My ex was abusive in every way possible. He would sneak up on me and attack me when I got home as I walked from my car to my house. He would drive super close behind me try to swerve my car off the road with his car so that I would crash. He even climbed my 2nd story balcony to see if I was cheating. I was never allowed to get a restraining order because he’s a cop and was ignored once law enforcement found out he’s “one of them.” I’ve been 5 years no contact and he finally left me alone about 2 years ago, but I still am on high alter everywhere I go. Don’t know if I could ever trust a man again. Been in therapy for years but sometimes I feel like that only helps by having a witness that knows all of my horror stories in case he decides to come back to punish me for leaving him... I’m not posting this as a pitty party or trying to get sympathy. I’m not sad that it happened these days. I’m just very angry… My advice is as soon as you see the first red flag 🚩, RUN and block that person. Cut off all ties. There were so many red flags I naively ignored and that’s what haunts me most times. That I should’ve been smarter and made better logical choices. Always go with what you know than what you feel because making decisions based solely on love and hope can do more harm than good. Stay safe.🖤
Aww babes I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, life it’s so unfair I swear. But I hear you and see you and I know you will trust men again and he will reward you all the joy you lost because of this psycho xx
We tend to ignore red flags because we want to see good in people. Please don't beat yourself up. You're super strong for surviving that sick asshole and recognising the abuse that happened to you. I hope you heal and get to feel better everyday.
6:53 “Fear followed by avoidance of things related to the fear makes the fear grow bigger and sometimes morph into other fears.” This hit hard. I hope I get better.
Damn, I have avoidant and paranoid personality traits and that resonate deep. Living with constant fear and anxiety is not fun at all. I almost lost my job and failed college multiple times because of this. It's so hard to overcome the paranoid thoughts and fear. Sometimes, last year I was just sitting in my bath petrified of the future. I almost became alcoholic. Ativan worked greatly to calm my anxiety attack at job.
@lLuminousMoonl I'm like this!! I stress whenever my husband is away from me. I didn't realize it was such a problem until I stayed a night away and I was panicking the entire time. I'm pregnant so I've been really struggling with anxiety over the future and trying to get/feel better about possibly being alone or trusting him being away from me.
@@Asme1111-t8h exercise and diet help the most honestly. Vitamin D too! I take vitamin D & K2 along with some other vitamins and prenatal. I noticed a huge difference in mood.
I was recently diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD and I almost lost my job because I would constantly have panic attacks (I’m closing shift) I started therapy and Anxiety meds and I haven’t had a panic attack in Months and I was able to get out of my comfort zone!! I downloaded a dating app and make friends there! It took a lot of errors, some medication was giving me sucidal thoughts and another one was making me supeeer numb but I found the right dose and medication for me and I’m very functional now! Oh I’m in the process of Becoming the boss of everyone too!! About to get a raise and everything it took some months but definitely there’s always a way u should definitely seek professional help and give a peep talk to yourself
I’m sure I saw this today for a reason.. My dad was killed by a drunk driver in front of my house, picking up my daughter Holly Joy..she blames herself, had 10 months of residential treatment, so victorious! Less than 6 months later she was diagnosed with cancer at 15 and I lost her at 21..she left me 10 years ago and I’m breaking now…my psychiatrist only prescribed medications which was a very bad thing…..thank you so much for this video, as it is me😭My name is Ronnie….of course I used my Holly’s name for this…
I lost my husband when I was 32 after a gun accident in our livingroom (it was not suicide) I am now 42, live with my mom, have acquaintances but no real friends and have become a hermit. Living on a small island and being self employed helps with this lifestyle. I just don't want to lose anyone anymore. It's easier being alone. Art helps a lot though!
Dr Marks, I'd love to have on as my therapist..You're kind, intelligent, and patient. If only everyone could find a Dr just like you, we'd all be feeling much better! Bless you and yours Dr Marks.
