My memory had gotten so terrible that I couldn't remember all that I was struggling with in life which is several pages long since now I can remember that I forget and have the motivation to write it all down. I also had been gaslighted by so many doctors that would say "a male your age can't have that problem." Thank heavens I finally got the right meds
So glad you finally got a diagnosis and medication! You should be proud of the fact that you kept fighting for it even though it was a difficult process :)
Happy to hear that you're getting better! It's all about keeping yourself on an upwards spiral. Don't jump up or you might fall down. Just try to be a tiny bit "better" than before every 2 weeks (not every day, since adhs tends to be lots of ups and down).
YESSS. Once I've overcome problems, I forgot almost all of the struggles and now I think life was easy (until I'm hit with another big obstacle or read my old memos) 🥲
Saaame, I’m 32 and even calling the secretary to get an appointment with a the only doctor in the region that could diagnose ADHD in adults, and the woman was trying to convince me that since I’m already adult, I don’t have it, even thou my life has gone nowhere because of it, dropped many universities…. And forgetting things is my main problem, specifically in school but since I’m smart I could finish just by guessing the majority of things, but university you can’t do that. Since I started the medication I’m more and more convinced I was right, even thou I’m not sure it’s the best active, but unfortunately in France they only approved one so (I can’t believe how medicine is so slow here, even general doctors and à psychiatrists told me there were no treatments for ADHD in adults, like? Wtf? Yes there are many things…)
There need to be more videos like this about the failed relationships, the extended heartbreak, the failed jobs, the self sabotage, and even just the weird sleep habits. Not to mention countless unfinished projects and obsessions, self criticisms, and self doubt. Even now I have opposing thoughts of “yeah, you could do that, Me.” and “you’ll never follow through. Your first video will die in production, just like countless other projects you were excited about, Me.”
I feel this comment so deeply. It can be an incredibly dark place and I think we need to allow ADHDers to express that without the shame attached. I really hope that you know that you're not alone, and those feelings are totally normal in your position, and that things can get better :)
I got fired from my first teaching job. Self sabotage was explicitly mentioned. Basically I'd been improving in the first year. Slowly and not great but it was happening. Then all that progress disappeared again as I struggled so much with routines and organisation. I'd forget important meetings and lesson observations. It was inexplicable. I KNEW what I needed to do. When I asked I could give a high level answer with justifications and theory behind it. But upon implementation I just fell apart in the day to day. That's what made me eventually look towards ADHD. It was only when I found out about the executive dysfunction that it started to make sense.
It’s very expensive. And I’m not talking about diagnosis and treatment. Literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in foregone income, late fees, high interest rates, and ultimately excuses for not going out.
This right here. I'm 50 years old and have struggled my whole life... They didn't realize I was struggling with it...and the mental health help wasn't there like it is now and I'm so grateful now. I was diagnosed 5 years ago but haven't had treatment yet... But I am now in therapy as of a month ago and we are talking about ADHD meds. It's gonna be probably another month before I am on them. This video hit hard with me and I cried. Thank you for sharing this video 🤗🤗🤗
Hey there LilStampBug! Thank you for sharing your story - I know that often the struggle with undiagnosed ADHD can be lonely and depressing. You should be so proud that you are now taking steps to improve your life - I'm honestly rooting for you! Keep on keepin' on. xxx
Thank you so much for this video. I am so sick and tired of watching videos romanticizing problems neuro divergent people go through. I am autistic and I have ADD, and all I see is people saying that is great to be autistic and that is so fun and quirky to have adhd, but.... why can't I relate to that? I was diagnosed this year, I'm 42 and these 2 things have destroyed my life. There is nothing fun about it, I have a real hard time interacting with people, so, how is that a good thing? Plus ALL the other things you've listed here... so thank you for keeping it real and making me feel human and not some alien who is the only one who seems to have been negatively impacted by my disorders... while other people feel so "special" for being different.
Hey there Monty Cora, thank you for your comment :) I'm really glad that you feel a little less alone now after watching this video - many of us are struggling more than we would ever let on, and please know that that is not an unusual thing to happen. The world, and society, is designed for near-typical brains, and that means that we are constantly having to adjust and fight against that. It's tiring and often overwhelming. I hope that you can move forward with some positive steps in overcoming the challenges you face, even if only knowing that you are not alone is the first step on that journey. We are all rooting for you!
Omg. Teaching is what made me realise I have ADHD! I find it so stressful. I'm actually not great at it in either the classroom or the office. I procrastinate over everything including how to do things during a lesson. Often leads to behaviour trouble because I fail to sanction promptly. I'd also forget observations and all the staff expectations. I just can't do it much longer.
Hey there :) I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with teaching, but please know that you're not alone! As I say in the video I published called "Why I Quit Teaching" I talk about my experiences and yours sound strikingly familiar. I hope that you have found a career now that can work alongside your ADHD and not against it! Thank you for commenting on my video - it's really good to know that my experiences can help people feel less alone. Wishing you luck on your journey, Emily
I am grateful for this video as I was just diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s and I never knew what was wrong just that I didn't function like everyone else. I admit I like the fun videos to coupe with this ADHD but I also like this video that gives you the real life effects of ADHD.
Hey there SnuggieMonster :) So glad that you have a diagnosis now and know that you don't have to blame yourself for something being "wrong"! It's all about telling the complete story - I still laugh at myself on the daily for the ADHD things I do, but I think the long-term impacts are often glossed over. Thank you for your support of my channel!
I love this so much. I'm currently a literal mess, and I'm awaiting a second opinion on a diagnosis (a psych diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, and said I'm not "impaired" enough to have ADHD) I've struggled with finances, impulsive and destructive behavior, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and many other things that I believe are caused by ADHD. My brother and sister are both diagnosed, and I believe I just slipped through the cracks as a kid. So I'm currently keeping a list of moments in my life where my ADHD has impacted me negatively, things that I didn't share at my last evaluation. My next appointment is in April, and I hope I'll be listened to this time.
Hi Christian, thank you so much for sharing your story. I know that getting a diagnosis can be incredibly challenging, and the whole process is ironic in the fact that it requires huge amounts of executive functioning, which is something many ADHDers struggle with! Keeping a record is an excellent way of showing your clinician what you are struggling with. Think also about recording your emotions at these times too - depression and ADHD are often linked, and if the ADHD-like-symptoms are directly linked to periods of significant depression then you're more likely to be given a ADHD diagnosis. Wishing you luck - you're so much stronger than you think. We're all rooting for you! Emily x
You’re right! Thanks for sharing. I’m 63. Been diagnosed a short time ago. Knowledge, education helps. Figuring out my own practical changes (like laying out my clothes the night before) is a welcome challenge. Making a habit of small things that actually help me is hard. Living outside my extremely structured workplace is hard. Creating my own structure is hard. Often, I just sleep. With my cats. Cats are the best! 😻
We need more of this especially if you're undiagnosed adult with ADHD, Autism spectrum or sth else all those TikToks are swell but I would never wish the life I lived on any kid's. Like doing homework till 3am to only get to a D.
I feel this all strongly. I have autism/aspergers, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, De-realization and de-personalziation, OCD (primarily thought related), and emotional numbing. Im a massive fucking mess sometimes, and sometimes I explode at the people arpund me and hurt them. And then afterwards I feel awful and feel like offing myself.
Every single thing you said here is a hundred percent real and true for me. I'm still undiagnosed at 35, and just filled out a form today to start getting CBT therapy and get diagnosed.
Hi Gypsymoon246! Thank you for comment :) I'm so sorry that you are still struggling with this burden, I really hope that you can get the help you need. Please know that things can and will get better. I have so much hope for you for the future - please come back and let me know how your CBT and diagnosis journey goes! With love, Emily x
Omg, omg omg! Are you….me?! Have I been cloned and given an (REALLY ADORABLE AND SUPER COMFORTING TO LISTEN TO, btw) English/British accent unbeknownst to me?!?! Literally….you just described every single aspect of myself and my life/how I have been living said life! I mean I just watched you describe who I am/have been for years now to.a.T. When I tell you it was….bizarre to hear you say those things I mean it was damn near frightening!! Absolutely unsettling, to say the least…I mean it was uncanny, LITERALLY my EXACT behavior/symptoms/issues/struggles/realizations about my own mental hurdles and issues and the horrible rollercoaster of emotions that plague my existence every day. And throughout my day in the context of interactions that I I’m have with the people i come in contact with/friends/loved ones, etc. I am seriously mind blown right now, I literally cannot believe how uncanny and utterly IDENTICAL you // your existence is to me and my existence is! I watched this video three times now and I just can not get over it! It’s INSAAAAAANE!!!
