“One of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is developing a negative outlook about your life or yourself” - I actually didn’t know that. Very useful information.
I’m relieved to hear that bullying can also cause this. I have a lot of memories from elementary and middle school when my classmates would bully me and I never understood why I could recall these memories so well or why they will randomly pop into my head.
I was bullied for most of my childhood, so i could already have told you that. I know it well. :/. I’m in my 40s and am still trying to get over it and try to forgive people.
I was also bullied few times, it's hard for me to stay in school now, I dropped out of college twice. I'm doing EMRD therapy. It's helping me feel free again.
My entire childhood I was overweight.. I would get picked on constantly in Elementary school, and middle school was even worse. I would stay after school until 4 to avoid all the older kids who hungout at the bottom of the street. I was petrified because I would get jumped at least once a week. The school didn't care at all, and my parents just weren't parents. Fast forward 23 years.. Now a professional Bodybuilder, model, and I have the worst self esteem you can imagine.
Traumatic memories vs regular memories are amazingly different and noticeable. When I went to the doctor and he washed his hands and came over to examine me, I started to have a panic attack from the smell of the medical soap on his hands. It caused the traumatic memory of my mom being sick and dying in the hospital. It’s amazing to learn that this sensory memory has been stored in a different part of my brain. Thank you, Dr. Tracey Marks!
This reminded me of when I was in the hospital and washed my hands and they happened to use the same soap that was used at the psych ward I'd stayed at for only 13 days but the memory was so strong I teared up immediately when I smelled it and almost had a panic attack. I can't even tell you how I knew the smell was the same but I knew it was. Thankfully I have good coping mechanisms and have been working through the trauma that happened to me at the psych ward.
That may be a sign that you’re processing and healing. I used to have nightmares about my abusive ex hurting me, and then the dreams would began to evolve into me just seeing him and being afraid, then I started to have dreams where I would see him and cuss him out, then eventually I got to the lace where I would see him and walk past him without him triggering me. This happens over a course of 10 years and with therapy and lots of interventions. If you can seek helps from a GOOD licensed therapist, I recommend it. Hang in there.
I had the same dream over and over from the time I was 5 years old until I was 33 years old. It was a very vivid dream where I could smell all the smells and physically feel all the emotions. It wasn’t until I was 32 when I started going to therapy that I learned they were memories from being molested as a 1-3 year old. I was diagnosed with ptsd.
Thanks for sharing this and im glad you were able to get the answer to this repetitive dream. Some cant come to this realization because the traumatic event occurred at a much younger age which can often lead to a person feeling that maybe theyre making things up but the body says otherwise.
That is called implicit memory. Memory formed prior to language by infants/toddlers that is stored without words but sensory input like sound, smell, images, feelings, etc.
The most terrible thing is body memories. You wake up in the middle of the night , suffocating /gasping for air- because you drowned, your face burning - because your shields were torched, your ears ache - for the pressure blast, your eyes tear - for the summon flashes... It has no cognitive memories. It hurts so much. You dont want to sleep.
"You have to feel to heal." - Iyanla Vanzant Feel the trauma feelings stored in your body/mind. You have repressed/depressed these feelings. How to process is the next question: EMDR, therapy with a GOOD therapist & trauma informed, journaling, yoga, meditation, fasting, spending time in nature or with pets, body work, micro-dosing psychedelics, etc.
As a victim of assault, you absolutely nailed this, I still get triggered and have flashbacks, and they’re just as vivid, if not more clear, each time I experience them. It’s awful.
I have a lot of these thoughts, especially blaming a person for not doing. protecting, saying something when I feel an injustice has happened. I think it goes back to childhood neglect and abuse. Thank you for this video. It just clicked how therapy works and why it's important to talk or write about it, since the brain will process it differently and have more control over it, just made sense to me and more important, I will continue to seek therapy instead of just suffering in silence. Appreciate your videos.
@@Imani_Aaliyah__ I could have written this comment myself. Have you heard of reparenting? Something to do with offering yourself what your inner child hasn't received...
It's funny how I'm in therapy for this, yet not even my therapist knows how to really handle C-PTSD outside of traditional PTSD treatment. Trauma isn't just the one event, it's an amalgamation of emotions, thoughts and experiences and that last part is key. Violence at ANY age is traumatic, but has anyone ever asked how "real world" violence affects people at certain ages? Like say, oh, a baby with memories of watching their father beat their mother. The mother screams, getting the baby's attention to look up from their peaceful playtime only to be faced with chaos. I remember seeing the hallway receed and feeling being dropped onto the kitchen counter as my 7 year old sister at the time cried on the olive green corded phone, calling the police. How do I remember it was the cops? Because I recognized the blue & red lights flashing through the kitchen window and the officers coming in to take my dad away...but they never did. My mother kept letting that monster back in, but she didn't realize how she was being monstrous herself which brought out my father's ire who BOTH took it out on my sister in the WORST ways possible and it all trickled down to me. Ask me my story sometime.
Hi there. I have a similarity childhood.. lots of violence and abuse. I am a survivor of intimate partner abuse as well. Good Therapy can help so much.
Thank you for those who liked this as I have an update that'll make red pill YT gag: I spoke to my father and learned that my mother lied about everything and gaslit me so badly that she had me convinced that my father was an abusive pedophile when in reality she and my older sister came up with the whole plot all the while trying to divorce my father who was, in all honesty, just as controlling and narcissistic as they were combined, just not as physically violent as they were. When you ask me about my story, please bare with me as I'm still trying to get the facts strwhile enjoying my happily ever after.
Thank you so much for the fire-example. I was so afraid of something extremely triggering and you did such a great job to not trigger most traumatized people with choosing such an uncommon yet easy to understand example. It´s great to see that there are trauma informed psychiatrists out there, I´ve had to endure so many (re-)traumatizing interviews for being on disability because psychiatrists here have no clue about complex trauma.
I'm glad this video didn't trigger you. And I hear what you're saying with having to be interviewed over and over again for disability benefits. I can only imagine it must be very draining.
Yesssss! And they're not equipped to bring you back once they do trigger you. All they care about is the information for the rating or decision. I've lost so much time due to insensitive therapists 😥
This is one of many reasons, I'm not rushing to try to get some help dealing with whatever is going on with me right now. I am afraid to bring up a lot of garbage that I have managed to stuff deep down ... which may be why I am having trouble moving on ... and yet, I am too exhausted to take on anything else. and the helpless/fire image Did trigger me which is why I am taking a "read the comments to see if this happened to anyone else" break in the middle to settle myself before finishing the video.
My now retired doctor was a pioneer of EMDR so I’ve had a few sessions. It’s amazing how well it works. At the beginning of this newfound treatment, the doctors were considered quacks. It’s finally recognized as a valid treatment for PTSD, rightfully so.
@@DrTraceyMarks yes, funny how that is. Closed minds back in the day but thank goodness that the results spoke for themselves and we have another tool in the belt to give relief to sufferers. Have you heard of Brainspotting?
As a victim of domestic violence and with a formal diagnosis of PTSD, I can confirm all of this. I had no idea why such memories were so vivid yet there’s been a lot of years since my trauma. Thanks for this video
When I read that childhood abuse rewires the brain, it explained it all. When I'm stressed at work (which is often) my mind goes right to the abuse, I think of it over and over, hear the words, see my mother kicking me in my mind. All while I function normally to those around me. It's exhausting.
I came across this by accident on an event that happened to me when I was 15years old. For over a decade on the anniversary of the event I would relive it. The day this stopped is the day with the help of a friend’s older sister who was a psych graduate I made the connection and I verbalized it and explained what happened and what and how it made me feel. That’s the day this yearly reliving this event stopped. Trauma is deep seated and even generational.
I want to add a caveat: it seems to me the part of the brain that's associated with traumatic memories is directly involved with our emotional states at the time. And while this video isn't about this specifically, I would add that this should include intensely positive emotions, such as love or great joy; memories such as these are also not average, but can be just as powerful or intense, when we think back or randomly remember something we cherished as a child or even as an adult. I imagine in the same way as PTSD, something in real life can trigger a positive reminder of something vividly cherished from the past. And from what I recall personally, it's the same thing: the sights, sounds, textures, smells; like my grandmother's cooking growing up, my first ride on a roller coaster, the anise-flavored mints at a favorite childhood restaurant, the exact movie theater you saw a beloved film and how it made you feel, and other similarly visual, sensory memories that are powerful - and again, when I try to recall actual conversations or narratives, I can't. It's as if the same part of the brain is storing those experiences in the same way.
Since these memories are stored with smells, noises, etc, I understand now how a smell or sound can vividly flashback to a physical/emotional abusive trauma. Your videos are appreciated.
I didn't realize how much i needed to hear all these ..i am sick and tired of people telling me to just get over my past or stop complaining,when I have even been a victim of rape
I had a car accident last year before covid and on my dash cam caught the song I was listening to at the time. Every time I hear that song on the radio I HAVE to remind myself im not in that car accident right now and that the song is just playing and it’s a different day.
I have PTSD I grew up in household where parents always fought. I never felt safe I always experienced fear every weekend was a huge verbal fight. Thanks parents I got mental health issues due to stupid parents that needs help them self.
1. Self preservation driven 2. With proper community this is mitigated best 3. Music or vibration helps with meditation 4. Primary focus 5. System overload 6. "Need to let it go" replace it with new better / exercise 7. Talk to someone new 8. Cannabis & remember the globe is designed by many forms of sincere ideals
I remember being bullied after report a s3xual assault by one of my classmates, they always was throwing my materials, removing me from my table, forcing me to study seated in the ground, no one, even my teacher, which was always saying that doesn't tolerate bullying, helped me. I can't remember those memories without feeling anxious and even if this event happened years ago, i still blame myself: "You destroyed the boy's life", "it's your fault, you should've being quiet", "this boy you reported probably killed himself because of you". Now I fear of reporting a s3xual assault, i don't want this to happen again. And now that I'm searching for trauma, I am motivated to ask for help to improve this situation, I wouldn't call my bad memories of me being bullied a trauma because my brain also convinced me that i wasn't the victim and, by calling it a trauma, i would being disrespectful to people who suffered more than me.
nigthmares from traumatic events are so bad. These are the terrors that wake me up at night, sitting in bed, sometimes whining, crying... but not even having good words for what exactly made me stressed out like that. They are all about the feelings, sometimes very physical, that stay with you even when you are awake. But yes, there is not even a narrative to give, just the panic, the pain etc... And it is so hard to push them back again, not to continue dreaming them all over again during the rest of the night. Thanks for your very insightful video. I kind of thought that these traumatic memories felt so "different", but I did not have words for it or knew the reason either.
I'm triggered constantly. With C-PTSD it's in the little small things of the day even locations I visit or the way the sun hits my face a certain way that was the same as on those specific days can make me go back to 'those moments'.
This. The truly big shock was realizing in my 30s that I lived effectively in a dissociated state in an attempt to compartmentalize emotional and verbal abuse
Even after going through trauma based therapy, I don't think my therapist ever really explained that they are so very different from normal memories. Since I have been a complex or chronic case, much of my memories are traumatic, ie., intrusive, fragmented, and emotional. She kept saying we are trying to get your front brain back online. Now this makes more sense. Thank you, Dr Marks! I actually fight back in my dreams now which is pretty cool.
