Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2010
- Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.
- Комедії
His personal fortune was estimated to be in the tens of dollars.
I felt like I read that wrong.
They said in the video he had over 4000 dollars. So, thousands of dollars, actually.
@@medexamtoolsdotcom tens of hundreds of dollars
@@toquelau5715 hundreds of tens of dollars
@@dunkaccino6606 the semantics being argued here is pretty funny :)
so this is that breaking bad show everyone is talking about
The guy does look like a very old Jesse Pinkman.
Onion Fact: this report is what inspired Vince Gilligan to create the Walter White universe
If it was set in rural Michigan I suppose
Ahhhhh wire
Oh yes. The 3 legged racoon is the best Breaking Bad character. I heard that in Better Call Saul they were gonna show how the racoon lost it's leg.
Displaying his wealth like that is just going to encourage other people to take the wrong path in life.
Yeah, I don’t think you understand what “eating the Onion” means.
@@Blooper_doop 'tis a joke.
@@Blooper_doop dumb redditor
Well, to be fair, he _did_ have a three-legged raccoon. I mean, that does show he had a discriminating taste as far as rare show pieces are concerned. Someone with the capacity to appreciate the finer things of life won't be easily replaced by someone who would no sooner sell the three-legged raccoon for more meth than eat the three-legged raccoon.
I don't think we'll see another kingpin of his caliber for quite some time.
@@Blooper_doop woooooooooosh
Being a meth dealer
Expectation: Walter White
Reality: This
*You're goddamn right.*
Aaaaahh... wire
@@user-iy2og9wf4d "Copper. It's copper."
No joke. They all get high on their own supply and have no patience. Their bags are down to personal when customers come around.
Being a drug dealer period.
They say he laundered that money with a local lemonade stand
tyler therrien that's good
tyler therrien They say, clients would pay up to $10,000 per cup
Dane Anderson he only made 4k
in recent times, he'd be laundering that money with homemade facemasks
Whahahahha
A cup of coffee ?! Let me guess paid by the hard working tax payers no doubt!
I hope youre joking
Well, he recorded it ten years ago (on VHS) so technically it's 800-600.
@@antan2329 You do realize that The Onion is satire, right? And, by extension, it goes without saying that (most of) the comments are also satire?
@@GT-tj1qg Saying "I hope you're joking" to someone's comment is unlikely to be satire.
Taking an extremist stance on something silly is likely to be satire.
@@GT-tj1qg are
Are you dumb?
This would be a more effective anti-drugs ad, than anything the government could make.
🙄
@@redauerbach2753 I genuinely can't stand people that use emojis.
@@syntheticant8172 why??
@@shashankk1670 because 🤓
Me neither. I never use them!
I once saw him pull out a whole $20... no wrinkles or nutthin. It damn near made me break down in tears.
A cup of coffee?!? Why not just offer him Fort Knox too while they're at it.
I know those cops up north are to quick to spend money, here in the South we can flip people by offering them extra ketchup for their fries/
Just saying in my town the cops stop the criminals by asking them to stop
I know this is where our tax money is going
Damn a cup of coffee, I figured half a cigarette would have done it
guys stop showing off your budgets. we know there is no price to high for a big fish like this one.
The "as far south as Evart" killed me, like they show the whole Michigan and just barely extend the little red blotch
Now THAT is a nice profile picture!
@@milesbeler3974 yeah looks like an album cover. If not, it's definitely worthy of being one.
His territory was a lot of forest
Lmaoooo that part was hilarious
I lost it at that part.
Being a chronic meth user, I find story of Krogen very inspiring and amazing. What a life he had!! It looks like he had all of his 20 teeth intact, just wow!! Krogen, the role model!!
U still on meth?
Smoke it snort it plug it parachute it or bang it?
@@crazyperson6999 cat urine
Don't get high on your own supply.
It is almost metaphysically impossible to fit that much comedy in 141 seconds.
This is TheOnion's masterpiece and it shall never be topped.
Rivalled only by the Simpsons in their prime I'd say
They just stack the comedy on top of other comedies. Not very efficient organization.
It's made all the better with just "Puerto Rican flag elected governor of Puerto Rico" at the end without even the slightest crumb of context
the entirety of sex house tho
@@jknifgijdfui and porkin across amarica
They say his fortunes even allowed him to shop at Target, clad in the decadent trappings of a faded SpongeBob T-shirt, stolen flip-flops and a pair of baggy, discolored sweatpants worn backwards.
