Some of my friends are wondering what it would be like to marry an American woman ... What are the character traits and behavior patterns typical of women born and raised in the US? ... Could you please make a video covering this issue? Thank you ... - Moscow, Russia
No Offense Ms Ryan, I disagree about being closer to the curb, when it was being talked about on Facebook, and I don't see how it has anything to do with being a gentleman. If a car has more maneuverability than a bullet then a car would have to try to swerve onto the curb, there would have to be a lot of Sunday drivers for that to be comparable to bullets. I'm interested in respecting where people walk in most cases and taking a bullet for those I care about. I'd appreciate a video showing data as to why people feel justified in "protecting" their companion by not respecting their movement and forcibly moving them out of the curb when generally speaking, not much happens, making it feel pointless and not treating their companion like an adult. I'm asking how and why people cheerlead this and I'm not sure but I don't think I've ever seen it in a movie like the rest of the chivalrous cliches. Also, if it's such a phenomenon, then why Is there no caution signs on all curbs.
@@steelfanther328 As an American, nothing good. self-centered and entitled are the default. exceptions are rare. the US is probably the worst place you could possibly look for a wife.
@@LadislausMarguspa Oh, my! How about all those kind, understanding and self-sacrificing ladies portrayed in Hallmark movies we watch here? Is it all a shameless lie or what?
I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, but when I was dating my other half, I really appreciated that she offered to split the bill on basically every date, except where I made it clear beforehand it was on me. It was also really appealing when she suggested dates / activities too. It feels so much less one-sided that way, and it reinforced the feeling that she actively wanted to spend time with me.
When she asks questions about you, and she at least waits a few questions before dropping the "what do you do for work?" She treats you with respect and not just wondering what resources you have.
Some go even further than that…right there in their bios, they say they want to be spoiled or some other comment that eludes to “you’d be lucky to date this so you better spend money on me”…
I personally think the question, what do you do for work is fine by me? What would turn me off on the first date is asking, how much money do you make? But asking about someone's career for me is great and keeps the conversation going. And even if your current job sucks, this allows you to want to think ahead 5 years from now on what you plan on doing to change your current situation to better yourself on your career goals. 😅 Like for me, even with a college education I was working full time in a warehouse for almost 5 years. But I ended up switching into tech. When dating I will definitely use this as my go to conversation to show confidence about myself that if I work hard enough I can overcome obstacles lol.
A number of things: Asking me out before I ask her. Refusing to let me pay for them, and at least saying thank you when I insist. Being considerate, and polite. A good listener, and asks questions about me. But the big one is having a great sense of humour where the two of us are constantly laughing and having a good time throughout the time we have together.
Courtney you could not be more spot on. I am 65 and married 40 years “to the same woman”. Hearing the points was a great refresher for me. My experience is the best true to your self enjoy dating and and meeting people and I guarantee you when he or she comes along you will feel it and you will know it. It may sound old fashioned but finding a mate is as old as time and no need to be reinvented. Life is hard commit and don’t quit.
I've always been a believer that not rushing things can make for a great time in dating. Instead of trying to escalate things too fast to achieve a goal, controlling the pace might even make the woman more inclined to take some initiative on her end to show interest.
And if you wanna make sure you have one that is good, and has real interest and isn’t just chasing an emotion…. You let her prove she is worth your time and commitment.
agree, and super-rare, in most people in modern culture who are emotional infants I'm largely demisexual (also sapiosexual)- looks matter to me the least as long as you are healthy+have good hygiene I've experienced growing a physical attraction to someone after finding them emotionally mature and reversely, thought someone was good looking to start but then I couldn't find them physically attractive at all after their emotional immaturity was seen
I find an emotional mature woman to be a lot more impressive. I’m talking bout somebody that got their head on straight, don’t play games, and they treat you like any other person. Women like that are rare in our society.
this is all so true Courtney! I am applying all these principles in my new relationship, but what I find the most important is the #1. It's crucial to really taking the time to get to know each other , being able to ask the right questions and figuring out if there's alignment and compatibility. It's not only about He auditioning for Her, but the man needs to be in a position of knowing what he wants and what he is looking for, and not just letting anybody in just out of scarcity mindset. This is one of the best videos you've made yet, pure golden information here.! Thanks so much for taking the time to putting this together.
1. Men are fast paced, taking things slow with a woman shows them that you can slow down and they're worth your time. Women don't want to fight for your attention. 2. Women like confidence, be the one that sets up dates. If chores need to be done, do them without having to be asked. 3. Manage your emotions. Be aware of what emotion you're putting out. Do you get super happy, sad, angry, etc. Being level headed at the right times and vulnerable at different ones 4. Being kind, courteous, and overall a gentleman. Considerate 5. Be positive, don't be negative all the time
Never be vulnerable in front of women. Most of them instantly lose respect. You never want a woman to pity you, believe me. To take out your gentleman self you need a lady. Good luck with that one with modern women.
Women want to have to fight for your attention. Anything that's given easily is seen as less valuable. Any moderately attractive woman gets attention thrown at her from hundreds of guys, the one she wants is always the one she has to earn.
@@Kashban lot of men confuse vulnerability with being a pussy. If you be a pussy about your hardships ya they lose respect for you. You can be vulnerable with your masculinity attatched. The difference is vulnerability with a "but I will and always have triumphed over it" attitude, vs "woe is me my I'm a victim".
So...just be perfect. And then the women can say or act any way she wants, if anything goes awry, then its obviously the guys fault. Simple! Why didnt I think of that?
As a guy who always takes things slow, I noticed that less and less women are willing to the same. It used to be the rule that men dived into relationships and they wanted things to happen fast, while women wanted more time. But now I feel like people in general are less and less patient, they want either for things to work out really fast, or move on to other things.
It is true, but you don't want that for yourself. I know that's the game 80% people play, but you'll either manage to tune down someone at your own pace and that's a very good sign, or just meet someone within the same frequency. Overall I actually think it is normal that the pace is a bit unbalanced at first. The extremes are not worth it at all.
- If a woman attempts to pay on some dates that is highly appreciated and saying thank you when I insist, shows that you are not the wallet in a relationship - If she is taking the positive perspective of a situation ( instead of testing with negative comment ) - If she is supportive and understanding - Being able to communicate effectively
Things that make women attractive I date, in no particular order: 1. They actively take part in the conversation, including asking _me_ questions now and then. 2. They genuinely laugh in response to something genuinely funny. 3. They sometimes take the lead in suggesting date ideas and planning them. 4. They sometimes smile when looking at me. (Even better, they sometimes laugh with their eyes.) 5. They don't mind if I _sometimes_ forget or fumble gentlemanly things, like opening doors. 6. They have a positive outlook more often than negative. (Everyone has negative outlooks now and then, and it's a partner's duty to provide support in those cases.) 7. They sometimes initiate physical contact (other than a platonic hug), most likely after I've first done it, maybe two or three dates into the relationship. 8. They have more money than me. (Just kidding.) 9. They take pride in their appearance, and dress appropriately for the occasion. (Casual clothes for casual activities, etc.) They don't have to have the body of an athlete. 10. They realize we're equals in the relationship. 11. They fight fair when an argument erupts. (Shades of my marriage...) 12. They accept my reasonable shortcomings. (And obviously reject any that might be unreasonable.) I could probably write a hundred of these.
6:30 on a first date when I cried when the girl asked why I visited the hospital (it was a bad time), she said that my crying was comforting knowing I wasn’t an emotionaless brick. Fucked on the first date too. Moved to fast and was too vulnerable. Woopsies
You uploaded a video like this just in time. I have a Hinge date on Sunday and I’ll definitely be sure to give it a watch after work today. 😁 Thank you so much for your advice, Courtney!
"Taking things slow" isn't attractive to all women. I'm an old school man myself, who naturally treats women with respect; so I don't anticipate sex early into dating someone. So, imagine my surprise when I called my lady friend at the time to setup our third date, when she boldly asked "Will sex be included this time?". As for dating turn offs: one of the biggest for me, is when on a date a woman behaves like she's a prize to be won, appearing disengaged, preoccupied, distracted, or like I'm supposed to "entertain" her somehow.
