Omgod! Waiting mode!! I can't tell you how validating it is to have this horrible feeling named and to know that other who have ADHD have this same feeling and understand this. And then when you were saying that when you were in that debilitating waiting mode you started 12 things but then just couldn't grasp any of them and then it felt like in your head it was like" eh, meh, ieeaarrkligolkuoplouurreessjjiil". You have no idea how that both cracked me up and made me tear up at the same time, all because I could relate 1000%.
I found your channel yesterday and subbed almost straight away. I like how informal, and unpolished (charming rather than unprofessional!) your videos are. You're fun, and engaging. And as a fellow UK person, I find the conversational delivery a bit more relatable than some of the US UA-camrs (as helpful as they can be). Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. I'm 50, and still waiting for my assessment, but each new thing I learn about ADHD further obliterates any doubts that I've had it all my life. Wishing you lots of success with your channel, and wanted to drop by with a bit of dopamine / encouragement.
haha I might change my channel tagline to 'charming rather than unprofessional' Thanks so much for saying this💛 I read this comment on my way to work earlier this week and it gave me such a boost! Yay to the dopamine!
It’s interesting what you said about losing that sense of delighted wonder at the world around you. I’ve just been diagnosed at 52 and have only been on Adderall for a week starting at 5 mg and working up gradually so it’s still very early days for me but of the wonderful things has been getting the sense of wonder back. My head is les cluttered so there is more room for me to notice things more. I went to bed a couple of nights ago and I felt happy and content which, I only then realised, I haven’t felt for a loooonng time. We’ll see how it goes but it’s nice to actually feel more like myself again. I’m also post menopausal so I’m assuming the complete lack of oestregen has something to do with that too.
So interesting! Thanks for sharing - it just goes to show how different it is for different people and the most important thing is finding what's right for you. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling content 🥰
@@worldbeing8305 thanks for asking. I’m on 60 mg of Vyvanse now with a 15-20 mg Adderall top up in the afternoon if I have something later in the evening that I need focus for. So far so good! Only side effects are a bit of dry mouth and a slightly elevated heart rate as the Adderall kicks in and when it clicks off. I only use the Adderall once or twice a week. The ever present low grade depression has gone, I’m getting to know how this beautiful brain of mine works and I’m loving the journey. It’s like I’m finally getting to know me as I learn the skills to go along with the pills.
I am so glad to have found your comment here! I’m 50 and recently diagnosed, been on Ritalin for two weeks. The first few days I felt like a slow motion zombie but thankfully that passed. I had a similar experience as you, the beauty of my brain being calm enough has allowed me to see everything with a different perspective. I am able to take things in and enjoy them fully with all my senses. When I complete something I feel accomplished rather than it just being a weight lifted off my shoulders only to have the next thing take its place. My anxiety, panic attacks, and depression are much lighter and I can deal with them with a clear head that isn’t cycling through one horrible thought after another. The nice thing is how subtle it is, I have to catch myself behaving differently. Much of what I had to deal with is still there, it’s just more manageable. I want to have to flex my mental muscles and see this as a good thing. I hope that this has staying power and I don’t get resistant. I would love to hear more about your experience as a fellow post menopausal woman that’s a bit ahead of me in all this! So much of what you said aligns with myself. Hope you’re doing great 3 months on from your update! 😊
I bloody love your videos, you're helping me so much on my own ADHD journey. I was diagnosed as an adult and currently awaiting meds. You're also hilarious and a pleasure to watch ☺️ x
When you started with the IBS I was convinced that we are the same person. And the PMDD. I’ve been on continuous BC so that my hormones never fluctuate. Those two weeks are horrible but you are totally right! It’s the hormone interaction with ADHD. I’m trying to resist the urge to think that everything is ADHDs fault. I’ve watched all your med updates. I just started this week. I’m going to watch your other videos, thank you for sharing its very validating.
Thanks so much for watching 💛 Yeah, the hormones are a whole beast to contend with. I'm planning to do a more detailed video about PMDD 'cause it's really resonated with a lot of people!
Thanks for this video! I was diagnosed a month ago at age 30, and it's wild how much I can relate to almost everything you say. It's like someone told you all my weird internal struggles that I have never told anyone (but medical professionals), and you just made a video about them. It's been an emotional month, realizing I'm not alone with this. I always felt so weird, and no one could understand me. I just came to the conclusion that everyone probably had the same struggles, but I was just lazy or stupid, etc.
I love your channel and the energy you bring to each topic! Thanks for the creative descriptions of the small details and mini struggles - super comforting. Also, your fairground burnout analogy from another video is brilliant.
The way you are describing the development of your medication journey, is beautiful. Also, the lantern view vs spotlight view is so clicking with me right now. I have just radically changed my schedule, and for the first time in a long time I have given myself the space to enjoy my own "lantern view" which my partner affectionately calls my "g vision". It had been so long since I gave myself space to see in that way, that it was quite emotional! So needless to say I was tearing up a little at your explanations here ❤ I look forward to seeing more of your journey, and thank you for letting us peek behind the curtain!
Second comment needed - I really like the way you talk, present all the points, seeming very authentic, leave in a lot of chatty parts someone else might have cut and that entertain me a lot! ❤
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been trying to find reviews that felt authentic and honest about the personal journey with ADHD and meds annd not just a generic list of pros and cons or sciencey video about how different drugs work. Your personality is brilliant and I watched your video the whole way through without getting distracted - which is a real feat haha. I’ve honestly never watched a video more relatable or helpful and I feel very resonant in hearing you talk about your symptoms. When you’re ready to share about rejection sensitivity we will be here to affirm and grow along with you. Thank you again for your video and I’m looking forward to connecting more. You’re a real one!
I am now 42, but was diagnosed last fall at age 41. I've always struggled with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Depression, horrible PMDD and IBS. Also, after getting out of an extremely abusive marriage, I now deal with PTSD. But once I received the ADHD diagnosis, years of my life began to make sense. As a Mama of five with my two youngest being toddlers, I've been afraid to begin the medication due to possible side effects. Especially since I have two littles to care for. I've had Concerta 18mg sitting here for over a month. I'm really struggling and I know things need to change. I guess I need to really suck it up and try the medication! My kids deserve the best of me, not this. Thank you for sharing your journey ❤
I just wanted to validate that it's ok you've been waiting for the right time to try the medication; for me there's been a bit of trial and error and the shifts in both physical side effects and mood over time are not always easy to handle. (Though both should get easier after the body adjusts for a couple weeks to a new med, especially if you drink extra water and eat regularly!) I don't have kids so I can only imagine that going on this self-discovery process while also having to be "on" for your little ones isn't simple. If I could encourage you to do one thing it would be to set up support so you can take some amount of time to yourself to process your experiences soon after starting any meds, whether it's a day to rest or five minutes of journaling before bed, because you're the only one who can really determine what the best version of yourself looks like. However you proceed, I believe in you
This video is Soo nice to watch! I love how raw and honest it is! Thank you 😊 I agree that those who understand you will and the rest don't matter (just accepting our human limits) Can't wait for the update on the different new dosages
Thank you for this. Been watching this and other videos on ADHD to try and gain insight for my young non-verbal son, and I've found it so illuminating. Also, so very well structured. I can see why you looked into teaching. Maybe mentorship is more your thing? Anywho. Thanks very much for sharing all the detail that you have. Feeling sparky or no, you're creating a lot of meaningful sparks and ripple effects for us here in the community. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you for this video. It is so relatable. I've just been diagnosed and will be trying meds soon. I have IBS and bad PMS (likely PMDD) so I'm trying to gather info from as many sources as possible. So glad to hear your pharmacist just 'got it'. Doesn't always happen, so she is quality. Please keep posting, you are very engaging to watch! Take care.
I love your sounds haha, also thank you for explaining what its like having adhd in a way I didn't have words for! I am 35 recently started meds, omg it feels a light has turned on in a part of my brain I didnt know existed. So many less noise and intrusive distracting thoughts
Love your identification of the 'waiting' concept! Can relate so much. Stimulant meds keeps focus on the here and now vs anxiety about the future? Also re. stimulant meds, been told should take for no longer than 5 days before taking 48 hours off. They do eventually stop working 😔 but this helps to extend their life span. And you get to enjoy the variety and benefits of the two days off as well as the days on!
Thank you for sharing, I relate. I found purpose in seeing how the world around us, was created for us, and what that implies…. While I would not go back to self medding, the delics, in micro measure, allow focused latency, a broad view, but with only one voice, for an adhd overfocused / inattentive mind. Some day we won’t need meds anymore. I believe this. ‘No one will say ‘I am sick’.
