Do not give up!!!I struggled with social ques early on as well. I also could not deal with rejection. Study up on these things and just work on being respectful of others and their space and keep your manners in check.
The worst part is they have no interest in you even if you’re a nice or a good guy and most of them might offer friendship, but will act like you’re not really their friend and keep away from you as much as possible and avoid physical contact. And especially avoiding time alone one one-on-one from now on. It’s sad, I don’t know if it’s our age that women act like this or the new generation. But it doesn’t seem like women want to be flirty, easy a, and touchy anymore. It all seems one-sided. now they just want love but they don’t want to show love physically until they approve of you even platonically if you’re just a male friend, unless you grew up with them, they will never be physically affectionate as a female friend. Life will always be unfair.
I got called creepy when I wore my hair long as a guy. Most accusations of being a creep come from when a low-status person violates social norms, not boundary crossing.
Usually, it's those who are shy, timid, or unsure of how to socialize in certain situations where they get their real personalities stifled. The Attractive Man is a channel that perfectly describes the typical creep.
If u were called creepy for no reason. Then that's unrelated to what you said or did. Whereas if it's after talking then jts either your voice like literally how your voice sounds. Or saying over the line things. Usually being autistic is not creepy they think it's funny tho
At this point I have zero concern for the way women or people in general perceive me. When I be myself they don't like it and when I try to appease them they don't care Women are gonna think whatever they want about me and I can't control that. I'm not losing sleep about it anymore, I'm gonna live my life for me What is the point? What is the actual point?
@@kurlykayla9013 I really do hope you become a less hateful person. Its a much better way to live. Take some accountability for your insufficient personality
Sometimes you can't help being a little creepy. Being authentic, honest and kind can be helpful. Places like this are immensely helpful. Thank you SO MUCH for providing this information for guys. I hope more men hear this.
I am getting more attention from women after behaving in a creepy way . A guy needs to come across as a sexual threat in order to attract a woman. Women make rules for beta males and break rules for alphas.
1. Women are NOT the judges of humanity. They are human so therefore they are failable. How many women do you know in your personal life who went Home with the hot stud in the Club, only to be thrown out in the middle of the night because he wasnt interested in her anymore ? Women arent angels, stop treating them like they have superior moral senses. 2. Most of the time, if she doesnt like you, almost any interest from you will be deemed as creepy. Cut your losses and leave her alone. Its her right to be left alone just like its your right to think she is a b****. 3. Find value in yourself. Hard to do, i get it but as a man, ONLY your mother and father will love you unconditionally. Your wife can leave you tomorrow. Learn to live and thrive on your own. Not because its cool, but simply because you HAVE TO.
You do realise some people insult others purely for kicks, not out of principle?! There, there's not much to be said unless that guy lacks basic social skills.
I don't agree with the idea that we live in a patriarchy or that Jordan Peterson is necessarily a bad influence. Even if you disagree with him. Andrew Tate and many Red Pill guys (there are some exceptions) are giving terrible advice for the layperson. Andrew Tate even admitted that some of the creepy stuff he does to get laid only works because he's good looking and rich. He said that he could say those thinks because it's him saying them. That plays into what you said about attractiveness playing a role. Overall, I liked this video. It gives solid tips. I've already learned most of these. The UA-camr "alpha.m" made a good video about this many years ago but gave specific things a guy could do to not look creepy in social settings (like a club/bar). As someone with Autism and ADHD, I can appear hyperactive and clingy to people and that can give off creepy vibes. One of the best things I have found I can do is to curb my enthusiasm. I also try really hard not to stare at anyone. Which is hard for Autists.
The hope is that someone arrives at this video in an honest attempt to not be a creep, which is inherently a good lesson to offer. Keep on keepin on, B.
even average autistic, beautiful young women have their standards so high. and some of them have helicopter parents that will avoid allowing you around them. If they don’t approve I’ve dated someone on autistic spectrum sees sort of on the higher level of autism. She just got her license at 26 years of age just a year younger than when I got my license to drive. but she’s also educated enough and experience with college to become a dental hygienist. her mother was kind of fucked up. Her older sister has been in abusive marriage. Has a ex-boyfriend that helps her raise one of his kids and her two other sons couple also have autism. I’ll tell you they didn’t like me from the start. I made a mistake by acting like I was just being friends with her daughter, but it led to something else and her older sister eventually broke us off. they even had a way to look into her phone and track all of our messages and private video chats. They didn’t like the fact that I had a swimsuit fetish. They saw everything and we planned to be sexually intimate.
I'm not entirely sure what purpose this video serves because it seems to be written for a self-aware audience that already engages with feminism, and I imagine that most of them already do what they can to be comfortable people to be around, but I guess it serves as a reminder to keep improving. Most people outside of that audience I mentioned will find your video's rhetoric super unconvincing because they won't relate to you, they won't understand the concepts you're using (e.g., fear of not fulfilling male gender role, entitlement to women), they won't accept the same premises as you (e.g., "women want to be respected"), and they won't trust the same sources as you (e.g., your online poll of women). They don't even have to be your primary audience, but like, you could cite research when stating something that a viewer from the manosphere might not take for granted, or you could include a point or two that would even make an unabashed sex pest reconsider his behaviour. Those guys are frustrating to reach, and I understand that they're probably outside the scope of your channel, but they're probably the ones who'd benefit the most from it. I liked the video BTW: you presented examples of creepy behaviour, actionable steps to avoid it, and sources to back it up. Cheers.