Agreed. Women in todays dating world act like there are a prize to be won and I hate that. I feel like dating changed after Covid. Was in 2 long term relationships beforehand, but the gals I go on dates with now act and treat men as disposable commodities. At least recently. Literally went on a date with a gal a few months ago who literally took a voluntary work call at 8 pm while at dinner. It seriously pissed me off because it showed she could give fuck all about me. If a guy did this to a gal she would leave and honestly, I should’ve. She was telling me to shush and all. Another one was still hung up on her ex and was like bragging about him and I asked her why she was on a date with me if she felt this way. She got quiet and said they wanted different things but turns out she was cheating on him 🙃
I lost my GF of 6months few weeks ago and since then I felt like I was "not enough" for her or for anybody. Watching this video now, knowing that I'm gentleman, I move her to the side of the road to protect her, I was taking things slow and really trying my best to be the best partner makes me smile again. I KNOW IM ENOUGH and I will be good partner for next lady who will appreciate my worth. Thank you Courtney
The more I watch your videos, the more I see reasons why my wife tells me how much she appreciates me. I know myself worth but it feels good to know you're on the right track while there's always room for growth. I'm thankful for who I am and i was raised.
Important things: 1:40 First thing - Taking thing slowly; 3:36 Second thing - Taking initiative; 5:06 Third thing - Emotional maturity; 6:49 Fourth thing - Being a gentleman; 8:17 Fifth thing - Positive affect; 9:10 Agree with that told moral as well; 10:15 Total respect for that told Courtney - generally positive so true; 11:15 The way of reaction in either head or heart is one very important thing, and that is very well said; and 11:27 to summarize all the told things as well. Since you asked what do I find attractive I can say that some of the things that men has to be, that can be also used for women as well. What I mean is: 1. Just like you have told that what men have in either head and in heart as well, that can be also applied to women as well. Meaning that she showing this positive vibes, she is relaxed, and enjoying as well; 2. Emotional maturity is also here as well what I prefer as well there, just like it's told with men as well; 3. The positive affect that women give as well. 4. Being kind, having a good sense of humor as well. To understand one thing: I like when women are gorgeous, and beautiful, but if the things that I have mentioned aren't here, then we don't have to discuss about the crucial things as well. I can also say this thing as well. If we are going generally to speak what is the best behavior of men, that would be one thing. And that is being a gentleman. I will always be a gentleman, no matter what will happen, and what occasion are there as well. Why? Because that's who am I.
I can understand that building a lasting bond with a potential partner takes time, but for the most part, two people can determine whether there is chemistry between them fairly quickly. It shouldn't take more than the first date to gauge whether there is something worth pursuing, but I suppose figuring out whether you both share the same values can also take time, and that's what ultimately holds a couple together over the long-term, not just that initial spark.
@8:17 "positive effect" is a term no-one users, aside from verbose academics, apparently. What you mean is, "being fun to be around", or "being mostly in a good mood" and "not bringing work home with you". For guys, they might want to put this under "frame control" and handling yourself/themselves. It would also help if you do things like say "I'm not in a great mood right now, but it's not you" or even "it's ok" and manage the conversation.
When used as a word to mean “emotional disposition” the word “affect” is pronounced with emphasis on the first syllable: AFF ect, instead of the usual aff ECT.
I am a firm believer in pacing the dating process, not rushing it! This takes so much pressure and stress off! That's why speed dating doesn't work and isn't practical...my opinion For women, I like that they're able to relax, banter, and be supportive. They're not them boss babes, nor will they run at first sign of conflict
I really appreciate your tips and advices, I've watched UA-cam channels in my native language and i can say that it's same behaviors showing confidence and positive mindset greetings from Colombia.
My favorite female dating behavior is when they show up on time. If she expects me to ask, plan and pay for the date, she can at least be timely. My dates are so consistently late that I make the reservation 15 minutes later than I tell her.
You're very kind in saying that he was average because when I see a gorgeous girl suddenly act very negative, her physical appearance suddenly starts to look unattractive to me. An average girl with a lot of positivity suddenly has a more attractive physical appearance.
thank you Courtney, the positive effect section of the video is something that i needed to hear a long time ago to reflect in my negative way of thinking, also the way you describe it is so accurate that is like a vampire vibes, that's exactly how it feels, it makes me so tired to think so negatively often
Magic Spoon is a legit cereal! I’ve been eating it for a year now. It is pricey though, but it keeps my diet going, at least mentally. I eat mostly chicken and rice 3 times a day for 3 years now. Yeah it’s basic bland food lol. Hot sauce is a must!!!
I love when a girl is direct when talking to you, not dancing around the bush. I also love when they get you small things (i.e. they wake up before you and bought you an iced coffee)
What I find attractive about a woman are, sweet, supportive, understanding, great with kids, a good girlfriend, good wife, and good mother, and a sense of humor.
Just an fyi, the word "affect" in the quote you read from, the standard pronunciation isn't like "effect" (how you did it). The initial 'a' sound is like the 'a' in 'cat' or 'hat'. And the emphasis is on the first syllable, so it's "A-ffect" not "Af-FECT". Same rule apples for "affective", it's more like 'A-ffective' rather than 'a-FFECT-ive' Promise I'm not trying to be a jerk, just offering you a heads up. Really appreciate your content.
I we've found another confliction. We are to be kind and confident, strong and protective, but at the right moment...vulnerable. I'm not disagreeing, I can see it working in my mind, but not in reality. I appreciate that you say you must know someone some before you show you vulnerabilities, I agree, but there's more than that too. I would caution against using 'vulnerabilities" as any sort of a 'hook'. IMO, the 'when' you reveal the deep vulnerabilities matters a lot also. Example: NEVER when leading up to sex. Do it during pillow talk after sex, when the oxytocin is making it's presents known, it will have much more chance of a positive impact. Before sex is NOT the time for a man to show any weakness, particularly for a new love. That is me Tarzan, you Jane time. Time to lead, let the tiger out.
They hear vulnerability, and they hear weakness But a natural vulnerability is something you open up and share with someone who you equally love respect and trust if you cannot be vulnerable with someone especially in your private moments, then you may want to evaluate yourself and why Vulnerability is a weight and a responsibility Not just of yourself, but of the person you’re with to know how much and how often and if it’s something you can share, and it also shows trust and responsibility of your partner with that vulnerability and some vulnerabilities can only be known in time because they can only be shared with time and understanding and love sometimes to understand the vulnerability you have to walk with somebody it’s not something you can just tell. walking with the one you love can bring more understanding than just hearing it as reading a book that takes growing with them and commitment on both sides, striving towards your goal of being together
literally me, taking things slow is a necessity for me but most everyone I have experienced seems to want to quickly jump in.. of which I have zero interest. stress as you stated.
I can attest to being positive. I went to a Tsngo dance last Saturday For the first two hours I was in a good mood, dancing 10-11 Tandas in a row (2-4 song sets), with only a song or two break. I was approached by many people to chat when I was not dancing. Then my body hit that wall....I wore myself out, with my body not willing to dance. I must of looked it too, because no one approached me to chat. I was the wall trim to the door I was near to.
Appreciation of the things we do that are attractive are some of the most attractive things a woman can do. And being positive. Light. And reciprocal. As I said, appreciation is good and counts as reciprocation IMO, but other ways are great too.
although i truly love watching your video/s hearing your perspective talking about different traits and taking care of yourself what not learning all these new tips and tricks a suggestion i would recommend would be anytime you're talking about a certain "toPIC" such as humour right beside it you can incorporate a photo of a celebrity who has that reputation doing that trait for example Eminem he called himself that because his real name is Marshall Mathers as in M & M or Jim Carrey not only is humour subjective everyone has different levels to it and taste after all some enjoy puns like myself while others might love culture jokes
It's not something I've actually seen on a date, sadly, but one trait I find profoundly attractive is sensitivity: if she can really pick up on how you're feeling, and has the tact to address it properly, it's an ENORMOUS plus.
showing vulnerability is a process and is phased, and the best way I've found to just start that is with humility. Share a story where you derp'd on something, learned a simple lesson and laughed it off later. There, you just exhibited a smidge of vulnerability.
