Oh my, I can’t believe how true this is. All this happened to me, I thought it was me !! Thank you this is the best video I’ve heard. I was right all along, I just found out too late.😞 Now I’m educated it will never happen again. 😉👍
@@wendyhannan2454 All happened to me too and to late for me also. However, the narc nearly caught me into his web again, playing with my mind, giving me false hope, ( that little bit of Bread crumb act) picking me up, dropping me down and playing with my emotions! Something in my head was telling to search something, I didn’t know what in the beginning, but then, I found Andrew. And thank god I did! Light bulbs were going off in all different directions. After watching many videos, I knew I had to take control before he did. (Cos we all know the narc loves total control) so I did just that! Took the control, cut off all supply from him, even thou still in the same house. Now, its only the forward path for me. Move, get settled, live my life being me. I can’t thank Andrew enough 🙂 he saved me from getting into that web again! Thank you Andrew, your a star ⭐️
This guy is the ‘NarcWhisperer’ Every Single Word he speaks is spot on…Listening to Every Video I’m constantly thinking ‘It’s like this Guy is Narrating my life with a Narc for the past 4 years….I could Never put my finger on exactly what she was until l found these video’s…All of a sudden Everything makes sense….Thank you Andrew
There has always been an internal struggle between the heart and the brain. However, after listening to your words of wisdom, there's no doubt that the brain outweighs the heart. Thank you for that! 🙏
This is exactly what happened to me, it was after the dump I became aware of what I had been in! what I had been going through! During the time with the narc, I was diagnosed with breast cancer... this is where I got many of the treatments like the silent, ghost blatant lies etc worst period in my life. Will have nothing more to do with this creature ever again!!
Oh,Andrew this is exactly what happened to me!!! I wish i had followed my instincts a 1000 times over but i am a empath and I wanted to believe everything i was feeling in my heart and I did not want to believe it. The dog is great... I love to see that smile on your face and can tell you are whole.. so proud of you and I cannot wait until I am there.. but i am on my way thanks to you... Have a great night.
One of the hardest comments I got from the ex was that everyone says he is a totally different person now that I'm not around. Totally insinuating that I was the problem. I just told him 'that's good' and left it even though it murdered me inside. He knew exactly what to say. 🤮
Amazing how strong the affirmation this is. I just came out of a narcissistic relationship. Three weeks now. Thankfully I dumped him. I didn’t realize that he was a narcissist. But he was constantly making me feel that I am worthless and that I am nothing to him when I have given and sacrificed so much for him. Andrew your videos help someone like me to realize who I am and what I went through. The damage is huge, but I realize that I am strong and resilient. Thank you for all you do.
Educating myself has been a big deal for me. Early on in my relationship with the narc, I would start asking, like you say, "Is it me?" and other similar things in response to her actions. My gut was telling me something was off but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I effectively gaslighted myself for a long time until the light-bulb moment. It wasn't an easy thing to swallow but I've been educating myself ever since and I'm grateful to channels like this for helping me. Thanks again!
Hi I know exactly how you feel. I questioned myself for over 2 years wondering , did that just happen , is it me am I to blame. Most of time I know tge answer that it really wasn't me ( I'm far from perfect ) but this was insane and I was goingb insane. I have had a few issues and wobbles hearing that shes going on all these lovely holidays tgat she makes everyone aware of which in turn comes back to me. I see her in passing and she looks so miserable and put on so much weight she was always borderline alcoholic even though she said she never had a problem. Driving your son to school whilst still drunk is a problem whichever way you look at it. I know I was right and you were too my friend. Although I've wobbled a few times shes just toxic and will never be happy or be happy for anyone else
EXACTLY!! I’m lucky that we didn’t have a ton of time invested into the relationship - just 4 months + 2 months of talking & texting prior. I kept thinking I was the one responsible for triggering him. Then I tried hard to stop responding to his rants/rages. When I did that, he started to breadcrumb/gaslight/devalue me. After being on my own for 24 years, I sure as heck didn’t need all this UNNECESSARY DRAMA in my life. My gut started screaming at me to GET OUT! As Andrew says, “Trust your instincts!” EVERY ONE OF US IS ENOUGH! We CAN and WILL survive our time on “the hamster wheel” and find the path that is NARC-FREE!! Yea!!! 😁❤️❤️😁✌️
You are 1000% right! Wish I could have heard this message 4 years ago. Isolation, gas lighting, devaluing, verbal and physical abuse. No sleep and trying to act normal and functioning at work takes a huge toll over time. You know what you should do, but have no one to call, no way out….so you stay. Until like you said there’s not much of you left. And you feel them moving further away every day. I am away now and getting stronger every day!! So incredibly thankful for you and your message! You are touching people, please keep doing what you are doing ❤️
Andrew, I only listen to people like you who have been through narcissistic abuse, if you haven’t been there people just don’t understand, its such a lonely journey. I needed to know this 55 years ago, I’ve had five of these people in my life, there will never be another one ☝️ I now see people for who they are. Thank you dear Andrew.
Those days we never knew what a narcissistic was. We sat and took all the pains and suffering through the years But thank u for your time. You absolutely nailed it in all your videos. Thanks
I remember feeling dizzy most of the time when around ex, and I didn’t understand why, but I do now!! They have such a dark cloud around them that it’s so sick! Run as faster you can away from that toxic one as soon as you can if you want your peace and sanity!!! Runnnnn! Don’t hesitate, don’t doubt!
Andrew it is actuality SCARY every topic you give is a example, wisdom ....I lived through them. Shocking scary, the movie night that ALWAYS ended in friction and conflict. On his cellphone or sleeping-bored to death. He is also addicted to tablets, the more I confronted him or stood up for myself the more he indulged in tablets. Thank the Lord that chapter in my life is now closed. Worst nightmare
Thank you Andrew!💜💜💜 We operate at the soul level via the heart. Narcissists operate only through ego. This is what made things so difficult for me to understand. How could anyone be so heartless, insincere, fraudulent, and yes EVIL? Yes. We were right because we operate with integrity, honor, faithfulness. They operate through manipulation, fear, bullying, deception. This behavior is so foreign to us that our heads spin. Doggies always love Empaths!!! Love you Andrew!!!
