I don't think I've ever really thought about how often it feels like we do something like this on a seemingly regular basis. It really just feels like we're usually pretty good at conveying what we're trying to say, most of the time I feel.
While this is an interesting take, I'd like to bring another perspective to the table: what you recognize as "safety statements" are actually more analogous to filler words. Across most languages, we tend to take a specific amount of time to communicate a specific amount of net information. If we need more time to think through or recall this information, we often drop in filler words to maintain the flow of the conversation and show that we aren't done talking yet without having to commit to a sentence we haven't yet fully thought out. "Maybe" is the contemporary "like," which was the modern "uhm," and so on.
That could be a part of it, but this type of speech is still common in typed messages, in scripts, and in cases where the person knows exactly what they're going to say. Maybe it began as filler words, and after hearing them so often it became ordinary speech for a lot of people, but I don't think it's JUST filler words anymore.
@@Chimmaney I think it stayed filler. We just got used to it and now sentences sound weird without them. Using fillers in written speech conceptually doesnt make sense, which may be why using "uhm" in text is considered weird, but words that seem like they mean something, like safety words, are more sneaky and can carry over just fine because they instinctively make sense.
Idk, I honestly think this video makes a good point that I haven’t even considered before. On the other hand, I do sometimes enjoy drowning what I’m trying to say in words that really aren’t necessary to convey what I’m trying to say, just so I can translate as much of what I’m thinking into what I type as possible
It's called "hedging". They teach you to do it in college, cause overstating the significance/conclusiveness of your research based on some preliminary findings and small sample sizes is considered bad form (rightfully so). What's funny is that some people will hedge their statements to appear modest, but still use them to "imply" an extremely outlandish conclusion.
I didn't know there was a specific term for that, but I was generally thinking this. There is no way to be 100% certain of something - the facts of a situation can always change, and there is nuance to everything. To be 100% sure of something will certainly backfire when the situation changes...
I think (and I'm specifying "I think" because I'm just spitballing my own thoughts, and am not some sort of language expert) that well-rounded and self-conscious people simply tend to avoid definitive statements whilst still trying to elaborate on their thoughts. We've seen others (and our past selves) speak too definitively on topics (be them various fields/subjects/pieces of media or simple events and task in our day to day life), and become aware that there's a way to be more accurate, by highlighting the limits of our precision. Additionally, "You're funny," is too succinct, it doesn't give enough weight to the thought, since the idea is stated so quickly. "You're one of the funniest people I know," feels much more momentous. Add on an "I think" to the start to make it so what I'm definitely declaring is that this is my opinion, and that I'm not trying to shout over what other people might think. I'll chime in that I don't think this is the result of communication on the internet, or due to heated debates in the current political climate. I really just think this is how people speak when they don't act like they know everything.
my exact thoughts. Its mostly about reassurance of either genuinity or just lack of information sometimes, and yes it can be easier to communicate to someone "You're Funny", but do you really think anyone would buy that claim? some people may take it wrong and question you and then deviate the entire conversation to just focus on finding out what you meant by "You're Funny", which in my opinion is something i despise even thinking about so i use these add ons to remedy it, or rather, avoid sometimes nonexistent confrontation.
I agree. Many a time have i been wrong about stuff so now i don't feel comfortable about declaring something to be factually true if there's a chance i'm not. Also, while "i think" may come off as a way to not dismiss other people's opinion, it can also give some weight to the statement, like a way to say it's an original opinion and not based on what others say.
Self-conscious people tend to avoid definitive statements. Well-rounded people tend to avoid definitive statements about controversial subjects. "Self-conscious" is not a virtue.
@@FlamezOfGamez Ok. I just thought it was implied by the phrase "well-rounded and self-conscious". Maybe what you had in mind was "self-aware", but your slip ended up nailing down the real cause. :^)
2:39 "I think it may have gone a bit too far" 4:07 "I think itd be a confidence booster for all of us to just dial it back a bit" Those statements would have a completely different feel if they were "it has gone too far" and "it would be a confidence booster for all to dial it back." Disregarding the risk of sounding like a literal minded robot, like with "you're funny," exact statements make you seem much more intense in your beliefs than you actually are. There is an amount of safety that shows unconfidence but certain level just shows that you are reasonably open to alternate ideas. Using no safety words can make you sound like the crazies who cant be reasoned with.
Indeed, it's very dangerous to tell someone they're funny in their face, utterly crazy even xD In that case, I propose a compromise that saves the clarity of your language whilst lessening the intensity: adverbs! You're pretty funny. You're kinda funny. Pretty cool, huh?
same, i am autistic and i do this alot too because people arnt really willing to be as understanding as they are twords others when i mess up, since i phrase things confusingly so often, + it gives more of a buffer of sorts so if i mess up my tone of voice i am less likely to be interpreted as rude if i have alot of approximation-y statements,
exactly, there have been so many times where i said something wrong or miscommunicated that at this point i basically just phrase things in the vaguest way possible in the hopes someone will cut me some slack and just... get what i'm trying to say
this is how ive felt having anxiety and ocd just "what if im technically lying if i say this... i gotta be thorough" or alot of "whataboutism" with myself and my health
For me, it's the anxiety of potentially saying something with a connotation that I'm not aware of. I always say things like "He's a great person as far as I'm aware," since I'm never sure if the person I'm talking about has done something terrible that I wasn't aware of and I am about to be criticized for unknowingly endorsing a bad person. But I'm with you. There are so many situations where I do this, and with the exact same disorders. I don't even mean to say them anymore, they're just part of my vocabulary...
People who weren't gonna find someone to blame regardless, that is. But if that's how someone's going to go through life, pointing fingers and being unreasonable, then it's probably best to not put much value into their words anyway.
@@Chimmaney That's exactly how the majority of commenters are on the internet; they will pick apart everything you say, looking for any vulnerabilities to exploit, they give you no benefit of the doubt because they aren't here to have conversations, they're here to pick fights and stroke their egos at any cost. That's likely one of the reasons why people talk with so much uncertainty these days; it's certainly one of the reasons that lead me to talk the way I do.
Being conscious of the fact that one might be wrong, or that new or unseen information could always alter your view/statement, is just having a degree of self-reflection & modesty. There are instances where bolder, declarative speech is warranted, especially when trying to effectively get your views across, but in excess it can be almost arrogant. The flip-side of the uncertain speech would be the person who just states everything they think, every opinion, as a fact--a declarative truth.
I do believe that there's nothing inherently wrong with using qualifiers: Some people don't often qualify their speech, and it gives me insight on what type of person they are, how much they treat their life or the information they are given with nuance, or how convicted they are in their beliefs of a certain thing - somebody who often qualifies their beliefs or statements on something might be more cautious, whether it's simply part of their overall personality or just their uncertainty on that specific topic. Sure, some people go overboard with it, but a fair amount of nuance in speech is healthy. When my friend, who almost always talks with "sort of", "might", "could be" drops it all and simply says "yes" or "no", that's how I know they're CERTAIN certain about something. Vice versa, if someone's usually very confident in their speech and they suddenly start using qualifiers that's how I know they're REALLY unsure about something or in fact are passive aggressively conveying their extreme doubt. Not everyone is going to be snappy in their responses, not everyone will ramble on with superfluous qualifiers. It adds a layer of nuance to speech that allows me to calibrate how I should process what people say, especially useful in writing or online where vocal tones and body language/cues aren't a thing as qualifying language does work as an organic alternative to tone indicators. Reducing or omitting qualifiers would certainly reduce nuance - and if that's what you're going for, cool. Just be aware that reducing nuance in speech brings its own issues to the table.
There is nothing "nuanced" about indiscriminately sticking qualifiers to trivial statements, especially when they obviously concern a subjective opinion. In most contexts, it is generally understood, by all parties, that each person's statements only reflect their own opinions and limited knowledge. The qualifiers are unnecessary, but you're right -- it does give me insight about what type of person you are: not that you are a nuanced and self-aware intellectual, but only that you want to be perceived that way; it also suggests that you don't wish to take responsibility for your own statements and stand behind them; that you're afraid of having your opinions challenged.
@@SquidOnWeedor, consider this: the person is maybe just insecure when voicing their thoughts, is autistic and feels the need to be clear on their language as to avoid being misunderstood AGAIN, it is simply how they speak, they are socially awkward, or they genuinely just like being precise. You're being very weird about people's intentions and assuming what goes on in their heads, assuming the worst like that. Maybe you feel like it is unecessary in your own speech, that is your decision, but be charitable to other people. You never know what goes on in people's lives.
@@SquidOnWeed or, consider this: the person is maybe just insecure when voicing their thoughts, is autistic and feels the need to be clear on their language as to avoid being misunderstood AGAIN, it is simply how they speak, they are socially awkward, or they genuinely just like being precise. You're being very weird about people's intentions and assuming what goes on in their heads, assuming the worst like that. Maybe you feel like it is unecessary in your own speech, that is your decision, but be charitable to other people. You never know what goes on in people's lives.