The worst part of this was the cereal. If i eat cereal, i want it packed with sugar so the milk tastes better at the end. Fruity pebbles ftw. Oh yeah, good video👍
1. Taking Things Slow - Okay so taking slow I agree with that’s what I did when I entered my first relationship with a real girl I’ve been with for 6 years soon as of this August coming up. 2. Taking Initiative - Yeah I have took initiative in the past by just showing her on what I can get done with or without help in leadership skills, and I can make good decisions about what I want in a relationship but I do see her a lot more but on the other hand we do see each other but as long as I have the time too see her but my schedule has to match up with her mom’s schedule so if she wanted to get me her mom for example because her mom would be my ride I’d coordinate to find out if she’s available after I am done with school but if not then I would ask my driver if he could take me down to girlfriend’s house and if not then I’m kinda screwed because that’s my only ride because I cannot do Uber or Lyft because they charge a lot of money and usually they charge by the mile so I wouldn’t think it be a an option so I would have to go home I know that sucks but sometimes my girlfriend has availability and I do too but maybe her doesn’t, so I know it’s a major pain in the ass sometimes for us to be far like we don’t live in the same area we are about 30-45 min away I know that’s nothing and I do wish I could go down but it really depends on her schedule and her mom’s schedule too. So it’s like a waiting game when I have to wait but when it comes to dates or doing something special and if I have money I will make sure to appreciate her and so I will take the initiative to buy her favorite chocolate and a orchid or flowers. 3. Emotional Maturity - Yeah so Emotional Maturity I do my best to be that way I’d say I’m on the opposite end instead of getting upset I just think about okay I’m mad but I’m not gonna take it out on my girlfriend I do my best too talk it out like a normal person but with her it’s the opposite, but she’s working on it. 4. Being a Gentleman - I usually am a gentleman I always make sure to be respectful and honest and kindness and to be patient and to be a great listener and I always do my best to hold the door for people but also including women that way I know gentleman etiquette stays sharp. 5. Positive Effects - Yes I do my best to have a positive effect and all that and more.
Advice please. 🙏 I've hired a number of contractors, but recently hired one that I have a serious crush on. I can't tell if he feels the same. Is he flirting with me or just being friendly?!? 🤔 At night 🌙 he sends me pics 📷 of his dog 🐕, chats & jokes 🤣 with me & just recently he wanted to introduce me to his son 👦, who was in town from his home 🏡& work [2,000 miles away]. Is he flirting or just being friendly?!? 🤔
Ngl there are a LOT of women who are killing chivalry. I've had grimaces doing gentlemanly things, not only that but my ex for example once had a go at me for letting her go through a door first and was like "I don't like that. I hate going first, you should lead". Men these days just get mixed signals and it's hard to tell how the women we're dating are going to react to it. It's confusing. I feel sorry for the women who do like gentlemen as the bitter women who bitch about it are ruining it for them. You hear a lot of women these days complaining there are no gentlemen left anymore and it's their own fault, let's be honest.
Wish I could come up with something to say about this, but I don't just absorbing as much information as possible without overthinking it, in which I'm trying not do as much.
The best of the best! The reason I do not go to your telegram is that this does it for me! I wish I had enough time for both! Much better than Corry Wayne's that I used to watch! This is what I want for a proper relationship!
A nice analogy I once heard about taking things slow is "Dating is like driving a car, you have to know when to press the brake so that you don't make a wrong turn, or worse, crash!"
So if I were to make a quick list of the most prominent behaviors that women do that I personally find attractive or compelling in a relationship, it would go something like this: 1. Communicate your wants, needs and preferences in a constructive and respectful manor 2. Show understanding and appreciation (empathy) to me, yourself, your "community", etc. (To me, this is what respect looks like in action). This DOES NOT mean be a doormat 3. Contribute to intelligent conversations, especially if it requires confidence/vulnerability 4. Don't be wealth/object obsessed and show a sense of responsibility around money. Its fine to have things you like and to spend money but it can't be your personality. I want a woman who primarily focuses on PEOPLE and not THINGS. 5. Don't be an a*****e. frequent narcissistic behavior, sexist behavior (which is disturbingly common), or abusive behavior... honestly if you're not sure what "don't be an a*****e" means (within the context of your own gender or generally), maybe google it and/or talk to a professional about that 6. Be able to define and maintain your own boundaries and respect those of others. big and small. 7. A bonus one (ok fine 6 was a bonus too): have defined goals that you're working towards in all or most facets of your life. These do NOT have to be major goals. It shows me you have an eye to the future and you want to work to make things better which is a KEY component of a healthy long term relationship (two people working towards a better future together while showing appreciation for where they are and what they have now). Eg: I don't care if you are currently overweight so long as you have a plan and you're working on it. but if your stance is: meh f it, people should just accept me for who I am and I have no intention of changing behavior. ok well, if you want to be my partner, obesity has a TON of very negative long term health consequences that you are now asking me, as your partner, to deal with... no thank you. Another example is hyper negativity or sulking, refusing to go to counseling/therapy or work on it, I should just deal with your depression while you do nothing to deal with the underlying issues? no thank you. you're constantly in debt but you refuse to budget or do any financial planning and you think it should just be someone else's job to come in and shower you with gold? no thank you. I'm looking for a partner, not a dependent. This list is definitely not exhaustive but its a great start, imo
Beyond leadership that she is looking for, she is also looking for strong self esteem, and if he is secure in his sexuality. Because in these skills he will find it easier to be a co-creator with her in the direction of the relationship. Without this skill he is the head of the house, and the relationship; she only follows. When putting in effort, we often only see what it is that we value, and blind to everything else. An emotionally mature couple will be mindful of the strengths and attributes that we each hold, that keeps the relationship securely in a co-creative balance. "That" skill that grants us the ability to navigate emotions effectively. Mature vulnerability comes with personal improvement. It's not something we're born with. Maturity in general comes with personal improvement for both men and women. A mature man is continuously expanding his emotional skills. So he has no "staying power" with an immature woman, or one that can't keep up. March on, brave one.
Best opener or ice breaker when ya haven't seen her in a while(10+ days) AFTER previously seeing each other on the daily and doin the eye dance consistently but never spoke to each other before?
I generally agree with the point about being positive vs always being negative, but I think a very important point has to be brought up. For aguy who has had a rough go of dating (a good deal of it is my fault when self-reflecting on it, so I am not denying that), and has become a little cynical about dating, i want to ask can we really blame that mindset about dating when that is all you have ever experienced? As a guy you are damned if you do/damned if you don't. You have these feelings that you cannot share. If you do share, you are seen as unattractive, thereby fulfilling the self-fulfilling prophecy and starting the cycle anew, but if you do not share you also become more jaded because you wallow in your own miserable thoughts. What is a guy supposed to do in those cases? I am not saying you shouldn't try and be better, but its not as easy as just be happier lol (not saying that is her point). Just something I have been thinking about.
Even if the reasons behind being negative is understandable, it is still not fun being with someone like that. You have to face the facts, even if you think it's normal for you to not be positive, it is still not fun having someone always negative in a social group. You can't ask for pity cause you have a good reason for spreading negativity, people will just go somewhere else where someone is actually able to go through tough times and still be someone fun to be around.
Hi Courtney, thank you for another great video. I was hoping you could do a video about what you think about this new "incel" culture: "young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active".