I'm so glad this helped things click with the front of the brain and back of the brain being out of sync. I'm also glad to see that your dreams are transforming. that is very cool.
Thank you. I fell off a cliff five years ago and was in a coma for three months. But despite all probability, I managed to pull out of the coma, and over the next four years, I learned to talk, walk, write, and play piano again. I remember getting a little depressed after about a year, then really after about four years. It was so bad that time I was diagnosed with depression, bipolar, and anxiety. But none of it felt like the right diagnosis, and none of it was right. Finally, I realized that I was really scared of being trapped in another coma, where sometimes I was minimally conscious, but I couldn’t talk at all. It’s more distressing than I can describe. I was actually properly diagnosed yesterday, and since then, I’ve been allowing myself to be sad about it when I have time. I’ve been ignoring it for so long, but now I just want to feel sad about it. There was so much loneliness. So much pain. So much doubt. And, of course, so much fear. It feels like my emotions are finally releasing a little bit. Thank you for posting this and helping me work through this.
Hope you are doing better🙏 I can relate as I was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks and it was a horrific, scary time. When I came home everything felt so strange, I felt like a stranger in my own home. Was mostly numb for the first few weeks, then angry, then finally I realized I was going through the grieving process and grieving for the loss of who I used to be and who I am after the traumatic experience. I prayed God would help me heal mentally and physically from the experience. My Family was not allowed to be with me at hospital due to gov mandates, so I felt alone, confused, and wondering why no one was with me. I was awake during many hours of the day and felt trapped in my body not able to talk or move. Although they try, my family can’t understand what it was like for me being in a coma, or how scary it was when I was conscious. Unfortunately I was able to hear what many of the nurses said, and it wasn’t usually kind or professional, griping about other nurses & having to clean up a mess again, so never felt like a safe or healing place to be. I lost 16 days of my life and still struggle with not knowing fully what went on during that time & not being able to give consent for treatments I received. Despite all that, I feel there is hope and I am healing everyday. Occasional bad days, but more good than bad. Give yourself time to grieve and process what happened. Writing in a journal really helps. Each day keeps getting a little better. A year ago I would be a mess and having a panic attack just thinking about this, much less typing it out. It still hurts, but the emotions are less intense and most days feels like it happened a lifetime ago, not 2 years. I thank God for his healing and giving me the strength to get through each day. Praying God be with you & comfort you as you continue to heal😊🙏 Take care
@@Rachaelc1776 thank you so much for sharing your story! So much of what you said feels just like what I experienced. Journaling has been so good for me. And I, too, have a much deeper relationship with God now. I’m so grateful that you’ve shared this. I’ve never felt more connected to others than I do right now!
@@TBIhope You’re welcome!😊🙏 Thank you so much for sharing your story as well. It helps to hear from others who have been through similar experiences and to know we are not alone. Hopefully by sharing our stories we can help others find hope and healing. Take care and may God bless you🙏🙏😊
@@dcharith Thank you so much! Still have some very rough days physically, but doing so much better emotionally now😊 I’m very thankful and just feel blessed to be here with my family.
This had slowly been happening to me over the last 6 months I stopped sleeping because of the traumatic memories, and then after 3 nights of no sleep whatsoever 3 weeks ago, I had my first (and hopefully only) episode of mania, and required hospitalization for 10 days with mania with psychotic features, though I never lost touch with reality. I finally have a diagnosis of bipolar 1 and with type 4 “quiet” borderline traits. DBT group therapy and a small dose of a sedating antipsychotic has me back to getting sleep, and right as rain, at least today. 😉
Can you do ane episode on losing a loved one and how a person handles that lose please? I love your videos. I can't afford therapy right now so you are my go-to, thank you!
I don't have PTSD, but I do have a traumatic memory of when my cat passed away. This helped explain why I could "hear" her yowling for a long time afterward. It wasn't like actually physically hearing it, it was more akin to having a song stuck in my head, except horrible.
I feel stupid and embarrassed. I was bullied in high school (mean girl scenario) I'm 57 and I'm affected by it more now than I was then. I didn't defend myself or allow my parents to either. These girls were my friends and I thought they would come around or that the adults would put a stop to it.
It's not dissimilar from the way lots of kids and teens misuse and exaggerate words, based on their relatively limited life experience. And I hear adults talking about trauma in this way too! Though usually they use it to describe much more stressful situations than laundry!
That's MOST Children these days; A Bunch of WEAK UNPUNISHED SPOILED WIMPS. By "WIMPS," I mean something else that starts with the letter "P", ends with the letter "S" and has the letters "USSIE" in the Middle.
Thank you for talking about this. I don’t always have the vocabulary or insight to explain what my thought processes are like and this helped me understand how I am processing my trauma.
I'm so glad to hear that. That's one of the purposes of these videos is to help people understand and know how to talk about what they're experiencing.
What does "processing your emotions" actually mean and how does one do it? I've heard and read about this term in several books but it's never really explained. If you could shed some information about this subject, I'd be very grateful. Thanks 😊👍
I can remember asking my psychologist what 'processing memories' meant when I was starting EMDR, as I really couldn't understand what people actually meant by 'processing'. I don't know if this relates to what you are asking, but I think what Dr Marks said about transforming memories from sensory to verbal (so changes them to more like 'normal' non-traumatic memories which are stored 'verbally'), which can help you to relate to them without the heightened emotion of trauma. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I'd appreciate any other answers to your question too.
Emotional processing happens when an individual experiences an emotionally distressing event and is able to cope with those experiences over time to the extent that new experiences can occur (whether stressful or not) without a return to the previous distress. Basically, every person has experiences that cause fear, extreme sadness, anxiety and depression, but those experiences are temporary for the majority of the population. Some people relive those experiences and return to the distressing feelings over and over again. They are not able to process, or reduce, the emotions associated with those events. These individuals then experience relapse (if a substance was used to cope), night terrors, phobia and other extreme reactions.
It's difficult to explain in just so many words... BUT it IS a process... The over-simplified version is recognizing the emotion for what it is, identifying WHY you feel it, and making whatever adjustment you need to shed yourself of the emotion so it can fade away... It involves the patience to LET it fade away on its own, rather than suppressing it with some inner force or "bottling it" as many of us do when we're afraid to express it... It happens all the time for many people every day. Okay, let's take "Rage" as our "undesired emotion"... AND let's understand processing it from my perspective as a Biker... I see it all the time, and only rarely have to experience it, myself... though there are countless videos you can find to watch and talk through what is versus what SHOULD BE going on... and even a few decent clips of what should be going on... oddly... SO the biker is riding along, and another driver fails to estimate distance and speed of his bike, pulling out into traffic... The Biker sees an imminent crash, and reacts... Adrenaline blasts through his system, because if he doesn't react quickly and properly, he's GOING to slam into the vehicle and probably die... pfft... all over... SO in around a SECOND, he presses his foot to the rear brake WHILE rolling off the throttle with his right hand, and then grasps the front brake with his right fingers putting pressure on it ONLY when the front shocks compress. .. His left hand clasps the clutch and his left toe presses down a gear, WHILE he's pushing on the right handlebar to cause a swerve and lean around BEHIND the vehicle ahead of him, because that's where space is OPENING UP... Releasing the clutch, he then presses with his left hand to smoothly travel from right lean to left lean to get back to his original lane, and away from danger, continuing to add pressure to his front brake as his right foot raises from the rear, and clutching again, his toe shifts down into first gear, as he comes to a stop... BUT the adrenaline is already discharged... He was very nearly killed by a negligent (in his perspective) driver who pulled out and cut him off... Processing... Rage is a self preservation emotion... The instinct is to get violent and deal with the threat... AND it comes at the onset of a massive "hit" of adrenaline... This isn't just a jump scare in a movie or haunted house attraction, it's a full on YOU ARE DEAD IN 2 SECONDS IF YOU DO NOT ACT level hit of adrenaline. It's not going away in a couple seconds. We are not a series of "lamp switches" in our emotions... They're all "dimmer" switches run by the onset and eventual metabolism of biochemicals... SO whether "appropriate" in society's opinion or not, Rage is a perfectly normal and natural response when it FEELS like someone just tried to kill you... whether that was their intention or not... THe biker naturally FEELS pissed off... This is why we invented "cussing"... AND a fountain of filthy insults and prophanities explode from the biker as he maneuvers his bike to a stop... Right then and there, he actually WANTS to hurt the driver... It's natural, even as malicious as it sounds... BUT here's where processing comes in... He's allowed himself to express his anger, rather than rush to violence upon the driver... He's stopped his bike, rather than take off or turn back to attack or do something equally stupid. Instead, the biker reminds himself... Motorcycles are difficult to estimate in distance and speed. It's a bright day, but there's just so much glare from so many shiny things... Nobody wants to mess up their own vehicle. The guy in the car doesn't even know the biker... Why would he just randomly want to do that to a stranger... AND the biker reminds himself to breathe... He knows he's not really going to murder anyone. As satisfying as it sounded in his head at the time, it would be a very short lived "victory" and then there's the mess, court, police, witnesses, and prison... SO he puts anger aside... WHY was he so angry? He needed ACTION IMMEDIATELY... Anger acts to preserve him.... AND what causes him to need preservation? A threat... In those moments of processing, the biker realizes, he's not really angry at all. He's scared to DEATH... He's got all the symptoms, too.... cold sweat... heart racing... dry mouth... almost immediately a flash-back to the instants of the ride, the car, the near crash, the maneuver around it... He looks over his shoulder and there's the vehicle pulling past traffic and stopping on the side of the road... The biker takes another breath... and his heart is starting to slow a little... It's still fast, but not racing. His chest isn't as tight, and he manages a U-turn onto the same shoulder some distance away from the other vehicle. By the time he's parked, only a fraction of a minute after their incident, the driver is already getting out of his car, and he's approaching with a hand up and a genuine look of concern on his face... "Dude, I didn't even see you there! Are you okay?" The driver asks... "Yeah," The Biker nods. "Im good. Glad I got my brakes checked last week, though..." They shake hands and that's that... the healthy processing of Rage... You're sorting out your thoughts from emotions and reaching a conclusion to let the emotional state go for the next one to come along on its own... We don't talk so much about "lighter" emotions being processed, because we allow ourselves to express those instantly. It's okay to laugh... What makes society an often toxic thing is this dubious and disingenuous idealism that certain emotions, anger, sadness, and the like, to be inappropriate because we don't enjoy them... "If you laugh, the world laughs with you. If you cry, you cry alone."... AND it's tempting to suppress emotions, instead of express them... BUT when we suppress our emotional states, we turn them into stress... and it can get extremely toxic... There are lots of other ways (rather than just a breathing exercise and self reflection) to process them, therapists have many coping mechanisms and exercises that can help, too. BUT this is an overly simplified "step by step" approximate description of it as a function in a scene I've seen played out many MANY times... It's not always so simple, but this is also ONLY a YT comment, and plenty long enough to get the "rough" idea... Hope it helps. ;o)
I dont know if this is right. I am in no way a professional or educated in this matter. I only have years of experience in therapy and dealing with my traumatic memories. I believe this isn't something someone can just do, like it isn't a code or command you'd give a computer. It's something that we don't control, it can happen on its own over time as the wounds begin to heal and we begin to let things go. But we can also do some things to trick our brains into "processing" an event. The therapies she listed are all excellent options, and my boyfriend also did some exposure therapy for his traumatic memories. It is just when you get to a place where you can recall a memory without enlisting that huge emotional spike. When someone represses their trauma or doesn't confront it, it often leads to those PTSD symptoms she was talking about. You have no control over them popping up nor any control over your emotional response. But after going through EMDR, I recall those memories that caused panic attacks without causing those kinds of emotional reactions. Those memories don't just pop up randomly; the "trigger" isn't really there anymore. It's not these memories don't elicit an emotional response; I have just gotten to a place where I can control and regulate my responses to them. EMDR was the hardest thing I have ever done but also the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
The simple answer is to feel the trauma feelings stored in your body/mind. You have repressed/depressed these feelings. How to process is the next question: EMDR, therapy with a good therapist & trauma informed, journaling, yoga, meditation, fasting, spending time in nature or with pets, body work, micro-dosing psychedelics, etc.
