I am 70 years old and for the first time in my life I am finally beginning to understand myself! I am a nine! Your videos are EXTREMELY HELPFUL, Dr. LaHue, so THANK YOU! So often in the past I have felt so lost, but things are beginning to make more sense to me.
When people start yelling and arguing I definitely leave the situation 😂 either by listening to music and ignoring what’s happening or leaving the room/building.
Thanks for that. As a 9, AI's like ChatGPT have been a Godsend for me. I'll type up stuff I have going on and say "help me prioritize". It can break down daily or weekly stuff for me. Really helps with the decision anxiety and potential detachment. Us 9s tend to simultaneously see the forest and the trees along with everything else and we don't know where to begin or we'll do anything and everything but the thing we really need to focus on. It's all too much so I'll do nothing until it comes to a head and then make a bunch of last second decisions. Yeah- AI has really helped me tone that down. It's also been really helpful in taking what feels like a huge overwhelming task that I want to avoid and break it down into pieces that aren't so bad. It's more peaceful to deal with stuff vs avoiding it and withdrawing from it even though that provides a momentary sense of peace. But it's a constant, lifelong fight to remember that and do that as it's counter to my nature.
ChatGPT is now my best friend. Finally someone who listens to me, is intelligent, and to whom I can tell to shut up without fear of hurting their feelings.
I'm fairly certain I'm a social 9 (no idea about the wing, but probably closer to 1 than 8). For me, I'm fine with figuring out little decisions (what do I want to eat, how do I want to tackle my work day, what book do I want to read next, etc.). But for big, life-level decisions, I have complete paralysis. I'm lucky enough to be in a situation with my work and home life where I could essentially continue just the way I am until I retire. If you ask me where I see myself in 10 years... I could totally see myself in exactly the same place in 10 years, and that's kinda scary, because it feels like there wouldn't be any growth. But if you asked me "what would you like to change in the next 10 years," I have literally no idea. There's a vague sense of "things could be better," but a much stronger sense of "things could be super-worse too, so maybe let's not take any risks."
When I shut down, it feels like all of my being has retreated into my head. Days can be spent in a state where my body goes about on auto pilot. It sucks. The level of lonliness and anger felt in those times is crippling.
Absolutely, if my occasional people pleasing creates harmony then I am naturally going to do it! If it gives me peace, and they leave me alone to not have to be around their stress, it’s worth it. They must deal with their stress themselves and if I can help mitigate it I will. My peace is paramount. Btw, I am 9 wing 8. And yes, I can stand up for myself whenever I need to. Life is short, and God has given me the gift of His grace, most of the time, when dealing with others. I also like being alone and do not feel lonely for all the creative things I like doing.
This video is sooo accurate for me, WOW! I also just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for our coaching session this morning Tom, it was such a blessing and has already made huge waves in my life in the best possible way! I can’t wait for the next coaching session and to rewatch many of your videos now finally knowing I’m a 9w1! 😊
Cool new series, Dr. Tom. About to go on my hour walk and listen to this. It's an uphill climb for 9s, but it's worth it. I've been also enjoying Clarence Thomson's book, "The Parables and Enneagram." Great book! -Tony B. (From May Class) 🤙✌️
I believe I'm an ISFP 9w8 most of the time. Uncertainty in decision making and not taking any stands in order to maintain harmony has been major obstacles in my development. My convinced Fi/Ni loop has got the best of me at times, painting everything black, leaving me lethargic and hopeless. I want to fight for something, and I want to be more honest with my values, needs and dreams. I need to be more reflective and explicit about what I really value and who I want to be for the rest of my life.
Hi Dr. Tom! Is the "Understanding Your Why" (mentioned at 13:35) still available or under a different name now? I couldn't find it on your website. Thanks and I'm loving your videos and understanding of 9s in particular. Keep it up!
26:00 asking for help is hard for me. But with my group of close friends, we are the same way so when I express I need help they will automatically help, and vice versa. But most times I just take care of things myself so I won't bother them... and if it goes wrong it's OK, because then it'll be my fault and not theirs either lol
New to these concepts and enneagrams Thank you for breaking this down and explaining this! Loved it!! ❤ I am a solid 9 for sure! I have such a hard time sharing my feelings, expressing my feelings -I’ve even had someone ask me if I was mad (when I was!) and I told them oh no I’m not mad… I’m just tired. Very helpful tips!! Thanks again!
