As an adult who aged out of the Foster system I can tell you personally that 9 out of 10 homes are bad full of trauma and abuse of every form not just from the parents but from the other children that belong to those parents I.e the non foster children. I'm so glad that this video has been made but sadly it's not enough coverage, no one ever wants to talk about it even though EVERYONE knows that it's a serious problem and that all these children are growing up traumatized and unable to ask for help because adults won't listen to them. After about the 5th family I stopped telling child services about what was happening to me and each of these families because child services didn't do anything. There were many times a teacher or another adult outside of the home called the cops and reported the abuse and still nothing got done!!
Thank you. I didn’t know this at all and I’m sorry you went through this. I want to help foster children and push to stop workers moving them home from home like luggage.
What are your thoughts of a foster home with no other children and a single person? My hesitation is that I have never raised any children, but have the financial means and desire to help. I am on the fence since making a positive difference is the goal.
My parents died at a young age. My dad died from a heart attack and mom from cancer, I was 9. My whole life changed. I stayed with my Oma (Grandma) but not because of her I had to move back to Australia. Long story cut I was an angry child and family couldn’t deal with my emotions. I don’t blame my relatives I was a devil child. I then went from refuge to refuge and finally I found a home…. 5 yrs later I was set free at 18 yrs old. Life was crazy after that I had many crazy times but I also found a love for music. If not for poetry I think I wouldn’t be here today. My biggest advise is that ITS NEVER TO LATE TO FIND YOURSELF. It’s never to late to feel you finally found your ground. I’m 38 now and its taking me a long time of dealing with anger, lost, insecurity, fear and all that comes with feeling abandoned. It’s never to late. Show kindness and show the world your energy ❤️ you’re not alone. Big Hugs xxx
Thank you for sharing your heart and being vulnerable. I'm so happy to read you are happy and a survivor of such great loss and trauma! You're amazing!!!
I was in 23 foster " homes". The people in these "homes" were rotten. 1 decent one and that didn't work out either. When they couldn't find a "home" to put me in they locked me up in juvenile hall. Thank God "diagnosing" and drugs weren't a very big thing at that time. Except Ritalin which might explain alot. Poor girl having to deal with all the bs of government, foster "homes", AND the utter nonsense of false diagnosis and life ruining drugs. Not to mention missing the good and real life she needs and deserves. Like every other kid should have. The foster system is evil. They are scum. All I ever wanted to do was go home.
At 8 years old, I got taken for no reason, the letter came to my parents years later saying the social services had no authority to take me away. I suffered because child services took me for the money...its sad to say...I didn't get adopted till 16 and then at 17 I got kicked out by my foster mom...I'm 19 and still hurting
I am so sorry to hear that you were taken for not reason! Same here. Actually, my aunts each wanted another child, so they drummed up charges which the court supported. I was not one of the chosen ones, so I had to go to foster homes. After I aged out t 28, I reunited with my parents. So much of growing up with family was destroyed by then. Basically, I have no family relationships now because I don't have a history with them. They are all like strangers to me. I don't really trust any of them as fostering horrors taught me to not trust anyone. Will you be able to find your family?
My mom dropped me in the system at 6 and I spent the 90s in psychiatric placements. All I can say is I'm glad they never put me in foster care. I saw kids go to those families and come back after only a few months so much more screwed up in the head than they were when they left. And the places I was in were really bad.
I've spent my teenage years in the foster system (thankfully out now) and I've come out worse than I already was. I'm always depressed and anxious and on high-alert and it's horrible. I once asked my social worker for therapy and the school and my foster family told her I was faking being mentally ill to avoid doing school work. I waited for almost a year to get therapy only to then find out after I'd left the system, that I wasn't actually on the waiting list for therapy at all because I was supposedly faking. I never trusted social services from the start and I only trusted them less after that.
The foster care system is left to be desired. If people do not help themselves, it is no good. When people want to help themselves and the doors and gates are closed, it is more frustrating. When teenagers age out of the system and there is no job training and no set goals, out of desperation, they will get in with gangs to do drugs, alcohol, criminal activities, be picked up by unsavory people to engage in prostitution, sex slaves,become pregnant with illegitimate children, become jobless, homeless and become the dregs of society. If people want to succeed in life, it is importantthat they get the necessary training in a positive environment in order that they will be able to be focused and concentrate properly. mate
I’m now out of foster care but many of my households were horrible to live in, many I experienced both types of abuse, neglect and worst one for me personally was losing my little brother due to the carelessness of my foster parents at the time. However the final household I’m in now and have lived in for 12 years and am now adopted by them I truely feel like I’ve won the lottery because the chances of having amazing parents is extremely low and not every other foster child will have the same experience, it’s the sad reality of foster care 🙁
I got taken from my loving and caring parents. social services had no right in taking me and my siblings away. They were a few niggles but not enough to warrant me being taken and in the manner they did. Physically dragging me away from my parents and put into the back of a strangers car and being told to live with a complete stranger. They saw a good very close family and decided to tear it to shreds, my siblings are still in the system and even though I’m with my biological parents again I still struggle to accept what has happened. I can relate to a lot of people here and hope we can all recover somehow.
There was a person i knew who was chronically homeless, we had been friends for many years and one day while we were walking our dogs I asked " when was the last time you had a real stable home, not a tent or a rv but like a actual home where you felt safe and grounded that you lived in?" She had to think about it and then she said idk I don't think I ever had that before. I had know she was in foster care and had a troubled relationship with her family, she alway seemed to make really bad decisions even decisions that I thought would be simple or obvious, this video really helps me understand her thought process a bit better. She is a good person, even though she was homeless she was always willing to help me when I needed her to and she wasn't a thief or a untrustworthy person she just was someone who made terrible life choices because she wasn't taught any better, sadly we lost touch after I moved but I think about her every now and again
Complex PTSD that’s what foster care will do to you I lived in 15 different foster homes moved back home several times during that process just to go back to a foster home fight or flight you live in constant fear of survival your emotions are changed either extremely angry or extremely sad not much in the middle like most people your emotions don’t swing very far between the two but when you grow up in foster care your thermostat is broken it doesn’t stay at 72° its wings from below zero to over 100° without much in the middle story of my life
Yes. This is true. I’m a foster kid that got adopted. I was moved multiple times. I’m adopted, but I still have problems and it effects me. I changed so much. I think that I’m different... and I always think about why I was moved so many times... and I always think it’s my fault..