I just turned 70 and my infancy and childhood traumas are deeply etched in my brain 🧠 after decades of therapy I’ve accomplished much with the help of some quality therapists, I’m so grateful ‘ but nothing can remove those horrible traumatic memories or experiences . I wish there was a way to truly single out those traumatic intrusive thoughts while leaving the glorious memories intact . Just wishing out loud. Thank you so much for helping me. EMDR has helped me greatly.
Makes so much sense - with me I have been through many traumas from childhood to adulthood! Say I have to have all my lights on and freak out if I get low on food and low on funds because when abandoned as a child we had no food no lights! I am terrified of the bathtub to take a bath vs shower because one of my abusers would put me in the tub after abusing me saying he was taking the boo boo's away! I hate the thought of using it I try drawing a bubble bath for years and never am able to get in it! I was molested by an old man and still even thinking or seeing one gives me anxiety I could go on but this makes so much sense thanks as always darling
So much useful information here! A lot of children who grew up in dysfunctional homes are dealing with post traumatic issues which affect them in their adult relationships and they do not know! Dr. Marks please do a video on this issue 🙏🏽 Thanks as always for the great information.
EMDR was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was one the hardest, it was raw, and the aftermath had its own struggles. I'd walk out of the appointment feeling lighter and freer, but as my mind began to process, I became tired and extremely sensitive, like I couldn't control my emotional responses to things. It was like my period but 100x worse. I didn't understand until I talked to a friend who also did EMDR. She said that she experienced the same thing, and it is just your mind processing everything. After things became more manageable, I slowly got to a place where I could forgive. But I give people a warning do not take trauma therapy lightly. It's challenging, and if you aren't ready to confront things and relive them, it could make it worse. You have to be ready to move on, not in a way that means suppressing it but actually working through it.
Hi, came across this video and your comment as I’m in prep work to start EDMR soon. Were you able to keep working while going through the after-effects of EMDR that you’re describing? I’m considering whether I should ask for days off work to complete the therapy but not sure if this is necessary. Thanks!
When I was very young somewhere between the age of 6-8 we were taken by the school on a field trip, to a house of fallen victims that were attacked and many passed away during Sadam’s invasion. It was a wreck filled with the remnants of that attack. I don’t know why they took us there at a very young age but I remember everything so vividly, and the house had a perfumed smell that I can still smell it to this day. And it’s been over 20 years since then. I never understood why it stuck with me because it was the one thing I truly wanted to forget. I know this is trivial compared to trauma experiences that many of us if not all have experienced. But this shows how people can easily be traumatized, and that we should handle each other with care.
Wow; thank you for posting this! I really appreciate how clearly and accurately you describe how traumatic memories are stored and manifest, etc. So few people understand this. Do you ever provide expert testimony in court? A lot of people who experience trauma as a crime victim are disbelieved when what they remember is fragmented or out of sequence in a timeline. But what you say about the consistency of what they DO remember makes so much sense.
Great video! We almost lost our youngest in a preventable accident. The memories of that day are so vivid and emotional. That event changed the way I parented and changed my relationship with my husband. I wish we had started family therapy and dealt with the trauma when my children were younger, they deserved better than an anxiety driven mom and angry dad.
This explains so much. I see myself as a logical person so, when I had trauma responses to people doing things that were very much uncalled for, I assumed that I was angry at the people, and why wouldn't I? So I've been trying to focus on the people that have wronged me. After watching this video, I realize that it's not them that I have the most trauma from, but a significant other that didn't see the behavior as a big deal and thought I was over reacting. This broken trust is what has caused the most pain. Thank you for helping me shed light on this.
Listening to you explain all of this was like a light bulb moment for me! Now I understand why I am so angry and lose it at the slightest thing! To be honest I’ve never really understood what qualified as “trauma” or “PTSD” other then an accident, someone being killed or war but after watching several of your videos on trauma I’ve come to think that I may have had a “traumatic” life but I’m scratching my head if I have, then why I don’t have the “vivid flashbacks” or upsetting memories about any of my life? I think I may have just accepted this is what my life is and it’s not going to get any better. What keeps me up at night is the constant worrying about money, or rather the lack of it! I’m up to my ears in debit and can’t ever see a way out except for either winning the Lottery, which is never going to happen to me or going to sleep permanently. I grew up with an alcoholic father who would regularly come home drunk and beat my Mama. When I was old enough to understand what he was doing I would climb up on to my Mama’s lap to try to stop my father from hitting her. That’s when he started hitting me. My Mama and I went through life like this for years. This was well before the police could charge someone with “domestic violence” without the wife/husband having to press charges. I do remember one time I called the police and asked them to come and help my Mama but when they left both my Mama and I received an even more severe beating so I never asked for help again! This continued into my teenage years. Then when I was 17 I had a major motorcycle accident (some idiot thought he could drive drunk!) which resulted in me losing a leg and permanently damaging the other one. Still the beatings continued just not as frequently because he was getting older. This continued until I had managed to save up enough money to move out and take my Mama with me! As I got older I did have problems with trusting men and didn’t have very many “relationships” but it never bothered me and preferred being on my own. However, I did eventually meet someone “special” when I was in my 30’s. We got got on so well, it turned out his last girlfriend was the same as my father so he knew and understood why I didn’t trust most men. Anyway we bought a property together and started making a life together. We got married and had a son, when our son was 8 weeks old my husband was diagnosed with cancer, he died when our son was 4 years old. My Mama died 8 months later and then 2 weeks before our first Christmas without both of them I received a letter from the mortgage company advising me they were going to start the repossession process on our property because unfortunately my husband didn’t have life insurance and I couldn’t afford the mortgage on my own. I have regular episodes of angry outbursts usually when someone or something scares me. My response is to shout at that person or lash out and smash something. It also happens if someone is rushing me or hounding me for something, also if I’m trying to find something. I become very angry very quickly and end up throwing things around or smashing things up and at that exact moment in time I can’t stop, I have tried but I feel like my chest/body is going to explode! One of my most frequent outbursts is when my son is play fighting with our dogs, I keep telling him to stop but he just ignores me. This makes my blood boil and at the same time my heart is in my mouth and my chest is pounding and I feel really scared that the dogs will bite him. Then our dogs will bark really loudly and normally right behind me which makes me jump out of my skin. This is when I completely lose it and scream at them at of the top of my voice to stop! Just thinking about these situations, gives me a tight feeling in my chest! I know this may sound awful but to be honest I have accepted this is my life and it’s never going to change. I don’t want another boyfriend/partner/husband. I just want to be left alone.
EMDR was a great tool to remove the negative feeling that would surface when I thought of those events. I can now think about it or watch that content on TV, and not feel physical pain such as: anxiety, fear, tension and paranoia . EMDR was not easy in the sense of just following the light. I cried, while reliving the events and felt the anxiety and pain in my body while following the lights. I recommend to schedule those sessions after work, you'll be fine after the session ends, but very drained and exhausted. I always napped after the EMDR session or went for a walk alone.
For the longest time I’ve been beating my self up for not getting over my dad’s death,he had cancer and it was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through because seeing my loved one’s health deteriorate so badly while being helpless was so painful . But I didn’t think it counted as a traumatic event even though I keep relieving those memories everywhere all the time. It’s nice to finally put a name to what I’m going through
I've been going through a rough patch. I've been remembering childhood trauma memories as vividly as it happened and am upset I can't remember good memories, even up to my Vegas trip i took this year I barely remember. 💔
I functioned when the memories were blocked. Today at 70 years of age, it doesn't take much to have all the feelings spiral into fear, doubt, mistrust of everyone. And my housing is unstable, again. I can't be around people. I'm on the board of directors now for the local homeless program and determined to help other board members and more importantly the staff working with clients understand how really hard it is to just reach out for help, how to fit into housing without being kicked out. I can relate with people I meet through NCH and at the national level because they get it, but in a rural area like this- they don't even think they need permanent supportive housing or mental health treatment available. They forget about the guy hiding under the bridge and the old lady in the car parked behind the semi's at the truck stop. The person who lost their job and house because of Covid can be fit right back into any apt. But not the survivor of child abuse who never fit right in, anywhere. And they are not going to recover while in the streets.
Awesome video ! It wish you would have also mentioned that for CPTSD, the flashbacks are mostly emotional without a sensory component, which makes traumatized people not even aware they are in a flashback nor that it's not really happening. They truly feel and believe it's something that is happening currently and always find a current time cause for it. I think this is a key detail that has huge impacts. But it's great that you have a video comparing cptsd with PTSD. Also thanks for removing the sound effects on the video it really helps to focus on what you say. (Also i would be traumatized if i see my dog barking at me for help and i can't help her/him 🐕😥)
Thank you this Video was very helpful to understand how traumatised people feel and to understand them. Whenever I heard someone say they were traumatised by something I struggled with understanding why they cant move on and why it's so different to normal memories. This video helped me to understand them a lot better, greetings from Germany :)
I was emotionally and sexually abused by my mother. This video helps me understand what I go through and why I can be so easily triggered. So many times when I try to put words to my hurts I get invalidated--"Your mother really loved you, she just didnt express it well." Or, "You have to stop using your past to justify _____" (maybe some triggered outburst). The pain grabs me almost every day when something sets me off. I grew up under so much fear and terror because even as a teen my idol would tell me things like she would kill herself because we children didnt love her enough. It was manipulation and endless punishment. She loved to hurt us. And now it's been over 10 years since I even heard her voice--she still finds a way to re-traumatize me every day. I'm so grateful for you, Dr Marks for helping to at least validate me. I'm not totally alone--you at least understand it's hard. I just sent the link to this video to most of my friends I hope will watch and understand and grant me some grace when I'm hard to deal with....
I had to revisit this video because it gave me information that came in use shortly thereafter. Today is my daughter’s 9th birthday and she came to me crying because she could not stop having a sad memory. It was intrusive. It came to her and she could not shake it. Her memory has changed me. I’m shaken to the core. I’m traumatized that I can be present and available yet my child still be violated
Nice, thanks! I broke my arm in 2001 when I was in the Military. I still remember everything as if it is happening right now. That trauma haunts me every day but I never went to any Psychologist to find out if I have PTSD or not.