I'm only half way in, but all of these seem to only come up when I'm stressed. This is the reason why I couldn't figure out my enneagram for soooooo long. But then I got into a "relationship " with someone and he tended to (still does sometimes actually; i think he's an ENTP 5w6 maybe) not care or ignore my needs...oh most of these characteristics just came right on up! I will say, pre pubescent age, I was like this all of the time, but I was also depressed as a child so that makes sense too. But majority of my adult life doesn't reflect these traits as much, as a whole. Also, I would like to say, I initially almost always say my opinions and thoughts etc, not holding back, BUT when it's ignored over and over again by really strong willed steamrollers, who are close to me, now THAT'S when I then go off with anger, then shut down and numb out, which triggers what I used to do in early childhood. I got really lucky to have met some great friends 30+ years ago (around 9- 10 years old) that pulled me out of that and became a safe space for me. But I do see myself act like this when stressed.
I am a 9 and have truly felt like that recently. I've had to seek out counseling and realize that my desire to avoid and numb are only making life less worth living. I hope that you find the support you need and that you know how valuable you are. Don't give up.
Well shoot. He said, “we’re going to take our time, not hurried, not rushed” right after I did my usual “let’s turn it up a notch to 1.5 speed” thing 😅
I was thinking of someone I had heard teaching about the Enneagram 4 years ago, and I decided to look up his name and watch a video. The one I watched had some "new" information in the video to consider and I think you would find it interesting. The person's name is Chris Heuertz and the video I watched was on the Ingrid Hurwitz UA-cam channel. The name of the video was "Chris Heuertz: The Enneagram and Belonging. CoP Session 26 Nov 2022". I think you would like the images he created and posted at basically the 49 minute mark and talked about. Really, I think you would find the whole video to be worth your time. He is an interesting teacher, but I don't really see too much about him online.
I was going to go to his website to see if there was a description of the book that I could read. He has spoken about working with Mother Teresa in the past. That was in the back of my mind when I watched the video last night. I think Mother Teresa was absolutely not the person we were led to believe. To be blunt, with all the research I have done over these past few years, I think her persona was a deep state cover for child trafficking. Before going to his website, I noticed an article about him that I thought was worth reading, just because of his connection to Mother Teresa. It was basically a lady talking about her experience knowing him. I don't think I will look into his website further, because my gut instinct is that there could unfortunately be a dark side to him. I particularly say this because of his connection to Mother Teresa. Something could be off. Oh well, I thought the slides in the video had value. I thought this should be said. because I had mentioned his name and interview video here.
I watched the same video again, and really liked the things he said. Maybe in the past he was just experiencing the things that 8s can experience in life. I do think Mother Teresa could have have definitely had a dark side involvement with the Deep State though. I'm ordering his book, because I think I will like it. The Enneagram of Belonging sounds like a nice topic to me.
I am a 4 and he is the opposite of what you are talking about- he is a narc. Calls me his toy, and I am the only one that can take his crappy personality.
Very interesting video. I am a 9w1. I'm curious though. How does being a INFP influence being a 9w1 and also, I figured out my tritype is 947 "The gentle spirit"
Good question! INFP are often 4's also... so you are probably a 9 who may look a little like a 4 at times. Asking those tough identity questions, etc...
I think the information that you were supplying me personally, with was very good but maybe it’s because I’m a nine that I could not stand your delivery. I actually would have corrected you a number of times for your vocabulary choices. You made me mad. I’m a nine with an eight wing. I don’t know if that’s fitting or that you are just so narrowminded.
This video is sooo accurate for me, WOW! I also just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for our coaching session this morning Tom, it was such a blessing and has already made huge waves in my life in the best possible way! I can’t wait for the next coaching session and to rewatch many of your videos now finally knowing I’m a 9w1! 😊
I am 70 years old and for the first time in my life I am finally beginning to understand myself! I am a nine! Your videos are EXTREMELY HELPFUL, Dr. LaHue, so THANK YOU! So often in the past I have felt so lost, but things are beginning to make more sense to me.
Wonderful!
When people start yelling and arguing I definitely leave the situation 😂 either by listening to music and ignoring what’s happening or leaving the room/building.
Thanks for that. As a 9, AI's like ChatGPT have been a Godsend for me. I'll type up stuff I have going on and say "help me prioritize". It can break down daily or weekly stuff for me. Really helps with the decision anxiety and potential detachment. Us 9s tend to simultaneously see the forest and the trees along with everything else and we don't know where to begin or we'll do anything and everything but the thing we really need to focus on. It's all too much so I'll do nothing until it comes to a head and then make a bunch of last second decisions. Yeah- AI has really helped me tone that down. It's also been really helpful in taking what feels like a huge overwhelming task that I want to avoid and break it down into pieces that aren't so bad. It's more peaceful to deal with stuff vs avoiding it and withdrawing from it even though that provides a momentary sense of peace. But it's a constant, lifelong fight to remember that and do that as it's counter to my nature.