@@rainbowsorceress2082 Maybe, but it's usually just what I said it is, so I'm gonna stick with my uncharitable assumptions and put the onus on other people to stop talking that way. Or maybe I should just rephrase it with a bunch of qualifiers to make it clear that I don't consider myself to be a mind reader.
From my personal perspective, I usually just try to avoid speaking in absolutes so that I could be more approachable, if that makes sense? I've frankly personally felt more uncomfortable encountering people talking in absolutes because my immediate instincts tell me I can't civilly discuss or argue with them, which is why I usually quantify my wording so that I don't make others feel the same way. If someone quantifies their takes, then my mind is significantly more at ease. In terms of cutting out redundant filler, I completely agree. I'm still glad I was recommend this video, it's genuinely well-made and written.
Idk if I agree with this. When I say "I think he might be one of the funniest guys I know", it's not even a little bit because I'm afraid to compliment people. It's just that I haven't sat down to rank every funny person I know, AND comparing to "people I know" makes the extent of the funny much more tangible than just saying he's funny. It's also important to me that I save hard declarations for important things
The fear of sounding too certain and too formal is honestly the cause of this. Changing social trends from the baby boom onwards have inculcated the idea that sounding too straight forward or too confident makes you look like you're egotistical or stuffy or just a know it all.
I kind of noticed too, but subconsciously. I personally do it because of the amount of self-doubt I have, I don't trust my own memory because the lack of sleep has made me have a lot of short term memory loss, and because I think I'm always wrong about everything (ironically enough, this whole statement has almost none of those safety things).
Agree with you, but the first example isn’t a good one. ‘I think you might be one of the funniest people I know’ is different from ‘you’re funny’ One’s saying that you’re one of the funniest but I don’t know for sure. The other one is saying ‘you’re funny’. They have similar meanings but they’re different
i agree with this video. a while ago, i noticed how i've been using "safety statements" and other kinds of word filler so i made an effort to phase it out of my speech. i think related to this is the term "word cruft" (there's an article on tvtropes about it) this video also gives me the idea that whoever actually uses all of these safety statements has their hand permanently stuck inside SCP-645. you know, the thing that bites your hand off if you tell a lie
I'm worried about coming off as sarcastic if I say something straightforward like 'you're funny.' Idk why, but I'm bad at conveying tone so I add all those safety statements as a way of softening my tone. Definitely also for the other reasons you said, like an unforeseeable circumstance making you a liar.
I think that's exactly what a lot of people go through with this. But that's part of why the sentences lose sincerity, we're all too worried that saying what we mean will come across the wrong way.
@@Chimmaney Complimenting people is vulnerable, honestly. Especially if it's someone you think is cool and you're worried about their opinion of you. This was such a good video. Really thought provoking and well written!
This kind of hedging is a linguistic feature, not a bug. A lot of the "hedged" versions of ideas are easier to understand, more palatable to a listener, or actually imply more nuance than their simplified versions. Not to mention that speaking more definitively on everything actually has the side effect of making your most definitive statements less distinguishable from your regular speech. There are a lot of good reasons to employ these, and if they weren't serving a real linguistic purpose then they would quickly be abandoned. The fact that people get mileage out of phrases like this really shouldn't be an annoyance to anyone.
Absolutely. I hadn't even considered it, but yeah: not only does hedging show an appropriate amount of humbleness (personal opinions tend not to be very rigorous), but it provides a necessary contrast for when you DO bring out the definite, confident statements. Great explanation!
I actually feel like "they might be the funniest person i know" feels like a stronger compliment than "they're funny." It sounds closer to "they are the funniest person" (in the world?)
Yeah, I don't know why "I know" didn't get a free pass in that sentence, because "the funniest person" without identifying what population you're comparing over just sounds weird.
Yes! People are so afraid of being passionate about things that the fear has spread into daily life and now everyone is neurotic about "playing it cool" and being nonchalant... like no! Be *very* chalant!
i don't necessarily see this as a problem, personally ? if it's impacting you to the point that it's making you noticeably more tired in everyday life, then yeah, i guess that's a pretty good indicator that you probably should take the steps that would make you feel more direct/sincere - for me it doesn't really bother me to be expressing uncertainty a lot because that just reflects the reality, and i'm content enough with that without feeling like i'm missing any confidence from it which i should otherwise have or some such thing - and i remember when i was younger i used to think it would be nice if people around me were more willing to express uncertainties lol
People have spent the last 20 years throwing tantrums online whenever someone says something without prefacing it with "IMO." Just saying what you want to say is treated as being antagonistic and rude. And I'd guess this is the end result of all of that.
I reckon I think Mayhaps you could perhaps possibly have maybe reasonably had the “I think” at the plausible beginning of your sentence. But that’s just one of my many plausibly top 25 opinions on this comment with a (high) probability of per-chance existing for the next 30 seconds or so or even more. That was everything I think of to fit in to this paragraph on short notice. Edit: Forgot ”reckon” (added it now)
Having seen what appears to be ostensibly your comment on this video, I am somewhat inclined to believe that in this year, plausibly, this video may have made it into your mental collection of "top 15 videos on youtube of 2024". I think it may even be a likely possibility rather than a distant one, because while the wordplay appears clever as a sort of referential joke to the purported contents of said video, upon further examination I might be able to reasonably deduce that there seems to be a genuine intent to compliment it, or smth like that. But then again, that's just my own opinion. I don't know.
My take on the example statement is that it isn't a safety statement. Due to the fact that "They're funny" communicates that I believe that someone is funny in few words. But "I think they're one of the funniest people I know." Has plenty of purpose. It tells you not just that I believe the person is funny, but how funny I believe they are. That I don't specifically find them the /funniest/ person ever, but that they are still very high in the pecking order. And its still way less effort than that whole paragraph, while being more specific and descriptive than just "They're funny."
If it wasn't for all of the people around us who were so CONFIDENTLY AND LOUDLY WRONG all the time, we wouldn't feel the need to be wishy-washy with our own thoughts and feelings, even when we know we're right.
Every Safety Statement in this video (not used as an example) and my opinions on them: 0:30 "I THINK it's strange how much these kind of safety statements have become a totally normal part of everyday speech." (debatably useful) 0:52 "... you do KIND OF have to separate the words being said from the idea being communicated." (seems unnecessary) 1:21 "... I do THINK it's interesting how much uncertainty has slowly crept into our speech." (debatably useful) 2:38 "... I THINK it MAY have gone a bit too far." (seems somewhat unnecessary, especially using 2 words) 4:06 "I THINK it'd be a confidence booster for all of us to just dial it back a bit." (probably necessary since you said all of us, and being certain everyone would be more confident would be weird) 4:30 "These sentences riddled with causes and hazards and conditions MIGHT still communicate the ROUGH point you're making." (not sure both are necessary, but one might be) 4:38 "... they just don't compare in sincerity, at least TO ME." (makes sense to make it clear that this an opinion and not a fact) 4:41 "They MIGHT communicate approval, but they really don't get the same impact or sincerity as the more sincere, less conditional and cautious versions." (at this point, I feel like it was already clear you're saying a lot of this is you're opinion and not fact) 4:55 "... it MIGHT be worth only saying so the one time." (seems unnecessary) There definitely is a lot of subjectivity here for how useful the extra words are and what counts as still being part of an example. Also, I didn't include similes even though you could technically say removing like would still make it an effective metaphor because that seemed unfair. I am aware I used plenty of uncertainty words when trying to gauge how useful the uncertainty words in the video were. Maybe there's a lesson there. See? I did it again. This was a really interesting video.
I always took "you're one of the funniest people I know" literally As in , the person has a sub conscious list of funny people, all ranked based on their funniness level , and I , happen to rank very highly in terms of humor capabilities
On the flip side I hear so many people say things like “That was one of the greatest movies of all time” or “That game was an absolute piece of garbage”. People are so melodramatic about their opinions on culture and what’s worse is they treat you like a living joke for disagreeing with them on any of it. I miss when I was a kid and me and my friends would just say “I liked that” or “I really didn’t like that” I wish people had some humility.
I actually made a conscious effort to talk like this, once I realized saying "this is my new favorite thing" means nothing when I say it every time I watch or play a new thing
If someone didn't talk like this I probably wouldn't trust them. Yes, probably. Wondering if I should clarify if *I* don't hear them talk like this vs if they don't talk like this, to acknowledge the possibility it's a fluke or if they just don't like this with me. I won't apologize for being like this.
I think the biggest issue with these in my opinion, is that if you use these for everything, you cant actually communicate uncertainty. If you clearly remember closing the door, but say i think it might be locked, it will sound the same as saying i think it might be locked when you dont remember locking it but probably just forgot.
As some who does this a lot, if I want to specifically emphasize the uncertainty in my statement I assign it an explicit percentage, like "I'd give it a 20% chance" or "I'm only 90% sure".
