@@aadenclark6394 it's really not a big thing in our country plus i live in a house with the main heating being fire so it's not uncommon for a bit of smoke to leak when someone sloppily starts the fire, but it's under constant surveillance because it requires a bit of maintenance to keep the house warm(we take turns looking after it) and we don't keep it going at night so the only danger from the fire is our stupidity
Most video essays I see these days have a tendency to be so generic and act like they’re saying so much about nothing at all. But I was blown away by this, your writing style the structure of the video, the incredibly personal aspects of it. I never thought I’d see such a good video essay about Spotify wrapped
@@tosin_is_hungryfirst few beeps i was ready to comment smth like "lol smoke alarm is a paid actor" but by the end my eyes were swimming in tears 😭 and still are. thank u for making this
the bit about cynthia has me in shambles btw. i hate the idea of forgetting. the mere existence of illneses that make you forget make me upset. that was so uncalled for !!!!! no but srsly, this was beatifull. thx
I’ll admit, I teared up at hearing “Tosin. I remembered this time :)”. Im not quite sure how to put it, between the fear of losing myself to my own mind, hearing how shortly you were about to be gone, or maybe something else. It hit me. I used to work at a retirement home. Nothing major, I was a server in the cafeteria. We had a dedicated dinner time, every resident coming in at the same time. I’d have a section, sometimes it’d switch around, but each resident had their favorite spots. I got to know so many of them, I wanted to make sure I was the friendliest face they saw. There are people there. Tucked away, hidden because we can’t stand to see what becomes of us. But I saw them. I saw them every day, I spoke to them, learned about them, and yes, mourned them. I miss the lady that asked me for coke with lemon in it. The lady that asked me for poetry should’ve had more time on the planet. The man that had a heart attack (or maybe a stroke, I’m not sure) just outside of the dining room deserved to have one more meal. Maybe it would’ve been me serving. I don’t know. I’m going to be one of them someday. I hope I can remember the face of the server helping me. I hope I remember his name.
bro is one of the few people on this platform making actual video essays instead of yapping about nothing for hours to fill the empty void of our existence and make sure we don't have to sit with it. thank you bro
At a time of people popping out “video essays” that are hardly essays and more just descriptions of the world around us, to find your videos about your essays is the greatest gift.
"Some stories, I've found, are too important to be encumbered by a thing as pedestrian as time." As someone who's been to more funerals than weddings and seen a family member struggle with Alzheimer's, this really hit different, and spoke to the place in me that knows grief and tries to resist it. I'm new here, but I plan on sticking around. Fantastic work
Wasn’t expecting to be confronted with my fear of death and the passage of time but by god what a great video. Hearing you echo my thoughts about one day needing my mother and her not being there was truly a gut punch (in a good way). Genuinely holding back tears rn the video essay was so good.
this really felt like two separate videos and the way you bridged the concepts on either side made me wanna watch this over and over again. oga u know what ur doing keep at it
@@tosin_is_hungry Unless you are in soundproof room, it's almost impossible to "hear the silence", there's always things to be heard, the ticking of a clock, your own breathing, the sounds of the streets, the sing of the birds, even the voice inside our heads, it's practically impossible to stay at silence, and that's ok
was surprised to hear you say you were 18 when sick! dropped bc im the same age as you and you feel so wise beyond your years. this was so well written and i loved it so much, keep it up man
The way you write and express your words is so amazing, i always adore video essays like this, its so impactful and it has so many different emotions. And the way that the editing is done and the music choices its perfect. This is one of the best video essay ive seen in a long time and i do hope your account gets more attention in the future, this is truly a masterpiece of a video.
beautiful vid. cindy's story caught me so off guard. im at a similar impasse in my life where my grandma is showing signs of dementia among many other health problems. your story makes me a bit more hopeful. ty
Your video made my cry. I expected it to be a silly little dive into how Spotify wrapped sucked, and i got a philosophical, touching and such a raw story about humanity, the passage of time and the bittersweetness of our experiences. It made me stop and think about my year, my relationships with other people. I am in awe, Your storytelling and thoughtfulness is absolutely heartbreaking, thank You 🩷
Your video hits as a black teen in the uk who is also doing computer science while also writing stories and poetry. I like to think of time as a painting. You add stroke after stroke and your canvas grows with every bit of paint. Yet, if you never stop to actually look at your creation, you'll never see the culmination of all those strokes. Thanks man, i really do enjoy your thoughts and videos.
Woah! Time as a painting works very well! I worry it gives autonomy to the person experiencing the time rather than the time itself, but I suppose there is quite a bit of autonomy in the person.
I’m not sure what words to describe my appreciation on how great this art is, aesthetically pleasing to my mind, culturally considerate to humanity, but brilliantly beautiful work.
honestly, I put this video on not expecting much. no offense to you, but like others have said, video essays usually are cut of the same cloth. I loved how your words flowed like poetry and your keen storytelling. keep it up, man!!
Tosin this is the first video of yours I've come across, completely blew me away. I'm so impressed by how you captured SO MUCH wisdom and perspective in just over 23 minutes. Thanks for taking us along. I will eventually forget this video, but for while it's in my thoughts, I will remain grateful for the experience.
This is NOT what I thought I was going to get when I clicked on this and now I'm almost in tears haHA. What a gorgeous stunning meditation on life. Your command of language is intoxicating and I will be buying your books. Also the fire alarm beep is a total accident but it very much adds to the message of the video.
