Her Parents Stole And Destroyed Her Financial Future | Financial Audit
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- Опубліковано 14 вер 2023
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Damn. Out of all of the people that have been on this show, this girl has had it the worst and is still an incredibly positive human being who knows what she needs to do and how to do it. I wish nothing but the BEST for this gal and her life.
Agreed 😊
Yes, she's seems to have a good head on her shoulders despite what's she's gone through. Get out of San Francisco soon as possible.
I do think the woman taking care of her siblings like her own kids was also a very sad story. Being told she couldn't splurge on coffee which was her date-time with her bf or buy new clothes for the kids because of the situation her family put her in is still #1. But that doesn't invalidate this women's story. Lots of messed up stuff in the world
@@lightludology9081yeah, she is the one I still remember as the person I’m rooting the hardest for and admire the most. #2 behind her ain’t bad.
san francisco is gorgeous the downtown is the troubled ares
The audacity of the parents to say "your friends are trying to get you to move out as a way to control you" when the friends were just trying to save her from the parents' manipulation. 🤬
Aaaaand "we all think you're awful and lazy, *and your grandfather thinks so too*." Garbage! In the bin with them!
Absolutely!
Then they spend her money so she can't escape...
Yelp mine said the same thing
This is so common
I very rarely feel bad for people on the show as most of them are victims of their own mistakes but this poor girl has just been emotional and financially abused by her family. Please do a follow up audit for her. I think I speak for all of us when I say we want nothing more than to see her winning in life and free of her fucked up parents.
My fucking heart sank when I saw her on the verge of tears about the Spotify and hulu. I hope this girl goes and lives an amazing life to stick it to her manipulative, abusive parents.
This would actually be a great idea! Not only would we all watch, however it could give Caleb an opportunity to showcase how each person was staying on track with the budget. Then also show if they have achieved that 6 month, 12 month mark. Also readjusting budgets to hit the bigger debts harder after smaller ones have been paid off. And also showing accountability on clients end.
Follow up just dropped
ua-cam.com/video/oPCcJouNvDI/v-deo.html
@@rachaelsills8450Do you know where? I can't find it
I can’t find it
I just NEED her to know. You are NOT responsible for the rifts that might open up after being honest with your family about the abuse you endured. Your parents fucked you over. Their instability, their addictions, their nonsense to save face, their financial mismanagement is NOT your fault.
You sound like an awesome big sister and I sincerely hope you can get away from this messy family situation with your parents.
I don't know. $25 is seems worth it to avoid that family trauma.
What stopps the parents from pulling the same thing with the younger siblings? 🙈
This poor girl, her parents don't deserve her as a daughter I really hope she finds clarity and happiness in her future
Ikr being taken advantage by her own family is overwhelming
I hope she gets pissed and cuts them off completely.
I was in tears for her. As a mom of a 7 week old little girl I could never imagine doing these things to her! I really hope she finds healing in therapy and can develop some strong boundaries. Definitely wishing her the best.
I wish the best for her as well. This video makes me so grateful that I had good parents. This is an incredibly rough start to adulthood.
Poor girl is so codependent, she can’t even tell her little brother he has to listen to ads on Spotify. I hope the best for her but it’s going to be a struggle
They took out debt and placed it all under their underage daughter's name, that is illegal and the debt collectors knows it, they waited until she turned 18 to go in for collection. This is disgusting on all sides except the daughter's. The parents and all those companies willingly and knowingly participated in illegal acts to screw over this girl before she is even an adult.
I've seen variations on this theme, like adult children who have their identity stolen, and their parents take out loans in their name.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 literally!!! They should all be in jail/prison 😊
assuming she is being honest
I had a friend who's parents did something similar, but they paid everything immediately. They did it with all of their kids so that when they became adults, their credit scores were amazing and made them unstoppable and hugely successful out of the gate and into adulthood.
@@Abutado that's very different to this case of piling on the debt in the kid's name so you can live rich with no intention of paying it back. Like getting a credit card under someone else's name, spend until it's max out and then discard it, but counting on them being family to not report you for fraud. Their credit are wrecked out of the gate into adulthood with collectors waiting to jump them the moment they turned 18.
When she started crying about the hulu and Spotify it broke my fucking heart. I grew up in almost an exactly mirrored situation. The fear of causing rifts and everything, not only that but losing contact with your siblings.... I empathize so hard with her. I am slowly climbing out of my debt (mine was not as bad as hers) and after growing up with a financial abusive household, the spending can get out of control because you just feel like you can finally spend money on yourself.
I have you in my thoughts my dear. Just know you aren't alone ❤❤❤
Yes! That’s what people fail to see it’s not loosing contact with the toxic ones it’s loosing contact with the ones that you love and when it’s a sibling you don’t want them to be the next one taken advantage of.
What do you mean by mirrored? Somebody was paying for your Spotify?
@@arcticredpanda4598 Oh no, my wording was wrong. I was the one paying for everything. So, I was trying to say it was like looking in a mirror.
Im usually annoyed by peoples long drawn out stories instead of talking about the financials but i am INVESTED in this poor girls life story 🤯🤯🤯 shes such a sweetheart! I would have brought HELL FIRE down on my parents' heads!!!!!
Over explaining is a trauma response.
@@nicolelewonkenobi Usually for those of us who were NEVER LISTENED TO as children. It's because we are never listened to, validated, etc, etc, that we have to talk a lot, and express ourselves fully, so that we aren't taken out of context, etc.
The problem is others don't care.
She's actually one of the most financially literate guest I have seen on this show. She would be in a good spot for her age if she didn't deal with the burdens from her family. She has all the tools to be a huge success story!
Right!! Paid cash for school as she went, negotiated her debt down to half, and paid cash for a car by saving her stimulus checks. All good and smart moves.
She's amazing!! She'll do just fine, she's only 24 y/o and on some levels she's light years ahead of so many other 24-year-olds, she just needs more time on her own with herself & she'll kick ass on all levels!!@@jillianjackson9365
@nickbegnaud She definitely seems like she wants to pay it off faster than Caleb's plan. The fact that she knows which months have extra weeks (aka paychecks) was really impressive. She is also willing to use her PTO to payoff debt instead of taking days off. She has both the willingness and ability to tackle this debt.