Wow Rachel, i am so happy to found your channel! I have a channel in Dutch where i discribe human experiences very much the same as you do. I really love your personality and vibe. Please continu this sorts of video's for years! Look at you be you! Be you always. Shine! 🌟
Omg you explaining the restlessness feeling in your stomach is such a personal experience!! I remember ever since I was a kid I would constantly feel that feeling when I wasn’t moving around much, like drawing etc and it would build up sooooooo much that I literally had to stop drawing even though I wanted to do it so bad because I had to move to release that gross feeling. I’d try to explain that to my mum or teachers and they thought I was just weird? Then when I got diagnosed a year ago and was explaining that exact thing EXACTLY how you were explaining it and was told ‘oh yeah that’s just restlessness, very common’ and it was such an easy questioned to be answered but no me could answer for me until a year ago
First off, I love your way of telling a story and how nuanced you are. Also the pink wobbly head in the background made me chuckle a few times and actually helped me focus on what you’re saying. Interesting you mention the restlessness. I thought I have the PI type but it was actually both. my psychiatrist was like ummm nope, you have many hyperactive symptoms but they’re not the classic ones you’d expect, referring to the racing thoughts, restlessness and impulsive decisions. Apparently women experience it differently. Even if you dont get up in the middle of a meeting because it’s inappropriate, the fact you’re restless and trying to prevent yourself from doing it means the hyperactivity is there but you’re not acting on it due to social conventions. Also regarding the “oh that tree is so beautiful” feeling, I had a different experience to you. I couldnt care less before my diagnosis, I was so tired and not present that I rarely felt excitement about anything anymore. Everything was a chore. But after meds I realised how many things I’ve missed and how beautiful it is to be present. The first few days I cried every time the meds were kicking in and I got that feeling of calm and mindfullness. Suddenly I can enjoy the little things in life again without being on a dopamine hunt. Iam only a couple of weeks in though, so I’ll definitely keep an eye on it. Becoming emotionally flat is one of my fears because I experienced it throughout my life and I hate it, but now thanks to you I know there’s a potential solution should this be a side effect of medication. I think there was smth else I wanted to mention but I forgot. Oh well🤷♀️I was gonna say I’m looking forward to see how your new meds schedule works and then I realised this video is a year old🤦♀️. I guess I’ll go look for the update 😂
This was pretty profound to hear. I notice you said that you can go to a lower dose or take a shorter dose so it wears off in the evening so you can be Sparky Rachel, and that you can do things and feel joy when you don't take the medication. How are you doing that? I take 20 mg Adderall XL, and when I don't take my meds and when they wear off, I feel so exhausted and apathetic that I can barely do anything. How do you avoid this? Thanks!
Heya! I guess this might just be a personal reaction to the meds. I generally don't notice when they wear off. When I tried the shorter acting Medikinet I did (they made me fall asleep after 2 hours), but I don't have that reaction when Concerta longer acting wears off.
maybe this is a weird irrelevant comment but those earrings sit really nicely in your ears. exactly perfect thickness etc, also the pms stuff is so true. ive taken the pill for a year, and been on various anti depressants (technically im on zoloft but didnt order new ones since may so im dying from that rn!) because the *restlessness and frustration* and feeling unhinged from pms was too much to bare. i wonder if a lot of "pmdd" is just adhd/asd (i have both) being exacerbated by the pms......... ive had really strong su*cidal thoughts every month because of this. i hope this week coming to make an appt with an adhd specialist !!!! hopefully life takes a turn after that. altho i do think i need to get my antidepressants back personally
Hello, this is the second video on the channel that I've watched and it's very helpful! Thank You! The comparison of our adhd brain to a TikTok doomscroll of random memories and thoughts that trigger feelings (which tend to be intense) is so spot on. This is such a struggle. Also, does anyne have experience with heightened anxiety when on ADHD meds while burnt out? :D Very specific, but probably relatable.
Good luck with ritalin! I switched from concerta to ritalin and I really like the control I have throughout the day. For me it was particularly important because I felt like concerta was lasting too long and messing with my sleep.
You are so much fun and super relatable. Im two weeks away from my evaluation and hoping for an answer finally. Everyday is a true struggle. Thanks for the videos! 💜
@@rachdoesyoutube I wish. Turns out I waited 6 months for this appointment that was to evaluate me to submit to my insurance for approval to be tested. I'm crushed. More waiting.. So tired..
Oh Rachel, it didn´t feel boring not one second. It´s felt like the most joyful and accurate depiction i´ve come across. You described ADHD life so so well. I just hit 30. Always struggled with mental health, always blended in (sort of) due to being hyperintelligent, and I felt like life my whole life has just been a huge ride to tackle two things. One. Understand what the fucks happens with my mind. Two. Get through the day. ADHD resonated just so much and my whole life clicked. Went right ahead for the diagnosis and i´m now on my first month of concerta 18mg. There´s this part at the end where you talk about gut, intuition, compass. There´s this funny thing that happens to me, and that my (fortunately) very loving friends know and care to be reassuring. Everyone points how well I cook and how much taste I create. When giving those sort of compliment, I feel this weird shame. Deep inside, I know It wasn´t just curiosity and wonder, it was plain desperation to get my life going. Intuitively I´ve learnt that making things interesting was the only way of making my brain work. It´s not that I ventured into the depths of youtube to be amazing and learn cool stuff. It was that or not eating. I´m a very independent man, deeply emotional, deeply thoughful, deeply loving, and in a way, everything happened because absolutely everything in life was just messy af. Like immeasurable hard and difficult to understand. Even emotions and thoughts. I´m hopeful for my treatment so that it dampens that very loud noise, but I also don´t want to lose that spark. Having a foggy mind and a broken compass all my life made me stumbled so much, yet it taught me to persevere and be spiritual. It taught this very specific way in which life feels actually good. To be so goddamn curious and to find joy in so mundane and usually forgotten things. It taught me to set things in motion, to set life in motion. These months have been a rollercoaster. Being undiagnosed and untreated for so long sure had its damage. Trying so hard to keep my shit together. Therapy and psylocibin have been great teachers. To know that I´ll be ok and that I´ve been always ok. That I was just trying to win a battle that was not for me to fight. A whole life swimming agaisnt the tide without even knowing there was even a tide. Love yourselves folks, you´ve been doing great all along
I loved what you talked about at the end of video. I’ve just been diagnosed at 45, I’ve actually come to terms on my own about how I am and found loads of work arounds. I have done tons of stuff over the years that I have stuck to because I know they work for me (without knowing that they were actually helping to manage my ADHD). Like high protein diet, exercise, good sleep, mindfulness, self forgiveness etc. My diagnosis has explained why I am the way I know I am and has absolutely helped me forgive myself even more. I will explore meds. I don’t want to lose that connection that I do have with the bigger picture, but sometimes I’ve just got to do the laundry!
That is one of the benefits of late diagnosis. It might be painful, but we find ways to figure things out from sheer will and resourcefulness of solving the confusing riddle of life! Yes meds do take the edge off which can be a massive relief at times.
I have a similar IBS problem for I think the same reasons, and I recently started taking 2mg Imodium (loperamide) every morning (as suggested by my GI doctor) and it's made a world of difference! I just wanted to throw that out there in case you haven't already considered it. Thanks for your videos!
so funny, just this morning i was sad, that the youtube algorism kept presenting me the same persons, when i search for adhd and women and TADAAA, there you are... HAPPY, love your videos, can relate so much!!!
Rachel... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING! How is your sparky aspect of personality at this moment? I will be starting my meds soon, but Id like to keep my overpositive attitude that gets sparked by little things. I am so glad to hear someone talking about that. Hope your having an amazing weekend
IBS!!! Holy Cow!!! I have had that - not celiac - and, on meds I can eat more things. Before on the FODMAP diet, it was really hard to find menus especially eating out.
Is there anything that actually does help working memory & forgetfulness? I was hopeful that meds would help with that since I struggle every day with executive function, working memory, and forgetfulness i.e. tripping over the same pair of shoes 10x in one evening, being told a list of things to grab and not remembering more than 3 things, not noticing details, etc. It all makes me feel incredibly stupid.
I personally haven't noticed meds help with memory. I guess it reduces the amount going on in my head at once so less likely that another thought will force out what I need to remember, but not a noticeable difference. I think it's gotta be a life strategies thing.
Thank you! You inspired me so much. I can relate to that feeling when you lose sense of the world around you. I realize now, that I've been feeling that way for about 4 months. A few days ago, I took the first drug-free day. At first it felt uncomfortable to "be me" again, but at the end of the day I looked at the surrounding world and felt like it might had been something that I missed at the bottom of my heart haha. It's soothing to hear that I am not the only one who felt that way. I really like your energy, keep going :D
YOUR IBS DISAPPEARED OMFG I just started this medication today. The way you explained it makes so much sense. Send good vibes that I can eat apples and garlic again. 🤞🏻
Thank you! I was scared to try med's but im going to after my surgery tomorrow. But there hiving me a med iff label for add,my depression and motivation and fatigue syndrome. I have ibs-c and alot of chronic health conditions and hoping this medication helps with this and other things without side effects. I have tried Vyvanse but made my anxiety and panic disorder and headaches amd and harder to sleep. Have you ever heard of modifinil? They cant get my severe depression disorder under control and ive trued so many&my mental health doctor thinks it can help this.