The issue is, nobody's going to admit that "I call guys who are of the wrong race/don't act masculine enough/aren't attractive enough" creepy in an online poll. The work hasn't been done to show that the majority of times when someone is being called creepy it's for shitty reasons. I've been called creepy for having long hair. My black friends have been called creepy for talking to white women like they're equals. I don't believe in "creepy" anymore.
@@terraneaux I agree that being called creepy is inevitable because so many people use the term willy-nilly, but the video acknowledges this, and it gives a very specific definition for the word "creep" (1:20). It sucks that it's not always straightforward to tell whether or not someone means it though. Personally, I got called creepy all the time when I was fat, and I thought it was my fault until I lost the weight and the comments stopped entirely. 😅
@@flewkey Right but unless this channel is willing to actually address the fact that people get called creepy for bigoted (wrong race) or other shitty reasons, then it's just more of assuming that only men are ever the problem, and that women are allowed to be evil and it's wrong to call them out.
I think they mean when a guy kind of lingers on the idea of asking a woman out or being into her instead of making a move. It makes women anxious and anxiety inducing things are creepy to women.
@@danielallan8061 In other words, when a guy is hoping she will absolve him of the responsibility by flipping the script and asking him out. Women don't like the idea of acting like dating sim characters.
Trying to help guys (and myself) understand what "creepy" behavior really means, and how to stay away from it. Because, for a lot of us, being labelled as a "Creep" by our community is one of the worst things we can imagine. What is your definition of a creep?
creep" is a slang term typically used to describe someone who behaves in a socially awkward, unsettling, or inappropriate manner, often in a way that makes others uncomfortable or uneasy. Creepy behavior can encompass various actions and characteristics, such as overly intrusive or boundary-violating actions, making others feel unsafe or anxious, or displaying an obsession that makes people uneasy. IMPORTANT It's a subjective term, and what is considered "creepy" can vary from person to person based on their individual comfort levels and cultural norms.
I think the moment someone starts to feel unsafe around you, thats the moment he/she will see you as a creep. And we as humans often understand when we make someone feel unsafe. Unless we are autistic, or something. Approaching someone on the streets, is different than when someone is in a bar, around friends etc (very safe). I think most of us understand these social dynamics, and situations, in our guts, we feel it.
@@tobiastobias2419 the problem is that some people feel unsafe around black people, or poor people, or around men in general. Also, oftentimes it's not about feeling physically unsafe, but socially unsafe - is my peer group going to think I'm friendly with this person? Better call them a creep so nobody thinks I'm friendly with this low-status person etc
@@terraneauxit's so easy to be labeled a creep now. Example: I went to a bar to play pool with a friend from out of town. Walk in all the tables are taken. We walk up to the bar an order two long necks, my budy go's "I thank that table is open there is just that one girl leaning on it and she dosnt seem to be playing on it." I walk over to ask her if she's using the table and if so if we could get next game. Before I can get out "hay" she looks at me with disgusting and says "eww who are you" I was taken back but kinda understand I'm in my 40s dad bod fat bald she was 21 or 22 and a attractive young lady who dose probably get hit on a lot, but I wasn't even hitting on her I just was going to ask about the table. I could see no winning thare by continuing the conversation so I walked back to the bar and my budy who was laughing at me. We both get about 1/3 way through our beers when security walks up and says "you 2 your out of hear" I was like for what? He said the girl from the pool table said I was creeping on her and we were looking at her and she didn't feel safe. I tried to explain but dude didn't want to hear any of it. He said we don't need any perverts in hear and to talk to wemon my own age, as he walked us out the door. We were met by a city cop at the door who informed us we had been officially trespassed from the property and would be arrested if we ever came back. He also didn't want to hear my side of the story. He just kept saying didn't matter the owner saw the whole thing go down he called us I'm telling you your not welcome hear. Then suggested that we talk to girls out own age if we didn't want kicked out of any other bars.
This video: “Treat women like people and respect their boundaries” Everyone in the comments: “what is this woke bullshit” Lots of people self-reporting in the comment section here.
Dismissive comments like this are exactly why young men are going to Tate and Peterson. Young guys click on this video wanting to learn how to approach women without being creepy and instead this dude spends half the video talking about self flagellating shit like the patriarchy made you objectify women, or you did it to prove your masculinity to your friends, or you don't be really want sex you just crave love and intimacy. That's not helpful. If you have a younger brother who asked for advice is that really what'd you do? Read off your humanities class syllabus and tell him not to vandalize cars? C'mon. Or just tell him to fix his hygiene, ask the girl how her day is, crack a joke and gauge her reaction, then invite her out and learn to handle "no" because it happens sometimes. Like seriously it's not that hard to talk to young men without being so fucking dismissive. Just give them practical advice and save the humanities class for later.
@@tallestGirafffe >Like seriously it's not that hard to talk to young men without being so fucking dismissive. The issue is that if you're not dismissive you don't get the liberal audience, which *hates* young and unsuccessful men. That's who this channel creator is appealing to.
