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Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Government Behind NASA
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- Опубліковано 4 гру 2013
- Subscribe to The Onion on UA-cam: bit.ly/xzrBUA
Calling it the most scandalous cover-up of the past half century, dim-witted conspiracy theorist Daniel Burgess told reporters Thursday he believes the U.S. government has, for years, been clandestinely exercising total control over the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
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This guy changed the way I see things. Took a real 360 degree turn.
One might say it was _out of this world_
@John Cavanaugh that's the joke
@@alexbaker1569 He's like the Sicilian cretin from Last Action Hero. Except in reverse. Wait... now I confused myself
@John Cavanaugh wow you got a point (thinking face)
@John Cavanaugh That's the point.
Wait a second... you mean to say that NASA is behind the moon landing?!?
EXACTLY! NASA faked the moon landing in the one place they knew no one would think to look, in a secret sound stage mockup that was built on the moon just to FOOL the world!
agiar2000 that makes so much sense, that’s how we haven’t found the set
Pfffftt, y'all believe in the moon?
Pfff, believing in government conspiracy’s YOU THINK THERES A MOON
@@charlesbing6753 you believe in a government?
“Searched the government budget and saw a an $18 billion provision for NASA”
He does more research than actual conspiracy theorists!
Obviously, we just point out the obvious insidious plot and then have the nerds research the stuff we are saying and proving us right
Sad to see that this guy actually believes the US exists🙄
That's Wyoming, which is in the US but not the US
@@brrrrrr 🤔
@@brrrrrr Oh, so we're perpetuating the Wyoming conspiracy too?
@Oren Black wow. you really believe that propaganda. finland doesn’t exist. have you ever seen a finnish person? that’s what i thought
The US is a fabrication to make the rest of the world feel less bad about itself
It's all a load of crap. This guy is just seeing what he wants to see.
@Malicious Troll MUAHAHHHAHHAHA
Brainwashed sheeple...
Krombopolus Michael,
You Are Aware That This Is A Joke Channel For The The Air Out Of Arrogant Politicians, And The US Government, There Taking The Micky Out Of Them,!!!!!!!!!! It's Not Serious,
@@susanhughs1031 I hope they pay you enough for your LIES
@@guyincognito5663, This Channel Disappeared From The Internet In 2009, So How Can I Get Any Money From Them, If They Did Pay Me,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I Would Have Been Paid A Lot Of Money,. 💵💷💷💷💷💷💷💵💵💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💵💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💷💵💷💵💵💷💷💷,
There's no way the US government is behind something so successful
That is a sick burn that we deserve.
@@Attaxalotl nope that's a classic Libertarian textbook excuse
@@suryanshshrivastava4681 It was a joke
@@Killerbee4712 duuuude jokes are just a libertarian excuse for false snowflake propaganda, they all get easily destroyed by political commentators strawmanning unprepared students.. uhm i mean facts and logic
@@nuloom oooh you are right, my bad, you are right sir i shall go back to skool
And the craziest part of it all is the government doesn't even deny it!
The audacity 😒
Its revealed in plain sight! How could they?
I've found unclassified documents proving the existence of multiple Federal agencies. Do you see me running around yelling about conspiracies?? No, because I'm keeping it all a secret. You're not cleared to know who I work for.
The world has gone so insane lately that every old school Onion sketch feels like regular news now.
Yes!
Yeah that's what we've been saying for like 10 years now.
Even more so now. I see Ukraine set ablaze and civilians dying. However, there are straight up people in my country praising Putin on the news. Like what the actual eff has the world come too.
@@MaeV808 In my country too. But many of those are just Russian farm trolls spamming comments sections, not realising, they will be hit very hard themselves.
Where are you from?
@@juliebraden6911 😂
What this guy is saying actually makes a lot of sense
***** I mean its no stranger then the Illuminati occult symbols blatantly on the back of the 1 dollar bill , its like telling people that there is a group of old men "secretly" ruling the country ...
