Sometimes people aren’t worth getting back. There’s a reason why people with narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, multiple personality disorder can’t keep a relationship. It’s likely not you, it truly is them. They’re the one with major issues, not you. Allow yourself to go through the grief of heartbreak and move on. The only person you can control is yourself. Focus on making yourself better, so when the time is right that special someone can bless your life with a healthy and loving relationship.
I really did loose my person (4year relationship and she dumped me) , she was a giant piece of my life. I’ve been in no contact for 10 weeks now, changed my number (job related), new email address, moved to a new place and got a new car, I don’t have social media so I have no idea what’s she is up to and I’m sure she can’t reach out to me since all this happened in NC, I’m doing the workbooks daily, have a therapist, taking meds and doing the work but honestly It’s helping me heal from childhood trauma but my dreams and moments I have nothing going on I find myself focused and completely lost without her. But still trying and keeping hope alive.
Sorry to tell you this , but she was never just " your person " ,she was only your turn.Nobody "owns" anybody else and this thinking of being " the one " stems from a " scarcity mindset ". Have an abundance mindset to correct this.
@@terrycraig6386Omg, that’s excellent advice. Like, 100%. That “he or she is the ONE” is a mind trap that I shared majority of my life. The best thing in the world is internal peace. No one should have such an ability to ruin that. These relationships become like a drug as if without them we suffer and are dieing to have another moment or hit of the ONE. I’m going through a break up right now. It sucks but these vids help. And everyone’s comments too. Appreciated.
Sounds like you are doing an amazing job. These relationships in life are here to grow us. It sounds like you are becoming an even better human. You’ve made some major transitions as well with job/relocating. All that takes time to jell. I’m also embarking on a break up of around the 4-5yrs, long distance. It hurts like hell but I refuse to let it take me down. I choose to rise even in the hurt. Relationships have become my greatest life teacher for evolving into better versions of myself. If we allow it. Sounds like you absolutely are. Stay strong.
I relate to your situation a little. When I broke up with my ex (or really she made the final decision I just left), I changed numbers, email, deleted my socials, and stopped going to the places we used to visit. I really have no idea what she’s doing and how she is. I think it’s for the best sometimes because it really does force you to work in your own wounds and healing
I lost my ex because of insecurity, but after truly working on myself for about 10 months, I see my ex is seeing someone who not only looks like me, but also has similar interests and talents, that’s not only super disheartening, but kind of slimy, like I’ve taken the time in no contact to truly change who I am and here you rubbing this new person in my face when I did nothing but respect her and leave her alone. :(
Ditto. Insecurity sucks but it stems from within so healing and becoming a more secure balanced woman is a result of my break ups and in particular this current one. Coupled with the inner work. Interesting that they look like you etc. Nothing replaces the real deal, it’s a counterfeit in a sense. I do fear this is what will happen for my ex too. But if that’s the case then, I know, he’s not for me. Good to know. Hopefully, it will help me move on. I don’t have social media which helps too. It’s freeing.
This same shit is happening to me too! Same exact thing!! She looks like me, has the same essence as me, which is super weird cuz I am not cookie cutter in any way. I’m kind of an odd ball eccentric type. He found my doppelgänger and claims he has moved on from me because he has her 😢
@@Miswhitness0520 hey, if it makes you feel any better, he is 100 percent in a rebound, and he’s trying, keyword TRYING to replace you but he never will, don’t let that get you down, you are wonderful, unique, and he can never replace you, I actually pity him because remember that it’s a rebound and he’s just trying to fill the void that you left, I don’t care how happy he looks, please remember that it’s all a fantasy, I hope you are doing ok!
@@yaarisminko8228 Game is basically strategy and you must master this and master negotiating what you want in life. Unfortunately just from the language you use and the energy you have, you’re emitting a lot of loser energy…
The truth is some people use others for whatever reason. And when they have enough of you, they will just dumb you, I tolerated it so much because I thought she was the one, but boy, was I wrong. Some women are just nasty. She tried to ruin my life, stay away from these people.
I'm an avoidant but even i understand that theres work in a relationship. You gotta be aware of how your words and actions affect the other. Whats meant by there shouldnt be work is that it shouldnt feel like work. Relationships are supposed to be fun. But when it starts to feel like work outside of your 9-5 then no wonder attachment styles come up.
@@ZemohcWell, you said it yourself you are avoidant. I am not here to fix you but reflect of what you said and think “relationships are supposed to be fun” ….. Do you expect yourself to entertain relationship all the time? No conflict? No money problem? No eating problem? No sex problem? No health problem? Isn’t it similar to unrealistic expectations set up?
@MC-MC888 Hmmm. How do I say this? Something can be hard work and still be fun. You might think being a roofer in the middle of June isn't fun. But there are those who do think it's fun. It's all about a good dynamic and what works. Trucking is/was hard work. Lots of driving. But I got to see the country. Coast to coast. Which made it fun.
