Why Large Age Gap Relationships Can Feel Gross
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Is age just a number? Using celebrities, TV, and pop culture, Brad Gage digs into the psychology of age-gap relationships, why older men and younger women are attracted to each other, how it can sometimes result in an unequal power dynamic, and what can be done to help these relationships thrive.
Includes analysis of age-gap May-December romances, Evolution Theory, Gender Roles, "Daddy Issues", plus Dane Cook and Jerry Seinfeld dating teenagers. It'll all make sense when you watch it.
Written and Hosted by Brad Gage
Produced by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell
Editing and Graphics by Brad Gage
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#AgeGapRelationships #JerrySeinfeld #DaneCook
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I am 49 yo, he is 37 yo. And our relationship is perfect.
I'm 37 and seeing a beautiful 51 year old woman. It's the best relationship I've ever had
It's not anyone else's business who other people date.
@joanarc7963I wouldn't be here had my parents not had an age gap in their marriage. So naturally, by the nature of my existence, I have very little I can say against it. I think there's a right way to do things and the wrong way. Are you saying that if a 34 year old man consensually and healthily fell in love with your niece and they both were happy, you would still have a problem with it? What if the genders were reversed?
@joanarc7963 24? Thats a grown woman you have 0 say, control freak.
@joanarc796324 is a grown woman, she can do as she pleases and you have no say in the matter.
If a adult is dating a minor yes yes it is
@@Tfnafplayer2 I think that's assumed here? No?
(as in, assuming the relationship is legal)
If you personally wish to date someone with a similar age to you, that’s called personal preference. And if you’re judgmental of people who date with an age gap you are an ageist and this form of bigotry is called ageism.
Excellent & well done video/talk. I am 20 years elder to my 40 yr girlfriend. Its a beautiful relationship. But theres so much more to such relationships. Theres an emotional evolvement happening at the younger age of say 18 to 25. And its important for a man to understand this well. Quite often this doesn't happen & thats probably very detrimental to the younger partner.
I divorced because my wife didn’t want sex , she is 56 I am 54 … now my new girl is 36
Ahah so your lucky to have another 10 years of sex. Should have gone for 18yo . You’d be right till mid 70s buddy
Funny thing is he says it's gross....the truth is I bet his porn history has no female over the age of 30 years old.
That's actually a topic for an upcoming video - how porn is harmful to:
1. many performers and
2. the sexual expectations of men
Thanks for bringing it up!
Before Google and Yahoo started censoring such things, terms like lol*ta and "year old" were among the most frequently used in porn searches.
probably since all of the users are people in school
Having a relationship is not the same. No one can use their age to control you if they are just watching porn.
@FIGHTFANNERD9 yep!
when my gf is less than half my age there's nothing "gross" about it. we're having love and fun as consenting adults. what's gross is **you** thinking you have some kind of influence where you don't belong. in the place you wish you were, we revel in your disapproval 🏝😎💃🍸
I am 24, I am using dating sites where I get request from older men 40+ , they don't want children but in their profile it's mentioned, prefer partner age 18-27. This age 18-27 is an age where female in their prime fertility. If these men aren't looking for children, why do they want women in that age group? They can search 35+ . Are those men toxic and time waster? Or is it any Red pill theory ?
try searching 35+ its been a desaster in my experience, and not everybody wants children
@@snorrevonflake Nobody wants children are you serious. It's been a disaster for me even under 35. Nobody I met wants marriage and to buy a house.
You are correct. I went through the same thing. Every guy I met that were in their 30s and early 40s did not want children or marriage. Alot of them already had kids and didn't want more, or, marriage, because they already did that in their 20s. Women in their 20s are trying to get started. They are time waisted.
I'm a 51 year-old woman, and what they want is a "hot girl".They are thinking about SUPERFICIALITIES, but they also want the EGO BOOST of thinking they're special enough to get a younger women.They also want someone who's naive, more easily impressed, and they want feel like they're in charge.An ex-boyfriend of mine admitted to me that he wanted a young girl who would WORSHIP HIM, because he knows a woman his age is not going to do that.
@@kimerietate8372 you sound bitter as hell lol.
these videos are so good keep it up
I’m 48m and been dating a 22f for a month. I normally wouldn’t even try to go after a woman that age, but she pursued me. No, I don’t have money.
I know long term the odds of us working out is nearly impossible, but I’m enjoying it and just taking it day by day. She’s beautiful, the sex is great, and she treats me better than most other women I’ve dated in their 30s and 40s.
I am 33. I have no economic power or social power.
💯
I'm 62. Same here.
Let's hear it for the average man!! Woot! Women don't deal with us because of it!
that situation. it diffucult to date women ur age, maybe 10+ older is a good group
Dig the irony of the Al Pacino reference at 5:15 . Two years after this video got posted, 83 year old Pacino and his 29 year old girlfriend announced they were expecting a baby.
