Session 8 | Katie | In Therapy with Alex Howard
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- Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
- In this week’s episode of In Therapy, I catch up with Katie. We talk about challenges that can arise in our relationships when we do inner work, and how it’s important that we remember just because we are changing, others might not be. I talk about how sometimes we can be re-wounded by being too emotionally open with our hearts or spending time with toxic or difficult relationships.
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0:00 Welcome to In Therapy
0:43 Reviewing Katie's journey
1:14 Alex and Katie catch up
3:10 People do their best
4:53 Inner critic origins
10:35 Breaking down the patterns
12:52 Dysfunctional function
14:37 Trust is earned
18:30 Hurt people hurt people
21:00 Advocating for yourself
24:32 Top Tip for setting boundaries
27:24 Next week on In Therapy...
Alex Howard is a London-based Therapeutic Coach dedicated to helping break the stigma around mental health and helping people make real, positive changes in their lives. Alex is also the creator of Therapeutic Coaching and founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and Conscious Life.
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Content is produced, directed and edited by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Rachel Forbes (Instagram: @rae_forbes).
Oh Katie. I teared up when you shared what your mom told you about not allowing you to take the brunt of everything again. I hope she keeps her word. I wanted to cheer when you said how you ended the phone call with your sister. I think you do indeed know how to set boundaries. Good for you! I'm looking forward to next week's session. Thanks for the part you play too, Alex. Especially your Top Tip.
My sister is horrendous to me too!! And she’s successfully poisoned my whole family against me (including my grownup son!!). I’m no contact with all my family. What a lovely thing for Katie to have tried to do. Wishing I had a friend like her xx
Thanks for sharing 💜
Well done Katie 🌻Like the Top Tip section Alex
As a mother of 2 adult girls, i feel for Katies mother. Its a hard place to be in. We want to be able to love our children equally.
Wow! Katie, thank you for being vulnerable and discussing your fears and experience. It is so helpful to know there are others dealing with similar issues, and able to work through these thoughts step by step even though it hurts. You are brave. I honor your process.
Wonderful video Alex. Thank you Katie for being so open and vulnerable. I am so glad we can all share in this healing and growth work together. Much love.
I am only on session 2 but i am looking forward to see how Katie grows during the therapy ❤ This is so educational for an aspiring therapist and anyone who wants to go to therapy. Thank you! And well done Katie.
Just because you are related - WHATEVER the connection.. you DO NOT have to be close buddies …and you DO NOT have to be in contact . Abuse is not acceptable be that verbal or physical. Abuse and manipulation is not acceptable from or by anyone!!! I walked away from my only sister after years of patronising belittling behaviour… she’s not blocked, I just explained that being in a place of status quo for me , is a great place to be . And ALL is well .
Wow, that was really powerful! So many great tips and perspectives on tricky family dynamics.
You have so much wisdom, Alex ( Katie too!). And you are so articulate in how you express it.
Sometimes we need to get over ourselves. Accept our differences, we are distinctive and diferent individuals. Live with dignity, civility and respect. Peace be with you.
Very important topics! Thank you Alex, thank you Katie, I learned a lot from this episode.
Thanks really appreciate this video. Very timely
Katie is changing and acting from a loving place but her sister is not in the same place. Katie needs to protect herself during these times when her sister is acting like a spoiled child. ❤️🇨🇦
I' m so proud of you Katie, I have the Same dynamic with my older sister and all of my 9 siblings take me seriously or realy listen to me. Cause they've only learnt to be unpersonal.
Family family family ..dynamics can be so mysterious ...yes Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries .. Most of us Just wish we had learned this earlier ..I feel Katie overthinks everything because she is trying to do catch up ...sometime a silence and quite time almost let something else in ...away from overwhelm ...and love the dance idea ..I always feel the family is like one of those mobiles above a babies cot all the characters are dangling ..and if you knock one they all start to shake and move .
Good session.
Well Katie's sister is a narcissist. That's a whole years worth of therapy right there.
She shouldn’t trust her mother. When I was a child, the number of times my mother showed me a molecule of affection and I desperately wanted to believe that it would be better from then on. But the next day, it was back to normal.
It didn’t take too many of those times, before I never even wanted her affection because I knew it would hurt twice as much when she withdrew it, as if she had never given it in the first place.
The laugh of it was she could never understand why her 4 children were never affectionate towards her, when other people’s children were affectionate towards their parents.
Im 50 and getting upset that Alex is not talking to her about menopause.
It can get so dark. I was suicidal in perimenopause. I cried all day. Now i have no periods and im much better. Id love to know if she is done with periods? Perimenopause? Menopause?
Have you even been listening to Katie all this time? She's suffered from anxiety and depression MOST OF her life - since childhood, really. Menopause is not the main issue here - it might aggravate the symptoms for sure, but it's not root cause of her problem.
Of course, hormones can play a part at this age but they have to learn to interact in any case. Menopause is not in Alex’s purview - he instructs on what is the best response in this situation and praised Katie for her good reaction. What else do you want him to do? I think Katie knows when hormones are influencing her behaviour - she is not an idiot by any means.
18.47 Katie is in victim role
20:37 the "Im sorry" is not a genuine apology here. Listen to how its said and its followed by "but..."
20:54 yes you are right here Katie you dont know how (yet?)
Katie is still seeking self love externally via mum - this was clear earlier this session.
22:02 saying sister has verbal diarrhoea is hurtful. You want her to not hurt your feelings yet you are throwing sister under the bus.
23:01 I see a pattern of you being nice to people you are angry with. This is control via "kindness".
24:22 Katie you keep saying you want to be heard and understood. You can hear and understand yourself. This is key to your way out of the victim role
I wonder why her sister reacted like this?may be she didn’t want the zoom it’s like someone giving a supprise party some people are just overwhelmed.
Feel she is still acting as a child.
Menopause is a very transformative time.
Mmm your sister sounds unsettled by your movement. But she really may not have liked your gesture to involve her friends and that you moved too quickly for her. Sounds like you both need to build up trusting each other. Your sister obviously feels you are a strong person to take these diatribes.
2 sisters going through menopause. Oye.