The Insulting Librarian - Mitchell & Webb

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  • Опубліковано 21 січ 2025

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  • @sistervigilante27
    @sistervigilante27 10 років тому +3410

    "What happened to the friendly Australian girl who used to work this circulation desk?" "She's gone, ma'am. They've all gone. And We're back."

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 10 років тому +411

      the incredibly judgmental and pessimistic people who are still unaccountably librarians

    • @TheJMPJR
      @TheJMPJR 10 років тому +15

      "Er, who?"

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 10 років тому +12

      TheJMPJR watch mitchell and webb look vicar or shop or waiter you'll see

    • @YKW2
      @YKW2 10 років тому +271

      jack brearley
      "I saw you in here last week. I saw you idly leafing through the Classics section and not putting books back on the shelf. I saw you pretending to understand Tolstoy and feigning an interest in Shakespeare, before picking the book with the glossiest cover. We all saw you. And we all thought you were a snooze."

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 10 років тому +77

      YKW2 why are you saying these things about me?
      because im trying to help you im trying to show you that you arent enlightened or intelligent with profound ideas you dont have any worthwhile contributions you are meek uninteresting foolish and a bore now lets try something simple i recommend the fifth elephant

  • @EndlessVacuum
    @EndlessVacuum 11 років тому +1953

    The D.E.N.N.I.S method condensed to 3 minutes.
    Spectacular.

    • @soylentgreen6082
      @soylentgreen6082 4 роки тому +49

      A fine observation.

    • @Thom-jj7yr
      @Thom-jj7yr 4 роки тому +44

      You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!

    •  4 роки тому +1

      Ha ha - yes. All it needs is the Jeopardy of ebing at sea.

    • @yourealrightboah9414
      @yourealrightboah9414 3 роки тому +39

      Its a system

    • @Football__Junkie
      @Football__Junkie 3 роки тому +58

      Step 1: Demonstrate your value…

  • @MundaneGray
    @MundaneGray 11 років тому +971

    My local library allows me to request books online, and the hold shelf is self-service, so I can just walk over and get it. Then I use a self-checkout kiosk to check the book out. This enables me to completely avoid all contact with librarians. However, this strategy falls apart when I get home, because a librarian is waiting there for me. And I can't ask her to leave; she'll just point out that she has every right to be there, since we ARE married.

  • @atklm1
    @atklm1 10 років тому +3624

    And we're back. The super-intellectual, intimidatingly snob people who still unaccountably work in a library.

    • @FrankyBabes
      @FrankyBabes 9 років тому +267

      +atklm1 We've seen you in here, rifling through the DVD section, reading the comics in the newspapers. We were watching you from the staff lounge. And we all thought you were a turd.

    • @atklm1
      @atklm1 9 років тому +204

      FrankyBabes
      Excuse me, what happened to the friendly australian girl who used to work here?

    • @FrankyBabes
      @FrankyBabes 9 років тому +207

      They're gone, sir. They're all gone.

    • @atklm1
      @atklm1 9 років тому +17

      Tiwaking Tiwaking
      It's 2015. Nowadays people ask naked picture online and agree upon time and a place and it's a one time meeting in a place with dimm lights. New one every other week. And they usually come twice as fat and ugly and ten times more annoying as in the pictures. Anything including date and flowers and asking IRL is a fairytale lovestory these days.

    • @SinOfAugust
      @SinOfAugust 9 років тому +25

      +atklm1 Working in a library is bloody awesome!

  • @michaeltye2359
    @michaeltye2359 4 роки тому +659

    You know Robert was happy to be able to play the smart mean guy for once 😂

    • @pietadon
      @pietadon 11 місяців тому

      But he couldn't pull off smart and just became an elitist arse hole.

  • @changer_of_ways_999
    @changer_of_ways_999 2 роки тому +474

    This is basically how people find themselves in an abusive relationship only it's a bit more subtle

    • @tedsmith6385
      @tedsmith6385 Рік тому

      Just want to punch Roberts character in the face really hard lmfao

    • @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch
      @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch Рік тому

      I hate those kind of people... but they are also arogant as sht... because on one hand I don't wanna date them or anything but if it was in school or elswhere my people pleasing insticts kicked in because ... basicly from birth I know I alone against group of poeple can't do shit... welp up until one asshole now I don"t care ... oh there will b group of people bullying me because you want me? I mean grow up byllying girls to get date is mentality of 5 year old ... also why do you think I told you about that my family don't have luck with people... for you to feel sorry for me? nah mate that is just "lightly teliing you I will not date you how, ever you are digging deep in my past wound, so I basicly will giving gifts to you and shit (and be somehow incrisingly offputing) to leave me alone because I don't want to hurt you)

    • @TheRoadhammer379
      @TheRoadhammer379 Рік тому

      oh ffs, it's a fucking comedy sketch, you obtuse dullard

  • @nickc3053
    @nickc3053 8 років тому +270

    Funny how in one episode of Would i lie to you, David Mitchell has to lie about writing columns for a womans magasine so he picks Top sante as the one and everyone was shocked that he actually knew a woman magasine. Must have remembered it from this sketch

    • @leslielysaght230
      @leslielysaght230 8 років тому +47

      If I remember the clip correctly it actually backfires on him because the other team doesn't believe that it's a real magazine.

    • @krazed0451
      @krazed0451 10 місяців тому +1

      Are you French? Magazine is commonly spelt with a z, even in England.

