How so? In the scenario you described, you only think you're aware of something that your peer is not, which assuredly they are as well. You don't actually understand what makes you correct or what makes them incorrect. Einstein said you don't really know something until you can adequately explain it to others. I would argue that people thinking their right without having the knowledge to back it up is a much more severe problem than not being able to put someone in their place.
Fucking hell, I bet get invited to lots of dinner parties. I know that cheese is not made from cooking milk, therefore I know that the other person is wrong. I don't understand why you're being such a colossal pedant over this.
I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it. I was simply pointing out that people thinking they're right because of what they know is the cause of these arguments in the first place. Both Mitchell and Webb both KNOW the other is wrong, both are incapable of proving their point because neither of them knows how cheese is made, as in understands it enough to explain it. Basically, 'Because I know, okay!' is a fucking stupid argument and you shouldn't be surprised when people don't concede. Also, when I'm at dinner parties I try to engage in polite conversation instead of insulting people.
For me its bc the build up is so natural and the delivery of the line is so spot on. I know its coming and its still hilarious because of how they get to that line.
I can't help but think this was based off an actual argument they had but they went "wait, there's a sketch in this" before it got too heated. Like the milk.
I'm pretty sure 90% of the things they put on their shows, including Peep Show, is based on something that has happened to the two of them, or their conversations.
Good cheer and blitheringness I think he means properly lived, as in never lived with smartphones. Got old and died entirely pre-smartphone. Would be neat.
You can't really in modern society Sam Hickey. Maybe if you wanted to be a recluse living in a woodland shack or some such but that isn't a massively realistic lifestyle for most people.
As someone who actually likes learning about how cheese is made this is even more hilarious, because they are both wrong in different ways about different things XD
I think what I love best about this show is that, underneath the great acting, it just looks like two best friends having a lot of fun. That's always a fun thing to watch.
For the record, first you add cultures to the milk for it to begin to ferment and acidify. Then you add the enzyme rennet to coagulate the milk's proteins into curds, which are cooked, folded, cut, salted, and pressed. Then, with the help of bacteria, yeasts, and mold, cheese is aged to develop flavor.
@@user-hi4sm3ig5j I'm assuming it's the "cooked" step of "cooked, folded, cut, salted, and pressed". I'm very happy somebody put a description in the comments, but I'd be happier if those 5 consecutive verbs were 5 separate sentences.
I live in a university town and on Tuesdays, you just have cougars trying to grab your butt. When you pull away, they accuse you of being gay, while people sing bad karaoke in the background, and then she turns to another stranger nearby and tries to kiss him and she yells at him, calling him gay too, because he dodges her attack LOL!
More so than ever before? I don't think you can make such a bold claim with the experience of a human lifespan, not in such general terms. Such a claim is an attempt to express feelings of distress as something insightful. Trust me, it's happened to me many times. In fact, what I'm doing right now is, to some extent, an example of this. Except at least I've thought this through, I've experienced all the things I've said here.
One time, when I made paneer, the recipe said to start by boiling the milk. So this lends creedence to Rob's theory that you have to heat up the milk. Just my two cents. We'll figure this out somehow.
I HATE it when you know someone is wrong but don't know enough about the subject to prove them wrong. I spend my life being David Mitchell from this sketch
I love how in Rob’s world, heating milk turns it into cheese, but heating cheese also turns it back into milk. As if the two states exist in a quantum superposition, and applying heat causes it to “change its mind”, and become the other.
Flick the switch and the room goes dark, flick it again and it goes bright. Cheese obviously work in the same way, otherwise how the fuck else are you going to turn it back into milk.
How to make cheese: Preparing the milk: Before it can be turned into cheese, the milk may need to be processed. Acidifying the milk: Adding cultures to the milk allows it to begin to ferment and makes it more acidic. Curdling the milk: Adding rennet causes a reaction that curdles the milk, creating curds. Cutting the curd: Next, the cheesemaker cuts the curd with knives and heats it, further separating the curds and whey. Processing the curd: Processing the curd through stirring, cooking and washing continue to acidify and dry the curds. Draining the whey: Next, the whey is drained, leaving only a mat of cheese curds. Cheddaring the cheese: The cheesemaker next cuts the curd mat into sections and repeatedly flips the sections before milling the mat. Salting the cheese: For some cheeses, the next is dry salting, and for others, it is brining. Shaping the cheese: Next, cheesemakers shape the cheese, often using molds to assist. Aging the cheese: Some cheeses are aged for anywhere from a number of days to a number of years Taken from the S. Clyde Weaver website. Good luck
According to Wikipedia you just add fermented stuff and stomach enzymes to stimulate formation of the curds, then just squeeze out the whey and you've got a standard-issue cheese.
