"Cave Johnson, new owner and CEO of Black Mesa. That's right, you've been bought. First order of business, we're renaming you under the Aperture brand. I'm leaning towards Blappeture Mesa. Marketing boys think something else. So: Blappeture it is. Next, they tell me you people are conducting some anomalous materials research that could result in a resonance cascade. So I'm shutting that down before you idiots end the world. A resonance cascade! You're supposed to be scientists. Use some common sense." -Cave Johnson from a parallel universe. You can listen to the quote over here: dlc2.portal2sounds.com/48#q=mesa
WHAT'S THIS? A GROUP OF PEOPLE BEING OVERRUN BY A SWARM OF BEES?? PERHAPS THIS PORTAL GUN THAT CREATES BEE-THEMED PORTALS LEADING TO A BEEHIVE FULL OF 5-FOOT BEES WILL DO THE TRICK!
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from-- *_*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZ_**
Man, seeing the words "Portal 2 is now available to pre-order" is such a trippy thing. Like, that game is one of the most revolutionary games in history for its advances in the legitimacy of video games as a storytelling medium, and yet there was a time where it just... didn't exist. There was a time where people were genuinely wondering if it was gonna be good or not. I know, obviously, that's how time works, but still.
This roblox skrub 57 Joking?! You think diamond related accidents are a joke?!! My aunt died in a diamond accident you inconsiderate git!!! Think of our feelings before you comment!
I love how the first three gifts, he waves at everyone and they're just like, "meh...", but when he came in with the portal gun, they stood up and waved at him enthusiastically. XD
"4 out of 5 people are crushed by diamonds every day" Let that sink in. 4 out of 5 people. Every. Day. Also, yes, my mother loves her diamond wedding ring because of the many times she has used it to slice sheets of metal.
Could lift it, but there is extra force in a object falling than simply lifting it off the ground, and not catching it means point sharp bit plus heavy diamond plus fast falling plus directly to head equals ded.
***** but if the cake is a lie we can also say that the lie is a cake, but this would imply that all cakes are lies and all lies are cakes, therefor we can assume that you can eat a lie if you eat a cake and you can tell a cake if you can tell a lie.
Connacth1 You're mincing words, one instance being something doesn't equal all. That's like saying Bob was a baker, Bob was a human, therefore all humans are bakers?
Why? There is so much content available in the steam workshop that it would be way to early to make portal 3... Unless you are playing on the 360 and don't have access to any of those.
I love how for the first 3 gifts, the guy waved at people, but they were just like, "meh." Then he came in with the portal gun and suddenly they were all waving at him XD
Few things: 1. How does she bend her leg forward like that? 2. Why does he kiss the back of her head? Or: Why is she sitting the the chair backwards like that? How does she sit like that???
That was cute! I personally think it would be awesome if valve released some kind of series of these little aperture videos as a UA-cam show...but we will never get that lucky
Valve need a game styled like this but you build your own aperture science facility and need to manage it and keep it running, with testing chambers, investments, etc for mobile that would be fun
when I knew this was kind of advertisement, I said "oh this was portal 2 advertisement? clever." I don't know if clever is apropriate but it was just came out.
0:12 there is a turret in the top right and in the bottom right, there is a person spinning in his chair also, next to the person that gets the gifts is someone who is not working
Just a typical day at the office, one person just hitting a keyboard randomly, one person sleeping on the job, one couple showing their affection, one person spinning in their chair and a turret running accounts.
Valve should release more shorts like this. Sure, the series ended, but it's still fun to watch.
I'm talking about Portal 2's ending. Where can Portal go after that? Matthew R
heheh... Blapature
"Cave Johnson, new owner and CEO of Black Mesa. That's right, you've been bought. First order of business, we're renaming you under the Aperture brand. I'm leaning towards Blappeture Mesa. Marketing boys think something else. So: Blappeture it is. Next, they tell me you people are conducting some anomalous materials research that could result in a resonance cascade. So I'm shutting that down before you idiots end the world. A resonance cascade! You're supposed to be scientists. Use some common sense."
-Cave Johnson from a parallel universe.
You can listen to the quote over here: dlc2.portal2sounds.com/48#q=mesa
+Booker DeWitt
Maybe Black Mesa?
That was a joke. Ha Ha Fat chance
@Clark Kent brapture
This is how you advertise. With adorable little animations, with an iconic style of art and narration and oH GOD THE FLOWERS ARE FULL OF BEES
AH AH BEES TOO MANY BEES AH AH
OH GOD NOT THE BEES!