Hey there Tausha! Aw, this comment made me smile - I actually read it for the first time when I was in London filming the clips at the start of my most recent vlog! I would have replied at the time but I was super busy. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I know it can be surreal experience when someone you've never met has had the same thoughts/feelings, but hopefully that makes you feel less alone in them :) I know it can be an incredibly grim place to be mentally, but please know that it can, and will get better. Sending love and light from the UK - I hope you get the help and support you need soon! Em x
Finally seeing ADHD video that looks like me is a bit of a relief. I get so angry when I see people portray ADHD symptoms as so quirky and Oh I misplaced my keys again, SQUIRREL!!! instead of the dumpster fire everyday can be like. Everyday is a struggle for me and it makes me so angry every time I have someone in my life tell me how I have potential and I can do X,Y and Z I just need to DO IT! because look and these folks and they are succeeding even with ADHD. It feels like I was set up to fail right from the start. How casually my mother would say that my pediatrician wanted to put me on medication for being extra hyper as a kid and she said no because I would “grow out of it”, and look at me, I’m just fine now. Only to find out as an adult from a random article that that I identify with every symptom of ADHD because that is what is actually is, not just me not being able to keep still ever. I think about that day when I was 7 in my first confession in church and I confess that my sin is not paying attention to my teachers instructions and suddenly I hear the priest yelling at me because I didn’t hear a word of my contrition and I have no idea how many Hail Marys I’m suppose to do. I’m not just fine because as a woman in her 40s the struggle of every day is exhausting. I wonder how my ADHD has affected my kid as they watch me hyper fixate and knit a sweater in three days but can’t get the dishes from three nights dinner done or how I can draw a hyper realistic digital portrait for 8 hours and can’t pay our bills on time even though the money is just waiting to be sent with a one click away as well as so many of the the simple things I just can’t get done. Like make a simple doctors appointment so that I can get the medication and therapy I desperately need. I hate ADHD and it’s not fun, quirky or a superpower. It’s just my life wrecker. I appreciate this video and hearing that it’s not just me.
Hi JustAnotherName. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story - the bit about going to confession sounds so traumatic and really shows the lifetime of guilt and shame that so many ADHDers have pent up inside of them. I really hope that realising that there's not anything "wrong" with you and that your brain is just wired up in a different way has been liberating and relieved some of that guilt and shame. That's the first step in making positive changes - I am sure that if your kid sees that, although you might struggle with doing the dishes or paying the bills on time, you are taking pro-active steps (like engaging with the ADHD community!) to tackle the challenges you face, then they won't be affected badly. Taking on those challenges is the kind of behaviour your kid will admire and look up to! You've got this - WE'VE got this! Be proud that you're taking steps in the right direction, however small. We're all rooting for you. Emily x
Yea, my husband and my kids make comments about me losing EVERYTHING. It's not funny at all to me because it's so frustrating that I can't keep track of anything. My 7 year old missed a birthday party because I lost the invitation. I am currently fighting with my 10 years Olds father because he thinks he doesn't need meds and I'm forcing it on him for no reason. I find it so tiring trying to explain it to him. I'm working on paying off bills and setting up automatic payments for those I can't because I miss them by 1 day often. I will think about it and just totally forget to go back and actually pay it.
Yes yes yes and YESSSSS Thank you thank you and THANK YOU So true all of it! It's a real huge struggle at every waking moment and not all fun and games❣️ 🤗🤗 constantly climbing the hill to nowhere😢
Comments like these make me smile - thank you for the support. I'm sorry you find things hard like I did, but please know that things can and will get better! Hoping you are doing okay, and thank you for supporting my channel :) you are a star. Em x
I know that this might sound strange but I feel that my Aspergers counteracts my ADD, I certainly have struggles with making and maintaining friendships and also suffer with anxiety and depression, but when it comes to time keeping I’m more reliable than a Casio watch. I’m lucky enough to work in a job working in mental health, which I have enjoyed doing for the past 28 year’s and feel that the people I have supported over this time have given me a reason to get up in the morning and have considered most of them as friends.
Hi Jason, thank you for your comment :) I'm so glad that you've found a career that you love and that that gives you the support and motivation you need to face any challenges your brain might throw at you! Everyone's experience is different and I love hearing about how people have managed their ADD/ASD, so thank you for sharing.
Thank you Emily for being brave enough to share how your ADHD affects your day to day life, videos like yours help so many people suffering in silence who have not yet been diagnosed, and after watching things may full into place as to the reasons why they feel so different to others.
As a 27 year old woman with ADHD (who was only diagnosed a year ago) I haven’t even watched the whole video I’m only 22 seconds in but I already hit subscribe just from the title and also how pleasant your voice is lol
Emily to you and all those who are finding out about your ADHD earlier in life be thankful. I found out in my late 40s. I wish I had known about this before. When I grew up ADHD and neurodiversity were rarely if ever discussed. Don't even think the subject was as well known. As a kid what I needed help with was Executive Function and aid in focusing but what I got was put in special education which I really did not need. Be thankful you found out early and can manage it, and leverage the positives, vs finding out later in life in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond like some of us older people. Thanks for the great video. Think having open content like this also really helps people who are struggling and trying to figure out what is going on.
Thank you for sharing your story Hobgoblin4614 - I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a late diagnosis. I am thankful that I have now received mine, but also proud that I made it to my 30s with no idea that I was fighting harder than anyone else! So glad my content is useful :) thank you so much for your support! Em x
It gets so hard sometimes especially being undiagnosed now before people come at me, ive been experiancing symptoms since i was 12 im 19 now my dad has it and ive done research after research, im currently only NOW getting a diagnosis due to the fact i no longer will need to be reffered by school (which is so stupid in how that is done) Because im undiagnosed it gets so hard people never understanding it Especially the emotional dysregulation aspect of it that can fully make me feel depressed and symptoms of depression. Adhd untreated like mine has left me to do dangerous habits like bad eating ones (to gain control and a dopamine rush) and even addiction. It gets so hard, and honestly i think from so many years of being misunderstood in my own home has really damaged me mentally, suicidal ideation in adhd is no joke it gets so bad. If you are a parent with a child with adhd, LISTEN TO THEM Love their interests, be interested in what they have to offer, love the little facts they tell you, and dont get mad when their emotions may seem alot. It was these things that my parent neglected that left me struggling to hold on, but hey im trying. ❤
Thank you. I didn’t realize my “neurodiverse” brain until I was almost 30 a few years ago, friends just would said I live on RamZee time or that I’m just sensitive but I have felt all 6 of those negatives and have been struggling pretty bad in my own mind. I always appreciate the actually honesty and legit people just trying to help us get through these “terrible times” you can say. I really do appreciate the content. Keep it up and good luck
thank you for making this video! It really gave me insight into my own life, and my strugels with memory. i was diagnosed in 2nd grade but never really understood it and blamed myself.
Hey there Addison Black, Thank you for your comment :) I'm so glad you found this video helpful. Hopefully now that you are beginning to understand yourself and your diagnosis a little better you can stop blaming yourself and start being kind to yourself!
I got diagnosed with combined type at 30 bc it was apparent something wasn’t right and life was piling up and becoming harder to manage. Had to do a qbtest along with my wife filling out some questionnaires, etc and finally getting on the right track. Very surprised tho the qb score I got put me at really severe and scored in the 99th percentile in a category which is nuts lol this is a good highlight on the negative aspect and also tics can be one too. The creativity aspect is good tho if you can manage to turn all the ideas popping up into something productive. That’s the hardest part I’d say is having a million ideas but having a hard time putting it all together.
Hey Justin - welcome to the late-diagnosis club! I hope that having a diagnosis will help you make the changes you need in your life to improve things, and that you have the support you need to do that :)
I'm switching off the heavy stuff, for now. However I just gotta say that I'm glad I stumbled across you, I like you and your format/vibe so..Hi Emily! It's a pleasure for you to meet me! ;) I also have ADHD and look forward to seeing more from you!