There's a difference between what you truly think and the uncertainty of how the other person could react to your thoughts. So, you use ways to gauge their reactions by making the statements sound restrained
Some notions and emotions can only he conveyed in these inexplicable unconscious patterns. You notice this once you obsess over fictional dialogue for way too long lol. Often they have no purpose, but they always carry meaning, even if they’re unintended or unnecessary. Also, it’s likely for emphasis, even if grammatically those words do the opposite of that. Why say “it’s funny” instead of “I liked that”?
i hate being too definitive, thats why i tend to use those statements. if i say something thats just my opinion without clarifying that its an opinion, i feel like an egotistical prick
for me i think it's because everyone on the internet seems so quick to scream at someone for anything like if i say "mario galaxy 1 is my favourite mario game" on a forum or something there's practically a a 50/50 chance that some weirdo's gonna come along and scream at me. "you have no idea what you're talking about, headass. mario 64 is obviously better." and then because mario 64 is a more popular choice a bunch of other ppl are gonna come along saying the same thing and now i'm being dogpiled and a bunch of ppl are screaming at me, and for what? it feels safer to say "i think mario galaxy 1 is one of my favourite mario games. it's not perfect, but i think i had fun with it, personally". this need to constantly remind constantly angry readers that my stating my opinion isn't the same as kicking them in the nuts and telling them they specifically are stupid for thinking anything else because it's objective fact that mario galaxy 1 IS the best mario game.
This is actually very interesting, and it extends beyond "safety statements". For example, I just typed out "this is actually very interesting" without thinking but, what does the "actually" add here? Was I subconsciously expecting it to NOT be interesting, and so the fact that it "ACTUALLY" turned out to be interesting is worth bringing up? Not really, I fully expected this video to bring up something cool to think about. Did I just think the sentence felt "empty" without another word in there? I'm not sure. Maybe it IS a "safety word" of sorts, by saying it's "actually interesting" I might be (woop, there it is) covering for the eventuality that someone who comes across this comment wasn't expecting to find it interesting, when I don't have any real reason to do so. I don't know where I'm going with this, your video has just made me think about the way we communicate is all
To be fair i use stuff like "a bit" and "kind of" to try and express the percentage of the adjective that i'm using, if that makes any sense. For example, instead of "That was cool" for something that was cool, i use "That was kinda cool" to save the "That was cool" for something even cooler. Even then tho idk why i'm keeping it on the lower tones. I could've been using "That was cool" for normal cool things and "That was really cool" for cooler things. Or just using a more impactful adjective like "That was awesome". Just goes to show how subjective this type of communication is
i think the reason this has become more prevalent is because people arent being lenient if youre wrong about something. "is the door closed?" "yes" and then they come back 5 minutes later like "why the FUCK did you say the door was closed!?! >:(" and suddenly youre an idiot and an arsehole and they go off on you
"You're funny" is a bad example. That sentence can be misinterpreted in this day and age very, very easily. And to be quite honest. Because communication is something so many people struggle with, they haven't given me a real reason to stop using "overly" verbose writing styles.
I'm -pretty- sure this video -might- be the best one I've seen today, -I think- . Honestly, the fact the you (and I) use an excessive amount of these 'doubt markers' isn't an issue in itself, but a side effect of us being over-conscientious. (when I heard the 1st notes of this melody on 3:00 I instinctively thought about cooking the meat and giving shiny stones to the mushroom man with a gas mask, -I think- I played too much Darkwood)
Personally, I actually find the more succinct and definitive you are in your language, the less emphatic or open to conversation you appear to be, to me. They're not unnecessary inclusions, it's not more wordy for the sake of wordiness. Sometimes, like you said, it's an expression of uncertainty or subjective taste. Sometimes it's additional context, or more specific commentary. Sometimes, it's to add to the weight of the comment being made. And sometimes, it's just because speaking thoughts can be a little hard, maybe, I guess, and you might sort of, I don't know, be formulating your words the same time as your head words, you know? That last sentence couldve simply been "Language is hard and people get confused". But all the extra "safety" words expressed my own confusion, was more specific, and actually felt more involved. Of course, to me, it did. Because how anybody speaks is about your personality just as much as your upbringing. And for the record, spending an hour making a hierarchy to determine my favorite movie is not tiring. That sounds fun, and I'm willing to do that on the spot if a friend indulges me, and I will not risk accidentally giving a piece of media that's important to me too much or too little praise for the sake of brevity. So, yeah, Deadpool and Wolverine might be up there as one of my favorite superhero movies in the last couple decades, and I'ma stand by that word vomit of a thought. Don't turn it down a notch, make like a couples counselor and crank that bad boy up.
To me, the long sentence communicates something like "come to think of it, they're quite funny, in a personal way (as opposed to like a comedian)", not just "they're funny". It's also something the person might say or write on the fly, as they're thinking and coming to this conclusion/realization, without "editorializing". I do agree there's such a thing as unnecessarily couched language though (which is context-dependent).
dude if I think they might be one of the funniest people I know, then I think they might be one of the funniest people I know. if they WERE one of the funniest people I knew I would say that thease are litturally two different statements
It's funny you mention self-uncertainty. After all the prospects of solipsism - a philosophical stance that one's self is all that does or can be known to exist - even the definitiveness of the concept of the self is starting to be called into question, with people having false memories, or thinking they feel a certain emotion when they really feel another, or having certain thoughts about their own mind that are just false, and whatever else there was in what I watched about it! It's coming to a point where the most we can know about local reality is that something exists XP
Love this video, it’s great food for thought! I personally can find reason behind a sentence like “I think that might be one of my top 10 horror movies.” While a lot of it is definitely soft language, I think there’s merit behind *conveying* your thought process. Sometimes more clear speech can feel a bit empty, like it didn’t have much thought behind it. For the horror movie example, it can show a potential favor towards them, like they’ve seen so many horror movies that ranking one above the rest off the cuff seems crazy. Some people truly do feel passionate about things in this way; I’m one of them! Also regular, reinforced usage of justifiers feels like it creates contrast between statements that use more of them and those that are said with clear confidence. Like if someone says things like “I think that might have been…” regularly, it can punctuate the intense clarity behind “That *was*…”
For subjective subjects like how funny a person is is a bit unnecessary. But when it comes to objective facts it's a sign of intelligence to acknowledge the limitations of your knowledge.
Technically, pure objectivity isn't really know-able. As we cannot possibly fathom it under our human limitations. While objectivity is present, and we might have a concept of it, we are no way capable of understanding it fully. However, nothing truly is able to proven to be true just because people agree on what is objective. What people consider objective changes, as things you thought you knew are always put into question. The whole purpose of objectiveness is that it does not change, however subjectiveness is mutable. So everything we know is subjective, just some things are less subjective and more objective. Like a dog that can see a piece of food but it is always out of its reach.
I noticed this exact trend in myself and have conciously tried to buck it. Beyond limiting the ability to express emphatic opinions, it discreetly blunts the extent I feel something. Instead of thinking 'that movie was mind blowing', I _internally_ say 'that movie was one of the best I've seen this year' trying to justify and defend a contextual statement in my own head!! And inevitably that gets expressed as 'I thought that movie was pretty good' while my frank view needs to be coaxed out through a 'safe' conversation.
I reckon t's mostly an online thing (styarted as a terminally online thing, but now normal people do it). On the internet, everything is recorded, and saying something wrong can come back to bite you. Especially so if you're a big public figure, which most people aren't but when you hear of big youtubers having their careers ""ruined"" (they're not actually ruined but everyone acts like they are) for silly wording issues all the time, it's natural to take that as a lesson even if it doesn't really apply
Extremely based opinion. I will however not say "That is my new favorite movie". I will just say "I love that movie and I am already looking forward to watching it again!"
I've been thinking about this too recently. Like you and many others have pointed out, this usually happens when you try to avoid making absolute statements that could get proven wrong in the future. We're afraid of being wrong because we see the consequences of being wrong. Sadly, being wrong is human, and we just seem to have collectively decided that we need to be perfect all the time. There are also reasons like trying to communicate the degree to which you think something is the case. Not everyone deals well with very direct statements such as "you're funny." In some cases, such as during online discourse where body language and tone cannot be taken into account, saying something like, "you're funny," can easily run the risk of sounding sarcastic when that was not intended. I do agree, though, that it is in our best interest to cut back on some of this stuff and just let ourselves be. It is very hard to police your thoughts, and if we continue to do so, we just won't end up saying anything. I have definitely seen this in my own experience where I just won't say anything out of fear of being wrong, even when I just want to yap all day. I've deleted countless comments, emails, texts, and so on, just because I felt they could be misconstrued somehow or because I feel I may have gotten something wrong. I don't like it. It drives me crazy. I, sometimes, genuinely envy people that seem to not be bothered by any of this. I wonder if their minds are as chaotic as this, or if they just actively choose to project very confident and direct fronts to people, while being doubting messes on the inside.