Cheese- pasteurize milk add "good bacteria" leave separate curds and whey keep the curds get rid of the whey then the curds are grouped together and treated to get different types of cheese.
This exact argument just broke out in my kitchen between my partner and her daughter so I just put this video on and walked away and now they’re laughing at themselves 😅
"Cheese is a dairy product produced in wide ranges of flavors, textures and forms by coagulation of the milk protein casein. It comprises proteins and fat from milk, usually the milk of cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep. During production, the milk is usually acidified and the enzymes of either rennet or bacterial enzymes with similar activity are added to cause the casein to coagulate. The solid curds are then separated from the liquid whey and pressed into finished cheese" 😉
"You dont know what the hell you are talking about do you?" ... "Did you hear what you just said?" - these are my go to lines from now on if I ever feel I am losing an argument. Thank you!
Having these arguments online can actually be very edifying. It forces you to do your homework and be very specific in your arguments. You come out of it knowing things about the subject that you never even realized you didn't know before. And sometimes you might even win!
It's oddly more satisfying to have the argument where nobody has access to the answer - everybody goes away still thinkng that they're right. By the time you get home or back to work and have access, you've completely forgotten the argument anyway.
You actually get cheese by exposing milk to enzymes like lactate, traditionally from the small intestine of a bovine but now artificial most of the time. This makes the milk solid and separates the water in it. If you scramble and squeeze the milk through cheesecloth at this stage, you can dry it. The cheese resembles cottage cheese in this stage, and from here, you can ferment, dry and keep refining the product in a number of different ways to make a lot of different kinds of cheese, but this is the usual start. Why am I writing this. I have a very important chemistry assignment.
@AngusTheWolf You get milk, and wait for it to err, not ferment exactly, but you err wait and err scrape off err... look you separate the curds and whey.
I remember having an argument with my best friend like this, about why midnight had to be the beginning of the day. I was trying to explain it was because the Sun was under the Earth, he said 'but why does that make it the beginning of the day?' And I think I said 'it just *does* !'
Some people talked it over and managed to convince governments and then everyone else that the day starts at midnight. It didn't have to be midnight, it just happened to be agreed upon by those that managed to convince everyone else.
I think Webb is confusing cheese with powdered milk, which is essentially cooked milk that can can be stored for long periods and turned back into milk (though not through applying heat).
Yeah for certain cheeses like Camembert, but the cheese they're talking about had "red skin" which is really just a wax coating. I love how things that are just supposed to be funny can get technical.
Generally how you make a hard cheese like the classic cheddar is by boiling milk with a culture of some kind of bacteria or yeast depending on the cheese for usually about an hour and a half to acidify the milk by making lactic acid. Then stir in rennet and turn off the heat until it coagulates which usually takes about an hour, then you slice it and start heating and stirring lightly until it separates into whey and curds and so that you firm up the curd. Then slowly increase the heat over the next hour or so stirring all the while. Then strain the curds out in a cheese cloth. For cheddar, the "cheddaring" process requires it to be kept warm for 2-3 hours and be turned every quarter of an hour, then cooking for a further hour. Then you can process and brine the curds and press it into a wheel, turning occasionally between presses. You can either wax it or seal it in plastic.
David doesn't really know what he's talking about either. He knows you don't cook cheese, but beyond that he has no idea how it's made. They point this out when they disagree over the skin on the cheese. The truth is, sometimes they put the skin on, like gouda, and sometimes the skin forms through fermentation, like brie.
It's awful when you know someone is wrong about something but you don't know enough about the subject to properly prove them wrong 😂
If you don't know enough about something to prove the opposite wrong, you don't really know, to begin with.
GuruJudge21 well that's clearly bollocks
How so? In the scenario you described, you only think you're aware of something that your peer is not, which assuredly they are as well. You don't actually understand what makes you correct or what makes them incorrect. Einstein said you don't really know something until you can adequately explain it to others. I would argue that people thinking their right without having the knowledge to back it up is a much more severe problem than not being able to put someone in their place.