Its NOT your fault! Idk your story but everybody has one. You are a valuable child of the One Who created the universe Our dear Lord. Look up and hold your head high no matter what.
@@kerieannad1900 I do not have snap or Insta or even FB...haha I became a hermit after some bad instances on www trusting people and sharing information. I'm not qualified to offer advice other than have FAITH always . He answers in His time. What appears a rejection today appears to have been a blessing in the future. When I was used and pushed aside He dried my eyes. 'God will make a way' by Don Moen a song to get you through the darkest nights. Best 2u!!!
Are you an adult now? I'm an attorney for foster kids, and I'm interested to know if you have an opinion on how you attorneys can better help and understand foster kids.
About time parents face the effects of children......I was in kids home and foster home....really made me feel very unloved as a young person. As an adult I made many bad choices and suffer mental health. STOP BREEDING IF YOU CANT BE A LOVING RESPONISIBLE PROTECTIVE PARENT.!!!!!!!
@@elijahjackson3585 Not all foster care placements are due to bad parenting. Some are due to death of parents or illness of parents. But the children are also abused in the system.
I have really come to believe that group homes, in an orphanage style, are much better that the foster care system in the US and Canada. Children that grow up in group homes have more stability. They can grow attached to peers, carers, teachers… their new beds, new smells, tastes, etc… They are not moved time after time, and if they get to go back to their family and then placed back into de system, at least they get to go back to the same place, the same people they are already attached to.
I was in care for 17 years. I'm now 23 diagonsed with Attachment disorder, Depression, schizophrenia and Alcohol misuse disorder. My placement was my first and only home, then something changed when I turned 16 and it's been a downward spiral ever since.
i was taken at about the age of 1 and no it wasn't to abuse or anything it was that my bio mother could have kids and my little sister was the limit. I have been through like 6 homes and i have been with the 6th home for a long time from when i was about 2. I'm now 14 and i was told all this when i was about 10 and that is when my life turned around. I don't want this to look like attention or anything i just felt that this video related so much for me.
i grew up in foster care 40 homes first went at the age of 6 months. im now 26 i have done so much thearpy and medication i honestly think ill never be ok. i try hard to make good choices but i act like im 13.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that shit. I have somebody very close to me who grew up in the system and I am trying to learn more about the effect this life has on her. I hope things are going better for you.
i feel like im not wanted. my mum didn’t want me , my dad didn’t want me, friends at school don’t want me and the care system didn’t care enough to do anything. im so depressed but ive never been taught what it is to just want something
Jesus wants you and He loves you!!! Learn of Him and you will see that I am telling you the best news you have ever heard. I am an adult who spent her childhood in foster care. I was abused emotionally, physically and sexually. I had low self esteem and issues of never fitting in with anyone. I can tell you that Jesus Christ, changed everything in my life. I am free and I am an overcomer and you can be one also.
As a person who was in foster care(my biological dad lied to the police about my mum abusing me) for half a year,I will admit that I always put a happy face on but deep down I hated it.
You've got this. I had 7+ homes when I was growing up, ended up with cptsd. find , explore and keep your passions and keep them close as your own as it's so easy to lose your identity while dealing with the turmoil. You are not to blame, you are not Inferior to your peers, you are not selfish for doing things to care for yourself, you are not bad or unlovable. Know that past instability doesn't mean you can never be safe. I'm 10 years into a relationship , with a safe home , and I still ask my partner 'am I safe? Is this going to stay?' And I'm slowly believing him. Sending hugs.
@@courtneyhowe8832 it can be for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it doesn’t work out they either get kicked out or the child speaks up about something that isn’t supposed to be occurring, abuse, SA, etc…
@@courtneyhowe8832 In my case, the first one only lasted 7 days, 3 of those waiting for them to come get him. Aggressiveness, property destruction, disrespect, constant defiance of even the minimal decisions, wanting constant attention and not giving me any space, escalating at every step, several times a day. It just drains you. I tried one teenager I was doing respite for a month while they looked for a placement. She behaved so good I decided to keep her long term but as soon as we made it official the daily bad behavior started. Constantly, for no reason. Disrespect, not following rules, demands, harassment. It just drains you. During trainings they tell you their behavioral problema are due to trauma and we are supposed to put up with all because they have good reason for doing it and it will pass after a few months and they are just testing you. I have not been able to endure. I live by myself and have no support or help. I gave up on being a long term Placement. I am doing respite only now. I have been licensed for 2.5 years.
@@lauracampa1838 if you can’t provide the support needed then perhaps you shouldn’t be fostering . It’s not just about providing them with a roof over their heads and food, you need to take them to therapy, patience, and understanding.
From age 1 to 6 the abuse by parents and then put in Foster Care abused by potential Foster Care parents who want money and use this system to do so with no care for the children they take in. This is how my Complex Post Traumatic Disorder started. It only got worse and even after being adopted. My brother and I were dumb downed, shamed, and treated like embarrassment black sheep that added on to the emotional and psychological abuse and they still act like they aren't part of the reason I have CPTSD. Then I was bulled physically, psychologically and emotionally in school, teachers turned a blind eye after all that I lost faith and trust in all people and became numb to this world and the people in my life for not protecting and being there for me. 39 years late sounds, smells and people who resemble or part of the cause for my Complex Post Traumatic Disorder I have panic attacks, night terrors and CPTSD attacks and its been an up hill battle to get through each week as a Survivor of CPTSD. I'd never wish anyone child to go through what I did. People think something is wrong with you for having PTSD/CPTSD when they refuse to understand humans were the cause all these 39 years. I have fear of triggers going outside of my house cause of it, its destroyed my ability to work and feel safe going anywhere outside of home where lots of people are its not fair to me and other kids who suffer this at early childhood and teen years that could have all been prevented. Adults are the key in preventing PTSD/CPTSD of a child as they grow up. If you can't ve a fit and good parent get yourself sterilized and don't have kids, no child should suffer because of unfit parents. Not all disabled adults are horrible abusive parents and deserve right to have kids, as it has been proven what is considered 'normal well looking outside of home parents' can be the ones as abusers towards their children.