Hi there Miles, Thank you for taking the time to comment. It's perfectly fine if you need to switch off the negative bits for now - you gotta protect your mind! So glad you like my content :) Please do check back in and say hi again!
great video! so many people are invalidating others' experiences based on those funny videos. but yeah, most of us aren't going to make a video of our darkest moments.
Brave girl…it must have taken so much courage to make this video… It highlights the pain and despair suffered by so many Adders… So much more understanding and professional help is need to be put in place… The worst thing for anyone with any form of mental health issues is finding help from someone who actually understands the problems faced by sufferers, partners and parents etc..
Hi John. Thank you - I was a little nervous to share some of this stuff, but I think it's important, and knowing that it has helped people to feel less alone is so wonderful. Thank you for your support of my channel!
ADHD and what I currently assume to be nonbinary-ness destroyed my life. I thought I was like everybody else and couldn't understand why nothing ever worked out. Turns out I was not and only after my ADHD diagnosis I have realised over the last two years that I had no idea who I actually was, most of what I assumed to be my personality seems more like a mask.
Hey there :) Thank you so much for your comment, and for sharing your story. It sounds like you've had a really rough time of it, but it's encouraging to hear that you are slowly coming to an understanding of why you have been struggling. That understanding is the first step on a journey to making your life better. We're all rooting for you!
Thanks Amanda! YOU are amazing too - relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
This has been my whole life. Not one but fun! My life has been hell for years as you get older, I am 43 and could never get my shit together. Always been different. But basically I have failed at life due to too it.
Hey there Mark, I'm glad that you found my video useful - I'm sorry to hear that you find some of the negative aspects of the disorder relatable, but hopefully knowing that you're not alone in that makes you feel supported :)
Humor brings awareness and acceptance. It's done well to get the word out now. It's time to bring in the troubled parts. Everyone around me are either too critical or not critical enough. Those closest to me know to step back and let me do my thing. However, they often don't see when I need constructive criticism until I've lost all sense of direction. I get lost in what I'm doing and where I'm going so easily.
Yes, this is very true. I think a lot of work needs to be done to help people who are neurotypical to understand what ADHDers need and how best to support. Unfortunately that type of content is missing from the TikToks!
Sorry to hear of your struggles, I myself am currently undiagnosed and am awaiting a diagnosis. Am an adult but have struggled with this issue all my life. Pretty certain I have ADHD both my sons have Autism and ADHD have a younger brother with Asperger’s and others in the family who have ADHD. So I understand your perspective yes a lot of UA-cam instagram and TikTok feeds about ADHD are funny and show the lighter side of this condition which can be a good thing. However I agree there is a dark side to it too, I struggle with memory issues and emotional disregulation along with the time management which has caused me problems in my personal and work life. Good luck with your journey and if possible please go back into teaching we need people in that field that want to be there and also have a personal perspective on special needs kids
Hi there Fire Forger, Thank you for your comment - I would love to go back into teaching, but right now I need to focus on getting healthy and happy again :) Totally agree that kids need more teachers who are neuro-diverse; representation matters! I hope that your assessment journey brings you some clarity on your situation and positively improves your mental state - good luck!
I can relate to so much of your experience. I used to be a maths teacher, during the day was ok as you were always busy but after the lessons were done and you had to be organised it was a nightmare. My record keeping was virtually non existent and marking and report writing was torture I could never stay on top if it. Did 7 years before calling it a day.
Hiya Sunday162, aaaa - ex-teachers together! I totally agree, 9 - 3pm I was ON FIRE, being social, being creative, having fun with the kids and getting to hyper-focus on my favourite subject. Outside of those hours I was A MESS. Totally exhausted, overwhelmed, disorganised, emotionally drained. As I said, I genuinely do think I was a great teacher (when I was in front of the kids), and I think my ADHD traits actually made me that way (eg: I was a shameless nerd who managed to persuade my year 10s that gothic literature is cool as). However, the system that teaching exists within (especially in the UK) does nothing to support the wellbeing of its staff, and it is not a workplace which is neuro-diverse friendly. Honestly you should be so proud that you did 7 years! You will have had such a profound impact on so many young people, and you can't underestimate the learning you went through yourself about what you can and can't do, and the support you need, within the workplace. I hope you have found a career now that allows you to be yourself and capitalises on your talents! Emily x
@@adhdemily Yes teaching in the UK is brutal for the expectations and workload. I’m still approached every now and then by former students, just last week in fact by someone in my current workplace I taught 10 years ago, they still remembered my lessons and the music I showed them. It’s been really hard to get past the feelings of failure, but I’m almost there now, 3.5 years it’s taken to work my way up in a new career and match my teaching salary. I work 8-4 in a fast paced office job (no project work, tasks no longer than 1 day) and take nothing home, it is wonderful. I hope you also found greater happiness in your new ventures.
I'm a schoollab-technician. I get to do the fun stuff with the children but I do not have the burden of marking/grading/record-keeping (Well, not to the extends teachers have to, anyway). Love it!!
Thanks Liset! Relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
I'm right in that kind of negative tunnel, and listening to your experience helps me to accept it a little more and to tell it to my relatives and teachers so they understand the situation better! Thanks!
I'm sorry to hear that - I know just how hard that can be. Know that there is always hope, and people out there who understand :) I'm so glad my content helped; thanks for watching!
Hi there Margaret, I'm glad that my video helped you to put into words you experiences. I hope that you aren't currently in that dark place, but if you are, please know that you are not alone :)
Thanks Carol! relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
there are times where i am so hyperactive and distracted and i must fidget that i am literally curled up in a ball, making weird grunts, almost shaking, and i can't see anything because i am distracted and get these vivid images in my brain. it is like really intense daydreaming for me and it is wildly awful. it can go on for hours and i can't do anything about it.
Hey Yulinn. Totally empathise with your situation; I hope you are getting the help and support you need to help you make steps forward, however small they may be. Sending hope, Em x
Going to get a diagnosis this month, really hoping that meds can help me live the life i've always said i want to live, but have sabotaged myself from having so far.
Hey there Solsamsa, I hope that a diagnosis helps you - you have already made steps towards creating that life you want to live by pursuing that. I wish you all the luck in the world - we're all rooting for you.
My last relationship, the one guy I actually fell in love with, was ADHD, but I was never told. I also didn't know that all the traits that were both magical and hateful were a classic symptom of this. He truly shattered me. It has been 10 months of him ghosting me because he found something more shiny...and I am still devastated by how COLD he truly is. I will heal. Will he?
Hi there Meko, I'm sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience with the dark side of ADHD. Sending my best wishes to you on your healing journey!
I’m sorry to hear what’s happened to you. But trust me there’s plenty of men out there. I get it though I recently got stuck on a girl and only now ~7 months later am I getting out of the funk. As a guy with ADHD, I’ll say that I have ruined every relationship/potential relationship via my communication falling apart. It even happened with this last girl who was literally perfect to me, she quite literally felt like “my other half.” I’d never connected with anyone, not even my friends, like how I connected with her. But I went from talking to her everyday for 4-8 hours, to responding a few times in a day if she was lucky, seemingly overnight for no particular reason. She thought I lost feelings which was anything but the truth, and eventually she ended it and ghosted me. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like I find someone else, or stop liking/loving someone, but it just seems impossible for me to maintain a balance of normal communication long term.
I am 33...I am not sure but I am starting to believe that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I was able to relate to this to a stupid level... Even so I dont move places.... tho at this point I sometimes would love to because I just wanna go somewhere where noone knows me so I can start over... The shame of all the lost and failed job attempts is gigantic and there is so much more, I can not hold any stability in my life not even with small things... sometimes... periodically I can but then Ill be so exhausted from holding my shit together that I collapse again for even longer periods of time... Its such a weird cycle. Idk if this is ADHD or some other issue... but there surely is something not quite right with me....
Hi there DreaminGhost, Thank you for your comment. Reading about your experiences it sounds like you've been to some really dark places, and I'm sorry that this has been such a feature in your life. Please know that you're not alone and there are plenty of people who can empathise with your feelings and experiences. I would suggest you talk to your GP about a potential assessment for ADHD, but that is just one potential diagnosis you could have. It sounds like you could do with some support, so please make sure you talk to someone who is trained to give you the guidance you need to make things better :) Wishing you all the luck with the journey ahead; we are all rooting for you!