    • @kami3000
      @kami3000 8 місяців тому +6

      @@krazed0451 Kinda funny... 'magasin' (without the e) in French means shop. And I think those paper magazines are called 'hebdo', short for hebdomadaire, which means 'weekly'.

    • @Scipio-Africannabis
      @Scipio-Africannabis 5 місяців тому +3

      @@krazed0451 Why do you care so much about the way someone wrote a word on the internet? Are you one of those brexit racists?

    • @stevekelly5166
      @stevekelly5166 4 місяці тому +3

      @@Scipio-Africannabis ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  • @blackbird5634
    @blackbird5634 2 роки тому +557

    I once asked a librarian: "May I please use one of the computers?" And he replied: "I've been waiting ten years for someone to ask that question correctly."

    • @stevenlewis4961
      @stevenlewis4961 2 роки тому +51

      But did you ask correctly? He may still be waiting.

    • @zapkvr0101
      @zapkvr0101 2 роки тому +2

      @@stevenlewis4961 He might be

    • @jimreily7538
      @jimreily7538 Рік тому +2

      What did he mean ?

    • @danfish300
      @danfish300 Рік тому +47

      @@jimreily7538 I would assume that it would be the lack of please, but also the fact that most people say "can" instead of "may", of which "may" is technically correct (the best kind of correct).

    • @WandererTheLost
      @WandererTheLost Рік тому +6

      ​@@jimreily7538 it is probably a plural thing. Most people ask if they can use the computers.

  • @frankmachin5438
    @frankmachin5438 4 роки тому +338

    I feel sorry for this lady....I know it’s just a sketch but I want to give her a hug and tell her it’ll be alright...

    • @Equinoxe-gp9sq
      @Equinoxe-gp9sq 4 роки тому +21

      @Jaysun B A packet of biscuits?

    • @vicinteriano
      @vicinteriano 2 роки тому +17

      Yeah, sounds like charity.

    • @vr3824
      @vr3824 2 роки тому +5

      probably wont be alright in the real world tho

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 Рік тому +16

      Are you willing to devote the time necessary to make sure that it is indeed all right for her? Or do you just want to spend the minimum of time and energy necessary to spew vacuous remarks that make you feel better without a whole lot of regard for her?

    • @ticklershpickler
      @ticklershpickler Рік тому

      Yeah, I bet you would, pervert

  • @Azrael__
    @Azrael__ 4 роки тому +116

    This is what the voices in my head are like.

    • @obi501
      @obi501 4 роки тому +6

      Those voices are right, I've had an idea. would you like to go on a little date with me?

  • @cmoor8616
    @cmoor8616 6 років тому +103

    Did I just see a prototype formation of every abusive relationship EVER?

  • @TonkarzOfSolSystem
    @TonkarzOfSolSystem 4 роки тому +36

    So this sketch must be why David Mitchell was able to recall "Top Sante" as a women's magazine for "Would I Lie to You". In fact the only one he could recall and yet couldn't explain how or why.

    • @cm.design
      @cm.design Рік тому +4

      Hah, just posted the same thought and scrolled down to find I was not alone!

  • @generalpublic3744
    @generalpublic3744 4 роки тому +27

    Nice part for an actress, she was really good and deserves a credit.

    • @dmh872
      @dmh872 9 місяців тому +1

      Jo Neary, available for weddings bar and bat mitzvahs, and laundry. She was born in Cov hence the Warwick Uni reference.

    • @MokkaMatti
      @MokkaMatti 2 місяці тому

      How about a tissue, a biscuit, and a little date?

  • @Hobbyrepubliken
    @Hobbyrepubliken 8 років тому +1029

    This is what readers of The Game actually believe

    • @ulrikschackmeyer848
      @ulrikschackmeyer848 4 роки тому +22

      No! But it is a VERY well done satire of what most uninlightened people THINK it is.

    • @clement592
      @clement592 4 роки тому +66

      @@ulrikschackmeyer848 shut up

    • @ulrikschackmeyer848
      @ulrikschackmeyer848 4 роки тому +14

      @@clement592 about what? Please enlighten me. That is IF you want a sober, enlightening discussion.

    • @clement592
      @clement592 4 роки тому +41

      @@ulrikschackmeyer848there are many synonyms for enlightened

    • @edwardheaney3641
      @edwardheaney3641 4 роки тому +2

      @@clement592 Guess your answer is no

  • @nathanadler1452
    @nathanadler1452 3 роки тому +24

    Ah negging, truly a sketch ahead of its time.

  • @EmperorBeef
    @EmperorBeef 10 років тому +170

    Oddly prescient Benedict Cumberbatch impression considering the date of this sketch.

    • @danahaljulaibi3628
      @danahaljulaibi3628 10 років тому +6

      i thought of him too!

    • @donnie8032
      @donnie8032 9 років тому +11

      +KrakenJack You mean in Sherlock, with Molly?

    • @derangedband
      @derangedband 8 років тому +7

      if only the librarian was shooting holes into a wall when he shouts "BORED" xD

    • @NotoriousLightning
      @NotoriousLightning 11 місяців тому

      Bennie would never be this cruel.

    • @PenneySounds
      @PenneySounds 9 місяців тому +3

      The best part is Robert Webb used to be on Bruiser with Martin Freeman.

  • @rockoperajon
    @rockoperajon 6 років тому +37

    What makes you such a genius all of a sudden, Jez? The only book you've ever read is Mr. Nice!

    • @clemteetonball1250
      @clemteetonball1250 3 роки тому +3

      Three times.