I work for a narcissist Director. I have applied for jobs , I need my income. I feel helpless and depressed waiting to find a new job and get out of this situation. I have started to question myself and is it me. My co-worker are being hovered and my office is filled with new and old flinging monkey. I am trying to hang on mentally. Thank you so much.
All I knew was it was mind games and crazy making. Had no knowledge of narcs...just everything was VERY wrong in the relationship. I was sick all the time....my body knew the truth. BTW: Love yellow labs! ❤ Thanks so much for taking the time to create community of healing and hope.
Hi Andrew. From the moment I met him I knew something was off but chose to ignore it and give him the benefit of the doubt. So many little red flags along the way and my gut feeling got stronger that I was actually right ...he was batsh*t crazy.
I second what Val said. My ex would literally call me "batsh*t crazy" when I reacted emotionally to his poor behavior. The narcs are the crazy ones, not us.
I’m glad I listened to this again. Everything you are saying is true and exactly what happened. Update, I’m starting to get my things out of his house so I feel like I’m getting a little of my power back 👍
I constantly questioned myself. The narc created that. After therapy, I've learned, I'm not perfect, but this was no relationship. It's not healthy, it was evil and the reason why it didn't work, was because of the narc. They were the defective one, my instincts were correct, there's something wrong with them, it's not us.
It is wonderful to be removed finally from this insanity. I would say please be aware in the future of the little voice in your head early on in a relationship and know that it is not you, but their poor attempt of trying to hurt the super empath. If you are on this channel and have commented, you are one badass and congratulations to you. You are now in control. Please spend the rest of you life loving yourself first and always. The rest will come.
I always felt "less than" with this one. Like maybe there was something wrong with me and that's why he would disappear for days, lie, give me silent treatment, ignore me when out in public. I now know it was not ME, it was HIM.
I was a trophie wife. He used me for my money and to take care of the house, feed him, do his wash, cook and clean, and do and agree with everything he said and did without complaining. Until the mask came off. Then I woke up. But it took over 30 years to happen. And I end up looking crazy. Especially after he got our daughter to put me in a mental ward for hallucinating. Be careful everyone. They will do anything to destroy you. And my daughter wants to know why I can’t forget the past and move on. Yes, I moved on. But I will never forget what they did to me.
I met a one on line a few months before Christmas just past and he appeared charming at first, there was one photo out of many on fb of him and it crossed my mind he was a dark soul. Then he took a selfie at the cemetery with a garland of flowers around his head and sent me the photo 🤔☹️ he was there to lay flowers for his wife who had died four years before on that day. He was older and I thought stable, then when I said I liked him I got ghosted for a month, just recently had a hoover but I know what he is. Thank God I had the sense not to meet too early
Healing from Narcissistic abuse is difficult and it takes time. It seems impossible at first Finally I accepted that I fell in love with an illusion. , a mirror image of myself , that I was deceived. The Narcissist has no good will inside of them. No mercy. You never know who this is you’re dealing with. It’s some kind of demon. The good news I found out as a human being I have the power. I am authentic. I am able to humble myself and I can chose between right and wrong. And so much more. 🙂.
Although his drinking was a huge issue I know now what I saw went much deeper. His addiction to deception directly involved others and indirectly affected me. The need to deceive kept accelerating and finally turned almost exclusively to me especially after he retired and eventually I became his #1 goal to destroy someone. His wife - the one he spent decades observing, studying and seeing how much I could take. Every little victory for him was HUGE. When I started to ask questions-. DISCARD. Sadly He has a new hamster now.
Great video, Andrew! Love the yellow lab! It likes you! Glad I watched this one today! I was a little upset this morning. Waking up and praying for help and guidance. Seeing that dog, your smile and, your reaction made me laugh and smile. I needed that. Thankful For You and all You do for the community 🙏
Once again, this is spot-on. Thank you Andrew. God bless you and everyone in here. That's exactly how the whole movie scenario went with me. And I never thought about it before but his fits of rage did keep me under his control. I was scared to death, walking on eggshells trying to keep him happy. Impossible.
Yes, they only do with you what they want. Then, they do nothing with you. Such destructive lowlife. The further you get away the more clear the picture becomes to you. That picture, that horror story, was unbelievable and the biggest pain and loss in my entire life. ✝️☮
Peace and blessings to all who read this. You really are all warriors and I am not alone because of you! Thank you, Andrew, for your spirit and message in every video. All the work you put into this channel. For creating this safe space to learn and heal together, and this amazing collective that you've manifested. Bless you. Namaste 🙏
That is crazy accurate. It’s exactly how it was! And it’s always about the new supply, the shiny new toy behind the scenes. Can you imagine what we didn’t know, what really went on behind our backs. Ughhhh.
Thank you for your video Andrew. I always remember thinking to myself, something is missing here, something's not right. Then there could be a nice morning or afternoon but it was Never Ever consistent. I knew in a few weeks into the devaluing stage that this sick abusive degenerative was indeed cheating on me my gut instinct was crying out to me. I'm so glad we have this channel Andrew as it really helps and I also have great faith because we empaths empower each other. Lisa
even my family knew "something" was wrong but just thought he was abnoxious and I was "crazy about him" that I acted weird, not myself, when he was home. I didn't even know how wrong it really was until dr treating ny stomach ulcers asked me about my life and marriage he said "that's not normal not ok you need to get out and get help" I went to domestic abuse councilor and the light started coming in. " coercive control, gaslighting, abuse, crazy making, blame shifting etc. omg I'm not crazy I am being abused" relief, grief, and first rays of hope that getting free may actually be possible. 4 years later my children and I are out. Thank God we got out just before pandemic. lots of other traumas happened since but being sage and away from him we can go through and survive anything now.
Powerful. This video is huge. Im always shocked at how we all went through similar scenarios. I feel strong today. I feel loved today. I feel me today. This video is going to speak directly to so many people that are in a narcissistic relationship right now!!
Blessed the day found your channel Andrew👍. Meant to be light, all the times I requested him to take me fishing well now there was always an excuse 😂 like the fish are too small
The most hurtful thing they ever did was to make you doubt yourself or feel less than you truly are , it's so incideous that they can distort your reality and truth !! The only real compensation is know how frustrated and angry they must have been when the penny finally dropped that they couldn't do that anymore 🤔😆💪🙏
Oh woooow... all is so true!! Every simple life detail was controlled and manipulated just because his pleasure! But now I can see the things automatically!! Boom! Things going to change baby!!