I’m 51 and just figured out I’m ASD and ADD. I’m curious. Did you feel meditation helped these negatives? Especially curious about the memory, depression and anxiety
I’m 55 and just finally had diagnosis. It explains so much of my dopamine seeking behaviour, impulsivity, inability to manage money, inability to focus, my exhaustion and depression, my social anxiety. I’m sure meditation would help.
I'm also 51 and have been diagnosed with ASD and ADD 6 month ago. I've been taken ritalin for the last 3 mounts and though I think it is helping me, it's not as effective on me as others describe. It's only helping me a little bit with attention, but I feel that my mood is notably better and weirdly enough, it helps with my autism and anxiety. I was lucky to get a psychiatrist that is an expert in kombined ASD and ADD, and he told me that it is not uncommon to feel that way, even though ritalin should have absolutely no effect on ASD. Or maybe it could be as simple as taking ritalin is helping me lose weight and that helps my diabetes and gives me more energy. It probably also helps knowing that there's a reason why I feel so different and lazy, even though I still feel that way.
Hey WizardKitty23. So I've been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, dysthymia and clinical depression, and generalised anxiety, but I do not have many ASD symptoms. In terms of whether I think the medication has helped my depression and anxiety I would definitely say that that is my hope! If you watch my video "Starting Concerta XL" on my channel you will see that I believe that my depression and anxiety are likely deeper symptoms of the stress and consequences of my untreated ADHD (eg: struggling to hold down a job because I couldn't complete executive tasks). It is my hope that by treating the ADHD, my depression and anxiety will be alleviated. Ultimately I'm only on month 2 of my medication journey, but I would definitely say that day-to-day I am feeling a little brighter :) Keep on checking in with my vlogs to see what effects it has for me long-term. I really hope that you get the support and help that you need to love a happy, full and fulfilling life :) we're all rooting for you! x
heya , diagnosed on spectrum (when i was 20yi am 30y now) . i am a man(relativly smart and highly senstive) . most studies show woman are underdiagonsed , i think it has too do with upbring being more emotianly tuned so and there for better at hiding there symptons("the norm"). so i wanted too talk about the 3de point 4:31 i think this is one of those things that happens because of co-oping. u learn to mask who u are by doing the things u want because they might stand out or are generaly not wanted, or u think they are not wanted, well u know what i am taking about i am sure. i believe what u feel is realy but how u are aware of it is wrong i know its an ugly word but please hear me out i am truly writing this because i think it can help you see a perspective u might not see right now, but for that u need to accept u can be wrong and that it is okay to be wrong, i have been wrong many times in my live and i am glad of the fact i can see that now. so the feeling of it is intense i have also felt it feeling completly crippled, one appionment can take up entire weeks of mental stress, if not more and the prospect of doing it all over aign well...(this is one of many things ofcourse i understand that it is not simple but complex). i want too point out what i think would have helped me alot when i was think the way u do right now. is it truly the apointment your afraid of or is it yourself? because you think you should behave in a certain way, maby look silly, do something u regret, and so on. i challange u too look not towards the outside but the inside how long have u being stuck in paterns that dont work for you or give you huge amounts of stress. who are u truly and should you be ashamed of that? the treu fear is not that of others but yourself(because you already judge yourself harsly it is more of getting a conformation about the things your inscure about meaning anthing that will confirm that feeling will be devestating and utterly debilitating ) . too get in touch with your feelings u can try a simple exersise its like getting a base line if u know this u will learn more, take something simple like a rainbow or a bunch of shapes, pick your favorite color or shape. now why did u pick that one? because it felt right ? or because u thought that would be the best one? or maby u cant pick. thing is if u scan over it and it trigges a certain response maby some of the shapes make u happy some sad, those are your emotions. if u are thinking about why and how those are your thoughts. the diffrence is your emotions you feel like touching something with your hand.you create thoughts you hand touching the shape u choose will feel it but your thoughts will anylise it making sense of it all. the thing is your thoughts you can invluance but your feeling are a diffrent story all together u feel what u feel, and only in the moment u know what u feel. too truly show yourself is too be yourself it is the most scary thing there is realy. take small steps trust those around you let them show your treu color, i see a space shuttle picture in the background i say alot about your personality, one of the biggest drawbacks is being missunderstoodt it can cause you too doubt and feeling missunderstoodt because u are so explain it dont be afraid of it those who truly love you wont reject u for something like this the see your treu nature is kind but also chaotic and that is fine. it just means u are diffrent and u have a right too be ! being too afraid can be crippeling be courageous not for others but yourself. i hope this helps u if u wanne talk about what i just typed, or explore it more dont hesitate too ask or point anything out
Hi animesadicted! Thank you so much for this comment, what you say is really interesting. I definitely feel that I don't fully know who I am, and that sometimes my self-doubt and comparison with others can make me feel unfulfilled and depressed. Your suggestion that I get to know myself and my own mind and opinions is totally valid, and something that I am working on. I'm really glad that this approached helped you :) keep on keepin' on! Emily
I have no doubt that the consequences of life with undiagnosed ADHD leads to depression. The instability alone is enough to depress anyone. Add the impact of loved ones insisting our struggles are the result of character flaws and deliberate choices. In the worst case, our life teaches us that wed can't trust our own judgement, making us vulnerable to gaslighting and abuse. I also believe that ADHD leads to suicidal thoughts that aren't so much an outgrowth of depression as they are the result of not being able to come up with a better plan.
Hi there Don, I'm sorry to hear that you have experiences these dark-sides of ADHD too. I really hope that knowing you're not alone in those experiences brings a little hope and light to your world. Emily
Let's not forget the 60% of ADHD people who went through addiction. From using drugs as a means to find motivation to getting addicted. Or using drugs as a means to mask guit and shame of lower than expected performance.
adhd has always been a bad thing , i dont know when this fkng "quirky superpower tiktok" thing begun , wtf is wrong with these people, no ,its a disadvantage, its like saying that because i am blind i can hear thing that others cant , and so i have superpowers , NO , you adapt to survive , and thats it
Hey there Adrianomartinez6231! Thank you for your comment :) I totally hear where you are coming from! It's a toughie, because I love that ADHD is being talked about more openly and people are learning more about it, but your comment 'you adapt to survive' is very true! I feel like for a very long time I was just thrashing around in the sea of life trying to stop myself from drowning; that wasn't fun or quirky, it was crap. Hope you are well and keepin' on keepin' on! Em x
I agree with Cas below! There are good things about ADHD too - I like how I am always coming up with original ideas, am really great at working under pressure, and am always up for trying new things and going on adventures :) It's not all bad!
My memory had gotten so terrible that I couldn't remember all that I was struggling with in life which is several pages long since now I can remember that I forget and have the motivation to write it all down. I also had been gaslighted by so many doctors that would say "a male your age can't have that problem." Thank heavens I finally got the right meds
So glad you finally got a diagnosis and medication! You should be proud of the fact that you kept fighting for it even though it was a difficult process :)
Happy to hear that you're getting better! It's all about keeping yourself on an upwards spiral. Don't jump up or you might fall down. Just try to be a tiny bit "better" than before every 2 weeks (not every day, since adhs tends to be lots of ups and down).
What meds do you take?
YESSS. Once I've overcome problems, I forgot almost all of the struggles and now I think life was easy (until I'm hit with another big obstacle or read my old memos) 🥲
Saaame, I’m 32 and even calling the secretary to get an appointment with a the only doctor in the region that could diagnose ADHD in adults, and the woman was trying to convince me that since I’m already adult, I don’t have it, even thou my life has gone nowhere because of it, dropped many universities…. And forgetting things is my main problem, specifically in school but since I’m smart I could finish just by guessing the majority of things, but university you can’t do that. Since I started the medication I’m more and more convinced I was right, even thou I’m not sure it’s the best active, but unfortunately in France they only approved one so (I can’t believe how medicine is so slow here, even general doctors and à psychiatrists told me there were no treatments for ADHD in adults, like? Wtf? Yes there are many things…)
There need to be more videos like this about the failed relationships, the extended heartbreak, the failed jobs, the self sabotage, and even just the weird sleep habits. Not to mention countless unfinished projects and obsessions, self criticisms, and self doubt.
Even now I have opposing thoughts of “yeah, you could do that, Me.” and “you’ll never follow through. Your first video will die in production, just like countless other projects you were excited about, Me.”
I feel this comment so deeply. It can be an incredibly dark place and I think we need to allow ADHDers to express that without the shame attached.