@@kurlykayla9013 No, it's because the manosphere offers the only sympathetic ear and practical advice to men. That's how they draw them in, the misogyny is mixed in later. When guys go to left leaning spaces, all they're met with is condescending "you objectify women" theories like this video, and derision like your comment. Why would men want to spend time in spaces that hate them?
@@kurlykayla9013 No, they spend plenty of time self-reflecting. But why would someone, after self-reflection, try to make nice with someone who thinks they're inherently unworthy and deserve condescension?
I'm a totally normal dude with a chill personality but appearance wise I'm kinda creepy lookin NGL. I wear a wiccan pentagram necklace, grey hair sometimes black, visible signs of balding, leather jacket, cross earrings, and I'm physically misshapen (big head small body) no muscle. My point is you can be perceived as a creep if you just look the part sadly. I don't recall ever acting inappropriately whenever I conversed with women in the past.
I just learned to just not approach women, specially in the work place. Don't speak unless spoken to, it really is not that hard. Most of you in the comment section take offense to this video lol why is that?
I don't want to be a creep either but sometimes, the creep comes out of me. It's like in me and sometimes I can't help it. I don't realize I was being a creep until after the interaction.
Totally get that. And the first step is recognition. Second is supporting the desire to change the behavior. And third is educating yourself around how to make that change. Thanks for checking out the video!
Fellow autistic guy here, I get the pain, but I've also had *some* success dating, I can give some man-to-man advice. - social cues: They are a damn mystery to me. I just ignore them and just focus on literal words. It'll be harder, yes, but not impossible. Haters gonna hate, the best we can do is just use our strengths and not fixate on our weaknesses. - Introduction with intent: - If it's a cute girl you met on campus or something: "Hey, I saw you and you looked cute, is it ok if we chat now or sometime later?" One thing that's never acceptable in an introduction is to immediately bring up sex unless you both have had prior history including flirtation-related activities. - If it's a friend you have (co-worker, classmate, etc): "I have a confession to make, I like you romantically and / or sexually, is it fine if we talk about it now?" A friend who knows you likely knows that you are autistic or somewhere on the spectrum and will likely acknowledge and try their best to communicate with you. If they don't, then think about it - would you want a relationship with someone who dismisses your autism? For us autistic people, the people who can match with us are very few, and that's a tragedy that we just have to accept. Just like accepting that we need to pay bills. I have a surprisingly high libido despite being emotionally blank on the surface, and I ended up asking every girl in my engineering cohort (all 5 of them lol) and in my year (about 150). I got rejected by all. It's no secret a big part of it was my autism. This is something we men have to face and accept: most women don't like every man they see. We don't live in a society where women ask men out equally. It sucks, and I hate it as much as you. Unless you plan on making the next social revolution in gender expectations, we need to abide by it. My success came from creating a python script to DM every girl in my age range on a Discord dating server. About 2,500 DMs, only 30 bothered replying back and meaningfully engage, and 1 ended up as my girlfriend (now ex). But my god I got lucky. My ex took every autistic trait I had and thought it was adorable / cute. Especially the social fails, she LOVED them as long as no one was hurt. Long story short, it's a numbers game. You and I have a 0.1% of finding a match. But that can be mitigated by reaching out a thousand times and facing rejection in the face. It's just how probability works in conjunction with large trials. Hope I put some hope back in you, I get that feeling on how it feels like we will be forever alone, dejected from society, because we are. This doesn't mean that all hope is lost.
@@sciencemanguy I had to explain to a Filipina coworker that I wasn't exactly staring (but it looked that way) at her. I texted her on Facebook and explained what I was doing and why I was doing it. I then explained my Autism/ADHD. I told her that I looked uncomfortable at the time because I thought I was making her uncomfortable. She didn't say anything on FB, but I ended up speaking to her in person. She's like, "but that's okay." I nearly cried. You wouldn't believe how rare it is to find an understanding woman.
@@danielallan8061 Yea, for us, it's like a jackpot when we find people like that. Also, my ex broke things off because I got emotionally distant because of university (long distance relationship) and struggled to maintain that emotional connection.
Not sure what Jordan Peterson has to do with anything, probably not as much as college aged men pretending to be feminists to try to get women's favor, not saying that is what this guy is doing, but I'm sure it happens.
Treat people like actual people: you know, human beings? Why is this so hard for so many to understand? I love so many things guys do, and I am an intellectual, I live on planet earth as well and I have skills/hobbies/strength/traumas etc. I'm a human. My external shell doesnt make me a clone to all other women. W h y is this still so hard to fathom? If we have to attribute stereotypes, then I should have been born male. But no, HUMANS should have mamy traits that are attributed to "both genders". That is how I am, and that is how I value others!
Treating women like "human beings" will oftentimes get you into trouble. Many women want to be treated notably differently than the men around her - with more respect, more care, and more regard.