I do this A LOT. I don't really see it as a bad thing, since I personally consider being transparent about how little you may understand about yourself and the world to be, in a sense, wise. Being too sure of oneself leads to ignorance. Everything in moderation, though. All this to say, I write and do text-based roleplay a lot as a hobby, and I've had to consciously stamp out these "safety statements" when some of my characters are talking in order to give their speech a distinctive feel or excude a sense of certainty or confidence. When you have to find a way to make fictional people speak distinctively different from you as a writer, it forces you to analyze your own speaking patterns (or your writers' "voice") with a little bit more scrutiny 😂 I have no plans of drastically changing the way I speak though; that in itself would be tiring.
This is a good development. The world is uncertain, people are uncertain, and this form of expression is closer to the truth than trying to make bold statements all the time
Like said in Joseph Anderson's video "Subjectivity is Implied" we should know if something is not 100% accurate, but the message is the most important. It also enables us to connect and feel better in our own conversation
I don't think that's the case. In my opinion. the additions (as one i just used) help in making your speach more belive-able (dk) and open to reason by understanding your bias. For example saying something like "you're the best chef in the world" doesn't sound true at all and delusional at best and works only as a complinent akin to "you are good" . On the other hand, saying " I think you might be in top league of cooking" or smth is a lot easier to belive, closer to objective truth and leaves the room for perfection. And the second part about being open to reason. Stating your opinions as if they are universal truths might alienate some people, cause it's usually a sign of high ego and stubborness. From expirience, it's more pleasant to discuss the matter with an open minded person who states "i think earth is a cube" than with a guy who just makes claims like "earth IS a cube".
This is a really interesting topic!! A thing that proves your point is that it took my brain a few seconds to think of a way to word this so it doesn’t have “sort of” or “kind of”, etc. My mind is blown!
This is a great video, but now that I think about it, I think it’s actually pretty annoying when I’m chatting with someone about, say, my favorite video game, and they DON’T use “safety statements.” When someone doesn’t like something I like, I’d much rather hear them say “I think this sucks” than “this sucks,” y’know? Otherwise it comes off as TOO strong, like trying to frame an opinion as fact. Still, it does feel like sometimes I can go a bit overboard, so I think it’s just good in moderation. Ultimately I’m glad this video brought this to my attention
Dunno about this one, chief. Communication is more than just the words themselves -- the existence (or lack thereof) of what you're describing as useless filler words is part of the message they're used in conveying. You mention it in the first part of the video, even -- to make definitive, matter-of-fact, "efficient" statements is to imply a level of certainty that simply isn't practical or realistic. For instance, around 2:45, "I think it may have gone too far." Why didn't you just say, "it has gone too far?" I'm guessing it's primarily because you're implying that "hey, I *could* be wrong here. I'm not so confident in my assertion that I'll preemptively dismiss any claims that may challenge its validity". Of course, to say all of that WOULD sound unnatural -- nobody talks like that outside of very, VERY specific situations. Language is a lot looser than you seem to think it is, at least based off of this take, at any rate.
This video isn't about "never ever express uncertainty". This video is about "we don't need to express uncertainty four times in a single statement, it reduces sincerity, dilutes the intended message, and might even reduce our own internal confidence on other matters".
I see this effect being a result not of the way the internet spreads miss information, but simply the way that information is presented in general, mainly in blogs and "top 10"s and we just absorved as a society.. Also sometimes it is funny to talk like that
I have no idea what the problem is here. "Safety statements" are a way of acknowledging the subjectivity of the thing you are saying. You say it means nothing but I say that idea is kind of ridiculous - it's the exact opposite. It means that the person is being open-minded or cautious when making claims that could be debated. In a world filled with people making inflammatory claims left and right, this is the last thing we should be discouraging.
i get complaining about it if someone does ~3 safety statements in a sentence but i feel that's not really... common? on their own they're not really that offensive, or anything worth talking about, really. this just seems to be a video that is debating a problem at its most extreme to make it sound more interesting. there is really nothing wrong with what this person is talking about in the video and i'm not surprised the comments section is divided on this take.
I usually do this because I constantly question my memory, even though it’s actually pretty good. I’m also socially awkward afraid of saying the wrong thing. I do it when I’m debating someone, especially on the internet, because I don’t want to seem angry or close-minded.
i like that you bring up sincerity in this video beacuse i honestly believe that assessing sincerity vs. irony is one of the biggest (and most often overlooked) aspects of understanding our modern society, popular culture, vernacular, and media.. from the bottom upwards has crept irony from deep depths of ancient meme culture up to the modern 'multicultural' (many memetic sources) "brainrot" culture, bringing it mainstream... from the top down a pseudo-irony has crept, likely originating from the structures of corporate conglomeration.. the most recognizable of this kind of irony comes from media, a great example being marvel movies, which fear sincerity on such a fundamental level that you can never catch a break between the ironic self-referential, nod-to-the-audience type bits.... anyways, I'm rambling, but my main point is that there is a lot to be said about how we set our intentions on being ironic or being sincere... i generally agree on cutting the conditionals, but i don't think less verbose, full sincerity has to be the answer for everyone... i think swears, inside jokes, humorous verbosity, and sincerity can construct balanced speech that allows a wide variety of types of people to speak raw sincerity... to use your example, "you're funny" (already subtracted the conditonals) becomes "you're the funniest motherfucker i ever met" or whatever you want lol... sincerity + your own personal spin to connect to who you're saying it to..
Undeciciveness is also a part for me. I carry yes/no coin with me , cause arguing with her is the best way for me to choose. To disagree with someone not to make a statement about self.
maybe because we've normalized treating people like garbage and shaming people for thinking their thoughts out loud lest, god forbid, it offends someone. Every thing we say has to be said with concession and uncertainty. Just have opinions and make friends and enemies. But the internet has put a megaphone to everyone who gets the most offended, so people feel the need to sugarcoat everything they say. It's not even entirely negative or anything, it's just really obvious to me that's the reason why.
This video is quite beneficial, but I dont think I can ever actually stop my overusage of safety words, people have been using them for so long that they've been ingrained into casual everyday speech, but I'll try to be more direct when I truly mean something from now on either way
Next video will (probably) be Arkham City. Oorah.
Ура
Noooo chimney you can’t say that it’s for the USMC nooooo!
🚪
I think I never really actually realized how much we sort of do this almost every day.
oh wait-
Yeah, we need to have more confidence on our words
I don't think I've ever really thought about how often it feels like we do something like this on a seemingly regular basis. It really just feels like we're usually pretty good at conveying what we're trying to say, most of the time I feel.
While this is an interesting take, I'd like to bring another perspective to the table: what you recognize as "safety statements" are actually more analogous to filler words. Across most languages, we tend to take a specific amount of time to communicate a specific amount of net information. If we need more time to think through or recall this information, we often drop in filler words to maintain the flow of the conversation and show that we aren't done talking yet without having to commit to a sentence we haven't yet fully thought out. "Maybe" is the contemporary "like," which was the modern "uhm," and so on.
That could be a part of it, but this type of speech is still common in typed messages, in scripts, and in cases where the person knows exactly what they're going to say. Maybe it began as filler words, and after hearing them so often it became ordinary speech for a lot of people, but I don't think it's JUST filler words anymore.
@@Chimmaney I think it stayed filler. We just got used to it and now sentences sound weird without them. Using fillers in written speech conceptually doesnt make sense, which may be why using "uhm" in text is considered weird, but words that seem like they mean something, like safety words, are more sneaky and can carry over just fine because they instinctively make sense.
@@Nooy_ exactly! Rarely will you see people typing "uhm" nowadays
Idk, I honestly think this video makes a good point that I haven’t even considered before. On the other hand, I do sometimes enjoy drowning what I’m trying to say in words that really aren’t necessary to convey what I’m trying to say, just so I can translate as much of what I’m thinking into what I type as possible
@@guypguy i love to type "uh" not uhm tho
It's called "hedging". They teach you to do it in college, cause overstating the significance/conclusiveness of your research based on some preliminary findings and small sample sizes is considered bad form (rightfully so). What's funny is that some people will hedge their statements to appear modest, but still use them to "imply" an extremely outlandish conclusion.
I didn't know there was a specific term for that, but I was generally thinking this. There is no way to be 100% certain of something - the facts of a situation can always change, and there is nuance to everything. To be 100% sure of something will certainly backfire when the situation changes...
I love hedging
@@ahuman32478I'm a certified hedger myself
counterpoint: i'm uncertain about almost everything
Actually, you might not be certain about seemingly, almost everything that you may or may not be currently aware of 🤓
I feel this
I think (and I'm specifying "I think" because I'm just spitballing my own thoughts, and am not some sort of language expert) that well-rounded and self-conscious people simply tend to avoid definitive statements whilst still trying to elaborate on their thoughts. We've seen others (and our past selves) speak too definitively on topics (be them various fields/subjects/pieces of media or simple events and task in our day to day life), and become aware that there's a way to be more accurate, by highlighting the limits of our precision.