I really hope that you know that you're not alone, and those feelings are totally normal in your position, and that things can get better :)
I got fired from my first teaching job. Self sabotage was explicitly mentioned. Basically I'd been improving in the first year. Slowly and not great but it was happening. Then all that progress disappeared again as I struggled so much with routines and organisation. I'd forget important meetings and lesson observations. It was inexplicable. I KNEW what I needed to do. When I asked I could give a high level answer with justifications and theory behind it. But upon implementation I just fell apart in the day to day. That's what made me eventually look towards ADHD. It was only when I found out about the executive dysfunction that it started to make sense.
Failed jobs. Wasted funds. Abandoned projects. Guilt and shame. Self esteem.
It’s very expensive. And I’m not talking about diagnosis and treatment. Literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in foregone income, late fees, high interest rates, and ultimately excuses for not going out.
Amen to this.
This right here. I'm 50 years old and have struggled my whole life... They didn't realize I was struggling with it...and the mental health help wasn't there like it is now and I'm so grateful now. I was diagnosed 5 years ago but haven't had treatment yet... But I am now in therapy as of a month ago and we are talking about ADHD meds. It's gonna be probably another month before I am on them. This video hit hard with me and I cried. Thank you for sharing this video 🤗🤗🤗
Hey there LilStampBug!
Thank you for sharing your story - I know that often the struggle with undiagnosed ADHD can be lonely and depressing. You should be so proud that you are now taking steps to improve your life - I'm honestly rooting for you! Keep on keepin' on. xxx
Thank you so much for this video. I am so sick and tired of watching videos romanticizing problems neuro divergent people go through. I am autistic and I have ADD, and all I see is people saying that is great to be autistic and that is so fun and quirky to have adhd, but.... why can't I relate to that? I was diagnosed this year, I'm 42 and these 2 things have destroyed my life. There is nothing fun about it, I have a real hard time interacting with people, so, how is that a good thing? Plus ALL the other things you've listed here... so thank you for keeping it real and making me feel human and not some alien who is the only one who seems to have been negatively impacted by my disorders... while other people feel so "special" for being different.
Hey there Monty Cora, thank you for your comment :)
I'm really glad that you feel a little less alone now after watching this video - many of us are struggling more than we would ever let on, and please know that that is not an unusual thing to happen. The world, and society, is designed for near-typical brains, and that means that we are constantly having to adjust and fight against that. It's tiring and often overwhelming.
I hope that you can move forward with some positive steps in overcoming the challenges you face, even if only knowing that you are not alone is the first step on that journey.
We are all rooting for you!
Omg. Teaching is what made me realise I have ADHD! I find it so stressful. I'm actually not great at it in either the classroom or the office. I procrastinate over everything including how to do things during a lesson. Often leads to behaviour trouble because I fail to sanction promptly. I'd also forget observations and all the staff expectations. I just can't do it much longer.
Hey there :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with teaching, but please know that you're not alone! As I say in the video I published called "Why I Quit Teaching" I talk about my experiences and yours sound strikingly familiar.
I hope that you have found a career now that can work alongside your ADHD and not against it!
Thank you for commenting on my video - it's really good to know that my experiences can help people feel less alone.
Wishing you luck on your journey,
Emily
I am grateful for this video as I was just diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s and I never knew what was wrong just that I didn't function like everyone else. I admit I like the fun videos to coupe with this ADHD but I also like this video that gives you the real life effects of ADHD.
Hey there SnuggieMonster :)
So glad that you have a diagnosis now and know that you don't have to blame yourself for something being "wrong"!
It's all about telling the complete story - I still laugh at myself on the daily for the ADHD things I do, but I think the long-term impacts are often glossed over.
Thank you for your support of my channel!
I love this so much. I'm currently a literal mess, and I'm awaiting a second opinion on a diagnosis (a psych diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, and said I'm not "impaired" enough to have ADHD)
I've struggled with finances, impulsive and destructive behavior, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and many other things that I believe are caused by ADHD. My brother and sister are both diagnosed, and I believe I just slipped through the cracks as a kid.
So I'm currently keeping a list of moments in my life where my ADHD has impacted me negatively, things that I didn't share at my last evaluation. My next appointment is in April, and I hope I'll be listened to this time.
Writing things down is such a good idea! I know the big overall things that are messed up, but not everything. I have a consultation tmrw 😭
Hi Christian, thank you so much for sharing your story.
I know that getting a diagnosis can be incredibly challenging, and the whole process is ironic in the fact that it requires huge amounts of executive functioning, which is something many ADHDers struggle with!
Keeping a record is an excellent way of showing your clinician what you are struggling with. Think also about recording your emotions at these times too - depression and ADHD are often linked, and if the ADHD-like-symptoms are directly linked to periods of significant depression then you're more likely to be given a ADHD diagnosis.
Wishing you luck - you're so much stronger than you think. We're all rooting for you!
Emily x
Find a second opinion.
@ctcolbourne Oh I did, and I was diagnosed about 3 months ago
@@cgayle92cg Good stuff. ✌️
I hope you find some tranquility, progress and success in your treatment.
You’re right! Thanks for sharing. I’m 63. Been diagnosed a short time ago. Knowledge, education helps. Figuring out my own practical changes (like laying out my clothes the night before) is a welcome challenge. Making a habit of small things that actually help me is hard. Living outside my extremely structured workplace is hard. Creating my own structure is hard. Often, I just sleep. With my cats. Cats are the best! 😻
You must have been a great teacher. You can continue what you love here where theres not much work like markings behind the scenes
Thank you so much for your kind comment AfricanQueenMo :) That means a lot. Right now I'm not looking to go back into teaching, but never say never!
@@adhdemily welcome
Having ADHD has made me incredibly self-destructive as I hate myself and others around me so I can never be comfortable
We need more of this especially if you're undiagnosed adult with ADHD, Autism spectrum or sth else all those TikToks are swell but I would never wish the life I lived on any kid's. Like doing homework till 3am to only get to a D.
I feel this all strongly. I have autism/aspergers, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, De-realization and de-personalziation, OCD (primarily thought related), and emotional numbing. Im a massive fucking mess sometimes, and sometimes I explode at the people arpund me and hurt them. And then afterwards I feel awful and feel like offing myself.
Every single thing you said here is a hundred percent real and true for me. I'm still undiagnosed at 35, and just filled out a form today to start getting CBT therapy and get diagnosed.
Hi Gypsymoon246! Thank you for comment :)
I'm so sorry that you are still struggling with this burden, I really hope that you can get the help you need. Please know that things can and will get better. I have so much hope for you for the future - please come back and let me know how your CBT and diagnosis journey goes!
With love,
Emily x
Omg, omg omg! Are you….me?! Have I been cloned and given an (REALLY ADORABLE AND SUPER COMFORTING TO LISTEN TO, btw) English/British accent unbeknownst to me?!?! Literally….you just described every single aspect of myself and my life/how I have been living said life! I mean I just watched you describe who I am/have been for years now to.a.T. When I tell you it was….bizarre to hear you say those things I mean it was damn near frightening!! Absolutely unsettling, to say the least…I mean it was uncanny, LITERALLY my EXACT behavior/symptoms/issues/struggles/realizations about my own mental hurdles and issues and the horrible rollercoaster of emotions that plague my existence every day. And throughout my day in the context of interactions that I I’m have with the people i come in contact with/friends/loved ones, etc. I am seriously mind blown right now, I literally cannot believe how uncanny and utterly IDENTICAL you // your existence is to me and my existence is! I watched this video three times now and I just can not get over it! It’s INSAAAAAANE!!!
Hey there Tausha!
Aw, this comment made me smile - I actually read it for the first time when I was in London filming the clips at the start of my most recent vlog! I would have replied at the time but I was super busy.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I know it can be surreal experience when someone you've never met has had the same thoughts/feelings, but hopefully that makes you feel less alone in them :) I know it can be an incredibly grim place to be mentally, but please know that it can, and will get better.
Sending love and light from the UK - I hope you get the help and support you need soon!
Em x
Finally seeing ADHD video that looks like me is a bit of a relief. I get so angry when I see people portray ADHD symptoms as so quirky and Oh I misplaced my keys again, SQUIRREL!!! instead of the dumpster fire everyday can be like. Everyday is a struggle for me and it makes me so angry every time I have someone in my life tell me how I have potential and I can do X,Y and Z I just need to DO IT! because look and these folks and they are succeeding even with ADHD.