Thanks for the videos! I'm going on my first date in 4 years after splitting with fiancé. Wish me luck, the gal I'm meeting up with is 14 year younger than me, so im a bit nervous. 😂
Why are there so many "rules", or boxes we must check off? Or it seems men HAVE TO BE PERFECT in order to even be considered as a possible date (unless he's "hot" or "cute" than he could be Ted Bundy or Charles Manson but that would be irrelevant because "He's hot/cute".) Whatever happened to "Nobody's PERFECT"; and just accepting a few flaws, or even minor quirks? Especially considering I doubt that whoever the woman may be isn't without a few of her own which she EXPECTS - snd probably even DEMANDS - any man she dates to accept.
And thus, the reason why the general dating scene in the US is a disaster, and why almost nobody looks for a partner there. We're better off trying our luck elsewhere 'cause I'm sure many places have women that are not ridiculously demanding like we see here, and fewer boxes to check off
@michaelrespicio5683 Whatever happened to letting nature take it's course; or just letting things happen and see how things turn out? Going with the flow, having a good/fun time together with no pressure to meet some preconceived expectations or demands. Especially when the one's expecting these high standards usually aren't of the highest qualities, or standards themselves. (aka Who/What makes them God's gift to Men/Women to expect or worse ' DEMAND "perfection" in a partner; or even just a date.
I hate when you first meet a woman or go out with a woman and they spend a bunch of time talking about an ex or multiple exes. The only positive part is it let’s me know you’re not over them yet and I need not waste my time.
top woman traits: 1.) confidence in self! - no makeup(including lipstick), hair dye, polished nails, plucked eyebrows, etc. - be comfortable in your own body and appearance, the insecurity denoted by all of these things is a HUGE turnoff 2.) communication - be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings - again, insecurity is a huge turnoff, if you can't express yourself or share what you think and feel about something without fear of being judged, it's a problem 3.) interest in my thoughts and feelings - I get asked so many details about the surface things in my life, not about who I am as a person, what I think and feel about meaningful issues, aspects of life, existence - if you care about how much money I have over how much growth and healing I've done in life: shallow and a turn off 4.) sensuality - comfortable with physical intimacy and the ability to know what you like, want, need in seexual compatibility - so many people afraid to talk about these things because of the unhealthy immature society/culture around seex, but being able to talk maturely and figure out if there is compatibility BEFORE engaging in physical intimacy is essential: I am a man who loves love-making for 3-6 hours at a time with extreme tactile sensual romantic ecstatic deep sharing - spirit&body are intrinsically bound and the connection and compatibility must be there for a healthy relationship (or if it doesn't matter to you at all, you need to be able to be upfront with that - plenty of guys out there who don't like it as much as society brainwashes people into thinking) 5.) vulnerability - again, insecurity in who you are is a huge turn off, if you can't allow your guard to be down, admit the truth about your personality, and engage through courage instead of fear, no thanks
I usually find beauty products a turn-off unless there are health benefits involved. We shouldn't be afraid to show off our real selves, as loving oneself needs to happen before we can love others.
@@grahamdamberger7130 I call them 'vanity' products and consider 'natural' to be beautiful, in all its variety, but aesthetic appeal is something that is personalized, and compatibility goes far beyond looks we know, it is about energistic connection, you don't deny the physical appeals, but don't be shallow or overly dependent/focused on them and yes, if you don't love yourself, you shouldn't be seeking a relationship, which honestly I think 95% of people aren't developed enough emotionally for a serious intimate relationship, and should be more focused on simply connecting with fellow-minded+hearted humans they can get along with. too much disconnect in this world and focus on 'a partner' instead of community, family, neighbors
@@mjkittredge that has NOTHING to do with hygiene or grooming, everything to do with vanity insecurity extreme if you feel compelled to pluck eyebrows, if you can't understand that, you are deeeeep into your insecurity
@@zerpblerd5966 people taking care of themselves isn't vanity. I have crazy eyebrow hairs that will curve downards towards my eyes or become curly and they're just a nuisance. having a neat orderly appearance is part of grooming. You're really deep into this pet theory of yours.
I like when women offer to pay her half of the date. I like when they convey wholesome, simple, and inexpensive interests. For example, fixing meals at home over eating out, saving for a house over spending every last dollar on making payments on a fancy car. Drinking milk, tea, or flavored water over expensive, intoxicative alcohol or expensive Starbucks' drinks.
3 off the top of my head that make women attractive (to me): 1.) They let me lead without being combative 2.) They laugh at goofiness and can have fun with it 3.) They can hold a quality conversation
I don't know why but I get intensely turned off by girls who pose with alcohol in their dating app pictures or put "Wine" as their hobby. First thing that jumps to my mind is "You mean to say that you have so little personality that you have to substitute it with booze" Personally I don't have an issue with people who drink alcohol, I've tried it but just dislike the taste of it.
Courtney, could you speak about how cringe and insecure it is that so many men (and some women) assume you're exclusive just because you had a great date or two and hooked up? I mean, there's a spark of connection (great!) but so many guys violate "Taking things slow" by conflating sex with relationship exclusivity and immediately become possessive and insecure douchebags. Unfortunately, this results in stalking and even more serious criminal acts. It's this sort of behaviour that ruins it for the rest of us guys that know our self worth due to our daily efforts at self improvement and know a fun time is just that - and that there are plenty more options that will work in the right time and place.
Do you have a production crew or you make these videos mostly yourself? Some UA-camrs are willing to share what kind of equipment they use. Would you be open to sharing that?
Use my code COURTNEYRYAN to get $5 off your delicious, high protein Magic Spoon cereal by clicking this link: magicspoon.com/courtneyryan
Some of my friends are wondering what it would be like to marry an American woman ...
What are the character traits and behavior patterns typical of women born and raised in the US? ...
Could you please make a video covering this issue?
Thank you ...
- Moscow, Russia
👍
No Offense Ms Ryan, I disagree about being closer to the curb, when it was being talked about on Facebook, and I don't see how it has anything to do with being a gentleman. If a car has more maneuverability than a bullet then a car would have to try to swerve onto the curb, there would have to be a lot of Sunday drivers for that to be comparable to bullets. I'm interested in respecting where people walk in most cases and taking a bullet for those I care about. I'd appreciate a video showing data as to why people feel justified in "protecting" their companion by not respecting their movement and forcibly moving them out of the curb when generally speaking, not much happens, making it feel pointless and not treating their companion like an adult. I'm asking how and why people cheerlead this and I'm not sure but I don't think I've ever seen it in a movie like the rest of the chivalrous cliches. Also, if it's such a phenomenon, then why Is there no caution signs on all curbs.
@@steelfanther328 As an American, nothing good. self-centered and entitled are the default. exceptions are rare. the US is probably the worst place you could possibly look for a wife.
@@LadislausMarguspa
Oh, my!
How about all those kind, understanding and self-sacrificing ladies portrayed in Hallmark movies we watch here?
Is it all a shameless lie or what?
Here's the summary:
1. 1:42 - Taking Things Slow
2. 3:37 - Taking Initiative
3. 5:08 - Emotional Maturity
4. 6:49 - Being A Gentleman
5. 8:18 - Positive Affect
Thank you sir! You’re a scholar, a gentleman and a legend her voice puts me to sleep
TYSM. Positive Affect is the correct spelling just sayin' 🤓
yup
#3 & #4 is a joke.....
I don't think #3 and #4 are a joke at all. Courtney is extremely on the ball and articulate, she knows exactly what she is taking about.
My favorite female dating behavior is when they actually want to go on a second date 😂
Lol, sounds like you didn't watch the vid.
@@mattford4736 he commented 29 minutes ago on a 30 minute video. No shit he didn’t watch it yet
Don’t blame yourself if you’ve been a lot of first dates… good chance you weren’t compatible brother, onto the next one!
She asked to comment about what behaviors men like out of women. It was a joke.
Looks like some people don't have a sense of humor. I thought this comment was hilarious.
I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, but when I was dating my other half, I really appreciated that she offered to split the bill on basically every date, except where I made it clear beforehand it was on me. It was also really appealing when she suggested dates / activities too. It feels so much less one-sided that way, and it reinforced the feeling that she actively wanted to spend time with me.