Additionally, "You're funny," is too succinct, it doesn't give enough weight to the thought, since the idea is stated so quickly. "You're one of the funniest people I know," feels much more momentous. Add on an "I think" to the start to make it so what I'm definitely declaring is that this is my opinion, and that I'm not trying to shout over what other people might think.
I'll chime in that I don't think this is the result of communication on the internet, or due to heated debates in the current political climate. I really just think this is how people speak when they don't act like they know everything.
my exact thoughts. Its mostly about reassurance of either genuinity or just lack of information sometimes, and yes it can be easier to communicate to someone "You're Funny", but do you really think anyone would buy that claim? some people may take it wrong and question you and then deviate the entire conversation to just focus on finding out what you meant by "You're Funny", which in my opinion is something i despise even thinking about so i use these add ons to remedy it, or rather, avoid sometimes nonexistent confrontation.
I agree. Many a time have i been wrong about stuff so now i don't feel comfortable about declaring something to be factually true if there's a chance i'm not.
Also, while "i think" may come off as a way to not dismiss other people's opinion, it can also give some weight to the statement, like a way to say it's an original opinion and not based on what others say.
Self-conscious people tend to avoid definitive statements. Well-rounded people tend to avoid definitive statements about controversial subjects. "Self-conscious" is not a virtue.
@@SquidOnWeed ...Okay? You make an interested insight, but I never said self-consciousness was virtuous.
@@FlamezOfGamez Ok. I just thought it was implied by the phrase "well-rounded and self-conscious". Maybe what you had in mind was "self-aware", but your slip ended up nailing down the real cause. :^)
0:35 it's called anxiety don't hate me
REAL
So, an insecurity, basically? That sounds even worse
2:39 "I think it may have gone a bit too far"
4:07 "I think itd be a confidence booster for all of us to just dial it back a bit"
Those statements would have a completely different feel if they were "it has gone too far" and "it would be a confidence booster for all to dial it back." Disregarding the risk of sounding like a literal minded robot, like with "you're funny," exact statements make you seem much more intense in your beliefs than you actually are. There is an amount of safety that shows unconfidence but certain level just shows that you are reasonably open to alternate ideas. Using no safety words can make you sound like the crazies who cant be reasoned with.
Indeed, it's very dangerous to tell someone they're funny in their face, utterly crazy even xD In that case, I propose a compromise that saves the clarity of your language whilst lessening the intensity: adverbs! You're pretty funny. You're kinda funny. Pretty cool, huh?
@@VoraciousScholar genius
i do this a lot because i have autism and adhd and my parents react very negatively when i give them wrong information by accident
same, i am autistic and i do this alot too because people arnt really willing to be as understanding as they are twords others when i mess up, since i phrase things confusingly so often, + it gives more of a buffer of sorts so if i mess up my tone of voice i am less likely to be interpreted as rude if i have alot of approximation-y statements,
i swear i don’t have either of those but same
exactly, there have been so many times where i said something wrong or miscommunicated that at this point i basically just phrase things in the vaguest way possible in the hopes someone will cut me some slack and just... get what i'm trying to say
this is how ive felt having anxiety and ocd just "what if im technically lying if i say this... i gotta be thorough" or alot of "whataboutism" with myself and my health
being in your same situation I still cannot fathom the fact that that's not just something everyone does
For me, it's the anxiety of potentially saying something with a connotation that I'm not aware of. I always say things like "He's a great person as far as I'm aware," since I'm never sure if the person I'm talking about has done something terrible that I wasn't aware of and I am about to be criticized for unknowingly endorsing a bad person. But I'm with you. There are so many situations where I do this, and with the exact same disorders. I don't even mean to say them anymore, they're just part of my vocabulary...
> People will understand if rare unforeseeable circumstances will make your assumption incorrect
Yeah, you'd think they would, right? \*pained smile\*
People who weren't gonna find someone to blame regardless, that is. But if that's how someone's going to go through life, pointing fingers and being unreasonable, then it's probably best to not put much value into their words anyway.
@@Chimmaney That's exactly how the majority of commenters are on the internet; they will pick apart everything you say, looking for any vulnerabilities to exploit, they give you no benefit of the doubt because they aren't here to have conversations, they're here to pick fights and stroke their egos at any cost. That's likely one of the reasons why people talk with so much uncertainty these days; it's certainly one of the reasons that lead me to talk the way I do.
Being conscious of the fact that one might be wrong, or that new or unseen information could always alter your view/statement, is just having a degree of self-reflection & modesty. There are instances where bolder, declarative speech is warranted, especially when trying to effectively get your views across, but in excess it can be almost arrogant. The flip-side of the uncertain speech would be the person who just states everything they think, every opinion, as a fact--a declarative truth.
I do believe that there's nothing inherently wrong with using qualifiers:
Some people don't often qualify their speech, and it gives me insight on what type of person they are, how much they treat their life or the information they are given with nuance, or how convicted they are in their beliefs of a certain thing - somebody who often qualifies their beliefs or statements on something might be more cautious, whether it's simply part of their overall personality or just their uncertainty on that specific topic. Sure, some people go overboard with it, but a fair amount of nuance in speech is healthy. When my friend, who almost always talks with "sort of", "might", "could be" drops it all and simply says "yes" or "no", that's how I know they're CERTAIN certain about something. Vice versa, if someone's usually very confident in their speech and they suddenly start using qualifiers that's how I know they're REALLY unsure about something or in fact are passive aggressively conveying their extreme doubt. Not everyone is going to be snappy in their responses, not everyone will ramble on with superfluous qualifiers.
It adds a layer of nuance to speech that allows me to calibrate how I should process what people say, especially useful in writing or online where vocal tones and body language/cues aren't a thing as qualifying language does work as an organic alternative to tone indicators. Reducing or omitting qualifiers would certainly reduce nuance - and if that's what you're going for, cool. Just be aware that reducing nuance in speech brings its own issues to the table.
I agree (or should i say i think that you might be right lol)
There is nothing "nuanced" about indiscriminately sticking qualifiers to trivial statements, especially when they obviously concern a subjective opinion. In most contexts, it is generally understood, by all parties, that each person's statements only reflect their own opinions and limited knowledge. The qualifiers are unnecessary, but you're right -- it does give me insight about what type of person you are: not that you are a nuanced and self-aware intellectual, but only that you want to be perceived that way; it also suggests that you don't wish to take responsibility for your own statements and stand behind them; that you're afraid of having your opinions challenged.
@@SquidOnWeedor, consider this: the person is maybe just insecure when voicing their thoughts, is autistic and feels the need to be clear on their language as to avoid being misunderstood AGAIN, it is simply how they speak, they are socially awkward, or they genuinely just like being precise.
You're being very weird about people's intentions and assuming what goes on in their heads, assuming the worst like that. Maybe you feel like it is unecessary in your own speech, that is your decision, but be charitable to other people. You never know what goes on in people's lives.
@@SquidOnWeed or, consider this: the person is maybe just insecure when voicing their thoughts, is autistic and feels the need to be clear on their language as to avoid being misunderstood AGAIN, it is simply how they speak, they are socially awkward, or they genuinely just like being precise.
You're being very weird about people's intentions and assuming what goes on in their heads, assuming the worst like that. Maybe you feel like it is unecessary in your own speech, that is your decision, but be charitable to other people. You never know what goes on in people's lives.
@@rainbowsorceress2082 Maybe, but it's usually just what I said it is, so I'm gonna stick with my uncharitable assumptions and put the onus on other people to stop talking that way. Or maybe I should just rephrase it with a bunch of qualifiers to make it clear that I don't consider myself to be a mind reader.
From my personal perspective, I usually just try to avoid speaking in absolutes so that I could be more approachable, if that makes sense? I've frankly personally felt more uncomfortable encountering people talking in absolutes because my immediate instincts tell me I can't civilly discuss or argue with them, which is why I usually quantify my wording so that I don't make others feel the same way. If someone quantifies their takes, then my mind is significantly more at ease.
In terms of cutting out redundant filler, I completely agree. I'm still glad I was recommend this video, it's genuinely well-made and written.
Definitely dunk-culture’s fault.
Idk if I agree with this. When I say "I think he might be one of the funniest guys I know", it's not even a little bit because I'm afraid to compliment people. It's just that I haven't sat down to rank every funny person I know, AND comparing to "people I know" makes the extent of the funny much more tangible than just saying he's funny. It's also important to me that I save hard declarations for important things
That damn video game dunkey ruins EVERYTHING
What's dunk culture?