@@RealFeelsProjectThe guys watching this video just want to know how to be with women. What do Tate or Peterson tell them? They address their frustrations and tell them how to get girls (in shitty and misogynistic ways). What do you tell them? That you know better than them, because what they really want is not sex, but intimacy. Or, they want to prove to their friends that they're manly, or they're subject to the patriarchy which makes them treat women like objects. It comes off as condescending and preachy. There are plenty of guys who have the emotional intimacy they need from family and friends, and the morality not to "prove themselves to the boys" or vandalize cars, or treat women like objects. These are normal guys who just want to have sex, but don't know how to approach women. It's a completely normal human desire to have. What's more, you gloss over the sections these men would want to hear most: how to stay out of the "weird" creepy zone or better yet, how to be viewed favorably by more than half of women, which for some reason you downplay as tiny and quickly move away from like it undermines your point. I get that you're trying to teach guys to be respectful, and it's unhelpful for guys to think they can get away with shitty behavior if they're attractive, but being respectful is not the same as "not a creep" and even further away from actual advice on women. For example, if a guy with dirty clothes, poor hygiene, and bad social skills approached, some women would label him creepy regardless of how direct and respectful he is. A guy could get labeled creepy just for having an ugly face, or a scar, or tattoos, and that's fine, but it's obvious being attractive or just presentable is a huge part of staying out of the weird zone and not being a creep. And you're doing a huge disservice by trying to avoid that topic. Really you ignored the viewpoints and the topics that the guys on the Tate fence need most help with. Kinda just comes off as a virtue signaling piece for already progressive viewers to pat their own back on.
@@tallestGirafffe dont really know how you arrived at this conclusion. He said he did a poll of whether or not people who found somebody attractive were less likely to see them as a creep. Albeit, a very small sample size, but it was still addressed. You can’t imply, ‘oh this video isn’t teaching men how to get women, so therefore men have no other choice but to turn to people like Tate’. There’s a wealth of healthy advice online, if people choose to go to a freak like Tate, that’s entirely on them. The overall message of the video is ‘be polite, respectful, and take rejection gracefully’. That’s solid advice for anybody, but it’s unfortunately what a startling amount of guys don’t get, and need to hear. That’s not virtue signalling, it’s just putting the right information out there Edit: because this is the internet, I should also add - not attacking you, just wanted to respectfully add to the conversation
@@ej5677 >The overall message of the video is ‘be polite, respectful, and take rejection gracefully’. It's also "women are never morally wrong," by implication, because there's no allowance for the fact that women call men creepy out of bigotry, and that happens often.
@@RealFeelsProject Why would you trust an ideology that claims to be against harmful gender stereotypes, but then creates/endorses something such as the Duluth Model? Also, years of talking to feminists.
Hey can you tell me how we live in a patriarchy. Personally i wasn't raised to think of woemb as objects or any of those things and i dont know people who think that way.
The point is "men are at fault for everything, everywhere, and women never are." I've had people tell me that the patriarchy means that white women weren't responsible for the oppression of black Americans in slavery and during the time of Jim Crow. So much of it is an attempt to cast educated white women as victims and avoid them having to self-reflect on the unearned advantages they enjoy.
Did you watch the video? I say in it that I have done some of the behaviors that women listed in my online poll. I'm investigating it for my own sake, and sharing my findings. I am not at all saying I am separate from the audience I'm aiming at.
@@RealFeelsProject son, im just saying that in my opinion all the wokebro/male feminist kind of guys, like you, are the most creepiest out there. Creepier than everyone here combined
I'm autistic, I've had people tell me about social cues since I was 17 (and aware I had autism). I give up.
Do not give up!!!I struggled with social ques early on as well. I also could not deal with rejection. Study up on these things and just work on being respectful of others and their space and keep your manners in check.
Yea.. you are
i'm 28 years old single never had a girlfriend, tbh i see myself as a creeper scared to say anything to girls they'll think i'm a werido
The worst part is they have no interest in you even if you’re a nice or a good guy and most of them might offer friendship, but will act like you’re not really their friend and keep away from you as much as possible and avoid physical contact. And especially avoiding time alone one one-on-one from now on. It’s sad, I don’t know if it’s our age that women act like this or the new generation. But it doesn’t seem like women want to be flirty, easy a, and touchy anymore. It all seems one-sided. now they just want love but they don’t want to show love physically until they approve of you even platonically if you’re just a male friend, unless you grew up with them, they will never be physically affectionate as a female friend. Life will always be unfair.
I got called creepy when I wore my hair long as a guy. Most accusations of being a creep come from when a low-status person violates social norms, not boundary crossing.
See when an unattractive man acts confident
Guilty of both 😒
Interesting perspective
Usually, it's those who are shy, timid, or unsure of how to socialize in certain situations where they get their real personalities stifled. The Attractive Man is a channel that perfectly describes the typical creep.
I could call her a "fascist" at this point 🖕 all these terms are so dumbed down in society .
"How to not be a creep"
Be tall and good looking.
You will not be creepy just because of automatic things. BUT you definitely have to be careful how you speak as a man.
If u were called creepy for no reason. Then that's unrelated to what you said or did.
Whereas if it's after talking then jts either your voice like literally how your voice sounds. Or saying over the line things. Usually being autistic is not creepy they think it's funny tho
This being short as a man get you this lable just existing 😒
At this point I have zero concern for the way women or people in general perceive me. When I be myself they don't like it and when I try to appease them they don't care
Women are gonna think whatever they want about me and I can't control that. I'm not losing sleep about it anymore, I'm gonna live my life for me
What is the point? What is the actual point?