WHAT'S THIS? A GROUP OF PEOPLE BEING OVERRUN BY A SWARM OF BEES?? PERHAPS THIS PORTAL GUN THAT CREATES BEE-THEMED PORTALS LEADING TO A BEEHIVE FULL OF 5-FOOT BEES WILL DO THE TRICK!
AHHhhHhhHHhhHhHhHhhHhHhhHhHhhhhHhhhHHHHHHHH BEEEEEEESSSS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from-- *_*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZ_**
If only there was a game/office simulator with this exact art style and these physics.
You're in luck, past Skaterboybob, the HTC vive is out.
Skaterboybob hply Jesus fuck the necropost
Takahashi also, tell me a joke.
may i ask what you sale?
I used your profile pic back in 2012.
The "industrial applications" bit always kills me because it unironically works in context of your girl being one of Aperture Science employees
I love the clapping animation, you can really tell they are clapping, and not flapping one arm up and down.
Theyre waving their right arm in congratulation
The left arm is clapping
Haha funny innuendo
The physics on that box at 0:19 mesmerized me
the whole physic of the office is epic, with all the dumb blasts everywhere
Source engine ftw
The head when get large is funny to me
I repeated that successfully 22 times, only seeing the box bouncing...
It is a great box
Fact: My girlfriend and I are part of the 100% of couples who participated in cooperative testing and are still deeply in love.
I bet you aren't anymore.
Buano Taquito woah
hoaw
Gonna play this with my bf to seal the deal
Fact: I don't have a girlfriend
Man, seeing the words "Portal 2 is now available to pre-order" is such a trippy thing. Like, that game is one of the most revolutionary games in history for its advances in the legitimacy of video games as a storytelling medium, and yet there was a time where it just... didn't exist. There was a time where people were genuinely wondering if it was gonna be good or not. I know, obviously, that's how time works, but still.
Hitler was evil because Portal 2 didn't exist
@@DavidAbdullerimov I can confirm, my uncle works for Volkswagen
@@DavidAbdullerimovI can confirm lobsters killed 184 mafia members before portal 2 didn’t exist
Fact:
A smaller GLaDOS for your house can cause your bed to emit neurotoxin while you sleep.
"10/10 Totally worth it"
-Ghost me
Fact: You are dead now.
You absloute genus guy! Now people can buy there mearch.
now I can confront the school bully
Fact:
The brain desposes of neurotoxin while you sleep
If someone bought me a functioning portal gun I'd probably fall in love with them too
Fact: That spinning guy stole the diamond you gave her.
+Robert Jindra You can see him in the community test trailer too.
Robert Jindra Michael Rosen: WE KNOW THAT YOU FOOL
I'm not sure if it's him but he also watched porn in one of the trailers.
Must have been Vinesauce Vinny
FAct he has 80% chance to be crushed by that diamond
Fact: The best pickup line is “Can I cooperative test with you?”
smooth
Can we please appreciate the fact that she just... regenerated after every gift?
Most likely she was replaced after every attempted gift giving. Its aperture science, after all.
0:57 was not funny. My girlfriend died because a giant diamond fell on her head. Disliked, flagged, unsubscribed
A Fork and you just walked away while it happened. How can you any girl trust you?
Bailey Cownley I really hope you were joking
This roblox skrub 57 Joking?! You think diamond related accidents are a joke?!! My aunt died in a diamond accident you inconsiderate git!!! Think of our feelings before you comment!
This roblox skrub 57 that was also a joke, and it went flying past your head
I feel a lot of r/Woooosh coming on
"Four out of five people are crushed to death by giant diamonds every day"
The more you know
0:48 Oh, Valve... you know me so well.
But did you die from a diamond?
Demmino Frost She never replied so yes, yes she did
Boi Jauness She became another statistic in the giant diamond head-crushing fatality.
Liara Ashlynn Jennings I
Vestrel
Another death
I love how the first three gifts, he waves at everyone and they're just like, "meh...", but when he came in with the portal gun, they stood up and waved at him enthusiastically. XD
That just shows how narcissistic Aperture is
And how shitty Cave is at running the company
Portal is seriously one of the best games of all time. Absolutely fantastic.
YEAH!!!!!!!!
Spodermen everybody know this man
Hr cums teh spodermen
"... wide range of industrial applications."
"industrial"
shit just got real now
Its true though. Diamonds are used more in industry than in jewelry.
@@tanith117 Yep. Gimme an industry diamond file. That will make me happy and it's just a practical thing to have around in the house.