I think it might be possible that dunk-culture is part of what caused this
@@somebodylikesbacon1960 this guy gets it lol
The fear of sounding too certain and too formal is honestly the cause of this. Changing social trends from the baby boom onwards have inculcated the idea that sounding too straight forward or too confident makes you look like you're egotistical or stuffy or just a know it all.
I kind of noticed too, but subconsciously.
I personally do it because of the amount of self-doubt I have, I don't trust my own memory because the lack of sleep has made me have a lot of short term memory loss, and because I think I'm always wrong about everything (ironically enough, this whole statement has almost none of those safety things).
Agree with you, but the first example isn’t a good one.
‘I think you might be one of the funniest people I know’ is different from ‘you’re funny’
One’s saying that you’re one of the funniest but I don’t know for sure. The other one is saying ‘you’re funny’.
They have similar meanings but they’re different
Yep. It's to put emphasis. Did not understand what the deal is.
i agree with this video. a while ago, i noticed how i've been using "safety statements" and other kinds of word filler so i made an effort to phase it out of my speech. i think related to this is the term "word cruft" (there's an article on tvtropes about it)
this video also gives me the idea that whoever actually uses all of these safety statements has their hand permanently stuck inside SCP-645. you know, the thing that bites your hand off if you tell a lie
I'm worried about coming off as sarcastic if I say something straightforward like 'you're funny.' Idk why, but I'm bad at conveying tone so I add all those safety statements as a way of softening my tone. Definitely also for the other reasons you said, like an unforeseeable circumstance making you a liar.
I think that's exactly what a lot of people go through with this. But that's part of why the sentences lose sincerity, we're all too worried that saying what we mean will come across the wrong way.
@@Chimmaney Complimenting people is vulnerable, honestly. Especially if it's someone you think is cool and you're worried about their opinion of you. This was such a good video. Really thought provoking and well written!
@@lauren-gx1lg Thank you! That's very kind.
This kind of hedging is a linguistic feature, not a bug. A lot of the "hedged" versions of ideas are easier to understand, more palatable to a listener, or actually imply more nuance than their simplified versions. Not to mention that speaking more definitively on everything actually has the side effect of making your most definitive statements less distinguishable from your regular speech. There are a lot of good reasons to employ these, and if they weren't serving a real linguistic purpose then they would quickly be abandoned. The fact that people get mileage out of phrases like this really shouldn't be an annoyance to anyone.
Absolutely. I hadn't even considered it, but yeah: not only does hedging show an appropriate amount of humbleness (personal opinions tend not to be very rigorous), but it provides a necessary contrast for when you DO bring out the definite, confident statements. Great explanation!
I actually feel like "they might be the funniest person i know" feels like a stronger compliment than "they're funny." It sounds closer to "they are the funniest person" (in the world?)
Yeah, I don't know why "I know" didn't get a free pass in that sentence, because "the funniest person" without identifying what population you're comparing over just sounds weird.
It's the cringe culture, the ridicule of being overly emotional or over passionate
I AGREEE
Yes! People are so afraid of being passionate about things that the fear has spread into daily life and now everyone is neurotic about "playing it cool" and being nonchalant... like no! Be *very* chalant!
@@TravisRyleyyep. In fact, no emotions are awesome!
I have the opposite problem at work... I keep saying that I'm absolutely SURE about some information then getting it wrong.
Remember when Doug Doug tried to stop saying 'Like' all the goddamn time and it didn't work? Yeah, this tale is gonna end in tragedy.
You just said "Ike", dumbass
i don't necessarily see this as a problem, personally ? if it's impacting you to the point that it's making you noticeably more tired in everyday life, then yeah, i guess that's a pretty good indicator that you probably should take the steps that would make you feel more direct/sincere - for me it doesn't really bother me to be expressing uncertainty a lot because that just reflects the reality, and i'm content enough with that without feeling like i'm missing any confidence from it which i should otherwise have or some such thing - and i remember when i was younger i used to think it would be nice if people around me were more willing to express uncertainties lol
It's possible that I'm pretty sure I think this probably might be one of the most thought-provoking videos I've seen recently, maybe.
People have spent the last 20 years throwing tantrums online whenever someone says something without prefacing it with "IMO." Just saying what you want to say is treated as being antagonistic and rude. And I'd guess this is the end result of all of that.
This video was maybe one of my top 15 UA-cam Videos of this year I think
I reckon I think Mayhaps you could perhaps possibly have maybe reasonably had the “I think” at the plausible beginning of your sentence.
But that’s just one of my many plausibly top 25 opinions on this comment with a (high) probability of per-chance existing for the next 30 seconds or so or even more.
That was everything I think of to fit in to this paragraph on short notice.
Edit: Forgot ”reckon” (added it now)
@@DrakonBlake lol you win
Having seen what appears to be ostensibly your comment on this video, I am somewhat inclined to believe that in this year, plausibly, this video may have made it into your mental collection of "top 15 videos on youtube of 2024". I think it may even be a likely possibility rather than a distant one, because while the wordplay appears clever as a sort of referential joke to the purported contents of said video, upon further examination I might be able to reasonably deduce that there seems to be a genuine intent to compliment it, or smth like that. But then again, that's just my own opinion. I don't know.
@ LMAOOOOOO
Tbh I don’t think it’s a problem
I think what you've presented in this might've been one of the most concise video essay I've ever seen.
My take on the example statement is that it isn't a safety statement. Due to the fact that "They're funny" communicates that I believe that someone is funny in few words. But "I think they're one of the funniest people I know." Has plenty of purpose.
It tells you not just that I believe the person is funny, but how funny I believe they are. That I don't specifically find them the /funniest/ person ever, but that they are still very high in the pecking order. And its still way less effort than that whole paragraph, while being more specific and descriptive than just "They're funny."
If it wasn't for all of the people around us who were so CONFIDENTLY AND LOUDLY WRONG all the time, we wouldn't feel the need to be wishy-washy with our own thoughts and feelings, even when we know we're right.
Every Safety Statement in this video (not used as an example) and my opinions on them:
0:30 "I THINK it's strange how much these kind of safety statements have become a totally normal part of everyday speech." (debatably useful)
0:52 "... you do KIND OF have to separate the words being said from the idea being communicated." (seems unnecessary)
1:21 "... I do THINK it's interesting how much uncertainty has slowly crept into our speech." (debatably useful)
2:38 "... I THINK it MAY have gone a bit too far." (seems somewhat unnecessary, especially using 2 words)
4:06 "I THINK it'd be a confidence booster for all of us to just dial it back a bit." (probably necessary since you said all of us, and being certain everyone would be more confident would be weird)
4:30 "These sentences riddled with causes and hazards and conditions MIGHT still communicate the ROUGH point you're making." (not sure both are necessary, but one might be)
4:38 "... they just don't compare in sincerity, at least TO ME." (makes sense to make it clear that this an opinion and not a fact)
4:41 "They MIGHT communicate approval, but they really don't get the same impact or sincerity as the more sincere, less conditional and cautious versions." (at this point, I feel like it was already clear you're saying a lot of this is you're opinion and not fact)
4:55 "... it MIGHT be worth only saying so the one time." (seems unnecessary)
There definitely is a lot of subjectivity here for how useful the extra words are and what counts as still being part of an example. Also, I didn't include similes even though you could technically say removing like would still make it an effective metaphor because that seemed unfair.
I am aware I used plenty of uncertainty words when trying to gauge how useful the uncertainty words in the video were. Maybe there's a lesson there. See? I did it again.
This was a really interesting video.
High effort. You missed the "a bit" in "I think it may have gone a bit too far", though, bumping that one up to 3.
I always took "you're one of the funniest people I know" literally
As in , the person has a sub conscious list of funny people, all ranked based on their funniness level , and I , happen to rank very highly in terms of humor capabilities
It sounds better, like overthinking but verbally, I love it, to some extent.
On the flip side I hear so many people say things like “That was one of the greatest movies of all time” or “That game was an absolute piece of garbage”. People are so melodramatic about their opinions on culture and what’s worse is they treat you like a living joke for disagreeing with them on any of it. I miss when I was a kid and me and my friends would just say “I liked that” or “I really didn’t like that” I wish people had some humility.
I actually made a conscious effort to talk like this, once I realized saying "this is my new favorite thing" means nothing when I say it every time I watch or play a new thing
Dude, I can't be sure of anything, which is why I structure my sentences that way. It implies that I could be wrong.
Here's my take:
These have become the new filler words. Instead of "um" and "like" and "well" we have these now.
It is not filler language.
A filler word has no inherit meaning and just a sound. It contributes nothing to the structure of the sentence.
@@TrifectShow I disagree. I feel like people use these words just to fill space, and they simply disregard the fact that the phrase has meaning
@xyntercept I mean I guess, but why?
If someone didn't talk like this I probably wouldn't trust them. Yes, probably. Wondering if I should clarify if *I* don't hear them talk like this vs if they don't talk like this, to acknowledge the possibility it's a fluke or if they just don't like this with me. I won't apologize for being like this.