Still no contact for almost 2 yrs. I am okay now. I already accepted the fact he loose me. I am just thankful God saves me and i know he has better plan for me.
No such thing as the one. There are just people you’ll like more than others. Use it as a learning experience. I made so many mistakes post-breakup. No contact helped reset things and then I made some mistakes again. After telling me she loves me, she pulled away and said we should just be friends. I told her I can’t pretend to be her friend. In the end I think I chased her too much. Then again, someone that actually wants you and is interested is going to stop running at some point. So I just don’t think she was interested anymore. Regardless, I hope that I’ve become secure enough that it will work out with the next woman. And that shes hotter, kinder, and more successful lol. Then this will all be a blessing in disguise. P.S. Avoidants will cause people to think they’re the “one” but they’re not. And you likely wouldn’t be happy with them long term anyway
Coach my ex and I basically told each other we loved each other and that we haven’t felt as strongly with anyone else before. She had a “rebound” after me so idk if I believe this. You’d think if you still weren’t over a person like that, you’d reach out to them and want to work it out. However, she told me she thinks that chapter is closed for good and that she doesn’t think things would ever work again. It crushed me inside. She’s avoidant. I don’t get how Avoidants will run from those they love most. It’s not logical I know, but it also doesn’t seem emotionally sound either.
@@Champman543 yeah, was planning on asking her beginning of this year. We was together 10 years since college had some issues with jobs and moving along the way but that was always the goal
If my ex wife put no protection order not to see her will she come back, we have 2 kids together and she works and makes her own money and lives with her mom that also supports her
Sometimes people aren’t worth getting back. There’s a reason why people with narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, multiple personality disorder can’t keep a relationship. It’s likely not you, it truly is them. They’re the one with major issues, not you. Allow yourself to go through the grief of heartbreak and move on. The only person you can control is yourself. Focus on making yourself better, so when the time is right that special someone can bless your life with a healthy and loving relationship.
I really did loose my person (4year relationship and she dumped me) , she was a giant piece of my life. I’ve been in no contact for 10 weeks now, changed my number (job related), new email address, moved to a new place and got a new car, I don’t have social media so I have no idea what’s she is up to and I’m sure she can’t reach out to me since all this happened in NC, I’m doing the workbooks daily, have a therapist, taking meds and doing the work but honestly It’s helping me heal from childhood trauma but my dreams and moments I have nothing going on I find myself focused and completely lost without her. But still trying and keeping hope alive.
Sorry to tell you this , but she was never just " your person " ,she was only your turn.Nobody "owns" anybody else and this thinking of being " the one " stems from a " scarcity mindset ". Have an abundance mindset to correct this.
@@terrycraig6386Omg, that’s excellent advice. Like, 100%. That “he or she is the ONE” is a mind trap that I shared majority of my life. The best thing in the world is internal peace. No one should have such an ability to ruin that. These relationships become like a drug as if without them we suffer and are dieing to have another moment or hit of the ONE. I’m going through a break up right now. It sucks but these vids help. And everyone’s comments too. Appreciated.
Sounds like you are doing an amazing job. These relationships in life are here to grow us. It sounds like you are becoming an even better human. You’ve made some major transitions as well with job/relocating. All that takes time to jell. I’m also embarking on a break up of around the 4-5yrs, long distance. It hurts like hell but I refuse to let it take me down. I choose to rise even in the hurt. Relationships have become my greatest life teacher for evolving into better versions of myself. If we allow it. Sounds like you absolutely are. Stay strong.
I no longer have social media either. It’s freeing!
I relate to your situation a little. When I broke up with my ex (or really she made the final decision I just left), I changed numbers, email, deleted my socials, and stopped going to the places we used to visit. I really have no idea what she’s doing and how she is. I think it’s for the best sometimes because it really does force you to work in your own wounds and healing
I lost my ex because of insecurity, but after truly working on myself for about 10 months, I see my ex is seeing someone who not only looks like me, but also has similar interests and talents, that’s not only super disheartening, but kind of slimy, like I’ve taken the time in no contact to truly change who I am and here you rubbing this new person in my face when I did nothing but respect her and leave her alone. :(
Ditto. Insecurity sucks but it stems from within so healing and becoming a more secure balanced woman is a result of my break ups and in particular this current one. Coupled with the inner work. Interesting that they look like you etc. Nothing replaces the real deal, it’s a counterfeit in a sense. I do fear this is what will happen for my ex too. But if that’s the case then, I know, he’s not for me. Good to know. Hopefully, it will help me move on. I don’t have social media which helps too. It’s freeing.