Exactly!! Exactly!! You are well-spoken! Current and former foster children need your voice!! I was in foster-careless homes 10 years and also have PTSD. I stayed isolated fearing that teachers and classmates would discover that I was a foster child. As an adult, I stay isolated. I see too many people who either look like, act like, or sound like the abusive foster-careless people who had me. I also see parents treating their children carelessly which makes me feel ill. The State's FAILURE to monitor the children they take has caused lasting social difficulties in children who often end up in prison as adults. It takes a community to raise a child? "Community" fails because they don't care about the foster children's lives, they only care about cash flow from the FED to the STATE. The children are used, abused, and thrown to the end of the line. Scrambled and mangled and thrown again to the end of the line. It will come back to the "Community" one day. Look at the cost of removing the child.
So very true.i now suffer cptsd as an adult now. I do get you and understand your issues from all that.i have it Atwell now.im glad I found and read your post comment on this subject.im Nancy from Florida nice to meet you.i would love to text chat sometime if u wouldn't mind.i was also in the fostercare system my younger brother n I at very young early childhood. And even suffered more long after.im new to my trauma issues and suffer fibromyalgia chronic pain issues for 5 years now from my past life childhood and early 29s adulthood.i could us a freind to talk to about this from like u someone who can understand me..huggs to u hope your doing very well.thx
I'm impressed with how well the girl interviewed carries herself. She's clearly got strong emotional intelligence, which will serve her well. Very impressive.
According to study results, mothers who lost custody of a child to foster care experienced significantly higher rates of depression, substance use, physician visits for mental illness, and prescriptions of psychotropic medications compared to mothers surviving the death of a child. Interpreting these results, authors suggest the disproportionate share of mental health burden among women with children in foster care is likely a reflection of lower social support and a lack of social acknowledgment of grief following this form of loss.
I really empathise with kids who have been through the system. Remember though that social workers have to weigh this damage up against the potential damage of NOT moving kids in some circumstances. Much love to you all
As a 19 year old who is now currently back at my Mother’s house I still feel depressed and anxious because my mother has been messed up by the system and so have I and she has gotten toxic since I came back. Our relationship has been destroyed. It is crazy. The foster mother I have is no help and she is loving and has been good to me. This is the third home I’ve been in to that was good to me but it was just time to move on. I didn’t like it there as much it got boring and depressing there.
There's alot of very evil corrupt social workers and Foster parents out there and quite alot of the guardian ad litems are just as evil and bias aswell from experience alone I know how bad the system is
One of my friends who’s a guy, got married to someone who grew out of the foster care system and over time she has blocked every person from his family and friends, told lies about them. It’s gotten so bad that she randomly blocked me. So I came here to understand why she would do that. She probably has abandonment issues, and maybe she thinks someone will steal the only person who actually loves her? I’m still learning. I want to make sure my friend is safe with her because that’s toxic to tell someone who they can and can’t be around, or else.. anyone got any ideas? I’m trying to learn and be patient.
Yeah she definetly have trauma from this I suggest her own husband to take her to a doctor for help I think she only trust him so if he suggest it then I think she would accept the help she needs, if she doesn't then it gonna affect her more she's already a possesive person and I'm afraid she can be harmful in the future
Did you come here for some understanding? I grew out of the system also, so here is my perspective: First, the "someone" has a name.... or we can call her Mrs. Sunflower. Because Mrs. Sunflower grew up in foster homes under the control of deceitful and abusive non-relatives, she can recognize them in an instant no matter where she is. For starters, does that help? Mrs. Sunflower would rather not be in contact with those types of people, so she shuns them, runs from them, hides from them, and in this day, she can block them. Mr. Sunshine as an adult can communicate with his family and friends if he chooses but again, he may be under the control of a narcissist (not likely). He then is the one who needs to learn the truth of HIS relationships. All you can do is plant a seed by telling him that there is help if he needs it and where to find that help. Otherwise, stay calm and don't tell lies about her.
I lived in the system for a year and a half when I was 14 and 15. Before I was sent to live with family out of state. In that year and a half I was in 22 homes 18 of which I was abused bye the foster parents and or their kids I reported most of them however there was never an investigation in to any of my reports except for the 1st one. The social workers would rather send you to a new home rather then have to deal with potentially losing a home as there are not enough foster home for the number of kids in the system and they don’t feel they can afford to Lose even one. Most faster parents are not the good people that the ordinary public makes them out to be I have seen it first hand. The system set theses kids up to fail in life from not financially supporting them when I ago out leading them to live on the streets and not being able to get an education. Some employers won’t even hire a foster child witch makes it even harder when we age out. To all the foster children in the system and those that have found a loving family or have aged out I am praying for you all and wish you the best of luck in life. You are all my brothers sisters of the system see you on the flip side.
Why not focus on what causes the original instability to begin with. Adoptees and foster kids beget more foster kids and adoptees. So if you find ways to heal these families and actually enforce child support and give adoptees a national cost of living stipend to compensate for the income disparity between us and people who actually had stability from egg to 18. Then you don't have nearly as many foster situations at all.
My foster mom Debbie is evil and venomous because she doesn't care about me because I was abused by them. I never had love and attention or respect from anyone in my family
Why are they allowed to legally kidnap our kids? My son for pot and truancy? They destroyed his life.... AND RETURNED HIM HOME.WITH AN APOLOGY. CASE WORKER ADMITTED HE DESTROYED MY SONS LIFE AND QUIT WORKING THERE BCUS IF DESTROYING FAMILIIES
@@veronicabateman1584 I have a petition and each state needs to start one so foster kids are allowed in the courts to report their abuse and seek justice.