It feels like I was set up to fail right from the start. How casually my mother would say that my pediatrician wanted to put me on medication for being extra hyper as a kid and she said no because I would “grow out of it”, and look at me, I’m just fine now. Only to find out as an adult from a random article that that I identify with every symptom of ADHD because that is what is actually is, not just me not being able to keep still ever.
I think about that day when I was 7 in my first confession in church and I confess that my sin is not paying attention to my teachers instructions and suddenly I hear the priest yelling at me because I didn’t hear a word of my contrition and I have no idea how many Hail Marys I’m suppose to do. I’m not just fine because as a woman in her 40s the struggle of every day is exhausting.
I wonder how my ADHD has affected my kid as they watch me hyper fixate and knit a sweater in three days but can’t get the dishes from three nights dinner done or how I can draw a hyper realistic digital portrait for 8 hours and can’t pay our bills on time even though the money is just waiting to be sent with a one click away as well as so many of the the simple things I just can’t get done. Like make a simple doctors appointment so that I can get the medication and therapy I desperately need. I hate ADHD and it’s not fun, quirky or a superpower. It’s just my life wrecker.
I appreciate this video and hearing that it’s not just me.
Hi JustAnotherName.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story - the bit about going to confession sounds so traumatic and really shows the lifetime of guilt and shame that so many ADHDers have pent up inside of them.
I really hope that realising that there's not anything "wrong" with you and that your brain is just wired up in a different way has been liberating and relieved some of that guilt and shame. That's the first step in making positive changes - I am sure that if your kid sees that, although you might struggle with doing the dishes or paying the bills on time, you are taking pro-active steps (like engaging with the ADHD community!) to tackle the challenges you face, then they won't be affected badly. Taking on those challenges is the kind of behaviour your kid will admire and look up to!
You've got this - WE'VE got this! Be proud that you're taking steps in the right direction, however small. We're all rooting for you.
Emily x
Yea, my husband and my kids make comments about me losing EVERYTHING. It's not funny at all to me because it's so frustrating that I can't keep track of anything. My 7 year old missed a birthday party because I lost the invitation. I am currently fighting with my 10 years Olds father because he thinks he doesn't need meds and I'm forcing it on him for no reason. I find it so tiring trying to explain it to him. I'm working on paying off bills and setting up automatic payments for those I can't because I miss them by 1 day often. I will think about it and just totally forget to go back and actually pay it.
Yes yes yes and YESSSSS Thank you thank you and THANK YOU So true all of it! It's a real huge struggle at every waking moment and not all fun and games❣️ 🤗🤗 constantly climbing the hill to nowhere😢
Comments like these make me smile - thank you for the support. I'm sorry you find things hard like I did, but please know that things can and will get better!
Hoping you are doing okay, and thank you for supporting my channel :) you are a star.
Em x
I know that this might sound strange but I feel that my Aspergers counteracts my ADD, I certainly have struggles with making and maintaining friendships and also suffer with anxiety and depression, but when it comes to time keeping I’m more reliable than a Casio watch. I’m lucky enough to work in a job working in mental health, which I have enjoyed doing for the past 28 year’s and feel that the people I have supported over this time have given me a reason to get up in the morning and have considered most of them as friends.
Hi Jason, thank you for your comment :)
I'm so glad that you've found a career that you love and that that gives you the support and motivation you need to face any challenges your brain might throw at you! Everyone's experience is different and I love hearing about how people have managed their ADD/ASD, so thank you for sharing.
Thank you Emily for being brave enough to share how your ADHD affects your day to day life, videos like yours help so many people suffering in silence who have not yet been diagnosed, and after watching things may full into place as to the reasons why they feel so different to others.
As a 27 year old woman with ADHD (who was only diagnosed a year ago) I haven’t even watched the whole video I’m only 22 seconds in but I already hit subscribe just from the title and also how pleasant your voice is lol
Aw Nehali! Thank you for subscribing :) I hope that you found the content useful and my voice soothing!
Emily to you and all those who are finding out about your ADHD earlier in life be thankful. I found out in my late 40s. I wish I had known about this before. When I grew up ADHD and neurodiversity were rarely if ever discussed. Don't even think the subject was as well known. As a kid what I needed help with was Executive Function and aid in focusing but what I got was put in special education which I really did not need. Be thankful you found out early and can manage it, and leverage the positives, vs finding out later in life in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond like some of us older people. Thanks for the great video. Think having open content like this also really helps people who are struggling and trying to figure out what is going on.
Thank you for sharing your story Hobgoblin4614 - I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a late diagnosis.
I am thankful that I have now received mine, but also proud that I made it to my 30s with no idea that I was fighting harder than anyone else!
So glad my content is useful :) thank you so much for your support!
Em x
It gets so hard sometimes especially being undiagnosed now before people come at me, ive been experiancing symptoms since i was 12 im 19 now my dad has it and ive done research after research, im currently only NOW getting a diagnosis due to the fact i no longer will need to be reffered by school (which is so stupid in how that is done)
Because im undiagnosed it gets so hard people never understanding it Especially the emotional dysregulation aspect of it that can fully make me feel depressed and symptoms of depression. Adhd untreated like mine has left me to do dangerous habits like bad eating ones (to gain control and a dopamine rush) and even addiction.
It gets so hard, and honestly i think from so many years of being misunderstood in my own home has really damaged me mentally, suicidal ideation in adhd is no joke it gets so bad.
If you are a parent with a child with adhd, LISTEN TO THEM
Love their interests, be interested in what they have to offer, love the little facts they tell you, and dont get mad when their emotions may seem alot.
It was these things that my parent neglected that left me struggling to hold on, but hey im trying.
❤
Thank you. I didn’t realize my “neurodiverse” brain until I was almost 30 a few years ago, friends just would said I live on RamZee time or that I’m just sensitive but I have felt all 6 of those negatives and have been struggling pretty bad in my own mind. I always appreciate the actually honesty and legit people just trying to help us get through these “terrible times” you can say. I really do appreciate the content. Keep it up and good luck
thank you for making this video! It really gave me insight into my own life, and my strugels with memory. i was diagnosed in 2nd grade but never really understood it and blamed myself.
Hey there Addison Black,
Thank you for your comment :) I'm so glad you found this video helpful.
Hopefully now that you are beginning to understand yourself and your diagnosis a little better you can stop blaming yourself and start being kind to yourself!
All of these are 100% relatable girl!! We will get there slowly🫶🏼
Thank you for this video💖✨
Hell yes we will! Glad that it's a relatable video, but I hope you're doing okay and these 'dark sides' aren't too heavy for you.
I got diagnosed with combined type at 30 bc it was apparent something wasn’t right and life was piling up and becoming harder to manage. Had to do a qbtest along with my wife filling out some questionnaires, etc and finally getting on the right track. Very surprised tho the qb score I got put me at really severe and scored in the 99th percentile in a category which is nuts lol this is a good highlight on the negative aspect and also tics can be one too.
The creativity aspect is good tho if you can manage to turn all the ideas popping up into something productive. That’s the hardest part I’d say is having a million ideas but having a hard time putting it all together.
Hey Justin - welcome to the late-diagnosis club! I hope that having a diagnosis will help you make the changes you need in your life to improve things, and that you have the support you need to do that :)
Yes to pretty much all of that.
I'm sorry you have to struggle with these things too - but know that you're not alone and things can get better! :)
I'm switching off the heavy stuff, for now. However I just gotta say that I'm glad I stumbled across you, I like you and your format/vibe so..Hi Emily! It's a pleasure for you to meet me! ;) I also have ADHD and look forward to seeing more from you!
Hi there Miles,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. It's perfectly fine if you need to switch off the negative bits for now - you gotta protect your mind!
So glad you like my content :) Please do check back in and say hi again!
great video! so many people are invalidating others' experiences based on those funny videos. but yeah, most of us aren't going to make a video of our darkest moments.
Hey there Haley,
Thank you :) 100%; it's important we give a realistic depiction of what is a disruptive mental-health-issue!
Brave girl…it must have taken so much courage to make this video…
It highlights the pain and despair suffered by so many Adders…
So much more understanding and professional help is need to be put in place…
The worst thing for anyone with any form of mental health issues is finding help from someone who actually understands the problems faced by sufferers, partners and parents etc..