    • @MokkaMatti
      @MokkaMatti 2 місяці тому

      He begged Mark to teach him to read, and then couldn't even defend himself against Big Ben, Ben 10, the Bento Box master of merch.

    • @AndrewBishop1971
      @AndrewBishop1971 Місяць тому

      ​@@MokkaMatti Sleepy Ben

  • @sm-yu7dt
    @sm-yu7dt Рік тому +4

    I remember this being one of the first youtube videos I ever watched, so around 2008/2009. I'm back now at 23, and felt called out when she said she went to Warwick..

    • @sm-yu7dt
      @sm-yu7dt Рік тому +1

      oh I did my geography coursework in leatherhead..what is going on

  • @daveybernard1056
    @daveybernard1056 4 роки тому +91

    Used to work in a university library. While I never saw this sort of thing, I absolutely WOULD NOT be surprised if this ever happened.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 роки тому +14

      I really can't. Every librarian I've ever met is just glad when people read anything.

    • @Sundog1985
      @Sundog1985 2 роки тому +4

      I worked in a copyright library in Edinburgh for 7 years. This kind of person, while a minority in the library, were also the people with lots of power and shouted the loudest. There is a disproportionate amount of absolute bawbags that worked in my library and they are encouraged by a culture of similar thinking people or those that are easily intimidated and just want to work without hassle. Librarians are often extremely sheltered and the library is their safe space.

    • @juliawirch2454
      @juliawirch2454 2 роки тому +3

      I did as well, but many patrons were much better educated than me! This is a "I resent that I work at a public library instead of an academic library" person...😄

  • @michaelsetiawan2746
    @michaelsetiawan2746 7 років тому +9

    This is the roughest smooth pickup I've ever seen.

  • @stewmott3763
    @stewmott3763 Рік тому +14

    01:08 It's the attention to detail I appreciate. Refusing to split an infinitive is exactly the sort of thing someone like him would do (even though the rest of us are happy to carelessly split infinitives all the time because it makes the sentence flow better and doesn't actually affect the meaning anyway so who gives a shit?).

    • @ja-qk4vd
      @ja-qk4vd 9 місяців тому +2

      See what you did there.

    • @tomlangron2532
      @tomlangron2532 7 місяців тому +2

      I'm more of a Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy kind of guy, I dare to boldly split infinitives that have never been split before.

  • @GeekRemix
    @GeekRemix 10 років тому +304

    Negging master

    • @silencionomus
      @silencionomus 4 роки тому +11

      It absolutely was an unexpected twist. I’m not sure anyone could pull that off in real life.

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 4 роки тому +1

      Geek Remix!!

    • @DakanMisty
      @DakanMisty 3 роки тому +2

      Neg em till you peg em innit

    • @Flackon
      @Flackon 3 роки тому

      @@silencionomus probably not

    • @RealityCheck6T9
      @RealityCheck6T9 7 місяців тому

      The purpose of negging is to bring down a woman with an overly inflated opinion of herself. This woman had little self-esteem to begin with.

  • @UKgamer87
    @UKgamer87 10 років тому +78

    This is why people get their books online now

    • @nunyabusiness7858
      @nunyabusiness7858 9 років тому +11

      wouldn't be surprised if Google books started to do this whenever you googled something stupid in order to neg you into getting Google plus

    • @verysilly8883
      @verysilly8883 4 роки тому +1

      Feck the snobs here (they're just as bad!), I'm answering literally. There's nothing like a printed book, the atmosphere in a library or bookstore.... even if the clerks can see what you're checking out. It's well illustrated, at least, you should buy or borrow whatever YOU want & the hell with abusive control freaks.

  • @dangerouslytalented
    @dangerouslytalented 11 років тому +67

    how romantic... They have been together ever since. You could tell that he had been observing her for so very very long, and that everything that he was saying about her, was also kind of true for him. Because he knew all his foibles were hers, too, he knew theirs was a match made in heaven.
    I mean, he works in a library and has no life.

  • @TheCyberDead
    @TheCyberDead 11 років тому +517

    So is this how dating works in england?

    • @minch333
      @minch333 11 років тому +89

      ...Sort of actually.

    • @PaintKyZR
      @PaintKyZR 11 років тому +58

      The men of South England are the smoothest, most charismatic, passionate conversation artists in the world. Hate to break it to you, but the stereotype that we're cold, pale, boring weaklings was created by American men to turn your women off us, but it really, really didn't work. I'm hitting the states for a few months this summer, and i'm going to show them exactly what they're missing..

    • @Grant500
      @Grant500 11 років тому +36

      Apathy Yeah... Nothing turns American women on like a nice big British smile coupled with some really pale skin. Kidding aside, good luck I guess.

    • @TC27127
      @TC27127 11 років тому +59

      Hmmm...British people get free or heavily subsidized dental care so are likely to have decent teeth probaly better than the 85 million Americans without any dental care at all. Secondly alot of Americans live in similar climatic conditions to the UK so unless tanning saloons are rife the skin may well be of a similar hue.

    • @Grant500
      @Grant500 11 років тому +11

      Easy there brother, Americans have better teeth because the gene pool is more diverse. Also, if you look at any map of the earth you will find that the people living in the southernmost portion of Britain would be considered northerners in the US. As a Californian living in the midwest, I can assure you that there is a big difference between people from the south/west and midwesterners/northerners, at least in terms of skin tone.