Now we have had 2 babies girls that we have had since June of 2020. One was 12 months other was 2 months. Mom on meth, dad not in picture, kids tested positive for meth and pot. Well both parents have not done anything no jobs , no classes, got no house, mom in motels, dad lives with parents cause he supposedly slow in the head. Dad on parole, failed every drug test past 17 months, hair folicle and urine. Mother had failed first few than clean but she was only doing urine, judge said do hair folicle well she passed urine failed folicle high doses of pot and cocaine in her system and she 7 months pregnant again, so never learned, the dad has another girl pregnant as well and her kids removed from her due to abuse by cps. The dad dontvwant baby said no bond with her he only want the older daughter mad that clear whole time including our last 2 court hearing most recent being month ago. The grandpa has 2 counts of terrorism threats, 4 threats with a gun, 3 accounts of trying to run over the babies mother , there home got denied home study due to his violent history and said girls can not live there. But yet here we are judge recommended over night visits unsupervised 2 times a week with the dad and his parents. Month in to this , the older one is beating up on the baby, she has came home, cuts, brusies, a knot on her little head , comes to us dirty , starving and thirsty, she literally stuffs her mouth and chokes on food and water first day back with us from visits, the older one is feed , in clean clothes ,hair done up. Monitor sees it notes it down, this last visit the dad sent there backpack back to use with 2 sets of clothes covered in urine not washed soaked and wet , they could not even wash the dam clothes, you can tell they Hitting the baby cause she has started flinching and ducking anytime someone makes movements, she never done that , she won't sleep at night cries everything me or wife step out of room, she won't let us go, just hangs onto us, cries and hangs onto wife and Monitor don't want to go to the dads, the older one we got to watch like a hawk now cause as soon as you turn your back she trying to push the baby down, take things away from her, trying to gouge at her eyes, pulling her hair, and fucking pisses me off that this baby getting abused and neglected over there cps knows it caseworker knows it but all they say is write it down . We got court this Friday again caseworker said may extend case might give them to the dad that same day don't know. If they do the destroying the babies life, especially little one, she getting abused, neglected for WHAT cause they only want the older one and if they say they don't want baby they could loose both , so say I want both just to keep older one and abuse the baby . This baby only knows my wife and I as they parents, she the sweatiest thing you ever seen and known. Hugs and kisses all day long always smiling but these visits have been so hard on her tiny heart. And we got these girls through new horizon as well in abiline tx. Caseworker is tony. He ain't worth a shit he has lied in court and covers for the mother as well. They pushing these girls out just to open our home up again .
Take my son from school knowing I'm not letting them take him and he would fight to the death to take him away from his mama. They didnt even ask if he had medication? Which they already knew and documented. Especially when reason was er visit from school when teacher thought his panic attack was a seizure and called 911. Bcus against his IEP he was taking a test without assistance as another fight broke out in his classroom. .... I can write a book about his abuse...
I think I do know the feeling I was abandoned at 5:00 I was raised in the office but the process of me getting to the orphanage I had to say with a social worker for about two weeks I guess until they found the placement for me it was supposed to have been a Christian home I went through terrible abuse you name it we went through it and I was raised with close to 180 kids we all were damaged but if there's any consolation of this those people are in hell today.
Helen, you have EVERY right to express this and I hope you use your voice to go to your local representatives and bring awareness to what you experienced and advocate for the vulnerable children and teens!!
Been in over 30 foster home had my daughter in foster care at 15 foster care isn’t shit don’t help and really tore my family apart more then what is was when my mom was on drugs
I was put in care age 7 i believe? I started moving within family age 3 though. I sufferd neglect, abuse and i have autism. Im now at an age where im processing my trauma and its really difficult becuase i get in trouble for being upset and i hzve ti just pretend im ok. Honestly, most ofthe time i just want to kms.
I was a foster child, several times, repeatedly throughout my childhood. Many homes. The solution to healing is relying on the Lord. I have managed to obtain my Bachelor’s, establish a small business and grow my own family with 7 children. You can overcome with the help of the Lord 🕊
Someone please tell me can i take my child bk from care home at sixteen shes going den hill i have a home she lived at she wants to come home can they take her bk ???? Please advise as Reading this is shocking
Right. I'm a foster parent. I'm pouring myself into these kids and loving and raising them alongside and exactly like my bio kids. There are wonderful foster homes out there! We didn't create the brokenness of the families these kids come from, and we can't fix it. But we can walk alongside these kids, shelter them, show them a loving family life. I don't know any other workable alternative.
I was in care and you believe what they did to me isolated me from the world I wasn't allowed a girl friend I would have to leave my house get the bus 45mins to Edinburgh thn time the next bus well coach for just under 5 hours to fort William thn the man who was ment to be looking after me he would drive me another hour to his island yeah island then I had to get a boat well his boat to the other side of the loch to where he lived it totally messed with my head and I had to do this every week I felt like I was so different to everyone not good enough and totally failed by the system if you want to know more if I get enough views say 5 or more I will continue to expose the truth I have loads of trauma and all I wanted was just to be normal❤and peace out guys
@@HatRatt I was asking for God to Bless the foster care system, things can CHANGE through Prayer. There is no use in just complaining, cursing and bantering about things.
As an adult who aged out of the Foster system I can tell you personally that 9 out of 10 homes are bad full of trauma and abuse of every form not just from the parents but from the other children that belong to those parents I.e the non foster children. I'm so glad that this video has been made but sadly it's not enough coverage, no one ever wants to talk about it even though EVERYONE knows that it's a serious problem and that all these children are growing up traumatized and unable to ask for help because adults won't listen to them. After about the 5th family I stopped telling child services about what was happening to me and each of these families because child services didn't do anything. There were many times a teacher or another adult outside of the home called the cops and reported the abuse and still nothing got done!!
I.aged out of the system I was in 17 Foster homes and 2.care homes
Liked: no one ever wants to talk about it even though EVERYONE knows that it's a SERIOUS problem
Yeah even with group hopes the « trained » professionals abuse and neglect a lot too
Thank you. I didn’t know this at all and I’m sorry you went through this. I want to help foster children and push to stop workers moving them home from home like luggage.
What are your thoughts of a foster home with no other children and a single person? My hesitation is that I have never raised any children, but have the financial means and desire to help. I am on the fence since making a positive difference is the goal.
My parents died at a young age. My dad died from a heart attack and mom from cancer, I was 9. My whole life changed. I stayed with my Oma (Grandma) but not because of her I had to move back to Australia. Long story cut I was an angry child and family couldn’t deal with my emotions. I don’t blame my relatives I was a devil child. I then went from refuge to refuge and finally I found a home…. 5 yrs later I was set free at 18 yrs old. Life was crazy after that I had many crazy times but I also found a love for music. If not for poetry I think I wouldn’t be here today.
My biggest advise is that ITS NEVER TO LATE TO FIND YOURSELF. It’s never to late to feel you finally found your ground. I’m 38 now and its taking me a long time of dealing with anger, lost, insecurity, fear and all that comes with feeling abandoned. It’s never to late. Show kindness and show the world your energy ❤️ you’re not alone.