AMAZING video!! Most often, in video essays, the person will use jokes that almost demean their argument by using irony to make fun of themselves. No hate to those people of course, but it’s just such a breath of fresh air to see someone truly want to tell the world what they think without belittling the ideas in the process. Not only that, but your story telling skills are beyond phenomenal. Keep up the good work 🫶
Time blindness is an ass. ADHD can be an ass. This year feels like a lifetime lived and yet it's only been a year. And yet the year before feels incomprehensible and yet it's be two lifetimes ago if this year was a lifetime. Years kinda feel like numerous stories that you never finish, but keep writing more of. I got none of the music references, yet the narration guided me through what you meant still. I've been finding the style of music I enjoy and despite everything it's been the same thing, chiptune and videogame music, but I've just learned to accept this and keep an open mind to other people's music tastes and maybe even learn a bit about the story of why they listen to what they do. Mine's a twisted road with no clear beginning or end lol Thanks for the break, just the moment to observe how things are. I love the momentary break from composure at the end, that bit felt the must human I've seen in a video essay If I were locked in a room talking into a mix for half an hour with a beeping smoke alarm I'd also have a fucking hurting throat and be a lil annoyed at the smoke alarm
While I won’t say us Nigerians are rare, we are few and fair between when we occupy commentary spaces I absolutely shocked when I heard the close to home naija dialect and little slips of our accent mixed with such eloquent writing and structure in this vid. As a fellow Nigerian who felt stuck In how our community limits us to such places I’m pleasantly surprised and annoyed i found you just now.
your storytelling is immaculate. came here for a doomscroll video essay and left with the existential dread of living in a retirement home like the ones i've worked in and still do today, as well as your story of Cynthia. i hope she remembers you forever.
This video speaks so much about the things I have been worried about since becoming an adult. At almost 26, i’m so afraid of time passing me by and i often feel like I have nothing to show for it. I mourn every person important to me despite if they’re healthy or not and i’m full of grief even when there should be moments of joy. this video made me bawl. maybe i can learn to loosen my death grip on the passage of time
This video is phenomenal, reminds me a lot of Jacob Geller's best work although still clearly distinctly yours. I'll be sure to watch your past and future work, because this was a STRONG first impression.
tbh i could never handle working in an old folks home, not because of some fear of the passage of time for myself or something, but rather how i would absolutely lose my mind watching people wither away as slime slowly comes for them. thats the most real as hell horror to me, touching my empathy right at the core. they arent even suffering, theyre just....existing like that. thatd fuck me up so bad. i have a great appreciation for people and seeing someone in such a state after what i know is a long and winding story worth hearing........fuck, man
I share your obsession. Its eaten up my thoughts and my joy. I don't if this helps; everything you said, I already know. The conclusion that this fixation is counterproductive and therefore irrational has not shaken me out of it. But it is good to hear these things outside of my own head. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing this with the world. I've also been wrestling with the same thoughts of wasting my ever quickly dwindling time. I really appreciate your take on it all. Also, holy shit, "pronounce Mr. Henry dead" hit me like a truck. What fantastically devastating wordplay.
@@tosin_is_hungryi also kind of resonated with your opinion on the new kendrick album, it was definitely not bad but it was honestly his worst studio album for me
I was expecting some generic thing I could just put on in the background but your story gripped me. This was genuinely moving. I had to do volunteer work for school when I was sixteen, and I chose to help in a retirement home, just help with entertainment for the old volks there. It was pretty much how you described it, but on the second day an old man nearly died of a stroke right in front of me, and although I was fine, and he was fine too after the ambulance got there, it still has left a big impression on me to this day.
Your video was thoughtful and beautifully written. It feels particularly impactful to hear a fellow 21 year old's perspective on topics I have been grappling with.
One idea I had that's helped me get a grip on the passage of time has been "I will decide how I die." Not that I have much control over this (and don't worry I don't plan using said control to do so), but in deciding how to die, I'm forced to consider how I'll live.
this is the first time a video essay has made me cry. it reminded me of my best friend who i haven't seen in months, of long talks at three am, of the chapter i need to finish writing, of my grandma and of a quiet balcony. not because of anything particular, just because. thank you. i'll be coming back to this.
Top of my wrapped was Rammstein, but I use so many different platforms to listen and discover music. The only thing that really matters to me is that this year I discovered artists I really liked: Controlled Bleeding, Painkiller, Jarboe, Hoplites, Party Cannon, Wormlust, Lou Reed, Neurosis (I could go on even more, but it would make this comment too long.) If you told me 4 years ago that I would be really into metal and noise and shape who I am, I wouldn't believe you.
@@1_taxevaser I have Bluesky that is CultofHall, same exact @ I use for Insta (but I don't use it much aside from lurking for patches and Bands.) I also think I use CultOfHall for Discord.
The mention of Alec Benjamin and Kendrick in the same sentence as AJR is crazy on several levels. You should do a video on the eclectic ear since yours is as eclectic as they come.
thank you so so much for this video essay... i have a disorder where i deal with extreme dissociation, and as such my working memory is poor to the point where i can forget major details about movies i've watched right after leaving the theatre. it's hard to live life like this knowing my enjoyment is temporary and that time continues on without the events that brought me temporary joy. it's even to the point where it feels pointless experiencing joy and fun things because they'll just disappear. it's been almost a decade and ive been stuck in this loop however, this essay brings me hope and rings true to a philosophy on life i've been trying to have for a while: enjoy life in the moment. it doesnt matter how far away this moment will eventually seem, because you're experiencing it *now* and that's what's important. find joy in everything you can, temporary memories are still worth experiencing. dont let your life waste away agonizing over the past and future
This actually gives me comfort. I may be crappy to say this, but not because I know other people experience existential crisis’s, but cuz I don’t matter. None of us matter, we’re all fragments of different personalities and mannerisms set in bodies to grow up and die, yeah? I’ve always had this gnawing feeling that I’m a waste of air and that I don’t deserve food or recourses or time itself. But I don’t matter just as much as everyone else and it gives me comfort to think about that. It’s really interesting how existential crisis’s can balance each other out. I can’t wait to write about it with my characters ^^ thank you for the amazing video dude.