Premise: you can't perfectly control people's reactions. Conclusion: manners are bullshit.
@@peterkerj7357alr buddy
Yep
Things are fxxked up, just ignore them all , get used to being alone
What the fuck
You got this bro
classic incel copepost
@@lewisje9534 DAYUM LOL
He's right, but sometimes people misappropriate the term "creep" to mean, "Someone interested in me that I am not attracted to."
no.
@@kurlykayla9013 yes.
@@painunending4610 more excuses lol
@@kurlykayla9013 I really do hope you become a less hateful person. Its a much better way to live. Take some accountability for your insufficient personality
@@painunending4610 none of what you’ve said is a counterpoint. Just more whining and deflection. It doesn’t work on me.
Sometimes you can't help being a little creepy. Being authentic, honest and kind can be helpful. Places like this are immensely helpful. Thank you SO MUCH for providing this information for guys.
I hope more men hear this.
I am getting more attention from women after behaving in a creepy way . A guy needs to come across as a sexual threat in order to attract a woman. Women make rules for beta males and break rules for alphas.
1. Women are NOT the judges of humanity. They are human so therefore they are failable. How many women do you know in your personal life who went Home with the hot stud in the Club, only to be thrown out in the middle of the night because he wasnt interested in her anymore ? Women arent angels, stop treating them like they have superior moral senses.
2. Most of the time, if she doesnt like you, almost any interest from you will be deemed as creepy. Cut your losses and leave her alone. Its her right to be left alone just like its your right to think she is a b****.
3. Find value in yourself. Hard to do, i get it but as a man, ONLY your mother and father will love you unconditionally. Your wife can leave you tomorrow. Learn to live and thrive on your own. Not because its cool, but simply because you HAVE TO.
About this legal stuff...I think having to prove guilt is better than being able to easily arrest someone.
You do realise some people insult others purely for kicks, not out of principle?! There, there's not much to be said unless that guy lacks basic social skills.
My advice don't impress women its not even worth it ... they will turn on you and get free passes to everything
I don't agree with the idea that we live in a patriarchy or that Jordan Peterson is necessarily a bad influence. Even if you disagree with him. Andrew Tate and many Red Pill guys (there are some exceptions) are giving terrible advice for the layperson. Andrew Tate even admitted that some of the creepy stuff he does to get laid only works because he's good looking and rich. He said that he could say those thinks because it's him saying them. That plays into what you said about attractiveness playing a role.
Overall, I liked this video. It gives solid tips. I've already learned most of these. The UA-camr "alpha.m" made a good video about this many years ago but gave specific things a guy could do to not look creepy in social settings (like a club/bar). As someone with Autism and ADHD, I can appear hyperactive and clingy to people and that can give off creepy vibes. One of the best things I have found I can do is to curb my enthusiasm. I also try really hard not to stare at anyone. Which is hard for Autists.
stop watching corn, trust it works
The hope is that someone arrives at this video in an honest attempt to not be a creep, which is inherently a good lesson to offer. Keep on keepin on, B.
Max! Thanks dude! Trying to educate myself and share what I'm finding here
I didn't know the thing about calling someone "love".
even average autistic, beautiful young women have their standards so high. and some of them have helicopter parents that will avoid allowing you around them. If they don’t approve I’ve dated someone on autistic spectrum sees sort of on the higher level of autism. She just got her license at 26 years of age just a year younger than when I got my license to drive. but she’s also educated enough and experience with college to become a dental hygienist. her mother was kind of fucked up. Her older sister has been in abusive marriage. Has a ex-boyfriend that helps her raise one of his kids and her two other sons couple also have autism. I’ll tell you they didn’t like me from the start. I made a mistake by acting like I was just being friends with her daughter, but it led to something else and her older sister eventually broke us off. they even had a way to look into her phone and track all of our messages and private video chats. They didn’t like the fact that I had a swimsuit fetish. They saw everything and we planned to be sexually intimate.
I'm not entirely sure what purpose this video serves because it seems to be written for a self-aware audience that already engages with feminism, and I imagine that most of them already do what they can to be comfortable people to be around, but I guess it serves as a reminder to keep improving.
Most people outside of that audience I mentioned will find your video's rhetoric super unconvincing because they won't relate to you, they won't understand the concepts you're using (e.g., fear of not fulfilling male gender role, entitlement to women), they won't accept the same premises as you (e.g., "women want to be respected"), and they won't trust the same sources as you (e.g., your online poll of women). They don't even have to be your primary audience, but like, you could cite research when stating something that a viewer from the manosphere might not take for granted, or you could include a point or two that would even make an unabashed sex pest reconsider his behaviour. Those guys are frustrating to reach, and I understand that they're probably outside the scope of your channel, but they're probably the ones who'd benefit the most from it.
I liked the video BTW: you presented examples of creepy behaviour, actionable steps to avoid it, and sources to back it up. Cheers.
I mean, I'm trying here haha. I use TV/movies to help guys relate. But threading the needle you're talking about continues to be the battle.