You are so accurate. I have experienced everything that You have related. It sickens me as I think back. I've been out for almost 15 months....yet it feels like Yesterday.
I think educating yourself and forgiving yourself is the keys to moving on. I could never understand why he was the way he is. My mental suffered terribly when I was with him. Always had me thinking everything was my fault when in all reality it was him.
Your example about the movie is EXACTLY what would happen. If I ever chose a movie or a show I liked, he would get on his phone or seem annoyed. My therapist has helped me see how much I deserve better. How unhealthy he was and I how hard I tried to keep peace. Thank you Andrew!
Another great video Andrew!! Yes, we were right all along!! We knew all along we were being lied to, tricked and duped because our body told us this. It was screaming out to us the truth of what we were experiencing, but we ignored it. I noticed my gut, my body became louder and louder in telling me the truth as time went on. I think the problem is that it is alien to us that someone could be lying to us, that much that it's most of the time. Its unimaginable to us. In hindsight for me personally I realised his lying was 100% of the time. The whole relationship was fictitious. I realised my gut instinct was totally right, my in build lie detector was right every time. Over time I got verification of this. I didn't need to quiz him, he inadvertently told on himself. Everything about the relationship became unreal, being in his presence just became pointless as it felt like a lie. The exchange was empty and phoney. It was a dead exchange. I felt like I was just going through the motions with him, because I could by then read him, and feel the insincerity and deception tangeably in the room. Of course it validated that I'd been right about him all along. I dont think you can go back to being naive and believing of ppl after that. I find my gut radar goes off in many situations nowadays with other ppl too. It's like I can feel out a liar at 20 paces!! I can hear word salad, blame shifting or gaslighting so clearly in other random ppl and of course it's a big red flag to steer clear. Which is a good thing!! 😊😊👍👍 pathological lying is such a strong foundational component of narcissism. As an empath we look for the good in ppl, and dismiss these inconsistencies, we give the narc the benefit of the doubt, until we just cant anymore. Game over. My biggest take away from that awful relationship is to be in tune with my gut instinct far more, and believe what my body is telling me about a person.
Wow you’ve summed up exactly how I felt in my relationship with the Narc , It was hollow and pointless and like you said he often told on himself , Makes me sad thinking of how much I gave of myself to a void . thanks for sharing 👍
You are right on the money in your post!! I lived in cognitive dissonance for so long, ignoring my intuition. Because I wanted to be wrong!! I didn’t want to believe he was as deceitful and evil as I knew somewhere deep inside. So I pushed it down-ignored it-even pretended for years that it was good! That he was good-that he loved me! But as you said, your body doesn’t lie. The emotional pain and sickness eventually caught up, manifesting itself into real physical pain, sickness, illness, etc. Only then did I educate myself, and face and accept what I already knew was true. The damage is done though. I know I’ll never be the same as I was before. Now I’m just focusing on trying to live! To survive! Trying to heal what I can, and make peace with the stuff that I can’t. ☹️
This son of a B knew exactly what he was doing. OMG! I never want to think of those horribly years. But he had fun and he enjoyed seeing me cry and sad.
You are a beautiful person Andrew and you have helped me out so much to realise what I was really living with ..you didn’t deserve what you went through either but because of this you are healing people now❤️
Excellent...!!! The look on her face when I asked, “are you happy”... and the response she gave me when I told her that I was tired of TOLERATING HER BEHAVIOR...priceless
Bear 🐻 hugs 🐻 God Bless 🙌 Thank you for the Empowerment!!! The last Discard for me was February 26th 2022.. ended up homeless and living my SUV with my 22 year old cat! Thank God for Emathic gifts! Finally got settled in to an apartment August 4th 2022. As an addition worker Education I knew paths to take but because of People like you your Chanel!! I am no longer on the Hamster Wheel!! Thank you
OMG!! My gut feeling was right all along! After a couple of times of getting the silent treatment over basically nothing,, many times I use think .. is it me? No, it’s not me.. is it? My head use to be spinning! Then when the silent treatment was over. ( sometimes lasting a week) he just carried on like nothing had happened. Not stopping to think what damage he was doing. Then other disturbing behaviour followed after the silent treatment started. Once again, thank you for sharing. 🙂x
I have had soo many issues logging into bank accounts or any other important websites my passwords never worked while I had them all neatly written down in my little notebook that I casually left on my desk, now I suspect my narcissist may have been throwing a wrench in the works and now I'm changing all my passwords and pin codes.
Andrew. Thank again I thot I was crazy. 3yrs I'm gna b ok n betr than I ever was I do have love for God n He is in my heart. Nurture n grow my connection. He listens. Jus look up. I'm grateful for. You Andrew
Your likely support system is the Narc's family, friends, hangers on. When I started educating myself one of the hardest things was "I was right, my intuition was spot on" and then forgiving myself for not doing anything about it. Your videos have REALLY helped the entire process of healing. Thank you, Andrew!!!
Omg omg you have beautiful dogs 🐕 omg they are gorgeous they will be your best friends forever trust them more than people they have souls that heal yours
If there's one thing I have learned through all this is to LISTEN TO MY INSTINCTS from now on. Listen to those gut feelings when things feel a little off, all those seemingly little things that don't quite make sense or add up..Listen, Mindy, listen! Jiminy Christmas, all the times I felt all those little twinges that I couldn't quite make sense of, those feelings of unease. I was right, in the end, because as time went on those odd feelings of discomfort turned into pretty strong suspicions ...which, in the end, proved I was indeed right all along. You know, I didn't even know what gaslighting was while in the relationship, but after I ended things I began to google his behavior, and the day I learned what gaslighting actually sounded like and looked like, I was floored! I was like, "omg, he was doing that sh-t to me all along!" Wow!! 😠 So yeah, one of the biggest things I learned was to really listen to those gut feelings. Even if you have no "proof", still, listen, and get out of it. Life's too short to waste years on someone who does these things to you. Other fish in the sea. And yes, I was right!! Great video.