Big Hugs xxx
Thank you for sharing your heart and being vulnerable. I'm so happy to read you are happy and a survivor of such great loss and trauma! You're amazing!!!
I was in 23 foster " homes". The people in these "homes" were rotten. 1 decent one and that didn't work out either. When they couldn't find a "home" to put me in they locked me up in juvenile hall. Thank God "diagnosing" and drugs weren't a very big thing at that time. Except Ritalin which might explain alot. Poor girl having to deal with all the bs of government, foster "homes", AND the utter nonsense of false diagnosis and life ruining drugs. Not to mention missing the good and real life she needs and deserves. Like every other kid should have. The foster system is evil. They are scum. All I ever wanted to do was go home.
At 8 years old, I got taken for no reason, the letter came to my parents years later saying the social services had no authority to take me away. I suffered because child services took me for the money...its sad to say...I didn't get adopted till 16 and then at 17 I got kicked out by my foster mom...I'm 19 and still hurting
I am so sorry to hear that you were taken for not reason! Same here. Actually, my aunts each wanted another child, so they drummed up charges which the court supported. I was not one of the chosen ones, so I had to go to foster homes. After I aged out t 28, I reunited with my parents. So much of growing up with family was destroyed by then. Basically, I have no family relationships now because I don't have a history with them. They are all like strangers to me. I don't really trust any of them as fostering horrors taught me to not trust anyone.
Will you be able to find your family?
Sorry, that was aged out at 18.
@@HatRatt I did find my family but it's not the same
Know that you are not alone and let go of all those tribulations and face them with courage...
Why were you kicked out?
My mom dropped me in the system at 6 and I spent the 90s in psychiatric placements. All I can say is I'm glad they never put me in foster care. I saw kids go to those families and come back after only a few months so much more screwed up in the head than they were when they left. And the places I was in were really bad.
I've spent my teenage years in the foster system (thankfully out now) and I've come out worse than I already was. I'm always depressed and anxious and on high-alert and it's horrible. I once asked my social worker for therapy and the school and my foster family told her I was faking being mentally ill to avoid doing school work. I waited for almost a year to get therapy only to then find out after I'd left the system, that I wasn't actually on the waiting list for therapy at all because I was supposedly faking. I never trusted social services from the start and I only trusted them less after that.
The foster care system is left to be desired. If people do not help themselves, it is no good. When people want to help themselves and the doors and gates are closed, it is more frustrating. When teenagers age out of the system and there is no job training and no set goals, out of desperation, they will get in with gangs to do drugs, alcohol, criminal activities, be picked up by unsavory people to engage in prostitution, sex slaves,become pregnant with illegitimate children, become jobless, homeless and become the dregs of society. If people want to succeed in life, it is importantthat they get the necessary training in a positive environment in order that they will be able to be focused and concentrate properly.
mate
I’m now out of foster care but many of my households were horrible to live in, many I experienced both types of abuse, neglect and worst one for me personally was losing my little brother due to the carelessness of my foster parents at the time. However the final household I’m in now and have lived in for 12 years and am now adopted by them I truely feel like I’ve won the lottery because the chances of having amazing parents is extremely low and not every other foster child will have the same experience, it’s the sad reality of foster care 🙁
I got taken from my loving and caring parents. social services had no right in taking me and my siblings away. They were a few niggles but not enough to warrant me being taken and in the manner they did. Physically dragging me away from my parents and put into the back of a strangers car and being told to live with a complete stranger. They saw a good very close family and decided to tear it to shreds, my siblings are still in the system and even though I’m with my biological parents again I still struggle to accept what has happened. I can relate to a lot of people here and hope we can all recover somehow.
There was a person i knew who was chronically homeless, we had been friends for many years and one day while we were walking our dogs I asked " when was the last time you had a real stable home, not a tent or a rv but like a actual home where you felt safe and grounded that you lived in?" She had to think about it and then she said idk I don't think I ever had that before. I had know she was in foster care and had a troubled relationship with her family, she alway seemed to make really bad decisions even decisions that I thought would be simple or obvious, this video really helps me understand her thought process a bit better. She is a good person, even though she was homeless she was always willing to help me when I needed her to and she wasn't a thief or a untrustworthy person she just was someone who made terrible life choices because she wasn't taught any better, sadly we lost touch after I moved but I think about her every now and again
Complex PTSD that’s what foster care will do to you I lived in 15 different foster homes moved back home several times during that process just to go back to a foster home fight or flight you live in constant fear of survival your emotions are changed either extremely angry or extremely sad not much in the middle like most people your emotions don’t swing very far between the two but when you grow up in foster care your thermostat is broken it doesn’t stay at 72° its wings from below zero to over 100° without much in the middle story of my life
Yes. This is true. I’m a foster kid that got adopted. I was moved multiple times. I’m adopted, but I still have problems and it effects me. I changed so much. I think that I’m different... and I always think about why I was moved so many times... and I always think it’s my fault..
Its NOT your fault! Idk your story but everybody has one. You are a valuable child of the One Who created the universe Our dear Lord. Look up and hold your head high no matter what.
Gayle Vas thank you! If you have snap or insta I can give it out and then maybe I’ll tell you what happened so you know. My snap is @kdrakelowman8
@@kerieannad1900 I do not have snap or Insta or even FB...haha I became a hermit after some bad instances on www trusting people and sharing information. I'm not qualified to offer advice other than have FAITH always . He answers in His time. What appears a rejection today appears to have been a blessing in the future.
When I was used and pushed aside He dried my eyes. 'God will make a way' by Don Moen a song to get you through the darkest nights. Best 2u!!!
Are you an adult now? I'm an attorney for foster kids, and I'm interested to know if you have an opinion on how you attorneys can better help and understand foster kids.
Never the childs fault.NEVER!!!!
About time parents face the effects of children......I was in kids home and foster home....really made me feel very unloved as a young person.
As an adult I made many bad choices and suffer mental health.
STOP BREEDING IF YOU CANT BE A LOVING RESPONISIBLE PROTECTIVE PARENT.!!!!!!!
For real
@@elijahjackson3585 Not all foster care placements are due to bad parenting. Some are due to death of parents or illness of parents. But the children are also abused in the system.
