Session 10 | Katie | In Therapy with Alex Howard
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- This week, Katie and I discuss the idea of the idealised self, the collapsed self and the authentic self - three identities that live inside us and constantly fight for our attention. Recently, Katie's drive to become her idealised self has opened the door to criticism from her inner critic, triggering her collapsed self. In this session, I guide Katie to become aware of this and embrace her authentic self.
0:00 Welcome to In Therapy
0:48 Reviewing Katie's journey
1:15 Back to old patterns
3:55 My stuff, their stuff, or our stuff?
5:42 The vicious inner critic
7:40 Idealised, collapsed, and authentic selves
10:30 Who is the real Katie?
13:15 Your true beauty
15:33 The pressure of projection
16:19 Shut down on seeing something fundamental
17:40 Building awareness on the projection dynamic
18:33 When you feel like quitting...
19:42 The pressure of time and regrets
21:33 Alex's Top Tip: Live more from the authentic self
22:52 Next time on In Therapy...
Alex Howard is a London-based Therapeutic Coach dedicated to helping break the stigma around mental health and helping people make real, positive changes in their lives. Alex is also the creator of Therapeutic Coaching and founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and Conscious Life.
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Website: www.alexhoward.com
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Content is produced, directed and edited by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Rachel Forbes (Instagram: @rae_forbes).
I love watching Katie's episodes as I can relate to her so much. At 55 and currently doing some really deep work with EMDR I said to my therapist that I want the rest of my life to be the best of my life. This too can be the same for you. The camera loves you Katie and you look beautiful inside and out. Please be kind to yourself and tell that inner critic to do one! Xx
I’ve done 30 + years of different modes of therapy.
At 59 I am in peace. Living with the practices that work for me in ways I couldn’t have imagined I would have the insights to meet.
I am a glorious flawed authentic woman.
My tiny home and my precious group of friends, my trusty wheelchair, and a heart full of gratitude leads me into each new day.
Gratitude is a super power. Journalling is how you CAN access that power.
Your work/purpose/channel are exquisite and what our world needs.
Namaste 🙏🏻
This deserves more thumbs up!!
Totally! Powerful stuff.
This is what I see in Katie. She is a smart, honest woman who is a dedicated mom who, I’m sure, has brought up 4 good kids, has a successful career and is healing herself from childhood trauma. I hope she can silence her inner critic for good and do what she enjoys. I found a hobby at 55 that I love, am good at and brings me and others, joy. Katie is determined and will find her bearings if she keeps doing the work. ❤️🇨🇦
I really liked this episode covering the Idealised Self, The Collapsed Self and the Authentic Self. I have never heard it explained so well. Thank you.
So inspiring to witness Katie's journey...Rediscovering the Beauty of her True Self.
Excellent session. Look forward to the next. And Katie, if you read this, please be proud of the work you’re doing. It’s invaluable and will be the best investment you ever make.
Very touching thank you for this. Especially to Katie for being so vulnerable.
This is such a powerful session, thank you both for sharing this. I think Katie is doing great work getting to the real depth of herself here. I too am 51 and been “working” at authenticity for many years with a great deal of help, I often hit the same patterns again (as I am doing now, so the timing of this video is so helpful) and again, but each time I come at them, I deal with them from a more capable level. Keep going Katie...you’re super inspiring....❤️
Thank you both. It really resonates with me. Thank you Katie, for letting yourself be seen, it helps me on my own path of discovery to my authentic self. You are a wonderful woman.
This was very very relatable to me. Thank you Katie for willing to taking this subject on and sharing it here. I needed to hear this. You are an inspiration, and can be proud for the hard work you are putting in. Wonderful woman.
I wish there was some way I could reach out to Katie to thank her for sharing her story - and to you, Alex, for the counseling and advice and guidance and insights you provided Katie. I've been literally BINGE watching Katie's story / sessions because I identify with Katie 100%. From Session One I kept pausing the video every few minutes and sitting in silent amazement and wonder at how Katie was expressing , sometimes verbatim, the thoughts and feelings that I have struggled with on a day to day basis. If there was ever a way to write to Katie to thank her for sharing her story and thoughts and feelings so candidly so that we could be a part of her healing journey, and indeed heal ourselves, I would love to write to her! There have been times when I just want to reach through the screen and tell Katie, I COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SAID, and just give her a hug.
This was POWERFUL! Thank you Alex for explaining such important information. This has given me a huge lift and direction as I move forward in my personal work.
Zoom and the inner critic. Everyone must be feeling a lot of it!
Really feel for you Katie - thank you for your bravery 💕
Thank you, Katie, for sharing!! I relate so much to your feelings and challenges.
Alex, thank you for your generosity in helping people heal through sharing your gift. I had been working through the Reset program (before Covid)and had gotten off track. I gave up. This session with Katie has given me so much hope. Now I have the desire to go back to the Reset program and press on. Also, I’ll keep watching your programs for help and encouragement.
I find your humility and honesty really endearing. It's sad that we often can't see ourselves as others see us.
Hey Katie, in case you ever read this: To me it appears that there is quite some beauty within you. It comes out especially, because you work so hard on yourself. Your not just doing yourself a big favor with that, but it also benefits the people around you. That is very beautiful in my perspective. All the best wishes to you on your journey.
This video helped me as other with Katie. I’m also 51 and in a very similar situation, trying to find my true self.
Katie me too! Regrets. Lots. Same age.
I know this is old, but maybe someone reads this. I learned from Mel Robbins (can find her on internet or youtube or google high five) to high five myself in the mirror. And at a certain moment I started saying; you are beautiful. And I genuinely see that now when high fiving. Where I used to be critical.