One shudders to imagine what Cave Johnson considers “industrial applications”
@@oneverymadlad1124 Bondage, Discipline, and Scientific Machines.
This is frickin' adorable and was a perfect start to a Valentines day for me and my boyfriend. Thanks Valve! :) You always make the holidays better.
Are you guys still together?
Okay, the queen bee was a bit brutal. A bit.
Neurotoxin? MUCH better at that.
Just a teeny tiny bit
H E A D S H O T
"4 out of 5 people are crushed by diamonds every day"
Let that sink in.
4 out of 5 people.
Every. Day.
Also, yes, my mother loves her diamond wedding ring because of the many times she has used it to slice sheets of metal.
I will always wonder if that "crush" may be having 3 or 4 different meanings on purpouse
I believe that this referances 4 out of 5 people cant make it through testing with crushers included
Wait
If the diamond was so heavy how did she throw it so high
Caolan Murtagh Simple she was strong but she did not catch it so the pointy side of the diamond hits her *HARD*
Oh ok
Could lift it, but there is extra force in a object falling than simply lifting it off the ground, and not catching it means point sharp bit plus heavy diamond plus fast falling plus directly to head equals ded.
Caolan Murtagh Hacks...
Lol
Valve Fact: Portal 3 still isn´t here
What if portal 3 and halflife 3 crossover? Mind = ka-POW!
Then it is possible. =O
Gordon Freeman + Portal Gun = I have no idea what it equals. It's WAAAAAAAY too high.
Indurok Awesomeness levels are over ninety thousand.
Fact: My Scouter Deluxe v2 broke.
Indurok Gordon Freeman is a joke.
who else thinks that fact core made this
That never even occurred to me but suddenly it makes this make so much more sense
I thought it was canon they made this.
"Women love diamonds for their wide range of industrial applications" Suuure...
I love how there’s a turret in the background
It's just so funny that the guy left the girl dying because of the diamond. xD
What was he going to do, remove the giant diamond from over her head? Diamonds are dangerous! :-D
Isabella Felipe de Oliveira Campos hahaha lol
And then the other guy quickly took the diamond.
Fact: The Fact Core is an Aperture's ex-PR manager. For various reasons, he was upgraded to the computer form.
Fact: Cake is a lie.
The cake never really was a lie, I just ate it. :3
The cake was real, the only thing that was a lie was the blind illusion that GLaDOS would ever give you any.
I Love paradoxes!
***** but if the cake is a lie we can also say that the lie is a cake, but this would imply that all cakes are lies and all lies are cakes, therefor we can assume that you can eat a lie if you eat a cake and you can tell a cake if you can tell a lie.
Connacth1 You're mincing words, one instance being something doesn't equal all. That's like saying Bob was a baker, Bob was a human, therefore all humans are bakers?
1:19 she should actually be facing away from him right now
He kissed her at the back.
Awkward....
Doge is Away not what he means...
Waffle Iron Steakhouse well yeah, actually
Haha. Never noticed that!
Weird. I always get this recommended around Valentine’s Day.
same
1:24 I don't think that's how you clap hands...
Fact: I'm sad there isn't a portal 3
at least there still making DLC and expansion packs
Why? There is so much content available in the steam workshop that it would be way to early to make portal 3... Unless you are playing on the 360 and don't have access to any of those.
harri son there's more than one dlc????????????????????????????????????
thers 3 dlcs
harri son you're lying to me
I love how for the first 3 gifts, the guy waved at people, but they were just like, "meh." Then he came in with the portal gun and suddenly they were all waving at him XD
That coworker that took the diamond and is now reveling with it at the next desk just cracks me up.
I liked it when the ad for the level editor showed the person still spinning with the diamond
I love how everything was so ragdollish
Few things:
1. How does she bend her leg forward like that?
2. Why does he kiss the back of her head?
Or:
Why is she sitting the the chair backwards like that? How does she sit like that???
+Sinchu9
Because she's a stick person.
There is no front or back.
Some say the chair is still bouncing today.
"Women love diamonds for their wide range of industrial applications" that's hilarious
That was cute! I personally think it would be awesome if valve released some kind of series of these little aperture videos as a UA-cam show...but we will never get that lucky
At the 0:30 anyone see a sentry is working at 2nd girl back
lmao
You Can See That At Other Times Too, Actually
I was about 12 years old watching this when this came out and it still makes me smile to this very day.
Valve need a game styled like this but you build your own aperture science facility and need to manage it and keep it running, with testing chambers, investments, etc for mobile that would be fun
That would be awesome!
What about cake?