Glad to see somebody in what is supposed to be a highly financially sensible field be exactly that!!
She has a high income job. She'll be fine as long as she closes out the predatory family.
My father took multiple credit cards, bills, and a cellphone plan out in my name when I was a minor. He forced me to get a job at 16 when I was an honor roll student and then took all the money I made. I am nearly 30 and am now fully in control of my identity. Using your childs identity to ruin them financial is a crime. I am happy to say I have 750$ left on my student loans and then I will debt free. The generational abuse and trauma ends with me.
Pay off the loans ASAP and finally take a breath of fresh air in freedom. It's the best feeling ever to be debt free
I'm so happy for you man I'd give you a hug
OMG that’s so awful! Glad you got away
Congrats on being debt free .. sorry your dad put you through so much . 💕
So inspired by your story. Your persistence and strength are striking. I wish you a joyful life.
I hope you read thissssss: I AM PROUD OF YOU. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY. You totally got this lady!! You should be thrilled about the steps you have taken to extricate yourself from that toxic household & that fact you are making something of yourself. You have already accomplished so much and that is amazing. KEEP GOING.
I have never understood someone paying $25 for something so much. She is pretty much paying that amount to aviod verbal abuse. Only people that deal with sick toxic family members can truly understand.
I 100% sympathize with her. Grew up with a single mother who couldnt hold a job, so i worked two throughout high school to support her and my 2 sisters. After enabling her bad spending, i finally cut her of 5 years ago. Now i own a house, paid off vehicle and i graduate with my bachlors in May. You may not see this, but even with all the intial pain, it can get so much better when you take that step. God bless.
Congratulations! I know that’s a hard thing to cut family off, but it sounds like it was the right thing for you to do
Congrats! I started working at 12 to pay the mortgage, took me a decade to cut off my mom and another decade to dig myself out and clean up the fall out. So glad to hear you’ve been successful :)
If you see my comment, you'll see that I can relate. I'm happy to hear you succeeded in so many life goals. Keep going and live your life to the fullest!
Wow, you’re a rock star! Congratulations on everything
Congrats on all you’ve been able to accomplish. I’m sure you are an example to your sisters who were lucky to have you.
Just hope her family doesn't find this, see it, and retaliate before she has time to execute her escape plan. Absolutely disgusting of them to do this to their child. I hope she's able to find peace and stability wherever she ends up.
There’s no way her parents are watching financial UA-cam channels.
There's always the chance that so.eone in her circle will see and then the info drifts thru the social group.
@@cody5596but their friends may watch this channel and send it to them when they see her.
That’s a great point I hope she’s safe
I bet Caleb would be smart enough to wait until she is out of the situation to even post this hopefully
“They can’t know…” is heartbreaking to hear being able to relate to someone that would be embarrassed to show any sign they’re struggling financially.
Holy cow. I really hope she starts a UA-cam channel so we could watch her do her budget weekly. And support her through super chats if we feel so inclined
Lamiya, if you haven’t already, PLEASE go no contact with your family. The level of abuse and frankly manipulation/brain washing they’ve done to make you feel as if you are responsible for them is reprehensible. Family does not get a free pass just because you’re related!
Yes! To piggyback on your comment, those of us who have lived with emotionally abusive family often live in what recovery communities call the FOG- Fear, Obligation, Guilt. Escaping the FOG and the toxic people is everything. ❤️🩹
@@sarolcOmg I really like this “fog” example. I was just explaining to my therapist that I feel so numb I can’t even think of a way out- it’s definitely a fog
@@Cloudyconfusionfor sure. I recently cut off my entire family because of my mentally ill and emotionally abusive parents and the "flying monkeys" (enablers who feed them info) who refused to allow me the peace I finally realized I deserve. Sometimes it is still so painful, BUT once I recognized and began working through my FOG, the decision to excise all the human cancer from my life became so much easier. I feel for this young woman so hard. I wish I could hug her.
Yea. They are extorting her every month. “Pay for these subscriptions or it be a shame if we made your life a living hell for that month “. It’s not about the money (though that will help) it’s about getting control of your life and standing up for yourself.
Or “cultural” like my in-laws throw up to us…
As a parent this was infuriating. I feel so terrible for this young lady and she is trapped in a serious abuse loop that she can't seem to escape.
Same, can’t imagine doing this to my children.
She can threat to sue them for the fraud. What they did is literally illegal.
I hope she is able to sue them at some point. I feel so badly for her and I'm glad Caleb suggested going no contact.
She wont unfortunately@@AdvancedCommonSense
@btackett2 I am with you 💯 parents are awful and she has to remove them from her life. She deserves a better life.
And thank you Caleb for increasing her food budget. Good nutrition helps the soul as well as body and she needs to have the eggs for her ramen! And she definitely deserves treats when she wants them. 😀
this is the first episode in a long time where I actually think she can get out of debt. I really hope she does, she deserves a better future.
The most heartbreaking thing in this audit was the "I only get hungry at work". She's trained herself to not feel hungry so she can try and fix her situation. I'd pay for her to have a box of protein bars dropped off at her house for the weekends. I get the feeling she wouldn't eat more than that.
From experience, protein bars are extremely difficult to eat when you’re malnourished. It’s dense food, super dry usually, just hard to process when your digestion is mostly shut down
🤣 these comments man.... Fucking gold.
I don't know, I've never personally been hungry when I wake up. Food usually doesn't sound appetizing until at least 3 or 4 hours after I start my day. Everyone's different after all. ::shrug::
@@Daiyuki117 I agree, when I malnourished myself, I couldn't swallow the bars so I got the drinks instead.
@@Daiyuki117dude, she’s not that deeply malnourished.
She broke Caleb, and everyone else's, heart at 38:14. So honest. She could have BS'd and said "okay" and then not canceled. Instead, she allowed everyone to see how vulnerable she was.
Sounds like she's been doing some difficult work in therapy, and it shows
Agreed. I am tearing up listening to her being so raw and honest. Such a brave girl. She deserves better
Probably my fav guest on the show so far.
This is the only person on his show that I have honestly felt sorry for.
No enough work. Doesn’t understand boundaries
Imagine where she will be once she's out of this mess. This is the kind of person who will go places in life and be in a position to help so many other people.