Fucking hell, I bet get invited to lots of dinner parties. I know that cheese is not made from cooking milk, therefore I know that the other person is wrong. I don't understand why you're being such a colossal pedant over this.
I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it. I was simply pointing out that people thinking they're right because of what they know is the cause of these arguments in the first place. Both Mitchell and Webb both KNOW the other is wrong, both are incapable of proving their point because neither of them knows how cheese is made, as in understands it enough to explain it. Basically, 'Because I know, okay!' is a fucking stupid argument and you shouldn't be surprised when people don't concede. Also, when I'm at dinner parties I try to engage in polite conversation instead of insulting people.
"I'm not claiming to be a *fucking* scientist David!"
Still... It's not exactly brain surgery!
Zulu Romeo
Brain surgery, yeah......hmm......
It's not exactly rocket science is it?
Zulu Romeo
Brain surgery, yeah......hmm......
It's not exactly rocket science is it?
This isn't a nursery rhyme.
This is literally every internet argument I've ever seen, ever.
No it's not!
Sean Phillips, you would know because your mother goes chippy in her slippers.
no it isnt! you've got a problem mate
Sean Phillips JOOOOWS!!
Sean Phillips English or GTFO.
I swear their little "filler" sketches make me laugh more than the proper ones
In what way are they not proper sketches?
floooooooooooooooood b/c they are filmed as to appear ‚behind the scenes ‚ conversation of themselves as opposed to roles or characters.
THEY PUT THE SKIN ON!!!
I was thinking hit, hit, hit, miss, hit, miss, miss, hit
By no means but some of them are pretty funny
This did make me find out how cheese is made
Acting angry is David's specialty and condescending is Rob's. Love this clip so much
tomtom21194 Angry David is my favourite David!
It's so perfect I would say it was just a normal argument between the two and they happened to be in front of a camera.
But there's that one about levitating where it's flipped.
Rob does a very specific brand of condescension and stupidity! Hilarious:)
It’s the perfect combination
"Let's write a sketch about a man who knows nothing about cheese and another man who knows a bit about cheese."
So when do they use the kilns?
@@Nickelodeon81before it grows it's own skin
@@microwaveoven2 Nope, they put the skin on.
@@Nickelodeon81 They put the skin on?!?
I like to think this was an actual argument that they had during their break.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE F'KING SKIN ON :D :D
Cracks me up everytime
he turned genuinely psycho for a second XD
I've watched this ten times and it still makes me laugh when he says, "I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON".
For me its bc the build up is so natural and the delivery of the line is so spot on. I know its coming and its still hilarious because of how they get to that line.
HAHA! I have had so many arguments like this in the past where neither one of you knows quite how it works but you know one of you is wrong.
... WATER IS WET
I can't help but think this was based off an actual argument they had but they went "wait, there's a sketch in this" before it got too heated.
Like the milk.
...in the kiln
There are no kilns, you don't get cheese just by cooking milk.
I'm pretty sure 90% of the things they put on their shows, including Peep Show, is based on something that has happened to the two of them, or their conversations.
the crew probably like "oh shit they're fighting again" before a producer shouts "get the camera!"
*based ON (for God's sake!)
I don't know why but David saying "lot of anger" increasingly louder is so hilarious.
What life was like before Smartphones.
I wish I lived in pre smartphone days
Good cheer and blitheringness
I think he means properly lived, as in never lived with smartphones.
Got old and died entirely pre-smartphone. Would be neat.
You can still live without a smartphone. Just don't get one. I know, a horrifying thought isn't it?
You can't really in modern society Sam Hickey. Maybe if you wanted to be a recluse living in a woodland shack or some such but that isn't a massively realistic lifestyle for most people.
sam, that was not nearly as clever as you thought it was. certainly not clever enough to be worth sarcasm.
As someone who actually likes learning about how cheese is made this is even more hilarious, because they are both wrong in different ways about different things XD
How do they put the skin on?
Yes, but David is far closer to correct than Robb.
@@freddysw I DONT KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON
@@Ben-ht2cv Well what are we talking about then?
surely one must start by separating the curds and whey
"They put the skin ON??? Did you hear what you just said; 'They put the skin on' ??" XD lol
Damn it, I STILL don't know how to make cheese
Put it in the kiln...
As far as I know, it's made in supermarkets.
Find a big hot rock.
@@madnessbydesign1415 You seperate the Curds and Whey
@@jamieforrest5161 until it forms a hard skin.