For once someone has to be right
Best comment.
Keep drinking the Kool-Aid.
It always does from surface level. Look deeper tho he is full of shit.
He’s not a slow-witted conspiracy theorist. He’s the smartest conspiracy theorists. He actually got something right.
Not just something, everything.
@@LaughingOrange
No, he got one key detail wrong.
(You know, the one that is the joke of this satirical video.)
Lol
You're just another tin foil hat nutjob.
...Bill Cooper. Just saying
I found out that there are these people driving around stealing the garbage in the morning. Just before I need to go to work they quickly empty my garbage and drive off. whats that about?!?!
Now we just need to figure what the U.S.A. on the logo means and we could finally crack this case.
Unfunny.
@@YellowPenis alright, now we just need the next two letters!
@@identity_undeterminedsilly goose, made me spit out my drink lmao
@@meloney sorry teehee 🤭
Man started at ignorance and dim-wittedness, but he successfully trawled through 70 years of budgets and spending, watched historical tapes to see first-hand sources of what happened, and arrived at a true conclusion.
The fact he stared from a ridiculous and idiotic place is irrelevant, man's a hero.
This comment is from the real hero.
You guys are freaking me out. This is a satire. It’s the Onion. Tell me you’re just playing along please
@@lindarinnyo6239 no, there is nothing to joke about. Everything about this is real. This is no satire.
@@lindarinnyo6239 The Onions is as real as it gets. Who else can I rely on to tell me about the latest Walmart hostage situations completely free of people that go to Walmart?
@@lindarinnyo6239 How can A THEORY SO WELL DEVELOPED JUST APPEAR OUT OF NO-WHERE. THERE MUST BE SOME GERM OF TRUTH WHICH HAS BEEN OBSCURED FROM US. Sorry for all caps but this is really real.
Impossible. There is no oxygen in space, so how would Neil Armstrong or anyone have survived?
Get this... NASA actually built them a space suit too... WITH OXYGEN!
@@Bobby.Kristensen
B.S.
Yea, this part is a bit sketchy. But in theory, they could have brought the oxygen with them from Earth. Like in bottles or something. I don't know if it's possible to catch the oxygen from the air, but with all the secret tech they have it could be made I think.
I have never died from not having oxygen before, so oxygen need must be a lie.
The oxygen that you think is on earth is not there. Think of it, have you ever seen oxygen or do you know someone who has seen it? It is all staged to keep the common people in their place while the rich people are happily swimming under water and in space in their naked butts.
i know this video is supposed to be a joke but i feel like there's someone out there who actually believes that this is an actual conspiracy
@Adrian Shephard That guy is ajoke. They make it look like a conspiracy to hide the truth. Dig deeper, think for yourselves. There is something shady going on here, i think the govment is using alien technology to secretly back nasa. There's so much they re not telling us.
Probably the Amish
It's a joke within a joke within a joke within a joke. You have to be extremely intelligent to get it. (Or extremely stupid)
There has to be at least one. This must be how some flat-earthers are born. They come across a meme with such deep irony that they think it's genuine.
I personally beleive that the nuober of human to have ever existed is so immense that there has been at least one, who mathematically speaking has beleived it.
You can mock him, but this man has a point
7 years later, the coverup continues and this brave man has vanished.
The deEp sTatE won't let this information get out!
Two two dudes looking out my back door...
@@dianheffernan3436 - That's impossible as there is only one Jeff Bridges. That's why the lyrics are doo doo doo.
That is another thing, The Vanishing. How do THEY do that? Push people off the edge of the Earth I suspect.
NASA got him. Where do you think they get their astronauts from?
I'm telling you guys, ever since I got this cat there's been poop appearing all over the house. I know it sounds crazy, but I think the cat might be connected somehow to the poop. It looks at me and I get this sense that it's hiding something. Something smelly.