This 👌🏼
If she has the means, she better offer at least sometimes or she probably has entitlement mindsets inside her that will wreak havoc later.
When she asks questions about you, and she at least waits a few questions before dropping the "what do you do for work?" She treats you with respect and not just wondering what resources you have.
when "so, what do you do?" is the first question they're a money grubber with a sense of entitlement, expecting you to provide them a lavish lifestyle
Some go even further than that…right there in their bios, they say they want to be spoiled or some other comment that eludes to “you’d be lucky to date this so you better spend money on me”…
@@TomChenLife Men should run from them!
@@ErikMooren lol, ofc
I personally think the question, what do you do for work is fine by me? What would turn me off on the first date is asking, how much money do you make? But asking about someone's career for me is great and keeps the conversation going. And even if your current job sucks, this allows you to want to think ahead 5 years from now on what you plan on doing to change your current situation to better yourself on your career goals. 😅
Like for me, even with a college education I was working full time in a warehouse for almost 5 years. But I ended up switching into tech. When dating I will definitely use this as my go to conversation to show confidence about myself that if I work hard enough I can overcome obstacles lol.
A number of things: Asking me out before I ask her. Refusing to let me pay for them, and at least saying thank you when I insist. Being considerate, and polite. A good listener, and asks questions about me. But the big one is having a great sense of humour where the two of us are constantly laughing and having a good time throughout the time we have together.
Courtney you could not be more spot on. I am 65 and married 40 years “to the same woman”. Hearing the points was a great refresher for me. My experience is the best true to your self enjoy dating and and meeting people and I guarantee you when he or she comes along you will feel it and you will know it. It may sound old fashioned but finding a mate is as old as time and no need to be reinvented. Life is hard commit and don’t quit.
I've always been a believer that not rushing things can make for a great time in dating. Instead of trying to escalate things too fast to achieve a goal, controlling the pace might even make the woman more inclined to take some initiative on her end to show interest.
And if you wanna make sure you have one that is good, and has real interest and isn’t just chasing an emotion…. You let her prove she is worth your time and commitment.
Emotional Maturity is really big for me. A woman that’s emotionally mature is super attractive to me, it’s a big green flag.
agree, and super-rare, in most people in modern culture who are emotional infants
I'm largely demisexual (also sapiosexual)- looks matter to me the least as long as you are healthy+have good hygiene
I've experienced growing a physical attraction to someone after finding them emotionally mature
and reversely, thought someone was good looking to start but then I couldn't find them physically attractive at all after their emotional immaturity was seen
I find an emotional mature woman to be a lot more impressive. I’m talking bout somebody that got their head on straight, don’t play games, and they treat you like any other person. Women like that are rare in our society.
Good luck finding one. The ones I was with over the course of 25 years certainly weren't.
this is all so true Courtney! I am applying all these principles in my new relationship, but what I find the most important is the #1. It's crucial to really taking the time to get to know each other , being able to ask the right questions and figuring out if there's alignment and compatibility.
It's not only about He auditioning for Her, but the man needs to be in a position of knowing what he wants and what he is looking for, and not just letting anybody in just out of scarcity mindset. This is one of the best videos you've made yet, pure golden information here.!
Thanks so much for taking the time to putting this together.
1. Men are fast paced, taking things slow with a woman shows them that you can slow down and they're worth your time. Women don't want to fight for your attention.
2. Women like confidence, be the one that sets up dates. If chores need to be done, do them without having to be asked.
3. Manage your emotions. Be aware of what emotion you're putting out. Do you get super happy, sad, angry, etc. Being level headed at the right times and vulnerable at different ones
4. Being kind, courteous, and overall a gentleman. Considerate
5. Be positive, don't be negative all the time
If she makes you work for her attention then you gotta make her work for your commitment
Never be vulnerable in front of women. Most of them instantly lose respect.
You never want a woman to pity you, believe me.
To take out your gentleman self you need a lady. Good luck with that one with modern women.
Women want to have to fight for your attention. Anything that's given easily is seen as less valuable. Any moderately attractive woman gets attention thrown at her from hundreds of guys, the one she wants is always the one she has to earn.
@@Kashban lot of men confuse vulnerability with being a pussy. If you be a pussy about your hardships ya they lose respect for you. You can be vulnerable with your masculinity attatched. The difference is vulnerability with a "but I will and always have triumphed over it" attitude, vs "woe is me my I'm a victim".
So...just be perfect. And then the women can say or act any way she wants, if anything goes awry, then its obviously the guys fault. Simple! Why didnt I think of that?
I appreciate a woman who shows curiosity about anything she observes or experiences. Leads to more interesting conversations
You need a cute, nerdy woman with mild Autism......... you've described her to a tea.
As a guy who always takes things slow, I noticed that less and less women are willing to the same. It used to be the rule that men dived into relationships and they wanted things to happen fast, while women wanted more time. But now I feel like people in general are less and less patient, they want either for things to work out really fast, or move on to other things.
It is true, but you don't want that for yourself.
I know that's the game 80% people play, but you'll either manage to tune down someone at your own pace and that's a very good sign, or just meet someone within the same frequency.
Overall I actually think it is normal that the pace is a bit unbalanced at first. The extremes are not worth it at all.
I want to hookup with him so bad
He takes me on romantic dates 😭😭😭😭
- If a woman attempts to pay on some dates that is highly appreciated and saying thank you when I insist, shows that you are not the wallet in a relationship
- If she is taking the positive perspective of a situation ( instead of testing with negative comment )
- If she is supportive and understanding
- Being able to communicate effectively
Things that make women attractive I date, in no particular order:
1. They actively take part in the conversation, including asking _me_ questions now and then.
2. They genuinely laugh in response to something genuinely funny.
3. They sometimes take the lead in suggesting date ideas and planning them.
4. They sometimes smile when looking at me. (Even better, they sometimes laugh with their eyes.)
5. They don't mind if I _sometimes_ forget or fumble gentlemanly things, like opening doors.
6. They have a positive outlook more often than negative. (Everyone has negative outlooks now and then, and it's a partner's duty to provide support in those cases.)
7. They sometimes initiate physical contact (other than a platonic hug), most likely after I've first done it, maybe two or three dates into the relationship.
8. They have more money than me. (Just kidding.)
9. They take pride in their appearance, and dress appropriately for the occasion. (Casual clothes for casual activities, etc.) They don't have to have the body of an athlete.
10. They realize we're equals in the relationship.
11. They fight fair when an argument erupts. (Shades of my marriage...)
12. They accept my reasonable shortcomings. (And obviously reject any that might be unreasonable.)
I could probably write a hundred of these.
6:30 on a first date when I cried when the girl asked why I visited the hospital (it was a bad time), she said that my crying was comforting knowing I wasn’t an emotionaless brick. Fucked on the first date too. Moved to fast and was too vulnerable. Woopsies
You uploaded a video like this just in time. I have a Hinge date on Sunday and I’ll definitely be sure to give it a watch after work today. 😁 Thank you so much for your advice, Courtney!
"Taking things slow" isn't attractive to all women. I'm an old school man myself, who naturally treats women with respect; so I don't anticipate sex early into dating someone. So, imagine my surprise when I called my lady friend at the time to setup our third date, when she boldly asked "Will sex be included this time?".
As for dating turn offs: one of the biggest for me, is when on a date a woman behaves like she's a prize to be won, appearing disengaged, preoccupied, distracted, or like I'm supposed to "entertain" her somehow.
Agreed. Women in todays dating world act like there are a prize to be won and I hate that. I feel like dating changed after Covid. Was in 2 long term relationships beforehand, but the gals I go on dates with now act and treat men as disposable commodities. At least recently.
Literally went on a date with a gal a few months ago who literally took a voluntary work call at 8 pm while at dinner. It seriously pissed me off because it showed she could give fuck all about me. If a guy did this to a gal she would leave and honestly, I should’ve. She was telling me to shush and all.