I remember asking the whole "Why are we here?" question years ago, waaaaaay before I found out I have ADHD, which I only got diagnosed for this year. I have gone through a few emotions since finding out, but I am looking forward to starting treatment soon. I have lacked focus and holding attention for as long as I can remember and I am over it.
I am curious to know more about your cheek biting. I also do this constantly and I've found that my medication helps this but only after an increase in dosage. So far each increase has helped this for a longer amount of time and has made it unbelievably easy. But eventually I find myself gradually doing it again until it becomes a full blown relapse. I've struggled to stop this behaviour for years and it gets very upsetting that I can't seem to stop. I have learned that it is a form of stimulation and considered a BFRB (Body focused repetitive behavior) and I don't find there is enough talk about the inner cheek biting.
Hey Adam! Yeah, i'm a little unsure on this too to be honest. I didn't think it was a big issue for me, but the more I notice it i'm like 'oh!!' I've recently bought Stimagz magnets to fiddle with that I think channel the stimming energy there instead to some extent, so something to fidget with may help?
I keep watching your videos - for the content and also because you were reminding me of someone that I couldn't put my finger on until now. You could be Wood Hawkers' sister. Sorry I couldn't concentrate. 🤣
You seem like such a wonderful personable person (from my side of the parasocial pond anyway ;P). Also totally with you with the vulnerability of dissecting and talking about RSD
Wow!! This is all me. I’ve been taking by Vyvance for many years now and after watching this realize that all these symptoms are back for me. Wondering if I need a med change. Very hard to know …. Hmmmm.
The #1 piece of advice from me is to not listen to people who aren't on stimulants about stimulants. They don't understand and don't know what they're talking about. And ESPECIALLY don't listen to people who don't have ADHD.
Psychedelics, particularly DMT, can be some of the most profoundly mind expanding things that you can experience, because they allow you to examine your life and the world around you and gain new insights into it which you can actually put into practice in your actual life. If you're looking for awe and wonder, DMT will do it, it will show you the multidimensional connectedness of everything, which sounds BS when you say it, but when you see it, it's life-changing.
Very helpful video. thank you! It sounds like Concerta can be a good ADHD medication with people with high-degree of anxieties. That's my situation. I wonder if you might agree with that. Best.
I'm wondering if you took the meds before filming this video or you filmed it in a day where you didn't take it because you sound a bit like me and you're getting distracted 😂
I have had a similar experience to you but don't lose stuff as much anymore. Less sensitive to tags and physical stuff. Less germ phobic. Still rejection sensitive but I'm on antidepressants that help a little with that. The brain music chatting crap at night but not always? Of course! I'll track it against my cycle. Great. :). Arghhhhhhh.
I had to have a hysterectomy bc of endometriosis so i only ahve one overy left and no more periods but since ive noticed other things like more depression and thinning hair,my hair just dont grow as fast and ect... I had PMS growing up with very heavy and painful periods. With endometriosis you produce too much estrogen but ive tried hormone drugs but they cause too many side affects so can't take them so i know i have hormonally problems and imbalance of them
I've happily made a switch to immediate-release meds, though I didn't try the extended-release version for nearly as long as you did. I appreciate the greater control to be off the meds for partial-days, especially to do something like hike or go out with friends that brings other sources of dopamine. (Really interesting what you say about wonder/awe, I'm still processing that for myself!) I've also found that I'm more comfortable on a slightly lower dose when my estrogen is higher (more regular positive effects like reduced pain and improved concentration, but less jittery-brain feelings). I know many folks use the IR meds as a "booster dose" in the evenings to add to XR/XL doses so I'll be interested to hear your experience testing out all that!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience - it's a comfort to me to know others totally understand the complexities of it too and how it interacts with hormones 💛
@@rachdoesyoutube I've come back to this video because I've been struggling with my own medication journey after a couple more months of being on it... I pretty much stopped taking the IR meds because I couldn't stick to a regular schedule, and I think there was too much internal up and down and I ended up getting really sick for two weeks after (probably) doing too much. Anyway, after ditching the meds I found myself in an extended paralysis (burnout?) w.r.t. work (even when not ill anymore). I laughed when I rewatched the section of the video that mentioned couch, TV, and ice cream, because I've basically been doing mostly that. So I'm trying a new ER med now but have had the saddest time yesterday looking up at the bright blue sky and thinking "huh, that's nice." Like I remember what it feels like to look up at the sky and say "wow!", and I think I'm just realizing that maybe the people who DON'T hate staying inside and doing chores, who can really take or leave nature and wondrous things, they're missing out on the awesomeness of that experience. Or at least, I'm missing out on it when I'm medicated. And I know my body's adjusting to the new med, blah blah, and feeling bored all the time is sometimes better than feeling profoundly sad and tired 80% of the time, but I'm confused about how to be a person now that I understand how much psychoactive medications can really alter my experience of the world. I don't expect you to reply to this, but I've decided to leave this long comment here so that you know your insights are helping educate and validate people, even in different ways over time... Thank you for sharing your journey.
@@juneau8457any update, please? Wall texting is encouraged 😊 I am feeling very similar feelings while also struggling to figure out what are my stable values and desires are on meds as personality shifted significantly. Exciting/happy AND stressful/depressing facets are less intense, like a flattened from both sides wave graph. I feel like a hand of my internal compass has become so short it is hard to see preferences any more and whatever is discernable is not that engaging anyway, while sudden orderly and conscientious tendencies make me question how much of my premed personality was built on rationalisations and some fox and the grapes ballad like coping. For example I thought sheets and formulas were not my thing not because I have no discipline and structure, so any maths or economics will just be futile with 1 day of trying per year approach, but because I do not like it enough/enjoy the process. Well now I am listening to economics lectures and thinking that I would probably enjoy a maths degree🤯 and the way my thoughts are flowing... It feels as for I am meeting a new exciting person. On the other hand such tectonic shifts cause a lot of stress and many dreams and hobbies may become obsolete.
The way you're so animated, to me (American diagnosed ADHD) is ADHD. I was diagnosed twice in my life. When I was 10 back in the 1960s(!) I was diagnosed hyperactive. They had Ritalin, but the doctors (University of Michigan Children's Psychiatric room full of people in white coats) decided I didn't need the meds. Basically what my teachers told each other, "Yep. Bright but a real handful." None of the other boys I knew who took Ritalin finished high school. Later in my 50s diagnosed ADHD at UCLA said the medicine didn't cause a problem they just needed to take more of it. As you may already know, Methylphenidate works when it's level is rising in your bloodstream. Which is why so many successful entertainment people snorted coke. Self medicating. So one 10mg in the morning, one at lunch wasn't enough. Coke actually works, but being illegal its dosage is irregular and it's half life in your body is less than Methylphenidate's, so it's very easy to spin out of control or develop a dependency. Alcohol, opioids, also 'work' but by dampening everything and they're highly addictive, so you lose most of the advantages of ADHD and kill your liver or yourself sooner. Absolutely terrific report on food. Speed drugs do suppress appetite but as you say not properly prescribed ADHD meds. My mom and sister both used to take 'diet pills.' They lose a few pounds, my mom would maniacally clean the house and they'd both get really angry. (Near my hometown there was a big bust at a pill mill, doctor just writing prescriptions, line of addicts down the block... to be a wiseass, I left a message on my sister's phone. "Sorry to hear about your doctor. I guess there's still the Broadmoor... (an absolutely notorious drug place in Detroit.) My sister called back, "We didn't know he was a crook." Oh my God.....) Food is self medicating, it's also either an addiction or just a habit. Bored? eat something. When I travel I often miss a lot of meals. I feel hungry, but it's not a problem Daily 16 hour fasting is a really good practice. For diet I started writing everything down. Made a database. Weigh myself everyday, write that down. I created two databases one with nutrition facts of the foods I normally eat, the other a daily diet. I just have to start typing "Mozz" and Mozzerella cheese sticks auto fills from the nutrition facts DB. Then I tab and hit 3, all the macro nutrients are automatically entered and calculated. This is ADHD going overboard on the recommendation: 'If you can, keep a food diary...' It works, it's easy. Four years now. Oatmeal, whole oats by cups, sliced cheese by grams. Slots for exercise, blood pressure, notes. Today so far: 1235 calories, 90.8 g of fat, 53.3 g of carbs, 58.89 g of protein and percentages. Memory. Keep a journal, written, typed. Clearly with these videos you can do this. Takes a while to reach a point where you feel like a good writer. What I noticed is that if I write things down, I remember those things. In college I took notes. Lost my notebook. Did good on the test anyway. Thought I didn't need notes. Stank on the test. Learned: I need to take notes even if I never look at them again. (Our brains do an incredible amount of processing to take something in, turn it into notes, run that down through our hands to a pen or keyboard.) So I have an amazing memory. This pays dividends later. Remember the time we saw Tina Turner when we went to the Leno Show? Who could forget Tina Turner? Rejection. People conform, want to conform, expect everyone else to conform. Mean girls don't just stop when they leave middle school. ADHDers are not good conformers. Most groups would rather accept a mean short tempered conformist than a lovely, positive ADHDer. Story of my life. I'm having an amazing life, lived almost all my dreams. Okay, is it obvious I'm procrastinating?