Oh for crying out loud you tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy nut-- shit randomly appears on floors all the time regardless of whether or not you have pets. Don't blame the poor cat.
Or it could be you...
😁
@Eric Miret that's what got me too 🤣🤦🏾♂️😂
@@mtracy244 no emojis
The least realistic part of this video is that the conspiracy theorist was actually correct and drawing coherent conclusions from the information in front of him.
What about scientists and programmers who warned about government surveillance lol
@@lucidnode it's not a conspiracy to say that the government surveys it's citizens, that's kinda just a given today. The conspiracy part is thinking that they'd do it through 5G towers or vaccine chips or whatever in a world where nearly everyone carries around a smart phone connected to the internet at all times
@@squiddler7731 they are always just dumb conspiracies and one day they turn into "a given."
lmao.
@@albenoit4378 No, dumb conspiracies stay dumb. Man has been to the moon. Thats a given.
@@albenoit4378 The government has never had to lie about the extent of its spying on us. Republicans (who ironically pretend to be about fReEdOm) easily convinced everyone to accept the Patriot Act by using Islamophobia. It's been legal to spy on everyone in the US without probable cause since then. People just don't care, because they love knowing that more brown people will be harassed/arrested.
I love the concept of someone thinking something obvious is a conspiracy for a change.
You call him "slow-witted" and "dimwit", but what if he's right?
The infamous Nazi drugs..
His perfume is Agent Orange, of course his right, people only hate him because he of the smell
@@Number6ManUrinates agent Orange sounds like an orange juice company
Pfft. Sure. Okay.
What would be the point? There's no oil on the moon, only cheese. We can't run our cars on cheese, broski.
@@dsandoval9396 we can solve world hunger
he seems smarter than most of the Truthers I've met. I'm not even joking
He actually has legitimate evidence.
He is consistent..
He knows what he’s talking about
authorization batman
So you’re the truther?
He did seem to at least fact check it
That is nothing.I heard that doctors are behind successfully treated patients.
We're going gonna blow this whole thing wide open!
I've met a lot of conspiracy theorist trust me this guy's one of the smarter ones
Alex Jones said this in 1997
***** and where is the good Doctor now? he's dead. QED!!!1!11
@@tomatotortilla So wait, the killer was the same guy from the opening?? Mind Blown!!!
@@amsterdammancom what opening?
Dont say that, people will actually believe you.
1997 did 19 9/11s
I had started to suspect this lately, little did I know that someone had already discovered it seven years ago. I think the poor guy must have been suppressed. Thankfully the Onion is beyond the reach of Government.
Or is it?
Watergate does not bother us,but the free bird yeah,bird is the word...muh muh muh mouie wowie ,San Fran Sisco, California dreaming... With bobby magee,in the ring of fire...cuz some bodies done some bodies wrong song...wearing they're sisters pantyhose....
@@dianheffernan3436 Lay off the ludes, man. 😁
@@dianheffernan3436 What drugs are you on and can I buy some?
@@aaroncabatingan5238 and is the government behind those too
Well well well…. All these years of calling him a “dim witted conspiracy theorist”… and it turns out he was right all along… ☝️😐🚀
This guy requires actual evidence for his conspiracy, which makes him way less slow-witted than most conspiracy theorists
It's depressing that this guy has put his time to better use than I have.
It's satire
@@MyHandleIsAplaceholder So is Numminous's post. Or are you being wry?
Don't worry, I haven't put his time to good use either
This man is four parallel dimensions ahead of us.
Perpendicular ones even.
@@giusepperana6354 7 red mutually perpendicular parallel dimensions. Some green, some transparent. Also, one in the shape of a cat.
@@sudocheese **chef's kiss**
But first, this man needs to build up conspiracy theories for 12 hours
Love him or hate him but he's spitting straight facts
I must admit, as an European I first had some doubts, but when I heard this guy talking I said to myself that these are the same guys who invented Coca-Cola. Coincidence?