Anyway，blessed are the cheesemakers！
No they're not! all they do is cook milk
Well, obviously it refers to any makers of dairy products.. :)
Is this a cheese shop?
What's all this, then?
Václav Fejt monty python it’s on you tube .
I think what I love best about this show is that, underneath the great acting, it just looks like two best friends having a lot of fun. That's always a fun thing to watch.
The turning the cheese back into milk part had me on the ground
Every time I watch this, I have the urge to actually find out how cheese is made.
gbonkers666 yet you never do
I bet Amazon prime has a good selection of cheese kilns.
@@39401JLB Those are actually mislabelled Chinese kilns.
Me too, but it soon passes!
Watched it dozens of times, but haven't looked it up yet
"This isn't a nursery rhyme, David" - brilliant!
That was gold!
This is so simple but it's one of my favourite mitchell and webb sketches, really shows how good their chemistry is.
Both good and not good depending on what definition of chemistry you use.
This wasn't a sketch, this was a genuine conversation they had and they decided to turn it into a bit.
Throwback to Unregistered Hypercam 2
They talked about making cheese. They talked about Edam. But neither of them mentioned that Edam is the only cheese that's made backwards
And Brie was made from one of Edam's ribs.
What, you mean they put it in the kiln after it grows its thick red skin? THAT'S STUPID! The Danish who make Edam are clearly Nazis!
Wait but they don't make cheese backw-....oh you son of a bitch.
You sly devil.
Well played, Sir. Well played...
THEY PUT THE SKIN ON?!
It’s the salt they leave it to mature in.
Love this sketch, the older I get the more I appreciate the writing and planning behind sketch shows.
Alternate title: Trying to Argue With Someone That Has No Idea What They're Talking About.
while you don't have a clue yourself
It's like family dinner every week.
For the record, first you add cultures to the milk for it to begin to ferment and acidify. Then you add the enzyme rennet to coagulate the milk's proteins into curds, which are cooked, folded, cut, salted, and pressed. Then, with the help of bacteria, yeasts, and mold, cheese is aged to develop flavor.
Sounds easy-peasy....I'll have a go at that......
But when do they use the kilns?
This is how it's done today, traditionally you just leave the milk in the sun the take the curds and rada, that's cheese
Casein point.
@@user-hi4sm3ig5j I'm assuming it's the "cooked" step of "cooked, folded, cut, salted, and pressed". I'm very happy somebody put a description in the comments, but I'd be happier if those 5 consecutive verbs were 5 separate sentences.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON!
If Simon Cooper’s dad was with him: “language. 🤡” 😂
Go to a pub in a university town on a Tuesday evening and you will hear an almost identical argument about any topic of your choice.
I live in a university town and on Tuesdays, you just have cougars trying to grab your butt. When you pull away, they accuse you of being gay, while people sing bad karaoke in the background, and then she turns to another stranger nearby and tries to kiss him and she yells at him, calling him gay too, because he dodges her attack LOL!
For 8 seconds until someone Googles it.
The good old days when we could go to the pub!
@@Taricus That could be fun
It isn't even funny anymore, because this isn't satire, this is reality, more so than ever before.
More so than ever before? I don't think you can make such a bold claim with the experience of a human lifespan, not in such general terms. Such a claim is an attempt to express feelings of distress as something insightful. Trust me, it's happened to me many times. In fact, what I'm doing right now is, to some extent, an example of this. Except at least I've thought this through, I've experienced all the things I've said here.
@@martinmaguire-music6692 Thanks.
Since they stopped using the kilns, yeah.
Lot of anger! LOT OF ANGER! LOT OF ANGER!!!
YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM MATE...!
i thought he was yelling LORD OF ANGER
I thought it was "wall of anger" 🤣
I thought he was saying "YOU'RE THE WANKER"
One time, when I made paneer, the recipe said to start by boiling the milk. So this lends creedence to Rob's theory that you have to heat up the milk.
Just my two cents. We'll figure this out somehow.
I HATE it when you know someone is wrong but don't know enough about the subject to prove them wrong. I spend my life being David Mitchell from this sketch
I've come to think of these kinds of arguments as 'cheese arguments'.
is this a... legitimate Unregistered HyperCam 2 video?! nice >:]
XD
I love how in Rob’s world, heating milk turns it into cheese, but heating cheese also turns it back into milk.
As if the two states exist in a quantum superposition, and applying heat causes it to “change its mind”, and become the other.