I think he spent too much time "getting the power."
when u were 31? u look about 31 now lol.
Why did I think he was like 21😅
I found your video very validating and helpful. Thank you.
Well I came into wealth 18 so I should date people twice my age cause I’m wealthier than people my age? Most of the things seem stereotypical lol.
Ahaha. Buddy what can I say. Married my wife she 19 me 47. Your vid smacks of something strange . Maybe your attempt at validating your current relationship by doing the reverse to age gap
I agree with the psychological aspects of an age gap.
As a sociologist, I believe this moderne times with our vast bombardment from social media, turns people (young men) goals and desires outwards than inward. People know more about who the Kardashians are than the basic knowledge of the dynamics in their own psyche.
The presentation and illusion of the sexy and wealthy from social media, has not just alienated people from each other but also from themselves.
More to say... maybe later.
I hope more people will make honest and critical videos as yours.
Good job 👍
Absolutely agree and I await more thoughts from you. Thanks so much for checking it out
This dude wears his seat belt while walking around in public
So women can't have confirmation biases
If you haven't already, can you please make a video about the flip side? Why relationships with older women and younger men make us uncomfortable
I’m a 55 y/o man and she’s 40. She made it very apparent she was interested so I made a move. Now we are a couple. It’s mutual and we are both consenting adults.
That's like a perfect gap at that age.
She's 40.
@@GUITARTIME2024What’s your point?
A 40 year old woman is lucky to get any man.
55 and 40 is totally different than 20 and 35.
Age gaps are more appropriate as you age.
I'm sorry but if you think you're normal being your fifties dating 20 year olds that's just nasty
I don’t know if they’re still together but at the age of 56 Brad Pitt was dating a 27 year old German model. So he’s nasty? People and especially women can have a very myopic view on large age gap relationships.
yeah the age is gross just because the looks of it it doesnt feel right and confortable 🤮
@@electricityisgreat2767 don't do it, then
@@electricityisgreat2767 nothing immoral about it though, it’s absolutely normal for a man to be attracted to a young woman, you sound like a woman, so I’m going to assume u don’t understand how the male brain works at all
It’s normal, most men never will not find young women in their 20s attractive
Your girlfriend is going to leave you for a man
My parents have a 20 year age gap and their relationship is perfectly happy, much more happy than most relationships I've known.
Also, I don't get the argument that age gaps necessarily have have a power dynamic. Yes, there is some power dynamic to it. However, finances have a much bigger influence over power dynamics than age gaps, and yet it's considered acceptable for someone who has a lot more money to date a poor person.
The power thing is a feminist talking point. They seem to think guys actually decide who to date or marry based on how much power they can wield over them. LOL.
If you take care of yourself and look 25-30 years younger as well as being athletic; then the only difference is life experience.
When I was 17 nearly 18, I was briefly involved with a significantly older man. As I got older, I realise more and more just how predatory it was. And how disempowering. It did considerable damage to my sexual and emotional development, especially as that was my first sexual experience. I wasn't particularly attracted to him but he manipulated me into it by playing on my vulnerabilities and desires, including bs about how he could see how wonderful I was unlike boys my own age who couldn't appreciate me blah blah blah. He knew - as I know now - how easily you can manipulate a naive, inexperienced, insecure teenager with that sort of stuff. Most women I've talked with or heard/read stories from who've had similar age gap experiences report similar.
There are attractive male teenagers. There are even teenagers who have/have had crushes on me. I'm sure I could get one or more of them into a relationship with me. But I don't because I'm aware that there's a power imbalance even without the gender issues and I care about their wellbeing. I don't want to harm someone just so I can get off and feed my ego, which, frankly, is what I think most older men who go after teenagers are doing. It comes from self-focus and entitlement and not considering the wellbeing and needs of the younger person. Just because you find someone attractive and pleasant company, that doesn't mean that you should be in a relationship with them. I never want to do to anyone else what was done to me.
@Harvey Smith
I completely agree. I see too many women describing as "manipulation" (when they were 16-23ish) the kind of nonsense that even a level headed middle schooler shouldn't have fallen for. It is too easy of a cop out instead of accepting the ego blow that they were probably not an overall desirable/sought after person and got the relationship they deserved.
Also, finding someone attractive and pleasant company absolutely is a good enough reason to be in a relationship with them, contrary to what she claims.
@Harvey Smith i-
@@AD-ry7br 16 is a kid-
@@AD-ry7br believe me there are women out there that get manipulated easily until the age of 25 when the brain stops developing
@UCdBVleydlqQl0N8Jr5QWK2Q that's how abuse works please do some research before opening your mouth and victim blaming
To answer the question: Because it comes off as predatory. It's assumed the older man is chasing the younger girl because she's supposedly less experienced, more naive, and thus easier to assert dominance over and manipulate.