@@HatRatt Most foster care placements are the result of incompetent people squeezing out babies when they should not have done that.
Say it louder for the people in the back specifically my mother
in a constant state of fight or flight.
Preach
I have really come to believe that group homes, in an orphanage style, are much better that the foster care system in the US and Canada. Children that grow up in group homes have more stability. They can grow attached to peers, carers, teachers… their new beds, new smells, tastes, etc… They are not moved time after time, and if they get to go back to their family and then placed back into de system, at least they get to go back to the same place, the same people they are already attached to.
Finally the truth
Thank you
Yes I agree.
Same I agree
I was in care for 17 years. I'm now 23 diagonsed with Attachment disorder, Depression, schizophrenia and Alcohol misuse disorder.
My placement was my first and only home, then something changed when I turned 16 and it's been a downward spiral ever since.
What a strong young lady! So sorry that happens.
I like how ur foster parents tell u to trust them when ur gonna move there's honestly no point of trusting them
i was taken at about the age of 1 and no it wasn't to abuse or anything it was that my bio mother could have kids and my little sister was the limit. I have been through like 6 homes and i have been with the 6th home for a long time from when i was about 2. I'm now 14 and i was told all this when i was about 10 and that is when my life turned around. I don't want this to look like attention or anything i just felt that this video related so much for me.
God bless you, beautiful young lady. You deserved so much more. Prayers for your future.
i grew up in foster care 40 homes first went at the age of 6 months. im now 26 i have done so much thearpy and medication i honestly think ill never be ok. i try hard to make good choices but i act like im 13.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that shit. I have somebody very close to me who grew up in the system and I am trying to learn more about the effect this life has on her. I hope things are going better for you.
God bless this girl. She’s beautiful and God loves you
I am 35 and still struggling I been thru 12 foster homes and 2 opranges homes .
i feel like im not wanted. my mum didn’t want me , my dad didn’t want me, friends at school don’t want me and the care system didn’t care enough to do anything. im so depressed but ive never been taught what it is to just want something
Oh sweetheart :( that's horrible
@@PrincessDie187 im fine now bru I was going THROUGH it that day😭😭 tysm
Jesus wants you and He loves you!!! Learn of Him and you will see that I am telling you the best news you have ever heard. I am an adult who spent her childhood in foster care. I was abused emotionally, physically and sexually. I had low self esteem and issues of never fitting in with anyone. I can tell you that Jesus Christ, changed everything in my life. I am free and I am an overcomer and you can be one also.
As a person who was in foster care(my biological dad lied to the police about my mum abusing me) for half a year,I will admit that I always put a happy face on but deep down I hated it.
I got put into at least 5 different placements in the past 3 years, I’m so lost 😪
You've got this. I had 7+ homes when I was growing up, ended up with cptsd. find , explore and keep your passions and keep them close as your own as it's so easy to lose your identity while dealing with the turmoil. You are not to blame, you are not Inferior to your peers, you are not selfish for doing things to care for yourself, you are not bad or unlovable. Know that past instability doesn't mean you can never be safe. I'm 10 years into a relationship , with a safe home , and I still ask my partner 'am I safe? Is this going to stay?' And I'm slowly believing him. Sending hugs.
Why are foster kids moved so much? Did the foster parents say time to go or did you ask to leave? I’m thinking about fostering.
@@courtneyhowe8832 it can be for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it doesn’t work out they either get kicked out or the child speaks up about something that isn’t supposed to be occurring, abuse, SA, etc…
@@courtneyhowe8832 In my case, the first one only lasted 7 days, 3 of those waiting for them to come get him. Aggressiveness, property destruction, disrespect, constant defiance of even the minimal decisions, wanting constant attention and not giving me any space, escalating at every step, several times a day. It just drains you.
I tried one teenager I was doing respite for a month while they looked for a placement. She behaved so good I decided to keep her long term but as soon as we made it official the daily bad behavior started. Constantly, for no reason. Disrespect, not following rules, demands, harassment. It just drains you. During trainings they tell you their behavioral problema are due to trauma and we are supposed to put up with all because they have good reason for doing it and it will pass after a few months and they are just testing you. I have not been able to endure. I live by myself and have no support or help. I gave up on being a long term
Placement. I am doing respite only now. I have been licensed for 2.5 years.
@@lauracampa1838 if you can’t provide the support needed then perhaps you shouldn’t be fostering . It’s not just about providing them with a roof over their heads and food, you need to take them to therapy, patience, and understanding.
Definitely, I feel like my brain is impaired
From age 1 to 6 the abuse by parents and then put in Foster Care abused by potential Foster Care parents who want money and use this system to do so with no care for the children they take in. This is how my Complex Post Traumatic Disorder started. It only got worse and even after being adopted. My brother and I were dumb downed, shamed, and treated like embarrassment black sheep that added on to the emotional and psychological abuse and they still act like they aren't part of the reason I have CPTSD. Then I was bulled physically, psychologically and emotionally in school, teachers turned a blind eye after all that I lost faith and trust in all people and became numb to this world and the people in my life for not protecting and being there for me. 39 years late sounds, smells and people who resemble or part of the cause for my Complex Post Traumatic Disorder I have panic attacks, night terrors and CPTSD attacks and its been an up hill battle to get through each week as a Survivor of CPTSD. I'd never wish anyone child to go through what I did. People think something is wrong with you for having PTSD/CPTSD when they refuse to understand humans were the cause all these 39 years. I have fear of triggers going outside of my house cause of it, its destroyed my ability to work and feel safe going anywhere outside of home where lots of people are its not fair to me and other kids who suffer this at early childhood and teen years that could have all been prevented.
Adults are the key in preventing PTSD/CPTSD of a child as they grow up. If you can't ve a fit and good parent get yourself sterilized and don't have kids, no child should suffer because of unfit parents. Not all disabled adults are horrible abusive parents and deserve right to have kids, as it has been proven what is considered 'normal well looking outside of home parents' can be the ones as abusers towards their children.