@@MyKrabi You know what's interesting? that method peaked my interest due to my own strange interwoven relationship with PTSD trauma &math I developed (I think) brain damage from a brain related injury &didn't realise (until many years later) that my numerical ability &ability to concentrate on general had diminished severely.. throughout highschool I just assumed I wasn't good at or disliked math/numbers &kept telling myself this (perhaps as a coping mechanism) it was only MUCH later after talking to old friends/teachers etc that they reminded me how much I excelled at math from an early age up until 12/13 (around the time of my accident) then after some digging up of old notebooks &journals I could prettymuch SEE the stark diff in the before &after the accident all across my work even in terms of my writing skill (both prose &strangely my actual handwriting) which post accident looking back had devolved to an almost childlike state.. My work in school suffered greatly my concentration was nil &while I grasped concepts I just couldn't focus for any substantial amount of time &after a while I just wanted to get it over with &get out. Many years later my abstract intelligence has somewhat recovered &I'm considered intelligent by friends &family I can hold indepth or at least inquisitive debates on a variety of different subjects.. But I now unfortunately am barely able do basic times tables (something which became a source of great shame &self loathing for a while) &though I was once able to complex long division in my head (with an aid of my trusty invisible pad lol) now I just lose track get frustrated &give up.
this is one of the only channels I've ever seen that translates psychiatric knowledge to the general public without really watering it down. Grade A psychoeducation.
When you go through enough traumatic experiences it can lead to what’s known as “Analysis Paralysis”. Essentially becoming unable to make future decisions due to the negative outcomes from past decisions. This coupled with traumatic experiences intentionally caused by others leaves one utterly hopeless. Unable to process the conflicting cognitive dissonance distortions leads to paralysis.
At age 10, I felt hatred, anger, & confusion after experiencing my very first heartbreak when my narcissistic mother gave my dog away while I was at school one day. The loss was an unexpected & incomprehensible traumatic experience for me. I got home from school one day & my stomach dropped, Sassy was missing, my dog was gone. After seeing me cry & searching everywhere to no avail, my neighbor finally told me what happened. I didn’t understand why my parent would do this, as she gave me no warnings or indications that this would occur. When she got home from work I asked her why. She avoided me for hrs telling me to leave her alone & stop my crying over “nonsense”. Later that night she finally answered however, it was w/a slap to my face & her yelling at me to stop me “pestering her about the stupid dog” as she’s the adult & im the child she can do whatever. This made me cry even more, & to stop me from crying she gave me beating in my room w/her hands & a belt telling me to shut up & go to bed or she will “give me something truly worth crying for”. The bottomless pit created by this wound has made avoid getting close to anyone due to fears of them either taking away something that I love, or me losing them. Both of which I’ve already experienced in mid 20s adding more fuel to my paranoia where now as I’m in my early 20s I avoid evry1 & everything.
I’m sending you positive vibes and thoughts and I hope you might consider getting a pet again. I had a similar mother and I find animals way more emotionally safe than people. It’s now a constant in my life, I am never without a pet in my life and I go from there. When I’m feeling okay I give ppl a chance, but when not, my dogs are very comforting. If that makes sense. I’m rooting for you. ♥️
I'm 47 years old and this year, for the very first time in my life. I did what I've never thought I would do: have a dog. I was always afraid to get close to let my heart open again to love an animal. I don't regret it. I love my dog and the love I get from her is healing me. It breaks my heart to read what happened to you. I can't imagine coming home and not seeing my puppy at home. That would just tear me down. Give yourself a chance to get a dog. Sending you a hug and so much love
Speaking of avoiding I’ve been avoiding watching your videos because they just make me realize things that I wasn’t expecting to face again but that being said thank you for making these videos they make me feel less alone 😊💕
My parents divorced when I was baby and my mother left me to live with my grandparents, what I wouldn't change for anything.. I remember looking some movie and sentence "People always leave" and that stuck in my head since.. I was 12 years old... So more than half of my life.. 🍀💚
Thank you. Myself and children have severe PTSD all these points are so relatable, we will certainly try some of the techniques whilst waiting for more therapy.
Dr Marks, Could you address the effects of bullying on future behavior? I am assuming that bullying/teasing is traumatic and regular, for instance bullying that occurs at school or work. Also, are there different responses to bullying depending on the victim's age when it occurs, for instance childhood, teens, young adult, etc?