Now, there are guys who ate with someone younger for more wholesome reasons. But, I think more often than not; it's the former.
If you think it's creepy here. You should see Japan.
Yeah, covering these topics in non-US countries is definitely something I may eventually cover. For now, I'm focusing on experiences I've seen or experienced and can speak to a little more directly.
What’s going on in Japan？
@@Melly16yr10 weird shit
Often times it is predatory. I fell into this trap as a freshman in college and he stalked me for a year after the abusive relationship.
He was crusty and too old, I stayed with him because I had no other people there and sometimes even needed food and clothes. He would make me cancel college events to hang out with him, I'd get there, and then he'd ignore me the whole time. 😠😠
Thats not even close to worse thing that happened that year.
So many people have made fun of me 👎👎But I definately blame him. Im glad that im now much more confident and strong, but im sad that someone had to scar me for life to make me a stronger person 👎👎
It makes you unable to see your worth in future relationships because if they're better than that abusive guy, you'll settle even if the new guy is still a turd. I still fall into that trap sometimes lol.
Thankfully I've raised my standards, but again I'm sad that I had to deal with all of that stuff 😕
surely there's easier ways to know your value and gain confidence lol
Sorry to dump this under your comment 😂😂
Evidence?
I’ve been fortunate in my 77 years of living to have been with women half my age. Had a wonderful week in Hawaii with two women 31 and 32 when I was the sum of their ages at 63. They suggested the trip we had a wonderful time and we still yak on the phone 10 years later. So I often wonder just who would be with whomever if nobody knew anyone’s age? No clocks, calendars, birthdays etc. I would think that out of 100 couples a certain number of them would be age gap relationships simple because they fell in love and lived happily ever after.
It feels good to hear a man speak on this topic and voice these concerns. I’m not against age gap relationships (7-10 years seems to about even some evolutionary things out) but the wider gaps have always made me uncomfortable, you’ve explained why perfectly.
Why not mind your own business?
Isn't this discrimination? What if some guy wouldn't date you just because you are black?
Does it feel good enough to... touch yourself? 😏💦
What matters is the heart, not age.
Why would big age gaps make you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't affect you personally, maybe you need some sort of therapy..
Nothing gross here other than how small your mind is.
I hope the algorithm picks your vids up, they are super well scripted and produced.
What a bunch of BS. Also putting snippets of other youtube creators into your video, to disparage their work, is actually quite disonest.
I will report you to them and to youtube.
I know so so many women this has happened to. So, no, it's not a few bad apples.
Women don't love you because you created this video.
I also find it important to point out the societal pressure and ingrained habit of people pleasing in women. I have been 22 with a man who was 44. People pleasing, wanting to make others happy, the school system suppresses our healthy questioning of authority and when older men have seemingly more resources and power, they can come across as authority figure. We are not taught to have a healthy relationship with authority. We are taught to bow down and give up our needs as women to put others before our own. Take this into consideration too great video
Women, resist at all costs.
"authority should be questioned"
Meanwhile there's like a 99% chance you wore a useless mask during covid because the authorities said you should, you got the rushed vaccine because the FDA (an authority) said you should. lol.
Feels gross to who ?
Logistically a gap of 20 years or more would make the younger partner young enough to have a father daughter bond with and by the time they're 40 they would be your caretaker, I think the cut off point for a healthy age gap (between adults) is around 15 years anything more than that things get logistically uncomfortable, I also think teenagers should be off limits when you reach a certain age, my cousin who just turned 20 is married to a man in his late thirties that started dating her when she was 17 and they have a very strange groomerish relationship
Dogs get groomed, people don't. Take your age prejudiced butt outta here. 👉
Nah people are just blaming age gaps for their failed relationships truth is age gap is never the problem if you’re two adults so stop this nonsense demonizing relationships
A young female wants…. Live comfortably, nice car, boat, home,children being taken care of…. All these things older men have, along with patience, understanding, girls not hitting the club, I was married very early, being in the military I was decline, focused, most young people today don’t have it, not real adults
I wish I had waited until my brain was done developing to get married. I got married at 22, he was 32. We started dating when I was 19. I'm now 26. I've changed so much since I was 19, so much since I was 22. It's caused a lot of problems in our marriage. I'm not the same person he married. I have different goals and priorities now than I did then. It definitely has been very hard.
How has this guy’s channel not blown up yet???? It’s great!
Yea man sed...
Because feminist ideas coming out of a man isn’t exactly click worthy.
Maybe because he's buying the feminist talking points completely.
Dick Van Dyke 46 year age difference with is wife. Thats crazy 😂😮
Tony Randall married a 25 year old when he was 75.