Another one was still hung up on her ex and was like bragging about him and I asked her why she was on a date with me if she felt this way. She got quiet and said they wanted different things but turns out she was cheating on him 🙃
I lost my GF of 6months few weeks ago and since then I felt like I was "not enough" for her or for anybody. Watching this video now, knowing that I'm gentleman, I move her to the side of the road to protect her, I was taking things slow and really trying my best to be the best partner makes me smile again. I KNOW IM ENOUGH and I will be good partner for next lady who will appreciate my worth. Thank you Courtney
The more I watch your videos, the more I see reasons why my wife tells me how much she appreciates me. I know myself worth but it feels good to know you're on the right track while there's always room for growth. I'm thankful for who I am and i was raised.
Important things: 1:40 First thing - Taking thing slowly; 3:36 Second thing - Taking initiative; 5:06 Third thing - Emotional maturity; 6:49 Fourth thing - Being a gentleman; 8:17 Fifth thing - Positive affect; 9:10 Agree with that told moral as well; 10:15 Total respect for that told Courtney - generally positive so true; 11:15 The way of reaction in either head or heart is one very important thing, and that is very well said; and 11:27 to summarize all the told things as well.
Since you asked what do I find attractive I can say that some of the things that men has to be, that can be also used for women as well. What I mean is:
1. Just like you have told that what men have in either head and in heart as well, that can be also applied to women as well. Meaning that she showing this positive vibes, she is relaxed, and enjoying as well;
2. Emotional maturity is also here as well what I prefer as well there, just like it's told with men as well;
3. The positive affect that women give as well.
4. Being kind, having a good sense of humor as well.
To understand one thing: I like when women are gorgeous, and beautiful, but if the things that I have mentioned aren't here, then we don't have to discuss about the crucial things as well.
I can also say this thing as well. If we are going generally to speak what is the best behavior of men, that would be one thing. And that is being a gentleman.
I will always be a gentleman, no matter what will happen, and what occasion are there as well. Why? Because that's who am I.
I can understand that building a lasting bond with a potential partner takes time, but for the most part, two people can determine whether there is chemistry between them fairly quickly. It shouldn't take more than the first date to gauge whether there is something worth pursuing, but I suppose figuring out whether you both share the same values can also take time, and that's what ultimately holds a couple together over the long-term, not just that initial spark.
I appreciate what you're doing. You do actually seem to care, and you aren't playing on your looks, rather your all aroundedness
Courtney, you are wise beyond your years . Another insightful and informative video, thanks for putting in the time to help us shlubs out🎉😂😊
It's always great to get a notification from Courtney. Your video are great to listen to during my morning workout. 💪
@8:17 "positive effect" is a term no-one users, aside from verbose academics, apparently. What you mean is, "being fun to be around", or "being mostly in a good mood" and "not bringing work home with you". For guys, they might want to put this under "frame control" and handling yourself/themselves. It would also help if you do things like say "I'm not in a great mood right now, but it's not you" or even "it's ok" and manage the conversation.
First date tonight since my breakup 6 months ago. Thanks for the advice Courtney. I got this !
When used as a word to mean “emotional disposition” the word “affect” is pronounced with emphasis on the first syllable: AFF ect, instead of the usual aff ECT.
My favorite is effort and enthusiasm.
I am a firm believer in pacing the dating process, not rushing it! This takes so much pressure and stress off! That's why speed dating doesn't work and isn't practical...my opinion
For women, I like that they're able to relax, banter, and be supportive. They're not them boss babes, nor will they run at first sign of conflict
I really appreciate your tips and advices, I've watched UA-cam channels in my native language and i can say that it's same behaviors showing confidence and positive mindset greetings from Colombia.
My favorite female dating behavior is when they show up on time. If she expects me to ask, plan and pay for the date, she can at least be timely. My dates are so consistently late that I make the reservation 15 minutes later than I tell her.
smh females bruh…
You're very kind in saying that he was average because when I see a gorgeous girl suddenly act very negative, her physical appearance suddenly starts to look unattractive to me. An average girl with a lot of positivity suddenly has a more attractive physical appearance.
I have enjoyed every date I have been on even if there wasn't a second one. Always nice to meet someone new.
Thank you for the cereal. I'm a person that has to avoid wheat. I hope I can find this in Toronto🇨🇦
thank you Courtney, the positive effect section of the video is something that i needed to hear a long time ago to reflect in my negative way of thinking, also the way you describe it is so accurate that is like a vampire vibes, that's exactly how it feels, it makes me so tired to think so negatively often
Magic Spoon is a legit cereal! I’ve been eating it for a year now. It is pricey though, but it keeps my diet going, at least mentally. I eat mostly chicken and rice 3 times a day for 3 years now. Yeah it’s basic bland food lol. Hot sauce is a must!!!
As always, thank you for your insight. You’re very knowledgeable and helpful in this subjects ❤
I love when a girl is direct when talking to you, not dancing around the bush. I also love when they get you small things (i.e. they wake up before you and bought you an iced coffee)
What I find attractive about a woman are, sweet, supportive, understanding, great with kids, a good girlfriend, good wife, and good mother, and a sense of humor.
You and every other man on the planet.
Just an fyi, the word "affect" in the quote you read from, the standard pronunciation isn't like "effect" (how you did it). The initial 'a' sound is like the 'a' in 'cat' or 'hat'. And the emphasis is on the first syllable, so it's "A-ffect" not "Af-FECT".
Same rule apples for "affective", it's more like 'A-ffective' rather than 'a-FFECT-ive'
Promise I'm not trying to be a jerk, just offering you a heads up. Really appreciate your content.
Was just coming in here to say that. AFF-ect, not aff-ECT. It's not being a jerk to politely let someone know something like that.
Favorite dating behavior: When she has a great attitude towards whoever is serving and asks great questions. 🎯🎯💯
I we've found another confliction. We are to be kind and confident, strong and protective, but at the right moment...vulnerable. I'm not disagreeing, I can see it working in my mind, but not in reality. I appreciate that you say you must know someone some before you show you vulnerabilities, I agree, but there's more than that too. I would caution against using 'vulnerabilities" as any sort of a 'hook'.
IMO, the 'when' you reveal the deep vulnerabilities matters a lot also. Example: NEVER when leading up to sex. Do it during pillow talk after sex, when the oxytocin is making it's presents known, it will have much more chance of a positive impact. Before sex is NOT the time for a man to show any weakness, particularly for a new love. That is me Tarzan, you Jane time. Time to lead, let the tiger out.
Being confident, being decisive and courtship is attractive.
They hear vulnerability, and they hear weakness But a natural vulnerability is something you open up and share with someone who you equally love respect and trust if you cannot be vulnerable with someone especially in your private moments, then you may want to evaluate yourself and why Vulnerability is a weight and a responsibility Not just of yourself, but of the person you’re with to know how much and how often and if it’s something you can share, and it also shows trust and responsibility of your partner with that vulnerability and some vulnerabilities can only be known in time because they can only be shared with time and understanding and love sometimes to understand the vulnerability you have to walk with somebody it’s not something you can just tell. walking with the one you love can bring more understanding than just hearing it as reading a book that takes growing with them and commitment on both sides, striving towards your goal of being together
Gooood Morning Courtney!! 💪🏾🙏🏾👏🏽🔥 keep it up!
literally me, taking things slow is a necessity for me but most everyone I have experienced seems to want to quickly jump in.. of which I have zero interest. stress as you stated.
I can attest to being positive.
I went to a Tsngo dance last Saturday For the first two hours I was in a good mood, dancing 10-11 Tandas in a row (2-4 song sets), with only a song or two break. I was approached by many people to chat when I was not dancing.
Then my body hit that wall....I wore myself out, with my body not willing to dance. I must of looked it too, because no one approached me to chat. I was the wall trim to the door I was near to.
Appreciation of the things we do that are attractive are some of the most attractive things a woman can do. And being positive. Light. And reciprocal. As I said, appreciation is good and counts as reciprocation IMO, but other ways are great too.