  • @cnj67
    @cnj67 2 місяці тому +3

    I was going to say I had never met a horrible librarian like that, but I did meet one, once. And I wasn't even borrowing celebrity self help books.
    All the rest of the librarians I've met have been on a range from nice to awesome.

  • @Shaqstheman000
    @Shaqstheman000 10 років тому +498

    /lit/

    • @Ghosthacker94
      @Ghosthacker94 9 років тому +7

      Shaqstheman000 I've been lucky, I mostly lurk looking for book recommends and the few times I've asked a question, it hasn't been flooded with assholes. :D

    • @niallreid7664
      @niallreid7664 7 років тому +5

      God so fucking true.

    • @TomasRepArg
      @TomasRepArg 7 років тому +1

      This.

    • @anselmschueler
      @anselmschueler 7 років тому +2

      It's actually /ˈlɪt/

  • @harrympharrison
    @harrympharrison 4 роки тому +17

    2:55 where on earth does the clip-on tie come from? Great little detail

  • @Niobesnuppa
    @Niobesnuppa 12 років тому +20

    What a charming and not at all abusive way to ask someone on a date. xD

  • @lyadmilo
    @lyadmilo 11 років тому +206

    The incredibly narcissistic and condescending people who are still, unaccountably, librarians.

    • @owlowl1884
      @owlowl1884 2 роки тому +5

      I'm 68 and have only encountered one mean librarian and she wasn't intellectually condescending (didn't seem bright). Have you really found so many? Nine years later, your comment gets a question.

    • @mariondiabolito4054
      @mariondiabolito4054 2 роки тому +3

      @@owlowl1884 lyadmilo was not talking about actual librarians - they were referring to a series of connected sketches [vicars, mainly but also things like travel agents, etc.] where David Mitchell played the rude, insulting person, and Webb and a female cast member - sometimes this one??? - played the victims. But I think the connection's only peripheral. There's a lot going on here. The humour is FAR darker, and there's a heavy overtone of American pickup-artist book culture. What he starts doing out of sadism he ends up leveraging into what the American PUAs call "negging." It's the opposite of "simping" or "being a nice guy." You not only show indifference to make yourself look valuable, you erode their ego and self-worth to make it seem like you're the best they can do. Webb wasn't a bad-looking guy, but his character is clearly super bitter, atop his narcissism and sadism. Shane Ritchie is a signifier of sorts - the very sort of person the Librarian would hate with every fibre of his being while envying him.

    • @owlowl1884
      @owlowl1884 2 роки тому +1

      @@mariondiabolito4054 This is why I shouldn't comment. I'm often like SNL's Emily L. Thanks for taking the time to enlighten me.

    • @Sundog1985
      @Sundog1985 2 роки тому +3

      @@owlowl1884 I worked in a copyright Library in Scotland for 7 years. This type of person is extremely common in such a setting. The best people were the visitors, much of the staff had absolutely zero grace or other notable skillset.

    • @lordprotector3367
      @lordprotector3367 Рік тому

      @@owlowl1884 ua-cam.com/video/I9cP-1kC3So/v-deo.html&ab_channel=RobertLarsen

  • @walterzamalis4846
    @walterzamalis4846 6 років тому +117

    So this is why we have self-service issuing at libraries now.

    • @SpotlessLeopard
      @SpotlessLeopard 4 роки тому +27

      Yes and last week, one of the machines called me a shaven headed, knuckle dragging bastard.
      I'm marrying it on Thursday.

  • @alexscott1257
    @alexscott1257 Рік тому +28

    When I was at university I knew a librarian that was somewhat like this. She would sometimes scoff and laugh at me and actually told me that a book I was getting out would be too complicated for me whilst giving me a patronising smile. I told her that I was coming back after graduation to do a Masters and she laughed and said "You? A Masters? I hardly think that would be suitable for someone like you!" A couple of years later I got a job creating a digital archive and this library owned all of the original material that was to be digitised and this lady made it as hard for me to access the library as she possibly could. She wrote a long string of emails about my conduct because I had suggested that as an alumni of the university it seemed excessive to have me bring two forms of ID and fill out a form every single day. My friend who was supervising the project asked if I couldn't just be a bit more agreeable with the staff at the library. A few days later he had to come to the library with another member of the project team and when he finally got through the access gate he said "I'm sorry, I see what you mean about them now! She seems to really enjoy all of this!"

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 Рік тому +4

      "Alumni" is plural (or "alumnae" for multiple female-only graduates). You were an alumnus (or alumna, if female).

    • @FlyingFox86
      @FlyingFox86 Рік тому +1

      Okay, two questions:
      1) How on Earth could she possibly think that a book in a university library would be too hard for a student from that university? What was she basing that on? That precisely who the library is there for.
      2) Did she ask you out on a little date?

    • @GregOrCreg
      @GregOrCreg Рік тому +10

      @@jamesmcinnis208 LOL. Are you the librarian alex is referring to?

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 Рік тому +2

      @@GregOrCreg Yawn.

    • @ionia2376
      @ionia2376 9 місяців тому +1

      ​@@FlyingFox86She may have just assumed it was a Mickey mouse degree

  • @randomaccessfemale
    @randomaccessfemale 9 років тому +327

    This is like the most overdrawn neg ever.

    • @borismuller86
      @borismuller86 7 років тому +9

      Jane Doe TEXTBOOK.

    • @olly311
      @olly311 6 років тому +3

      I was thinking that, is that meant to be the point?