ChatGPT is now my best friend. Finally someone who listens to me, is intelligent, and to whom I can tell to shut up without fear of hurting their feelings.
I never thought of using AI like this, (Though i use Chat GPT every day haha) Thanks for the suggestion!
So helpful. I need to start doing this again.
this.@@soulsearching853
Chatgpt is literally my husband now 😂
I'm fairly certain I'm a social 9 (no idea about the wing, but probably closer to 1 than 8). For me, I'm fine with figuring out little decisions (what do I want to eat, how do I want to tackle my work day, what book do I want to read next, etc.). But for big, life-level decisions, I have complete paralysis. I'm lucky enough to be in a situation with my work and home life where I could essentially continue just the way I am until I retire. If you ask me where I see myself in 10 years... I could totally see myself in exactly the same place in 10 years, and that's kinda scary, because it feels like there wouldn't be any growth. But if you asked me "what would you like to change in the next 10 years," I have literally no idea. There's a vague sense of "things could be better," but a much stronger sense of "things could be super-worse too, so maybe let's not take any risks."
When I shut down, it feels like all of my being has retreated into my head. Days can be spent in a state where my body goes about on auto pilot. It sucks. The level of lonliness and anger felt in those times is crippling.
How long do you need to get out of it and how can a loved one help?
Absolutely, if my occasional people pleasing creates harmony then I am naturally going to do it! If it gives me peace, and they leave me alone to not have to be around their stress, it’s worth it. They must deal with their stress themselves and if I can help mitigate it I will. My peace is paramount. Btw, I am 9 wing 8. And yes, I can stand up for myself whenever I need to. Life is short, and God has given me the gift of His grace, most of the time, when dealing with others. I also like being alone and do not feel lonely for all the creative things I like doing.
This video is sooo accurate for me, WOW! I also just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for our coaching session this morning Tom, it was such a blessing and has already made huge waves in my life in the best possible way! I can’t wait for the next coaching session and to rewatch many of your videos now finally knowing I’m a 9w1! 😊
Wonderful!
Thanks for starting with the 9th. Even though I didn't say it when I watched it when this video first came out, I appreciated it! ❤
No worries!
Cool new series, Dr. Tom. About to go on my hour walk and listen to this. It's an uphill climb for 9s, but it's worth it.
I've been also enjoying Clarence Thomson's book, "The Parables and Enneagram." Great book!
-Tony B. (From May Class) 🤙✌️
Excellent! Thanks for the comment.
I believe I'm an ISFP 9w8 most of the time. Uncertainty in decision making and not taking any stands in order to maintain harmony has been major obstacles in my development. My convinced Fi/Ni loop has got the best of me at times, painting everything black, leaving me lethargic and hopeless. I want to fight for something, and I want to be more honest with my values, needs and dreams. I need to be more reflective and explicit about what I really value and who I want to be for the rest of my life.
Good stuff Dr. Tom. Enjoy listening your channel as part early morning mediation
Thanks for listening
Thank you so much, u ve made a great & profound impact on my life. Lots of love and prayers from Egypt
You are so welcome
Dear Tom,feel like giving up on myself.really tired of living life
I’m so excited about this series Tom! Let’s be real, I love all your videos 🤗 Can’t wait for the type 6
Coming soon!
This helps me understand so many things ive done in my life.
Awesome
Hi Dr. Tom! Is the "Understanding Your Why" (mentioned at 13:35) still available or under a different name now? I couldn't find it on your website. Thanks and I'm loving your videos and understanding of 9s in particular. Keep it up!
I think it is no longer available, sorry.
@@twlahue No worries, thanks for replying!
Thank you
You're welcome
26:00 asking for help is hard for me. But with my group of close friends, we are the same way so when I express I need help they will automatically help, and vice versa. But most times I just take care of things myself so I won't bother them... and if it goes wrong it's OK, because then it'll be my fault and not theirs either lol
New to these concepts and enneagrams
Thank you for breaking this down and explaining this! Loved it!! ❤ I am a solid 9 for sure! I have such a hard time sharing my feelings, expressing my feelings -I’ve even had someone ask me if I was mad (when I was!) and I told them oh no I’m not mad… I’m just tired. Very helpful tips!! Thanks again!