Honestly the last symptom reminds me of the time I got robbed at gunpoint because my mom's car broke down in a neighborhood i wasn't particularly fond of in the later hours of the night. Fortunately nothing happened to me except for losing a lot of expensive equipment but i still want no part of that car The issue wasn't even that big. The petrol gauge stopped working so it didn't measure how much petrol was in car correctly, so even though the gauge was halfway full, i was driving dangerously close to an empty tank for a very long time until the car finally stopped moving. Its been half a decade since then, and the car has been fixed and drive perfectly well. But I cant drive it, i just can't get into that car. There has been a lot of important and vital things that I've had to tell my mom no to doing because I can't bring myself to get into that car, it's made me feel really bad at time but it's something I don't budge on. Shame too, since its actually a beautiful car, but i cant bring myself to get in it at all...
Hi, Dr. Marks! I was just evaluated by a psychiatrist and will be seeing a therapist soon. I’ve suspected that I’ve had PTSD for about a year now, but didn’t receive that diagnosis. Since then I’ve questioned whether or not the event I experienced was traumatic, so I want to thank you for validating my feelings by saying that a PTSD diagnosis is not required to classify an event traumatic. I love your channel. Keep it up!
I have complex PTSD, and I’m also on the autism spectrum, and I have a physical handicap. I lived in an environment for almost 10 years, where I had a parent who was very abusive in many ways. I’m now out of that environment, but I downplay my situation by saying, it could’ve been worse. People have had it worse than me. Whenever I’m having flashbacks, I feel as if I’m not allowed to verbally communicate my emotions because I feel like my situation isn’t valid enough. I’m constantly telling myself, you better get over yourself. What is your problem? That was almost 6 years ago. Change overnight already! I even try bottling my emotions and feelings up and denying the fact that I’m struggling. Because I refuse to let the other people in the house carry the burden of my problems!
Thank you. For me what I try and do is think of how vast the mind is and try to see it like the universe. With all these different thoughts that i am capable of. Then how small the memories and trauma thoughts are; how they are tucked away in this compartment. Sometimes it works.
This was actually pretty informative. I have a diagnosis of PTSD due to severe abuse as a child and some pretty awful experiences with a few foster homes up until I was 11. All my memories are pretty fragmented and I don't have a clear picture of any of my memories, I can't remember the good or the bad. Sure I've remembered a few bad memories and a lot of good memories have resurfaced, but I can't help but feel helpless. It's the not remembering while my two younger and equally as traumatized younger siblings can remember all of it. A lot of feels misplaced in terms of time frames, like I can't remember how old I was when a lot of it happened. I can't remember when we moved, but we bounced around a lot. This video helped to clarify some things for me so thank you for the information 🙂
I have memory fragments. I keep seeing pictures that I suspect is sexual abuse from a family member. I would see those fragments pop into my mind over the years and at first I just ignored it not even giving it a second thought. Then one day I asked myself why is this happening. One fragment I kept seeing was me at a festival that's it. So I felt safe asking mom if something bad happened there. She took a deep breath and said my sisters boyfriend got severely beaten. Then I remembered being terrified and the guy that beat him up smiled at me because he knew I was scared. I think that reason, him smiling was the reason I blocked it out. The brain is beautiful, it helps us survive
Dr Tracy I want to thank you so much for your rewire your nightmares script because I've had no more nightmares of being trapped in the psych ward since doing that!
You have it. You have what you need to achieve all of your goals. It's time to quite looking for what you don't have, and put your full attention on what you do have. It's time to bring out the best version of yourself, so that everyone around you can grow too.
Rather informative and matched my experience recovering from bullying in a toxic job. You are right in that the memories are non-verbal; the parts I sort of remember are the fear and panic from the supervisors yelling at me, but I don't really remember what was actually being said. One strange sensation I had during my processing was how those memories started to lose their lucidity to my everyday function. I told my therapist that it sort of felt like waking up from a very vivid dream, where you have to sift through what was reality and what was the dream.
Thank you Dr Tracey! I knew that trauma memories are different. Most say to just let it go! I’ve tried and these memories just pop in. Jean Chaney Placenti🥰
Thank you so much because this is what im living now. two years of fighting for my life i remember nothing but the horror. every light, sound, taste, smell. i am trying to process it all and come to terms with it all. I know i will never be completely well ever again but I know I will be sick. its the mental part that is worse than the physical.
I remember the trips to... my uncle making me do things. The road, the people sitting at the lights, their faces looking at my struggle and not seeing. I see them at the same intersection, still, not knowing, on the way back. I remember, all my life, trying not to remember. I still remember, but not the middle part, which makes me advocate for other's still 50 years later. I dont blame those at lights, but I'm that one watching...always, at lights, at places they dont realize. I see, I say.
Thank you so much 🙏🏾 I was molested by 2 people at the same time: I knew one (Johnnie) and the other I didn't but they were friends. I can't remember what Johnnie friend looked like. I always thought it was "odd" that I couldn't remember this face but this somewhat puts me at ease.
I think it's a survival mechanism that gets out of control. It's designed to keep you safe but it can get stuck in a nasty feedback loop that keeps reinforcing itself. You touch the hot stove and you get burned by it. You learn not to touch the hot stove But you get so traumatized by touching the hot stove that you become fearful of hot stoves instead of is learning not to touch the hot stove.
Wow, I’m so glad you showed up in my feed, you didn’t just knock it out of the park, you knocked it off the planet. From the bottom of my cold black heart, thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Marks; you always offer valuable information to us. Well, now I am traumatised by hearing about the helpless, abandoned dog stuck in the house; adding on that the firemen later rescued the dog did not reduce the horror. Your story reminds me of a news report about a man who escaped his burning house, then realised that his beloved kitty was stuck in there. Because he loved her so much, he bravely went back in to rescue her, and he died in the fire while trying to save her life. That was a few decades back; to this day, I still think of his great love for an innocent, helpless being; he will always live on in many hearts, inclusive of mine.
Ah, this explains why I get so emotional when I feel someone or something at work wasn't right. I had co-workers who ignored policy they didn't like. I however felt upset by this. If I didn't agree with it, it bothered me but I tried to comply. I would be upset though because I just didnt feel comfortable working around these people. I also didn't like being put into a position where I had to be the one to speak up about it because I was asked to do so. This created conflict. Which makes my anxiety rise up. I can feel my heart racing and my breathing become more difficult. Later, sometimes for weeks, I have to try hard not to dwell on it. I want to work in this field. I just am finding it so painful. Especially if someone isn't doing their job. I get really upset. I am not use to seeing this so much but it is more common in childcare than I imagined it to be. Hopefully, I can find a place I am happy working at. It is painful to work. Mentally painful though to not work outside of the home too.
I was actually in a house fire, the neighbor fell asleep with candles on and nearly burned down the building. Nobody was harmed, not even the neighbor, we were really lucky. when I smell smoke I still get flashbacks
Thank you for explaining the verbal vs nonverbal memories. It's ben so hard to describe why these memories are so sharp yet impossible for me to put into a narrative. That information feels like a weight off
I was assaulted very young by my stepfather and I told my mom, but for the life of me I can't remember what she said, I do know that she stayed married to him for 5 more years after I told her. Y can't I remember?!
The smell of cigarette smoke is definitely a trigger for me!! I remember I had to get a car rental and the car smelled of heavy smoke and every time I opened the door to get in I would immediately feel sick and nauseous and my heart rate would increase.
Yes as a 60 year old male, I have frequently had memories of what I sense as failures in my life. That was decades ago when they happened and I recall as though it was just yesterday. I want to let it go.
Can you please talk about the aspects of chronic pain when it comes to suicidal ideation, guilt, depression, and hopelessness. Especially with invisible illnesses like EDS, arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc, bc there's so many that don't know you're ill or believe you're ill because they can't physically see it. I've battled suicidal ideation for over 30 years due to pain and always thought I was alone in this, only to find recently that it's very common. It would be so helpful to have someone professional explain it for the heathy that don't understand and for us so we know we're not alone 🥰
Thank you instead of me trying to explain why my children hood abuse I just cant pretend it never happened or forget about it. This happens by many people who call themselves Christians more than any other group. I have gone to therapy and forgiven those who abuse me. Unlike most survivors I had never blamed myself.
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That was a very helpful video, Dr Marks. It helps me understand why sometimes the smell of something, or the sound, gives me such intense feelings. Then I panic, or cry, or go ballistic, and I have no idea why.
“One of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is developing a negative outlook about your life or yourself” - I actually didn’t know that. Very useful information.
i have that too 😢
Chocolate rainnn 😩
It's cool that you watch her videos. She is awesome.
Some stay dry, while others… feel the pain.
For a while I thought I was damaged goods who nobody would or even could love. I’m so glad I got help.
I’m relieved to hear that bullying can also cause this. I have a lot of memories from elementary and middle school when my classmates would bully me and I never understood why I could recall these memories so well or why they will randomly pop into my head.
I was bullied for most of my childhood, so i could already have told you that. I know it well. :/. I’m in my 40s and am still trying to get over it and try to forgive people.
Yeah for me I wish I had gotten therapy in my younger yrs
Yea same I’m fucked up from it I honestly think I have BDD from the bullying
I was also bullied few times, it's hard for me to stay in school now, I dropped out of college twice. I'm doing EMRD therapy. It's helping me feel free again.
My entire childhood I was overweight.. I would get picked on constantly in Elementary school, and middle school was even worse. I would stay after school until 4 to avoid all the older kids who hungout at the bottom of the street. I was petrified because I would get jumped at least once a week. The school didn't care at all, and my parents just weren't parents.
Fast forward 23 years.. Now a professional Bodybuilder, model, and I have the worst self esteem you can imagine.
Traumatic memories vs regular memories are amazingly different and noticeable. When I went to the doctor and he washed his hands and came over to examine me, I started to have a panic attack from the smell of the medical soap on his hands. It caused the traumatic memory of my mom being sick and dying in the hospital. It’s amazing to learn that this sensory memory has been stored in a different part of my brain. Thank you, Dr. Tracey Marks!
You're so welcome. The brain is so complex. I'm sorry you had that experience with your mom.
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you!
Thanks for sharing.
This reminded me of when I was in the hospital and washed my hands and they happened to use the same soap that was used at the psych ward I'd stayed at for only 13 days but the memory was so strong I teared up immediately when I smelled it and almost had a panic attack. I can't even tell you how I knew the smell was the same but I knew it was. Thankfully I have good coping mechanisms and have been working through the trauma that happened to me at the psych ward.
I have nightmares about being hit as a kid.
But I've started dreaming about fighting back against the people who hurt me.
That may be a sign that you’re processing and healing. I used to have nightmares about my abusive ex hurting me, and then the dreams would began to evolve into me just seeing him and being afraid, then I started to have dreams where I would see him and cuss him out, then eventually I got to the lace where I would see him and walk past him without him triggering me. This happens over a course of 10 years and with therapy and lots of interventions. If you can seek helps from a GOOD licensed therapist, I recommend it. Hang in there.
@@nicolemccray8095 yeah it's my parents trying to hurt me and I'm like, *nope* and start swinging. I've woke myself up pounding the wall in my sleep.