I actually know something! Medical registrar here! If the patient: even a minor, does not have insurance or is not covered by parent insurance or IF the parent does NOT have insurance, the responsibility of payment falls on the patient: even a minor.
I know you wouldn't joke about this but are you serious?! A minor, not their parents, can be held responsible for the care that their parents are legally obligated to provide?!
A great example of the phrase "every kid deserves parents but not every parent deserves a kid."
As a father, I can NOT imagine setting my daughter up for so much failure that she feels like the only way to have a future is to "work abroad and never come back".
This absolutely broke my heart and I truly wish Caleb would set up something for people to donate to her to help her make a dent in the negatives and be able to breathe and see the light of a bright future. I dont necessarily condone giving someone free money, but she's lived a rough financial/home life to start her late teens/early 20's... I'm at the 40 minute mark right now and im trying not to cry.
Caleb is giving her something better than money. People who struggle to stick to a budget will still struggle financially whatever their income. By taking control of her own finances she's developing a life skill that she will benefit from for the rest of her life. It's like the metaphor "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.". It's tough but she'll get through it and be stronger for it. She just needs this guidance and support to get there. She'll get used to living below her means and then she can switch from debt repayment to savings pain free.
I know this isn’t the point but working abroad is a great experience
😮 I will donate for her future! Damn them for what they have done to her!
Her parents are probably narcissists the worst fate of a child. It's worse than being an orphan truly.
unfortunately, this is so common.
Fuck I thought I had it bad. When she says she only eats at work that punched me in the gut. The amount of sheer willpower she has not to eat on her weekends is insane but goes to show you the determination that she has to get out. I shed a tear for you miss. I hope you nothing but the best going forward and wish I could buy you a warm meal.
she’s so sweet and has somehow remained a kind and positive person despite her awful upbringing. i can see her rising above all this and doing really well financially in the future
As someone who had a mother like this. You have to go no contact. I didn’t and my mother guilted and milked me for decades. And even after she died, thousands of dollars dealing with her debt.
My dad was the same exact way. I still don’t trust him. Thankfully he never touched my credit. But he has been stealing money from me ever since my first job at 16. I remember the day he stole 1,000 from me that I was saving up for college and spent it all on drugs and gambling. Now I’m 19 and he’s finally working and paying bills. He always wonders why I still don’t trust him and don’t care for him. He acts like he never did anything wrong. But I’m moving soon. I love my mom but I cannot live in that household anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him, even more trust him.
@@lakctalks2818 It’s good that you're leaving because the fact that he doesn't acknowledge that he did anything wrong indicates that he doesn't care that he did wrong and he will do it again. Never go back if you can help it and if you do have to go back lock down all your assets and money so they can't touch it.
Some people win the birth lottery with great supportive parents and unfortunately some people are born to the opposite. The key is to realize that If your parents are pieces of $#@%, you NEED to go low/no contact. People that don’t, like the first poster, get stuck in the dysfunctional cray cray. They begin to get lost in the POS worlds of guilt, theft, shitty behaviour, “borrowing,” “supporting” never paying back…… more guilt, more shitty decisions, more shitty behaviours. Etc. etc. It will never end as damaged $%#@ humans almost never change/see the light. It’s so brutal this poor woman can’t seem to extricate herself from her abuse.
@@PACMANnot yes I will be leaving this January 20th for college. I have a good amount of savings and have a good stream of income online. I’m only going to visit to see my brothers and my mom. Other than that I don’t plan on having him in my life at all.
I dont know you situation, but for what I got from her, she still wants to be part of her sibilings lives.
Shes smart, shes hard working, shes personable, shes organized, shes goal oriented. A.) I would hire her in a heart beat. B.) Shes going to make it. I would be extremely proud to have her as my daughter.
Judging someone by an hour clip? Weirdo
@@eric9604Are you her dad? Lol
I feel for her. I audit and investigate this type of financial abuse for the government and it is sad when family takes advantage of people. I see it everyday.
Lamiya, be careful not to get in a relationship with someone like your parents. It’s a frequent pattern that my mom fell into. My mom made all the money and my dad complained. She died young. Then my dad started picking on me. I broke ties after he started doing the same to my girls. He disowned me, his only child, but I broke the generational abuse. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
My worry is that by not revealing to her siblings the abuse her parents put her through, that the siblings will have the same fate. Once they can no longer sponge off her and steal her identity, they probably will start on the younger siblings, because the parents don't know how to survive on what they make.
So much truth.
This could be true, I've also seen parents basically pick a kid to screw over. Usually, the oldest or oldest daughter gets all messed up, and the others just get to live their lives.
Yep, thats usually what happens
I don't disagree. I want to say that that conversation can still happen, when they're 18. Or maybe when there's 17 as their siblings you can have a conversation in person and let them know what to look out for. But I do think you still have to let them have their choice and we only know our side of this so that's going to be the same thing for the siblings. They may have a different experience with the parents because she's no longer in the house. Maybe this was something that the parents grew past, we can hope. But I would say this is still a possible conversation she doesn't have to close off contact with her siblings. She just is probably better closing off contact from her parents.
The other risk from her siblings not knowing…is the parents turning them against her for putting boundaries or getting herself out of that toxic environment.
Classic, and happens quite often.
Caleb does a great job of validating and listening but also holding accountable, such an art
I really appreciate it ❤️ I want her life to be 100x better
@@CalebHammerthis channel has grown so quickly I’ve just been watching in silence but congratulations Caleb you deserve it for all the hard work
youre very good at stopping yourself from digging harder into people when you know you should stop which is another reason your good at it @@CalebHammer
@@CalebHammerthankfully she found someone like you! I want to see her update in 6 months to a year!!!
As a former addictions counselor, I agree! He’d be really good with this skill in social services
You can tell how much shame and guilt she carries for her parents wrongdoings. The spotify and hulu problem shows that. She's conflict avoidant and my heart goes out to her. I've had similar conflict avoidance and shame internalized too. Not for the same reasons or nearly as bad parents but I get how hard it is, when it feels like any amount of standing up for yourself will result in others being hurt so you just avoid. That, coupled with the fact that her mom sounds amazing at showing a good face around others probably make it seem to her like maybe it is her fault that her mom turns around only for her. I'm glad she is in therapy. I hope she is able to heal and as she said, you can always pick up the pieces.