SR Brant in reality it was far greater, I saw him at the dollar tree!
@@dakotaneumann1259 bad follow up
This would allow him to blend in seamlessly with the other Target shoppers.
Looks like Mr. Krogen Upgraded to a Walmart.
It's all true! I saw him leaving, and when I asked him what high living has been like for him, he offered me a bite of his pizzahut-pretzel as a taste
Most meth dealers end up dead, very few are lucky enough to crap indoors, and I"ve only heard of one man: Pipe-Wrench Peter, who had the luxury of an actual flush toilet.
Inspector Javert How do you know Pipe-Wrench?
And let's not forget Ernest "Two-Teeth" Shoepke, the infamous Monster of Muncie.
My god and they say crime doesn't pay ? He lives like royality.
well i heard it was a badet...
Was it because in his previous life as a plumber, he actually knew how to install one?
How is it possible to roast drug dealers and the war on drugs at the same time? goddamn
It just scares me to death that such people exist in society who just take hotdog and never pay. What a world we live in folks
he said if he wanted it he just took it. He didn't say he just took it and didn't pay. Maybe he took it and then forced the money on you.
Haha what a story Mark!
"Everyone on bus thinks they are the one normal person." These guys are genius!
Sounds like a How I Met Your Mother episode.
I'm the one normal person who makes UA-cam comments.
Yeah but I am, right?
Even Krogen?
I dont
I purchased Daryl’s compound at government auction for $300. The kitchenette is lined in gold paint, at least three televisions in every room, and a few actually work. The opulence is spectacular.
I wonder how long it took, and how many gold colored gel pens he went through to paint the kitchen.
What's the Square foot on that compound? My troops need a new base.
Saddam Hussein almost 200 angstroms I heard?
Jamie Ingels when you're high on meth, time is not of the essence. He was gonna go at it till that whole kitchen sparkled like an old crappy photo of Brittany spears.
@@cart4092 That'll do citizen how much for this opulent domicile ?
I'm a busy guy so I appreciate these easily digestible news updates that I get from The Onion. It helps me stay in touch with what's going on.
Even if it’s from 10 years ago.
@@timopper5488 As I said, I'm a busy guy
@@RepresentWV
A man out of time.
@@savagesalvage9449 you’re the one out of time
How about keeping a low profile?! "He didn't go anywhere without 2 blankets" I mean c'mon, he was begging to get caught
The Onion has better production values than actual news companies.
Connor King When you make it all up in advance it’s easy to get the look down
@@DrGandW yeah so CNN has no excuse.
@b king No, no it isn't.
It was BBC who reported wtc building fell 5 min beforehand
@@Gr3nadgr3gory HAHAHA , you sharp, silver tongued devil you.
“His menagerie of feral cats and a three legged raccoon” I’m done
Racoona Matata
😂😂😂😂
I came here specifically for this comment!🤣😂🤣
This reminds me of that Johnny Bravo sketch where the thief has broken into a museum to steal the world's largest cubic zirconium, valued in the "hundreds of dollars". And it's ironically protected by a case made out of diamond.
Hide the diamond where no-one would ever think to look - protecting the zirconium, of all things. Galaxy brain move!
”Krogen nicknamed Babyface because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63”
Amazing
"If you had a hotdog, and he wanted it, he just took it!" Lmao
Actually, I think he said if you had a *piece* of hotdog he'd take it. These poor guys can't even get their hands on a whole hotdog. 😂
James Bond Police: R u ThReAteNinG Me
SAVAGE
Spain Keys a piece, not even the whole hot dog
Why would you find this thing funny? Clearly this is a serious topic that you cannot laugh about...
"Puerto Rican Flag elected Governor of Puerto Rico"
Relevant almost nine years later
That's what I thought too xD
They must rent out a time machine to the Simpsons writers too. We must find the time immediately!
What is this referring to? I don't understand how a flag can elect a governor.
@@Twigpi Púertó Rico's political situation is...complicated
@@x-fun3149 can you explain?
The Onion has the best actors. None of them are over the top and they seem like someone we’ve all met
You've met a meth dealer?
"He intimidated his rival by punching in the windows of the diner where Dibasio works as a dishwasher" I CAN NOT BREATHE HOLY FUCK
Gaunt Tony is a legendary meth mobster name.
The scrolling text 0:13 new law requires non gun-owners to carry extra ammo for everyone else lmao
West Virginia law
Sounds realistic.