@@drrocketman7794 Maybe a sign you’re healing and taking your power back in your life right now. 🤷🏽♀️ Best Wishes to you.
That sounds like progress. Some people in therapy will be able to successfully change the narrative of their dreams.
@@DrTraceyMarks I'd love to figure out how to do that. I STILL tend toward violent nightmares if I dont self medicate 😟
I had the same dream over and over from the time I was 5 years old until I was 33 years old. It was a very vivid dream where I could smell all the smells and physically feel all the emotions. It wasn’t until I was 32 when I started going to therapy that I learned they were memories from being molested as a 1-3 year old. I was diagnosed with ptsd.
So sorry that happened to you...
@@rochwilliams4626 thank you❤️
Thanks for sharing this and im glad you were able to get the answer to this repetitive dream. Some cant come to this realization because the traumatic event occurred at a much younger age which can often lead to a person feeling that maybe theyre making things up but the body says otherwise.
That is called implicit memory. Memory formed prior to language by infants/toddlers that is stored without words but sensory input like sound, smell, images, feelings, etc.
please, can you tell me more about those dreams, that sounds a lot like my dreams ive been having my whole life and I cannoct decode them :(
The most terrible thing is body memories. You wake up in the middle of the night , suffocating /gasping for air- because you drowned, your face burning - because your shields were torched, your ears ache - for the pressure blast, your eyes tear - for the summon flashes...
It has no cognitive memories.
It hurts so much.
You dont want to sleep.
"You have to feel to heal." - Iyanla Vanzant
Feel the trauma feelings stored in your body/mind. You have repressed/depressed these feelings.
How to process is the next question: EMDR, therapy with a GOOD therapist & trauma informed, journaling, yoga, meditation, fasting, spending time in nature or with pets, body work, micro-dosing psychedelics, etc.
@@TestTest-ft9xh thank you for your kind reply. Very insightful.
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As a victim of assault, you absolutely nailed this, I still get triggered and have flashbacks, and they’re just as vivid, if not more clear, each time I experience them. It’s awful.
You are not alone
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "its been in the back of my mind for awhile"
I have a lot of these thoughts, especially blaming a person for not doing. protecting, saying something when I feel an injustice has happened. I think it goes back to childhood neglect and abuse. Thank you for this video. It just clicked how therapy works and why it's important to talk or write about it, since the brain will process it differently and have more control over it, just made sense to me and more important, I will continue to seek therapy instead of just suffering in silence. Appreciate your videos.
I totally have that anger too. It's almost like I blame her more.
Exactly Inner Monk. I'm glad you had that epiphany. It's not easy to keep going with something if you don't see the value or understand why it works.
Hugs. I also find it particularly traumatic when people don’t intervene, or worse- laugh, etc.
@@aenigmatica8 me too…….!!
@@Imani_Aaliyah__ I could have written this comment myself. Have you heard of reparenting? Something to do with offering yourself what your inner child hasn't received...
It's funny how I'm in therapy for this, yet not even my therapist knows how to really handle C-PTSD outside of traditional PTSD treatment. Trauma isn't just the one event, it's an amalgamation of emotions, thoughts and experiences and that last part is key. Violence at ANY age is traumatic, but has anyone ever asked how "real world" violence affects people at certain ages? Like say, oh, a baby with memories of watching their father beat their mother. The mother screams, getting the baby's attention to look up from their peaceful playtime only to be faced with chaos. I remember seeing the hallway receed and feeling being dropped onto the kitchen counter as my 7 year old sister at the time cried on the olive green corded phone, calling the police. How do I remember it was the cops? Because I recognized the blue & red lights flashing through the kitchen window and the officers coming in to take my dad away...but they never did. My mother kept letting that monster back in, but she didn't realize how she was being monstrous herself which brought out my father's ire who BOTH took it out on my sister in the WORST ways possible and it all trickled down to me. Ask me my story sometime.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm sending you my best wishes
Hi there. I have a similarity childhood.. lots of violence and abuse. I am a survivor of intimate partner abuse as well. Good Therapy can help so much.
Thank you for those who liked this as I have an update that'll make red pill YT gag: I spoke to my father and learned that my mother lied about everything and gaslit me so badly that she had me convinced that my father was an abusive pedophile when in reality she and my older sister came up with the whole plot all the while trying to divorce my father who was, in all honesty, just as controlling and narcissistic as they were combined, just not as physically violent as they were. When you ask me about my story, please bare with me as I'm still trying to get the facts strwhile enjoying my happily ever after.
Imagine being a refugee and having to talk about your traumas correctly or you won't be believed and sent back.
Thank you so much for the fire-example. I was so afraid of something extremely triggering and you did such a great job to not trigger most traumatized people with choosing such an uncommon yet easy to understand example. It´s great to see that there are trauma informed psychiatrists out there, I´ve had to endure so many (re-)traumatizing interviews for being on disability because psychiatrists here have no clue about complex trauma.
i dunno, i would try to summon one of my imaginary friends into those traumatic experiences.
I'm glad this video didn't trigger you. And I hear what you're saying with having to be interviewed over and over again for disability benefits. I can only imagine it must be very draining.
Yesssss! And they're not equipped to bring you back once they do trigger you. All they care about is the information for the rating or decision. I've lost so much time due to insensitive therapists 😥
This is one of many reasons, I'm not rushing to try to get some help dealing with whatever is going on with me right now. I am afraid to bring up a lot of garbage that I have managed to stuff deep down ... which may be why I am having trouble moving on ... and yet, I am too exhausted to take on anything else.
and the helpless/fire image Did trigger me which is why I am taking a "read the comments to see if this happened to anyone else" break in the middle to settle myself before finishing the video.
Oh my gosh even the story of the dog stuck inside of a burning house is a traumatic imagery for any dog owner
Yes, I cringed every time she mentioned it. Now I’ve got that image stuck inside my head😬😬😬
My now retired doctor was a pioneer of EMDR so I’ve had a few sessions. It’s amazing how well it works. At the beginning of this newfound treatment, the doctors were considered quacks. It’s finally recognized as a valid treatment for PTSD, rightfully so.
Yes it's been around for a while but was considered fringe for many years.
@@DrTraceyMarks yes, funny how that is. Closed minds back in the day but thank goodness that the results spoke for themselves and we have another tool in the belt to give relief to sufferers.
Have you heard of Brainspotting?
I'm doing EMRD therapy too. I have had one session so far, but made alot of difference.
@@belle3055 very expensive. Can’t afford it, so I just have to live with the damage. 😞
@@crankyoldperson6871 yh. It's a bit expensive. My parents are paying it.
As a victim of domestic violence and with a formal diagnosis of PTSD, I can confirm all of this. I had no idea why such memories were so vivid yet there’s been a lot of years since my trauma. Thanks for this video
When I read that childhood abuse rewires the brain, it explained it all. When I'm stressed at work (which is often) my mind goes right to the abuse, I think of it over and over, hear the words, see my mother kicking me in my mind. All while I function normally to those around me. It's exhausting.
I came across this by accident on an event that happened to me when I was 15years old. For over a decade on the anniversary of the event I would relive it. The day this stopped is the day with the help of a friend’s older sister who was a psych graduate I made the connection and I verbalized it and explained what happened and what and how it made me feel. That’s the day this yearly reliving this event stopped. Trauma is deep seated and even generational.
I want to add a caveat: it seems to me the part of the brain that's associated with traumatic memories is directly involved with our emotional states at the time. And while this video isn't about this specifically, I would add that this should include intensely positive emotions, such as love or great joy; memories such as these are also not average, but can be just as powerful or intense, when we think back or randomly remember something we cherished as a child or even as an adult. I imagine in the same way as PTSD, something in real life can trigger a positive reminder of something vividly cherished from the past. And from what I recall personally, it's the same thing: the sights, sounds, textures, smells; like my grandmother's cooking growing up, my first ride on a roller coaster, the anise-flavored mints at a favorite childhood restaurant, the exact movie theater you saw a beloved film and how it made you feel, and other similarly visual, sensory memories that are powerful - and again, when I try to recall actual conversations or narratives, I can't. It's as if the same part of the brain is storing those experiences in the same way.
ive definitely experienced these myself!! great point!
Since these memories are stored with smells, noises, etc, I understand now how a smell or sound can vividly flashback to a physical/emotional abusive trauma. Your videos are appreciated.
I didn't realize how much i needed to hear all these ..i am sick and tired of people telling me to just get over my past or stop complaining,when I have even been a victim of rape
Easy for them to say...
I am sorry you were maliciously abused. Of course that would traumatize anyone.
Incredible how the brain stores and responds to different kinds of experiences and memories! thank you as always Dr. Marks 🙏 😊
Yes it is incredible. Thanks a lot Dr. Justin
I had a car accident last year before covid and on my dash cam caught the song I was listening to at the time. Every time I hear that song on the radio I HAVE to remind myself im not in that car accident right now and that the song is just playing and it’s a different day.
I have PTSD I grew up in household where parents always fought. I never felt safe I always experienced fear every weekend was a huge verbal fight. Thanks parents I got mental health issues due to stupid parents that needs help them self.
1. Self preservation driven
2. With proper community this is mitigated best
3. Music or vibration helps with meditation
4. Primary focus
5. System overload
6. "Need to let it go" replace it with new better / exercise
7. Talk to someone new
8. Cannabis & remember the globe is designed by many forms of sincere ideals
I remember being bullied after report a s3xual assault by one of my classmates, they always was throwing my materials, removing me from my table, forcing me to study seated in the ground, no one, even my teacher, which was always saying that doesn't tolerate bullying, helped me.
I can't remember those memories without feeling anxious and even if this event happened years ago, i still blame myself: "You destroyed the boy's life", "it's your fault, you should've being quiet", "this boy you reported probably killed himself because of you".
Now I fear of reporting a s3xual assault, i don't want this to happen again.
And now that I'm searching for trauma, I am motivated to ask for help to improve this situation, I wouldn't call my bad memories of me being bullied a trauma because my brain also convinced me that i wasn't the victim and, by calling it a trauma, i would being disrespectful to people who suffered more than me.
I hear self blame and incorrectly taking responsibility for someone else’s chosen evil.
nigthmares from traumatic events are so bad. These are the terrors that wake me up at night, sitting in bed, sometimes whining, crying... but not even having good words for what exactly made me stressed out like that. They are all about the feelings, sometimes very physical, that stay with you even when you are awake. But yes, there is not even a narrative to give, just the panic, the pain etc... And it is so hard to push them back again, not to continue dreaming them all over again during the rest of the night.
Thanks for your very insightful video. I kind of thought that these traumatic memories felt so "different", but I did not have words for it or knew the reason either.
I'm triggered constantly. With C-PTSD it's in the little small things of the day even locations I visit or the way the sun hits my face a certain way that was the same as on those specific days can make me go back to 'those moments'.
This. The truly big shock was realizing in my 30s that I lived effectively in a dissociated state in an attempt to compartmentalize emotional and verbal abuse
Even after going through trauma based therapy, I don't think my therapist ever really explained that they are so very different from normal memories. Since I have been a complex or chronic case, much of my memories are traumatic, ie., intrusive, fragmented, and emotional. She kept saying we are trying to get your front brain back online. Now this makes more sense. Thank you, Dr Marks! I actually fight back in my dreams now which is pretty cool.