I am ROOTING for this girl. I feel so sorry for how she’s been financially abused and she is still trucking along. She seems really sweet and deserving of a better future. Sure, she may have some habits to clean up but she is being more responsible than her parents ever were. I wish her the best!
How stressed she got when caleb suggested cutting out the 25 dollars made me so sad, these people are horrible to put this much pressure on someone over 25 dollars.
😮 I will donate for her future! Damn them for what they have done to her!
After talking about her dad routinely going through her purse while she slept and then emotionally manipulating her by saying her mother would be upset with her, she says, “yeah, that’s where the PTSD comes in…and to be honest that’s like the lesser of evils.” That was horrifying! I can’t imagine what other disgusting behavior she’s alluding to. My heart hurts for this woman. She deserves so much better. I wanted Caleb to pause the audit, offer her a hug and a space to cry it out. I totally understand the $25 for her little brother’s subscriptions being worth it to avoid her family’s drama. So sad. I wish her the best life going forward.
Yes, the 25... she is paying them off for mental peace.
I feel like her mother is the real monster
Right? F her parents.
Yeah, I don't think Caleb picked up on the subtext there. Clearly her father is a monster on multiple levels.
@@cosmicknight4665 they both are
Credit cards are the devil. I had a friend whose parents did this to her when she was 6 years old. (Create accounts in her name). When she got older, she got slammed with thousands of dollars of debt. The only thing that saved her was that she could prove that she was a child when it happened and therefore could not consent. I remember (when she was about ten) seeing a cable bill with her name and said to her grandmother, what? How is this bill in her name? She told me that both parents owed money and couldn't get anything in their name. I have no idea how the cable company didn't catch it. She spent about a year and a half clearing everything and still had to pay certain things because she didn't want to sue her parents. This is terrible!
She's such a sweetheart and her family doesn't deserve her. Tears down my checks on her final thought. I'm wishing nothing but the best for her.
Her parents are instrumentalising her. They view her as an extension of themselves, no respect for her own agency. Absolutely disgusting. No contact is the only way. My garbage parents were of the same caliber as hers. Disgusting.
I had to do the same with my toxic parents.
So sorry. Similarity situation here. I wasn’t able to even have my own opinions and preferences until I was 33.
I'm sorry for anyone who has parents they've had to cut off!
Right?! I want to teleport into her body and tell off her family. Then switch back. They're the worst!
Same. Finally cut the cord a few weeks ago, this episode hit hard
I can see that this girl is super tender-hearted. She's also an easy mark for her family. Moving away - far away-- would probably be the absolute best thing for her. Go, girl! You can do this!
Yes! I hope she's able to move either in the US for a small change or abroad.
Lamiya, as someone who moved abroad to run away from emotional and mental stress, please be really careful. My lack of internal stability and well-being made being an expat so hard and ended up requiring me to eventually come home just to be well again. This experience really helped me realise how important it is to focus on moving toward something positive rather than running away from something negative. If you decide to go abroad, I recommend having a really solid foundation set up for yourself wherever you go and to have the supports (friends, therapy, whatever) to navigate the transition and establishment period, however long that takes. 💜
I was you, 10 years ago. It gets better, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Now, my husband and I live debt free, mortgage free, and are raising our 4 children with a stable and functional household. Im rooting for you ❤
I had a similar story, so proud of you! 20+ years later I'm also living in freedom and passing that to our kids. It ends with me!
My heart just sank, when she said "I cant afford for them to know" . I hope she garners the strength. Amazing show as usual Caleb.
Agreed
I hope she reads this. She is NOT RESPONSIBLE for causing rifts. Stop paying for the subscriptions. You are not their parents, they are yours. A 14 year old can pay for Spotify or listen to ads.
And they do know how you are doing financially. You are not hiding it from them. They put you in the position so they are aware of your debts. They steal your money and put themselves in the middle of your borrowing with your grandfather. They know exactly how much you have and make because they need to know how much they can squeeze out of you.
You don’t know what THEY have or make! They don’t want any one to know including your school which is why they wouldn’t let you put them on FAFSA. It is likely because they have lots of hidden money and can easily afford cars and medical and dental bills and subscriptions but are bullying you into paying for it because they think you are weak and easily manipulated. And you are accepting it. DO NOT ACCEPT IT. You are worth more.
That simple phrase just broke me like a scene in a movie or something. This is just a mountain of useless, undeserved emotional pain that is inflicted on a young woman when she's just building her life.
The parents will do it to the other children -- if they haven't already!
I just got to that part and my heart just broke.
This girl. If I have rooted for anyone Caleb has audited, it’s this girl. I also feel like she’s the one that will be most driven to follow his plan. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Blocked my whole family except baby sister and it’s pushed me to be more financially conscious and I ended up finding this channel and working on it everyday
Uggh, the "they can't know" broke me a little. This poor girl, on top of all the abuse she's suffered at her parents hands, the shame she's feeling is just heartbreaking.
Honestly I am super proud of this girl for moving toward the process of completely cutting ties with her toxic family. She has already done a great job. Seeking therapy, moving out, almost completing her bachelor's degree, getting a high paying job. She is definitely making moves!
She still has a long way to go with learning how to cook, learning how to curb emotional spending, and completely cutting ties with her family. But she has made so much progress! And props to Caleb for holding her accountable for her own decisions and calling her out. It is a hard line to walk.
I am rooting for you! Best of luck!
the fact that “the first four years of school i was living at home” is an adequate and understandable response to “why have you been in school for 6 years?” is just so ☹️
I know I’m a month late to this episode but…. I LOVE her!!! Lamiya seems genuinely innocent and sweet. I want to adopt her and try to be the mother she needs and deserves. I hope Caleb has her back on so we can all celebrate her success because I truly believe that this young lady is determined to break the cycle of abuse in which she was raised so that she can begin to live her amazing life.
She's getting her life together. As she continues to take charge of her life, she will grow stronger emotionally. I think she has a brilliant future ahead of her and I wish her all the best.