An age gap of 10 years or so is fine if the younger partner is older than 25
U mean 18+ and above , screw 25 that’s too old
@@Cousinbiddy125 is too old? 😂
@@italkgory99 yesssss , 25 is when a women’s beauty starts to decline
Okay keep those rules to yourself... I'll continue dating 18 year old women
Leo? Is that you?
"I'm not going to talk about relationships with underage girls because that's gross" then your examples showing age-gaps being harmful were about teen girls, many under 18.
why dont you do a little more research. When older women mate with a younger man, they have a much better chance of having a sucessful pregancy. So it actually works both ways. Older women with power and wealth, will look for younger men. Thus, just as there are younger women who find older men attractive, not just for money, there are younger men who find older women attractive, and there is a biological reason for everything that can and has happened.
Exactly
Inequitable is the key word. The woman has NO power in the relationship when the man's much older and is more established. NONE.
Not true
@@ziadallali8456 yes it is.
Succeed?? Not even compatible age couples succeed…. Get over it…. Who r we to say what’s adequate?? 100 years ago a 12 year old married a 40 year old and it was normal… not advocating underage relationships, just giving some historical perspective… a 20 year old today has more miles than my first car….
When I found myself unexpectedly single again at age 42, I dated 3 different women who were 28. None went beyond a couple dates because we weren’t able to connect on a personal level although we remained friends. I wound up marrying a smart and beautiful woman 9 years younger than me and we’ve been together and happy for 14 years. She is truly my soulmate and one true love. We both have advanced degrees (me MD her 2 Masters and a PhD) so that was helpful.
at least their brains were fully developed
I think age gap relationships are problematic whenenver the younger person is 25 or younger and the gap is substantial (more than a handful).
everything above 30 is "fair game"
@@tuggerthat's debunked psuedo-science that blew up from "Leo" hate fyi. Brains are constantly developing. Grad students under 25 aren't feeble minded "children"
@@tugger Do not you think 12-13 years gap is fine even though the girl is around 22-23 and the guy is 34-35?
Four LOOONG minutes of intro segways into rediculous sound bites, film clips, and thrashing a hodgepodge of shallow preaching. This poor guy doesn't know if he wants to be woodworking Dr. Phil or a psychiatric Gossip Column.
I'm 41 and my partner is 20 years older and people still think it's weird. The worst flack I get is some, not all, but some random women his age will be absolutely horrible towards me. It's the only thing that bothers me because who wants to feel like they are living in a Mean Girls movie in their 40s.
Let's face it, you're gross. I'm 21.
@@sarahrobertson634 can you read? She’s 41 and he’s 61…
@@ItsMaceo Can you infer? She said she gets the most hate from women who are her old ass husband's age. I'm here to offer some hate as a 21 year old. Try to keep up, man.
@@sarahrobertson634 I’m 30 I’m old 🥴😂😂. You’re too young to be so negative.
@@ItsMaceo You started it, grandpa.
Is it wrong to date women 26 years younger than you??
this video is so good!
I've never liked guys my own generation they were to immature older guys are more mature my mom used to ask me if i was looking for a daddy figure because my dad died when I was almost 13
Well since my father was a great dad and a great man and was 14 years older than my mom i tend to only see the upsides.And my step dad who was the same age as my mom was a vicious psychopath .
@joanarc7963 are you saying both are exceptions then i agree
You've got some good takes in there and the conclusions are spot on. My partner is 25y younger and we've established a healthy loving relationship considering the points you've left at the end.
Love this video! Your self-reflection, honesty and use of research was great and something I wish more people would do. I was wondering if you could share how you found some of your sources? I'm wanting to do a paper on a similar topic and I am having trouble finding what key words to use to find the information I need. Love the content, keep it going :)
@user-qb6ze6di8k exactly, and people will take that as the go ahead to let their guard down. Sadly as a femme person I’ve had to learn to be very selective with my trust
Or youth is just more physically attractive...
There's the age gap and then there's an age gap
Id say the icky factor doesn't kick in till around 20 years IF the women is under like 25
So a 40 year old dating a 20 year old is NOT equal to a 50 year old dating a 30 year old
Id say if the woman is over 30, 15 years is pushing the limit
8 years is the sweet spot.
Just my opinion
Agreed. That's basically my stance in the video as well.
8 years sweet spot mean when do u think that difference is ideal?
18 to 19 is too much of a child.That's a senior high school student.I want a girlfriend or wife not to raise a daughter which for me would end up being a part of the relationship. Of course it's the individuals that are the biggest factor.
It's not gross, it's normal and natural. People are freaking out over nothing.
I want to date an older woman who can introduce me to how to be a good lay.
Would u be interested in a older gentleman (gentle) man. Me perhaps I can help brake you in
I have younger men after me. The responsibilities of considering it, I find my maturity blocks it. Whether doubt, or indecision, I just feel instinctually that it is inappropriate.