Exactly!! Exactly!! You are well-spoken! Current and former foster children need your voice!! I was in foster-careless homes 10 years and also have PTSD. I stayed isolated fearing that teachers and classmates would discover that I was a foster child. As an adult, I stay isolated. I see too many people who either look like, act like, or sound like the abusive foster-careless people who had me. I also see parents treating their children carelessly which makes me feel ill. The State's FAILURE to monitor the children they take has caused lasting social difficulties in children who often end up in prison as adults. It takes a community to raise a child? "Community" fails because they don't care about the foster children's lives, they only care about cash flow from the FED to the STATE. The children are used, abused, and thrown to the end of the line. Scrambled and mangled and thrown again to the end of the line. It will come back to the "Community" one day. Look at the cost of removing the child.
So very true.i now suffer cptsd as an adult now. I do get you and understand your issues from all that.i have it Atwell now.im glad I found and read your post comment on this subject.im Nancy from Florida nice to meet you.i would love to text chat sometime if u wouldn't mind.i was also in the fostercare system my younger brother n I at very young early childhood. And even suffered more long after.im new to my trauma issues and suffer fibromyalgia chronic pain issues for 5 years now from my past life childhood and early 29s adulthood.i could us a freind to talk to about this from like u someone who can understand me..huggs to u hope your doing very well.thx
I'm impressed with how well the girl interviewed carries herself. She's clearly got strong emotional intelligence, which will serve her well. Very impressive.
According to study results, mothers who lost custody of a child to foster care experienced significantly higher rates of depression, substance use, physician visits for mental illness, and prescriptions of psychotropic medications compared to mothers surviving the death of a child. Interpreting these results, authors suggest the disproportionate share of mental health burden among women with children in foster care is likely a reflection of lower social support and a lack of social acknowledgment of grief following this form of loss.
United States owe foster care adults an kids who suffered threw events as kids in states custody
I really empathise with kids who have been through the system.
Remember though that social workers have to weigh this damage up against the potential damage of NOT moving kids in some circumstances.
Much love to you all
In my experience this is rarely the case. Often I see kids get moved from good homes due to race and not the actual well being of the child.
The social workers deserve no empathy.
As a 19 year old who is now currently back at my Mother’s house I still feel depressed and anxious because my mother has been messed up by the system and so have I and she has gotten toxic since I came back. Our relationship has been destroyed. It is crazy. The foster mother I have is no help and she is loving and has been good to me. This is the third home I’ve been in to that was good to me but it was just time to move on. I didn’t like it there as much it got boring and depressing there.
Hi. I'm very sorry to hear of your experience
There's alot of very evil corrupt social workers and Foster parents out there and quite alot of the guardian ad litems are just as evil and bias aswell from experience alone I know how bad the system is
One of my friends who’s a guy, got married to someone who grew out of the foster care system and over time she has blocked every person from his family and friends, told lies about them. It’s gotten so bad that she randomly blocked me.
So I came here to understand why she would do that. She probably has abandonment issues, and maybe she thinks someone will steal the only person who actually loves her? I’m still learning. I want to make sure my friend is safe with her because that’s toxic to tell someone who they can and can’t be around, or else.. anyone got any ideas? I’m trying to learn and be patient.
Yeah she definetly have trauma from this I suggest her own husband to take her to a doctor for help I think she only trust him so if he suggest it then I think she would accept the help she needs, if she doesn't then it gonna affect her more she's already a possesive person and I'm afraid she can be harmful in the future
Did you come here for some understanding? I grew out of the system also, so here is my perspective: First, the "someone" has a name.... or we can call her Mrs. Sunflower. Because Mrs. Sunflower grew up in foster homes under the control of deceitful and abusive non-relatives, she can recognize them in an instant no matter where she is. For starters, does that help? Mrs. Sunflower would rather not be in contact with those types of people, so she shuns them, runs from them, hides from them, and in this day, she can block them. Mr. Sunshine as an adult can communicate with his family and friends if he chooses but again, he may be under the control of a narcissist (not likely). He then is the one who needs to learn the truth of HIS relationships. All you can do is plant a seed by telling him that there is help if he needs it and where to find that help. Otherwise, stay calm and don't tell lies about her.
I lived in the system for a year and a half when I was 14 and 15. Before I was sent to live with family out of state. In that year and a half I was in 22 homes 18 of which I was abused bye the foster parents and or their kids I reported most of them however there was never an investigation in to any of my reports except for the 1st one. The social workers would rather send you to a new home rather then have to deal with potentially losing a home as there are not enough foster home for the number of kids in the system and they don’t feel they can afford to Lose even one. Most faster parents are not the good people that the ordinary public makes them out to be I have seen it first hand. The system set theses kids up to fail in life from not financially supporting them when I ago out leading them to live on the streets and not being able to get an education. Some employers won’t even hire a foster child witch makes it even harder when we age out. To all the foster children in the system and those that have found a loving family or have aged out I am praying for you all and wish you the best of luck in life. You are all my brothers sisters of the system see you on the flip side.
They all blame us but it's them they don't make it any easier 😭😭
Every time I don't get accepted into a group home or a foster home my caseworker always blames me😢
Why not focus on what causes the original instability to begin with. Adoptees and foster kids beget more foster kids and adoptees. So if you find ways to heal these families and actually enforce child support and give adoptees a national cost of living stipend to compensate for the income disparity between us and people who actually had stability from egg to 18. Then you don't have nearly as many foster situations at all.
My foster mom Debbie is evil and venomous because she doesn't care about me because I was abused by them. I never had love and attention or respect from anyone in my family
Why are they allowed to legally kidnap our kids?
My son for pot and truancy?
They destroyed his life.... AND RETURNED HIM HOME.WITH AN APOLOGY.
CASE WORKER ADMITTED HE DESTROYED MY SONS LIFE AND QUIT WORKING THERE BCUS IF DESTROYING FAMILIIES
Finally the truth spoken 😔
Very true I was in foster care system to no good SS needs to change but they won't money is more important to them
Great documentary
This is awesome. Finally. Are we coming out to the world. Will foster kids finally expose what happened.
@@veronicabateman1584 I have a petition and each state needs to start one so foster kids are allowed in the courts to report their abuse and seek justice.