MegaBubbleGamer fact Cake is a lie
Cake has chocolate right? 54% of ppl are allergic to It
It has fish shaped solid waste in it
*_54% OF WOMEN ARE ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE_*
Best wishes to the guy with the portal gun. He and his love seem so happy together
I got recommended this on Valentine's Day 2022 after playing some Portal 2
yes
still funny 11 years later
I was expecting the guy to bring cake.
Oh wait, it wasn't there in the first place.
when I knew this was kind of advertisement, I said "oh this was portal 2 advertisement? clever."
I don't know if clever is apropriate but it was just came out.
I participated in cooperative portal testing with my boyfriend and we're still deeply in love. Thanks, Aperture!
it's been 11 years give an update
NOW i understand why my now-girlfriend wanted us to play portal 2 co-op together way back then…
I wish Portal series didn't end.
Like for a petition for Portal 3
Fact: I am handsome.
+Fact Sphere Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Fact : 95% of the things that fact core are saying are false.
태훈고
Fact: The other 95% is true.
+Fact Sphere Fact: I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FACTS!
Fact: the billionth digit of pi is 9
1:11 can confirm, the first thing i had ever done with my wife was play portal 2 co-op with her
Don’t be distracted from the fact that Aperture Floor tiling is made of Moon Rock tiling
0:12 Why is there a turret at the desk?
Is it filling in for someone?
Working for work
What is up with that 2nd elevator?!
I think the girl's head exploded because of her allergy.
It's even funnier when you read the facts in Cave Johnson's voice.
Happy Valventine's day.
I recently gave my girlfriend a Portal Gun and we have been deeply in love ever since! Thanks Aperture Labs!!!
Some say that chair is still looping to this day.
Weird I just got recommended this video exactly 9 years after it came out
Same here
portal 9 confirmed
1:16 i would be the spinning guy there
0:58 you can see the shadow of the guy that steals the diamond pop right into thin air
Half of these are facts, the other half is from the Fact Core
the video length is 1:43. 143 means ILY.
Came back all these years later just to see the elevator arrive like a fertiliser warehouse explosion.
0:36 that would be painful rip
Друг: почему ты боишься пчёл?
Я: показываю этот момент😂
Is the corrupted fact sphere saying all this
Is it just me or did I see a turret working an office job
I feel like fact core made this video
Not funny, didn't laugh
And so, another old video was recommended to us all
yeah recently happens to me a lot. glad they came back
After 11 years, finally....
Fact : The facts mentioned in this video is 100% false.
fact: you're the fact core
+태훈고 (Jeremy Fitzgerald) Fact : instead of studying, you gotta be playing around, while studying
Zefanya Lt Fact: This is going nuts.
+태훈고 (Jeremy Fitzgerald) fact: this statement isnt a fact
+고태훈 (Jeremy Fitzgerald) What is the song in the background?
*2019?*
Torret: I'm Working Here
I don't know why I'm watching this cuz I already have portal two and probably do most of the people watching and commenting do to
James Rafter
Because it's good
In 2 days, this video will be a decade old.
I don't like that.
@gaming corruption human cool
Suddenly, UA-cam shows me this exactly before that day.
awww c':
Fact: Fact Core made this video
10 years old today. Still as great as ever.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww.
perfect timing, thanks youtube for recommending this to me a week before valentine's
Just got this video recommended to me after all these years, I forgot it even existed
Thanks for recommending this 3 days before Valentine's, I'll try to follow this advice as closely as possible!
Valentines day:
Cave: *Uploads another explainer video*
Persons: *follows the steps*
Aperture team: Good job
I should steal portal gun and gift it to nobody i guess
As a man, I can confirm women love diamonds for their wide range of industrial applications.
0:12 there is a turret in the top right
and in the bottom right, there is a person spinning in his chair
also, next to the person that gets the gifts is someone who is not working
this ad can make for a very cute business sim game. the art style is just perfect.
Having a turret as a co-worker must be hard at times. It'll never get fired because it will fire at it's boss if it does.
It’s that time of year again, the time where we all get reminded how lonely we are! Yay!
Just a typical day at the office, one person just hitting a keyboard randomly, one person sleeping on the job, one couple showing their affection, one person spinning in their chair and a turret running accounts.
I love how he just throws the stuff on the desk.
*no women were harmed during the making of this video*
jeez, I remember watching this on release. Thanks youtube recs for making me feel old.
I like the BGM of this short.
Do you know the name of the bgm?
@@selvaudhaya2251 No Idea. I've been wondering that myself too :/