Her physiology‘s are different but the problem with me is I’m better off not taking them at all then taking them and skipping them like basically, and they said I skipped them. I have to lay in bed all day and set an alarm to wake myself up to take a headache pill, or some sort of mild caffeine pill or if I think I want to have a productive day drink, but loads of caffeine and even then I’m just like a fourth of what I normally am so, it’s just a really weird thing like I don’t wanna live one day three days of my week like a shut in or do I get out of work but I am that’s what happens if I don’t take him and if I take him, they lose advocacy slowly anyways, so I don’t know I’m just kind of stuck. I know some people will rotate different types of all. This makes me feel like a drug addict and I hate it and I often ask myself well if it is like diabetes type one what do people do I mean I guess that the body works differently and they don’t develop a tolerance to insulin. I know not everything in medicine is as predictable operates the same way like Toll Lawrence is a general principle, but there are multiple factors involved arm because you know if someone with diabetes took a day off or if they’re insulin thought of working they were basically die. They wouldn’t just be laying in bed for a day or two so this aspect of it’s a trip so I am I’m really curious how you’re even living a life or functioning on the days you’re off them, especially that often.
Mode of the words to waiting mode is terrible especially when you’re waiting on someone else to confirm a plan and a problem with that as usually our time management and their energy and motivation management, as well as learning how to divvy up things hub basically it’s like it’s like the rate and ability it’s all the executive function stuff like if I do nothing and I show up I’m usually early or on time and what sucks is it that person cancels or it’s late but then if I’m doing some things and my EDD gets the best of me even with meds I end up being late so at some point and literally become Sundays were like my day is trash around this friend being there at three and I can’t do any of my other stuff it’s crazy
It is a Constantine, constant balancing act because life is a drug like it is, it’s just wild like we all know from Covid obviously social interaction is both motivating in most cases and relaxing aspect of serotonin boosting oxytocin dopamine norepinephrine, but there are variations to this to like say you have ADD it’s on control. Do you have an important meeting you can’t get through thoughts together Maybe it’s not so serotonin boosting to go to that meeting maybe the anxiety will actually deplete you of it because that can happen with extreme stress that’s just one example all these factors called life food the way we’re functioning in life the way we’re thinking about it medication‘s all of these your body, and as a female hormones season circadian rhythms the times as a timer for a PC economy all this crazy stuff. Wow there’s just a lot to think about.
No I am I’m actually surprised because I took my Vyvanse like I don’t know an hour and a half ago and I can barely move and breathe. I drag 6 miles a day. Sometimes it’s good sometimes I’m watching like someone who is 500 pounds and I’m like what happen is it one day closer to my period is it that I’m low iron cause I took the wrong iron pills is it some weird thing I’m just constantly like what happened today like the ball game is always changing so slow crazy as I know a lot of other people don’t deal with this everything always changing and I it’s actually frustrating. Sometimes I feel like you can’t commit to anyone or anything or even yourself. Do you know when there’s constantly a war When your food supply is changing your the ground underneath you is shifting and being broken out like a earthquake or a tornado how do you build one that’s constantly happening your shelter so for the extent that all this changes happening today, understand your life doesn’t move along or do you think that is backwards is incredibly frustrating like today if I could do this job in one hour I would’ve done my drag going to the bank so it’s OK. I’ve been ready to meet my friend for dinner I’m like it. I’m walking back and I can make it to my car but on another day it’s a drink coffee and try doing this again Jessica and myself off to bass and sometimes it’s agonizing like a cat and I literally have to lay in my bed because I’m putting some sort of hell between being awake and asleep and then it’s embarrassing because if I’m with my parents or a friend and they see this they just think it’s disgusting and it kind of is but I don’t think I can do much else and I’m even wondering what’s wrong with me and I start wondering do I really have MS or some mitochondrial disorder like you know we call these things ADD bipolar Why we have our names and there’s so much crossover but I don’t think I’m special but I often wonder like things that takes people like your realization that what you’re able to say and not be on your meds, I’m not able to do or sometimes arm you know people seemingly had worse than me are better after a year of in-house therapy and four years later I found myself worse and I’m just like I wonder what’s going on with me I wonder if I should even think about it I don’t know right now I can barely catch my breath and I’m walking on flatland hello run 6 miles a day. Obviously I’ll take breaks it’s not that tired cause I’m running but you get my point.
The best thing for me, though is when you’re on them your life is not ruled by constant hunger, one less variable for a time as they were off I’m pretty ravenous in a pinch. It’s like my stomach me before but my brain chemical hardwired I don’t know what it is it’s not just I need to be doing something with my hands or mouth and I’m like am I trying to get enough water is my friend starving for dopamine or something but I I literally lie in bed Eating low-carb bread strawberries, peanut low carb yogurt back-and-forth you be shocked at how much hell I’m just like oh it’s just nice. Be nice to be normal like not be an addict or at the mercy of everything including food but it is nice when when you take the medication just to not have the urgency of starving Rule your shit oh, the sad Life, Julia,and also
I don't but I definitely should. It's helped me in the past but I really struggle to make it part of my regular routine so it's currently earmarked as a 'will try again at some point' thing 😅
Hey Rachel, really liking your videos. I started watching them today. You remind me of when I lived in UK. By the way, you said you didn't want to talk about your rejection sensitivity and I assume it's due to shame around it. Don't feel that shame, it's a trait you can't help without meds, work or both..actually check out the drug "clonadine" I am a pharmacist and whilst this drug is usually an older second or third line blood pressure med, it has been used in ADHD specifically for rejection sensitivity. It might be worth chatting to your doc about it. Best !
Thanks Cat - I'm definitely keen to say more on PMS! At the moment I'm having general psychotherapy and haven't explored CBT/DBT but I suspect will be helpful in future! Will report back if I do.
Losing your sense of awe is the methylphenidate girl. It's similar to cocaine minus the crazy component that attaches to your serotonin transmitters. I don't think Concerta is best for women, with all our hormone fluctuations and whatnot - anything low-dose ephedrine is the way to go. Too much and you feel "too much" awe and wonder, even if it ain't there.
THANK YOU. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: one who find adulting with a hamster a confusing and odd situation, and those who understand it's not weird at all 😄
I just got diagnosed at 37 and EVERYTHING you said resonates with me. I had a specific idea of what ADHD was and never thought that was me
Omgod! Waiting mode!! I can't tell you how validating it is to have this horrible feeling named and to know that other who have ADHD have this same feeling and understand this.
And then when you were saying that when you were in that debilitating waiting mode you started 12 things but then just couldn't grasp any of them and then it felt like in your head it was like" eh, meh, ieeaarrkligolkuoplouurreessjjiil".
You have no idea how that both cracked me up and made me tear up at the same time, all because I could relate 1000%.
As a 46-year-old man who was recently diagnosed with ADD, I have to say I love your videos and your personality. Keep it up!
I found your channel yesterday and subbed almost straight away. I like how informal, and unpolished (charming rather than unprofessional!) your videos are. You're fun, and engaging. And as a fellow UK person, I find the conversational delivery a bit more relatable than some of the US UA-camrs (as helpful as they can be).
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. I'm 50, and still waiting for my assessment, but each new thing I learn about ADHD further obliterates any doubts that I've had it all my life. Wishing you lots of success with your channel, and wanted to drop by with a bit of dopamine / encouragement.
haha I might change my channel tagline to 'charming rather than unprofessional' Thanks so much for saying this💛 I read this comment on my way to work earlier this week and it gave me such a boost! Yay to the dopamine!
It’s interesting what you said about losing that sense of delighted wonder at the world around you. I’ve just been diagnosed at 52 and have only been on Adderall for a week starting at 5 mg and working up gradually so it’s still very early days for me but of the wonderful things has been getting the sense of wonder back. My head is les cluttered so there is more room for me to notice things more. I went to bed a couple of nights ago and I felt happy and content which, I only then realised, I haven’t felt for a loooonng time. We’ll see how it goes but it’s nice to actually feel more like myself again. I’m also post menopausal so I’m assuming the complete lack of oestregen has something to do with that too.
So interesting! Thanks for sharing - it just goes to show how different it is for different people and the most important thing is finding what's right for you. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling content 🥰
@@worldbeing8305 thanks for asking. I’m on 60 mg of Vyvanse now with a 15-20 mg Adderall top up in the afternoon if I have something later in the evening that I need focus for. So far so good! Only side effects are a bit of dry mouth and a slightly elevated heart rate as the Adderall kicks in and when it clicks off. I only use the Adderall once or twice a week. The ever present low grade depression has gone, I’m getting to know how this beautiful brain of mine works and I’m loving the journey. It’s like I’m finally getting to know me as I learn the skills to go along with the pills.