The one thing missing is Daniel screaming "wake up sheeple, wake up!" or something to that effect.
Lol!
Nah,Danny boy and ta bag pipes acallin
Conspiracy nuts were already using the term "sheeple" 8 years ago? damn
@@katzea.a7880even 10 years now. Wild
I wonder if USA stands for United States of America .... no no no that would be too much.
No way it actually makes sense U-nited S-tates A-merica oh MY GOD
U-nited S-t-A-tes of america? You're right.
No no Usa is a small town in southern Japan
uNited stAteS of America
NASA
I think it stands for Undumb Space Athletes. They played golf up there in the moon for cry out loud!!!
What's HE smoking ? There's no such thing as the U.S.A.
You ever watch a funny video for the first time and then go down to the comments and see that you’ve liked some already? Ya…
I love that the algorithm is bumping old Onion vids from 8-10 years ago. They've always been underrated, and never been more relevant.
I love that when random videos pop up for no reason, simple folk imagine a cunningly-designed and carefully-constructed "algorithm" is doing its magic. You give too much credit to YT because it's obscure. It's like the folks who say giraffes are proof of God because such an unusual creature couldn't evolve by accident.
Ha it’s not just me.
@@cacambo589 There's an easy way to show that you are wrong. Just look at the timestamps on the comments, and the number of likes on the most recent ones. This video is 9 years old. If it were random, the comments would be evenly distributed in time. But they aren't. And the most recent comments have 10k+ likes. UA-cam picks videos for our feeds that will capture our attention and keep us on the platform longer. That's what the algorithm is, and does.
What a nutter. Conspiracies are scientifically impossible.
What makes you say that?
the problem with that concept is that while 99% of all conspiracyconcepts come from the complete morons who are not able to breath and think at the same time, there's still that 1% where a legit goverment found a way to fuck you in the ass. and they did. and they always will. Mr Snowden and Mr Assange didn't invent the info they gave us.
imstill notusingmyname Actually, many conspiracy theorists are fairly intelligent. They just have some very odd compartmentalism going on and that can make debating with them aggravating and near impossible. Some fascinating psychology regardless.
'tis because they're interested of the kool-aid. they're thinking of serving it, not drinking it. For example most of the doctors opposing the flushots and the like have no clear understanding of virology or any similar subject. they just abuse the fact that they have a PHD, so anything they say has an air of credibility amongst the morons. it is very telling that the biggest scaremongers also want to sell something, usually a book or snakeoil-solution.
newcoyote
And none of the people in the government and corporations are compartmentalised in anyway, The term conspiracy theorist is just used to denigrate those who think independently and question the government. Like those that think dumping thousands of gallons of radioactive waste into the ocean as a result of cooling Fukishima I think those people should be in jail don't you? I think its a good thing that Japan is passing a bill saying that protest is terrorism get those pesky thought criminals!
If it wasn't for the onion I wouldn't know where to find a trustworthy news network. I hope they start giving us more updates
"Hm, yes. The floor is made out of floor."
Flat Earthers will legit use this video as a reference for their argument
I saw some flat-earthers using the onion video about how the voyager probe hit the end of the universe as a proof of the dome.
@@user-yw1hn7pt4y Flat Earthers turn "eating the onion" into "eating a 10 course meal where every dish is just an onion" and there's no changing my mind
@@user-yw1hn7pt4y 😂
"Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist". I believe that's called a tautology.
and today I learned a new word... Thanks! Appreciate it! Much gratitude to you...
I believe it is loosely called a tautology.
It's actually a pleonasm.
You mean an example of paraphrasis or circumlocution?
@@stevesloan7132 It, I say, it's a joke, son, joke, that is.
Dont even get me started with the IRS. I found out that they collect taxes for the USA to use for whatever they want.
I like that he's got a conspiracy theory about NASA but also doesn't question the moon landing.
Something so simple. How could any of us have missed this..
Do not recall this,but I hear Vinnie has a watch
@@dianheffernan3436 who's Vinnie?
Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Government Behind NASA
Subscribe to The Onion to reveal all of NASA's secrets bit.ly/xzrBUA
I never made the connection, thanks Mr. Obvious. (Bob & Tim Show credit)
Not funny at all. Onion used to be funny...only one in 30 now.
bhitt99
I bet you're a conspiracy theorist. Do you also think Paul Walker was hit by a drone?
No, I just am a critic o the onion trying to keep them on their toes so they don't get comedically lazy.
Don't give this guy the light of day! Next he'll say that the military is backed by the government and U.S. arms manufacturers to further their agendas. What a nutter.
I've checked this out, and it's legit scary how deep the rabbit hole goes.
LOL. I remember when Bugs Bunny popped out of his rabbit hole to confront Marvin the Martian.
"Slow-witted conspiracy theorist" is just redundant.
How deep does this go? What else has ignorance hidden in plain sight?
Many people are under the impression that the current US president is white, but get this: Barack Obama is an African American.
His skin colour was not due to excessive melanin production and suntanning, as held by popular opinion.
@@wetyewruyrtsutrdhjfg That's crazy, have you heard that there is also no oxygen in space?
The only way to breathe up there is to steal air from here! They are either liars or thieves!
Mind-boggling isn't it?
@@reculate3332 lmao
@@reculate3332 the elites are stealing our air!
I've saying it all my life , I'm glad people are finely starting to wake up.
Poe's law. I really can't tell whether this is genuine or not.
Finally more people are Seeing the Truth
What a huge eye opener. This made me rethink things. This is going to take some time to sink in...
I wish most conspiracy theorists ended up with answers like this
I'm usually not into conspiracies but this one's worth investigating
WiccA ,tin soldier,
I can't tell if this is a joke at conspiracy theorists, or how little the government invests in nasa nowadays... 😂
Why not both?
@@AirLancer why not zoidberg?
If it was the latter then it would be about how the government isn't behind NASA.
@@chupacabra9357 Well no, that would make the conspiracy believable (Gov has so little to do with NASA that it is believable someone wouldn't know that the gov funds it)
The answer is Yes.
The sad part is I didn't think this was satire until the Onion logo came up.
I never would have known. Thanks so much.
I’m actually very impressed. I wish more conspiracy folk were like him.
I mean, this is just nonsense. Three letters, right. Like it proves anything...
Mind. Blown.
those sneaky line item thingies. Gotta start reading the budget....
Ooooooohh, NASA, not NSA.
Clever, Onion, clever...
I heard somewhere that the Walton family is behind Walmart. If you look closely you'll notice that the first three letters of Walton and Wal-mart are the same. Coincidence???
Sawnee bean klan
I decided to do my own research and found that not only nasa but the usps and even the us military are owned by the us government you may call me crazy now but think for a second and let it sink in.
wait a second, "us military" is actually "U.S. MILITARY" o em gee, it's not "us", it's "u.s.", call the cops
That’s crazy
I like how he says no false information
And here I thought that the USA stood for Union of Space Astronauts. It stands for United States of America!! What an eye-opener!!
What's that about a union? Don't tell me the communists have made it into space, now!
I swear these conspiracy theories have gotten out of hand. I mean come on this is ridiculous!
Just, wow! My mind is totally blown.
My friend does surveys in a mall and he once had to ask a girl for her phone number during a survey and she didn't want to give it because she was worried he'd give it to the NSA.
*facepalm*
was it the NSA or NASA? She actually may have gotten a date with an astronaut if it was the latter
@@allensacharov5424 with buzz Aldrin?
Good point! NASA is clearly related to the NSA. The plot thickens (or should that be sickens?)
the most rational conspiracy theorist xD
i thought the onion was supposed to be satire - this is obviously true
Government cannot hide anything from this intelligent man.
"Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist"
So... a conspiracy theorist.
TheLoremasterNojah God is watching
Vre83 What a creep.