I'd be interested in this as well. These videos are proving to be very informative for analyzing my behavior after a workplace bullying experience in 2019.
I'd be very interested in this as well. My daughter was severely bullied all the way through elementary and middle school. She now has anxiety and depression and is on meds for it.
It ruined me and has made me so paranoid heading out because I don't want to be recognized by someone I use to work with. I overthink everything about whether people are looking at me, if they recognize me etc. It sucks.
I've still got PTSD for almost 20yrs after I lost my daddy tragically at 7yrs old in June 2002. His new intoxicated gf shot him in his heart point blank and got away with it! Sadly, it was a Huge Cover Up. My poor mom fought it for almost 9yrs but had NO LUCK! 💔💔I was in a BAD car accident in 8 2016. Nearly killed me bc of the negligent driver running a red light. Had to have Emergency Surgery that saved my Life. I still have PTSD over that as well. It's just HORRIBLE! Be safe y'all.
Thanks for this video. Just today I had a terrible anxiety attack when a stranger started talking to me and I felt awful afterwards because I think he was just trying to be friendly but I couldn't control my thoughts/reaction. This has happened to me too many times now. For context, I grew up in a country that transformed from a democracy to a dictatorship and you couldn't trust officials anymore and it's atrocious . That also destroyed the economy and crime skyrocketed. I experienced mugs. I also experienced a rape that had further consequences. Now I live in a really safe country for a couple of years. But I just feel I can't feel safe like most people do here. It's awful.
You are a good teacher, Dr Marks. I am healing from c-ptsd and have experienced all this (and more, to do with memory). For the first time in a few years, I feel hopeful that I can recover or at least transform my trials into victories. Thank you for your good work.
Will those poor kids that got shot that made it out alive, will they have depression, pure anxiety and PTSD guaranteed by default because of the shock??? I don’t know how 8 through 11yr olds are going to deal with these harsh realities that just took place yesterday.
Technically it will all depend on the individual. Unfortunately, however, many of those kids I assume will be affected by the issues you listed for a while
I wonder if we will call them monsters when that trauma makes one of them do something terrible? I wonder if we will be able to recognize that all lives have context, or if we will throw that context away the moment it complicates things.
@@TubeytimeMaybe it is easier to forget that we all have our own histories that influence our decisions in life, and especially easy to forget for those individuals that make terrible choices…but in the end, it is not our past that forced the decisions we make. We all have a choice.
@@Tubeytime I don’t feel all that bad for the shooters. They made that choice. The least society can do is try and make it easier for the next generation of kids, whatever that may be exactly, so that their decision making skills will be stronger and driven with wisdom, right?
When she was going through the journaling is the way I work through situations with my reactive dog. He unfortunately has some pretty bad experiences I’m working to figure out how to help him, these are the steps I go through. it does help figuring out a situation you don’t feel control in.
Dr. Tracy, it’s a serve you read my mind. Exactly how I feel right now. Paranoid, avoiding, I just went through a difficult situation and I can’t even think straight. Thank you for your information God bless you. You’re awesome!
I have all of the above Tracey. I could tell you all the reasons why I grew up feeling like the world is a cruel and violent place. Also why I am helpless and powerless to protect myself. Why people leave and/or forget you. So all of the above.
Trauma in some cases may cause extreme behavioural changes. The person may become fearful and paranoid. He may become somewhat schizophrenic, believing that he's seen or heard threats to himself and, despite family and friends believing that such threats aren't real, he can't be convinced otherwise. The person does not even recognise that he's ill or has any problem, and so refuses to seek help.
Thanks! I just found you. I was diagnosed with PTSD 20 years ago after a horrible accident underground. It has gone untreated. I finally got drugs from a psychiatrist. They keep me from going completely crazy. In Canada you can’t see a therapist unless you have insurance or are wealthy. I will watch you faithfully going forward. Thankyou!!!
As a trauma survivor who has held several of these distortions (and am still in the process of resolving) and has had several very unhealthy coping mechanisms over the years, it was interesting to have it explored in such a simple, almost clinical way. Another great video
WOW...Thank you for this video! I've been given handouts about cognitive distortion, but no one has ever explained it as clearly as this. I really appreciate this. Been trying to heal from past trauma for years and just never really understood, even with therapy, how to get past it.