What a beautiful marriage of topics that seemingly have so little in common. I am not too good at putting my words to paper anymore, but I just have to say - this resonates deeply. This is the video that got me to stop binge watching and made me miss the person I was before the pandemic. I can't think of higher praise than that. Wherever life takes you, know you've made an impact. Stellar work
this is beyond inspiring. recently my grandfather had a stroke in front of me and it really affected me. as someone who's also lost in life just trying to chase a dream, who's been recently faced with the reality of our mortality and who particularly struggles with living presently and anxious thoughts this video really deeply resonates. The smoke alarm is beautiful and your attitude towards it made me smile. Please never stop making art.
This was amazing, and I really loved the feeling I felt with these lines: ,, I’m still asleep,” ,,pronounce mr. Henry dead,” and when Cynthia remembered your name, it was so beautiful. Your writing is very inspiring!!
This is the first of your essays that I've listened to, and I just want to say it's also one of the first youtube essay I've listened to all the way through in a hot minute. Even if it seems long, it's one of the better pieces of writing I've heard. There's no unnecessary repetition or long, drawn out rants that don't seem to matter. Also, the concept of time is very fascinating. I like to contemplate the blip that individual human lives are, while at the same time being placed in so much infinity. Anyway, great stuff you're doing!
SHIT, THIS IS GOOD, MADE ME THINK ABOUT HOW IM ALWAYS SAVING MY ASPIRATIONS FOR LATER AND HOW IM ALWAYS PRACTICING SO THAT I CAN MAKE THE COMIC IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE SOMEDAY, BUT SOMEDAY WILL BECOME TODAY, AND WHAT WILL I DO THEN? THIS VIDEO MADE ME TEAR UP, YOUR WORDS ARE POWERFUL. THANK YOU
I enjoyed this, thanks Tosin! I specifically related a lot to the part around 10:15 with these albums being connected to your experience working at the care facility. I got to spend a week in Colorado visiting friends in high school, and we got snowed in so I had to stay in the airport for another ~2.5 days. The first day, some other friends were there too, and we had the bliss of getting extra time together when we all thought the trip would end. Then, after everyone else had managed to get flights and leave, I was alone in the airport for ~36hrs. It was a really weird experience, and I think I listened to Plastic Beach - Gorillaz maybe 8 times. Every time I hear songs from that album, I think back to the sudden change from being loose in the airport at 16 with like 10 friends, to being alone and just waiting, with no goal and just thinking a lot. I also had a similar experience to your story with Mr. Henry a few months ago, when a friend suddenly died in a car accident. It’s funny how no matter how much you think generally about death and try to become aware of it, it’s just not the same until it’s real. I particularly liked the through line in the video of being aware of what happens and observing your life, not letting it pass by. I’m thinking about getting married, and so everything can become small and unimportant except in its relation to that. But ultimately, I can’t know if I will “hold that woman” for a lifetime, or never again, and so making the most of life is not being only focused on the future. One of the most amazing experiences I ever had was being with my Aunt Alice shortly before she died. She was clearly ready, and she seemed so overwhelmingly warm in the way she talked. Not like a drunk person complimenting everyone, but just seeing her frail face (she was physically healthy much longer than expected but always had a slight build) turn and look at people and give them a 55% smiling look, holding eye contact a long time, it was amazing. It made me turn away from my current stresses and think about other people I cared about, and reevaluate my relationship with my dad and grudges I held (and still hold, even though I don’t really want to) against him. Thanks again!
if I had a dollar for every video essay that made me hyper-aware of the unstoppable passage of time, maybe I'd have enough paper to wipe all of those tears and snot off my fave
You have such a beautiful way with words. You already had me hooked, talking about Don‘t Throw out my Legos, I‘ve listened to, cried to, and contemplated it alot. All so I could avoid dealing with my perceptions of past, present, and future. As you‘ve so beautifully put it: I‘ve had the „time to throw out my legos, just not to mourn them“. Thank you for the reminder to respect the past, experience the present, and look forward to the future.
Sometimes videoessays feel like they lost themselves midway and end up in ramblings, but this guy right here gets it, he knows hoe to make a listener understanda thought and then proposes reflection. Feels like discovering Jacob Geller again. Kudos for this wonderful experience!
Slow clap. I didn't know what I was about to watch when I clicked, but I'm glad I did, it made me laugh and then cry a little at the end. This was wonderful, I especially loved the part with you observing the life in the retirement home.