Same here. I'm pushing middle age but much much younger than my years and get attention from guys way younger than me and I feel flattered but I feel like I'm robbing the cradle so I don't entertain them because it feels very wrong
I never deeply thought about the power dynamic angle until I heard him say, the older person may influence the younger person's personality instead them finding their personality on their own. I think there are pros and cons there.
He has not deeply thought about it either. The older man may have the economic & social power over the younger woman, but the younger woman will have the sexual power over him, something which is totally ignored in this video to maintain this feministic and man-shaming society we live in.
This video is totally wrong. The real reason why the older guy younger girl thing "feels weird" is simply because you're talking about a man just sleeping with a younger woman. If you frame it as an older man marrying (and treating his wife good) age becomes way less of an issue if they were both ready to get married. If two people treat sex and relationships as a serious thing with a goal of marriage and monogamy, there's way less "predatory" vibes. Less abuse of power connotations and implications. More about two people that have the same goal and happen to be some years apart.
A guy who is 45 and marries a woman that is 25, and treats her respectfully every time is not predatory IMO. Now, if the guy that is 45 just wants to get his rocks off with a girl who is 25 (and she consents), then he can be called predatory. However, to know whether a relationship is predatory (and call it out as such) or not takes some careful observation and most of us just don't know how to do that. As well, some like being chased and caught. Thus, I don't consider it my business to get involved in affairs like that.
Large economic disparities are icky too. You just know shes a gold digger. If their not on the exact same economic level then shes probably with him for the money. She doesn't love him ....she loves what he can do for her.
Some do. My friend is 35 and in love with a 65 year old dude. She genuinely is super in love with him and they have a really happy relationship. His kids think she's a gold digger but I know her and she's not like that. Yes, she may have found his financial security appealing but she is genuinely in love with him.
I like this channel.
Let me say something, that brain washing stuff about girls should date guys their own age is a bunch of nonsense. Older men are more equipped to take care of younger women
From a financial point of view, this is a given because young women don’t really like dating broke young men.
But here is a message for young men: No young woman likes being stood up for important (to her) social events by young men. Older men generally appreciate this and if they’re remotely smart, keep all social event promises even if something more promising turns up.
When I was in my late 30s much younger women time and time again told me the reason they asked me out or agreed to date me, was because THEY KNEW I’d keep my social event promises (unlike some of the men there own age).
I didn’t win by being more handsome: I won by default.
I'm 55 and my wife is 27. I have never loved anyone like this and we are over the moon.
Good for you I’m glad you have a solid relationship
Well said and happy for you both
@@angelwolf5756 Lots of work, but so amazing! ty
And of course you're going to have that bunch of group of people they're going to say congratulations that's so awesome but honestly you're old enough to be her dad that's really nasty I'm sorry if people don't look at it as you know when you were like a teenager she wasn't even born or when you were in your twenties having fun with your friends your wife was in a baby crib
@official asiangirl exactly and whether they think they have a lot in common they really don't
Yeah Seinfeld is full of shit
He dates the hot young ones because he can. And just because you can doesn't mean you should
There's no animosity here either. It's just wrong. He knows it and that's why he's making up stupid shit excuses like "Im not a racist"
whats wrong about it
Nah it doer feel gross at all unless it’s like more than 25 or something it’s just makes people jealous
was looking for something a bit more positive. All debbie downers here.
Is it wrong for a 35 year old man to help and encourage a 20 year old woman achieve her nursing career? If it becomes an intimate relationship along the way is that wrong? We go to college together.
As I talk about at the end of the video, age gap relationships can be fruitful and successful for both parties through communication and awareness of possible harmful power dynamics.
Try to marry her as soon as you can.
@@ModelJames13 Why as soon as?
@@gourabmukhopadhyay7211 Because once a man gets to his age his chance to get married is very small. This could be his last chance so he should go for it. 😎
I don't like it from a practical sense. She is a 20 year old mail order bride and doesn't speak English. He is 50, he's not a millionaire, heart attacks happen. Who will look after her and the kids in later years?
Well, yes, but good health is not a given. This I reminded a young woman at work who mocked me for having a much younger GF. Her same age boyfriend then had a brain aneurysm, and almost drowned in the shower. She was much more circumspect towards me after that (and I was circumspect enough not to bring the subject up again).
Men, in general, find young women more attractive...period.
Sex I get. A successful relationship? 🤔
I've noticed that attractive young women don't marry poor old men but rich ones yes. So I figure if the guy knows he's paying for it and the young woman is ok with the setup no problem. I do find it rather pathetic if the old guy really believes he's a stud. I suppose people have different definitions of what a successful relationship is. As long as both parties are honest with each other and more importantly honest with themselves I figure whatever floats their boats. @@edp3202
And younger women tend to be less demanding, more enthusiastic, gentler and have less baggage. When the presenter speaks of experience, he means baggage, even if he doesn't know it.