Things are finally healing, goals being met, dynamics are coming about that are a perfect fit, for my beloved, created family members.. so I'm suddenly terrified something will destroy it... scared of catastrophic loss, now that overcoming many traumatic years of PAS, Narc abuse effects...my family deserves this good, hard won..now I'm just terrified, as a mom and grandmother
It's so important that we take care of our own needs without sacrificing our well-being to satisfy and please others. When you can, take breaks if need to, meditate, take a walk and be kind to yourself for the practice of self-care. Do whatever makes you feel that inner peace and calmness that's needed for your mental health and overall well-being. 💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Thanks for this video. A connoisseur of trauma (painful surgery age 2, avoidant mother, dysfunctional family, battle trauma from eye-witnessing 9/11, 3 year recovery from serious heart surgery, and finally being wiped out in family court by, you guessed it: an avoidant partner who always failed to show up [except for court dates]). I try to hide my bristling at the popularization of the words trauma and triggered. Life is traumatic, yes, but some ppl get more of it and need more help.
I store certain events in my memory. The events are scarred in my brain. I relive them and sometimes I have to scream to throw something or slap myself , do anything to break the flashback , if I don’t it fills me with the worst feelings. Some of these memories are seeing pets dying in agony, accidentally killing my lizard when I was very young, shooting an arrow from a bow straight up in the sky when my little brother was right next to me. To name a few. I can’t undo them, just add more to the pile of things that haunt me. Death will bring silence and peace.
Fear is located in the conscious mind. Understanding and healing fear is done through accessing the subconscious. Cognitive ladders are good at recognizing things but so poor at controlling or releasing fears. Well done video.
Dr. Marks, Your video on trauma prompts me to write. I have a neighbor that walks into my home behind closed doors without knocking, and comes over every time I have contractors working on my house, and entering behind closed doors.. I hinted that he can't come into my home thinking he would get it; Finally I told him to stop and he became unbelievably enraged. There was no chance for me to speak to him. And now he is taunting me, calling me names etc and for a over a year, always acting like a child. The police have told him to stay off my property but won't take care of his bullying "freedom of speech". they explained as he is on his property. Though I ignore him, he has continued for a year and not sure when he will go into a rage again, and directed at me. His hate for me is obvious. And Obviously he has a personally disorder, very childish and focuses on me and won't give up. Clearly he needs help but I always encounter his name calling and childish behavior if he sees me. I am targeted. When I ignore him, he becomes absolutely enraged, calls me names for awhile then lets up but it always starts up again. .His rage was something I have never experienced and scared he will eventually become violent. His continued taunting is frightening in regard to his mental state. I have even sought counseling as I fear he will turn his rage into violence until he is satisfied with his anger, and all is centered about my not having done anything. I have been told to move and in that process. Comments? Is he a narcissist or have a personality disorder that can't be helped. He is in his late 70's and I am a senior as well.
The first part of the video mentions recognizing and resourcing… I just want to say that in the beginning it can be incredibly hard to get to a place where one can sustainability self resource. The first phase is the awareness of noticing the reaction/triggers… even that is a worthy enough win and can be difficult to achieve depending on one’s environment/support system. The next part has to do with the internal willingness to do/try to resource, as well as the willingness to try again even if it doesn’t go as planned the first time/times. I want to say that the journey to working on oneself and evolving mentally is the hardest thing any one person can do. And if relief hasn’t come yet, to not give up completely and that your every try/effort/noticing is worth something on your journey of many steps! 💗
I love your videos, you’ve helped me so much during the pandemic, where I was forced to go deep into my trauma. You’re great at synthesizing information and communicating it clearly and briefly. Thank you for wha you do. Love from Mexico ☁️✨
I love the way you explain things. You have a great gift for breaking down complicated concepts and making them easy to understand. Your videos have been helpful to my healing journey.
Another video that accurately aimed to the cause of the specific mentality issue. Just come here to say, thank you for revealing precious and free knowledge that really points out the main reasons and effects as a professional psychiatrist. Your vibe reminds me of Whitney Houston btw
You are an excellent professional with excellent teaching skills! Accompanying people towards autonomy also requires this ability to transmit. Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks for sharing.