@@sewmad1400wow! That’s a high dosage. How come you didn’t go with Concerta instead? I just started 18mg Concerta three days ago.
I am so glad to have found your comment here! I’m 50 and recently diagnosed, been on Ritalin for two weeks. The first few days I felt like a slow motion zombie but thankfully that passed. I had a similar experience as you, the beauty of my brain being calm enough has allowed me to see everything with a different perspective. I am able to take things in and enjoy them fully with all my senses. When I complete something I feel accomplished rather than it just being a weight lifted off my shoulders only to have the next thing take its place. My anxiety, panic attacks, and depression are much lighter and I can deal with them with a clear head that isn’t cycling through one horrible thought after another. The nice thing is how subtle it is, I have to catch myself behaving differently. Much of what I had to deal with is still there, it’s just more manageable. I want to have to flex my mental muscles and see this as a good thing. I hope that this has staying power and I don’t get resistant.
I would love to hear more about your experience as a fellow post menopausal woman that’s a bit ahead of me in all this! So much of what you said aligns with myself. Hope you’re doing great 3 months on from your update! 😊
I bloody love your videos, you're helping me so much on my own ADHD journey. I was diagnosed as an adult and currently awaiting meds. You're also hilarious and a pleasure to watch ☺️ x
Heheee thanks Cat, this makes me feel joyous!
When you started with the IBS I was convinced that we are the same person. And the PMDD. I’ve been on continuous BC so that my hormones never fluctuate. Those two weeks are horrible but you are totally right! It’s the hormone interaction with ADHD. I’m trying to resist the urge to think that everything is ADHDs fault. I’ve watched all your med updates. I just started this week. I’m going to watch your other videos, thank you for sharing its very validating.
Thanks so much for watching 💛 Yeah, the hormones are a whole beast to contend with. I'm planning to do a more detailed video about PMDD 'cause it's really resonated with a lot of people!
Thank you! Your honesty and rawness is truly refreshing. And your sense of humor is amazing!
Yay! Thanks for being here 💛
Thanks for this video! I was diagnosed a month ago at age 30, and it's wild how much I can relate to almost everything you say. It's like someone told you all my weird internal struggles that I have never told anyone (but medical professionals), and you just made a video about them. It's been an emotional month, realizing I'm not alone with this. I always felt so weird, and no one could understand me. I just came to the conclusion that everyone probably had the same struggles, but I was just lazy or stupid, etc.
I love your channel and the energy you bring to each topic! Thanks for the creative descriptions of the small details and mini struggles - super comforting.
Also, your fairground burnout analogy from another video is brilliant.
Thanks Matthew - this gave me a lil spring in my step 🤩 Thanks so much for watching
The way you are describing the development of your medication journey, is beautiful.
Also, the lantern view vs spotlight view is so clicking with me right now. I have just radically changed my schedule, and for the first time in a long time I have given myself the space to enjoy my own "lantern view" which my partner affectionately calls my "g vision". It had been so long since I gave myself space to see in that way, that it was quite emotional! So needless to say I was tearing up a little at your explanations here ❤
I look forward to seeing more of your journey, and thank you for letting us peek behind the curtain!
'G vision' makes my heart sing! Thanks for being here 💛
Second comment needed - I really like the way you talk, present all the points, seeming very authentic, leave in a lot of chatty parts someone else might have cut and that entertain me a lot! ❤
Yay, thanks for saying that!
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been trying to find reviews that felt authentic and honest about the personal journey with ADHD and meds annd not just a generic list of pros and cons or sciencey video about how different drugs work. Your personality is brilliant and I watched your video the whole way through without getting distracted - which is a real feat haha. I’ve honestly never watched a video more relatable or helpful and I feel very resonant in hearing you talk about your symptoms. When you’re ready to share about rejection sensitivity we will be here to affirm and grow along with you. Thank you again for your video and I’m looking forward to connecting more. You’re a real one!
It's like hearing my feelings out loud. Just what I needed. More help than from all the specialists I've seen. Thank you❤
So glad I helped - thank you for saying that 💛
My gosh I could listen to you all day!! Love your humor and your accent. Very helpful information.
hehe thank you 😊
This was literally so helpful, I also have inattentive adhd and I started meds a month ago. This is so good, ty!
You are very welcome!
I am now 42, but was diagnosed last fall at age 41. I've always struggled with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Depression, horrible PMDD and IBS. Also, after getting out of an extremely abusive marriage, I now deal with PTSD. But once I received the ADHD diagnosis, years of my life began to make sense.
As a Mama of five with my two youngest being toddlers, I've been afraid to begin the medication due to possible side effects. Especially since I have two littles to care for. I've had Concerta 18mg sitting here for over a month. I'm really struggling and I know things need to change. I guess I need to really suck it up and try the medication! My kids deserve the best of me, not this.
Thank you for sharing your journey ❤
I just wanted to validate that it's ok you've been waiting for the right time to try the medication; for me there's been a bit of trial and error and the shifts in both physical side effects and mood over time are not always easy to handle. (Though both should get easier after the body adjusts for a couple weeks to a new med, especially if you drink extra water and eat regularly!) I don't have kids so I can only imagine that going on this self-discovery process while also having to be "on" for your little ones isn't simple. If I could encourage you to do one thing it would be to set up support so you can take some amount of time to yourself to process your experiences soon after starting any meds, whether it's a day to rest or five minutes of journaling before bed, because you're the only one who can really determine what the best version of yourself looks like. However you proceed, I believe in you
Love love love this, yes 💛
Thank you for your delightful self
hehe you're most welcome!
Waiting mode?! I had never heard of it before but it rings so true. I absolutely experience this.
Thanks for your great, honest videos.
Thanks Chris 💛
This video is Soo nice to watch!
I love how raw and honest it is! Thank you 😊
I agree that those who understand you will and the rest don't matter (just accepting our human limits)
Can't wait for the update on the different new dosages
Yippeee, thank you 💛
Hi Rachel, love your videos! It would be great to see a video about ADHD and sleep problems like insomnia. Thanks!
Thank you for this. Been watching this and other videos on ADHD to try and gain insight for my young non-verbal son, and I've found it so illuminating. Also, so very well structured. I can see why you looked into teaching. Maybe mentorship is more your thing? Anywho. Thanks very much for sharing all the detail that you have. Feeling sparky or no, you're creating a lot of meaningful sparks and ripple effects for us here in the community. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you for this video. It is so relatable. I've just been diagnosed and will be trying meds soon. I have IBS and bad PMS (likely PMDD) so I'm trying to gather info from as many sources as possible. So glad to hear your pharmacist just 'got it'. Doesn't always happen, so she is quality. Please keep posting, you are very engaging to watch! Take care.
Thank you! 💛
I love your sounds haha, also thank you for explaining what its like having adhd in a way I didn't have words for! I am 35 recently started meds, omg it feels a light has turned on in a part of my brain I didnt know existed. So many less noise and intrusive distracting thoughts
Love your identification of the 'waiting' concept! Can relate so much. Stimulant meds keeps focus on the here and now vs anxiety about the future? Also re. stimulant meds, been told should take for no longer than 5 days before taking 48 hours off. They do eventually stop working 😔 but this helps to extend their life span. And you get to enjoy the variety and benefits of the two days off as well as the days on!
Thanks for sharing Kirsten 💛
Loved your comment on not being a drug person because you fear adding anything to your natural high - that's exactly how I feel.
Who needs a high when being awake is sometimes the biggest high you need 😂
Thank you for sharing, I relate.
I found purpose in seeing how the world around us, was created for us, and what that implies….
While I would not go back to self medding, the delics, in micro measure, allow focused latency, a broad view, but with only one voice, for an adhd overfocused / inattentive mind.
Some day we won’t need meds anymore. I believe this. ‘No one will say ‘I am sick’.
Wow Rachel, i am so happy to found your channel! I have a channel in Dutch where i discribe human experiences very much the same as you do. I really love your personality and vibe. Please continu this sorts of video's for years! Look at you be you! Be you always. Shine! 🌟
Oh amazing! Thank you for watching. I'd love to watch your channel, but my Dutch skills are non existent 🤣
Hi Rachel, this is my YT channel. I just uploaded a video and a shoutout towards you. 😅
ua-cam.com/video/X_NSqqPweao/v-deo.htmlsi=-Q5n6uaZavF1UdHP
I, too, love trees. Thanks for these videos :)
Thanks 🌳
@@rachdoesyoutubeso looking back on it, do you think it’s worth it to seek medication? Do the pros outweigh the cons?
Omg you explaining the restlessness feeling in your stomach is such a personal experience!! I remember ever since I was a kid I would constantly feel that feeling when I wasn’t moving around much, like drawing etc and it would build up sooooooo much that I literally had to stop drawing even though I wanted to do it so bad because I had to move to release that gross feeling. I’d try to explain that to my mum or teachers and they thought I was just weird? Then when I got diagnosed a year ago and was explaining that exact thing EXACTLY how you were explaining it and was told ‘oh yeah that’s just restlessness, very common’ and it was such an easy questioned to be answered but no me could answer for me until a year ago
First off, I love your way of telling a story and how nuanced you are. Also the pink wobbly head in the background made me chuckle a few times and actually helped me focus on what you’re saying.