    • @quasarsphere
      @quasarsphere 6 років тому +6

      Olly
      Yes, it's absolutely the point.

    • @randomaccessfemale
      @randomaccessfemale 4 роки тому

      @Random Number I learned about that when I read the Game by Neil Strauss.

    • @sunkintree
      @sunkintree 4 роки тому +1

      @Random Number negging has been around since before your time kid

  • @johnmilhuisen2607
    @johnmilhuisen2607 Рік тому +2

    Reminds me of Harry Enfield’s I Saw You Coming sketches.

  • @PlasmaMongoose
    @PlasmaMongoose 10 років тому +86

    I'm guessing that this librarian's favourite book must be "The Game" since that is a textbook example of negging at work.

    • @nehmanator333
      @nehmanator333 10 років тому +18

      ...This is just human behavior. people have been doing this since the dawn of man, lowering others self-esteem to then get something from them (including them)

    • @federicobau8651
      @federicobau8651 9 років тому +1

      haha yhea...just read that book!!

    • @anonymousxaela761
      @anonymousxaela761 4 роки тому +4

      Or he's just an avid learner of the DENNIS system.

    • @verysilly8883
      @verysilly8883 4 роки тому +2

      Even funnier, he's a clerk, not a librarian.

    • @baalzebullordofhell6967
      @baalzebullordofhell6967 3 роки тому +1

      Yeah, these people are shit.

  • @fTripleSharp
    @fTripleSharp 6 років тому +255

    Still a better love story than Twilight.

    • @Person1865
      @Person1865 2 роки тому +11

      Which she has definitely read

  • @ThatMadCat
    @ThatMadCat 3 роки тому +86

    Jesus Christ this was brutal, I know it's fake but I still felt bad for that woman.

  • @LHyoutube
    @LHyoutube 3 роки тому +11

    This clip perfectly predicted the invention of 'negging' by pickup artists.

    • @barbados3592
      @barbados3592 3 роки тому

      they call it "negging" b/c they are nerds. The actual normal term is "teasing".

  • @wailer27
    @wailer27 2 роки тому +5

    Origin story for all symbiotic abusive relationships. Humour almost always seems to come from a place where dark truths exist.

  • @bustercrimes7379
    @bustercrimes7379 6 років тому +308

    This is how psychopaths operate...more subtly of course

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 4 роки тому +8

      No plenty of creeps are this upfront about it (also psychopath isn’t a medically recognized term, it’s just an ableist word for creep)

    • @michaelesposito2629
      @michaelesposito2629 4 роки тому +29

      @@DeathnoteBB LOL “ableist”. God. You SJW’s are such pathetic people. I can’t even imagine ever using that word seriously.

    • @jeefpeef5983
      @jeefpeef5983 4 роки тому +27

      @@michaelesposito2629 David Mitchell hates you

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 4 роки тому +18

      @@jeefpeef5983 I read this in David Mitchell’s voice. Also this made me feel a lot better after seeing the first jerk’s reply. 🥰

    • @mrgazpacho3316
      @mrgazpacho3316 3 роки тому +31

      @@DeathnoteBB you are right it isn't a medical term, it is a psychiatric term for someone at the extreme end of anti social personality disorder. You know what else isn't a medical term? Virtue signalling nincompoop.

  • @GodotOfficial
    @GodotOfficial 4 роки тому +777

    How single men on Reddit think dating works

    • @petitnicollas
      @petitnicollas 4 роки тому +38

      So you're telling me that's not how it works? Fuck, I spend thousands of dollars on sketchy dating courses.

    • @Thunar7
      @Thunar7 3 роки тому +5

      but it does work
      do you know how many ppl nowadays pay to be verbally abused?

    • @kjeldorantv
      @kjeldorantv 3 роки тому +32

      @@Thunar7 Yes, are you here for your argument sir? Oh abuse, that's down the hall.

    • @mikitz
      @mikitz 3 роки тому +1

      @@Thunar7 Those retards obviously don't know they could get that for absolutely free online.

    • @solouno2280
      @solouno2280 3 роки тому +4

      @@Thunar7 it works on submissive men, not on human beings

  • @DumMeister
    @DumMeister 6 років тому +1

    Anyone mind telling me what's the word he used before dullet? At 2:11

    • @bernicerogers2383
      @bernicerogers2383 3 місяці тому

      Soporific dullard.

    • @rhiburgess5616
      @rhiburgess5616 3 місяці тому +2

      Soporific - she’s so dull she is sleep-inducing.

    • @DumMeister
      @DumMeister 3 місяці тому

      @@rhiburgess5616 Thank you!

    • @JohnyG29
      @JohnyG29 2 місяці тому +1

      Dullard* not dullet.

  • @JohnGreasyGamer
    @JohnGreasyGamer 12 років тому +23

    I love these kind of sketches - the sadistic and everinsulting shopkeeper endlessly harassing the pitiful customer. Ah, they're so blissful and the comedy is simply genius. ^^

  • @usedforks
    @usedforks 9 років тому +145

    Wow, that was some dark stuff lmao

    • @kobathedread
      @kobathedread 8 років тому +12

      He's gonna make her do some nasty stuff.

    • @Nickelodeon81
      @Nickelodeon81 4 роки тому +1

      @@kobathedread Yep. Two words: Anàl Sex.