I had a medical bill from when I was a minor that hadn’t been paid and I told the collections I’d sue them if they contacted me again because I was a minor and it was not my responsibility to pay that. Worked!
Dental is not a normal medical bill. Vision and dental are sadly considered voluntary treatments in america aside from a handful of procedures that are covered if you have dental or vision insurance… getting braces or something else dentally is viewed as any other purchase someone might make, which yes, kids can make purchases. American healthcare is crap
@@Cloudyconfusionif she was underage, and can't legally sign a contract though. IDK.
Not a lawyer, but pretty sure minors that are not emancipated can’t legally sign contracts. So… yeah. Now if she accepted responsibility once she hit 18, not sure where that goes.
@@iceblade6330 it’s a purchase… same way as if they bought something off Amazon, decided to buy a dress for homecoming on payments. The government certainly allows minors to go into contracts for student loans and debt and also choosing what university they will go to and pay for… sadly american healthcare views most dental care as an elective procedure so it’s different than regular medical bills. That’s also why dental isn’t covered in basic work healthcare but if you’re lucky you get it on a separate plan to your healthcare but again it’s not usually as a part of it.
@@Cloudyconfusion not sure why you are bringing up the braces. Those are something she got as an adult. Clearly. As you can see that they have not yet moved her teeth into position.
And, you know, at $450 a month minimum payment, she’s only been paying on them for 16 months. As a 24yo.
And no, minors cannot sign contracts. Which one would need to sign in order to get dental work done. That would never have been held up in a court of law.
She may also be afraid to cut contact while her siblings are underage.
My thoughts exactly.
That's what I was thinking. She might be scared that if she exits the picture, the parents will turn their hatred and abuse to the other children. And she is probably right, sadly. But her nice heart is absolutely screwing her over.
I can relate to her. My step father took my car that my dad gave me and totaled it so I couldn’t have freedom. I started working at 14 and he was stealing my money. I only stayed until my brother came of age and I left.
I've had 3 people in my life manipulate the hell out of me, to get my money, and shockingly one of them was my own mother. She'd even put bills under my name in order to get out of not paying for them if she couldn't make payments. As well as another illegal scheme which would have put me in prison if anyone got wind of it, all because of my mother not wanting to work. I know what this woman's been through.
This episode is so sad, but compared to a lot of guests, she isn't dumb. She had a bad start and has a lot to overcome emotionally, but I have hope she can pull through this.
Early congratulations to her on the degree! Finish strong!
She needs to dispute any debts that began before she was 18, children cannot legally be held accountable for debt or agreements signed under 18
This is one person I legitimately feel bad for. She was set up for failure by her parents' hands. So sad. We are rooting for your success girl!!
THIS is the one episode I can't wait to see a follow up. She is so positive and forgiving even after all she's been through. She deserves so so much.
It’s so sad that she doesn’t want them to know, but the problem is that they don’t care. So she is suffering, but they are not.
As someone in a very similar position (with a greater half of my family), I do understand why she doesn't want them to know. This is not about the family caring or sparing family's feelings, it's about saving yourself. Those are the guys who will shred you into pieces like a bunch of alligators as soon as they see any sign of weakness, the'll be totally using it to keep manipulating and screwing things to their advantage. I wish her all the success she can possibly have getting free...
That's the tough part. When you tell your siblings, and they do NOT care. It is such a heart breaking feeling. Realising how little they care for you.
I just wanna hug this girl. She's had a nightmare childhood with abusive parents AND grandfather! Now she's slowly learning how to financially educate herself but doing it with her parents still abusing her. I can't imagine!!! Considering her circumstances, she's so insightful and seems like an amazing human. Keep going, girl!!!!!! You will overcome all this bullshit and be financially (and emotionally) free.
I don't know if the grandfather is abusive. We just have her lying mother's word on his opinions. I suspect he gave her the car and mom stole the money. "Your grandfather is disappointed in you" is a classic lie.
i was about to say the same thing 😭
As someone who just blocked their father, this is heartbreaking. It's never an easy decision and leads to so much heart ache. I truly hope that things get better for her and that she finds what she needs in order to keep pushing forward. Sending so many positive thoughts.
I 100% get where she's coming from with her purchases. My parents also started me out with thousands of dollars in debt. Took me until I was 25 to get out of the red. Sometimes when life gives you nothing and takes and takes and takes, you can feel a little better with a snack. If her parents and my parents didn't steal our money we would have all the money in the world for Wendys without guilt. Sadly that's not the case and we are stuck with the bill. Hell, my mom stole my tax returns as a "this is a charge for us raising you" when I couldn't afford to eat. After that I started to hoard more items to feel like something was mine.
Long story short: DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR KIDS!
I feel for this girl. My girlfriend's mom used her to open two credit cards and racked up almost $8,000 buying all the stupid shit she wanted, pretending it was to build her credit. It's absolutely despicable what some parents will do to their children.
That’s so sad! My husband added our daughter (she’s 7, by the way) to his credit card, to set her up in life. She already has a credit score in the 700’s, she’s been on it over a year. It’s a credit card for gas only (the only credit card we have) it’s paid in full every month. He wants to give her a great jump in life. And, he will keep her on it indefinitely; I’m sure. I couldn’t imagine doing exactly the opposite to cause her irreparable damage to start her life. That’s so disgusting as a parent. Just gross.
@michiganmama562 my son is 3 and we set up a trust fund for him, but I honestly didn't know I could do that.
Thank you for the anecdote - I'll be looking into this more. The goal his mother and I have for him is to set him up as well as possible, and this concept is directly in line with this.
@@RighteousJ If you need some more information, she’s just added as an “Authorized User” which only required her name, and #SS. She received her own card to that account, we just immediately destroyed the card. But all purchases/payoffs also affect her credit!
Same except my ex bfs mom. No bad blood between, he genuinely just had some extensive issues because of this. He never told anyone no . It was infuriating because I wanted to help him since i’m the opposite of a pushover. We were both 18 and only working part time in school and his mom was always asking for money from him. $20-300 here and there multiple times a week sometimes . certainly adds up. Always. She was a single mom (though she had a good job) so in a way I think he felt obligated to. She would just buy random shit. Like special fruit cutters and BS. It would be half his paycheck. she would never pay him back and I literally begged him to stand up for himself.
