.
If adult kids won't care for their parents, then there is NO incentive to go through the hardship of raising kids. People are better off without kids. They will have more money and freedom. If all elderly people end up in nursing home with or without kids, then its better to be without kids.
It is natural that in a loving family, you love your kids, and your kids love you. It is this love that makes you are willing to take care of each other. Raising kids brings a lot of joy to your life. It is a great life experience.
1 son at 1xyrs 2 husbands : wife at 4xyrs 4 Husband’s and wife mom&dad at6xyrs 8 grandparents at 8x yrs Total number of people 1+2+4+8=15 Total number of working people 2
Very good documentary. Govts should focus on building more retirement homes , automate them and employ unemployed youth for low wages instead of asking people to have more children as global warming is killing every species and making life hell formost of the humans due to overpopulation
The elderly in this doc is among the top 2%..rest can’t afford those facilities also there’s stigma & inspite of “high pay” young aren’t willing to be caregivers that’s y they r building robots?!😂😂😂😂 oh yes sure we believe u…Ofcourse them young people have too many employment opportunities to apply for “higher paying care giver job” yeah right blame it on them young & ho ahead with building those bots…it totally does not intend to wipe out more jobs/save govt money😂
China still has their strong family structure, homogeneous people, thousand years culture that will help support their elderly population. China is also advancing in AI , robotics, self-driving cars, and other technologies that will assist in elderly care. The U.S, OTOH has a completely dysfunctional, single parent, fatherless family structure, political division, racial division, greed, and ageism. Only rich Americans in the top 20% will have good elderly care.
@@rashminable , when you have changed diapers , feed someone who does not recognize who you are, gets more and more incapacitated day by day, you will understand the word ‘burden’.
If the dictatorial and crony political system remains status quo, there will be no hope for a better life not only for the elderly, even the younger generations. God bless the Chinese to bring about regime change.
I believe that the Chinese government will solve this problem just as they solved other challenges (such as the environmental degradation and carbon economy) : thoughtfully and in good time, with effective planning and implementation. We now have increasingly functional robots and AI and remote cameras etc etc. The solution will not be the Western way, and as the ancient traditions may not be entirely feasible any more given the demographics, it will be a combination of the two. I was a doctor in the U.K. , and I can tell you that the vast majority of care homes and nursing homes here were appalling, the carers underpaid, the homes understaffed, and the food generally awful and the places not particularly clean, and very dehumanised to the extent that all the doctors I knew would say “God forbid I end up in a place like that !” You are just parked there to wait to die. And they are almost all run for profit today, which is why they are even worse than they need to be. This CANNOT be the Chinese way.
Chinese 🇨🇳 property sector, which accounts for 30% of GDP, is crashing. - Exports and imports, accounting for 37% GDP, are down. - Foreign investment (FDI) is falling over 90%, lowest in 3 decades. - Foreign visitors are down 96% compared to the pre-pandemic level in 2019. - Consumer prices are experiencing deflation. - Youth unemployment hits over 21%, a record. - *Its fast-shrinking workforce is 10 years older than neighboring countries.* *Still, China keeps reporting outrageous GDP numbers.* Lol Where does the growth come from?
the prior generation birthed too many people ..now that the world is trying to correct the overpopulation the elderly will suffer unless people choose overpopulation again
Quite sad to see this chinese woman Xia hui forgoing her life just to take care of her parents which I felt obviously treating her as a slave. But she seems happy to do it.
The future of the world, But unlike South Korea and Japan, which were late in accepting immigrants. China has the opportunity to accept immigrants from Pakistan.As a worker caring for the elderly
Why are you reporting such embarrassing news about China? It’s a slap in the face…. Singaporean ccp supporters can’t take it. Pls bring back Kishore to your show to explain in great detail how China is destined to beat US economy by building 100 mil more empty buildings
China has a population of 1.4 billion, and the average life expectancy is only 5 years lower than that of Singapore. In developed areas of China, the average life expectancy is 2 years higher than that of Singapore. How dare you mock China’s elderly care?
@@AbuSayyaf963 , long life expectancy is not a blessing, it is a curse. There is not much point in waiting to die, this is the reality for a lot of old people. They are just breathing and having a pulse, waiting to die.