This same shit is happening to me too! Same exact thing!! She looks like me, has the same essence as me, which is super weird cuz I am not cookie cutter in any way. I’m kind of an odd ball eccentric type. He found my doppelgänger and claims he has moved on from me because he has her 😢
@@Miswhitness0520 hey, if it makes you feel any better, he is 100 percent in a rebound, and he’s trying, keyword TRYING to replace you but he never will, don’t let that get you down, you are wonderful, unique, and he can never replace you, I actually pity him because remember that it’s a rebound and he’s just trying to fill the void that you left, I don’t care how happy he looks, please remember that it’s all a fantasy, I hope you are doing ok!
Depending on how soon it happened this could be a rebound relationship for her. Keep in no contact.
Honestly if they are " the One" you won't lose them.
each person somebody sees as an object is a "one" .. hence the word one itis 😅
Wasn’t expecting this type of content, thought it would be how to deal with the loss of losing the one
Relationships are not worth it these days . Too many mind games .
This is loser talk. Work on your game and yourself and you’ll be fine.
@@philmcgroin5342 Life is not all about games that's the reason why i don't got time for childish people.
@philmcgroin5342 Oh just work on your game and you'll never be broken up with? Sounds great. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
@@yaarisminko8228 Game is basically strategy and you must master this and master negotiating what you want in life. Unfortunately just from the language you use and the energy you have, you’re emitting a lot of loser energy…
@philmcgroin5342 I agree, victim mindset will get you nowhere
The one is yourself❤
The truth is some people use others for whatever reason. And when they have enough of you, they will just dumb you, I tolerated it so much because I thought she was the one, but boy, was I wrong.
Some women are just nasty. She tried to ruin my life, stay away from these people.
What did she do to ruin your life?
@@taghazoutmoon5031None of your beeswax.😊
I'm an avoidant but even i understand that theres work in a relationship. You gotta be aware of how your words and actions affect the other. Whats meant by there shouldnt be work is that it shouldnt feel like work.
Relationships are supposed to be fun. But when it starts to feel like work outside of your 9-5 then no wonder attachment styles come up.
Whattt??? Relationship supposed to be fun? Whatttt?
@MC-MC888 Ya. Yours isn't? I mean if space and NC are a normal part of relationships. Then I'm having a blast.
@@ZemohcWell, you said it yourself you are avoidant. I am not here to fix you but reflect of what you said and think “relationships are supposed to be fun” ….. Do you expect yourself to entertain relationship all the time? No conflict? No money problem? No eating problem? No sex problem? No health problem?
Isn’t it similar to unrealistic expectations set up?
@MC-MC888 Hmmm. How do I say this? Something can be hard work and still be fun. You might think being a roofer in the middle of June isn't fun. But there are those who do think it's fun. It's all about a good dynamic and what works.
Trucking is/was hard work. Lots of driving. But I got to see the country. Coast to coast. Which made it fun.
Still no contact for almost 2 yrs. I am okay now. I already accepted the fact he loose me. I am just thankful God saves me and i know he has better plan for me.
No such thing as the one. There are just people you’ll like more than others. Use it as a learning experience. I made so many mistakes post-breakup. No contact helped reset things and then I made some mistakes again. After telling me she loves me, she pulled away and said we should just be friends. I told her I can’t pretend to be her friend. In the end I think I chased her too much. Then again, someone that actually wants you and is interested is going to stop running at some point. So I just don’t think she was interested anymore. Regardless, I hope that I’ve become secure enough that it will work out with the next woman. And that shes hotter, kinder, and more successful lol. Then this will all be a blessing in disguise.
P.S. Avoidants will cause people to think they’re the “one” but they’re not. And you likely wouldn’t be happy with them long term anyway
Good morning coaches!
Coach my ex and I basically told each other we loved each other and that we haven’t felt as strongly with anyone else before. She had a “rebound” after me so idk if I believe this. You’d think if you still weren’t over a person like that, you’d reach out to them and want to work it out. However, she told me she thinks that chapter is closed for good and that she doesn’t think things would ever work again. It crushed me inside. She’s avoidant. I don’t get how Avoidants will run from those they love most. It’s not logical I know, but it also doesn’t seem emotionally sound either.
She is the one, but she decided to leave because she “was asking for more” and I wasn’t doing it. But I was
She wasn’t the one dawg
What did she want? Marriage? Children?
@@Champman543 yeah, was planning on asking her beginning of this year. We was together 10 years since college had some issues with jobs and moving along the way but that was always the goal
Avoidants do this for sure. Sabotage the now based on past negative experiences and beliefs
Should your break up advice apply to marital separations?
be the one.. be the object of my love lol and stay.. objectivity.
Hey coach craig those no contact work even after u messed up about almost 3 months after the break up
You guys would make a very attractive couple ❤❤
If my ex wife put no protection order not to see her will she come back, we have 2 kids together and she works and makes her own money and lives with her mom that also supports her