Horrible to see parents hurt their kid's financial future so badly. I hope she gets far away from that situation.
She should separate every piece of her finances from her parents if she hasn't already, and she should HEAVILY consider a restraining order. Financial abuse is abuse just as much as physical abuse. I'd cancel Spotify then keep a record of how they retaliate.
It doesn't seem like she's only being financially abused. Seems like there's emotional abuse too, like she feels she can't do what she wants and needs to do.
@@Megabot-bo9ve Definitely. I just edited my comment to include the fact that she should consider a restraining order
She should press charges for fraud
@@NapoleonicWargaming100% she should press charges. If your family member was a thief who was breaking into neighbors homes and stealing their purse, you should report them. Same concept applies when you are the victim
She has to get away from this abuse but it's so hard for people to cut ties if they grew up like this. I only understand it on an intellectual level because if anyone tried even one of those things with me, I'd just laugh and walk away, but it's not that easy for people that had childhoods like these.
This girl is reminding me of my own reality. I come from a big family. My mother always guilt trip me into spending money for everyone because she managed to put me to university on her own. I am tired of bailing out everyone. My mom's house mortgage. Debts due to gambling, debts due to drug addictions, bail money, new phones, etc. Everything for everyone. I never gone on any holiday since 2014. I am so fucking tired. You and me both girl omg 😢
The 25 dollar fee to keep her parents at bay is so relatable 😢 I’ve been there, just keeping the status quo. I hope she’s doing better now.
I simply can NOT imagine bringing a child into this world only to do this to them. Episodes like this make me so grateful for my parents, even if they didn't teach me to be completely financially literate - they sure didn't absolutely f*ck my credit and my future. Really rooting for her and have so much faith she can turn all of this around!
Agreed! That's why it's good to see more people embracing being childfree! There are too many people who just exist through life and aren't intentional with their choices, only to then be financially devastated and in turn inflict such harm on their children out of a weird resentment or regret of having them in the first place. Such a shame.
100% this. We were low income for a good portion of my childhood but my parents would never have done this sort of thing.
Her situation is so relatable…this is what we went through as kids…I had to teach myself everything, it was a difficult life but I’m glad I’m still here, I didn’t give up.
So gross that people rent out rooms in their house for hundreds of dollars and don’t give full access to the kitchen.
Right? Also, honestly.. her family member brings her cake when they have a party. Sounds kinda nice, but heck…. Invite the girl ❤
They may just choose not to use it. Remember she’s rightfully fragile and you know she won’t ask for things that will benefit her as she’s never been told she’s worthy.
CAN WE PLEASE DONATE TO THIS LITTLE ANGEL?!
She's not perfect (from a financially stand point) but she didn't deserve those shitty parents to run her against a wall
She is one of the few people on this show who clearly deserves a little more help
I'd forego some taquitos to help her out
OMG she doesn’t realize- if she keeps this from her siblings her parents will DO THE SAME THING TO THEM. Please help your siblings to put a freeze on their credit now before it’s too late.
Only 10 minutes in and I am so sorry for this girl. Can't imagine growing up in that kind of an environment.
Watched the whole episode now and really rooting for her. Just wish she wouldn't feel the need to shield her siblings but rather be able to share with them and have them as a support system. She just needs some people who care about her too. I really hope she makes it.
I only made it 7 minutes before i had a physical reaction to the disgusting behavior of her parents....
You're blessed to have a good family environment. Sadly too many people don't deserve to be caretakers.
We are only hearing her side. But she is describing a narcissistic father. Doesn't mind other people's feelings or life's but their own gain. The mother idk. Typically you will have the enabler that doesnt want to fight so allows the behavior happen. And there always a person that sees the truth. In a family dynamic the other call them the problem but they see how horrible the situation is. For some reason this person happens to be the oldest of the siblings. We dont know why. But I can be sure she is the oldest. Poor girl I hope see finds value within her and happiness.
I couldn’t make it 10 min. Disgusting
At a point (after the end of your teens) you stop using 1/2 ages
Often times DA abuse survivors are questioned, "why didn't you just pack up and leave?". This is why. Abuser are not willing to just let their punching bags/meal tickets leave. The laws are just now starting to reconize the financial abuse that is so commom and the reason why they stay. I am glad Caleb upper her food spending budget....buy the eggs/protein you need/want. People get to eat before the creditors get paid.
Here's the question, I don't know specifically how the legal system works, but wouldn't she be able to sue for all of this damage? Like sure, a lot of it is murky, but if she paid a good lawyer, there's just so much shit there, that the only thing they would have to do is just grab it from the heap with a bucket and throw until they see what sticks you know?
@@shroomer3867 I don't think she would be able to go through with that right now especially since she doesn't wanna cause any riffs in the family. Her situation was horrible, I can understand if she wants to be as far from the source of her trauma.
@@Salman-nu6nf I know, just something for the near future when she gathers and musters enough strength. Sorry I responded a bit emotionally because the situation she is in is absolutely unfair.
@@shroomer3867it is easy to say sue your parents but harder to do it especially when siblings may also be effected by this ,also she is going through trauma and PTSD ,I don’t think she should spend more time in the drama that can potentially messed her up more ,it is better sometimes to move on in order to have peace ,and for her I don’t think suing her parents will give her peace .
I'm rooting for you Lamiya!!! 38:03 hearing this broke my heart. I get keeping the subscription to avoid the drama. Good luck girl, you are very smart and you'll go far if you keep at it!
EDIT: Would love to see an update in a year!
I’ve never wanted to see an update as much as hers! She’s doing great and i Can see all the strength others have tried to push down, shining through. The only thing I’m scared of would be her parents using some of these things she said against her and putting her in another stressful situation
Dave Ramsay has a lot of good calls about this topic. He recommends a book called 'boundaries' by Henry Cloud, and says that children aren't responsible for their parent's financial problems. It's so hard to say 'no' to a parent, but don't forget, your parents survived before you came along.
#emotional #damage Can we get a GoFundMe started for this poor kid? Caleb, seriously, if you start a GoFundMe for her I'l kick in.
Me too
Same
Sadly, it would probably just end up in the hands of her shitty family. She is not emotionally capable of cutting them off financially and asserting herself, not yet at least.