  • @galexeqe
    @galexeqe 4 роки тому +10

    Anyone else expecting him to say
    "Right, *you* can pick me up around 7pm. And don't be late"

  • @hossesarse
    @hossesarse 9 років тому +231

    I miss buying CDs in music stores. It was always a delight, buying a Weird Al Yankovic CD from a music PhD who disdainfully blows his bangs off his forehead at my selection: "I may be making minimum wage, but at least I don't listen to this drek."
    Sigh... god how I miss music stores.

    • @NowhereBeats
      @NowhereBeats 9 років тому +3

      Calamari Chris
      Where are you from?
      As in what part of the world doesn't have music stores?

    • @hossesarse
      @hossesarse 9 років тому +8

      Southern California, down by San Diego. We still have Lou's Records, but all the Tower Records, Warehouse Records, Ameoba Records, etc. are gone. I don't really miss them, was just having fun. :)

    • @SuperSquishface
      @SuperSquishface 9 років тому +5

      +Calamari Chris I wouldn't work in a place that sold Weird Al.

    • @Burguois
      @Burguois 9 років тому +19

      +Calamari Chris I don't know anyone who genuinely likes music who doesn't think Weird Al is a genius. Regardless of what you feel about his music, he's an amazingly talented guy. It's quite hard to think of any other musician that has the skills he does.
      Even other musicians respect him. it's a mark of honour to have Weird Al do a parody of your song: It's a sign that you've 'made it'

    • @SuperSquishface
      @SuperSquishface 9 років тому +3

      Christopher Janes
      I am genuinely a music fan/musician & I do not think he is a genius. i mean, I respect his accomplishments but genius? No.

  • @engletinaknickerbocker5380
    @engletinaknickerbocker5380 2 роки тому +23

    What's so funny is that it's totally unexpected. I started in a library putting books away when I knew the alphabet and numbers. My father was a schoolteacher and he and the librarian/English teacher carpooled, so I got a ride to school early (if I was ready to leave when the vehicle was ready to go). Ever since, I've had an affinity for libraries and knew the people that worked in them. I don't think I could've imagined anyone so brazenly rude.

    • @mokisan
      @mokisan 2 роки тому +2

      Its a comedy show mate😐

    • @engletinaknickerbocker5380
      @engletinaknickerbocker5380 2 роки тому +4

      @@mokisan There's this Japanese saying, "Tade kuu mushi mo sukizuki". 'mushi' means bugs, and 'sukizuki' means 'sense of taste' and the saying is translated, "Even some bugs find knotwood tasty," or 'There's no accounting for taste'. I don't find that sort of comedy tasteful, nor even 'funny' but maybe some folks do.

    • @mokisan
      @mokisan 2 роки тому +2

      @@engletinaknickerbocker5380 ya that's alright, if you dont find it funny. Got no problems with that as everyone different taste

    • @engletinaknickerbocker5380
      @engletinaknickerbocker5380 2 роки тому +1

      @@mokisan Thanks for your reply.

  • @fastertrackcreative
    @fastertrackcreative 9 років тому +12

    Yep, I had that experience at an interview... for an internship or something I think. Very upsetting. Most of it had nothing to do with the actual role, which I didn't know the details of. Luckily ones since then have been better.

  • @JeremyScoggins12
    @JeremyScoggins12 3 роки тому +11

    This is like the sober version of Black Books lol

  • @bjornflokison7443
    @bjornflokison7443 5 років тому +40

    she's so effortlessly pretty

  • @Boborbot
    @Boborbot 6 років тому +26

    Ever since I started working in a book store this is my favorite Mitch & Webb sketch.

  • @Weissmenchland
    @Weissmenchland 13 років тому +21

    "Are you still here you soporific dullard?" Class stuff.

  • @whiners131
    @whiners131 4 роки тому +38

    Really shocking that there are many youtube channels by self proclaimed "pick up artists" who employ essentially the same tactic from this sketch.

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens 2 роки тому

      PUAs basically just scattershot until they find a woman who's, unfortunately, been subjected to a sufficient degree of this common type of psychological damage in which she's been convinced by a misogynistic society that the only source of personal worth for a woman must come from without, a vulnerability the sexual predator then ruthlessly and dishonestly exploits for personal gain.
      And for some reason they think that's clever, rather than just immensely unethical and disgusting. It's like the way Cult45 thinks theft is sophisticated, rather than a short-sighted trading of short-term gain for greater long-term pain by clawing at the very social fabric that keeps twits like them, who would last about 30 seconds on their own, no matter what their overinflated egos tell them, alive.

  • @乙-f1s
    @乙-f1s 6 років тому +2

    I was faintly horrified.
    Very illuminating.

  • @georgefrost1176
    @georgefrost1176 11 років тому +28

    It's Philip Larkin!

    • @SuperNevile
      @SuperNevile Місяць тому

      His parents were responsible doncha know.

  • @Chentzilla
    @Chentzilla 4 дні тому

    Love how James has a 3-second part in it.

  • @Vesnicie
    @Vesnicie 10 років тому +4

    He was definitely channeling David Walliams in this one!

  • @artyfhartie2269
    @artyfhartie2269 3 роки тому

    I have been so courteous and nice with women and I have got nowhere. Thank you for the how to talk to women video.

  • @rexmundi1570
    @rexmundi1570 10 років тому +30

    Infinitely funnier than any of the old bollocks seen on Little Britain. Walliams and Lucas - the most overrated comedy duo in the history of British television - except for Little and Large, and then only by the tiniest margin.