Dr. Marks, thank you so much for what you do on your channel! There have been many times where you have helped me process challenging situations I have been in. I appreciate you!
I love everything you post. 😍 Thank you for everything. Especially for the worksheets and resources on your website. May God bless you. I have a therapist , but I'm grateful to also have your education videos here for free. I pray that your sales of all your products sail through the roof.
Thank you I have cptsd and it is a struggle getting close to people and my thinking/memory whew I've been taking Magnesium l threonate thanks to your video and b12 which had been helpful but my mind isn't how it used to be. Honestly I would love to sue or get some type of retribution for the changes they have caused
Taking legal action sounds like it would feel good. There is a lot of research that says it could make you feel worse. Realizing that it didn't help you deepens your sense of loss. Do the hard therapy that will make more of a difference.
@@Cathy-xi8cb I think in many cases it's not just about closure, it's possible the person they're suing may be an extreme danger to others, and it's better to at least get your case out. Even if you lose, other people will hear about it and be aware. I think that's what matters most
I grew up with an abusive mother and my father was absent. I also experienced racism, colorism, sexism, was jumped in school, I was stalked and harassed, and I was a victim of sexual assault from a guy friend. I went to my primary doctor and my therapist and I was diagnosed with anxiety ( panic disorder ) and depression.
Love this deep dive into that negative beliefs about self and world part of PTSD and cPTSD, and general developmental trauma and how it impinges on personality. We often glance over this in checklist DSM based diagnostics but it's really the hear to healing is addressing these distortions. Note Prolonged Exposure moves the needle on these beliefs as well, evn if you are not addressing them directly. Often information that you did your best, you are competent are not guilty, not powerless- but this information is in the very memory you are avoiding. Ie- "oh yeah I did what anyone else would've done" when processing this memory in PE.
Excellent video Dr. Marks. Thank you for making it simple for everyone to understand what are sometimes feelings and behaviors that can be difficult to understand and address. Dr. Marks could you perhaps talk about body image/dysmorphia/eating disorders and how they are sometimes related to traumatic experiences? Thank you.
I was adopted at 6 months. Before this I was in the hospital for a week until I got an earache. Then transferred to a temporary foster home for 5 weeks, then transferred to another foster home for 5 months, then adopted. I had this trauma behaviour before I was even old enough to have any clue where these feelings were coming from. Oh! And then my adoptive mother threatened to “send me back” at the very first sign of teenage rebellion at 15😡
Feeling Powerless is what I face. I have a Hiatal Hernia. I faced trauma on the day It occured. I could not breathe and I felt like I was being choked. I thought I was gonna die. I ran to the bathroom and forced myself to vomit in hopes it would open my air way and it did. ( or something else occured ). I was able to breathe again and I relieved, but I felt a pain that immediately sent me to the hospital. Immediately following the next day started a trend that has taken years to fix. I could not eat or drink certain foods. I was so dehydrated that my skin was gray colored. after so many ambulance rides because of suffocation and hospital visits I finally found out the problem. My stomach pushed through my dhiaphragm. more and more symptoms popped up over time and I have suffered since. Today ( about 4 almost 5 years later ) I still have some problems, but not as bad. However I am afraid to work ( even though I want to get off SSI and get a Job ) because I am afraid I can be alone and something bad can happen again. Doctors offer no help and tell me it's all in my head even when they know the diagnosis and consequences that can happen if it cannot one day be resolved. My G.I Doctor told me just to stay off high carb foods and ill be fine. The anxiety I have faced over this issue is strong and I am struggling, but not giving up.
I've encountered trauma as a child with an abusive alcoholic father. A sexual assault from a friend as a pre teen. I was in the army and there was stuff there. I've tried stuff, taken a lot of different medications. I still struggle with stuff harm and suicidal ideation. I'm still here, but it's getting harder lately.
Please know that what happened to you isn't your fault. The fact that you are still with us, shows that you have a will to live and to keep pushing. Please know that there is help available and many of us do care. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience.