Yep
I just watched the video and suggested the same. I had not seen your post but I would love to donate and help support her life projects. She deserves it.
This poor girl… I completely get this, my parents stole money from me growing up , “you were using it so we spent it on bills”. Everyone think my alcoholic mother is a saint but they didn’t experience what I did growing up in the home with her, I left and moved in with my grandmother at 17. I blocked them both.. I’m married now, 3boys together & we have a house. I’m still fighting off negative equity from my father years ago getting me into a car where it was rolled into my next one but that’ll be taken care of soon. I hope you can find the heart to block them and remove them completely from you life ❤
Good lord,, this poor girl. I wish i was local and my wife and i could give her an easier less expensive place to catch up. This poor kid needs and deserves the helping hand that her family should be providing. I am so disgusted by her family, it is maddening.
Totally get this episode. My husbands parents stole his identity starting in high school and the minute he left for college they stopped paying their bills and quit their jobs because “he left them” and they wanted to destroy him after he cut them off. We are still trying to recover from it 6 years later! I emphasize with her so much! ❤️
😮 How do they even call themselves “parents”?
Your and the young lady’s stories are proof that not every one should be parents.
Your husband is lucky to have your support. I hope you and he have all the success in the world. ❤
Holy shit, the level of evil is insane. Unfortunately I've heard of lots of cases like this.
Look into the straw man thing…a lot of bs out there about it but it outlines the laws u can use with creditors and collections that can reduce the debt significantly if not completely that they put into place to protect consumers from illegal collection practices …..most debt is accumulated through fraudulent practices and unless u know the laws that protect u and the steps u must take with these people in order to make them leave u alone and stop stealing from ur financial self, they’ll never stop and get worse cuz they know u don’t know those laws…example….credit consolidation companies that charge u to get ur creditors to stop harassing u etc….all they do is get u to agree and stop paying ur debts.,..cause them to go into a nonpayment status and sent over to a collection department…who will try threatening u etc…then try settling for a lesser amount and then eventually they sell that debt to a collection agency for a fraction of the total debt….at that point, according to the law, u no longer have to pay that debt. U never signed into a contract with the collection agency…until u answer that call and agree that u owe a debt to such and such company and acknowledge that they’re trying to collect that debt.,..they don’t tell u the bought that debt and don’t actually work as a contracting company with that first company that u did sign contracts with….so the debt consolidation company will contact all ur debts and either get rid of the debt legally…or get them to settle for a much smaller amount that they pay off themselves and then collect the money from u as a one lump sum larger payment to eliminate all the smaller payments per month and the amount doesn’t grow…u are unaware that they settled and eliminated that debt u had by using laws u can use urself and save all the money on ur own ….they figure up the total debts and break it down to monthly payments that u can manage for a certain amount of time…..but u still end up paying the original amount owed because ur unaware of ur rights as a consumer .,.the concept of interest should be illegal and is the cause of the collapse of civilizations throughout history….know ur rights and use the laws …don’t do anything over the phone and never agree that u are who u are and that u owe a debt to anyone who calls…do it all through writing and the mail…it makes it legal at that point….don’t leave mail unanswered …if they send u a letter that says if u pay it off for lesser within 30 days reply back with a lesser amount then their offer accompanied with a check for the amount h offered….if that check gets cashed the debt is settled and paid legally…they can try coming after u in the future but can’t legally cuz they agreed to the contract u gave them by cashing that check….I’ve seen it work in court and people walk away with no debt because the financial companies tried to take advantage of our ignorance and the person wasn’t ignorant
Now this is a 6month folow up I want to see!!
I will pray for her and hope she gets on a path cut off from leeches and free of dept (or at least on a good way of paying it off).
Good luck Lamiya!
Right!! It’s been 6 months I hope there’s a follow up
This episode really hit home for me. I’ve been in a very similar situation in the past and am happy to say that it IS possible to get out of it. In less than two years since family cutoff, I cleared my credit card debt and am about to buy a house. My credit score increased over 100 points. Happy to hear she is working on getting out of her toxic family situation and hope we get to see a follow up!
Im glad she's getting help right now. She seems aware of her situation, seems aware of her pitfalls ( and instances that weren't her fault), she's in therapy. She seems ready to finally tackle this head on and I'm so proud of her for taking these steps! Family abuse is so difficult to work yourself out of and I'm hoping she's improving her life. All the best!!!
I just now watched this, and i almost shed a tear, specifically at 38:25. That was heart breaking, this is the moment where you can really see the emotional/financial abuse is taking place. The fact that she is willing to spend money just so there isn’t any conflict is heart wrenching. I hope she does well in the future. She’s too sweet for this world.
yes exactly at that moment i paused the video and went into the comments to see if anyone talks about it. its so sad.. but she should tell her brother about this otherwise he might get used like this too :o
And her knowing her brother is still under their influence. She wants to make sure they don't go out and take out loans in his name for things like Spotify.
This really broke my heart. I really feel for her and understand the will to avoid conflicts with this kind of people. I would have let it go immediately if I were Caleb in the conversation
I have a haunting feeling that siblings after her, especially a boy, won't encounter this same treatment @@Neth91
Experiencing extended periods of poverty and being tricked and used by your parents can create a serious wound. I wish Lamiya all the freedom, joy, and expansion that life has to offer! The world is her oyster and she’s a very smart girl. She’s going to do amazing! Her sharing and reaching out for help is incredible in itself.
Yup, my sister and I basically stole our documents back and basically skipped town and went into hiding for a while. She might need to do the same unfortunately. These type of people won’t stop until they find you for a while.
I feel for her, I'm not in debt but I also grew up in a similar household and it's so hard to establish impulse control and not just numb your feelings with purchases. It's just like nothing matters anymore in the moment so you might as well do something that makes you feel better
I am rooting for you! You got this. Genuinely. Believe in yourself, it is so obvious that you have the willpower to do so. I hope that you come back on the show eventually. Wishing you the best always.
the most relatable audit to me so far: grew up in a single mother household and my mother NEVER had a job, always a bunch of hustles, “get rich quick” schemes or begging men or friends for money. Started working at 16 and she took my bank card hostage: every payday she would blow my entire paycheck on things for herself, never for us or my siblings & this happened until the summer I turned 20. Moved out at 21 and haven’t seen or spoken to her since, that was 6 yrs ago
i truly feel for her & her situation, wishing her much success to turn around the bad hand she was dealt!