@@FrancisR420 surprisingly, it's just Virginia. these days that feels like slander, though.
Succubus Chan it wouldn’t though. It would be more like, all citizens required to carry a gun.
Still one of the funniest Onion vids to date. I miss the news ticker, made you watch videos twice.
Terrorists planning vegan music festivals is a real concern today too.
@@Gr3nadgr3gory damn it I was going to do that one I had five years if only I was 2 months earlier
“If you had a piece of hotdog and Darrell wanted it, he just took it.”
Fucking savage
just noticed that its piece of hotdog and not just a hotdog LOL
@@itsmealec That is the point. Darrell probably could afford a whole hotdog, but he took a point in predating on the whole neighborhood.
“His menagerie of feral cats and a 3 legged raccoon”
"Happening now in Seattle: everyone in the bus thinking they're the only one normal person on the bus"
Like a King!
@@rarler3333 Is that a reference to the fact that the county Seattle is in is called King County?
@@chancerbox1935 No, the joke is everyone in Seattle is weird, especially people who ride the bus.
Source: (rode the bus there for a year, am a weirdo)
At 2:02
his own private xanadu, that was gold, cheers onion, your writers are world class.
Yeah well not anymore.
Breaking Bad ? More like Breaking Even for this guy
How the school principle feels after catching someone vaping in the bathroom
"While underlings walked to K-Mart to steal from dumpsters, Krogen rode on city bus like a king."
LOL, can the Onion be any more hilarious?
At 0:53
Epic!
like a king indeed
Walter: "there's one element that comes to mind" jesse: "ahhhh wire"
And they say there's no money in meth.
But there’s a bit of meth on most of the money in circulation.
I like that he had a “lieutenant”
Krogan was a freaking monster.
I heard a story from a mutual friend, that he and this other guy were walking around Krogan's territory. Krogan walked up to him and demanded money. The guy gave him 120 dollars. But Krogan only wanted 102, so he gave the guy 18 bucks back.
Good thing Krogan's locked up now, he was a ferocious monster.
1:03 Killed me😂😂 “As far south as Evart”
"While underlings walked to K-Mart to steal from dumpsters, Kroge rode on city bus like a king" shit kills me every time
1:06 I love how they have the whole state map zoomed out just so they can show us the tiny expanse of his empire. Comedy gold
One day I wish I'll have $50 in wire.
I live in Michigan and have been to Evart multiple times. This video is realistic.
Apparently the guy got out a few weeks ago and has fixed himself up. To a tree.
You should go interview him.
this is my neck of the woods.... Cadillac is full of these guys
Damn. This guy makes MY operation look small
@Codrin Fratele Petarda yep. It went down to one, but it's back to 2 due to covid related shortages
How bout 3 for some grass?
Lmfao
he would never leave his house without two blankets lmao
Two Blanket Pete was notorious for this too
lmfao more than fifty bucks worth of wire.
minus a $35 wiring fee, and a $3.95 monthly bank service charge
so that's what got this party started
Holy shit that’s a lot of territory
You can’t walk sideways without running into one of his goons.
And the size of that compound, too. There's no way anyone should be able to make that much money.
I was tempted by the lure of the three-legged raccoon, I must admit.
This is what Jesse would've become without Walter
THAT JUGDGE WAS A FOOL NOT TO BE COWED BY THE RUSTY BICYCLES
Tweakers are obsessed with bicycles, no shit
There is nothing on TV or the internet as good as The Onion. It is the best written and filmed comedy around. This was great.
I agree.
"Krogen nicknamed babyface, because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63."
I always lose it at "Bruised Man Found In Alley."
@earthwalker7 It's poking fun of the war on drugs, and how we can't seem to actually apprehend really big time scarface-esque drug dealers and all we seem to be able to apprehend are just homeless drug addicts.
It's brilliant if you ask me
i agree
Tony Montana was a bitch. He was just a bitch boy middleman
@skOsH War on drugs was and is still a failure
Don't forget that it's a supply & demand business, you take down 1 drug lord & another will quickly fill the place.
@skOsH It seems weird that, even though we can't stop these drug dealers, we somehow know how much they're selling, and have a general idea of how many people are purchasing the drugs.
Thank God that monster is behind bars
"While underlings walked to K-Mart to steal from dumpsters, Krogen rode on city bus like a King" lol
Absolutely the best one yet I've watched from onion. I just discovered this channel and I've been loving it, going through all their videos. What a gold mine I've discovered after thinking I had seen just about everything on youtube. This one has me dead omg🤣🤣
By-line at 1:45 --- "Krogen nicknamed Babyface, because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63"
hahahahaha... zing!