I think the biggest issue with these in my opinion, is that if you use these for everything, you cant actually communicate uncertainty.
If you clearly remember closing the door, but say i think it might be locked, it will sound the same as saying i think it might be locked when you dont remember locking it but probably just forgot.
As some who does this a lot, if I want to specifically emphasize the uncertainty in my statement I assign it an explicit percentage, like "I'd give it a 20% chance" or "I'm only 90% sure".
Very based OneShot pfp
I think maybe this might be like one of my top 100% of videos I've ever watched on UA-cam.
There's a difference between what you truly think and the uncertainty of how the other person could react to your thoughts. So, you use ways to gauge their reactions by making the statements sound restrained
Some notions and emotions can only he conveyed in these inexplicable unconscious patterns. You notice this once you obsess over fictional dialogue for way too long lol.
Often they have no purpose, but they always carry meaning, even if they’re unintended or unnecessary. Also, it’s likely for emphasis, even if grammatically those words do the opposite of that.
Why say “it’s funny” instead of “I liked that”?
i hate being too definitive, thats why i tend to use those statements. if i say something thats just my opinion without clarifying that its an opinion, i feel like an egotistical prick
for me i think it's because everyone on the internet seems so quick to scream at someone for anything
like if i say "mario galaxy 1 is my favourite mario game" on a forum or something there's practically a a 50/50 chance that some weirdo's gonna come along and scream at me. "you have no idea what you're talking about, headass. mario 64 is obviously better." and then because mario 64 is a more popular choice a bunch of other ppl are gonna come along saying the same thing and now i'm being dogpiled and a bunch of ppl are screaming at me, and for what?
it feels safer to say "i think mario galaxy 1 is one of my favourite mario games. it's not perfect, but i think i had fun with it, personally".
this need to constantly remind constantly angry readers that my stating my opinion isn't the same as kicking them in the nuts and telling them they specifically are stupid for thinking anything else because it's objective fact that mario galaxy 1 IS the best mario game.
This is actually very interesting, and it extends beyond "safety statements". For example, I just typed out "this is actually very interesting" without thinking but, what does the "actually" add here? Was I subconsciously expecting it to NOT be interesting, and so the fact that it "ACTUALLY" turned out to be interesting is worth bringing up? Not really, I fully expected this video to bring up something cool to think about. Did I just think the sentence felt "empty" without another word in there? I'm not sure. Maybe it IS a "safety word" of sorts, by saying it's "actually interesting" I might be (woop, there it is) covering for the eventuality that someone who comes across this comment wasn't expecting to find it interesting, when I don't have any real reason to do so.
I don't know where I'm going with this, your video has just made me think about the way we communicate is all
To be fair i use stuff like "a bit" and "kind of" to try and express the percentage of the adjective that i'm using, if that makes any sense. For example, instead of "That was cool" for something that was cool, i use "That was kinda cool" to save the "That was cool" for something even cooler. Even then tho idk why i'm keeping it on the lower tones. I could've been using "That was cool" for normal cool things and "That was really cool" for cooler things. Or just using a more impactful adjective like "That was awesome". Just goes to show how subjective this type of communication is
i think the reason this has become more prevalent is because people arent being lenient if youre wrong about something. "is the door closed?" "yes" and then they come back 5 minutes later like "why the FUCK did you say the door was closed!?! >:(" and suddenly youre an idiot and an arsehole and they go off on you
"You're funny" is a bad example. That sentence can be misinterpreted in this day and age very, very easily. And to be quite honest. Because communication is something so many people struggle with, they haven't given me a real reason to stop using "overly" verbose writing styles.
Yeah, I have a tingling feeling that I think this UA-cam might perhaps be one of the rather subjectively high quality UA-camrs I personally know.
I'm -pretty- sure this video -might- be the best one I've seen today, -I think- . Honestly, the fact the you (and I) use an excessive amount of these 'doubt markers' isn't an issue in itself, but a side effect of us being over-conscientious. (when I heard the 1st notes of this melody on 3:00 I instinctively thought about cooking the meat and giving shiny stones to the mushroom man with a gas mask, -I think- I played too much Darkwood)
Personally, I actually find the more succinct and definitive you are in your language, the less emphatic or open to conversation you appear to be, to me.
They're not unnecessary inclusions, it's not more wordy for the sake of wordiness. Sometimes, like you said, it's an expression of uncertainty or subjective taste. Sometimes it's additional context, or more specific commentary. Sometimes, it's to add to the weight of the comment being made. And sometimes, it's just because speaking thoughts can be a little hard, maybe, I guess, and you might sort of, I don't know, be formulating your words the same time as your head words, you know?
That last sentence couldve simply been "Language is hard and people get confused". But all the extra "safety" words expressed my own confusion, was more specific, and actually felt more involved. Of course, to me, it did. Because how anybody speaks is about your personality just as much as your upbringing.
And for the record, spending an hour making a hierarchy to determine my favorite movie is not tiring. That sounds fun, and I'm willing to do that on the spot if a friend indulges me, and I will not risk accidentally giving a piece of media that's important to me too much or too little praise for the sake of brevity. So, yeah, Deadpool and Wolverine might be up there as one of my favorite superhero movies in the last couple decades, and I'ma stand by that word vomit of a thought.
Don't turn it down a notch, make like a couples counselor and crank that bad boy up.
Honestly, man. I just don't feel like sayin things as if they're fact, when I don't even know.
To me, the long sentence communicates something like "come to think of it, they're quite funny, in a personal way (as opposed to like a comedian)", not just "they're funny". It's also something the person might say or write on the fly, as they're thinking and coming to this conclusion/realization, without "editorializing".
I do agree there's such a thing as unnecessarily couched language though (which is context-dependent).
FINALLY I KNOW IM NOT ALONE IN MY NEUROTICISM
dude if I think they might be one of the funniest people I know, then I think they might be one of the funniest people I know.
if they WERE one of the funniest people I knew I would say that
thease are litturally two different statements
It's funny you mention self-uncertainty. After all the prospects of solipsism - a philosophical stance that one's self is all that does or can be known to exist - even the definitiveness of the concept of the self is starting to be called into question, with people having false memories, or thinking they feel a certain emotion when they really feel another, or having certain thoughts about their own mind that are just false, and whatever else there was in what I watched about it! It's coming to a point where the most we can know about local reality is that something exists XP
Love this video, it’s great food for thought!
I personally can find reason behind a sentence like “I think that might be one of my top 10 horror movies.” While a lot of it is definitely soft language, I think there’s merit behind *conveying* your thought process. Sometimes more clear speech can feel a bit empty, like it didn’t have much thought behind it. For the horror movie example, it can show a potential favor towards them, like they’ve seen so many horror movies that ranking one above the rest off the cuff seems crazy. Some people truly do feel passionate about things in this way; I’m one of them!
Also regular, reinforced usage of justifiers feels like it creates contrast between statements that use more of them and those that are said with clear confidence. Like if someone says things like “I think that might have been…” regularly, it can punctuate the intense clarity behind “That *was*…”
This is an interesting topic I never thought about before.
All cultures, given enough time, will converge into East Asian politeness system 😂
For subjective subjects like how funny a person is is a bit unnecessary. But when it comes to objective facts it's a sign of intelligence to acknowledge the limitations of your knowledge.
Technically, pure objectivity isn't really know-able. As we cannot possibly fathom it under our human limitations.
While objectivity is present, and we might have a concept of it, we are no way capable of understanding it fully.
However, nothing truly is able to proven to be true just because people agree on what is objective.
What people consider objective changes, as things you thought you knew are always put into question.
The whole purpose of objectiveness is that it does not change, however subjectiveness is mutable.
So everything we know is subjective, just some things are less subjective and more objective.
Like a dog that can see a piece of food but it is always out of its reach.
I noticed this exact trend in myself and have conciously tried to buck it. Beyond limiting the ability to express emphatic opinions, it discreetly blunts the extent I feel something. Instead of thinking 'that movie was mind blowing', I _internally_ say 'that movie was one of the best I've seen this year' trying to justify and defend a contextual statement in my own head!! And inevitably that gets expressed as 'I thought that movie was pretty good' while my frank view needs to be coaxed out through a 'safe' conversation.
I feel called tf out, kinda.
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This video is fucking awesome (I think) and is one of the biggest pet peeves I have on a daily basis. You got a laugh out of me dude, nice work
This video doesn’t have enough attention
It’s short, Entertaining, And easy to understand
Why does this only have 70 views and 3 comments!?!?
To be fair it's one hour old. Glad you enjoyed!
8 mins to say almost nothing. couldve been shorter.