@catwithoutthe hat Are you seriously getting offended at conspiracy theorist jokes? You realize how much of an idiot you are if you knowingly call your beliefs conspiracy theories lol
@catwithoutthe hat Nice false dichotomy fallacy.
@@celestialmonkey not much of one, given how many are turning out to be true?
The CIA coined the term 'conspiracy theory' as a derogatory way to lump people who had discovered their malpractices in with paranoid schizophrenics. The correct term for the latter is "delusion".
Did NASA ever approach that cute girl at the laundromat or did it end like the girl at Border's Bookstore Disaster?
this is so good thank youj
Wait till he finds out about the DMV.
But in all fareness,the 50's or something had sleep experiments,kinda a lost in space thg,
Since the 1960's all Hollywood films have actually been filmed on the moon!!!
Ta three stooges landed their,too
Next you'll be telling me the airforce are part of the millitary
Well...
Now,now,there so that makes Elton John, big brother?
HOW COULD THE AIR FORCE BE APART OF THE MILITARY???? YOU ARE SO DUMB IF YOU BELIEVE THIS. THE MILITARY IS ON THE GROUND, THE AIR FORCE IS IN THE AIR!!!!! YOU ARE SO STUPID IF YOU WOULD EVEN CONSIDER BELIEIVNG THIS, SHEEPLE ARE SO DUMB THESE DAYS SMH!!!!!!!!!
If you spell NASA backwards it's ASAN, which is NASA backwards!
U.S.A. means Unidentified Space Agency, that guy is full of it
NSA is NASA - without the "A"
*****
Do you even know what autistic means?
Amy Bellows I'm awtistic!! I dwaw all the time!
Yeah. I still don't buy it.
Oh my god how did I not know!? This whole time it was so obvious! Thank you The Onion for enlightening me!!
I swear to god the onion has some of the most underrated actors I’ve ever seen
Love that smug smile in the end.
Open your eyes sheeple!
Best humor I have seen in 1:28 minutes. Great parody. Love it!
Bring us more, please.
He's not slow witted, he's so methodological he's actually right
These are the onion videos we need more of.
I'm just still wondering how we're supposed to tell this guy is 'slow-witted' when all conspiracy theorists are anyway...
Right... because that snowden guy was a total nutter.
ParanoidPixel Snowden was not a conspiracy theorist lol. It stops being a conspiracy when solid evidence is presented.
Damious100 It stops being a Conspiracy THEORY* slight detail but It matters.
Damious100 My point was that he proved a growing number of people correct.
ParanoidPixel Snowden was not a conspiracy *theorist*. Conspiracy *theorists* are dipshits who think the moon landing was faked or 9/11 was an inside job or JFK was killed by Marilyn Monroe acting alone with assistance from the KGB and the churro-industrial complex.
Snowden had access to actual information. He didn't pull shit out of his ass and throw it at a wall to see what stuck, like Glenn Beck or Alex Jones do.
Also, "My point was that he proved a growing number of people correct."
It isn't really difficult to jump on the bandwagon after the actual real work has already been done and pretend you've been right all along. The idiots who were shouting conspiracy before Snowden leaked files didn't have jack shit to show for all their shouting. There's people shouting 'Conspiracy!' about _EVERYTHING_, some of them are bound to be right accidentally.
I'm stealing this as filler for a newspaper prop replica. The title legitimately suits the style
It makes so much sense it must be crazy.
This channel. I'm losing it. I can't stop laughing at the littlest things now.
It's sad when satirical news is more accurate than supposed legitimate news 😞
When a conspiracy theorist is so unbelievably dumb that he switches to being smart again. Kind of like how a movie is so bad it switches to being good again.
"Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes."
I feel like this was a lot funnier before Q Anon
It is funnier, but now it is also dark humor.
It's almost like the IOC is behind the Olympics
Crazy truth! Now it is out!!
Unbelievable 😯