I watched this video while on my way to see my grandma at a retirement home. She has far developed Alzheimers and isn't able to speak. Despite that, she is one of the warmest people that I know, the workers at the retirement home say the same. This video made me think about how she perceives the time between each fanily visit, if she even is able to comprehend that flow of time
i didn't get what i thought i would when i clicked on this video, but i'm thinking maybe i got exactly what i needed instead. i fear you've robbed me of all words. so just thank you
excellent video i don't have the time to express all of my thoughts in this comment. i have to work these 23 minutes i am glad to have 'wasted,' so much more than the next 8 to be spent meaninglessly so that i can eat
You made me stop my drawing (listening to UA-cam while drawing is a hobby of mine) and really sit with what you said several times. I don’t think you rambled. As a fellow adhd person sometimes you have to paint the entire picture for it to be understood other times you just need a suggestion of it and people understand, I think a topic like this requires some time, ironically, and ramblings to paint it. As someone who was horribly ill for 3 years nearly bed ridden for most of it and still has chronic pain, I cannot remember how old I am. I know I’m in my 20s but I can’t remember what number. I don’t care, I’m happy to be alive and with the time I have. I have seizures that often leave my memory hazy for days, and still recovering from the hell I went through I cannot tell you what my future holds. My future is hidden and I can’t remember much of my past. I was forced to live in the present because of this but now I am content with it. Time both moves slowly but somehow days months and years are still passing. The video resonated deeply with me and I’m glad UA-cam recommended it to me and I discovered your channel.
what a truly beautiful video, your way with words is so evocative! when i think about death i often come back to the ancient roman practice of the triumphs, where a magnificent parade was put on for the emperor or other important individuals but whilst they would be doing such a vain display, part of the triumph was a slave repeating to the host "mememnto mori" or, remember you will die. death isn't something to fear but its not something to forget the weight of either. PS love your books btw
oh my god, this was amazing. it feels like you looked into my soul and empathized directly with it, and in an age where so many video essayists just waffle on about nothing using big words, i was so shaken. the feeling nearly brought me to tears. this year i've felt the highest of highs and definitely the lowest lows, but it all feels like lifetimes ago. this video put it all into perspective and beautifully with such profound personal insight, so thank you. i wish you all the success in the world. 💜
damn.... my sister died early this year... this video made me think a lot. Before my sister died i had the song "two coffins by Against Me!" on loop, for hours a day I had it playing while I was painting in art class. A few weeks later, after I finished a drawing of a coffin, I was told my sister was in hospice. I only visited her once their. I was too scared to go back. when she held my hand and told me she'd see me again soon, and not in the afterlife kind of way, I cried knowing I did not have the heart to go back again. I just hope.... She was happy with her last days
When i opened this video i thought 'huh some essay about how we're doomed by corporations and AI' but got a wonderful essay, that made me feel things, thanks for making it mister.
I did not expect this quality of content when I clicked on this. This is beyond anything I would have expected. Thank you for making me think and I thank the UA-cam algorithm for showing me your channel!
This reminds me of another high quality guy, Face full of eyes. Not many people I see who are able to describe their view of the world so poetically, thank you for sharing.
Can i just say i missed video essays like this? After they got popular people just started talking for hours on end and it became so hard to find videos as well thought as yours Remarkable
So cool that we both did comp sci, are the same age, and I our spotify wrappeds have significant overlap. Things are so much simpler than we make them out to be
Seeing this notification in the middle of the night was unsettling.
The smoke alarm beeps is so hilarious that it makes me want to add it digitally to a video even though i don't have a smoke detector
What do you mean you don’t have a smoke detector?!
@@aadenclark6394lol😂
@@aadenclark6394 it's really not a big thing in our country plus i live in a house with the main heating being fire so it's not uncommon for a bit of smoke to leak when someone sloppily starts the fire, but it's under constant surveillance because it requires a bit of maintenance to keep the house warm(we take turns looking after it) and we don't keep it going at night so the only danger from the fire is our stupidity
@@good-sofado you have electricity in the house ?
@spacetoastjam7656 yes, it's way cheaper not to use it for heating
Most video essays I see these days have a tendency to be so generic and act like they’re saying so much about nothing at all. But I was blown away by this, your writing style the structure of the video, the incredibly personal aspects of it. I never thought I’d see such a good video essay about Spotify wrapped
I really appreciate it!
the smoke detector feels like a marker of passage of time and it made me emotional every time it beeped in the video.
YES! YES! YES! YES!
@@tosin_is_hungryfirst few beeps i was ready to comment smth like "lol smoke alarm is a paid actor" but by the end my eyes were swimming in tears 😭 and still are. thank u for making this
Thank you for watching! 😭
there’s even a beep on the word time at least once
@@MykiiMescal It's all apart of my artistic vision. I swear. I swear this to you.
23 minutes and 40 seconds closer now. worth it
Such a beautiful thing to say, compacted in such a tiny comment. If I was a better man I'd be crying right now.
Thank you for putting it more succinctly than I ever could.
the way i whipped my head over to my phone when you said “i’m still asleep” I KNOW THIS IS ABOUT TO BE GOOD
You know what time it is.
AND ARE WE STILL FRIENDS PLAYED.... I LOCKED IN
"Pronounce Mister Henry Dead." Made me pause my game and stare at the wall. Very impactful.
It's always been my dream to make people pause their games and stare at the wall. 😭
the bit about cynthia has me in shambles btw. i hate the idea of forgetting. the mere existence of illneses that make you forget make me upset. that was so uncalled for !!!!!
no but srsly, this was beatifull. thx
Spotify Wrapped, I'm Gonna Start to Cry
Wait!
@@tosin_is_hungrywe're waiting 🙏🗣️
I’ll admit, I teared up at hearing “Tosin. I remembered this time :)”. Im not quite sure how to put it, between the fear of losing myself to my own mind, hearing how shortly you were about to be gone, or maybe something else. It hit me.
I used to work at a retirement home. Nothing major, I was a server in the cafeteria. We had a dedicated dinner time, every resident coming in at the same time. I’d have a section, sometimes it’d switch around, but each resident had their favorite spots. I got to know so many of them, I wanted to make sure I was the friendliest face they saw.