Love these tools! Thanks Alex & Katie ❤️
Yep, spot on! Done it myself for years, now 71 ENOUGH just ENOUGH! I abuse myself but now with a bloated tummy like a toad from post surgical hernias after hysterectomy for cancer. I nearly died but I am here eating healthy and being KIND myself.
Katie, take it steady, time will give you great peace, it really will
This is so interesting, her inner critic is really doing battle here; interrupting, not listening, and pushing the victim narrative. Great job Alex, your patience is notable. I appreciate these videos very much.
Katie I've watched all your episodes well done Girl
Sorry about the situation with your husband. your courage, sensibility, honestly to take the journey with in is hard work but we'll worth it
Hope we hear more from you..
From Australia
Once a again from Australia
I can relate with Katie . She is an inspiration .
I feel the same way as you do Katie, but you are a beautiful person and soul, both inside and out, and that is true. You care - there are so many people who do not car for anyone else but themselves, and that is defiantly not you. You have a true, loving, nurturing heart, and this world is a better place with you in it Katie, remember that. Love and hugs. xxx
Watching this is watching, and hearing, myself. So much so, it's uncanny. I've been through all of this and after decades of abusiveness, put-downs and never-ending conflict, my "enough is enough" moment came, and I made a decision: to cut myself off from a toxic family dynamic which was at the root of lifelong anxiety, depression and crushing self-doubt. Slowly, I'm learning to breathe on my own, as Katy did in the course of her therapy. She's a courageous, super-intelligent and beautiful woman. And inspirational.
Wow! Katy. You are so strong!. Thank you! I appreciate your sharing. Thank you Dr. Howard for this work and making it available to us.
Katie is a beautiful kind sensitive lady, and needs to realise that.
Wow Alex, your explaination of the three selves is illuminating. Thankyou
Do we need to be loved to begin with?
Katie, you are a rock star in my book. Learned so much about myself through this session and I’ve ready done a lot of work myself! Thank you 🙏
Katie your doing great I can relate to you so much thank you both for sharing 💖
I see you katie.your beautiful 💛
i hear you Katie
It’s sad that we find it so hard to see our own beauty. Every episode I’ve watched of Katie I think how beautiful she is…she’s very pretty yet doesn’t see it. But the main thing is her inner beauty which shines through
Dear Katie
I so wish I had gone down this road 10 years ago...
👏👏👏👏
⚘
Is anyone helping this woman with her menopause? I think hrt would really help her.
Get a divorce and tell your kids to cook for themselves and clean up after themselves when they visit.
They can pamper you now. You raised them. Its your turn now.
Menopause causes weight gain and so much bloating.
Alex is not doing his research on the hormones of a 50 year old. I want to tell her so much that would help her in menopause.
I totally agree.
I've gone from a size 10 to a 16 through menoupause....its not easy xxx
@harpsailorharp6716 Thank you for sharing this. I always had to work at, but since menopause....I am 50, I have gained 30 lbs and it's terrible. I'm currently eating air most days and still bloated.
@rawbodiesareyummy I was a size 10 all my life flat stomache the lot ...until i reached 37 and now aged 48 I'm size 16 and my eating is the same if not healthier too ? xx It's difficult xx
@rawbodiesareyummy hormones my love so do not be too hard on yourself xx
Katie BELIEVES the critical voice
20:19 there you go
Katie says yes to you a lot but its an empty yes. Shes on autopilot there, just agreeing cause thats what she thinks is appropriate
Does it actually resolve anything
I’ll stick my neck out here - and I’m only half way through…she’s right, she’s travelled this ‘help’ journey with Alex AND her own self help too . I honestly feel Katie is so unhappy with herself BECAUSE she trying to pedal her own bike now , and quite right too !!! She’s been the wife and the mother - now be Yourself Katie!!! I feel you need to free yourself from the ‘ going nowhere resentful marriage that hasn’t lit your fire for years, IF at all ‘ that is debilitating your inner sense of freedom . To me you are SCREAMING I won’t OUT ! Only then will you lose your weight, buck yourself up and be free of the wife /mother stuff that’s quite frankly DONE . Get your country cottage get your hens and enjoy what YOU want .. DO IT 🙏
Katie, you are beautiful what would you do if a beautiful woman came to you and said you can look like me but who you are is gone forever
I know your decision yes you are beautiful
Katie darling try hey hormonal replacement I promise you will feel different I been, there forget that husband!! Go salon manicure 💅 make one friend I feel pain send you ❤
Externalise the critic and then walk away from that abusive person
The marriage is over. Been there and got the divorce. Never looked back. I don't miss him.
61 years old and i don’t have a photo of myself….no one…
She is such a deeply unpleasant person I genuinely can’t believe anyone would want to spend any time with her at all. I gave up after a few minutes of the whinging.
The man who married this woman still has two to three decades of life ahead. Americans have a movie line applicable here:
“Run, Forest, RUUUUN!!!!!!!”
I hope you're not married
mean comment and unnecessary
@@harpsailorharp6716gg
To a person who is married to a similar psycho type, the admonition to “RUN!!!” is very necessary and even life affirming. Regretfully, the likelihood of him reading it is rather low.
The Americans also have a famous movie line (quite applicable here): "You complete me." While the Czech have a saying "Mluviti stříbro, mlčeti zlato." The likelihood of the husband (Simon, not Forest!) reading this is of no importance, as it is totally unlikely that he would follow this bitchy, vicious, shitty piece of advice. Your comment about a person going through therapy, and struggling with it, says a lot about you, nothing much about Katie or her husband.
Get a personal trainer, it's too hard trying to change exercise habits on your own.