Hi John.
Thank you - I was a little nervous to share some of this stuff, but I think it's important, and knowing that it has helped people to feel less alone is so wonderful.
Thank you for your support of my channel!
ADHD and what I currently assume to be nonbinary-ness destroyed my life. I thought I was like everybody else and couldn't understand why nothing ever worked out. Turns out I was not and only after my ADHD diagnosis I have realised over the last two years that I had no idea who I actually was, most of what I assumed to be my personality seems more like a mask.
Hey there :)
Thank you so much for your comment, and for sharing your story. It sounds like you've had a really rough time of it, but it's encouraging to hear that you are slowly coming to an understanding of why you have been struggling. That understanding is the first step on a journey to making your life better.
We're all rooting for you!
I so relate - Made me feel really emotional listening to you. Someone really understand me. You are amazing!
Thanks Amanda! YOU are amazing too - relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
This has been my whole life. Not one but fun! My life has been hell for years as you get older, I am 43 and could never get my shit together. Always been different. But basically I have failed at life due to too it.
I think because they're both stimulants it can make you feel anxious and jittery - I'm trying to keep it to one coffee a day now...!
Thanks for this, I literally related to every single experience you talked about
Hey there Mark,
I'm glad that you found my video useful - I'm sorry to hear that you find some of the negative aspects of the disorder relatable, but hopefully knowing that you're not alone in that makes you feel supported :)
Humor brings awareness and acceptance. It's done well to get the word out now. It's time to bring in the troubled parts. Everyone around me are either too critical or not critical enough. Those closest to me know to step back and let me do my thing. However, they often don't see when I need constructive criticism until I've lost all sense of direction. I get lost in what I'm doing and where I'm going so easily.
Yes, this is very true. I think a lot of work needs to be done to help people who are neurotypical to understand what ADHDers need and how best to support. Unfortunately that type of content is missing from the TikToks!
You're so brave! Thank you for this video ❤
You're so welcome! Thank you for your supporting my channel :)
Sorry to hear of your struggles, I myself am currently undiagnosed and am awaiting a diagnosis. Am an adult but have struggled with this issue all my life. Pretty certain I have ADHD both my sons have Autism and ADHD have a younger brother with Asperger’s and others in the family who have ADHD. So I understand your perspective yes a lot of UA-cam instagram and TikTok feeds about ADHD are funny and show the lighter side of this condition which can be a good thing. However I agree there is a dark side to it too, I struggle with memory issues and emotional disregulation along with the time management which has caused me problems in my personal and work life.
Good luck with your journey and if possible please go back into teaching we need people in that field that want to be there and also have a personal perspective on special needs kids
Hi there Fire Forger,
Thank you for your comment - I would love to go back into teaching, but right now I need to focus on getting healthy and happy again :) Totally agree that kids need more teachers who are neuro-diverse; representation matters!
I hope that your assessment journey brings you some clarity on your situation and positively improves your mental state - good luck!
@@adhdemily good luck with your journey, wherever this takes you
I can relate to so much of your experience. I used to be a maths teacher, during the day was ok as you were always busy but after the lessons were done and you had to be organised it was a nightmare. My record keeping was virtually non existent and marking and report writing was torture I could never stay on top if it. Did 7 years before calling it a day.
Hiya Sunday162, aaaa - ex-teachers together!
I totally agree, 9 - 3pm I was ON FIRE, being social, being creative, having fun with the kids and getting to hyper-focus on my favourite subject. Outside of those hours I was A MESS. Totally exhausted, overwhelmed, disorganised, emotionally drained. As I said, I genuinely do think I was a great teacher (when I was in front of the kids), and I think my ADHD traits actually made me that way (eg: I was a shameless nerd who managed to persuade my year 10s that gothic literature is cool as). However, the system that teaching exists within (especially in the UK) does nothing to support the wellbeing of its staff, and it is not a workplace which is neuro-diverse friendly.
Honestly you should be so proud that you did 7 years! You will have had such a profound impact on so many young people, and you can't underestimate the learning you went through yourself about what you can and can't do, and the support you need, within the workplace.
I hope you have found a career now that allows you to be yourself and capitalises on your talents!
Emily x
@@adhdemily Yes teaching in the UK is brutal for the expectations and workload. I’m still approached every now and then by former students, just last week in fact by someone in my current workplace I taught 10 years ago, they still remembered my lessons and the music I showed them. It’s been really hard to get past the feelings of failure, but I’m almost there now, 3.5 years it’s taken to work my way up in a new career and match my teaching salary. I work 8-4 in a fast paced office job (no project work, tasks no longer than 1 day) and take nothing home, it is wonderful. I hope you also found greater happiness in your new ventures.
I'm a schoollab-technician. I get to do the fun stuff with the children but I do not have the burden of marking/grading/record-keeping (Well, not to the extends teachers have to, anyway). Love it!!
Thanks so much for this video. It relates to me to a great extent. It's a relief to know you're not alone! 🧡
Thanks Liset! Relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
Thank you for this.
No worries, Paul!
Thank you for saying it, TT's make it look amusing having ADHD. Wish the one with the ADHD thought the same!
Agreed! Although I do laugh at myself from time to time, the rest of the time I am really struggling.
I'm right in that kind of negative tunnel, and listening to your experience helps me to accept it a little more and to tell it to my relatives and teachers so they understand the situation better! Thanks!
I'm sorry to hear that - I know just how hard that can be. Know that there is always hope, and people out there who understand :) I'm so glad my content helped; thanks for watching!
You’ve explained how ive felt numerous times! Thank you
Hi there Margaret,
I'm glad that my video helped you to put into words you experiences. I hope that you aren't currently in that dark place, but if you are, please know that you are not alone :)
Thank you for your honesty. Everything you said is very relatable.
Thanks Carol! relating to these experiences is hard, but the fact that you're here watching this video means you've made it through this far, and you can keep on going! We are all rooting for you. xxx
there are times where i am so hyperactive and distracted and i must fidget that i am literally curled up in a ball, making weird grunts, almost shaking, and i can't see anything because i am distracted and get these vivid images in my brain. it is like really intense daydreaming for me and it is wildly awful. it can go on for hours and i can't do anything about it.
Hey Yulinn.
Totally empathise with your situation; I hope you are getting the help and support you need to help you make steps forward, however small they may be.
Sending hope,
Em x
Thank You for your transparency !! And yes this resonates !!
No worries! Thanks for engaging with my content, it means a lot to know that other people understand and can empathise :) hope you're good!
Going to get a diagnosis this month, really hoping that meds can help me live the life i've always said i want to live, but have sabotaged myself from having so far.
Hey there Solsamsa,
I hope that a diagnosis helps you - you have already made steps towards creating that life you want to live by pursuing that.
I wish you all the luck in the world - we're all rooting for you.
Wow.. thank you for this!
No worries Jakhamah! Thanks for watching :)
ADHD can dismantle your life and efforts.
My last relationship, the one guy I actually fell in love with, was ADHD, but I was never told. I also didn't know that all the traits that were both magical and hateful were a classic symptom of this.
He truly shattered me.
It has been 10 months of him ghosting me because he found something more shiny...and I am still devastated by how COLD he truly is.
I will heal. Will he?
Hi there Meko,
I'm sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience with the dark side of ADHD. Sending my best wishes to you on your healing journey!
I’m sorry to hear what’s happened to you. But trust me there’s plenty of men out there. I get it though I recently got stuck on a girl and only now ~7 months later am I getting out of the funk.
As a guy with ADHD, I’ll say that I have ruined every relationship/potential relationship via my communication falling apart. It even happened with this last girl who was literally perfect to me, she quite literally felt like “my other half.” I’d never connected with anyone, not even my friends, like how I connected with her. But I went from talking to her everyday for 4-8 hours, to responding a few times in a day if she was lucky, seemingly overnight for no particular reason. She thought I lost feelings which was anything but the truth, and eventually she ended it and ghosted me.
I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like I find someone else, or stop liking/loving someone, but it just seems impossible for me to maintain a balance of normal communication long term.
@@johnmoore1495 I am sorry to hear this! Have you tried sharing this with her?
Thanku ❤
i was diagnosed by adhd too when i was on my college. and i really don't know what it is
Stop taking my meds 6 yrs ago and I’m now trying to get back on it to help my future self.