There are people there. Tucked away, hidden because we can’t stand to see what becomes of us. But I saw them. I saw them every day, I spoke to them, learned about them, and yes, mourned them. I miss the lady that asked me for coke with lemon in it. The lady that asked me for poetry should’ve had more time on the planet. The man that had a heart attack (or maybe a stroke, I’m not sure) just outside of the dining room deserved to have one more meal. Maybe it would’ve been me serving.
I don’t know. I’m going to be one of them someday. I hope I can remember the face of the server helping me. I hope I remember his name.
Beautiful. Jesus. I hope we can all remember his name.
bro is one of the few people on this platform making actual video essays instead of yapping about nothing for hours to fill the empty void of our existence and make sure we don't have to sit with it. thank you bro
At a time of people popping out “video essays” that are hardly essays and more just descriptions of the world around us, to find your videos about your essays is the greatest gift.
"It took the passage of time to shrink the memory in my head for me to wrap my hand around it and understand" is a good explanation
made my philosophy brain happy--ppl don't usually look for depth like this and it kills me. thanks for speaking life
"Some stories, I've found, are too important to be encumbered by a thing as pedestrian as time."
As someone who's been to more funerals than weddings and seen a family member struggle with Alzheimer's, this really hit different, and spoke to the place in me that knows grief and tries to resist it. I'm new here, but I plan on sticking around. Fantastic work
I cant come up with better compliments than in the comments but holy shit I’ll be watching this a second time. Amazing video thank you.
Thanks! Please do. 😭
Wasn’t expecting to be confronted with my fear of death and the passage of time but by god what a great video. Hearing you echo my thoughts about one day needing my mother and her not being there was truly a gut punch (in a good way). Genuinely holding back tears rn the video essay was so good.
I was so worried the interlude was superfluous.😭
this really felt like two separate videos and the way you bridged the concepts on either side made me wanna watch this over and over again. oga u know what ur doing keep at it
Thank you!
181.85 consecutive days of Spotify, 181 DAYS, that's how many days of Spotify I listened to
Thoughts on silence?
@@tosin_is_hungry Unless you are in soundproof room, it's almost impossible to "hear the silence", there's always things to be heard, the ticking of a clock, your own breathing, the sounds of the streets, the sing of the birds, even the voice inside our heads, it's practically impossible to stay at silence, and that's ok
@@tosin_is_hungry Oh I like it just...... every blue moon or so
If you're doing other things with that time, is it wrong to punctuate it with song?
was surprised to hear you say you were 18 when sick! dropped bc im the same age as you and you feel so wise beyond your years. this was so well written and i loved it so much, keep it up man
The way you write and express your words is so amazing, i always adore video essays like this, its so impactful and it has so many different emotions. And the way that the editing is done and the music choices its perfect. This is one of the best video essay ive seen in a long time and i do hope your account gets more attention in the future, this is truly a masterpiece of a video.
beautiful vid. cindy's story caught me so off guard. im at a similar impasse in my life where my grandma is showing signs of dementia among many other health problems. your story makes me a bit more hopeful. ty
Thanks for commenting, man, I'm sorry about your grandmother.
Your video made my cry. I expected it to be a silly little dive into how Spotify wrapped sucked, and i got a philosophical, touching and such a raw story about humanity, the passage of time and the bittersweetness of our experiences. It made me stop and think about my year, my relationships with other people. I am in awe, Your storytelling and thoughtfulness is absolutely heartbreaking, thank You 🩷
Thank you so much. 😭
Your video hits as a black teen in the uk who is also doing computer science while also writing stories and poetry. I like to think of time as a painting. You add stroke after stroke and your canvas grows with every bit of paint. Yet, if you never stop to actually look at your creation, you'll never see the culmination of all those strokes. Thanks man, i really do enjoy your thoughts and videos.
Woah! Time as a painting works very well! I worry it gives autonomy to the person experiencing the time rather than the time itself, but I suppose there is quite a bit of autonomy in the person.
10:45 this part was genuinely really moving, you're amazing, but the "oh noo" killed me 😭 😭
I’m not sure what words to describe my appreciation on how great this art is, aesthetically pleasing to my mind, culturally considerate to humanity, but brilliantly beautiful work.
Jesus. Thank you, friend.
honestly, I put this video on not expecting much. no offense to you, but like others have said, video essays usually are cut of the same cloth. I loved how your words flowed like poetry and your keen storytelling. keep it up, man!!
Tosin this is the first video of yours I've come across, completely blew me away. I'm so impressed by how you captured SO MUCH wisdom and perspective in just over 23 minutes. Thanks for taking us along. I will eventually forget this video, but for while it's in my thoughts, I will remain grateful for the experience.
Likewise, friend. Beautiful.
This is NOT what I thought I was going to get when I clicked on this and now I'm almost in tears haHA. What a gorgeous stunning meditation on life. Your command of language is intoxicating and I will be buying your books. Also the fire alarm beep is a total accident but it very much adds to the message of the video.
Thank you for buying the book! 😭
AMAZING video!! Most often, in video essays, the person will use jokes that almost demean their argument by using irony to make fun of themselves. No hate to those people of course, but it’s just such a breath of fresh air to see someone truly want to tell the world what they think without belittling the ideas in the process. Not only that, but your story telling skills are beyond phenomenal. Keep up the good work 🫶
Yeah, I'm a little self-conscious about my earnestness, but it's all I have. Thank you for the kind words.
Time blindness is an ass. ADHD can be an ass.
This year feels like a lifetime lived and yet it's only been a year. And yet the year before feels incomprehensible and yet it's be two lifetimes ago if this year was a lifetime. Years kinda feel like numerous stories that you never finish, but keep writing more of.