Now we have had 2 babies girls that we have had since June of 2020. One was 12 months other was 2 months. Mom on meth, dad not in picture, kids tested positive for meth and pot. Well both parents have not done anything no jobs , no classes, got no house, mom in motels, dad lives with parents cause he supposedly slow in the head. Dad on parole, failed every drug test past 17 months, hair folicle and urine. Mother had failed first few than clean but she was only doing urine, judge said do hair folicle well she passed urine failed folicle high doses of pot and cocaine in her system and she 7 months pregnant again, so never learned, the dad has another girl pregnant as well and her kids removed from her due to abuse by cps. The dad dontvwant baby said no bond with her he only want the older daughter mad that clear whole time including our last 2 court hearing most recent being month ago. The grandpa has 2 counts of terrorism threats, 4 threats with a gun, 3 accounts of trying to run over the babies mother , there home got denied home study due to his violent history and said girls can not live there. But yet here we are judge recommended over night visits unsupervised 2 times a week with the dad and his parents. Month in to this , the older one is beating up on the baby, she has came home, cuts, brusies, a knot on her little head , comes to us dirty , starving and thirsty, she literally stuffs her mouth and chokes on food and water first day back with us from visits, the older one is feed , in clean clothes ,hair done up. Monitor sees it notes it down, this last visit the dad sent there backpack back to use with 2 sets of clothes covered in urine not washed soaked and wet , they could not even wash the dam clothes, you can tell they Hitting the baby cause she has started flinching and ducking anytime someone makes movements, she never done that , she won't sleep at night cries everything me or wife step out of room, she won't let us go, just hangs onto us, cries and hangs onto wife and Monitor don't want to go to the dads, the older one we got to watch like a hawk now cause as soon as you turn your back she trying to push the baby down, take things away from her, trying to gouge at her eyes, pulling her hair, and fucking pisses me off that this baby getting abused and neglected over there cps knows it caseworker knows it but all they say is write it down . We got court this Friday again caseworker said may extend case might give them to the dad that same day don't know. If they do the destroying the babies life, especially little one, she getting abused, neglected for WHAT cause they only want the older one and if they say they don't want baby they could loose both , so say I want both just to keep older one and abuse the baby . This baby only knows my wife and I as they parents, she the sweatiest thing you ever seen and known. Hugs and kisses all day long always smiling but these visits have been so hard on her tiny heart. And we got these girls through new horizon as well in abiline tx. Caseworker is tony. He ain't worth a shit he has lied in court and covers for the mother as well. They pushing these girls out just to open our home up again .
Oh the foster agency is new horizons don't trust them. Our case worker name was kendra can't remember last name .
Take my son from school knowing I'm not letting them take him and he would fight to the death to take him away from his mama. They didnt even ask if he had medication? Which they already knew and documented. Especially when reason was er visit from school when teacher thought his panic attack was a seizure and called 911. Bcus against his IEP he was taking a test without assistance as another fight broke out in his classroom. ....
I can write a book about his abuse...
I think I do know the feeling I was abandoned at 5:00 I was raised in the office but the process of me getting to the orphanage I had to say with a social worker for about two weeks I guess until they found the placement for me it was supposed to have been a Christian home I went through terrible abuse you name it we went through it and I was raised with close to 180 kids we all were damaged but if there's any consolation of this those people are in hell today.
Helen, you have EVERY right to express this and I hope you use your voice to go to your local representatives and bring awareness to what you experienced and advocate for the vulnerable children and teens!!
23 years ago i was in foster care at the age of 9
I have several CPTSD amd that's partially because of it.
Being left with a family where you are repeatedly beaten unconscious is pretty bad too.
@@sarahstrong7174 That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.
@@sarahstrong7174 I’m so sorry, that’s terrible 😢.
Wow what a sad truth!
Been in over 30 foster home had my daughter in foster care at 15 foster care isn’t shit don’t help and really tore my family apart more then what is was when my mom was on drugs
What type of drugs? Like weed or something else? Sorry if I'm intruding.
Is it better for the child to try new homes or stay in the mental hospital for foster kids with special needs???
Why not leave in same home?
I was put in care age 7 i believe? I started moving within family age 3 though. I sufferd neglect, abuse and i have autism. Im now at an age where im processing my trauma and its really difficult becuase i get in trouble for being upset and i hzve ti just pretend im ok. Honestly, most ofthe time i just want to kms.
I'm very sorry for your struggles
I was a foster child, several times, repeatedly throughout my childhood. Many homes. The solution to healing is relying on the Lord. I have managed to obtain my Bachelor’s, establish a small business and grow my own family with 7 children. You can overcome with the help of the Lord 🕊
Someone please tell me can i take my child bk from care home at sixteen shes going den hill i have a home she lived at she wants to come home can they take her bk ???? Please advise as Reading this is shocking
You are beautiful and its never been your fault
This is ingenious content. A similar book I read was equally brilliant. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
😢
What is the alternative
Leave them with their parents. Most foster kids are not being abused, they are in foster care because poverty.
Right. I'm a foster parent. I'm pouring myself into these kids and loving and raising them alongside and exactly like my bio kids. There are wonderful foster homes out there! We didn't create the brokenness of the families these kids come from, and we can't fix it. But we can walk alongside these kids, shelter them, show them a loving family life. I don't know any other workable alternative.
I was in care and you believe what they did to me isolated me from the world I wasn't allowed a girl friend I would have to leave my house get the bus 45mins to Edinburgh thn time the next bus well coach for just under 5 hours to fort William thn the man who was ment to be looking after me he would drive me another hour to his island yeah island then I had to get a boat well his boat to the other side of the loch to where he lived it totally messed with my head and I had to do this every week I felt like I was so different to everyone not good enough and totally failed by the system if you want to know more if I get enough views say 5 or more I will continue to expose the truth I have loads of trauma and all I wanted was just to be normal❤and peace out guys
God bless the foster care system, May the children be safe in Jesus Name
God bless the foster care system? NO! God Damn the foster care system!
@@HatRatt I was asking for God to Bless the foster care system, things can CHANGE through Prayer. There is no use in just complaining, cursing and bantering about things.
How Mom's who are Bad Parents by Doing Drugs can harm a child's brain
Precious girl. 12 foster homes? I wish we had beautiful homes we could build instead of the millions spent for wildlife habitats
It’s not like we can’t do both. Blus it’s the foster parents and group home leaders that need to be vetted and educated more
Irena Sendler saved a lot of Jewish children during WW2. Documentaries on UA-cam about Irena Sendler and Warsaw ghetto.
It's pts INJURED