Flick the switch and the room goes dark, flick it again and it goes bright.
Cheese obviously work in the same way, otherwise how the fuck else are you going to turn it back into milk.
@@SirNilzey Cheese doesn't develop it's own light switch, they graft the switch on!
@@SilverSpade92 that's what I'm saying, by a licensed cheesetrician
milk and cheese are both the same element, milkium. What we commonly refer to as "cheese" and "milk" are simply its different aggregate states.
@@fuckoffwiththehandles so you are saying we need a time machine... where the fuck am I supposed to order that?
This definitely was inspired by some argument they had off camera.
These two are modern-day comedy gods.
This is my favourite 85 seconds on UA-cam.
Apparently the red skin of the cheese is made of coloured paraffin wax that is applied on it. So yes, they put the skin on.
Une ténébreuse affaire But calling it skin still makes it sound off, even if we know what you mean by skin. Is that wrapper called skin?
Did you hear what you just said?!! "They put the skin on"?!!!!!
@@Dylan_Thomas1 Yes, or sometimes it is referred to as the 'rind', like the skin of a fruit.
That's not skin, it's packaging.
@@shaunpatrick8345 "Packaging?" Did you hear what you just said? You've got a problem, mate. And a lotta anger.
A LOT OF ANGER
this is so good. i love this so much.
This sketch inspired me to go research cheese manufacturing. I can win this internet argument now.
if you don't know, look it up. the internet was built for that, then regular man learned how to use it.
Cheesoid the robot could have helped them out here.
I can't tell if this is a sketch or just Rob and David being theirself between scenes
This might as well be an audition tape for WILTY.
Possibly the best sketch of all time
How to make cheese:
Preparing the milk: Before it can be turned into cheese, the milk may need to be processed.
Acidifying the milk: Adding cultures to the milk allows it to begin to ferment and makes it more acidic.
Curdling the milk: Adding rennet causes a reaction that curdles the milk, creating curds.
Cutting the curd: Next, the cheesemaker cuts the curd with knives and heats it, further separating the curds and whey.
Processing the curd: Processing the curd through stirring, cooking and washing continue to acidify and dry the curds.
Draining the whey: Next, the whey is drained, leaving only a mat of cheese curds.
Cheddaring the cheese: The cheesemaker next cuts the curd mat into sections and repeatedly flips the sections before milling the mat.
Salting the cheese: For some cheeses, the next is dry salting, and for others, it is brining.
Shaping the cheese: Next, cheesemakers shape the cheese, often using molds to assist.
Aging the cheese: Some cheeses are aged for anywhere from a number of days to a number of years
Taken from the S. Clyde Weaver website. Good luck
the internet in a nutshell...
george lowe NO IT'S NOT
so when do they use the kilns?
The Internet's in a nutshell? ... Did you hear what you just said!?!
If you're like me, the next video you watched after this one was "how is cheese made"
According to Wikipedia you just add fermented stuff and stomach enzymes to stimulate formation of the curds, then just squeeze out the whey and you've got a standard-issue cheese.
Cheese-
pasteurize milk
add "good bacteria"
leave
separate curds and whey
keep the curds get rid of the whey
then the curds are grouped together and treated to get different types of cheese.
Don't watch these clips guys, watch the full episodes, they are on here
Genius!
The milk is cooked to separate the curd which is then drained to make cheese.
Well, that was a strange episode of QI.
I love how they do make these scenes seem so close to being possibly real life they are so well written just like a real argument in so many ways haha
I feel like that skit just got away from them at the end and they just kept it because it was better than the script.
This exact argument just broke out in my kitchen between my partner and her daughter so I just put this video on and walked away and now they’re laughing at themselves 😅
And now I have to look up how they make cheese.
"Cheese is a dairy product produced in wide ranges of flavors, textures and forms by coagulation of the milk protein casein. It comprises proteins and fat from milk, usually the milk of cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep. During production, the milk is usually acidified and the enzymes of either rennet or bacterial enzymes with similar activity are added to cause the casein to coagulate. The solid curds are then separated from the liquid whey and pressed into finished cheese"
😉
Pretty much the gist of every UA-cam beef ever.
This sort of thing is avoided by simply saying "I don't know". But no-one wants to say that, do they?
Some of their other sketches are so so clever, but this one had me laughing hard. "this isn't a nursery rhyme"..