I got none of the music references, yet the narration guided me through what you meant still. I've been finding the style of music I enjoy and despite everything it's been the same thing, chiptune and videogame music, but I've just learned to accept this and keep an open mind to other people's music tastes and maybe even learn a bit about the story of why they listen to what they do. Mine's a twisted road with no clear beginning or end lol
Thanks for the break, just the moment to observe how things are. I love the momentary break from composure at the end, that bit felt the must human I've seen in a video essay
If I were locked in a room talking into a mix for half an hour with a beeping smoke alarm I'd also have a fucking hurting throat and be a lil annoyed at the smoke alarm
While I won’t say us Nigerians are rare, we are few and fair between when we occupy commentary spaces I absolutely shocked when I heard the close to home naija dialect and little slips of our accent mixed with such eloquent writing and structure in this vid. As a fellow Nigerian who felt stuck In how our community limits us to such places I’m pleasantly surprised and annoyed i found you just now.
your storytelling is immaculate. came here for a doomscroll video essay and left with the existential dread of living in a retirement home like the ones i've worked in and still do today, as well as your story of Cynthia. i hope she remembers you forever.
I hope I remember her, too.
This is my first impression of you. My what an impression. This was genuinely beautiful. Thank you.
😭😭 My first impression of you is beautiful as well.
This video speaks so much about the things I have been worried about since becoming an adult. At almost 26, i’m so afraid of time passing me by and i often feel like I have nothing to show for it. I mourn every person important to me despite if they’re healthy or not and i’m full of grief even when there should be moments of joy. this video made me bawl. maybe i can learn to loosen my death grip on the passage of time
This video is phenomenal, reminds me a lot of Jacob Geller's best work although still clearly distinctly yours. I'll be sure to watch your past and future work, because this was a STRONG first impression.
One of the best videos I have seen in a long time. Thank you for grounding me in the present so beautifully.
What a way to end 2024. This was the last video for me for this year. Worth every second. Thank you, Tosin.
And thank you for watching. Happy new year.
tbh i could never handle working in an old folks home, not because of some fear of the passage of time for myself or something, but rather how i would absolutely lose my mind watching people wither away as slime slowly comes for them. thats the most real as hell horror to me, touching my empathy right at the core. they arent even suffering, theyre just....existing like that. thatd fuck me up so bad. i have a great appreciation for people and seeing someone in such a state after what i know is a long and winding story worth hearing........fuck, man
Incredible essay and truly wonderful storytelling! Just these 24 minutes made me want to improve my own writing. Can't wait to see more!
I share your obsession. Its eaten up my thoughts and my joy. I don't if this helps; everything you said, I already know. The conclusion that this fixation is counterproductive and therefore irrational has not shaken me out of it. But it is good to hear these things outside of my own head. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing this with the world. I've also been wrestling with the same thoughts of wasting my ever quickly dwindling time. I really appreciate your take on it all.
Also, holy shit, "pronounce Mr. Henry dead" hit me like a truck. What fantastically devastating wordplay.
Bruh it hit me like a truck too. 😭 Shit's not even wordplay that actually happened.
this was so goated
i hope you go far tosin...from one nigerian to another
Thank you!
@@tosin_is_hungryi also kind of resonated with your opinion on the new kendrick album, it was definitely not bad but it was honestly his worst studio album for me
@@mps64 Yeah, I've kind of grown disillusioned with the Kendrick narrative at this point.
Tosin is a man who never misses. The essays always feel so real and so close, so revealing, like the 1st song on an aminé album
My brother!
I was expecting some generic thing I could just put on in the background but your story gripped me. This was genuinely moving. I had to do volunteer work for school when I was sixteen, and I chose to help in a retirement home, just help with entertainment for the old volks there. It was pretty much how you described it, but on the second day an old man nearly died of a stroke right in front of me, and although I was fine, and he was fine too after the ambulance got there, it still has left a big impression on me to this day.
man... this legit made me cry. one of the most beautiful video essays on this platform. thank you.
Your video was thoughtful and beautifully written. It feels particularly impactful to hear a fellow 21 year old's perspective on topics I have been grappling with.
you have poked my soul. the words you wrote felt like looking in a mirror. thank you for a good moment.
Wow! I need more videos like this, what a great video essay about such a personal yet universal topic. subscribed.
Thank you!
Shoutout from Brazil and marry christmas, great video as always man
One idea I had that's helped me get a grip on the passage of time has been "I will decide how I die." Not that I have much control over this (and don't worry I don't plan using said control to do so), but in deciding how to die, I'm forced to consider how I'll live.
this is the first time a video essay has made me cry. it reminded me of my best friend who i haven't seen in months, of long talks at three am, of the chapter i need to finish writing, of my grandma and of a quiet balcony. not because of anything particular, just because. thank you. i'll be coming back to this.
Finish that chapter and I'll finish mine.
you’ve got the kind of way with words that makes me want to bawl and hug everyone i love, hope way more people see this video :,)
Liberal ferrets is the best description of AJR I’ve ever heard and they’ve been in my top artists for 3-4 years now 😭
Every Video of you is a Banger!!
Top of my wrapped was Rammstein, but I use so many different platforms to listen and discover music. The only thing that really matters to me is that this year I discovered artists I really liked: Controlled Bleeding, Painkiller, Jarboe, Hoplites, Party Cannon, Wormlust, Lou Reed, Neurosis (I could go on even more, but it would make this comment too long.) If you told me 4 years ago that I would be really into metal and noise and shape who I am, I wouldn't believe you.
you're so cool can we be friends
@@1_taxevaser YES!!!! I need more Friends.