Take care of parents and love one always good, no matter what circumstances. Unlike the West, people throw their parents at nursings for abused. They visit only the wills passed. Is it devil or human.
Seeing a lot of one child older women with no kids getting sick here in Chongqing. Often their parents dead, and they are unmarried with no kids. RIP. Nobody there to help them.
I didn't have a child to care for me as an elderly person. Why would anyone want to do such a thing? Many parents in the UK, where I come from, do not want their kids to care for them as they get old and begin losing their minds etc. As a parent, I would not want to put that burden on my child. Like I said, I didn't have a child just to care for me as I get older. Then again, if you are raised in a low trust society that lacks a developed welfare system, you grow up with a different mindset. Survival is always on your mind.
@@garywoodgrw I agree, but I understood Asian culture when they mostly lived in poverty. The rich do not care. The sad new fashion is that Asian women are looking for Western husbands for convenience. Most are poor and uneducated. Another problem is when parents separate.
@@popcorn6931Not everyone, anyone said this words is no brain. Of course always not everyone in everything. eg not all westerners hate China. It is commond sense.
With the one child policy, a couple in their 40’s will be looking after 2 sets of parents, maybe grandparents also. There will be 1 or 2 Children to look after. They have to have jobs in order to take care of themselves and everybody, people are living into their 80’s and 90’s. I do not see how the ‘children’ can manage, in my opinion this is a society that is swallowing up its children.
They had to have one child policy because the country was ravaged by foreign invasion, revolution, world war then finally civil war. At the end of it, they were dirt poor and also prevented from joining WTO. If they didn't have that policy, they would have more starving people. I think they should have ended the one child policy earlier. In any case, some rural folks have more than 1 child, they just didn't register all of them. Many ethnic minorities also have > 1 child.
@@s._3560 your comment contradicts yourself. When a country is ravaged by war, revolution etc the population falls, there is not need for population control.
Growing in a chinese family. My parents have so much expectation from me. I feel like a slave to them. Now that i have my own carrier, they still forcing me to work at their business on weekends. i understand they love me and gave me everything I have, i love them but also feel hate and anger. I now feel stuck with confused feelings. I dont want and will not have children because im afraid to make the same mistake they did.
Well, children are traditionally seen as old age security for the parents, there is no such thing as unconditional love, it does not exist in our culture. Everything is transactional, I feed you when you were a child, you feed me when I am old.
Culturally we are brainwashed into believing that it is our responsibility to look after our parents, except nobody asked us if this is what the next generation wants. Like you, I do not want to inflict this on others, so I do not have children, live is simpler this way.
I understand how you feel, it is a feeling you have to work out eventually, you need to answer this simple question for yourself: are you put on this world to serve someone’s purpose ?
For me, I know the answer when I had to tell my mother that she can do whatever she wants with her life.
@@sw3etdevil old people's modus operandi. Love kids? It's all a scam by old people
Unfortunately in the Asian context, "filial piety" is often manipulated by narcissistic parents to control their children and children of such toxic environment seldom get the support from society due to it being a taboo subject, so most need to figure it out themselves.
Yes, if you have such feelings of hate and anger towards your parents, then you should not procreate in future otherwise your family will suffer. Best to live the rest of your life indulging in yourself day and night.
This is the same in some Caribbean countries. My grandmother lives with my mother but she helps herself while my mom works. We dont believe in nursing homes, but living in the United States makes it hard to uphold that part of our culture.
Chinese young couples do not want more children not because of one child policy which was abolished in 2016. The economic and social stresses in modern China discourage them to have children.
With the one child policy, a couple in their 40’s will be looking after 2 sets of parents, maybe grandparents also. There will be 1 or 2. Children to look after. They have to have jobs to take care of themselves and everybody, people are living into their 80’s and 90’s.
I do not see how the ‘children’ can manage, in my opinion this is a society that is swallowing up its children.