Very thankful for your advice!
although i truly love watching your video/s hearing your perspective talking about different traits
and taking care of yourself what not learning all these new tips and tricks
a suggestion i would recommend would be anytime you're talking about a certain "toPIC" such as humour
right beside it you can incorporate a photo of a celebrity who has that reputation doing that trait
for example Eminem he called himself that because his real name is Marshall Mathers as in M & M or Jim Carrey
not only is humour subjective everyone has different levels to it and taste after all
some enjoy puns like myself while others might love culture jokes
I hope everyone is haveing a nice day and wish everyone a nice weekend
Im taking things super slow in dating behavior as I need to get a date first
It's not something I've actually seen on a date, sadly, but one trait I find profoundly attractive is sensitivity: if she can really pick up on how you're feeling, and has the tact to address it properly, it's an ENORMOUS plus.
We call ALL do better!😊
showing vulnerability is a process and is phased, and the best way I've found to just start that is with humility. Share a story where you derp'd on something, learned a simple lesson and laughed it off later. There, you just exhibited a smidge of vulnerability.
lol She throws in the little dance while eating the cereal. Very cute.
You something is good when it makes you dance!!!
The worst part of this was the cereal. If i eat cereal, i want it packed with sugar so the milk tastes better at the end. Fruity pebbles ftw. Oh yeah, good video👍
Thank god i live over seas and have as many women has i want im always smiling Ryan 😎
1. Taking Things Slow -
Okay so taking slow I agree with that’s what I did when I entered my first relationship with a real girl I’ve been with for 6 years soon as of this August coming up.
2. Taking Initiative -
Yeah I have took initiative in the past by just showing her on what I can get done with or without help in leadership skills, and I can make good decisions about what I want in a relationship but I do see her a lot more but on the other hand we do see each other but as long as I have the time too see her but my schedule has to match up with her mom’s schedule so if she wanted to get me her mom for example because her mom would be my ride I’d coordinate to find out if she’s available after I am done with school but if not then I would ask my driver if he could take me down to girlfriend’s house and if not then I’m kinda screwed because that’s my only ride because I cannot do Uber or Lyft because they charge a lot of money and usually they charge by the mile so I wouldn’t think it be a an option so I would have to go home I know that sucks but sometimes my girlfriend has availability and I do too but maybe her doesn’t, so I know it’s a major pain in the ass sometimes for us to be far like we don’t live in the same area we are about 30-45 min away I know that’s nothing and I do wish I could go down but it really depends on her schedule and her mom’s schedule too. So it’s like a waiting game when I have to wait but when it comes to dates or doing something special and if I have money I will make sure to appreciate her and so I will take the initiative to buy her favorite chocolate and a orchid or flowers.
3. Emotional Maturity -
Yeah so Emotional Maturity I do my best to be that way I’d say I’m on the opposite end instead of getting upset I just think about okay I’m mad but I’m not gonna take it out on my girlfriend I do my best too talk it out like a normal person but with her it’s the opposite, but she’s working on it.
4. Being a Gentleman -
I usually am a gentleman I always make sure to be respectful and honest and kindness and to be patient and to be a great listener and I always do my best to hold the door for people but also including women that way I know gentleman etiquette stays sharp.
5. Positive Effects - Yes I do my best to have a positive effect and all that and more.
Advice please. 🙏
I've hired a number of contractors, but recently hired one that I have a serious crush on. I can't tell if he feels the same. Is he flirting with me or just being friendly?!? 🤔
At night 🌙 he sends me pics 📷 of his dog 🐕, chats & jokes 🤣 with me & just recently he wanted to introduce me to his son 👦,
who was in town from his home 🏡& work [2,000 miles away].
Is he flirting or just being friendly?!? 🤔
this sweater really gets with your minimal but pretty vibe
Ngl there are a LOT of women who are killing chivalry. I've had grimaces doing gentlemanly things, not only that but my ex for example once had a go at me for letting her go through a door first and was like "I don't like that. I hate going first, you should lead". Men these days just get mixed signals and it's hard to tell how the women we're dating are going to react to it. It's confusing.
I feel sorry for the women who do like gentlemen as the bitter women who bitch about it are ruining it for them. You hear a lot of women these days complaining there are no gentlemen left anymore and it's their own fault, let's be honest.
I agree with all of these. Thank you!
Wish I could come up with something to say about this, but I don't just absorbing as much information as possible without overthinking it, in which I'm trying not do as much.
Love when women are honest.
The best of the best! The reason I do not go to your telegram is that this does it for me! I wish I had enough time for both! Much better than Corry Wayne's that I used to watch! This is what I want for a proper relationship!
11:10 yes please, Courtney, show us; it’d be interesting and educational to hear the guy and also your reaction!
Anger is a Justified response to an obvious Injustice, and being able to calm yourself down and remain focused is emotional maturity, for this example
A nice analogy I once heard about taking things slow is "Dating is like driving a car, you have to know when to press the brake so that you don't make a wrong turn, or worse, crash!"
I find it attractive when a woman puts chapter partitions in her videos. 😁
So if I were to make a quick list of the most prominent behaviors that women do that I personally find attractive or compelling in a relationship, it would go something like this:
1. Communicate your wants, needs and preferences in a constructive and respectful manor
2. Show understanding and appreciation (empathy) to me, yourself, your "community", etc. (To me, this is what respect looks like in action). This DOES NOT mean be a doormat
3. Contribute to intelligent conversations, especially if it requires confidence/vulnerability
4. Don't be wealth/object obsessed and show a sense of responsibility around money. Its fine to have things you like and to spend money but it can't be your personality. I want a woman who primarily focuses on PEOPLE and not THINGS.
5. Don't be an a*****e. frequent narcissistic behavior, sexist behavior (which is disturbingly common), or abusive behavior... honestly if you're not sure what "don't be an a*****e" means (within the context of your own gender or generally), maybe google it and/or talk to a professional about that
6. Be able to define and maintain your own boundaries and respect those of others. big and small.
7. A bonus one (ok fine 6 was a bonus too): have defined goals that you're working towards in all or most facets of your life. These do NOT have to be major goals. It shows me you have an eye to the future and you want to work to make things better which is a KEY component of a healthy long term relationship (two people working towards a better future together while showing appreciation for where they are and what they have now).
Eg: I don't care if you are currently overweight so long as you have a plan and you're working on it. but if your stance is: meh f it, people should just accept me for who I am and I have no intention of changing behavior. ok well, if you want to be my partner, obesity has a TON of very negative long term health consequences that you are now asking me, as your partner, to deal with... no thank you. Another example is hyper negativity or sulking, refusing to go to counseling/therapy or work on it, I should just deal with your depression while you do nothing to deal with the underlying issues? no thank you. you're constantly in debt but you refuse to budget or do any financial planning and you think it should just be someone else's job to come in and shower you with gold? no thank you.
I'm looking for a partner, not a dependent.
This list is definitely not exhaustive but its a great start, imo
When she actually responds and seems interested in me. The opposite seems more common
Happy Friday Courtney lookin classy and elegant in that thumbnail 🌹🌹
Beyond leadership that she is looking for, she is also looking for strong self esteem, and if he is secure in his sexuality. Because in these skills he will find it easier to be a co-creator with her in the direction of the relationship. Without this skill he is the head of the house, and the relationship; she only follows.
When putting in effort, we often only see what it is that we value, and blind to everything else. An emotionally mature couple will be mindful of the strengths and attributes that we each hold, that keeps the relationship securely in a co-creative balance. "That" skill that grants us the ability to navigate emotions effectively.
Mature vulnerability comes with personal improvement. It's not something we're born with.
Maturity in general comes with personal improvement for both men and women. A mature man is continuously expanding his emotional skills. So he has no "staying power" with an immature woman, or one that can't keep up.
March on, brave one.
Best opener or ice breaker when ya haven't seen her in a while(10+ days) AFTER previously seeing each other on the daily and doin the eye dance consistently but never spoke to each other before?