@@asapling do you have insta? i can dm you there if you do
@@asapling i think youtube removed my comment, if you can give me your @ i'll text you
@@1_taxevaser I have Bluesky that is CultofHall, same exact @ I use for Insta (but I don't use it much aside from lurking for patches and Bands.) I also think I use CultOfHall for Discord.
The mention of Alec Benjamin and Kendrick in the same sentence as AJR is crazy on several levels. You should do a video on the eclectic ear since yours is as eclectic as they come.
Thank you, lmfao.
@@tosin_is_hungryI was not expecting Alex Benjamin to drop in between those❤❤😂
thank you so so much for this video essay... i have a disorder where i deal with extreme dissociation, and as such my working memory is poor to the point where i can forget major details about movies i've watched right after leaving the theatre. it's hard to live life like this knowing my enjoyment is temporary and that time continues on without the events that brought me temporary joy. it's even to the point where it feels pointless experiencing joy and fun things because they'll just disappear. it's been almost a decade and ive been stuck in this loop
however, this essay brings me hope and rings true to a philosophy on life i've been trying to have for a while: enjoy life in the moment. it doesnt matter how far away this moment will eventually seem, because you're experiencing it *now* and that's what's important. find joy in everything you can, temporary memories are still worth experiencing. dont let your life waste away agonizing over the past and future
It makes me happy to know my work connects with you this way. Thank you for sharing, friend.
woww this was a good video. refreshing change of pace from everything else out there, can’t wait to see what you make next
This actually gives me comfort. I may be crappy to say this, but not because I know other people experience existential crisis’s, but cuz I don’t matter. None of us matter, we’re all fragments of different personalities and mannerisms set in bodies to grow up and die, yeah? I’ve always had this gnawing feeling that I’m a waste of air and that I don’t deserve food or recourses or time itself. But I don’t matter just as much as everyone else and it gives me comfort to think about that. It’s really interesting how existential crisis’s can balance each other out. I can’t wait to write about it with my characters ^^ thank you for the amazing video dude.
What a beautiful marriage of topics that seemingly have so little in common.
I am not too good at putting my words to paper anymore, but I just have to say - this resonates deeply. This is the video that got me to stop binge watching and made me miss the person I was before the pandemic. I can't think of higher praise than that.
Wherever life takes you, know you've made an impact. Stellar work
throwing on or off the drugs at the end was perfect
It SHOWS that you wrote a book. Like holy hell. Thank you
genuinely trying not to to tear up this was beautiful and god damn did it HURT
this is beyond inspiring. recently my grandfather had a stroke in front of me and it really affected me. as someone who's also lost in life just trying to chase a dream, who's been recently faced with the reality of our mortality and who particularly struggles with living presently and anxious thoughts this video really deeply resonates. The smoke alarm is beautiful and your attitude towards it made me smile. Please never stop making art.
Insane algorithm pull, absolutely love these types of videos. Can’t believe you’re only at 2k subs
This was amazing, and I really loved the feeling I felt with these lines: ,, I’m still asleep,” ,,pronounce mr. Henry dead,” and when Cynthia remembered your name, it was so beautiful. Your writing is very inspiring!!
This is the first of your essays that I've listened to, and I just want to say it's also one of the first youtube essay I've listened to all the way through in a hot minute. Even if it seems long, it's one of the better pieces of writing I've heard. There's no unnecessary repetition or long, drawn out rants that don't seem to matter.
Also, the concept of time is very fascinating. I like to contemplate the blip that individual human lives are, while at the same time being placed in so much infinity. Anyway, great stuff you're doing!
SHIT, THIS IS GOOD, MADE ME THINK ABOUT HOW IM ALWAYS SAVING MY ASPIRATIONS FOR LATER AND HOW IM ALWAYS PRACTICING SO THAT I CAN MAKE THE COMIC IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE SOMEDAY, BUT SOMEDAY WILL BECOME TODAY, AND WHAT WILL I DO THEN? THIS VIDEO MADE ME TEAR UP, YOUR WORDS ARE POWERFUL. THANK YOU
SURE!
This video popped up on my recommended and I’m so glad it did, you’ve just got a new subscriber
I enjoyed this, thanks Tosin! I specifically related a lot to the part around 10:15 with these albums being connected to your experience working at the care facility. I got to spend a week in Colorado visiting friends in high school, and we got snowed in so I had to stay in the airport for another ~2.5 days. The first day, some other friends were there too, and we had the bliss of getting extra time together when we all thought the trip would end. Then, after everyone else had managed to get flights and leave, I was alone in the airport for ~36hrs. It was a really weird experience, and I think I listened to Plastic Beach - Gorillaz maybe 8 times. Every time I hear songs from that album, I think back to the sudden change from being loose in the airport at 16 with like 10 friends, to being alone and just waiting, with no goal and just thinking a lot.
I also had a similar experience to your story with Mr. Henry a few months ago, when a friend suddenly died in a car accident. It’s funny how no matter how much you think generally about death and try to become aware of it, it’s just not the same until it’s real.
I particularly liked the through line in the video of being aware of what happens and observing your life, not letting it pass by. I’m thinking about getting married, and so everything can become small and unimportant except in its relation to that. But ultimately, I can’t know if I will “hold that woman” for a lifetime, or never again, and so making the most of life is not being only focused on the future.
One of the most amazing experiences I ever had was being with my Aunt Alice shortly before she died. She was clearly ready, and she seemed so overwhelmingly warm in the way she talked. Not like a drunk person complimenting everyone, but just seeing her frail face (she was physically healthy much longer than expected but always had a slight build) turn and look at people and give them a 55% smiling look, holding eye contact a long time, it was amazing. It made me turn away from my current stresses and think about other people I cared about, and reevaluate my relationship with my dad and grudges I held (and still hold, even though I don’t really want to) against him.