The children can’t afford to have their own children. 😂 One Child Policy generation choosing Dual Income No Kids. Thanks
This highlights a difference in perspective between Eastern and Western cultures. I told my parents in the UK that I planned to have them move in with me when they’re older so I could take care of them. However, they both refused, not wanting me to sacrifice my time to care for them as they age, especially in situations like managing incontinence or other age-related challenges. My wife is Chinese, and our daughter, who was born and raised in China, has a strong Chinese mindset. Although she speaks English, Mandarin is her first language, and she feels more Chinese than British. She has even expressed her desire to obtain Chinese nationality when she turns 18. Given her cultural background, it’s no surprise that she wants to care for me when I’m old. However, now that I have a child, I understand my parents' perspective. I would never want my daughter to take on the burden of caring for me as I age and become dependent. In China, one of the core reasons for having children is to ensure they will care for you in old age. To me, the idea that one of the main motivations for starting a family would be to secure a caregiver for my later years is simply unthinkable.
In China, previous the institutional aged care was nearly non-existent. It is gradually developing the sector.
Gary great comment, insightful
那是因为在你的国家有足够的养老保障，尤其是社会养老保障。可中国呢？在广大农村地区不靠子女，又能靠谁呢。这个与文化无关，这个是社会现实与机制
In Asia parents still view their children as property & pension funds, like the west 100 years ago. Western countries have functional welfare systems so the offspring can move forward with their own life while the state looks after its elderly population. Now the Asian youth can’t afford to start their own family due to the elder care burden. The state uses cultural value of filial piety to pass the burden of elder care to the young generation instead of installing proper pension system. China just raises retirement age after realising the failure of 36 years of One Child Policy, too little too late, young Chinese won’t get married, have kids, avoid commitment, or just give up, or flee abroad 😂 demographic nightmares
@@tiendang7531 After teaching geography for several years and analysing the demographic issues in China, I admit that it does concern me.
We are having the same issues here in Singapore. The fertility rate for China in 2023 was 1.705 births per woman. The current fertility rate for Singapore is 1.250 births per woman. So we are having it worst.
Yall can afford elder care though. Super rich in singapore.
Yes and with increasingly fewer jobs for Singaporeans! Lack of space with new smaller HDB flats.
Singapore can't afford elder care actually. Funding sources are tight, there's alot of means testing and gate keeping before the government allows access to elder care funds. More over, Singapore also faces a shortage of workers.
Presently NH workers are the poorest paid of healthcare workers and typically sport the poorest trained and least skilled workers, mainly because the job pays peanuts.
That said, I strongly disagree with the idea of spending public funds on the elderly. I need those resources for my own family, not someone else's.
This will be the fate of majority of countries all over the world
Yeah. not only in china though. The decline of traditional female role & rise of independent women = no "family" anymore.
Particularly developed countries. It is not confined to China. Even Singapore is experiencing it. We have a big problem here too in Australia. More so as the state bears the responsibility of looking after the aged.
China surpass all other countries with their 1 child policy… and female abortions
Don't worry, we'll have robots by then.
There is nothing wrong or not filial about sending your elder folks to the old folks home. Old folks home is a professional setting with professional caregiver. Elders can get better quality care at a nursing home.
Doubt the standards are very high in China. Bad enough in western countries. But China, 😂
@@DannyLocust-r3u, I don't think you have seen the quality of Chinese elderly homes. I was working in Shandong province, and they provide excellent old folks homes for much less than in Singapore.
@@fuqingshen The issue lies on who could afford keeping off their parents in this proffesional setting, when even hiring adequate skilled babysitter is very improbable? To be precisely, this kind of thing are affordable for the rich class only, the poorer you're would mean to possibly afford those cost-cutting elderly nursery service that often reported for mistreating them too often. And this yet taking account issues like shortage of labor within nursing home industry to cater the rising population of elderly, what's happening here is just throwing off issue from one place to another by third-party, either private or public, but still need to be handled by ever decreasing younger-aged workers.
Home care might make sense if someone is at home. What happens if all other adults are working full time?
U can send then......
In 1985, "It is good to have only one child, and the Government will do the old age care ";
In 1995, "It is good to have only one child, and the Government will help with old age";
In 2005, "You can't rely on the government for your old age";
In 2012, "It is better to postpone retirement and take care of your own old age";
In 2015, "liberalize the birth of two children".
In 2021, "the policy that a couple can have three children will be implemented".
Assholes eh
As one of the products of one child policy implmented decades ago, I am already feeling the pain to come. I have to look after my parents but at the same time I also put great effort to make sure that there is nothing wrong with my current job. So frusatrated.