Walter 'heizenberg' White better watch out
Heisenberg*
Ok.....
😂😂😂😂😂
Can't stop laughing , how can the anchors manage to keep a straight face
I'm pretty damn sure the "new dating app that pairs lonely singles with wines" actually exists now...
@Stock Name
Is that sadness dot com, or sadness dot biz?
@Stock Name
Wow. That one was pretty obscure. 🤣🤣🤣
as a scrapper I find this too funny!
Scrapper?
@Swanzo
Lol
@@PrinceJes, scrapper is street talk for a meth head with an unregistered pickup truck.
Spring hill?
Scrapper is someone who takes scrap metal to recycle it for quick cash
A meth head lives beside my grandma. He once set fire to a hay field trying to burn a bag of his own feces.... he then tried to stomp it out with his bare feet. They looked like hotdogs that fall between the grill grates.
Maybe meth heads are burning down all the rain forests right now.
Great reporting as always, Onion. Another job well done.
i still remember meeting this guy years back. he offered to sell me meth and when i refused he just stole my phone and all the cash. i was scarred for a while after that
Better anti-drug ad than anything DARE puts out
I love how The Onion shows that the news can shape any story to make it seem world-changing.
I live in michigan. This was on the news everywhere.
I live in Illinois. We loaned you the stock footage!
Bro looks like jesse and walter put together
That Puerto Rico headline at the end is proof of time travel
Interesting to note that this video was published September 8, 2010.
Which, canonically, is the day after Walt dies in the show.
I don't get what's funny. Wire is a very useful element if you get stranded in the desert during a cook.
UA-cam out here recommending me 10 year old The Onion segments
damn man, this has to be one of the best onions ever, i was pissing myselg. GENIUS!!!
I just responded to a 9 year old comment. Do you still exist?
@@compactcow no
I was watching CNN and then was recommended this.
So you finally got recommended real news?
A noticeable upgrade, I would sat.
dude had socks and a inside toilet? Ill become a methdealer myself now.
"jesse, have you secured the wire, jesse?"
Lol this reminds me of Trevor from gta5 and he also kinda looks like Jesse from breaking bad
Tim Lyasek he looks like Simon from Negan from TWD
@@jacobjozef65 simon from TWD is the same actor as trevor from GTA V
"If you had a piece of hot-dog, and Daryl wanted it, he just took it." :-D
"If you had a piece of hotdog, and Darrell wanted it, he just took it." 😄
I love rewatching the video and just reading the news preview bar at the bottom of the screen
Bro think he Walter White 💀
This came out years before Breaking Bad
How’s he gonna survive when he gets out of prison?!? They left him nothing!
“Bruised man found in alley”
It took a full decade for this joke to find me and it's the funniest shit I've seen in at least a year
America's War on Drugs in a nutshell
Brony Philosopher true.
This stuff is hilarious 😂. Keep it up. We need more like this
"Say hello to my little friend!"
**shows off his three-legged raccoon**
Poor jesse parkman 😭
This ain't fake news. I've met some people like that, but not because I was a customer 😉 lol
Charon Christ HAGAHA 🤣😎 LMFAO
I know the difference between a customer and a curator, yes. I haven't lost it all yet!
Damn I know this is satire but he was worth $4000. I think I'm going to get into the meth business.
@@CowR6 except I didn't steal it. That would imply i looked through all the other comments, saw it, and then posted mine. Don't really care if you believe me but I didn't read that many comments, maybe a couple don't remember. You do know it's possible for different people to have the same idea right? So if you commented the same thing before congrats but again, didn't steal your comment.
@@tonyblake7569 Just pay for the comment with copper wire......
@@tonyblake7569 don't worry about that cow
That’s honestly more than I have in the bank right now.
@@timopper5488 Yeah but you probably have a car and other valuables to your name worth more than 4k
If Jesse never met Walter.
Lmao. I can't believe I forgot all about onion news for at least 10 years, maybe more. Just stumbled on them again and loving every video.
The Onion released this video a day after Walter died.
Just think of how much metal scrap probably went "missing" in the evidence room -- we may never know the true extent of his fortune
I love the framing on the map where it ends up so small for the shot lol
Drug dealer Expectation: Walter White meets Pablo Escobar
Reality: $50 in copper wire