I loved hearing I was right! Can’t hear that enough! For some reason things you spoke about kept making me remember the times that the N tried and I let him succeed in stealing my joy. If I got or did anything that made me happy and feel elated, he would snatch that joy right out of me. He’d tell me how much he didn’t like or wasn’t impressed with or said I Shouldn’t have done that or wasn’t in favor of what I bought or received and I actually let him succeed in taking my joy. At least I realized that this was unusual and discussed it with my therapist and he said oh yes he’s trying to steal your joy. It’s actually something that’s been studied. Who knew???
Thank you so much for all of your videos, especially this one. I’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for 27 years. So many scary rages, so much manipulation, verbal abuse, control, gaslighting, all of it. Through a lot of therapy and inner growth these past couple of years I finally know it’s called narcissism. Tomorrow I’m picking up paperwork from a lawyer to begin getting divorced. It’s a huge step for me. 😊 I still have so much healing to do, I still wonder sometimes “is it me?” even though I know in my mind it isn’t me. So this video is really helpful. I’m filled with gratitude for all of your videos and for your words of hope and inspiration. Thank you so very very much.
You are right. :) The years of my suffering, all the experience was for a reason. That is what I am thinking now. The years of suffering were so terrible. I felt that something is not right, just did not understand WHAT. I felt alone, lost, hurt and insane :( I started to research a few years ago online, what is wrong with me? Then I felt sorry for myself, but in a while, I understood, I must do something about it. Videos like this gave me back MYSELF!!!! I keep watching because every time I learn something new - educate myself. I have my college studies in social care, and I can share now my experience without fear. I am not insane and alone. :) :)
Being educated by your experiences on narcicism is the best education one could ever have. I am so empowered by your words of comfort that we are not the crazy ones. Dealing with a delusional person can truly mess up our minds but in fact we are right all along. We really gotta protect ourselves from now on because it takes so much toll on every aspects of our lives. Thanks Andrew, you're my go to for every day motivation and reminder to never again put up with such deceitful people 😊✨❣️
This is so, so true. We ignore the red flags because it's easier just to comply. In a parental narcissistic relationship you're trained from day 1 to do as you're told. Your whole life is on the hamster wheel until you break. I've found many people in this kind of relationship,, end up with conditions like ME, CFS or Fibromyalgia because of the relentless stress on the body and mind. We are enough. And it's time for self care and self love now. 🙏🏻
Andrew I have goose bumps as I listen to you because I felt this way for many years . I was sooo lost !! Walking around in a fog and tolerating all this pain and trauma. Thank you Andrew for opening my eyes. Yes I was right the entire time. I knew something was terribly wrong. I felt sooo lost and so alone.
They make the empath feel crazy and unsure with all the gaslighting and games.
Absolutely correct 💯💯
It make you ill!!
So true!!!
Oh my, I can’t believe how true this is. All this happened to me, I thought it was me !! Thank you this is the best video I’ve heard. I was right all along, I just found out too late.😞 Now I’m educated it will never happen again. 😉👍
@@wendyhannan2454 All happened to me too and to late for me also. However, the narc nearly caught me into his web again, playing with my mind, giving me false hope, ( that little bit of Bread crumb act) picking me up, dropping me down and playing with my emotions! Something in my head was telling to search something, I didn’t know what in the beginning, but then, I found Andrew. And thank god I did! Light bulbs were going off in all different directions. After watching many videos, I knew I had to take control before he did. (Cos we all know the narc loves total control) so I did just that! Took the control, cut off all supply from him, even thou still in the same house. Now, its only the forward path for me. Move, get settled, live my life being me. I can’t thank Andrew enough 🙂 he saved me from getting into that web again! Thank you Andrew, your a star ⭐️
My heart breaks for ALL who have gone through this madness. 💔
Tired of the madness and being isolated. I am now healing and thinking clearly.
It’s such a relief to be removed from all the nonsense! Now just living each day as it comes in peace. ❤️
Agree completely Susan..💯🙏🙌☀️
Peace is the word!
Indeed 👍 Ms. Lina, Indeed!
The resulting shame, built mirroring, the gaslighting. My journey to NO contact. Overwhelming!!, And so relieved. The weight gets lighter everyhour. .
This guy is the ‘NarcWhisperer’ Every Single Word he speaks is spot on…Listening to Every Video I’m constantly thinking ‘It’s like this Guy is Narrating my life with a Narc for the past 4 years….I could Never put my finger on exactly what she was until l found these video’s…All of a sudden Everything makes sense….Thank you Andrew
There has always been an internal struggle between the heart and the brain. However, after listening to your words of wisdom, there's no doubt that the brain outweighs the heart. Thank you for that! 🙏
You're very welcome🙌😉💯
I knew...intuition, and low self confidence. I ignored every red, red flag.
It's the narcissist who forces you to doubt yourself. Yes, every single thing they do is designed to destroy you. Love to all victims. X
This is exactly what happened to me, it was after the dump I became aware of what I had been in! what I had been going through! During the time with the narc, I was diagnosed with breast cancer... this is where I got many of the treatments like the silent, ghost blatant lies etc worst period in my life. Will have nothing more to do with this creature ever again!!
Oh,Andrew this is exactly what happened to me!!! I wish i had followed my instincts a 1000 times over but i am a empath and I wanted to believe everything i was feeling in my heart and I did not want to believe it.
The dog is great... I love to see that smile on your face and can tell you are whole.. so proud of you and I cannot wait until I am there.. but i am on my way thanks to you... Have a great night.
❤adorable dog. They are si therapeutic
Very Blessed Andrew , Thank You 😊🤗💖🏞🏝
One of the hardest comments I got from the ex was that everyone says he is a totally different person now that I'm not around. Totally insinuating that I was the problem. I just told him 'that's good' and left it even though it murdered me inside. He knew exactly what to say. 🤮
😌💯🙏
Amazing how strong the affirmation this is. I just came out of a narcissistic relationship. Three weeks now. Thankfully I dumped him. I didn’t realize that he was a narcissist. But he was constantly making me feel that I am worthless and that I am nothing to him when I have given and sacrificed so much for him. Andrew your videos help someone like me to realize who I am and what I went through. The damage is huge, but I realize that I am strong and resilient. Thank you for all you do.