Have faith in our government. Its only goal is to care for us. May it live 10,000 years!
I though Chinese citizen has pension after retirement. About RMB8k a month.
Asian people often misunderstand the role of nursing homes. Its not all about filiel piety. Can one lay person do the job of an OT, PT, GP, Nurse, pathologist, Chef, Podiatrist, hair dresser, cleaning all in the house without driving the elderly to mulitple appointments? Well a nursing home is a semi-hospital that does all that so the elderly does not need to be driven everywhere to get these services separately. Anyone who thinks they can do all that by themselves is just ignorant. I am Chinese and I have had to learn the hard way that I cannot do everything myself, nor do I have the expertise to do all of the above. I am still doing something everyday for my loved one- calling her, visiting her interstate, paying her bills, doing her tax, shopping and sending things to her. It never ends.
The Chinese understand it very well. They have looked after their elderly at home for time immemorial.
In the future, the single elderly should go to nursing homes with their single friends so they will have friends inside the nursing homes.
Easier said than done.
@tomaccino True.
Sg nursing homes are no different cos we sent in my father in law and its like a prison with regimented life. Within 6mths, his condition worsen so bad and after more than a year, he passed away. Paid so much for nothing other than worries and frustrations.
Not all nursing homes are equally bad.
@@covenawhite4855 i did not say that but I experienced one. That is good enough
The big issue will be the 40 million extra men who cant get wives, no kids, when they get old, since they are rural hukou, they dont have benefits in the city, they will have a hard time in the villages getting old. Unless the Chinese government include them in nursing homes in the cities with food, healthcare, they are screwed.
Sacrificing your prime years for someone in the sunset years is not fair to the young. We are only allotted so many good years in life.
IN TAIWAN :80% elderly people are taken care by Indonesian women nurses.
@@nokiasaja Taiwan have money.
Parents have to provide for their own retirement. Government has to make sure they have access to foreign labour to keep costs low. Do not rely on the children who has to provide for their own old-age.
Filial is by doing what parents want and expects of you. N not to embarrass your family😂 especially when they constantly need to brag n compare. Well, These parents don't see you as a unique individual to pursue your own life choices and goals by providing a nurturing upbring (not manipulative)but as someone they expect you to be or fulfil their expectations. This is toxic culture and mindset. Living a life you choose is not unfilial. Toxic parenting disguises as social or cultural norm.
You are right, unfortunately in China this mind set has been going for thousands of years and most people have no viable ways of caring for themselves in their old age (remember Chinese people seems to live forever).
What is happening in China is very interesting for me, I suspect it will be a culture that respect old age turning within one generation to a culture that see old people as a burden.
@virginiawai8485 Independent and able old folks are not a burden. In SG, old people are encouraged to keep active and even work, not like they need the money. Respect is earned, not entitled. There is nothing to be embarrassed or lose face.
Its the government to look after. Kids did not ask to be born. The young are jobless, full of debts, facing bankruptcy. Blame the government that has lousy policy and dont know how to plan. There are more issues other than to be slaves to old people and their problems.
Maybe you should be in government since you sound like you would have planned better and not caused this problem.
Let's hope that you won't need a young person to be a slave to you in your old age
@@jennpul1015 Not living past useful age lol 😆
@@pearlyung I'd extend that to independent age. OK to enjoy retirement while you're still able to take care of yourself! You've earned it - hopefully! 😄
Wow 😳
One critical point people missed is the older generations came from poor families. All the money earned went to feed the family, let alone saving up for the retirement. Nowadays, the younger generations have more earning power, and their children will not have so much stress supporting the parents. Chinese people should know the Chinese government's difficulties in tackling this huge problem with a large aging population. It is not about filial piety. It is simply the duties of the children (don't disgruntle) who were given the opportunities to gain a better life to look after the parents. Hopefully, in the future, the younger generations will see this problem lessened with efficient retirement schemes.
1 man could support a whole family back then. If that was still the case today then this wouldnt be an issue. Now instead people are jobless...
This example is not really traditional. Traditionally, a daughter leave home when she married, it’s the wife of the son who is expected to look after the in-laws. What happens to daughters-in-laws?