Interesting you mention the restlessness. I thought I have the PI type but it was actually both. my psychiatrist was like ummm nope, you have many hyperactive symptoms but they’re not the classic ones you’d expect, referring to the racing thoughts, restlessness and impulsive decisions. Apparently women experience it differently. Even if you dont get up in the middle of a meeting because it’s inappropriate, the fact you’re restless and trying to prevent yourself from doing it means the hyperactivity is there but you’re not acting on it due to social conventions.
Also regarding the “oh that tree is so beautiful” feeling, I had a different experience to you. I couldnt care less before my diagnosis, I was so tired and not present that I rarely felt excitement about anything anymore. Everything was a chore. But after meds I realised how many things I’ve missed and how beautiful it is to be present. The first few days I cried every time the meds were kicking in and I got that feeling of calm and mindfullness. Suddenly I can enjoy the little things in life again without being on a dopamine hunt. Iam only a couple of weeks in though, so I’ll definitely keep an eye on it. Becoming emotionally flat is one of my fears because I experienced it throughout my life and I hate it, but now thanks to you I know there’s a potential solution should this be a side effect of medication.
I think there was smth else I wanted to mention but I forgot. Oh well🤷♀️I was gonna say I’m looking forward to see how your new meds schedule works and then I realised this video is a year old🤦♀️. I guess I’ll go look for the update 😂
It's all super useful, mine start this week & I've no idea what to expect
This was pretty profound to hear. I notice you said that you can go to a lower dose or take a shorter dose so it wears off in the evening so you can be Sparky Rachel, and that you can do things and feel joy when you don't take the medication. How are you doing that? I take 20 mg Adderall XL, and when I don't take my meds and when they wear off, I feel so exhausted and apathetic that I can barely do anything. How do you avoid this? Thanks!
Heya! I guess this might just be a personal reaction to the meds. I generally don't notice when they wear off. When I tried the shorter acting Medikinet I did (they made me fall asleep after 2 hours), but I don't have that reaction when Concerta longer acting wears off.
First video I've seen from you. Very helpfull in my journey. Thank you.
Yay, thanks for being here!
Thanks for the video, this was exactly what I needed at the moment.
Appreciate you for being here!
maybe this is a weird irrelevant comment but those earrings sit really nicely in your ears. exactly perfect thickness etc, also the pms stuff is so true. ive taken the pill for a year, and been on various anti depressants (technically im on zoloft but didnt order new ones since may so im dying from that rn!) because the *restlessness and frustration* and feeling unhinged from pms was too much to bare. i wonder if a lot of "pmdd" is just adhd/asd (i have both) being exacerbated by the pms......... ive had really strong su*cidal thoughts every month because of this. i hope this week coming to make an appt with an adhd specialist !!!! hopefully life takes a turn after that. altho i do think i need to get my antidepressants back personally
Hello, this is the second video on the channel that I've watched and it's very helpful! Thank You!
The comparison of our adhd brain to a TikTok doomscroll of random memories and thoughts that trigger feelings (which tend to be intense) is so spot on. This is such a struggle. Also, does anyne have experience with heightened anxiety when on ADHD meds while burnt out? :D Very specific, but probably relatable.
Good luck with ritalin! I switched from concerta to ritalin and I really like the control I have throughout the day. For me it was particularly important because I felt like concerta was lasting too long and messing with my sleep.
Aha that's helpful to hear, thank you!
You are so much fun and super relatable. Im two weeks away from my evaluation and hoping for an answer finally. Everyday is a true struggle. Thanks for the videos! 💜
I hope you got the answers you're looking for 💛
@@rachdoesyoutube I wish. Turns out I waited 6 months for this appointment that was to evaluate me to submit to my insurance for approval to be tested. I'm crushed. More waiting.. So tired..
Oh Rachel, it didn´t feel boring not one second. It´s felt like the most joyful and accurate depiction i´ve come across. You described ADHD life so so well. I just hit 30. Always struggled with mental health, always blended in (sort of) due to being hyperintelligent, and I felt like life my whole life has just been a huge ride to tackle two things. One. Understand what the fucks happens with my mind. Two. Get through the day. ADHD resonated just so much and my whole life clicked. Went right ahead for the diagnosis and i´m now on my first month of concerta 18mg. There´s this part at the end where you talk about gut, intuition, compass. There´s this funny thing that happens to me, and that my (fortunately) very loving friends know and care to be reassuring. Everyone points how well I cook and how much taste I create. When giving those sort of compliment, I feel this weird shame. Deep inside, I know It wasn´t just curiosity and wonder, it was plain desperation to get my life going. Intuitively I´ve learnt that making things interesting was the only way of making my brain work. It´s not that I ventured into the depths of youtube to be amazing and learn cool stuff. It was that or not eating. I´m a very independent man, deeply emotional, deeply thoughful, deeply loving, and in a way, everything happened because absolutely everything in life was just messy af. Like immeasurable hard and difficult to understand. Even emotions and thoughts. I´m hopeful for my treatment so that it dampens that very loud noise, but I also don´t want to lose that spark. Having a foggy mind and a broken compass all my life made me stumbled so much, yet it taught me to persevere and be spiritual. It taught this very specific way in which life feels actually good. To be so goddamn curious and to find joy in so mundane and usually forgotten things. It taught me to set things in motion, to set life in motion. These months have been a rollercoaster. Being undiagnosed and untreated for so long sure had its damage. Trying so hard to keep my shit together. Therapy and psylocibin have been great teachers. To know that I´ll be ok and that I´ve been always ok. That I was just trying to win a battle that was not for me to fight. A whole life swimming agaisnt the tide without even knowing there was even a tide. Love yourselves folks, you´ve been doing great all along
Thank you so much for sharing this - it got me really emotional! Spoke straight to the heart, thank you!
It's very enlightning to see the journey you're on ! Thanks for this video !
Thanks for being here!
I loved what you talked about at the end of video.
I’ve just been diagnosed at 45, I’ve actually come to terms on my own about how I am and found loads of work arounds. I have done tons of stuff over the years that I have stuck to because I know they work for me (without knowing that they were actually helping to manage my ADHD). Like high protein diet, exercise, good sleep, mindfulness, self forgiveness etc. My diagnosis has explained why I am the way I know I am and has absolutely helped me forgive myself even more.
I will explore meds. I don’t want to lose that connection that I do have with the bigger picture, but sometimes I’ve just got to do the laundry!
That is one of the benefits of late diagnosis. It might be painful, but we find ways to figure things out from sheer will and resourcefulness of solving the confusing riddle of life! Yes meds do take the edge off which can be a massive relief at times.
I have a similar IBS problem for I think the same reasons, and I recently started taking 2mg Imodium (loperamide) every morning (as suggested by my GI doctor) and it's made a world of difference! I just wanted to throw that out there in case you haven't already considered it. Thanks for your videos!
so funny, just this morning i was sad, that the youtube algorism kept presenting me the same persons, when i search for adhd and women and TADAAA, there you are... HAPPY, love your videos, can relate so much!!!
This brought a smile to my day!
Fun and useful--thanks so much!!!
You're so welcome!
Rachel... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING! How is your sparky aspect of personality at this moment? I will be starting my meds soon, but Id like to keep my overpositive attitude that gets sparked by little things. I am so glad to hear someone talking about that. Hope your having an amazing weekend
IBS!!! Holy Cow!!! I have had that - not celiac - and, on meds I can eat more things. Before on the FODMAP diet, it was really hard to find menus especially eating out.
Is there anything that actually does help working memory & forgetfulness? I was hopeful that meds would help with that since I struggle every day with executive function, working memory, and forgetfulness i.e. tripping over the same pair of shoes 10x in one evening, being told a list of things to grab and not remembering more than 3 things, not noticing details, etc. It all makes me feel incredibly stupid.
I personally haven't noticed meds help with memory. I guess it reduces the amount going on in my head at once so less likely that another thought will force out what I need to remember, but not a noticeable difference. I think it's gotta be a life strategies thing.
Thank you! You inspired me so much. I can relate to that feeling when you lose sense of the world around you. I realize now, that I've been feeling that way for about 4 months. A few days ago, I took the first drug-free day. At first it felt uncomfortable to "be me" again, but at the end of the day I looked at the surrounding world and felt like it might had been something that I missed at the bottom of my heart haha. It's soothing to hear that I am not the only one who felt that way.