@@StuJones-gn7te yes, until they empty your bank account and leave!☹️☹️☹️
If I had any money, it would be well hidden.
What's more "gross" a man dating a much younger woman or a woman who won't date a man her own age because he's not good looking enough or he doesn't make enough money or because he doesn't provide enough excitement to keep her engaged in the relationship?
Well, the first one is gross physically. The second is gross because of how immature she is acting.
All the more evidence that she probably should stick to her age bracket.
you dont HAVE to date anyone.
The reason why large age gap can feel gross is that moral disgust is a thing, and you subscribe to a moral system that sees power imbalances as exploitative, oppressive and wrong. Since relationships with a large age gap inherently involve a power imbalance, you see them as wrong hence gross. But that's just you. To the vast majority of humanity, who doesn't see power imbalance as wrong, relationship with a large age gap appear as perfectly normal and acceptable. Hence why this kind of relationship has been, and still is, the norm worldwide. Bottom line is, you shouldn't overgeneralize your feelings to the rest of humanity, because you're not representative of the average human. You're weird (western, educated, industrialized, rich, democratic), which puts you at the extreme end of the distribution for many psychological traits, including morality.
You know what has power? Money
I agree except the last line 😂😂. I think anyone in the western world would most likely agree with him. Not all though bc I think this video is overly simplified and a lot of past generations were full of age gaps.
@@jclyntoledo The US is not the western world. I'm Italian, and age gaps here still don't raise much of an eyebrow.
But you can get abusive relationships like that between two people of the same age, as I grew up in a loving household between two parents with an age gap I find it incredibly offensive when somebody compares a coupling like that to abuse or worse pedophilia.
The power dynamic is absolutely not comparable to two people of the same age
@@Takiki its way different two same age people abuse it was less worse and they both would understand what to do most likely
@@electricityisgreat2767 Trust me it's not,
@@Angel-vv9xo Thank you! It happens in work and teacher student dynamics or other roles were someone has more power over you either by status/role or money. The age is not the sole deciding factor.
@@Angel-vv9xo Do you really want another power imbalance between the genders?
Did you really have to start this video by highlighting Aaliyah being raped by Robert Kelly. That wasn't a relationship that was a child being groomed and preyed on by a serial child predator. BTW That song was written by Robert Kelly, Aaliyah didn't write a single song on her debut album.
everything you said in the video is bs...is all about sexual attraction if the girl likes you and she is 20 and you are 40 she will not care about your age, money, status etc...she wants you, is all about what emotions you provoke inside her and that is decided by mother nature at the end of the day, she does now know you but only looking at your she feels something and wants more.
What does a 20 year old have in common with a 40 year old?
@@joannareyngoudt9955 nothing but the 20 year old feels sexual attraction towards the 40 year old guy simple
@@brimstonevalar6053 then it's the 40 year olds responsibility not to take advantage of the 20 year old's naivety. It's that simple.
(16:05) So at what age does this development complete? Would our persona fully develop when we reach 30, 40,or 50?
Lol@this #MaleFeminist.
Literally nothing wrong with a large age gap. This is just more man-shaming.
Amen!
Cool so you see nothing wrong with essentially preying on children. Thanks for calling yourselves out.
@@juliafraa6419 18+ isn’t children, weirdo.
@@activatekruger446 their brain development is not finished yet. In comparison to a 40 year old yes they are a child. Development happens gradually and does not finish until 25 years old. Under that age you are still particularly vulnerable to abusive dynamics so should not date anyone much older than you for your own safety. This goes for young men and women. Half my 18th year I was in high school. Did I have as much power as an adult with a job and their own apartment who had been out in the world for 20 years? Absolutely not. They could easily manipulate me. And that's the reason they want to date a little immature 18 year old. Anyone wanting an equal partner is disgusted by that dynamic. Those defending it...I can explain why it's wrong. But you know why. You are 40. You remember being 18. You know the difference between those ages. If I have to explain it to you it's because you already know its creepy and you 1. Dont care or 2. That's why you want to date them.
@@juliafraa6419 Spare us the wall of text and just admit you’re a jealous post-wall female who can’t compete with younger women.
I’ve not had any experience with age gap relationships and don’t intend to, but I 100% agree that guys doing traditionally homemaking things is very much a turn on and absolutely cannot be undervalued.
Edit: actually I do notice the affect of age gap relationships in my parents. They’re 12 years apart and for the most part their relationship is good, but you can definitely feel the strong power dynamic inequality that occasionally feels uncomfortable
👏
A few academics reject evolution theory due to the supposed confirmation bias of "white male" researchers, but the fact that by that same logic one might conclude that these mainly female academics might also be acting out of confirmation bias doesn't occur to you.
In any case, the fact that some academics disagree with the evolutionary explanation leads you to summarily conclude that "evolution theory doesn't hold water." That's quite a leap.