  • @PlatoonGoon
    @PlatoonGoon 3 роки тому +2

    This hits different 12 years later lol I doubt it would be done now

  • @Stuart267
    @Stuart267 8 років тому +362

    Anyone else think Sherlock the moment he shouted "BORED"?

    • @halesrubie8604
      @halesrubie8604 8 років тому +2

      Stewart Damien Oh goodness, yes

    • @Dragonair08
      @Dragonair08 7 років тому +3

      Stewart Damien I was thinking it the whole time he was talking, but him yelling "Bored!" really drove it home. I've only just found these videos, I've been missing out.

    • @borismuller86
      @borismuller86 7 років тому +1

      If Sherlock ran out of cases he’d definitely become a librarian.

    • @tristunalekzander5608
      @tristunalekzander5608 6 років тому +1

      Shhh, it's a library.

    • @briipaiva
      @briipaiva 6 років тому

      he is the libarian hahahaha >u

  • @C.D.J.Burton
    @C.D.J.Burton 2 роки тому +1

    Webb is so good at this

  • @david552
    @david552 15 років тому +25

    I thought this was just going to be another version of the "Bad" sketches...
    but this is really scary! It walks that fine line between comedy and a drama about psychological abuse....
    so so creepy and horrible at the end when he asks her out....

    • @Maussiegamer
      @Maussiegamer 4 роки тому +3

      wow this shows an insight of how people commented 11 years ago

    • @becominghero9754
      @becominghero9754 2 роки тому +2

      @@Maussiegamer what, intelligently?

    • @Sundog1985
      @Sundog1985 2 роки тому +1

      Sadly, not far from the truth as to how many in the profession actually behave too.

    • @fulltimestudent1
      @fulltimestudent1 Рік тому +1

      @@Sundog1985 This could not be farther from truth. I've never been asked out by any librarian I've encountered.

    • @Sundog1985
      @Sundog1985 Рік тому +2

      @@fulltimestudent1 the personality, the belittling. It's often there. I obviously didn't mean that they all beat a person down for a date.

  • @equalsql7508
    @equalsql7508 5 років тому +9

    This is alarmingly accurate going by many libraries I've visited recently. I put it down to them being so pissed off with their jobs being at threat all the time they no longer give a toss about the job or the customers.

  • @MarkChimes
    @MarkChimes 7 років тому +8

    I know that this is the kind of thing I fear whenever I check out or return books at the library. "Whatever will the librarian think of me?"

  • @4Ninjastarz4
    @4Ninjastarz4 8 років тому +9

    Treat them mean to keep them keen :p

  • @templebrown7179
    @templebrown7179 4 роки тому +7

    I hate "negging" but it seems to work for some guys. I believe I would badly hurt anyone caught doing it to my nieces.

    • @ulrikschackmeyer848
      @ulrikschackmeyer848 4 роки тому +3

      In the mean time see it you can make sure that they are bought up with enough selfseem and spine to just say NO to some thing like this

  • @jimmorrison4291
    @jimmorrison4291 3 роки тому +10

    THAT'S where David got the women's magazine reference on WILTY. If you understand that sentence you watch too much youtube.

    • @TriploGoofus
      @TriploGoofus 3 роки тому

      I watch too much David Mitchell on UA-cam. Which is not enough UA-cam.

    • @jimmorrison4291
      @jimmorrison4291 3 роки тому

      @@TriploGoofus Which is why you, too, are an overbearing pedant?

    • @TriploGoofus
      @TriploGoofus 3 роки тому +3

      @@jimmorrison4291 if it's good enough for Mitchell it's good enough for me.

  • @ghjkltyu
    @ghjkltyu 11 років тому +91

    As a librarian, I can't help but laugh.

    • @escapegoat3472
      @escapegoat3472 2 роки тому +15

      Quietly I hope.

    • @MrBenHaynes
      @MrBenHaynes 2 роки тому +2

      Is it funny because it's true?

    • @alexvaughan5269
      @alexvaughan5269 2 роки тому +1

      "I can't help, but I can laugh"..?

    • @Sundog1985
      @Sundog1985 2 роки тому +2

      @@MrBenHaynes as a former librarian, this kind of tool is someone I am sadly familiar with. The librarian in the sketch

  • @nathanr5737
    @nathanr5737 3 роки тому

    Genuinely one if not of my favourite sketches

  • @noelmajers6369
    @noelmajers6369 6 років тому +7

    "I went to Warwick" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Murrangurk2
    @Murrangurk2 3 роки тому +1

    Geelong Public Library, Geelong, Victroria, Australia, 1990's. Why I stopped going to public libraries.

  • @theDingbat
    @theDingbat 11 місяців тому +3

    This is so sinister. And I thought Mitchell was the one who usually played the sadists

  • @williamfoy599
    @williamfoy599 2 роки тому

    I live not too far from Leatherhead (three railway stations) and there is nothing wrong with it. Nice leisure centre, nice shopping centre, have a pretty walk along the River Mole. Good theatre. Nearest cinema is Epsom Odeon, two railway stations away. Leatherhead also has a decent selection of pubs and restaurants.

    • @SuperNevile
      @SuperNevile Місяць тому

      I believe I passed through there once on my way to Effingham.

  • @SongSparrow1
    @SongSparrow1 8 років тому +13

    Librarians used to be like this.

  • @jerryodonovan8624
    @jerryodonovan8624 Рік тому

    I wonder how the little date worked put? What a nice understanding librarian.