@@jumbopopcorn I probably should've made it 5 minutes
I reckon t's mostly an online thing (styarted as a terminally online thing, but now normal people do it). On the internet, everything is recorded, and saying something wrong can come back to bite you. Especially so if you're a big public figure, which most people aren't but when you hear of big youtubers having their careers ""ruined"" (they're not actually ruined but everyone acts like they are) for silly wording issues all the time, it's natural to take that as a lesson even if it doesn't really apply
I do get that, but I feel like you can turn the dial down to a 1 or a 2 and still get some more sincerity into your phrases. Worth a crack.
I think this might be the best video I've watched on UA-cam
Extremely based opinion. I will however not say "That is my new favorite movie". I will just say "I love that movie and I am already looking forward to watching it again!"
Perfectly good statement. And people are gonna be saying that in DROVES when this big-project video drops in December, by the way.
DROVES.
I've been thinking about this too recently. Like you and many others have pointed out, this usually happens when you try to avoid making absolute statements that could get proven wrong in the future. We're afraid of being wrong because we see the consequences of being wrong. Sadly, being wrong is human, and we just seem to have collectively decided that we need to be perfect all the time.
There are also reasons like trying to communicate the degree to which you think something is the case. Not everyone deals well with very direct statements such as "you're funny." In some cases, such as during online discourse where body language and tone cannot be taken into account, saying something like, "you're funny," can easily run the risk of sounding sarcastic when that was not intended.
I do agree, though, that it is in our best interest to cut back on some of this stuff and just let ourselves be. It is very hard to police your thoughts, and if we continue to do so, we just won't end up saying anything. I have definitely seen this in my own experience where I just won't say anything out of fear of being wrong, even when I just want to yap all day. I've deleted countless comments, emails, texts, and so on, just because I felt they could be misconstrued somehow or because I feel I may have gotten something wrong. I don't like it. It drives me crazy. I, sometimes, genuinely envy people that seem to not be bothered by any of this. I wonder if their minds are as chaotic as this, or if they just actively choose to project very confident and direct fronts to people, while being doubting messes on the inside.
I do this A LOT. I don't really see it as a bad thing, since I personally consider being transparent about how little you may understand about yourself and the world to be, in a sense, wise.
Being too sure of oneself leads to ignorance. Everything in moderation, though.
All this to say, I write and do text-based roleplay a lot as a hobby, and I've had to consciously stamp out these "safety statements" when some of my characters are talking in order to give their speech a distinctive feel or excude a sense of certainty or confidence. When you have to find a way to make fictional people speak distinctively different from you as a writer, it forces you to analyze your own speaking patterns (or your writers' "voice") with a little bit more scrutiny 😂
I have no plans of drastically changing the way I speak though; that in itself would be tiring.
This is a good development. The world is uncertain, people are uncertain, and this form of expression is closer to the truth than trying to make bold statements all the time
Like said in Joseph Anderson's video "Subjectivity is Implied" we should know if something is not 100% accurate, but the message is the most important. It also enables us to connect and feel better in our own conversation
I don't think that's the case. In my opinion. the additions (as one i just used) help in making your speach more belive-able (dk) and open to reason by understanding your bias. For example saying something like "you're the best chef in the world" doesn't sound true at all and delusional at best and works only as a complinent akin to "you are good" . On the other hand, saying " I think you might be in top league of cooking" or smth is a lot easier to belive, closer to objective truth and leaves the room for perfection.
And the second part about being open to reason. Stating your opinions as if they are universal truths might alienate some people, cause it's usually a sign of high ego and stubborness. From expirience, it's more pleasant to discuss the matter with an open minded person who states "i think earth is a cube" than with a guy who just makes claims like "earth IS a cube".
This is a really interesting topic!! A thing that proves your point is that it took my brain a few seconds to think of a way to word this so it doesn’t have “sort of” or “kind of”, etc. My mind is blown!
Perchance this may just be one of the better videos I’ve seen in the last hour, in my opinion
This is a great video, but now that I think about it, I think it’s actually pretty annoying when I’m chatting with someone about, say, my favorite video game, and they DON’T use “safety statements.” When someone doesn’t like something I like, I’d much rather hear them say “I think this sucks” than “this sucks,” y’know? Otherwise it comes off as TOO strong, like trying to frame an opinion as fact. Still, it does feel like sometimes I can go a bit overboard, so I think it’s just good in moderation. Ultimately I’m glad this video brought this to my attention
Extremely interesting point! I definitely think you should've elaborated the other direction too though.
Words like "Extremely" and "Definitely"
Dunno about this one, chief.
Communication is more than just the words themselves -- the existence (or lack thereof) of what you're describing as useless filler words is part of the message they're used in conveying.
You mention it in the first part of the video, even -- to make definitive, matter-of-fact, "efficient" statements is to imply a level of certainty that simply isn't practical or realistic.
For instance, around 2:45,
"I think it may have gone too far."
Why didn't you just say, "it has gone too far?"
I'm guessing it's primarily because you're implying that "hey, I *could* be wrong here. I'm not so confident in my assertion that I'll preemptively dismiss any claims that may challenge its validity".
Of course, to say all of that WOULD sound unnatural -- nobody talks like that outside of very, VERY specific situations.
Language is a lot looser than you seem to think it is, at least based off of this take, at any rate.
This video isn't about "never ever express uncertainty". This video is about "we don't need to express uncertainty four times in a single statement, it reduces sincerity, dilutes the intended message, and might even reduce our own internal confidence on other matters".
Underrated channel omg
Welp, English is my second language and I was just copying what I believed to be a "normal" speaking pattern
like the editing style bro
Thanks!
I see this effect being a result not of the way the internet spreads miss information, but simply the way that information is presented in general, mainly in blogs and "top 10"s and we just absorved as a society..
Also sometimes it is funny to talk like that
I blame the Internet. These had hijacked my vocabs down to the unconscious level
I have no idea what the problem is here. "Safety statements" are a way of acknowledging the subjectivity of the thing you are saying. You say it means nothing but I say that idea is kind of ridiculous - it's the exact opposite. It means that the person is being open-minded or cautious when making claims that could be debated.
In a world filled with people making inflammatory claims left and right, this is the last thing we should be discouraging.
i get complaining about it if someone does ~3 safety statements in a sentence but i feel that's not really... common? on their own they're not really that offensive, or anything worth talking about, really. this just seems to be a video that is debating a problem at its most extreme to make it sound more interesting. there is really nothing wrong with what this person is talking about in the video and i'm not surprised the comments section is divided on this take.
I usually do this because I constantly question my memory, even though it’s actually pretty good. I’m also socially awkward afraid of saying the wrong thing.
I do it when I’m debating someone, especially on the internet, because I don’t want to seem angry or close-minded.
Incredible video. Thank you for making this
no one can disagree with me if I make my statements soft enough that im not saying anything at all
welp,
-I think- we're cooked.
i like that you bring up sincerity in this video beacuse i honestly believe that assessing sincerity vs. irony is one of the biggest (and most often overlooked) aspects of understanding our modern society, popular culture, vernacular, and media.. from the bottom upwards has crept irony from deep depths of ancient meme culture up to the modern 'multicultural' (many memetic sources) "brainrot" culture, bringing it mainstream... from the top down a pseudo-irony has crept, likely originating from the structures of corporate conglomeration.. the most recognizable of this kind of irony comes from media, a great example being marvel movies, which fear sincerity on such a fundamental level that you can never catch a break between the ironic self-referential, nod-to-the-audience type bits.... anyways, I'm rambling, but my main point is that there is a lot to be said about how we set our intentions on being ironic or being sincere... i generally agree on cutting the conditionals, but i don't think less verbose, full sincerity has to be the answer for everyone... i think swears, inside jokes, humorous verbosity, and sincerity can construct balanced speech that allows a wide variety of types of people to speak raw sincerity... to use your example, "you're funny" (already subtracted the conditonals) becomes "you're the funniest motherfucker i ever met" or whatever you want lol... sincerity + your own personal spin to connect to who you're saying it to..
Thats a great trick ngl
Undeciciveness is also a part for me.
I carry yes/no coin with me , cause arguing with her is the best way for me to choose.
To disagree with someone not to make a statement about self.
maybe because we've normalized treating people like garbage and shaming people for thinking their thoughts out loud lest, god forbid, it offends someone. Every thing we say has to be said with concession and uncertainty. Just have opinions and make friends and enemies. But the internet has put a megaphone to everyone who gets the most offended, so people feel the need to sugarcoat everything they say. It's not even entirely negative or anything, it's just really obvious to me that's the reason why.
This is an absolutely incredible video. Thank you for this.
Love the shot of hand sanitizer at 2:16, my favorite thing
i just dont wanna start an argument because of a definitive sentence, man :/
This video is quite beneficial, but I dont think I can ever actually stop my overusage of safety words, people have been using them for so long that they've been ingrained into casual everyday speech, but I'll try to be more direct when I truly mean something from now on either way
So glad this channels getting pushed by the algorithm a bit more, its very well deserved! You're funny
Thank you! These opinion/talking videos usually do a bit better anyway though, so it might not transfer to my normal stuff.