The issue is, nobody's going to admit that "I call guys who are of the wrong race/don't act masculine enough/aren't attractive enough" creepy in an online poll. The work hasn't been done to show that the majority of times when someone is being called creepy it's for shitty reasons.
I've been called creepy for having long hair. My black friends have been called creepy for talking to white women like they're equals. I don't believe in "creepy" anymore.
@@terraneaux I agree that being called creepy is inevitable because so many people use the term willy-nilly, but the video acknowledges this, and it gives a very specific definition for the word "creep" (1:20).
It sucks that it's not always straightforward to tell whether or not someone means it though. Personally, I got called creepy all the time when I was fat, and I thought it was my fault until I lost the weight and the comments stopped entirely. 😅
@@flewkey Right but unless this channel is willing to actually address the fact that people get called creepy for bigoted (wrong race) or other shitty reasons, then it's just more of assuming that only men are ever the problem, and that women are allowed to be evil and it's wrong to call them out.
why wouldn't they accept the fact that women want to be respected? It's...pretty basic
Thank you so much for posting this. As a man, more people need to know this in order for us to live happier lives.
appreciate that and you
Creeps are meant for each other
"When you aren't being up front about your intentions". So I'm supposed to say "Hi, wanna bang". "Okay, see ya later".
I think they mean when a guy kind of lingers on the idea of asking a woman out or being into her instead of making a move. It makes women anxious and anxiety inducing things are creepy to women.
@@danielallan8061 In other words, when a guy is hoping she will absolve him of the responsibility by flipping the script and asking him out. Women don't like the idea of acting like dating sim characters.
Trying to help guys (and myself) understand what "creepy" behavior really means, and how to stay away from it. Because, for a lot of us, being labelled as a "Creep" by our community is one of the worst things we can imagine. What is your definition of a creep?
creep" is a slang term typically used to describe someone who behaves in a socially awkward, unsettling, or inappropriate manner, often in a way that makes others uncomfortable or uneasy. Creepy behavior can encompass various actions and characteristics, such as overly intrusive or boundary-violating actions, making others feel unsafe or anxious, or displaying an obsession that makes people uneasy. IMPORTANT It's a subjective term, and what is considered "creepy" can vary from person to person based on their individual comfort levels and cultural norms.
I think the moment someone starts to feel unsafe around you, thats the moment he/she will see you as a creep. And we as humans often understand when we make someone feel unsafe. Unless we are autistic, or something. Approaching someone on the streets, is different than when someone is in a bar, around friends etc (very safe). I think most of us understand these social dynamics, and situations, in our guts, we feel it.
@@tobiastobias2419 the problem is that some people feel unsafe around black people, or poor people, or around men in general. Also, oftentimes it's not about feeling physically unsafe, but socially unsafe - is my peer group going to think I'm friendly with this person? Better call them a creep so nobody thinks I'm friendly with this low-status person etc
@@terraneauxit's so easy to be labeled a creep now. Example: I went to a bar to play pool with a friend from out of town. Walk in all the tables are taken. We walk up to the bar an order two long necks, my budy go's "I thank that table is open there is just that one girl leaning on it and she dosnt seem to be playing on it." I walk over to ask her if she's using the table and if so if we could get next game. Before I can get out "hay" she looks at me with disgusting and says "eww who are you" I was taken back but kinda understand I'm in my 40s dad bod fat bald she was 21 or 22 and a attractive young lady who dose probably get hit on a lot, but I wasn't even hitting on her I just was going to ask about the table. I could see no winning thare by continuing the conversation so I walked back to the bar and my budy who was laughing at me. We both get about 1/3 way through our beers when security walks up and says "you 2 your out of hear" I was like for what? He said the girl from the pool table said I was creeping on her and we were looking at her and she didn't feel safe. I tried to explain but dude didn't want to hear any of it. He said we don't need any perverts in hear and to talk to wemon my own age, as he walked us out the door. We were met by a city cop at the door who informed us we had been officially trespassed from the property and would be arrested if we ever came back. He also didn't want to hear my side of the story. He just kept saying didn't matter the owner saw the whole thing go down he called us I'm telling you your not welcome hear. Then suggested that we talk to girls out own age if we didn't want kicked out of any other bars.
This is such an important video, thank you for making this
thank you!
This video: “Treat women like people and respect their boundaries”
Everyone in the comments: “what is this woke bullshit”
Lots of people self-reporting in the comment section here.
Dismissive comments like this are exactly why young men are going to Tate and Peterson.
Young guys click on this video wanting to learn how to approach women without being creepy and instead this dude spends half the video talking about self flagellating shit like the patriarchy made you objectify women, or you did it to prove your masculinity to your friends, or you don't be really want sex you just crave love and intimacy.
That's not helpful. If you have a younger brother who asked for advice is that really what'd you do? Read off your humanities class syllabus and tell him not to vandalize cars? C'mon.
Or just tell him to fix his hygiene, ask the girl how her day is, crack a joke and gauge her reaction, then invite her out and learn to handle "no" because it happens sometimes.
Like seriously it's not that hard to talk to young men without being so fucking dismissive. Just give them practical advice and save the humanities class for later.