I really like your energy, keep going :D
Thanks so much 💛 and it's a comfort for me too to hear it's not just me! Thanks for watching
YOUR IBS DISAPPEARED OMFG
I just started this medication today. The way you explained it makes so much sense. Send good vibes that I can eat apples and garlic again. 🤞🏻
Thank you! I was scared to try med's but im going to after my surgery tomorrow. But there hiving me a med iff label for add,my depression and motivation and fatigue syndrome. I have ibs-c and alot of chronic health conditions and hoping this medication helps with this and other things without side effects. I have tried Vyvanse but made my anxiety and panic disorder and headaches amd and harder to sleep. Have you ever heard of modifinil? They cant get my severe depression disorder under control and ive trued so many&my mental health doctor thinks it can help this.
I remember asking the whole "Why are we here?" question years ago, waaaaaay before I found out I have ADHD, which I only got diagnosed for this year. I have gone through a few emotions since finding out, but I am looking forward to starting treatment soon. I have lacked focus and holding attention for as long as I can remember and I am over it.
I am curious to know more about your cheek biting. I also do this constantly and I've found that my medication helps this but only after an increase in dosage. So far each increase has helped this for a longer amount of time and has made it unbelievably easy. But eventually I find myself gradually doing it again until it becomes a full blown relapse.
I've struggled to stop this behaviour for years and it gets very upsetting that I can't seem to stop. I have learned that it is a form of stimulation and considered a BFRB (Body focused repetitive behavior) and I don't find there is enough talk about the inner cheek biting.
Hey Adam! Yeah, i'm a little unsure on this too to be honest. I didn't think it was a big issue for me, but the more I notice it i'm like 'oh!!' I've recently bought Stimagz magnets to fiddle with that I think channel the stimming energy there instead to some extent, so something to fidget with may help?
The USA uses the 3 ADHD types as well versus ADHD and ADD, thanks for this helpful video!
Aha! Thanks for clarifying 😊
I keep watching your videos - for the content and also because you were reminding me of someone that I couldn't put my finger on until now. You could be Wood Hawkers' sister. Sorry I couldn't concentrate. 🤣
You seem like such a wonderful personable person (from my side of the parasocial pond anyway ;P).
Also totally with you with the vulnerability of dissecting and talking about RSD
My Concerta 36mg doesn't have XL. Does it mean it is S, M or L? :D
Can you please make a video "How to asses the size of your Concerta?" ;)
Asses. _twerks_
haha not sure what makes mine XL but I enjoyed the image this brought to mind of some comedy giant sized pills 😂
Wow!! This is all me. I’ve been taking by Vyvance for many years now and after watching this realize that all these symptoms are back for me. Wondering if I need a med change. Very hard to know …. Hmmmm.
10:33 - best part of the video!
The #1 piece of advice from me is to not listen to people who aren't on stimulants about stimulants. They don't understand and don't know what they're talking about. And ESPECIALLY don't listen to people who don't have ADHD.
I can’t wait to start meds
Psychedelics, particularly DMT, can be some of the most profoundly mind expanding things that you can experience, because they allow you to examine your life and the world around you and gain new insights into it which you can actually put into practice in your actual life.
If you're looking for awe and wonder, DMT will do it, it will show you the multidimensional connectedness of everything, which sounds BS when you say it, but when you see it, it's life-changing.
Yeah I'm super intrigued by this. I'm gonna do some more research *off into the rabbit hole I goooooo*
Very helpful video. thank you! It sounds like Concerta can be a good ADHD medication with people with high-degree of anxieties. That's my situation. I wonder if you might agree with that. Best.
10:35 that "sound effect" "tzert tzert tzertul tul tul" ... thank you lol
hahaaa you're welcome
Where did you get your neon signs love them ❤
I'm wondering if you took the meds before filming this video or you filmed it in a day where you didn't take it because you sound a bit like me and you're getting distracted 😂
I have had a similar experience to you but don't lose stuff as much anymore. Less sensitive to tags and physical stuff. Less germ phobic. Still rejection sensitive but I'm on antidepressants that help a little with that. The brain music chatting crap at night but not always? Of course! I'll track it against my cycle. Great. :). Arghhhhhhh.
I had to have a hysterectomy bc of endometriosis so i only ahve one overy left and no more periods but since ive noticed other things like more depression and thinning hair,my hair just dont grow as fast and ect... I had PMS growing up with very heavy and painful periods. With endometriosis you produce too much estrogen but ive tried hormone drugs but they cause too many side affects so can't take them so i know i have hormonally problems and imbalance of them
I've happily made a switch to immediate-release meds, though I didn't try the extended-release version for nearly as long as you did. I appreciate the greater control to be off the meds for partial-days, especially to do something like hike or go out with friends that brings other sources of dopamine. (Really interesting what you say about wonder/awe, I'm still processing that for myself!) I've also found that I'm more comfortable on a slightly lower dose when my estrogen is higher (more regular positive effects like reduced pain and improved concentration, but less jittery-brain feelings). I know many folks use the IR meds as a "booster dose" in the evenings to add to XR/XL doses so I'll be interested to hear your experience testing out all that!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience - it's a comfort to me to know others totally understand the complexities of it too and how it interacts with hormones 💛
@@rachdoesyoutube I've come back to this video because I've been struggling with my own medication journey after a couple more months of being on it... I pretty much stopped taking the IR meds because I couldn't stick to a regular schedule, and I think there was too much internal up and down and I ended up getting really sick for two weeks after (probably) doing too much. Anyway, after ditching the meds I found myself in an extended paralysis (burnout?) w.r.t. work (even when not ill anymore). I laughed when I rewatched the section of the video that mentioned couch, TV, and ice cream, because I've basically been doing mostly that. So I'm trying a new ER med now but have had the saddest time yesterday looking up at the bright blue sky and thinking "huh, that's nice." Like I remember what it feels like to look up at the sky and say "wow!", and I think I'm just realizing that maybe the people who DON'T hate staying inside and doing chores, who can really take or leave nature and wondrous things, they're missing out on the awesomeness of that experience. Or at least, I'm missing out on it when I'm medicated. And I know my body's adjusting to the new med, blah blah, and feeling bored all the time is sometimes better than feeling profoundly sad and tired 80% of the time, but I'm confused about how to be a person now that I understand how much psychoactive medications can really alter my experience of the world. I don't expect you to reply to this, but I've decided to leave this long comment here so that you know your insights are helping educate and validate people, even in different ways over time... Thank you for sharing your journey.
@@juneau8457any update, please? Wall texting is encouraged 😊
I am feeling very similar feelings while also struggling to figure out what are my stable values and desires are on meds as personality shifted significantly. Exciting/happy AND stressful/depressing facets are less intense, like a flattened from both sides wave graph. I feel like a hand of my internal compass has become so short it is hard to see preferences any more and whatever is discernable is not that engaging anyway, while sudden orderly and conscientious tendencies make me question how much of my premed personality was built on rationalisations and some fox and the grapes ballad like coping. For example I thought sheets and formulas were not my thing not because I have no discipline and structure, so any maths or economics will just be futile with 1 day of trying per year approach, but because I do not like it enough/enjoy the process. Well now I am listening to economics lectures and thinking that I would probably enjoy a maths degree🤯 and the way my thoughts are flowing... It feels as for I am meeting a new exciting person. On the other hand such tectonic shifts cause a lot of stress and many dreams and hobbies may become obsolete.
The way you're so animated, to me (American diagnosed ADHD) is ADHD. I was diagnosed twice in my life. When I was 10 back in the 1960s(!) I was diagnosed hyperactive. They had Ritalin, but the doctors (University of Michigan Children's Psychiatric room full of people in white coats) decided I didn't need the meds. Basically what my teachers told each other, "Yep. Bright but a real handful." None of the other boys I knew who took Ritalin finished high school. Later in my 50s diagnosed ADHD at UCLA said the medicine didn't cause a problem they just needed to take more of it. As you may already know, Methylphenidate works when it's level is rising in your bloodstream. Which is why so many successful entertainment people snorted coke. Self medicating. So one 10mg in the morning, one at lunch wasn't enough. Coke actually works, but being illegal its dosage is irregular and it's half life in your body is less than Methylphenidate's, so it's very easy to spin out of control or develop a dependency. Alcohol, opioids, also 'work' but by dampening everything and they're highly addictive, so you lose most of the advantages of ADHD and kill your liver or yourself sooner.
Absolutely terrific report on food. Speed drugs do suppress appetite but as you say not properly prescribed ADHD meds. My mom and sister both used to take 'diet pills.' They lose a few pounds, my mom would maniacally clean the house and they'd both get really angry. (Near my hometown there was a big bust at a pill mill, doctor just writing prescriptions, line of addicts down the block... to be a wiseass, I left a message on my sister's phone. "Sorry to hear about your doctor. I guess there's still the Broadmoor... (an absolutely notorious drug place in Detroit.) My sister called back, "We didn't know he was a crook." Oh my God.....)
Food is self medicating, it's also either an addiction or just a habit. Bored? eat something. When I travel I often miss a lot of meals. I feel hungry, but it's not a problem Daily 16 hour fasting is a really good practice.