I mean is there a son? They clearly stated that this is a one child policy family structure
@@ericliu7845 , the one child policy has resulted in millions more boys than girls, infanticide is something the Chinese would prefer not to talk about. The parents most likely have more than 1 child, the program introduced her as the older daughter.
Government to look after. Young people did not ask to be born.
True! It’s the daughter-in-law who looks after the husband’s parents, rarely the daughter.
I'm sure you're also aware of the marriage marts and the male to female ratio and unmarried men. So there ARE no DILs
Singapore shall worry itself instead of worrying China. China has one of the best pension system in the world. Average pension age in China is 55 years old instead of 65-68 for developed countries. There is no asset or income test to qualify for pension.
Pension will be given to pensioner monthly until they die in China. Pension amount is generous as most pensioners still got extra money left after monthly expense. They do not worry like people in Singapore who rely on own cpf and worry inefficient amount cpf due to inflation or living longer than expected.
My grandpa in China just moved out of his nursing home and back into his former apartment. In the wake of my grandma's passing he could no longer afford the nursing home on a single pension. Decided to move back into his apartment (which my dad renovated) and go with a housekeeper instead.
Don't worry about loneliness ( at the center ). Once a person is old, they can't expect more , that is life.
One thing you must make sure. Have them sufficiently knowledgeable or literacy high. Why ?. Once you have high literacy, knowlege will be your friends, friends & families members are all nuisance.
Seeking for knowledge, wanting to know about the happening around the world, etc, will be the interest of these elderly ppl. Family members will become secondary or nuisance. So Television, others form of media that provide them with knowledge will accompany them. This will become their hobby. Getting more knowledge or be entertain by the media would be much more better. Ofcourse, having Family members turn up once a while is always good as paying tributes or showing care or loving, etc. Generally, once they're attracted to knowledege, informations, news, etc, from media they'll not feel loneliness or depriving as long as family members visiting once a while. Afterall, if you meet them now & then, how much things could you talk to them ?, the same old stories ?. The same old subjects ?.
There are infinite knowledge , informations, news ( foreign or domestic), documentary, etc, etc, on media . Everydays different, exciting , mind boggling, etc.
So, your presence could be overrated.
as a person with older parents...nothing is more interesting than criticizing your child
Aging is the final stage in life. If we have the Lord in our lives & good health & some money to go by, fear not. Take it one day at a time. Just enjoy the sunshine & His daily bread. He will see you through as He continues to see me through daily.
Everyone looks so happy and full of energy even at this age.
Can build all kinds of care facilities but where are the workers?
Not sure I understand why some of these affluent ppl just don’t hire someone…
there are many reasons why parents go to nursing homes and many if you are not aware of, are due to medical reasons recommended by doctors and welfare workers!!! Do not jump into conclusion on filial piety if your elderly needs medical care you are unable to perform!
A new model of senoir care would improve the overall well being of older citizens. I believe presently is likened to be treated like being in kindergarten care
Having children for the expectation that they will take care of you when you're old is you unfair.
Before they are born they are already burden with responsibility that they did not ask for. They didnt even ask to be born.
That is life. A family looks after one another. We are not flowers.
You must be young and fit at the moment. When you are old and vulnerable, you might change your mind. Chinese society has emphasis on strong family ties and bonds. A family that doesn't look after their older folks will not form a strong society / country. It is self centred and doesn't have empathy nor compassion. Not every old parent wants to burden their kids but there comes a time when you might need care because you can no longer care for yourself. Furthermore retired folks are very much hands-on in helping their children to care for the grandchildren while they work. It is only decent the kids do the same to look after their parents with maids rather than abandon them in old aged home.
Because they took care of their parents without complaints, so thry expect you to be able to do the same. Who will take care of you when you are old?
It is cultural expectations. If you think it is unfair you can choose to neglect them. 🙂 Ask not to be born? Then what do you do now since you didn't ask to be born?
If you don't have kids of your own, when you get old, someone else's kids look after you. You may have money, still can not find young people to look after you.
China also has an issue of younger people leaving to live abroad.
老年人若真的愛子女, 就應該知道時代已經改變了, 現在沒有以前那種由家庭成員一起協助照顧的條件了. 一味抗拒到養老院( nursing home)只是拖垮年輕一代. 讓他們的人生跟自己一起葬送而已.