@@tallestGirafffe >Like seriously it's not that hard to talk to young men without being so fucking dismissive.
The issue is that if you're not dismissive you don't get the liberal audience, which *hates* young and unsuccessful men. That's who this channel creator is appealing to.
@@tallestGirafffe so men go to tate and peterson because they're allergic to self reflection. got it.
@@kurlykayla9013 No, it's because the manosphere offers the only sympathetic ear and practical advice to men. That's how they draw them in, the misogyny is mixed in later. When guys go to left leaning spaces, all they're met with is condescending "you objectify women" theories like this video, and derision like your comment. Why would men want to spend time in spaces that hate them?
@@kurlykayla9013 No, they spend plenty of time self-reflecting. But why would someone, after self-reflection, try to make nice with someone who thinks they're inherently unworthy and deserve condescension?
I'm a totally normal dude with a chill personality but appearance wise I'm kinda creepy lookin NGL. I wear a wiccan pentagram necklace, grey hair sometimes black, visible signs of balding, leather jacket, cross earrings, and I'm physically misshapen (big head small body) no muscle. My point is you can be perceived as a creep if you just look the part sadly. I don't recall ever acting inappropriately whenever I conversed with women in the past.
Just leave them alone, how's that?😮
John 3:16 💚💚💚💚💚💚.
I just learned to just not approach women, specially in the work place. Don't speak unless spoken to, it really is not that hard. Most of you in the comment section take offense to this video lol why is that?
True
I don't want to be a creep either but sometimes, the creep comes out of me. It's like in me and sometimes I can't help it. I don't realize I was being a creep until after the interaction.
Totally get that. And the first step is recognition. Second is supporting the desire to change the behavior. And third is educating yourself around how to make that change. Thanks for checking out the video!
This video is pretty informative. Keep up the good work!
thanks!
@@RealFeelsProject anytime
Just keeps dragging.....creeps usually do that. Insecurity is the reason.
Creep? Thats me fr fr
I'm a creep and I like being like that
Wait what
4:25 unless your a celeberty they can probely get away with it oh and attractive that to
This thing about social rules, autistics are going to be considered "creepy" unfairly for that.
Fellow autistic guy here, I get the pain, but I've also had *some* success dating, I can give some man-to-man advice.
- social cues: They are a damn mystery to me. I just ignore them and just focus on literal words. It'll be harder, yes, but not impossible. Haters gonna hate, the best we can do is just use our strengths and not fixate on our weaknesses.
- Introduction with intent:
- If it's a cute girl you met on campus or something: "Hey, I saw you and you looked cute, is it ok if we chat now or sometime later?" One thing that's never acceptable in an introduction is to immediately bring up sex unless you both have had prior history including flirtation-related activities.
- If it's a friend you have (co-worker, classmate, etc): "I have a confession to make, I like you romantically and / or sexually, is it fine if we talk about it now?"
A friend who knows you likely knows that you are autistic or somewhere on the spectrum and will likely acknowledge and try their best to communicate with you. If they don't, then think about it - would you want a relationship with someone who dismisses your autism? For us autistic people, the people who can match with us are very few, and that's a tragedy that we just have to accept. Just like accepting that we need to pay bills.
I have a surprisingly high libido despite being emotionally blank on the surface, and I ended up asking every girl in my engineering cohort (all 5 of them lol) and in my year (about 150). I got rejected by all. It's no secret a big part of it was my autism. This is something we men have to face and accept: most women don't like every man they see. We don't live in a society where women ask men out equally. It sucks, and I hate it as much as you. Unless you plan on making the next social revolution in gender expectations, we need to abide by it.
My success came from creating a python script to DM every girl in my age range on a Discord dating server. About 2,500 DMs, only 30 bothered replying back and meaningfully engage, and 1 ended up as my girlfriend (now ex). But my god I got lucky. My ex took every autistic trait I had and thought it was adorable / cute. Especially the social fails, she LOVED them as long as no one was hurt.
Long story short, it's a numbers game. You and I have a 0.1% of finding a match. But that can be mitigated by reaching out a thousand times and facing rejection in the face. It's just how probability works in conjunction with large trials.
Hope I put some hope back in you, I get that feeling on how it feels like we will be forever alone, dejected from society, because we are. This doesn't mean that all hope is lost.
@@sciencemanguy I had to explain to a Filipina coworker that I wasn't exactly staring (but it looked that way) at her. I texted her on Facebook and explained what I was doing and why I was doing it. I then explained my Autism/ADHD. I told her that I looked uncomfortable at the time because I thought I was making her uncomfortable. She didn't say anything on FB, but I ended up speaking to her in person. She's like, "but that's okay." I nearly cried. You wouldn't believe how rare it is to find an understanding woman.
@@sciencemanguy If you don't mind me asking, why is she your ex?
@@danielallan8061
Yea, for us, it's like a jackpot when we find people like that. Also, my ex broke things off because I got emotionally distant because of university (long distance relationship) and struggled to maintain that emotional connection.
i thought Jordan peterson was suposed to be a genius?
But imma creep
Not sure what Jordan Peterson has to do with anything, probably not as much as college aged men pretending to be feminists to try to get women's favor, not saying that is what this guy is doing, but I'm sure it happens.