  • @PRmoustache88
    @PRmoustache88 11 років тому +52

    He reminds me of Melvin Udall, when he is asked, "How do you understand women so well?"
    Melvin: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

    • @omyyer
      @omyyer 10 років тому +3

      ***** which basically means everyone apart from me

    • @DrZaius3141
      @DrZaius3141 6 років тому +6

      Spot the MRAron incel.^^

    • @power9k470
      @power9k470 6 років тому

      @Evi1M4chine Man,you are a prophet.

    • @yellowblanka6058
      @yellowblanka6058 6 років тому +3

      Evi1M4chine - bingo, nearly everybody is always trying to pass the buck, extremely resistant to owning their mistakes/weaknesses etc. - this isn't gender specific.

    • @yellowblanka6058
      @yellowblanka6058 6 років тому +3

      Cornflakes - so you're telling me there are no women's prisons, and no woman has ever been tried and convicted for murdering her husband/children etc.?

  • @rangerquiet6192
    @rangerquiet6192 3 роки тому +2

    If ever anyone asks me what negging is I simply link them to this.

  • @slothfromthegoonies8201
    @slothfromthegoonies8201 9 років тому +3

    Best pick-up technique *ever*.

  • @michaelfisher9671
    @michaelfisher9671 2 роки тому

    What is the significance of the librarian adjusting something at his collar, in the last line?

  • @SpectralKnight
    @SpectralKnight 11 років тому +24

    The fuck, mayor plot twist

  • @PMS1950
    @PMS1950 8 місяців тому

    I've always found librarians extremely helpful - from a distance or providing I don't ask for the 'Which' index or 'Amateur Photographer'.

    • @SuperNevile
      @SuperNevile Місяць тому

      "Amateur Photographer"? Say no more, say no more..............Sorry wrong comedy show.....

  • @sixdsix5028
    @sixdsix5028 8 років тому +57

    His voice reminds me of Benedict Cumberbatch's voice.

    • @frh6668
      @frh6668 8 років тому +3

      Michael D they have a very similar accent

    • @dansaunders1655
      @dansaunders1655 8 років тому

      Michael D Jude Law was Watson in the newer Sherlock Holmes film series. This librarian sounds like Benedict Cumberbatch, aka. Sherlock in the TV series. Mitchell and Webb are the Illuminati.

    • @Metal-Possum
      @Metal-Possum 7 років тому +3

      Benadryl Cucumberpatch?

  • @seanhammond6708
    @seanhammond6708 7 років тому

    Best sketch show of the past 2 decades

  • @TheValeyard92
    @TheValeyard92 11 років тому +68

    And in the comments you shall see the way in which Society will end:
    No less than four conversations worth of Americans and Britons throwing babyish insults based on unsubstantiated stereotypes at each other for no reason on a video that has fuck all to do with American/British differences.

  • @IoEstasCedonta
    @IoEstasCedonta Рік тому +1

    This is what I feel like every time I look through my Audible history.

  • @markseb2003
    @markseb2003 10 років тому +10

    Yup, the "neg" in action. That guy's got game!

  • @lusteraliaszero
    @lusteraliaszero 11 років тому

    Probably their best sketch bar none.

  • @dinnaehuv1
    @dinnaehuv1 13 років тому +14

    I must admit, this is actually pretty genius in a very sick way.

  • @regpharvey
    @regpharvey Рік тому +2

    She's so cute though. I'd love to grow old with a woman like her, both of us sitting in armchairs in the front room reading together as the snow falls softly outside the window. And she can read whatever. she. wants.

  • @seanwebb605
    @seanwebb605 Рік тому +4

    I'm Canadian. This is how we feel when we visit the U.S.

    • @seanwebb605
      @seanwebb605 Рік тому +2

      @@Delowist I don't think you understand.

    • @SuperNevile
      @SuperNevile Місяць тому

      I'm English. This is how I would feel if I understood Welsh.

  • @Michael-hw5wk
    @Michael-hw5wk Місяць тому

    I only work in libraries, but I have never insulted the patrons (other than adding funny notes about them in their accounts). It was disturbing that the majority of items being checked out were movies (and terrible ones at that), and that they often complained we did not rent video games. I am actually amazed libraries exist in the U.S. anymore as so few people read today.

  • @ericcartmansh
    @ericcartmansh 13 років тому +3

    OMG that was beautifully done

  • @GreatFlamingEyebrows_
    @GreatFlamingEyebrows_ 7 років тому +1

    Best impersonation of Sherlock ever

  • @darkprose
    @darkprose 12 років тому +29

    I feel two different ways about this. The good part of me feels terrible for this poor woman. The evil part of me enjoys it a little, and gives me a weird kind of horrible thrill.

  • @Autotrope
    @Autotrope 3 роки тому

    Oh she's from Ideal. My favourite show ever

  • @doswillrule
    @doswillrule 12 років тому +101

    What any self respecting librarian would do when someone tries to borrow Fifty Shades of Grey

    • @liammhodonohue
      @liammhodonohue 3 роки тому +1

      Every charity (thrift store🇺🇲) shop has at least 3 copies of each volume. Even the parody - 50 Sheds of Grey😂

    • @bjb7587
      @bjb7587 2 роки тому

      Up to and including The Date part.

  • @beorntwit711
    @beorntwit711 2 роки тому

    Does anyone know how to find their "The Insulting..." video that happens in a school? I found it once a long long time ago, and never saw it again.

  • @pauldog
    @pauldog 13 років тому +2

    One of the most genius mitchel and webb moments if you ask me hahaha