A feature on the Singapore nursing homes will be good too.
In Denmark, it is usually those who are ages 50+ (and mostly women) who are the ones hired to care for the elderly and dementia patients. They are still able-bodied, but often discriminated against in the workforce. So the older take care of the elderly
As a black African, I am so shocked to read the comments here from many Chinese people. I used to tell my colleagues that Africans share some values with Asians such as caring for your parents.....how wrong I am.
When I think about the sacrifices our parents made for us, I can't abandon my mother, never ever. She not only carried me but gave up going out with friends to look after me and my siblings. A commenter here said that there are professional carers in a home, so send 5hem home, I am aghast. Many parents did not send their babies to professional nannies on a permanent basis now did they???
It sounds like you have siblings who can share the load by helping with care or contributing money. !ugh harder for an only child, I think. I moved into my mother's home to help her. I lived nearby and work close. My siblings helped with cash when needed. It worked for us.
@@fdm2155 this is not what I sound like, I am shocked at the comments..... When I shared the video with many of my African friends particularly Zimbabwean s and zambians, they too were shocked. We seem to be copying the west, I just shudder.
A lot of comments under this video are from those who do not want to have kids, or are unhappy with their parents. They do not represent views of others, only themselves.
government should build retirement house inside public apartment complex, where their families live, so they can interact with their families daily.
China should recruit Filipinos to work as caregivers to their elderly.
@@JosephSolisAlcaydeAlberici , Filipino workers have to be paid, their own children do not have to be paid, in fact they should be grateful that they can show the world that they are filial children.
Philippines can't provide employees to their own people and Filipinos love to be maids to the world.
lol maybe thats why China is slowly claming the Philippines
Why does the narrator say that caring for the elderly is a burden?
because it is a financial burden.
Emotion. Emotion. Emotion. Elderly are not special human being. They are depreciating asset, the moment they stop walking. Children are appreciating asset. That is the reality of life
It is the ideal mechanism as long as the circle goes on. After parents scarified themselves to raise kids, regardless the number, everyone deserves a decent and cared golden years.
watch this video my conviction on ping an insurance rises, going forward think elderly care very important cheers
@@MasterLeong888 , not too fast, in the western world where elderly care has been a business for a long time, it’s actually very hard to make money out of it. Elderly care is not like childcare, they are heavier, their dependency grow with age, it’s very hard to recruit people to work in care home, there are lots of health and safety rules to comply with. There are other ways to invest your money.
This is so sad. We do for our children because that is what one does as parents. We brought them into the world and are responsible for them. Then we do for our parents in their old age if they become weak and vulnerable because we love them and care about their welfare. It's that simple.
Any adult child reading this should know that if you didn't exist, your parents would find a way to take care of themselves. End of story. My mum was very controlling of me through my teen years and I left home at 19 and never returned except for a two week visit 12 years later. I'm 51 now. We haven't seen each other in 20 years although we talk almost daily. She has her circle of friends, she has a routine and gets herself to her medical appts. She's absolutely fine. You cripple your parents and yourself by being an enabler and caretaker so don't do that.
Many elderly Chinese migrate to America to live...
how many old people die alone in singapore everyday? from what oi heard , some hdb units are so infested with maggots that the neighbors have to call police.
Old people..."kids" with attitude
Personal opinion here from another perspective somehow, Asians could consider the establishment of VAD. Just like how parents now can plan for childbirth, I think it's fair for ourself to plan & decide when it is time to let go ...
This is happening all over the world.
as 50 years old, divorced by decision of my former wife (Ironically she was killed by HAMAS a year ago), and just one child who is living in scout school, I dont want to become old and plan to end my life in next 3-5 years or if I struggle to support myself
Have you considered therapy? Your life is valuable despite your failing body.
@@covenawhite4855 not. Enough for me.instead of providing easy way to out, people forced to continue suffering. That’s insane. I got exit bag manuals and components are easy to source.
What is a problem to die lonely in an own flat because there is no one around to provide medical help? People live very long now and this clutters the space for young generations. We all age significantly after 40, why live long when you are definitely not young and fully healthy?
It's similar situation in Thailand, probably worse.
It looks as if that lady's father is well capable of feeding his wife.