I'm so glad this helped things click with the front of the brain and back of the brain being out of sync. I'm also glad to see that your dreams are transforming. that is very cool.
Thank you. I fell off a cliff five years ago and was in a coma for three months. But despite all probability, I managed to pull out of the coma, and over the next four years, I learned to talk, walk, write, and play piano again.
I remember getting a little depressed after about a year, then really after about four years. It was so bad that time I was diagnosed with depression, bipolar, and anxiety. But none of it felt like the right diagnosis, and none of it was right. Finally, I realized that I was really scared of being trapped in another coma, where sometimes I was minimally conscious, but I couldn’t talk at all. It’s more distressing than I can describe. I was actually properly diagnosed yesterday, and since then, I’ve been allowing myself to be sad about it when I have time.
I’ve been ignoring it for so long, but now I just want to feel sad about it. There was so much loneliness. So much pain. So much doubt. And, of course, so much fear. It feels like my emotions are finally releasing a little bit. Thank you for posting this and helping me work through this.
Hope you are doing better🙏 I can relate as I was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks and it was a horrific, scary time. When I came home everything felt so strange, I felt like a stranger in my own home. Was mostly numb for the first few weeks, then angry, then finally I realized I was going through the grieving process and grieving for the loss of who I used to be and who I am after the traumatic experience. I prayed God would help me heal mentally and physically from the experience. My Family was not allowed to be with me at hospital due to gov mandates, so I felt alone, confused, and wondering why no one was with me. I was awake during many hours of the day and felt trapped in my body not able to talk or move. Although they try, my family can’t understand what it was like for me being in a coma, or how scary it was when I was conscious. Unfortunately I was able to hear what many of the nurses said, and it wasn’t usually kind or professional, griping about other nurses & having to clean up a mess again, so never felt like a safe or healing place to be. I lost 16 days of my life and still struggle with not knowing fully what went on during that time & not being able to give consent for treatments I received. Despite all that, I feel there is hope and I am healing everyday. Occasional bad days, but more good than bad. Give yourself time to grieve and process what happened. Writing in a journal really helps. Each day keeps getting a little better. A year ago I would be a mess and having a panic attack just thinking about this, much less typing it out. It still hurts, but the emotions are less intense and most days feels like it happened a lifetime ago, not 2 years. I thank God for his healing and giving me the strength to get through each day. Praying God be with you & comfort you as you continue to heal😊🙏 Take care
@@Rachaelc1776 thank you so much for sharing your story! So much of what you said feels just like what I experienced. Journaling has been so good for me. And I, too, have a much deeper relationship with God now.
I’m so grateful that you’ve shared this. I’ve never felt more connected to others than I do right now!
@@TBIhope You’re welcome!😊🙏 Thank you so much for sharing your story as well. It helps to hear from others who have been through similar experiences and to know we are not alone. Hopefully by sharing our stories we can help others find hope and healing. Take care and may God bless you🙏🙏😊
@@Rachaelc1776hope you both are feeling much better than when you posted these comments!
@@dcharith Thank you so much! Still have some very rough days physically, but doing so much better emotionally now😊 I’m very thankful and just feel blessed to be here with my family.
This had slowly been happening to me over the last 6 months I stopped sleeping because of the traumatic memories, and then after 3 nights of no sleep whatsoever 3 weeks ago, I had my first (and hopefully only) episode of mania, and required hospitalization for 10 days with mania with psychotic features, though I never lost touch with reality. I finally have a diagnosis of bipolar 1 and with type 4 “quiet” borderline traits. DBT group therapy and a small dose of a sedating antipsychotic has me back to getting sleep, and right as rain, at least today. 😉
Can you do ane episode on losing a loved one and how a person handles that lose please? I love your videos. I can't afford therapy right now so you are my go-to, thank you!
I don't have PTSD, but I do have a traumatic memory of when my cat passed away. This helped explain why I could "hear" her yowling for a long time afterward. It wasn't like actually physically hearing it, it was more akin to having a song stuck in my head, except horrible.
It's wonderful that C-PTSD is being acknowledged alongside PTSD. Yay!
Thanks for this video and so many others you make.
I feel so stupid for being traumatized by a bully.
I feel stupid and embarrassed.
I was bullied in high school (mean girl scenario) I'm 57 and I'm affected by it more now than I was then. I didn't defend myself or allow my parents to either. These girls were my friends and I thought they would come around or that the adults would put a stop to it.
Me too
Was anyone else on the edge of their seat with the dog thing? Biggest sigh of relief when Patches survived the fire.
Finally, im tired of the 12 year old kids on tiktok saying they are deeply traumatized because their mom asked them to do the laundry☠☠
It's not dissimilar from the way lots of kids and teens misuse and exaggerate words, based on their relatively limited life experience. And I hear adults talking about trauma in this way too! Though usually they use it to describe much more stressful situations than laundry!
show me one tiktok video like that bc you sound like you're making it up
That's MOST Children these days; A Bunch of WEAK UNPUNISHED SPOILED WIMPS.
By "WIMPS," I mean something else that starts with the letter "P", ends with the letter "S" and has the letters "USSIE" in the Middle.
Thank you for talking about this. I don’t always have the vocabulary or insight to explain what my thought processes are like and this helped me understand how I am processing my trauma.
I'm so glad to hear that. That's one of the purposes of these videos is to help people understand and know how to talk about what they're experiencing.
What does "processing your emotions" actually mean and how does one do it?
I've heard and read about this term in several books but it's never really explained.
If you could shed some information about this subject, I'd be very grateful. Thanks 😊👍
I can remember asking my psychologist what 'processing memories' meant when I was starting EMDR, as I really couldn't understand what people actually meant by 'processing'. I don't know if this relates to what you are asking, but I think what Dr Marks said about transforming memories from sensory to verbal (so changes them to more like 'normal' non-traumatic memories which are stored 'verbally'), which can help you to relate to them without the heightened emotion of trauma. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I'd appreciate any other answers to your question too.
Emotional processing happens when an individual experiences an emotionally distressing event and is able to cope with those experiences over time to the extent that new experiences can occur (whether stressful or not) without a return to the previous distress. Basically, every person has experiences that cause fear, extreme sadness, anxiety and depression, but those experiences are temporary for the majority of the population.
Some people relive those experiences and return to the distressing feelings over and over again. They are not able to process, or reduce, the emotions associated with those events. These individuals then experience relapse (if a substance was used to cope), night terrors, phobia and other extreme reactions.
It's difficult to explain in just so many words... BUT it IS a process... The over-simplified version is recognizing the emotion for what it is, identifying WHY you feel it, and making whatever adjustment you need to shed yourself of the emotion so it can fade away... It involves the patience to LET it fade away on its own, rather than suppressing it with some inner force or "bottling it" as many of us do when we're afraid to express it...
It happens all the time for many people every day.
Okay, let's take "Rage" as our "undesired emotion"... AND let's understand processing it from my perspective as a Biker... I see it all the time, and only rarely have to experience it, myself... though there are countless videos you can find to watch and talk through what is versus what SHOULD BE going on... and even a few decent clips of what should be going on... oddly...
SO the biker is riding along, and another driver fails to estimate distance and speed of his bike, pulling out into traffic... The Biker sees an imminent crash, and reacts... Adrenaline blasts through his system, because if he doesn't react quickly and properly, he's GOING to slam into the vehicle and probably die... pfft... all over... SO in around a SECOND, he presses his foot to the rear brake WHILE rolling off the throttle with his right hand, and then grasps the front brake with his right fingers putting pressure on it ONLY when the front shocks compress. .. His left hand clasps the clutch and his left toe presses down a gear, WHILE he's pushing on the right handlebar to cause a swerve and lean around BEHIND the vehicle ahead of him, because that's where space is OPENING UP... Releasing the clutch, he then presses with his left hand to smoothly travel from right lean to left lean to get back to his original lane, and away from danger, continuing to add pressure to his front brake as his right foot raises from the rear, and clutching again, his toe shifts down into first gear, as he comes to a stop... BUT the adrenaline is already discharged... He was very nearly killed by a negligent (in his perspective) driver who pulled out and cut him off...
Processing...
Rage is a self preservation emotion... The instinct is to get violent and deal with the threat... AND it comes at the onset of a massive "hit" of adrenaline... This isn't just a jump scare in a movie or haunted house attraction, it's a full on YOU ARE DEAD IN 2 SECONDS IF YOU DO NOT ACT level hit of adrenaline. It's not going away in a couple seconds. We are not a series of "lamp switches" in our emotions... They're all "dimmer" switches run by the onset and eventual metabolism of biochemicals...
SO whether "appropriate" in society's opinion or not, Rage is a perfectly normal and natural response when it FEELS like someone just tried to kill you... whether that was their intention or not... THe biker naturally FEELS pissed off... This is why we invented "cussing"... AND a fountain of filthy insults and prophanities explode from the biker as he maneuvers his bike to a stop... Right then and there, he actually WANTS to hurt the driver... It's natural, even as malicious as it sounds...
BUT here's where processing comes in... He's allowed himself to express his anger, rather than rush to violence upon the driver... He's stopped his bike, rather than take off or turn back to attack or do something equally stupid.
Instead, the biker reminds himself... Motorcycles are difficult to estimate in distance and speed. It's a bright day, but there's just so much glare from so many shiny things... Nobody wants to mess up their own vehicle. The guy in the car doesn't even know the biker... Why would he just randomly want to do that to a stranger...
AND the biker reminds himself to breathe... He knows he's not really going to murder anyone. As satisfying as it sounded in his head at the time, it would be a very short lived "victory" and then there's the mess, court, police, witnesses, and prison... SO he puts anger aside...
WHY was he so angry? He needed ACTION IMMEDIATELY... Anger acts to preserve him.... AND what causes him to need preservation? A threat...
In those moments of processing, the biker realizes, he's not really angry at all. He's scared to DEATH... He's got all the symptoms, too.... cold sweat... heart racing... dry mouth... almost immediately a flash-back to the instants of the ride, the car, the near crash, the maneuver around it... He looks over his shoulder and there's the vehicle pulling past traffic and stopping on the side of the road... The biker takes another breath... and his heart is starting to slow a little... It's still fast, but not racing. His chest isn't as tight, and he manages a U-turn onto the same shoulder some distance away from the other vehicle. By the time he's parked, only a fraction of a minute after their incident, the driver is already getting out of his car, and he's approaching with a hand up and a genuine look of concern on his face...
"Dude, I didn't even see you there! Are you okay?" The driver asks...
"Yeah," The Biker nods. "Im good. Glad I got my brakes checked last week, though..."
They shake hands and that's that... the healthy processing of Rage... You're sorting out your thoughts from emotions and reaching a conclusion to let the emotional state go for the next one to come along on its own... We don't talk so much about "lighter" emotions being processed, because we allow ourselves to express those instantly. It's okay to laugh... What makes society an often toxic thing is this dubious and disingenuous idealism that certain emotions, anger, sadness, and the like, to be inappropriate because we don't enjoy them...