Thanks again!
Beautiful. Beautiful.
if I had a dollar for every video essay that made me hyper-aware of the unstoppable passage of time, maybe I'd have enough paper to wipe all of those tears and snot off my fave
You have such a beautiful way with words.
You already had me hooked, talking about Don‘t Throw out my Legos, I‘ve listened to, cried to, and contemplated it alot. All so I could avoid dealing with my perceptions of past, present, and future. As you‘ve so beautifully put it: I‘ve had the „time to throw out my legos, just not to mourn them“.
Thank you for the reminder to respect the past, experience the present, and look forward to the future.
Sometimes videoessays feel like they lost themselves midway and end up in ramblings, but this guy right here gets it, he knows hoe to make a listener understanda thought and then proposes reflection. Feels like discovering Jacob Geller again. Kudos for this wonderful experience!
WOAH! I love Jacob Geller! He's a huge inspiration!
i’m your 3000th follower, and i am beyond proud of that. this essay through me out of the water and through the sky, all the way to literal space
Slow clap. I didn't know what I was about to watch when I clicked, but I'm glad I did, it made me laugh and then cry a little at the end. This was wonderful, I especially loved the part with you observing the life in the retirement home.
I watched this video while on my way to see my grandma at a retirement home. She has far developed Alzheimers and isn't able to speak. Despite that, she is one of the warmest people that I know, the workers at the retirement home say the same. This video made me think about how she perceives the time between each fanily visit, if she even is able to comprehend that flow of time
i didn't get what i thought i would when i clicked on this video, but i'm thinking maybe i got exactly what i needed instead. i fear you've robbed me of all words. so just thank you
deeply impactful and so full of love, i fear im not well enough to digest it fully. thank you for sharing
that interlude worked really well!
excellent video
i don't have the time to express all of my thoughts in this comment. i have to work
these 23 minutes i am glad to have 'wasted,' so much more than the next 8 to be spent meaninglessly so that i can eat
You made me stop my drawing (listening to UA-cam while drawing is a hobby of mine) and really sit with what you said several times. I don’t think you rambled. As a fellow adhd person sometimes you have to paint the entire picture for it to be understood other times you just need a suggestion of it and people understand, I think a topic like this requires some time, ironically, and ramblings to paint it.
As someone who was horribly ill for 3 years nearly bed ridden for most of it and still has chronic pain, I cannot remember how old I am. I know I’m in my 20s but I can’t remember what number. I don’t care, I’m happy to be alive and with the time I have. I have seizures that often leave my memory hazy for days, and still recovering from the hell I went through I cannot tell you what my future holds. My future is hidden and I can’t remember much of my past. I was forced to live in the present because of this but now I am content with it. Time both moves slowly but somehow days months and years are still passing. The video resonated deeply with me and I’m glad UA-cam recommended it to me and I discovered your channel.
I'm glad you came.
wow. this was incredible. I was not ready for how deep this would be. thank you.
what a truly beautiful video, your way with words is so evocative! when i think about death i often come back to the ancient roman practice of the triumphs, where a magnificent parade was put on for the emperor or other important individuals but whilst they would be doing such a vain display, part of the triumph was a slave repeating to the host "mememnto mori" or, remember you will die. death isn't something to fear but its not something to forget the weight of either. PS love your books btw
Wow! Thanks!
oh my god, this was amazing. it feels like you looked into my soul and empathized directly with it, and in an age where so many video essayists just waffle on about nothing using big words, i was so shaken. the feeling nearly brought me to tears. this year i've felt the highest of highs and definitely the lowest lows, but it all feels like lifetimes ago. this video put it all into perspective and beautifully with such profound personal insight, so thank you. i wish you all the success in the world. 💜
This videocis an absolute piece if art WOAW!!!! Thank you so much for making this, it gave me a lot to think about. 💛💛💛
damn.... my sister died early this year... this video made me think a lot. Before my sister died i had the song "two coffins by Against Me!" on loop, for hours a day I had it playing while I was painting in art class. A few weeks later, after I finished a drawing of a coffin, I was told my sister was in hospice.
I only visited her once their.
I was too scared to go back.
when she held my hand and told me she'd see me again soon, and not in the afterlife kind of way, I cried knowing I did not have the heart to go back again.
I just hope.... She was happy with her last days
I hope she was happy too.
When i opened this video i thought 'huh some essay about how we're doomed by corporations and AI' but got a wonderful essay, that made me feel things, thanks for making it mister.
I will be buying one of your books now!! Really enjoyed your style
Hope you enjoy it!
I did not expect this quality of content when I clicked on this. This is beyond anything I would have expected. Thank you for making me think and I thank the UA-cam algorithm for showing me your channel!
This was a whole experience, hope you show up on my recommended again.
You are a visionary. Keep em coming
This reminds me of another high quality guy, Face full of eyes. Not many people I see who are able to describe their view of the world so poetically, thank you for sharing.
this has made me want to do something with my time. thank you for making this video :)
Lovely video, man. Thanks for sharing.
I also thought time was moving quick at 21… I’m at 31 now and this year felt like 3 months.
That intro sounded like poetry. Fantastic job with this whole video.
Can i just say i missed video essays like this? After they got popular people just started talking for hours on end and it became so hard to find videos as well thought as yours
Remarkable
this was beautiful. i teared up a bit. thank you
Yeah this one is gonna pop off, great video and excellent writing
So cool that we both did comp sci, are the same age, and I our spotify wrappeds have significant overlap. Things are so much simpler than we make them out to be
Ha! My brother.