Eternally grateful to you for this education and keeping us informed 🙏🏿🌈🙏🏻💞🙏🗝🙏🏽🕊
Educating myself has been a big deal for me. Early on in my relationship with the narc, I would start asking, like you say, "Is it me?" and other similar things in response to her actions. My gut was telling me something was off but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I effectively gaslighted myself for a long time until the light-bulb moment. It wasn't an easy thing to swallow but I've been educating myself ever since and I'm grateful to channels like this for helping me. Thanks again!
Welcome always 💯🙏🙌
Hi
I know exactly how you feel. I questioned myself for over 2 years wondering , did that just happen , is it me am I to blame.
Most of time I know tge answer that it really wasn't me ( I'm far from perfect ) but this was insane and I was goingb insane.
I have had a few issues and wobbles hearing that shes going on all these lovely holidays tgat she makes everyone aware of which in turn comes back to me.
I see her in passing and she looks so miserable and put on so much weight she was always borderline alcoholic even though she said she never had a problem. Driving your son to school whilst still drunk is a problem whichever way you look at it.
I know I was right and you were
too my friend. Although I've wobbled a few times shes just toxic and will never be happy or be happy for anyone else
Ditto 👍♥️
Agree
EXACTLY!! I’m lucky that we didn’t have a ton of time invested into the relationship - just 4 months + 2 months of talking & texting prior. I kept thinking I was the one responsible for triggering him. Then I tried hard to stop responding to his rants/rages. When I did that, he started to breadcrumb/gaslight/devalue me. After being on my own for 24 years, I sure as heck didn’t need all this UNNECESSARY DRAMA in my life. My gut started screaming at me to GET OUT! As Andrew says, “Trust your instincts!” EVERY ONE OF US IS ENOUGH! We CAN and WILL survive our time on “the hamster wheel” and find the path that is NARC-FREE!! Yea!!!
😁❤️❤️😁✌️
You are 1000% right! Wish I could have heard this message 4 years ago. Isolation, gas lighting, devaluing, verbal and physical abuse.
No sleep and trying to act normal and functioning at work takes a huge toll over time.
You know what you should do, but have no one to call, no way out….so you stay. Until like you said there’s not much of you left. And you feel them moving further away every day.
I am away now and getting stronger every day!!
So incredibly thankful for you and your message!
You are touching people, please keep doing what you are doing ❤️
Thank you KDg.. I appreciate your kindness and sharing this 💯🙏🙌☀️
I agree. It's like you are dead inside. No energy, no Joy, no hopes, nothing left to give.
Yes Andrew must continue on his educating the public, they I turn can warn someone else. Save someone else. 🙏💯
They love to sleep deprive because it makes you easier to control and they get narcissistic supply off seeing you weakened.
Andrew, I only listen to people like you who have been through narcissistic abuse, if you haven’t been there people just don’t understand, its such a lonely journey. I needed to know this 55 years ago, I’ve had five of these people in my life, there will never be another one ☝️ I now see people for who they are. Thank you dear Andrew.
Thank you. For taking care of us. We love you
I had so many sleepless nights!!! I’d lay there trying to figure it all out! Not understanding. You are amazing Andrew!
Those days we never knew what a narcissistic was. We sat and took all the pains and suffering through the years
But thank u for your time. You absolutely nailed it in all your videos. Thanks
It wasn't your fault u just didn't know like thousands of us.
I appreciate your honesty and kindness thank you Vrijmati..🙏🙏💯💯🙌🙌
Yup it's not easy living with a MONSTER 👹💀
As always Brother thank you so much for talking to us 🙏
I remember feeling dizzy most of the time when around ex, and I didn’t understand why, but I do now!! They have such a dark cloud around them that it’s so sick! Run as faster you can away from that toxic one as soon as you can if you want your peace and sanity!!! Runnnnn! Don’t hesitate, don’t doubt!
I appreciate your insight Madeline 💯🙏🙌😉
Andrew it is actuality SCARY every topic you give is a example, wisdom ....I lived through them. Shocking scary, the movie night that ALWAYS ended in friction and conflict. On his cellphone or sleeping-bored to death. He is also addicted to tablets, the more I confronted him or stood up for myself the more he indulged in tablets. Thank the Lord that chapter in my life is now closed. Worst nightmare
Thank you Andrew!💜💜💜
We operate at the soul level via the heart. Narcissists operate only through ego. This is what made things so difficult for me to understand. How could anyone be so heartless, insincere, fraudulent, and yes EVIL?
Yes. We were right because we operate with integrity, honor, faithfulness. They operate through manipulation, fear, bullying, deception. This behavior is so foreign to us that our heads spin.
Doggies always love Empaths!!!
Love you Andrew!!!
Thank you for sharing this Linda 💯🙏🙌😊😉
Brilliant analogy Linda
I couldn’t agree more with everything you said!!! (Even the comment about the dog!♥️)
lol ...yes...his dog loved more than him
I work for a narcissist Director. I have applied for jobs , I need my income. I feel helpless and depressed waiting to find a new job and get out of this situation. I have started to question myself and is it me. My co-worker are being hovered and my office is filled with new and old flinging monkey. I am trying to hang on mentally. Thank you so much.
You are my support system now Andrew!
For 17years I thought it was me. Thank you for helping me understand. I'm learning to love me and put me first.
Welcome Denise 😉🙌🙏
All I knew was it was mind games and crazy making. Had no knowledge of narcs...just everything was VERY wrong in the relationship. I was sick all the time....my body knew the truth.
BTW: Love yellow labs! ❤
Thanks so much for taking the time to create community of healing and hope.
TRUST your intuition! LISTEN to the still small voice!
Wish I could have told myself that!
Thanks Andrew. You are very encouraging!
Thank you Pat..💯🙏🙌🙌
PREEEEEAAAAAAAAACH!!! Love you man, thank you. PEACE.
Hi Andrew. From the moment I met him I knew something was off but chose to ignore it and give him the benefit of the doubt. So many little red flags along the way and my gut feeling got stronger that I was actually right ...he was batsh*t crazy.
This exactly
I second what Val said.
My ex would literally call me "batsh*t crazy" when I reacted emotionally to his poor behavior. The narcs are the crazy ones, not us.
I understand completely.. I do 🙏💯🙌😉
Yep they ALL are and need to be put in straight jackets cause theu dont stop gets worst with time truly hellbent on satans work and they ALL know it
The narcs ARE batsh*t crazy and I doubt there's any coming back from that. That's just who they are. Nutbars.