Na daughters should live with parents....even safe for daughters and secure for parents too....
Rather than trusting a stranger daughter in law.
She is a great daughter. China's government only has themselves to blame. With son's being preferred there are less daughters to carry the parent burden. The government should help her.
My parents and I moved to the US as students. There is no expectation of childeren housing and caring for the elderly. And it's especially good for us Asian Americans because we not only have high incomes but also save and invest a lot of money during our career, so we retire wealthy. My father passed away from cancer recently, but never needed nursing home or my care. My mom can afford to hire live in nanny if the day comes.
I know that's not really possible in China as I can see my relatives have to use their savings just to help their children afford an apartment (which chinese girls now demand as precondition to marriages), of course this makes them rely on the only child during retirement. China really need to change the current housing, marriage, and retirement setup, it's got everything backwards.
In China quantities do matter, qualities don’t matter. Personally a kindergarten for the elderly is the last place to go when I age. Pension system needs to take a long time! It needs careful and thorough planning by a government.
If adult kids won't care for their parents, then there is NO incentive to go through the hardship of raising kids. People are better off without kids. They will have more money and freedom. If all elderly people end up in nursing home with or without kids, then its better to be without kids.
It is natural that in a loving family, you love your kids, and your kids love you. It is this love that makes you are willing to take care of each other. Raising kids brings a lot of joy to your life. It is a great life experience.
But following your logic, society will soon collapse since nobody is having kids.
1 son at 1xyrs
2 husbands : wife at 4xyrs
4 Husband’s and wife mom&dad at6xyrs
8 grandparents at 8x yrs
Total number of people
1+2+4+8=15
Total number of working people 2
Cna is blind to singaporean issues 😢😢😢. Look at sg old people work till death
A retirement age of 50 for woman is just crazy!
Very good documentary.
Govts should focus on building more retirement homes , automate them and employ unemployed youth for low wages instead of asking people to have more children as global warming is killing every species and making life hell formost of the humans due to overpopulation
The elderly in this doc is among the top 2%..rest can’t afford those facilities also there’s stigma & inspite of “high pay” young aren’t willing to be caregivers that’s y they r building robots?!😂😂😂😂 oh yes sure we believe u…Ofcourse them young people have too many employment opportunities to apply for “higher paying care giver job” yeah right blame it on them young & ho ahead with building those bots…it totally does not intend to wipe out more jobs/save govt money😂
The kids aren't seeing any of their parents'money if they don't take care of them.
The older generation believes in "養兒防老", and the younger generation chooses "躺平和啃老"!
Can’t blame the young, they did not choose to be someone’s pension fund.
It will not surprise me the old will out live the young.
China still has their strong family structure, homogeneous people, thousand years culture that will help support their elderly population. China is also advancing in AI , robotics, self-driving cars, and other technologies that will assist in elderly care. The U.S, OTOH has a completely dysfunctional, single parent, fatherless family structure, political division, racial division, greed, and ageism. Only rich Americans in the top 20% will have good elderly care.
I was really put off my the number of times the script mentioned "burden of care"...
It is litterally what the documentary is about, did you expect a more cheery approach to a huge socioeconomic problem?
Just like society says having kids is a burden...
@@rashminable , when you have changed diapers , feed someone who does not recognize who you are, gets more and more incapacitated day by day, you will understand the word ‘burden’.
If the dictatorial and crony political system remains status quo, there will be no hope for a better life not only for the elderly, even the younger generations. God bless the Chinese to bring about regime change.
I believe that the Chinese government will solve this problem just as they solved other challenges (such as the environmental degradation and carbon economy) : thoughtfully and in good time, with effective planning and implementation. We now have increasingly functional robots and AI and remote cameras etc etc.
The solution will not be the Western way, and as the ancient traditions may not be entirely feasible any more given the demographics, it will be a combination of the two.
I was a doctor in the U.K. , and I can tell you that the vast majority of care homes and nursing homes here were appalling, the carers underpaid, the homes understaffed, and the food generally awful and the places not particularly clean, and very dehumanised to the extent that all the doctors I knew would say “God forbid I end up in a place like that !”
You are just parked there to wait to die. And they are almost all run for profit today, which is why they are even worse than they need to be.