"You dont know what the hell you are talking about do you?" ... "Did you hear what you just said?" - these are my go to lines from now on if I ever feel I am losing an argument. Thank you!
YOU GOT A LOT OF FUCKING ANGER!!!
I'd pay good money to watch these two on stage just arguing about trivial nonsense.
some cheese has a skin some cheese is waxed
these are very close to their characters in peep show
i dont understand, why the kurds keep being attacked, keep race out of cheese
Having these arguments online can actually be very edifying. It forces you to do your homework and be very specific in your arguments. You come out of it knowing things about the subject that you never even realized you didn't know before. And sometimes you might even win!
Bollocks, it's impossible to win an online argument.
i was reading a little house on the prairie book and they described how to make cheese and i said "so thats how you put the fucking skin on!"
I am starting to get tired of calling these guys geniuses all the time.
I miss these kinds of arguments with my friends. You can’t have them now that we all have Google and Wikipedia in our pocket.
It's oddly more satisfying to have the argument where nobody has access to the answer - everybody goes away still thinkng that they're right. By the time you get home or back to work and have access, you've completely forgotten the argument anyway.
You actually get cheese by exposing milk to enzymes like lactate, traditionally from the small intestine of a bovine but now artificial most of the time. This makes the milk solid and separates the water in it. If you scramble and squeeze the milk through cheesecloth at this stage, you can dry it. The cheese resembles cottage cheese in this stage, and from here, you can ferment, dry and keep refining the product in a number of different ways to make a lot of different kinds of cheese, but this is the usual start. Why am I writing this. I have a very important chemistry assignment.
I love middle class arguments.
Holy shit I wish I had a friendship like that. Where it wouldn't be boring to talk about the most inconsequential bullshit and really get into it.
+Justin McCabe Just try getting one friend 1st.
Blake L Good one.
@AngusTheWolf You get milk, and wait for it to err, not ferment exactly, but you err wait and err scrape off err... look you separate the curds and whey.
I remember having an argument with my best friend like this, about why midnight had to be the beginning of the day. I was trying to explain it was because the Sun was under the Earth, he said 'but why does that make it the beginning of the day?' And I think I said 'it just *does* !'
Some people talked it over and managed to convince governments and then everyone else that the day starts at midnight. It didn't have to be midnight, it just happened to be agreed upon by those that managed to convince everyone else.
You can use milk to make cheese, with vinegar and heat.
Now we know
We know now
This is the perfect exemplar for a social media flame war.
I think Webb is confusing cheese with powdered milk, which is essentially cooked milk that can can be stored for long periods and turned back into milk (though not through applying heat).
"I don't know how they put the fucking skin on" famous last words 😂
It's great because they're both sort of right.
So, do we know how they make cheese, yet?
no it's not they, add rennet to make cheese. so basically you add enzymes to the milk you don't let it rot.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON!
David Mitchell getting angry is easily one of the top ten funniest things in the world, regardless of the topic
Yeah for certain cheeses like Camembert, but the cheese they're talking about had "red skin" which is really just a wax coating. I love how things that are just supposed to be funny can get technical.
This is just Mark and Jeremy
David is a great actor
So is Robert, I would argue moreso since Robert has to play a moron.
Years since I first saw this. I cannot take the skin off of a piece of cheese without thinking about it.
one of the best. 'did you just hear yourself?! they put the skin on?!'
Generally how you make a hard cheese like the classic cheddar is by boiling milk with a culture of some kind of bacteria or yeast depending on the cheese for usually about an hour and a half to acidify the milk by making lactic acid.
Then stir in rennet and turn off the heat until it coagulates which usually takes about an hour, then you slice it and start heating and stirring lightly until it separates into whey and curds and so that you firm up the curd. Then slowly increase the heat over the next hour or so stirring all the while.
Then strain the curds out in a cheese cloth. For cheddar, the "cheddaring" process requires it to be kept warm for 2-3 hours and be turned every quarter of an hour, then cooking for a further hour.
Then you can process and brine the curds and press it into a wheel, turning occasionally between presses.
You can either wax it or seal it in plastic.
David doesn't really know what he's talking about either. He knows you don't cook cheese, but beyond that he has no idea how it's made. They point this out when they disagree over the skin on the cheese. The truth is, sometimes they put the skin on, like gouda, and sometimes the skin forms through fermentation, like brie.
I just saw what David Mitchell would look like as a football hooligan... And I will never be able to unsee it...