There is nothing wrong with dissenting views, of course. But to simply dismiss an idea because dissenting views exist is foolish.
You may be harboring a bit of confirmation bias yourself, sir
Goodness, it's a rational human being! And here in the wilds of the internet where they are so rarely seen!
Thank you for putting into words what I was feeling. Constructive criticism like yours is what makes this site so valuable.
I agree and disagree with you. The power goes both ways. Not all older men seek younger women, because sometimes younger women seek older men. And we can also flip the age roles as well, male for female to address the cougars. Also, not all people are controlling like you’re suggesting. Notice your focus is the power of the man over the woman. I do like your closing statements though. No I’m not in an age gap relationship, but have witnessed a few…good and bad.
They make it seem like younger women don’t like older men when a lot of them do. As for age gap relationships ending badly, that can be any relationship.
Women go for older guys to have the control and the power . Because they are so scared that they will leave them for someone younger after they get more mature that they date their old men to be sure 😂😂😂
@@idontgiveafaboutyou they are very insecure or hungry for money for this reason exactly they go for older men to have the power 😊 is because they are so scared of competition that they will date their dad to be sure they have the power you know 😅
@@idontgiveafaboutyou because guys of their age have a lot of more options prettier girls … but the old man will be so happy knowing you’re so much younger than him 😂 so will not matter that much how hot you look because this kinda of predatory ego maniac men idolises so much youth 😅 MEN WANT TO IMPRESSS OTHER MEN SO THEY GET A TROPHY WIFE BECAUSE MEN ARE SEEKING VALIDATION FROM OTHER MEN NOT FROM THE WOMENS. Omg 😂
I don't know I feel like a ten year age Gap can be normal ish, I think it's much weirder if there is an age Gap where one person is old enough to be your parents. my rule of thumb is if they were in a completely different stage of school when you were growing up, then it can set up a lot of differences like if there were high school when you were in elementary school growing up, that might be kind of weird because they were already dating and most likely sexually active
People from completely different ethnic and cultural backgrounds get together and form healthy and loving relationships. The idea that you need to be the same as one another to be compatible is a complete logical fallacy.
I'm 38. My type is 16-20. Don't care what you think.
Damn. You couldn't at least narrow that down to 18-20? 😂😂😂
creep
Brother eeuuugh
And most women when they choose a much older man in their early years regret it later
Really? What % of women of any age speak well of their ex-partners?
Since women file 80% of divorces, I'd say most women regret marrying ANY man.
What disappointment of a video. You set the expectation as a three part: definition, what's wrong, how it can go right; then you spend all the video in the first two and call it a day with 30 seconds of the third part.
I am in favor of large age gaps. Period. You people who think that it is 'creepy' have no honesty, or understanding... ALL MEN want the 20-something cheerleader.. It's biology- and instinct.. You can hate us for wanting that, but that instinct is part of what saved the human race from extinction.. My best friends are a large gap couple- him 50's -her 20's.. They have a second child together. Why hate on him/ them? NO, It's not 'immoral' . Age-gap relationships without kids are even better. If you can drink at 21, vote at 18, you can have a LT relationship/friends with benefits with anyone you want.. When people ask a guy, "what do you have in common with her?"(the 21 yr old waitress) men and women don't have much in common even if they're the same age! we don't HAVE to have anything in common! My parents WERE 10 years apart. he was 28, she 18, they care about the family! ( Very little in common.. Who cares?? silly...Do you really think that my mom was 'manipulated' 'unfairly'.. traumatized by that? really? If you think so, please explain why.... You'd think that people that agree with me that abortion/birth control should be legal, and that women don't have to have kids at all, would be more flexible/enlightened on the age thing as well, Debate me on that.
The average age gap between couples is 2.5 years. Facts don't care about your feelings.
@@jz372 Of course the AVERAGE gap between couples IS 2.5 years. I NEVER said otherwise. I was not disputing the 'facts.. Men often choose a woman within 2.5 years of him because most of us don't have the guts to seek an age gap relationship. The fact that most relationships are close to the same age doesn't mean that they are happy. People(men) will pick same-age relationships out of desperation, not wanting to be rejected and alone. Not because 'facts don't care about my feelings'.,.. I never claimed that these facts were different than they are. I never claimed that the average couple is 30 years apart..
@@doglover-zo2us Here is another fact for you: the greater the age difference between the couples, the greater the odds of them getting divorced. Multiple studies about this... You seem to want to apply your personal opinion without any fact and yet the bigger age gap, the bigger chance the divorce... I mean you seem to be triggered and refuse to accept that people might not think like you and your parent as much as you want. You can't just say that the reason why people choose a small age gap is because most people don't have the guts without facts to support it and yet we have studies that prove the bigger the age gap the less happy these couples end up to be. It does not mean your parents are unhappy and they don't love each other, but come on, you have to see the world from outside your bubble and realize not everyone think like you and your parents. According to the stats, not many do...