This CANNOT be the Chinese way.
It's indisputable that the Chinese population *aged the fastest* in the world. Why?
1 child policy, female abortions
Chinese 🇨🇳 property sector, which accounts for 30% of GDP, is crashing.
- Exports and imports, accounting for 37% GDP, are down.
- Foreign investment (FDI) is falling over 90%, lowest in 3 decades.
- Foreign visitors are down 96% compared to the pre-pandemic level in 2019.
- Consumer prices are experiencing deflation.
- Youth unemployment hits over 21%, a record.
- *Its fast-shrinking workforce is 10 years older than neighboring countries.*
*Still, China keeps reporting outrageous GDP numbers.* Lol
Where does the growth come from?
However, underdeveloped countries usually have higher growth rates than developed countries.
1:33 the joys of communism, what's her incentive to work hard and save money if she can just rely on her kids!
the prior generation birthed too many people ..now that the world is trying to correct the overpopulation the elderly will suffer unless people choose overpopulation again
that is what capitalism get you . 😂
But since China is communist, this is obviously not a problem
Quite sad to see this chinese woman Xia hui forgoing her life just to take care of her parents which I felt obviously treating her as a slave. But she seems happy to do it.
The future of the world, But unlike South Korea and Japan, which were late in accepting immigrants. China has the opportunity to accept immigrants from Pakistan.As a worker caring for the elderly
Pakistanis are Muslims, no, no.😊
Why are you reporting such embarrassing news about China? It’s a slap in the face…. Singaporean ccp supporters can’t take it. Pls bring back Kishore to your show to explain in great detail how China is destined to beat US economy by building 100 mil more empty buildings
In future AI robots is gonna care for seniors
China has a population of 1.4 billion, and the average life expectancy is only 5 years lower than that of Singapore. In developed areas of China, the average life expectancy is 2 years higher than that of Singapore. How dare you mock China’s elderly care?
@@AbuSayyaf963 , long life expectancy is not a blessing, it is a curse. There is not much point in waiting to die, this is the reality for a lot of old people. They are just breathing and having a pulse, waiting to die.
Being filial is so passe
Buddha said it centuries ago, but sadly people copy Western-style.
Williams Anna Martin Brenda Young George
Take care of parents and love one always good, no matter what circumstances. Unlike the West, people throw their parents at nursings for abused. They visit only the wills passed. Is it devil or human.
Seeing a lot of one child older women with no kids getting sick here in Chongqing. Often their parents dead, and they are unmarried with no kids. RIP. Nobody there to help them.
I didn't have a child to care for me as an elderly person. Why would anyone want to do such a thing? Many parents in the UK, where I come from, do not want their kids to care for them as they get old and begin losing their minds etc. As a parent, I would not want to put that burden on my child. Like I said, I didn't have a child just to care for me as I get older. Then again, if you are raised in a low trust society that lacks a developed welfare system, you grow up with a different mindset. Survival is always on your mind.
@@garywoodgrw I agree, but I understood Asian culture when they mostly lived in poverty. The rich do not care. The sad new fashion is that Asian women are looking for Western husbands for convenience. Most are poor and uneducated. Another problem is when parents separate.
Not everyone in the west are like what you described. That statement is very discriminatory
@@popcorn6931Not everyone, anyone said this words is no brain. Of course always not everyone in everything. eg not all westerners hate China. It is commond sense.
bill gates has the solution ?
Emperor Xi has it
He is the cause
With the one child policy, a couple in their 40’s will be looking after 2 sets of parents, maybe grandparents also. There will be 1 or 2 Children to look after. They have to have jobs in order to take care of themselves and everybody, people are living into their 80’s and 90’s.
I do not see how the ‘children’ can manage, in my opinion this is a society that is swallowing up its children.
They had to have one child policy because the country was ravaged by foreign invasion, revolution, world war then finally civil war. At the end of it, they were dirt poor and also prevented from joining WTO. If they didn't have that policy, they would have more starving people. I think they should have ended the one child policy earlier. In any case, some rural folks have more than 1 child, they just didn't register all of them. Many ethnic minorities also have > 1 child.
@@s._3560 your comment contradicts yourself. When a country is ravaged by war, revolution etc the population falls, there is not need for population control.