For diet I started writing everything down. Made a database. Weigh myself everyday, write that down. I created two databases one with nutrition facts of the foods I normally eat, the other a daily diet. I just have to start typing "Mozz" and Mozzerella cheese sticks auto fills from the nutrition facts DB. Then I tab and hit 3, all the macro nutrients are automatically entered and calculated. This is ADHD going overboard on the recommendation: 'If you can, keep a food diary...' It works, it's easy. Four years now. Oatmeal, whole oats by cups, sliced cheese by grams. Slots for exercise, blood pressure, notes. Today so far: 1235 calories, 90.8 g of fat, 53.3 g of carbs, 58.89 g of protein and percentages.
Memory. Keep a journal, written, typed. Clearly with these videos you can do this. Takes a while to reach a point where you feel like a good writer. What I noticed is that if I write things down, I remember those things. In college I took notes. Lost my notebook. Did good on the test anyway. Thought I didn't need notes. Stank on the test. Learned: I need to take notes even if I never look at them again. (Our brains do an incredible amount of processing to take something in, turn it into notes, run that down through our hands to a pen or keyboard.) So I have an amazing memory. This pays dividends later. Remember the time we saw Tina Turner when we went to the Leno Show? Who could forget Tina Turner?
Rejection. People conform, want to conform, expect everyone else to conform. Mean girls don't just stop when they leave middle school. ADHDers are not good conformers. Most groups would rather accept a mean short tempered conformist than a lovely, positive ADHDer. Story of my life. I'm having an amazing life, lived almost all my dreams.
Okay, is it obvious I'm procrastinating?
really interesting thanks for the vid
You're welcome - thanks for watching! 💫
Thank you so much!!
You're very welcome!
Mine is due to start this week
Her physiology‘s are different but the problem with me is I’m better off not taking them at all then taking them and skipping them like basically, and they said I skipped them. I have to lay in bed all day and set an alarm to wake myself up to take a headache pill, or some sort of mild caffeine pill or if I think I want to have a productive day drink, but loads of caffeine and even then I’m just like a fourth of what I normally am so, it’s just a really weird thing like I don’t wanna live one day three days of my week like a shut in or do I get out of work but I am that’s what happens if I don’t take him and if I take him, they lose advocacy slowly anyways, so I don’t know I’m just kind of stuck. I know some people will rotate different types of all. This makes me feel like a drug addict and I hate it and I often ask myself well if it is like diabetes type one what do people do I mean I guess that the body works differently and they don’t develop a tolerance to insulin. I know not everything in medicine is as predictable operates the same way like Toll Lawrence is a general principle, but there are multiple factors involved arm because you know if someone with diabetes took a day off or if they’re insulin thought of working they were basically die. They wouldn’t just be laying in bed for a day or two so this aspect of it’s a trip so I am I’m really curious how you’re even living a life or functioning on the days you’re off them, especially that often.
Hi! All you say is so interesting and helpful. My solution about pms is to take Jasminelle (in France)
Sorry the message is cut, about the jasminelle I'm gonna try without the 7 days break because I read an articl
Saying it doesn't increase the side effect of you take the pills continuously!
Do you feel increase in anger and anxiety during the first weeks ?
Great video and by the way PMS stands for punishing men severely LOL😅😅
You’re wonderful - should be tv presenter
hehe thank you!
I have zero appetite suppression on it. 😂. I wish I had some.
I try to get rid of sugar as much as i can but it led me to memory issues... is this adhd?
Less sugar led to memory issues or more sugar led to memory issues?
Mode of the words to waiting mode is terrible especially when you’re waiting on someone else to confirm a plan and a problem with that as usually our time management and their energy and motivation management, as well as learning how to divvy up things hub basically it’s like it’s like the rate and ability it’s all the executive function stuff like if I do nothing and I show up I’m usually early or on time and what sucks is it that person cancels or it’s late but then if I’m doing some things and my EDD gets the best of me even with meds I end up being late so at some point and literally become Sundays were like my day is trash around this friend being there at three and I can’t do any of my other stuff it’s crazy
It is a Constantine, constant balancing act because life is a drug like it is, it’s just wild like we all know from Covid obviously social interaction is both motivating in most cases and relaxing aspect of serotonin boosting oxytocin dopamine norepinephrine, but there are variations to this to like say you have ADD it’s on control. Do you have an important meeting you can’t get through thoughts together Maybe it’s not so serotonin boosting to go to that meeting maybe the anxiety will actually deplete you of it because that can happen with extreme stress that’s just one example all these factors called life food the way we’re functioning in life the way we’re thinking about it medication‘s all of these your body, and as a female hormones season circadian rhythms the times as a timer for a PC economy all this crazy stuff. Wow there’s just a lot to think about.
No I am I’m actually surprised because I took my Vyvanse like I don’t know an hour and a half ago and I can barely move and breathe. I drag 6 miles a day. Sometimes it’s good sometimes I’m watching like someone who is 500 pounds and I’m like what happen is it one day closer to my period is it that I’m low iron cause I took the wrong iron pills is it some weird thing I’m just constantly like what happened today like the ball game is always changing so slow crazy as I know a lot of other people don’t deal with this everything always changing and I it’s actually frustrating. Sometimes I feel like you can’t commit to anyone or anything or even yourself. Do you know when there’s constantly a war When your food supply is changing your the ground underneath you is shifting and being broken out like a earthquake or a tornado how do you build one that’s constantly happening your shelter so for the extent that all this changes happening today, understand your life doesn’t move along or do you think that is backwards is incredibly frustrating like today if I could do this job in one hour I would’ve done my drag going to the bank so it’s OK. I’ve been ready to meet my friend for dinner I’m like it. I’m walking back and I can make it to my car but on another day it’s a drink coffee and try doing this again Jessica and myself off to bass and sometimes it’s agonizing like a cat and I literally have to lay in my bed because I’m putting some sort of hell between being awake and asleep and then it’s embarrassing because if I’m with my parents or a friend and they see this they just think it’s disgusting and it kind of is but I don’t think I can do much else and I’m even wondering what’s wrong with me and I start wondering do I really have MS or some mitochondrial disorder like you know we call these things ADD bipolar Why we have our names and there’s so much crossover but I don’t think I’m special but I often wonder like things that takes people like your realization that what you’re able to say and not be on your meds, I’m not able to do or sometimes arm you know people seemingly had worse than me are better after a year of in-house therapy and four years later I found myself worse and I’m just like I wonder what’s going on with me I wonder if I should even think about it I don’t know right now I can barely catch my breath and I’m walking on flatland hello run 6 miles a day. Obviously I’ll take breaks it’s not that tired cause I’m running but you get my point.
The best thing for me, though is when you’re on them your life is not ruled by constant hunger, one less variable for a time as they were off I’m pretty ravenous in a pinch. It’s like my stomach me before but my brain chemical hardwired I don’t know what it is it’s not just I need to be doing something with my hands or mouth and I’m like am I trying to get enough water is my friend starving for dopamine or something but I I literally lie in bed Eating low-carb bread strawberries, peanut low carb yogurt back-and-forth you be shocked at how much hell I’m just like oh it’s just nice. Be nice to be normal like not be an addict or at the mercy of everything including food but it is nice when when you take the medication just to not have the urgency of starving Rule your shit oh, the sad Life, Julia,and also
It will be my first time and I am a bit nervous to start. This really helped thank you
do you do meditation?
I don't but I definitely should. It's helped me in the past but I really struggle to make it part of my regular routine so it's currently earmarked as a 'will try again at some point' thing 😅
Hey Rachel, really liking your videos. I started watching them today. You remind me of when I lived in UK.
By the way, you said you didn't want to talk about your rejection sensitivity and I assume it's due to shame around it. Don't feel that shame, it's a trait you can't help without meds, work or both..actually check out the drug "clonadine" I am a pharmacist and whilst this drug is usually an older second or third line blood pressure med, it has been used in ADHD specifically for rejection sensitivity. It might be worth chatting to your doc about it. Best !
Thanks for watching, and for sharing - I'll check that out!
Why was my comment deleted
Another email on pms would be great, also if there's any CBT/DBT exercises you've been given? X
Thanks Cat - I'm definitely keen to say more on PMS! At the moment I'm having general psychotherapy and haven't explored CBT/DBT but I suspect will be helpful in future! Will report back if I do.
Now I need a Hamster 😂
Losing your sense of awe is the methylphenidate girl. It's similar to cocaine minus the crazy component that attaches to your serotonin transmitters. I don't think Concerta is best for women, with all our hormone fluctuations and whatnot - anything low-dose ephedrine is the way to go. Too much and you feel "too much" awe and wonder, even if it ain't there.
Jesus Christ is the meaning of life , believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ & you shall be saved!
Yesss to adulting with a hamster! ❤
THANK YOU. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: one who find adulting with a hamster a confusing and odd situation, and those who understand it's not weird at all 😄
I shit you not 😂😂😂😂
Medicine is a really evil business.
You talk way too fast it’s triggered me 😂