"If you laugh, the world laughs with you. If you cry, you cry alone."... AND it's tempting to suppress emotions, instead of express them... BUT when we suppress our emotional states, we turn them into stress... and it can get extremely toxic...
There are lots of other ways (rather than just a breathing exercise and self reflection) to process them, therapists have many coping mechanisms and exercises that can help, too. BUT this is an overly simplified "step by step" approximate description of it as a function in a scene I've seen played out many MANY times... It's not always so simple, but this is also ONLY a YT comment, and plenty long enough to get the "rough" idea...
Hope it helps. ;o)
I dont know if this is right. I am in no way a professional or educated in this matter. I only have years of experience in therapy and dealing with my traumatic memories. I believe this isn't something someone can just do, like it isn't a code or command you'd give a computer. It's something that we don't control, it can happen on its own over time as the wounds begin to heal and we begin to let things go. But we can also do some things to trick our brains into "processing" an event. The therapies she listed are all excellent options, and my boyfriend also did some exposure therapy for his traumatic memories. It is just when you get to a place where you can recall a memory without enlisting that huge emotional spike. When someone represses their trauma or doesn't confront it, it often leads to those PTSD symptoms she was talking about. You have no control over them popping up nor any control over your emotional response. But after going through EMDR, I recall those memories that caused panic attacks without causing those kinds of emotional reactions. Those memories don't just pop up randomly; the "trigger" isn't really there anymore. It's not these memories don't elicit an emotional response; I have just gotten to a place where I can control and regulate my responses to them. EMDR was the hardest thing I have ever done but also the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
The simple answer is to feel the trauma feelings stored in your body/mind. You have repressed/depressed these feelings.
How to process is the next question: EMDR, therapy with a good therapist & trauma informed, journaling, yoga, meditation, fasting, spending time in nature or with pets, body work, micro-dosing psychedelics, etc.
I just turned 70 and my infancy and childhood traumas are deeply etched in my brain 🧠 after decades of therapy I’ve accomplished much with the help of some quality therapists, I’m so grateful ‘ but nothing can remove those horrible traumatic memories or experiences . I wish there was a way to truly single out those traumatic intrusive thoughts while leaving the glorious memories intact . Just wishing out loud. Thank you so much for helping me. EMDR has helped me greatly.
Makes so much sense - with me I have been through many traumas from childhood to adulthood! Say I have to have all my lights on and freak out if I get low on food and low on funds because when abandoned as a child we had no food no lights! I am terrified of the bathtub to take a bath vs shower because one of my abusers would put me in the tub after abusing me saying he was taking the boo boo's away! I hate the thought of using it I try drawing a bubble bath for years and never am able to get in it! I was molested by an old man and still even thinking or seeing one gives me anxiety I could go on but this makes so much sense thanks as always darling
So much useful information here! A lot of children who grew up in dysfunctional homes are dealing with post traumatic issues which affect them in their adult relationships and they do not know! Dr. Marks please do a video on this issue 🙏🏽 Thanks as always for the great information.
I second this comment and would love to see a video on said topic as well. Thanks in advance!
So much insight packed in this short video, thank you so much Dr. Marks !
My pleasure! 😊
EMDR was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was one the hardest, it was raw, and the aftermath had its own struggles. I'd walk out of the appointment feeling lighter and freer, but as my mind began to process, I became tired and extremely sensitive, like I couldn't control my emotional responses to things. It was like my period but 100x worse. I didn't understand until I talked to a friend who also did EMDR. She said that she experienced the same thing, and it is just your mind processing everything. After things became more manageable, I slowly got to a place where I could forgive. But I give people a warning do not take trauma therapy lightly. It's challenging, and if you aren't ready to confront things and relive them, it could make it worse. You have to be ready to move on, not in a way that means suppressing it but actually working through it.
Hi, came across this video and your comment as I’m in prep work to start EDMR soon. Were you able to keep working while going through the after-effects of EMDR that you’re describing? I’m considering whether I should ask for days off work to complete the therapy but not sure if this is necessary. Thanks!
When I was very young somewhere between the age of 6-8 we were taken by the school on a field trip, to a house of fallen victims that were attacked and many passed away during Sadam’s invasion. It was a wreck filled with the remnants of that attack. I don’t know why they took us there at a very young age but I remember everything so vividly, and the house had a perfumed smell that I can still smell it to this day. And it’s been over 20 years since then.
I never understood why it stuck with me because it was the one thing I truly wanted to forget.
I know this is trivial compared to trauma experiences that many of us if not all have experienced. But this shows how people can easily be traumatized, and that we should handle each other with care.
Wow; thank you for posting this! I really appreciate how clearly and accurately you describe how traumatic memories are stored and manifest, etc. So few people understand this. Do you ever provide expert testimony in court? A lot of people who experience trauma as a crime victim are disbelieved when what they remember is fragmented or out of sequence in a timeline. But what you say about the consistency of what they DO remember makes so much sense.
Great video! We almost lost our youngest in a preventable accident. The memories of that day are so vivid and emotional. That event changed the way I parented and changed my relationship with my husband. I wish we had started family therapy and dealt with the trauma when my children were younger, they deserved better than an anxiety driven mom and angry dad.
This explains so much. I see myself as a logical person so, when I had trauma responses to people doing things that were very much uncalled for, I assumed that I was angry at the people, and why wouldn't I? So I've been trying to focus on the people that have wronged me. After watching this video, I realize that it's not them that I have the most trauma from, but a significant other that didn't see the behavior as a big deal and thought I was over reacting. This broken trust is what has caused the most pain. Thank you for helping me shed light on this.
Your video and this comment section are so reassuring that other people have these feelings as well.
Dr Tracey is the only UA-cam creator I need to have a note pad with me to remember all the important points
And why am I crying after watching this?
Thanks, as always, for educational content, Dr Marks!
Listening to you explain all of this was like a light bulb moment for me! Now I understand why I am so angry and lose it at the slightest thing!
To be honest I’ve never really understood what qualified as “trauma” or “PTSD” other then an accident, someone being killed or war but after watching several of your videos on trauma I’ve come to think that I may have had a “traumatic” life but I’m scratching my head if I have, then why I don’t have the “vivid flashbacks” or upsetting memories about any of my life? I think I may have just accepted this is what my life is and it’s not going to get any better. What keeps me up at night is the constant worrying about money, or rather the lack of it! I’m up to my ears in debit and can’t ever see a way out except for either winning the Lottery, which is never going to happen to me or going to sleep permanently.
I grew up with an alcoholic father who would regularly come home drunk and beat my Mama. When I was old enough to understand what he was doing I would climb up on to my Mama’s lap to try to stop my father from hitting her. That’s when he started hitting me. My Mama and I went through life like this for years. This was well before the police could charge someone with “domestic violence” without the wife/husband having to press charges. I do remember one time I called the police and asked them to come and help my Mama but when they left both my Mama and I received an even more severe beating so I never asked for help again! This continued into my teenage years.
Then when I was 17 I had a major motorcycle accident (some idiot thought he could drive drunk!) which resulted in me losing a leg and permanently damaging the other one. Still the beatings continued just not as frequently because he was getting older. This continued until I had managed to save up enough money to move out and take my Mama with me!
As I got older I did have problems with trusting men and didn’t have very many “relationships” but it never bothered me and preferred being on my own. However, I did eventually meet someone “special” when I was in my 30’s. We got got on so well, it turned out his last girlfriend was the same as my father so he knew and understood why I didn’t trust most men. Anyway we bought a property together and started making a life together. We got married and had a son, when our son was 8 weeks old my husband was diagnosed with cancer, he died when our son was 4 years old. My Mama died 8 months later and then 2 weeks before our first Christmas without both of them I received a letter from the mortgage company advising me they were going to start the repossession process on our property because unfortunately my husband didn’t have life insurance and I couldn’t afford the mortgage on my own.
I have regular episodes of angry outbursts usually when someone or something scares me. My response is to shout at that person or lash out and smash something. It also happens if someone is rushing me or hounding me for something, also if I’m trying to find something. I become very angry very quickly and end up throwing things around or smashing things up and at that exact moment in time I can’t stop, I have tried but I feel like my chest/body is going to explode! One of my most frequent outbursts is when my son is play fighting with our dogs, I keep telling him to stop but he just ignores me. This makes my blood boil and at the same time my heart is in my mouth and my chest is pounding and I feel really scared that the dogs will bite him. Then our dogs will bark really loudly and normally right behind me which makes me jump out of my skin. This is when I completely lose it and scream at them at of the top of my voice to stop! Just thinking about these situations, gives me a tight feeling in my chest!
I know this may sound awful but to be honest I have accepted this is my life and it’s never going to change. I don’t want another boyfriend/partner/husband. I just want to be left alone.
EMDR was a great tool to remove the negative feeling that would surface when I thought of those events. I can now think about it or watch that content on TV, and not feel physical pain such as: anxiety, fear, tension and paranoia .
EMDR was not easy in the sense of just following the light. I cried, while reliving the events and felt the anxiety and pain in my body while following the lights. I recommend to schedule those sessions after work, you'll be fine after the session ends, but very drained and exhausted. I always napped after the EMDR session or went for a walk alone.
For the longest time I’ve been beating my self up for not getting over my dad’s death,he had cancer and it was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through because seeing my loved one’s health deteriorate so badly while being helpless was so painful . But I didn’t think it counted as a traumatic event even though I keep relieving those memories everywhere all the time. It’s nice to finally put a name to what I’m going through
I'm sorry, and yes death can be a trauma
I've been going through a rough patch. I've been remembering childhood trauma memories as vividly as it happened and am upset I can't remember good memories, even up to my Vegas trip i took this year I barely remember. 💔
This is crazy! Thank you for making this; it helps me understand my trauma memories a lot better which is amazing.
You're so welcome Megan!
I functioned when the memories were blocked. Today at 70 years of age, it doesn't take much to have all the feelings spiral into fear, doubt, mistrust of everyone. And my housing is unstable, again. I can't be around people. I'm on the board of directors now for the local homeless program and determined to help other board members and more importantly the staff working with clients understand how really hard it is to just reach out for help, how to fit into housing without being kicked out. I can relate with people I meet through NCH and at the national level because they get it, but in a rural area like this- they don't even think they need permanent supportive housing or mental health treatment available. They forget about the guy hiding under the bridge and the old lady in the car parked behind the semi's at the truck stop. The person who lost their job and house because of Covid can be fit right back into any apt. But not the survivor of child abuse who never fit right in, anywhere. And they are not going to recover while in the streets.
Awesome video !
It wish you would have also mentioned that for CPTSD, the flashbacks are mostly emotional without a sensory component, which makes traumatized people not even aware they are in a flashback nor that it's not really happening.
They truly feel and believe it's something that is happening currently and always find a current time cause for it.
I think this is a key detail that has huge impacts.
But it's great that you have a video comparing cptsd with PTSD.
Also thanks for removing the sound effects on the video it really helps to focus on what you say.
(Also i would be traumatized if i see my dog barking at me for help and i can't help her/him 🐕😥)
I wish you could also put your suggested videos in the description as they dont show on the mobile view.