I’m glad I listened to this again. Everything you are saying is true and exactly what happened. Update, I’m starting to get my things out of his house so I feel like I’m getting a little of my power back 👍
I constantly questioned myself. The narc created that. After therapy, I've learned, I'm not perfect, but this was no relationship. It's not healthy, it was evil and the reason why it didn't work, was because of the narc. They were the defective one, my instincts were correct, there's something wrong with them, it's not us.
Beautiful insight Stephen 💯🙌🙏💪
It is wonderful to be removed finally from this insanity. I would say please be aware in the future of the little voice in your head early on in a relationship and know that it is not you, but their poor attempt of trying to hurt the super empath. If you are on this channel and have commented, you are one badass and congratulations to you. You are now in control. Please spend the rest of you life loving yourself first and always. The rest will come.
🙌💯🙏
Thank you, Andrew!
✌️❤️🩹😊🌞
🙏😌🙌
I always felt "less than" with this one. Like maybe there was something wrong with me and that's why he would disappear for days, lie, give me silent treatment, ignore me when out in public. I now know it was not ME, it was HIM.
😉😉💯💯
We didn't have the education...I never seen people this mean in my whole life...I want to help more people myself..you do a great job..
@Ardyce Elayne - agree.
Thank you Ardyce 💯🙌🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone ❣
MY HEAD WAS SPINNING REALLY FAST🍊🍊🍊💛
Andrew, you should do a video on how the narc never answers a simple question
You too...its just another way to devalue. They were a hard way to learn self respect. Once and done.
Thats a great suggestion 👌
Thank you Val.. I can certainly look into this 💯🙌🙏
I either got a bald face lie for an answer or a word salad to justify his actions.
When your isolated and a newlywed you are in a fog….eggshells, yelling, anger, rage, his ego…I couldn’t believe he was so evil.
I understand Lorraine..💯🙌🙌
Yes it's like they rip a mask off. I am still affected by the first time I saw this.
I was a trophie wife.
He used me for my money and to take care of the house, feed him, do his wash, cook and clean, and do and agree with everything he said and did without complaining.
Until the mask came off. Then I woke up.
But it took over 30 years to happen.
And I end up looking crazy.
Especially after he got our daughter to put me in a mental ward for hallucinating.
Be careful everyone.
They will do anything to destroy you.
And my daughter wants to know why I can’t forget the past and move on.
Yes, I moved on.
But I will never forget what they did to me.
I hear you loud and clear!
I met a one on line a few months before Christmas just past and he appeared charming at first, there was one photo out of many on fb of him and it crossed my mind he was a dark soul. Then he took a selfie at the cemetery with a garland of flowers around his head and sent me the photo
🤔☹️ he was there to lay flowers for his wife who had died four years before on that day. He was older and I thought stable, then when I said I liked him I got ghosted for a month, just recently had a hoover but I know what he is. Thank God I had the sense not to meet too early
You are amazing Andrew. You are keeping me going. Thank you 😊
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
YES! Thank you!
You are so welcome!🙏🙌💯
Healing from Narcissistic abuse is difficult and it takes time. It seems impossible at first Finally I accepted that I fell in love with an illusion. , a mirror image of myself , that I was deceived. The Narcissist has no good will inside of them. No mercy. You never know who this is you’re dealing with. It’s some kind of demon. The good news I found out as a human being I have the power. I am authentic. I am able to humble myself and I can chose between right and wrong. And so much more. 🙂.
Beautiful message Free Spirit 💯🙌🙏
I’m a new follower and you’ve already given me such clarity on these monsters
Thank you
Although his drinking was a huge issue I know now what I saw went much deeper. His addiction to deception directly involved others and indirectly affected me. The need to deceive kept accelerating and finally turned almost exclusively to me especially after he retired and eventually I became his #1 goal to destroy someone. His wife - the one he spent decades observing, studying and seeing how much I could take. Every little victory for him was HUGE. When I started to ask questions-. DISCARD. Sadly He has a new hamster now.
Thank you for sharing this Mary.. 💯🙏🙌💯
Great video, Andrew! Love the yellow lab! It likes you! Glad I watched this one today! I was a little upset this morning. Waking up and praying for help and guidance. Seeing that dog, your smile and, your reaction made me laugh and smile. I needed that. Thankful For You and all You do for the community 🙏
Once again, this is spot-on. Thank you Andrew. God bless you and everyone in here. That's exactly how the whole movie scenario went with me. And I never thought about it before but his fits of rage did keep me under his control. I was scared to death, walking on eggshells trying to keep him happy. Impossible.
Thank you Andrew another home run out of the park you're the best!
Welcome Donna 💯🙌🙏
Wow the path of less resistance! That's exactly what I did! I'm forgiving myself for such an injustice to myself!
😉💯💯
I have no tolerance for a narc now!
Yes I am alone,with me and my daughter.we are alone.i am God is with me.
🙏🙌💯
YES, all of us were and ARE right!
💪💯
So much thanks and love. Love to everyone who was manipulated. That yellow lab! Love the doggo.
🙌😉😌☺️
I always knew it wasn't me, I just didn't have a name for his disorder.
💯🙏🙌🙌
Lol love the Lab 😊 and Thank you for these videos 🌸
This gave me chills, Andrew. Exactly how it was.
Thank you Kay..😉😉💯💯
Yes, they only do with you what they want. Then, they do nothing with you. Such destructive lowlife. The further you get away the more clear the picture becomes to you. That picture, that horror story, was unbelievable and the biggest pain and loss in my entire life. ✝️☮
💯💯💯
Peace and blessings to all who read this. You really are all warriors and I am not alone because of you! Thank you, Andrew, for your spirit and message in every video. All the work you put into this channel. For creating this safe space to learn and heal together, and this amazing collective that you've manifested. Bless you. Namaste 🙏
Thank you Andrew.
That is crazy accurate. It’s exactly how it was! And it’s always about the new supply, the shiny new toy behind the scenes. Can you imagine what we didn’t know, what really went on behind our backs. Ughhhh.
Exactly 😳😳😉😉
Oh my gosh, I can’t even try to think about it
Ya, and that's what angered me the most. I questioned myself instead of them, instead of trusting my intuition.