@@jz372 I'm not in favor of marriage and kids to begin with. Lifetime marriage? why? All relationships eventually end..Even So many same-age marriages end in divorce also.. I'm not opposed to divorce, at all.. Even most divorced people I know are ok friends with their spouse.. They just got bored with living with the same person 365 days a year, and they wanted variety..Men want to hook up. Men want to get laid. Just like Tom Leykis... And Leo Dicaprio. hollywood stars..So men will Not be 'happy' with a middle-aged woman. It goes against our nature.. (unless he's looking for emotional intimacy, and not physical intimacy (and maybe not even then).. Men and women don't want the same thing..Women want protection, and provision, money from a man. Men want physical attraction, from a woman. It has been that way since Adam and Eve were in the garden.. Instinct, god, and nature didn't lie to us..I'm not mad that Hugh Hefner paid big money, to be with supermodels till he died. I understand him.. That is why so many of us favored birth control, and abortion. God wanted us to be fruitful and mutiply, he didn't think it was a sin if age gaps were 25 years difference. I am a sinner, with god since I haven't been multiplying. Everyone does fall short of god;s glory, though. Two examples though,: A beaten-down working-class guy working in a coal-mine with black lung diseases, whose wife became neurotic. Leo Dicaprio with smiles, on a fling with a supermodel. Which road did most of us want? In one rich household, the guy has an affair with a secretary, and the wife has an affair with the pool-boy, he is handsome after all. I understand both people, though cheating is not good. How could their marriage last? Aging saddens a person, leaving them crying buckets of tears, a loss of innocence, and hoping to get that youth back!
Still gross
I'm sorry, but any way you look at it, a woman standing next to a man twice or three times her age just looks like her grandpa or Dad. It looks perverse on both sides.
looks perverse to you, but what if they love eachother, and they have kids and have a happy family. what is perverse about that
Good video
I am 24 and my man is 39
Only in the last minute and a half, he does mention the question "How it may be made to work".
Why is an unequitable or varying dynamics relationship demonized? Not only do I have an Age Gap relationship but I have age gap FRIENDS in their 60s. No one has ever denounced my friendships, calling them "manipulative", "gross", "creepy". Strange that people only rush to these words when love and intimacy is involved. A difference in experiences is only to be expected in AGR's but definitely not worthy to be shunned. An older man can benefit a younger woman in MANY ways and vice versa. After all, isn't a relationship one where both HAPPILY give and take? There's only one thing gross and that is Ageism. Society, especially western, wants you to become invisible or die after 50. By then you are "worthless" to them. THAT is gross.
Since we now live in a world where you cannot even trust your shadow your statement might be naive at times
No one really cares about power dynamics. If their daughter was an airhead and she brought home the class valedictorian for dinner, they wouldn't say "Oh noes, power dynamics! He's going to manipulate her." The fact is, the Pride movement is just full of hypocritical, intellectually dishonest cowards. They say "love is love" and "consent is all that matters", but they don't really believe it. So they invent a bunch of stupid loopholes like the "power dynamics" line.
Truth is,
When in “love” …she Could be 80 and act like a teenager all over again….
That’s cute
Gotta love women ❤
Ever heard of forever 21?
what?
Generalization of stupid western psychology Psychology is over thinking what is normal. i say your option isn't my option.
I'm late 20s and i would have to say i find early 20s the most attractive, sure older teens have fully developed curves, they tend to think and act like children.
Let’s just judge everybody and try to bend them to our will. Because we know how they should live their lives. They’re not breaking any laws so we’ve got to try to shame them or they might do what they want and we can’t have that.
And if we can turn an adult woman in the victim of an adult man, simply because he is older than her, that’s a bonus!
😂😂😂 This is funny bc this is literally the msg most of society goes by the whole "everyone is different but let's treat them all the same" idea.
The women is 70% the issue because they go for older men because they are control freaks and very insecure , younger men have more options prettier girls and that stuff but the old dude will be so happy that you’re so young so will not matter so much how hot you are 😂 is all about control Women can be manipulative too come on . And is always the case almost . Almost all the relationship I show with big age gap , the husband was a narcissist and the women was a very smart sociopath who can manipulate a narcissist sooo easily telling them all what they want to hear and boom they are yours😂
I am a woman, and when I was 34, I dated a younger guy for a month or so.I never once found it "exciting"to be spending time with someone younger.Men like younger women for superficial reasons, and to to feed their egos.They want to feel like they are in control, and they want to feel that they must be special if they're able to pull a younger woman.They are being self-serving, and not thinking about the women/girls at all.
this.
My younger wife and I laugh at this degree of cynicism.
@@kajekage9410 how much younger is she? The gap?
You sound like a real catch
@@bankrolldame nope