Thank you this Video was very helpful to understand how traumatised people feel and to understand them. Whenever I heard someone say they were traumatised by something I struggled with understanding why they cant move on and why it's so different to normal memories. This video helped me to understand them a lot better, greetings from Germany :)
S/O to my fellow people with PTSD and C-PTSD 🤍 we are valid
I was emotionally and sexually abused by my mother. This video helps me understand what I go through and why I can be so easily triggered. So many times when I try to put words to my hurts I get invalidated--"Your mother really loved you, she just didnt express it well." Or, "You have to stop using your past to justify _____" (maybe some triggered outburst). The pain grabs me almost every day when something sets me off. I grew up under so much fear and terror because even as a teen my idol would tell me things like she would kill herself because we children didnt love her enough. It was manipulation and endless punishment. She loved to hurt us. And now it's been over 10 years since I even heard her voice--she still finds a way to re-traumatize me every day.
I'm so grateful for you, Dr Marks for helping to at least validate me. I'm not totally alone--you at least understand it's hard. I just sent the link to this video to most of my friends I hope will watch and understand and grant me some grace when I'm hard to deal with....
A big ❤-felt virtual greeting and extra hug to those sharing their experiences. They remind me that am I not alone and I am understood.
I had to revisit this video because it gave me information that came in use shortly thereafter. Today is my daughter’s 9th birthday and she came to me crying because she could not stop having a sad memory. It was intrusive. It came to her and she could not shake it. Her memory has changed me. I’m shaken to the core. I’m traumatized that I can be present and available yet my child still be violated
Nice, thanks! I broke my arm in 2001 when I was in the Military. I still remember everything as if it is happening right now. That trauma haunts me every day but I never went to any Psychologist to find out if I have PTSD or not.
Honestly the last symptom reminds me of the time I got robbed at gunpoint because my mom's car broke down in a neighborhood i wasn't particularly fond of in the later hours of the night.
Fortunately nothing happened to me except for losing a lot of expensive equipment but i still want no part of that car
The issue wasn't even that big. The petrol gauge stopped working so it didn't measure how much petrol was in car correctly, so even though the gauge was halfway full, i was driving dangerously close to an empty tank for a very long time until the car finally stopped moving.
Its been half a decade since then, and the car has been fixed and drive perfectly well. But I cant drive it, i just can't get into that car. There has been a lot of important and vital things that I've had to tell my mom no to doing because I can't bring myself to get into that car, it's made me feel really bad at time but it's something I don't budge on.
Shame too, since its actually a beautiful car, but i cant bring myself to get in it at all...
Hi, Dr. Marks! I was just evaluated by a psychiatrist and will be seeing a therapist soon. I’ve suspected that I’ve had PTSD for about a year now, but didn’t receive that diagnosis. Since then I’ve questioned whether or not the event I experienced was traumatic, so I want to thank you for validating my feelings by saying that a PTSD diagnosis is not required to classify an event traumatic. I love your channel. Keep it up!
I have complex PTSD, and I’m also on the autism spectrum, and I have a physical handicap. I lived in an environment for almost 10 years, where I had a parent who was very abusive in many ways. I’m now out of that environment, but I downplay my situation by saying, it could’ve been worse. People have had it worse than me. Whenever I’m having flashbacks, I feel as if I’m not allowed to verbally communicate my emotions because I feel like my situation isn’t valid enough. I’m constantly telling myself, you better get over yourself. What is your problem? That was almost 6 years ago. Change overnight already! I even try bottling my emotions and feelings up and denying the fact that I’m struggling. Because I refuse to let the other people in the house carry the burden of my problems!
Are we twins? Because same
@@bambiblushofficial1275 wow. I thought I was the only one.
Thank you. For me what I try and do is think of how vast the mind is and try to see it like the universe. With all these different thoughts that i am capable of. Then how small the memories and trauma thoughts are; how they are tucked away in this compartment. Sometimes it works.
This was actually pretty informative. I have a diagnosis of PTSD due to severe abuse as a child and some pretty awful experiences with a few foster homes up until I was 11. All my memories are pretty fragmented and I don't have a clear picture of any of my memories, I can't remember the good or the bad. Sure I've remembered a few bad memories and a lot of good memories have resurfaced, but I can't help but feel helpless. It's the not remembering while my two younger and equally as traumatized younger siblings can remember all of it. A lot of feels misplaced in terms of time frames, like I can't remember how old I was when a lot of it happened. I can't remember when we moved, but we bounced around a lot. This video helped to clarify some things for me so thank you for the information 🙂
Clear.. concise.. And practical.. That's why I pass these on to clients and parishioners..
I have memory fragments. I keep seeing pictures that I suspect is sexual abuse from a family member. I would see those fragments pop into my mind over the years and at first I just ignored it not even giving it a second thought. Then one day I asked myself why is this happening. One fragment I kept seeing was me at a festival that's it. So I felt safe asking mom if something bad happened there. She took a deep breath and said my sisters boyfriend got severely beaten. Then I remembered being terrified and the guy that beat him up smiled at me because he knew I was scared. I think that reason, him smiling was the reason I blocked it out. The brain is beautiful, it helps us survive
Thank you for this. Explains a lot about these memories. And the negative outlook.
Dr Tracy I want to thank you so much for your rewire your nightmares script because I've had no more nightmares of being trapped in the psych ward since doing that!
This explanation is very helpful for understanding my own trauma.
I'm glad missmissyface 😊 (love that name)
You have it. You have what you need to achieve all of your goals.
It's time to quite looking for what you don't have, and put your full attention on what you do have. It's time to bring out the best version of yourself, so that everyone around you can grow too.
Good luck with that
Rather informative and matched my experience recovering from bullying in a toxic job. You are right in that the memories are non-verbal; the parts I sort of remember are the fear and panic from the supervisors yelling at me, but I don't really remember what was actually being said.
One strange sensation I had during my processing was how those memories started to lose their lucidity to my everyday function. I told my therapist that it sort of felt like waking up from a very vivid dream, where you have to sift through what was reality and what was the dream.
The house fire example works so perfectly for this explanation
Her example was too real. I’ve never even experienced anything like that, but I sobbed when she described it.
Wow!! Never heard anything this clear on this topic. Thank you for your work!!
Thank you Dr Tracey! I knew that trauma memories are different. Most say to just let it go! I’ve tried and these memories just pop in. Jean Chaney Placenti🥰
Thank you so much because this is what im living now. two years of fighting for my life i remember nothing but the horror. every light, sound, taste, smell. i am trying to process it all and come to terms with it all. I know i will never be completely well ever again but I know I will be sick. its the mental part that is worse than the physical.
I remember the trips to...
my uncle making me do things.
The road, the people sitting at the lights, their faces looking at my struggle and not seeing.
I see them at the same intersection, still, not knowing, on the way back.
I remember, all my life, trying not to remember.
I still remember, but not the middle part, which makes me advocate for other's still 50 years later. I dont blame those at lights, but I'm that one watching...always, at lights, at places they dont realize. I see, I say.
Thank you so much 🙏🏾 I was molested by 2 people at the same time: I knew one (Johnnie) and the other I didn't but they were friends. I can't remember what Johnnie friend looked like. I always thought it was "odd" that I couldn't remember this face but this somewhat puts me at ease.
I think it's a survival mechanism that gets out of control. It's designed to keep you safe but it can get stuck in a nasty feedback loop that keeps reinforcing itself. You touch the hot stove and you get burned by it. You learn not to touch the hot stove But you get so traumatized by touching the hot stove that you become fearful of hot stoves instead of is learning not to touch the hot stove.
Wow, I’m so glad you showed up in my feed, you didn’t just knock it out of the park, you knocked it off the planet.
From the bottom of my cold black heart, thank you.
As someone with PTSD - thank you for this video!
Thank you for doing this informative video Dr Marks. This video has explained a lot about my trauma memories.
You are very welcome Jacqui I'm glad it was helpful.
Thank you, Dr. Marks; you always offer valuable information to us. Well, now I am traumatised by hearing about the helpless, abandoned dog stuck in the house; adding on that the firemen later rescued the dog did not reduce the horror. Your story reminds me of a news report about a man who escaped his burning house, then realised that his beloved kitty was stuck in there. Because he loved her so much, he bravely went back in to rescue her, and he died in the fire while trying to save her life. That was a few decades back; to this day, I still think of his great love for an innocent, helpless being; he will always live on in many hearts, inclusive of mine.
Ah, this explains why I get so emotional when I feel someone or something at work wasn't right. I had co-workers who ignored policy they didn't like. I however felt upset by this. If I didn't agree with it, it bothered me but I tried to comply. I would be upset though because I just didnt feel comfortable working around these people. I also didn't like being put into a position where I had to be the one to speak up about it because I was asked to do so. This created conflict. Which makes my anxiety rise up. I can feel my heart racing and my breathing become more difficult. Later, sometimes for weeks, I have to try hard not to dwell on it. I want to work in this field. I just am finding it so painful. Especially if someone isn't doing their job. I get really upset. I am not use to seeing this so much but it is more common in childcare than I imagined it to be. Hopefully, I can find a place I am happy working at. It is painful to work. Mentally painful though to not work outside of the home too.
I'm in a job that I'm not happy in too. My job gave me anxiety which I'm struggling with. 😫
Universe has funny ways.. This video was posted the next day after my first visit with EMDR therapist :) I can't wait! Maybe this one will help.
I was actually in a house fire, the neighbor fell asleep with candles on and nearly burned down the building. Nobody was harmed, not even the neighbor, we were really lucky. when I smell smoke I still get flashbacks
Thank you for explaining the verbal vs nonverbal memories. It's ben so hard to describe why these memories are so sharp yet impossible for me to put into a narrative. That information feels like a weight off
It's so much easier to understand my triggers after watching this video. Thank you!
OMG!! Best Dr Marks video ever.
I was assaulted very young by my stepfather and I told my mom, but for the life of me I can't remember what she said, I do know that she stayed married to him for 5 more years after I told her. Y can't I remember?!
Your brain might be trying to protect you. Or it could be another reason...
Thanks for this. 33 years later and it still messes with me on occasion.
The smell of cigarette smoke is definitely a trigger for me!! I remember I had to get a car rental and the car smelled of heavy smoke and every time I opened the door to get in I would immediately feel sick and nauseous and my heart rate would increase.
Yes as a 60 year old male, I have frequently had memories of what I sense as failures in my life. That was decades ago when they happened and I recall as though it was just yesterday. I want to let it go.
Can you please talk about the aspects of chronic pain when it comes to suicidal ideation, guilt, depression, and hopelessness. Especially with invisible illnesses like EDS, arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc, bc there's so many that don't know you're ill or believe you're ill because they can't physically see it. I've battled suicidal ideation for over 30 years due to pain and always thought I was alone in this, only to find recently that it's very common. It would be so helpful to have someone professional explain it for the heathy that don't understand and for us so we know we're not alone 🥰
Thank you instead of me trying to explain why my children hood abuse I just cant pretend it never happened or forget about it. This happens by many people who call themselves Christians more than any other group. I have gone to therapy and forgiven those who abuse me. Unlike most survivors I had never blamed myself.
That was a very helpful video, Dr Marks. It helps me understand why sometimes the smell of something, or the sound, gives me such intense feelings. Then I panic, or cry, or go ballistic, and I have no idea why.