I'm sorry but you look Pete from Pete Trash Taste, uhhh his name is Pete and you kind of give the same vibes as him, like uh American. Lol.
i have seen quite a few how not to be a creep videos, and i can say this is the worst video i have seen in this section
Treat people like actual people: you know, human beings?
Why is this so hard for so many to understand?
I love so many things guys do, and I am an intellectual, I live on planet earth as well and I have skills/hobbies/strength/traumas etc.
I'm a human.
My external shell doesnt make me a clone to all other women.
W h y is this still so hard to fathom?
If we have to attribute stereotypes, then I should have been born male.
But no, HUMANS should have mamy traits that are attributed to "both genders".
That is how I am, and that is how I value others!
Treating women like "human beings" will oftentimes get you into trouble. Many women want to be treated notably differently than the men around her - with more respect, more care, and more regard.
Honestly I had a lot of hope for this channel but he misses the mark in so many ways.
Which ways? Would love to hear your perspective
@@RealFeelsProjectHe didn't want to hear that he should respect women.
@@RealFeelsProjectThe guys watching this video just want to know how to be with women. What do Tate or Peterson tell them? They address their frustrations and tell them how to get girls (in shitty and misogynistic ways). What do you tell them? That you know better than them, because what they really want is not sex, but intimacy. Or, they want to prove to their friends that they're manly, or they're subject to the patriarchy which makes them treat women like objects.
It comes off as condescending and preachy. There are plenty of guys who have the emotional intimacy they need from family and friends, and the morality not to "prove themselves to the boys" or vandalize cars, or treat women like objects. These are normal guys who just want to have sex, but don't know how to approach women. It's a completely normal human desire to have.
What's more, you gloss over the sections these men would want to hear most: how to stay out of the "weird" creepy zone or better yet, how to be viewed favorably by more than half of women, which for some reason you downplay as tiny and quickly move away from like it undermines your point. I get that you're trying to teach guys to be respectful, and it's unhelpful for guys to think they can get away with shitty behavior if they're attractive, but being respectful is not the same as "not a creep" and even further away from actual advice on women. For example, if a guy with dirty clothes, poor hygiene, and bad social skills approached, some women would label him creepy regardless of how direct and respectful he is. A guy could get labeled creepy just for having an ugly face, or a scar, or tattoos, and that's fine, but it's obvious being attractive or just presentable is a huge part of staying out of the weird zone and not being a creep. And you're doing a huge disservice by trying to avoid that topic.
Really you ignored the viewpoints and the topics that the guys on the Tate fence need most help with. Kinda just comes off as a virtue signaling piece for already progressive viewers to pat their own back on.
@@tallestGirafffe dont really know how you arrived at this conclusion. He said he did a poll of whether or not people who found somebody attractive were less likely to see them as a creep. Albeit, a very small sample size, but it was still addressed.
You can’t imply, ‘oh this video isn’t teaching men how to get women, so therefore men have no other choice but to turn to people like Tate’. There’s a wealth of healthy advice online, if people choose to go to a freak like Tate, that’s entirely on them.
The overall message of the video is ‘be polite, respectful, and take rejection gracefully’. That’s solid advice for anybody, but it’s unfortunately what a startling amount of guys don’t get, and need to hear. That’s not virtue signalling, it’s just putting the right information out there
Edit: because this is the internet, I should also add - not attacking you, just wanted to respectfully add to the conversation
@@ej5677 >The overall message of the video is ‘be polite, respectful, and take rejection gracefully’.
It's also "women are never morally wrong," by implication, because there's no allowance for the fact that women call men creepy out of bigotry, and that happens often.
As soon as I find out someone is pro feminist or agrees with feminist thinking, I immediately assume they aren't worth listening to.
Why?
@@RealFeelsProject Why would you trust an ideology that claims to be against harmful gender stereotypes, but then creates/endorses something such as the Duluth Model?
Also, years of talking to feminists.
@@Blueorange22 you're not worth listening to, now that bullshit came out of your mouth
Same
Bullshit
Hey can you tell me how we live in a patriarchy. Personally i wasn't raised to think of woemb as objects or any of those things and i dont know people who think that way.
The point is "men are at fault for everything, everywhere, and women never are."
I've had people tell me that the patriarchy means that white women weren't responsible for the oppression of black Americans in slavery and during the time of Jim Crow. So much of it is an attempt to cast educated white women as victims and avoid them having to self-reflect on the unearned advantages they enjoy.
The assumption of super woke men (like you), is that they are not creeps, and everyone else is.
Did you watch the video? I say in it that I have done some of the behaviors that women listed in my online poll. I'm investigating it for my own sake, and sharing my findings. I am not at all saying I am separate from the audience I'm aiming at.
@@RealFeelsProject son, im just saying that in my opinion all the wokebro/male feminist kind of guys, like you, are the most creepiest out there. Creepier than everyone here combined
@@RealFeelsProject and yes, i watched the whole video
Found the creep
i once talked with a feminist. And she said : im disgusted by male feminists, they are such sneaky creeps !
Yes, I watched the video .... There are few things I agree with you on....a bit woke
Thanks for watching it! Would love to hear your feedback
that's a bad thing how?