I generally agree with the point about being positive vs always being negative, but I think a very important point has to be brought up. For aguy who has had a rough go of dating (a good deal of it is my fault when self-reflecting on it, so I am not denying that), and has become a little cynical about dating, i want to ask can we really blame that mindset about dating when that is all you have ever experienced? As a guy you are damned if you do/damned if you don't. You have these feelings that you cannot share. If you do share, you are seen as unattractive, thereby fulfilling the self-fulfilling prophecy and starting the cycle anew, but if you do not share you also become more jaded because you wallow in your own miserable thoughts. What is a guy supposed to do in those cases? I am not saying you shouldn't try and be better, but its not as easy as just be happier lol (not saying that is her point). Just something I have been thinking about.
Even if the reasons behind being negative is understandable, it is still not fun being with someone like that. You have to face the facts, even if you think it's normal for you to not be positive, it is still not fun having someone always negative in a social group. You can't ask for pity cause you have a good reason for spreading negativity, people will just go somewhere else where someone is actually able to go through tough times and still be someone fun to be around.
Thumbs up Courtney Ryan 👍 really enjoy your videos
You could take things slow but if a girl likes you, she could move fast!
0:20 - 0:23
I like when a woman skips the $3 cheese on a burger. It shows she is financially responsible.
Lovely voice and useful advice.
Hi Courtney, thank you for another great video. I was hoping you could do a video about what you think about this new "incel" culture: "young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active".
Teddy must be one hell of a guy!! He’s an inspiration
1 women who offer to split the bill 2 women who take an interest in menś hobbies 3 women with a good sense of humour
Thanks for the videos! I'm going on my first date in 4 years after splitting with fiancé. Wish me luck, the gal I'm meeting up with is 14 year younger than me, so im a bit nervous. 😂
#1 money
#2 money
#3 money
#4 money
#5 lots of money 💰
Facts
Point number one only works if you’re in a fully committed relationship.
Very good video.
Also, is it okay if you take initiative only some of the time? Can't have the answers all of the time. Or should I just fake it?
Why are there so many "rules", or boxes we must check off? Or it seems men HAVE TO BE PERFECT in order to even be considered as a possible date (unless he's "hot" or "cute" than he could be Ted Bundy or Charles Manson but that would be irrelevant because "He's hot/cute".)
Whatever happened to "Nobody's PERFECT"; and just accepting a few flaws, or even minor quirks? Especially considering I doubt that whoever the woman may be isn't without a few of her own which she EXPECTS - snd probably even DEMANDS - any man she dates to accept.
Keep in mind that a lot of men here suffer from low self esteem and need to be shown the obvious.
And thus, the reason why the general dating scene in the US is a disaster, and why almost nobody looks for a partner there. We're better off trying our luck elsewhere 'cause I'm sure many places have women that are not ridiculously demanding like we see here, and fewer boxes to check off
@michaelrespicio5683 Whatever happened to letting nature take it's course; or just letting things happen and see how things turn out? Going with the flow, having a good/fun time together with no pressure to meet some preconceived expectations or demands.
Especially when the one's expecting these high standards usually aren't of the highest qualities, or standards themselves. (aka Who/What makes them God's gift to Men/Women to expect or worse ' DEMAND "perfection" in a partner; or even just a date.
@@jasonhurst8599 How did all this nonsense happen? Social media.
I hate when you first meet a woman or go out with a woman and they spend a bunch of time talking about an ex or multiple exes.
The only positive part is it let’s me know you’re not over them yet and I need not waste my time.
Things I find attractive with being good looking:
-if she's a good girl. Very attractive.
-makes me feel wanted. (My love language is verbal).
Ill tell why i gave up/stopped trying (2017) I dont lie or cheat. I found out that there is no place in the dating market for people like that
top woman traits:
1.) confidence in self! - no makeup(including lipstick), hair dye, polished nails, plucked eyebrows, etc. - be comfortable in your own body and appearance, the insecurity denoted by all of these things is a HUGE turnoff
2.) communication - be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings - again, insecurity is a huge turnoff, if you can't express yourself or share what you think and feel about something without fear of being judged, it's a problem
3.) interest in my thoughts and feelings - I get asked so many details about the surface things in my life, not about who I am as a person, what I think and feel about meaningful issues, aspects of life, existence - if you care about how much money I have over how much growth and healing I've done in life: shallow and a turn off
4.) sensuality - comfortable with physical intimacy and the ability to know what you like, want, need in seexual compatibility - so many people afraid to talk about these things because of the unhealthy immature society/culture around seex, but being able to talk maturely and figure out if there is compatibility BEFORE engaging in physical intimacy is essential: I am a man who loves love-making for 3-6 hours at a time with extreme tactile sensual romantic ecstatic deep sharing - spirit&body are intrinsically bound and the connection and compatibility must be there for a healthy relationship (or if it doesn't matter to you at all, you need to be able to be upfront with that - plenty of guys out there who don't like it as much as society brainwashes people into thinking)
5.) vulnerability - again, insecurity in who you are is a huge turn off, if you can't allow your guard to be down, admit the truth about your personality, and engage through courage instead of fear, no thanks
how is plucked eyebrows insecurity? Hell as a man I pluck a few stray eyebrows myself. Just a little bit of personal hygiene and grooming
I usually find beauty products a turn-off unless there are health benefits involved. We shouldn't be afraid to show off our real selves, as loving oneself needs to happen before we can love others.
@@grahamdamberger7130 I call them 'vanity' products and consider 'natural' to be beautiful, in all its variety, but aesthetic appeal is something that is personalized, and
compatibility goes far beyond looks we know, it is about energistic connection, you don't deny the physical appeals, but don't be shallow or overly dependent/focused on them
and yes, if you don't love yourself, you shouldn't be seeking a relationship, which honestly
I think 95% of people aren't developed enough emotionally for a serious intimate relationship, and should be more focused on simply connecting with fellow-minded+hearted humans they can get along with. too much disconnect in this world and focus on 'a partner' instead of community, family, neighbors
@@mjkittredge that has NOTHING to do with hygiene or grooming, everything to do with vanity
insecurity extreme if you feel compelled to pluck eyebrows, if you can't understand that, you are deeeeep into your insecurity
@@zerpblerd5966 people taking care of themselves isn't vanity. I have crazy eyebrow hairs that will curve downards towards my eyes or become curly and they're just a nuisance. having a neat orderly appearance is part of grooming.
You're really deep into this pet theory of yours.
I like when women offer to pay her half of the date. I like when they convey wholesome, simple, and inexpensive interests. For example, fixing meals at home over eating out, saving for a house over spending every last dollar on making payments on a fancy car. Drinking milk, tea, or flavored water over expensive, intoxicative alcohol or expensive Starbucks' drinks.
Courtney so smart.
I had a friend his name is Courtney Hebert.
We was close.
3 off the top of my head that make women attractive (to me):
1.) They let me lead without being combative
2.) They laugh at goofiness and can have fun with it
3.) They can hold a quality conversation
I don't know why but I get intensely turned off by girls who pose with alcohol in their dating app pictures or put "Wine" as their hobby. First thing that jumps to my mind is "You mean to say that you have so little personality that you have to substitute it with booze"
Personally I don't have an issue with people who drink alcohol, I've tried it but just dislike the taste of it.
Thank you for the advice and no red pill bullshit
Courtney, could you speak about how cringe and insecure it is that so many men (and some women) assume you're exclusive just because you had a great date or two and hooked up? I mean, there's a spark of connection (great!) but so many guys violate "Taking things slow" by conflating sex with relationship exclusivity and immediately become possessive and insecure douchebags. Unfortunately, this results in stalking and even more serious criminal acts. It's this sort of behaviour that ruins it for the rest of us guys that know our self worth due to our daily efforts at self improvement and know a fun time is just that - and that there are plenty more options that will work in the right time and place.
Do you have a production crew or you make these videos mostly yourself? Some UA-camrs are willing to share what kind of equipment they use. Would you be open to sharing that?