Thank you for your video Andrew. I always remember thinking to myself, something is missing here, something's not right. Then there could be a nice morning or afternoon but it was Never Ever consistent. I knew in a few weeks into the devaluing stage that this sick abusive degenerative was indeed cheating on me my gut instinct was crying out to me. I'm so glad we have this channel Andrew as it really helps and I also have great faith because we empaths empower each other. Lisa
Welcome always Lisa..😊💯🙏
YES!!!!! 20 years I knew something was seriously wrong but I thought it was me and he sure said it was me and treated me like it was me
even my family knew "something" was wrong but just thought he was abnoxious and I was "crazy about him" that I acted weird, not myself, when he was home. I didn't even know how wrong it really was until dr treating ny stomach ulcers asked me about my life and marriage he said "that's not normal not ok you need to get out and get help" I went to domestic abuse councilor and the light started coming in. " coercive control, gaslighting, abuse, crazy making, blame shifting etc. omg I'm not crazy I am being abused" relief, grief, and first rays of hope that getting free may actually be possible. 4 years later my children and I are out. Thank God we got out just before pandemic. lots of other traumas happened since but being sage and away from him we can go through and survive anything now.
Thank you for sharing this Melissa 💯🙌🙏
Powerful. This video is huge. Im always shocked at how we all went through similar scenarios.
I feel strong today. I feel loved today. I feel me today. This video is going to speak directly to so many people that are in a narcissistic relationship right now!!
Beautiful Teshla..💯🙏🙌😊
thank you for your help
Blessed the day found your channel Andrew👍. Meant to be light, all the times I requested him to take me fishing well now there was always an excuse 😂 like the fish are too small
Wonderful message... loved the lab! 🥰🦮
The most hurtful thing they ever did was to make you doubt yourself or feel less than you truly are , it's so incideous that they can distort your reality and truth !! The only real compensation is know how frustrated and angry they must have been when the penny finally dropped that they couldn't do that anymore 🤔😆💪🙏
💯💯💪💪
Oh woooow... all is so true!! Every simple life detail was controlled and manipulated just because his pleasure! But now I can see the things automatically!! Boom! Things going to change baby!!
You are so accurate.
I have experienced everything that You have related. It sickens me as I think back.
I've been out for almost 15 months....yet it feels like Yesterday.
The narc is an alien life form. They live in a perverse reality.
I understand Nancy 😉🙌🙏💪
Now I know. Never again. There everywhere!!!!
I'm just waiting for the next one so I can give them a little GFY and let me help you out.
I think educating yourself and forgiving yourself is the keys to moving on. I could never understand why he was the way he is. My mental suffered terribly when I was with him. Always had me thinking everything was my fault when in all reality it was him.
Educating ourselves is the path..💯🙌
Your awesome,,
Your example about the movie is EXACTLY what would happen. If I ever chose a movie or a show I liked, he would get on his phone or seem annoyed.
My therapist has helped me see how much I deserve better. How unhealthy he was and I how hard I tried to keep peace.
Thank you Andrew!
Welcome Judith 😊😉🙌💪
its been 6 tears today since i started dating the narc and still till this day i think of how sick this individual was
Another great video Andrew!! Yes, we were right all along!! We knew all along we were being lied to, tricked and duped because our body told us this. It was screaming out to us the truth of what we were experiencing, but we ignored it. I noticed my gut, my body became louder and louder in telling me the truth as time went on. I think the problem is that it is alien to us that someone could be lying to us, that much that it's most of the time. Its unimaginable to us. In hindsight for me personally I realised his lying was 100% of the time. The whole relationship was fictitious. I realised my gut instinct was totally right, my in build lie detector was right every time. Over time I got verification of this. I didn't need to quiz him, he inadvertently told on himself. Everything about the relationship became unreal, being in his presence just became pointless as it felt like a lie. The exchange was empty and phoney. It was a dead exchange. I felt like I was just going through the motions with him, because I could by then read him, and feel the insincerity and deception tangeably in the room. Of course it validated that I'd been right about him all along. I dont think you can go back to being naive and believing of ppl after that. I find my gut radar goes off in many situations nowadays with other ppl too. It's like I can feel out a liar at 20 paces!! I can hear word salad, blame shifting or gaslighting so clearly in other random ppl and of course it's a big red flag to steer clear. Which is a good thing!! 😊😊👍👍 pathological lying is such a strong foundational component of narcissism. As an empath we look for the good in ppl, and dismiss these inconsistencies, we give the narc the benefit of the doubt, until we just cant anymore. Game over. My biggest take away from that awful relationship is to be in tune with my gut instinct far more, and believe what my body is telling me about a person.
I appreciate you sharing this insight Amanda.. thank you 💯🙏🙌😊💪
Wow you’ve summed up exactly how I felt in my relationship with the Narc , It was hollow and pointless and like you said he often told on himself , Makes me sad thinking of how much I gave of myself to a void . thanks for sharing 👍
You are right on the money in your post!! I lived in cognitive dissonance for so long, ignoring my intuition. Because I wanted to be wrong!! I didn’t want to believe he was as deceitful and evil as I knew somewhere deep inside. So I pushed it down-ignored it-even pretended for years that it was good! That he was good-that he loved me!
But as you said, your body doesn’t lie. The emotional pain and sickness eventually caught up, manifesting itself into real physical pain, sickness, illness, etc.
Only then did I educate myself, and face and accept what I already knew was true. The damage is done though. I know I’ll never be the same as I was before. Now I’m just focusing on trying to live! To survive! Trying to heal what I can, and make peace with the stuff that I can’t. ☹️
Incredible video Andrew
Thank you 🙏😌🙌
This son of a B knew exactly what he was doing. OMG! I never want to think of those horribly years. But he had fun and he enjoyed seeing me cry and sad.
Yep. Sick sob's.
Sending prayers and positive energy 💯🙌🙏
The fact is I knew I was right but could not face it and more I took I started to hate myself
You are a beautiful person Andrew and you have helped me out so much to realise what I was really living with ..you didn’t deserve what you went through either but because of this you are healing people now❤️
Thank you Linda.💯🙌😊🙏
Great video! Nothing dramatic about the truth. Loved the special guest that showed up 🐶 Namaste
Namaste 🙏
Excellent...!!!