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. reminds me of a mom he had on not too long ago who isn't willing to work and just let's a "friend" pay for everything when she's in trouble.
This poor girl. Parents who steal money for their children are absolutely unforgivable.
For fafsa also your parents have to not only report their ssn but also they need to have completed their previous years taxes
And as the "child" under 24 theres nothing you can do to circumvent that :(
I am fairly certain that I speak for everyone who watched this video when I say that I am so proud of you, girl! You are so strong and I can’t wait for positive things to unfold for you in your life. Sending you big hugs! Keep up the great work 🎉.
She’s a textbook example of how the “good deed” of her grandpa giving her a “great deal” on a car can ruin her life. She didn’t need a car and spend all her savings. And the repairs and accidents and insurance etc only made it worse.
The way she described it, it sounds like mom was the middle man in all this. I'd be willing to bet grandpa just gifted her the car but mom manipulated the situation to get money for herself and privileges over the car for her deadbeat husband. These people have found every way to possible to ruin their daughter's life for their own selfish purposes.
They scammed her into buying a car for her pile of human garbage father
As described in the 90s book, "The Millionaire Next Door".
Never buy a car from friends or family. At least make sure to get a pre-purchase inspection first if you do, check the KBB value, and don't feel pressure to overpay or buy something you don't really want.
I learned fairly quickly not to sell to close friends or family. Sell them a solid vehicle at a good price, then 6 months later "Hey buddy, the (blank part) just failed and car is at my Mechanics. blah blah blah, blah, blah.........", trying to make you feel bad and say offer to pay some/all of the repair costs, after they've ran the car into the ground for 6 months with zero maintenance.
That's when you kindly tell them to get Phuct
I’m only in the first 10 minutes with this girls story.
I went through something similar with parents taking advantage.
The only way to get out of this kind of emotional/financial abuse IS to move out and distance yourself.
Exactly, dealt with an abusive alcoholic mother who did similar and it took all my strength to cut her off and it sucks. Couldn’t imagine it being 2 parents doing this to me. This guest is strong af and I believe in her💖
I am so sorry you went through that traumas. Hopefully your life is better now
this one was heartbreaking. i just want to give her a hug. i hope she cuts off that toxic family, turns this debt around and lives the life of her dreams
GIRL I wanna give you the biggest hug, you are a true WARRIOR. You got this, keep going!!
I’d love to see her come back for a follow-up. She’s really in it right now, but she seems extremely intelligent and looks to have the drive needed to get out. Of all the episodes I’ve seen so far, her situation is the one I felt the most optimistic about because I really think she’s got what it takes.
Spot on!
Financial abuse in families is soooo prevelant and "accepted." It happnes in so many different ways, but this girl, i feel so bad for her. It's so hard to deal with it because it causes alienation and people on the outside pass so much judgement. (yes their opinon doesn't matter but its still hard).
It’s insidious. It basically uses the perceived power imbalance of being the parent in order to extract funds from your child and put them in a caretaker role of sorts. I’ve dealt with people who, while I wouldn’t consider them financially abused, are hopelessly financially linked with their parent and it causes a ton of problems in their personal life.
@@hornetguy9063 I don't know that its "perceived" especially when its children. This abuse oftentimes starts young. There are parents who steal their children's SSN to set up utilities. Part of it too is that there is alot a guilt on behalf of the child when they cut off relations with their financial abuser, oftentimes friends who aren't aware or people on the outside see it and say the children are ungreatful which just empowers the abuser. It's horrible that there aren't more protections for kids.
@@hagabear agreed. It’s actually crazy to see this from a 2 parent home; usually, kids who are impacted by this grow up in single parent homes. It’s tough to find 2 parents who will diabolically take advantage of their child
@@hornetguy9063 I wonder what the stats are on it on one vs 2 parent homes. I had a friend whose mom did it and while her parents were divorced they both were active in her life. But then you see stuff like the 8 Passenger situation and the husband while he may not have been there for the latest abuse, was there when she wasn't feeding the kids, and he was active in punishments.. I'm really glad this girl is in therapy and is working on getting her life together.
@@hagabear yeah I doubt they’ve ever done the study. But if they did, it would probably be predictable; a financially distressed single parent that essentially takes advantage of her own offspring. You’ll see this a lot in poorer communities; mom basically makes her kid stay because she’ll lose her section 8 benefits if he leaves. And then if a kid goes out there and starts making it in the world, well, mom needs a cut.
I’m 37 and I’ve met quite a few kinds of people. And I’ve definitely met my fair share of women that went on to become single mothers (and in hindsight, it was wholly predictable because of the kind of men that they pursued and lifestyle choices outside of their romantic life - note this is different from divorced moms, as I don’t consider that a single parent since dad is present). Whether it’s excuse making because they like being lazy, the true traps of the welfare system, or both, a lot of them actively avoid income generation because they’ll lose benefits. Hence you see crazy statistics like how over 1 in 5 single moms were jobless the entire year. It makes logical sense, while you have the kid. But the benefits are designed to keep the kid comfortable, so once the kid is gone, mom isn’t very good as supporting herself.
And while you hear stories of young people who get rich early and take care of mom, that’s not the majority; an “average” 30 year old will probably make around $45k a year, so they need to be saving up in order to fund their own family. Even those making a lot of money (like $100k+) often live in high CoL areas and still need to limit expenses. So these young people basically get coerced into providing for their parent over prioritizing a family for themselves. It’s definitely a trait you’ll see in “son-husbands”.
Note that men can be financially abusive in this way, too, before it sounds like I’m picking on single moms. It’s just that, observationally speaking, I’ve seen quite a few instances of the former.
This video made me subscribe. My heart felt for her and I wish her all the strength she needs to cut toxic ties and start looking out for own financial and mental wellness. You maintained your trademark hard-served advice but mixed with empathy for her situation and that was awesome. I hope she used your audio clip lol "F*** off!"
Stay strong, Lamiya! You're headed in the right direction......you know the steps you need to take and you will get there soon enough! You can do it! 💪 ❤