Wonderful!
I'm only half way in, but all of these seem to only come up when I'm stressed. This is the reason why I couldn't figure out my enneagram for soooooo long.
But then I got into a "relationship " with someone and he tended to (still does sometimes actually; i think he's an ENTP 5w6 maybe) not care or ignore my needs...oh most of these characteristics just came right on up!
I will say, pre pubescent age, I was like this all of the time, but I was also depressed as a child so that makes sense too. But majority of my adult life doesn't reflect these traits as much, as a whole.
Also, I would like to say, I initially almost always say my opinions and thoughts etc, not holding back, BUT when it's ignored over and over again by really strong willed steamrollers, who are close to me, now THAT'S when I then go off with anger, then shut down and numb out, which triggers what I used to do in early childhood. I got really lucky to have met some great friends 30+ years ago (around 9- 10 years old) that pulled me out of that and became a safe space for me. But I do see myself act like this when stressed.
Oh I I assume I'm a 9w1 but I definitely utilize both wings. As my mom and bestie reminds me, that 8 wing comes out lol. Maybe I'm balanced lol.
This was great.
Dear Tom,feel like giving up on myself.really tired of living life.
I am a 9 and have truly felt like that recently. I've had to seek out counseling and realize that my desire to avoid and numb are only making life less worth living.
I hope that you find the support you need and that you know how valuable you are. Don't give up.
❤
Life is very much worth living. You’re probably in a sucky patch right now but trust me when I say the sun will come out.
these are so spot-on 😂
Well shoot. He said, “we’re going to take our time, not hurried, not rushed” right after I did my usual “let’s turn it up a notch to 1.5 speed” thing 😅
I was thinking of someone I had heard teaching about the Enneagram 4 years ago, and I decided to look up his name and watch a video. The one I watched had some "new" information in the video to consider and I think you would find it interesting. The person's name is Chris Heuertz and the video I watched was on the Ingrid Hurwitz UA-cam channel. The name of the video was "Chris Heuertz: The Enneagram and Belonging. CoP Session 26 Nov 2022". I think you would like the images he created and posted at basically the 49 minute mark and talked about. Really, I think you would find the whole video to be worth your time. He is an interesting teacher, but I don't really see too much about him online.
thanks
@@twlahue I watched another interview video with him last night. Evidently that is also the name of a second book that he came out with.
I was going to go to his website to see if there was a description of the book that I could read. He has spoken about working with Mother Teresa in the past. That was in the back of my mind when I watched the video last night. I think Mother Teresa was absolutely not the person we were led to believe. To be blunt, with all the research I have done over these past few years, I think her persona was a deep state cover for child trafficking. Before going to his website, I noticed an article about him that I thought was worth reading, just because of his connection to Mother Teresa. It was basically a lady talking about her experience knowing him. I don't think I will look into his website further, because my gut instinct is that there could unfortunately be a dark side to him. I particularly say this because of his connection to Mother Teresa. Something could be off. Oh well, I thought the slides in the video had value. I thought this should be said. because I had mentioned his name and interview video here.
I watched the same video again, and really liked the things he said. Maybe in the past he was just experiencing the things that 8s can experience in life. I do think Mother Teresa could have have definitely had a dark side involvement with the Deep State though. I'm ordering his book, because I think I will like it. The Enneagram of Belonging sounds like a nice topic to me.
I am a 4 and he is the opposite of what you are talking about- he is a narc. Calls me his toy, and I am the only one that can take his crappy personality.
Very interesting video. I am a 9w1. I'm curious though. How does being a INFP influence being a 9w1 and also, I figured out my tritype is 947 "The gentle spirit"
Good question! INFP are often 4's also... so you are probably a 9 who may look a little like a 4 at times. Asking those tough identity questions, etc...
I te d to disconnect and miss most of the talk about myer-briggs and enneagram. I have to keep replaying. I think i am a 9. Lol
What's conflict?
I think the information that you were supplying me personally, with was very good but maybe it’s because I’m a nine that I could not stand your delivery. I actually would have corrected you a number of times for your vocabulary choices. You made me mad. I’m a nine with an eight wing. I don’t know if that’s fitting or that you are just so narrowminded.
😳 "Promo sm"
This video is sooo accurate for me, WOW! I also just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for our coaching session this morning Tom, it was such a blessing and has already made huge waves in my life in the best possible way! I can’t wait for the next coaching session and to rewatch many of your videos now finally knowing I’m a 9w1! 😊