The look on her face when I asked, “are you happy”... and the response she gave me when I told her that I was tired of TOLERATING HER BEHAVIOR...priceless
Thank you for sharing this Jeffrey 💪🙏🙌
Bear 🐻 hugs 🐻 God Bless 🙌 Thank you for the Empowerment!!! The last Discard for me was February 26th 2022.. ended up homeless and living my SUV with my 22 year old cat! Thank God for Emathic gifts! Finally got settled in to an apartment August 4th 2022. As an addition worker Education I knew paths to take but because of People like you your Chanel!! I am no longer on the Hamster Wheel!! Thank you
Exactly correct and on point. Each day is a day to heal and grow. And to win the day. Thank you as always.
Absolutely correct 💯💯
OMG!! My gut feeling was right all along! After a couple of times of getting the silent treatment over basically nothing,, many times I use think .. is it me? No, it’s not me.. is it? My head use to be spinning! Then when the silent treatment was over. ( sometimes lasting a week) he just carried on like nothing had happened. Not stopping to think what damage he was doing. Then other disturbing behaviour followed after the silent treatment started. Once again, thank you for sharing. 🙂x
I have had soo many issues logging into bank accounts or any other important websites my passwords never worked while I had them all neatly written down in my little notebook that I casually left on my desk, now I suspect my narcissist may have been throwing a wrench in the works and now I'm changing all my passwords and pin codes.
I don't want to be around that monster! I wish I would have never met them!
Andrew. Thank again I thot I was crazy. 3yrs I'm gna b ok n betr than I ever was I do have love for God n He is in my heart. Nurture n grow my connection. He listens. Jus look up. I'm grateful for. You Andrew
Thank you 🙏🙌😊
Your likely support system is the Narc's family, friends, hangers on. When I started educating myself one of the hardest things was "I was right, my intuition was spot on" and then forgiving myself for not doing anything about it. Your videos have REALLY helped the entire process of healing. Thank you, Andrew!!!
Welcome Jayne..🙌🙏💯
Omg omg you have beautiful dogs 🐕 omg they are gorgeous they will be your best friends forever trust them more than people they have souls that heal yours
If there's one thing I have learned through all this is to LISTEN TO MY INSTINCTS from now on. Listen to those gut feelings when things feel a little off, all those seemingly little things that don't quite make sense or add up..Listen, Mindy, listen! Jiminy Christmas, all the times I felt all those little twinges that I couldn't quite make sense of, those feelings of unease. I was right, in the end, because as time went on those odd feelings of discomfort turned into pretty strong suspicions ...which, in the end, proved I was indeed right all along. You know, I didn't even know what gaslighting was while in the relationship, but after I ended things I began to google his behavior, and the day I learned what gaslighting actually sounded like and looked like, I was floored! I was like, "omg, he was doing that sh-t to me all along!" Wow!! 😠 So yeah, one of the biggest things I learned was to really listen to those gut feelings. Even if you have no "proof", still, listen, and get out of it. Life's too short to waste years on someone who does these things to you. Other fish in the sea. And yes, I was right!! Great video.
Same!!!!
Beautiful progress 💯🙏🙌💪
Wow, i actually said these words to my ex narc during our relationship. "Let me know when i do something right "
I loved hearing I was right! Can’t hear that enough!
For some reason things you spoke about kept making me remember the times that the N tried and I let him succeed in stealing my joy. If I got or did anything that made me happy and feel elated, he would snatch that joy right out of me. He’d tell me how much he didn’t like or wasn’t impressed with or said I
Shouldn’t have done that or wasn’t in favor of what I bought or received and I actually let him succeed in taking my joy. At least I realized that this was unusual and discussed it with my therapist and he said oh yes he’s trying to steal your joy. It’s actually something that’s been studied. Who knew???
I appreciate you sharing this C.C. 💯🙏🙌💪
Another great video. They keep getting better and better. I’m learning so much Andrew. Thanks 👍
Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much for all of your videos, especially this one. I’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for 27 years. So many scary rages, so much manipulation, verbal abuse, control, gaslighting, all of it. Through a lot of therapy and inner growth these past couple of years I finally know it’s called narcissism. Tomorrow I’m picking up paperwork from a lawyer to begin getting divorced. It’s a huge step for me. 😊 I still have so much healing to do, I still wonder sometimes “is it me?” even though I know in my mind it isn’t me. So this video is really helpful. I’m filled with gratitude for all of your videos and for your words of hope and inspiration. Thank you so very very much.
Welcome Kim..💯🙏🙌😊
take care of u, big hug
You are right. :) The years of my suffering, all the experience was for a reason. That is what I am thinking now. The years of suffering were so terrible. I felt that something is not right, just did not understand WHAT. I felt alone, lost, hurt and insane :( I started to research a few years ago online, what is wrong with me? Then I felt sorry for myself, but in a while, I understood, I must do something about it. Videos like this gave me back MYSELF!!!! I keep watching because every time I learn something new - educate myself. I have my college studies in social care, and I can share now my experience without fear. I am not insane and alone. :) :)
Thank you for sharing this Sanita..💯🙌🙏
Being educated by your experiences on narcicism is the best education one could ever have. I am so empowered by your words of comfort that we are not the crazy ones. Dealing with a delusional person can truly mess up our minds but in fact we are right all along. We really gotta protect ourselves from now on because it takes so much toll on every aspects of our lives. Thanks Andrew, you're my go to for every day motivation and reminder to never again put up with such deceitful people 😊✨❣️
Welcome 🙏
I love ❤️ your dogs 🐕
This is so, so true. We ignore the red flags because it's easier just to comply. In a parental narcissistic relationship you're trained from day 1 to do as you're told. Your whole life is on the hamster wheel until you break. I've found many people in this kind of relationship,, end up with conditions like ME, CFS or Fibromyalgia because of the relentless stress on the body and mind. We are enough. And it's time for self care and self love now. 🙏🏻
Thank you Wendy.. I appreciate your insight.. this is our time 💯🙏🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 💞
Andrew I have goose bumps as I listen to you because I felt this way for many years . I was sooo lost !! Walking around in a fog and tolerating all this pain and trauma.
Thank you Andrew for opening my eyes. Yes I was right the entire time.
I knew something was terribly wrong. I felt sooo lost and so alone.