Hi Karss, I hope that you can get the help you need soon. Sending hope to where-ever you are :) Em x
I am 33...I am not sure but I am starting to believe that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I was able to relate to this to a stupid level... Even so I dont move places.... tho at this point I sometimes would love to because I just wanna go somewhere where noone knows me so I can start over... The shame of all the lost and failed job attempts is gigantic and there is so much more, I can not hold any stability in my life not even with small things... sometimes... periodically I can but then Ill be so exhausted from holding my shit together that I collapse again for even longer periods of time... Its such a weird cycle. Idk if this is ADHD or some other issue... but there surely is something not quite right with me....
Hi there DreaminGhost,
Thank you for your comment.
Reading about your experiences it sounds like you've been to some really dark places, and I'm sorry that this has been such a feature in your life. Please know that you're not alone and there are plenty of people who can empathise with your feelings and experiences.
I would suggest you talk to your GP about a potential assessment for ADHD, but that is just one potential diagnosis you could have. It sounds like you could do with some support, so please make sure you talk to someone who is trained to give you the guidance you need to make things better :)
Wishing you all the luck with the journey ahead; we are all rooting for you!
@@adhdemily thank you so much that means alot.
Thank you so much for this video 🥹
No problem Dayawolf7 - thanks for watching :)
I’m 51 and just figured out I’m ASD and ADD. I’m curious. Did you feel meditation helped these negatives? Especially curious about the memory, depression and anxiety
I’m 55 and just finally had diagnosis. It explains so much of my dopamine seeking behaviour, impulsivity, inability to manage money, inability to focus, my exhaustion and depression, my social anxiety. I’m sure meditation would help.
I'm also 51 and have been diagnosed with ASD and ADD 6 month ago. I've been taken ritalin for the last 3 mounts and though I think it is helping me, it's not as effective on me as others describe. It's only helping me a little bit with attention, but I feel that my mood is notably better and weirdly enough, it helps with my autism and anxiety. I was lucky to get a psychiatrist that is an expert in kombined ASD and ADD, and he told me that it is not uncommon to feel that way, even though ritalin should have absolutely no effect on ASD. Or maybe it could be as simple as taking ritalin is helping me lose weight and that helps my diabetes and gives me more energy. It probably also helps knowing that there's a reason why I feel so different and lazy, even though I still feel that way.
Hey WizardKitty23.
So I've been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, dysthymia and clinical depression, and generalised anxiety, but I do not have many ASD symptoms. In terms of whether I think the medication has helped my depression and anxiety I would definitely say that that is my hope! If you watch my video "Starting Concerta XL" on my channel you will see that I believe that my depression and anxiety are likely deeper symptoms of the stress and consequences of my untreated ADHD (eg: struggling to hold down a job because I couldn't complete executive tasks). It is my hope that by treating the ADHD, my depression and anxiety will be alleviated.
Ultimately I'm only on month 2 of my medication journey, but I would definitely say that day-to-day I am feeling a little brighter :) Keep on checking in with my vlogs to see what effects it has for me long-term.
I really hope that you get the support and help that you need to love a happy, full and fulfilling life :) we're all rooting for you! x
heya , diagnosed on spectrum (when i was 20yi am 30y now) . i am a man(relativly smart and highly senstive) . most studies show woman are underdiagonsed , i think it has too do with upbring being more emotianly tuned so and there for better at hiding there symptons("the norm").
so i wanted too talk about the 3de point 4:31 i think this is one of those things that happens because of co-oping. u learn to mask who u are by doing the things u want because they might stand out or are generaly not wanted, or u think they are not wanted, well u know what i am taking about i am sure. i believe what u feel is realy but how u are aware of it is wrong i know its an ugly word but please hear me out i am truly writing this because i think it can help you see a perspective u might not see right now, but for that u need to accept u can be wrong and that it is okay to be wrong, i have been wrong many times in my live and i am glad of the fact i can see that now. so the feeling of it is intense i have also felt it feeling completly crippled, one appionment can take up entire weeks of mental stress, if not more and the prospect of doing it all over aign well...(this is one of many things ofcourse i understand that it is not simple but complex).
i want too point out what i think would have helped me alot when i was think the way u do right now. is it truly the apointment your afraid of or is it yourself? because you think you should behave in a certain way, maby look silly, do something u regret, and so on. i challange u too look not towards the outside but the inside how long have u being stuck in paterns that dont work for you or give you huge amounts of stress. who are u truly and should you be ashamed of that? the treu fear is not that of others but yourself(because you already judge yourself harsly it is more of getting a conformation about the things your inscure about meaning anthing that will confirm that feeling will be devestating and utterly debilitating ) .
too get in touch with your feelings u can try a simple exersise its like getting a base line if u know this u will learn more, take something simple like a rainbow or a bunch of shapes, pick your favorite color or shape. now why did u pick that one? because it felt right ? or because u thought that would be the best one? or maby u cant pick. thing is if u scan over it and it trigges a certain response maby some of the shapes make u happy some sad, those are your emotions. if u are thinking about why and how those are your thoughts. the diffrence is your emotions you feel like touching something with your hand.you create thoughts you hand touching the shape u choose will feel it but your thoughts will anylise it making sense of it all. the thing is your thoughts you can invluance but your feeling are a diffrent story all together u feel what u feel, and only in the moment u know what u feel. too truly show yourself is too be yourself it is the most scary thing there is realy.
take small steps trust those around you let them show your treu color, i see a space shuttle picture in the background i say alot about your personality, one of the biggest drawbacks is being missunderstoodt it can cause you too doubt and feeling missunderstoodt because u are so explain it dont be afraid of it those who truly love you wont reject u for something like this the see your treu nature is kind but also chaotic and that is fine. it just means u are diffrent and u have a right too be ! being too afraid can be crippeling be courageous not for others but yourself.
i hope this helps u if u wanne talk about what i just typed, or explore it more dont hesitate too ask or point anything out
Hi animesadicted! Thank you so much for this comment, what you say is really interesting.
I definitely feel that I don't fully know who I am, and that sometimes my self-doubt and comparison with others can make me feel unfulfilled and depressed. Your suggestion that I get to know myself and my own mind and opinions is totally valid, and something that I am working on.
I'm really glad that this approached helped you :) keep on keepin' on!
Emily
I have no doubt that the consequences of life with undiagnosed ADHD leads to depression. The instability alone is enough to depress anyone. Add the impact of loved ones insisting our struggles are the result of character flaws and deliberate choices. In the worst case, our life teaches us that wed can't trust our own judgement, making us vulnerable to gaslighting and abuse.
I also believe that ADHD leads to suicidal thoughts that aren't so much an outgrowth of depression as they are the result of not being able to come up with a better plan.
Hi there Don,
I'm sorry to hear that you have experiences these dark-sides of ADHD too. I really hope that knowing you're not alone in those experiences brings a little hope and light to your world.
Emily
Let's not forget the 60% of ADHD people who went through addiction. From using drugs as a means to find motivation to getting addicted. Or using drugs as a means to mask guit and shame of lower than expected performance.
Wow! Is it really that high? I suppose that 'addiction' can take many form, not just drug addiction?
I could not focus on this at all
adhd has always been a bad thing , i dont know when this fkng "quirky superpower tiktok" thing begun , wtf is wrong with these people, no ,its a disadvantage, its like saying that because i am blind i can hear thing that others cant , and so i have superpowers , NO , you adapt to survive , and thats it
Hey there Adrianomartinez6231!
Thank you for your comment :) I totally hear where you are coming from! It's a toughie, because I love that ADHD is being talked about more openly and people are learning more about it, but your comment 'you adapt to survive' is very true! I feel like for a very long time I was just thrashing around in the sea of life trying to stop myself from drowning; that wasn't fun or quirky, it was crap.
Hope you are well and keepin' on keepin' on!
Em x
There's a good side to ADHD? c'mon man!
Creativity, fast thinking, crisis management, to name but three?
I agree with Cas below! There are good things about ADHD too - I like how I am always coming up with original ideas, am really great at working under pressure, and am always up for trying new things and going on adventures :) It's not all bad!
There is a dark side of ADHD - Really? I would never have thought that 🙃
Tell me about it!
What’s your job role now.
I work for a charity as a volunteer manager :)
I take it that you are a fire sign. Perhaps Sagittarius. Am I right?
What makes you say that John? I'm a water sign actually - Cancer. I don't know what that means in truth!