You must find a way to clear your mind about the fact that all those people that hurt you are on their own journey, and somehow find forgiveness. Otherwise they win! You can't let them steal even one more minute of your peace.
I hope you look into nervous system dysregulation and the polyvagal theory. Those are all trauma responses trapped in the body. You would need to do a body based trauma therpay than mind based therpay to bring the body back into homestasis.
"Trauma effects how you store memories" Gabor Mate said: “What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.” Trauma effects our personality too, it warps and warts it with coping mechanisms. This is not disorder, this is reaction to trauma. Without it, we would die. "PTSD" There is also Complex PTSD. CPTSD is not recognized by DSM, however it is recognized by ICD-11. "The ICD-11 diagnosis of CPTSD consists of six symptom clusters: the three PTSD criteria of re-experiencing of the trauma, avoidance of trauma reminders, and heightened sense of threat (hypervigilance, startle response), and three disturbances of self-organisation (DSO) symptoms defined as emotional dysregulation, ..." "Cognitive distortions" All people have logical fallacies, jumping to quick conclusions, bias, prejudices, bigotry, availability heuristics, confirmation bias, filter. This is not endemic to trauma, anxiety nor panic issues. We cannot remove it, this is human condition, we are not gods, we are not super humans, we are vulnerable and wrong - quite often. If we try to overcome it, we will develop perfectionism issues, which is at the heart of OCD and mental illness. "Breaking out of this pattern" It is more layering off trauma responses such as fawning and realizing we are not broken, we are not flawed, we are not wrong. "Reaction out of proportion to the trigger" Traumatized empaths try not to bother other people. Then reactions becomes people pleasing and fawning - which means being stuck in toxic ambient and shutting up and self-censoring - being taken advantage off due to need to keep reaction out of proportion as suggested by CBT. In reality, the only problem are toxic people. IF we do not feel psychological safety - there is something wrong with other people, not us. If we decide to self pathologize our reactions, we will crap fit into abuse and criminally insane psychopaths. Anyone who experienced trauma - it is sign such individual was conditioned into subservience, silence and keeping quiet. Problem is operand conditioning and hypnosis and order, command to keep things out of proportion. Since CBT does not understand this, CBT joins into gaslighting and invalidation and thus contributing to the already present trauma as manipulator, at the side of abuser(s). "Keeping people out of distance" If people are toxic, if we are in toxic ambient - it is totally ok to be alone and away from toxic people. "Grounding exercises" All techniques that are directed in telling our brain that we are wrong, inept and that we must fix ourselves will breed toxic shame. It will not bring grounding in the end - instead it will result in hypervigilance and perfectionism. This is what abusers are doing to the target: to us become fit into their crap. In short: "Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame" Peter Levine "Feeling powerless - cognitive distortion" However if we explain our trauma response as distortion, our brain will not become powerful. This information will be interpreted by brain that all people are normal and healthy without any bias, while we are distorted due to abuse - and we must fix ourselves, we must watch out our thoughts. This leads to PureOCD, rumination and toxic shame - deep sense we are inept to handle life. We cannot fight cognitive distortions by new cognitive distortions. Labeling is cognitive distortion itself. "Exposure and desensitization" Exposure must be done in observed ambient - this information is written in small letters. Exposure does not mean that we take it on ourselves. If we live in slum - exposure to drugs and criminals will not make us healthy at all. If we move to Chernobyl, we will not develop anti-radiation powers, we will die instead of cancer due to exposure to deadly radiation. We can see Desensitization is also cognitive distortion by CBT - in movie A Clockwork Orange it is showed that Desensitization leads to depression and lethargy. It is said if Man is unable to choose, he ceases to be a man. This means, if we lobotomize our quirks, perks, caprices just to fit in into groupthink, herd mentality and conformism, to make other people comfortable - world will not become safe nor happy. Instead toxic people who are not willing to seek therapy will run over us - like Trump or Putin or Republicans or conspiracy theorists. They will manipulate and use narcissistic abuse to exert control over everyone. And without our sensitivity to disorder, we won't be able to react to sick people. Without ability to protest, nothing will change. Without reaction to hurt, Darwin says we will perish. Our ability to adapt to surroundings is crucial in life - it is part of life. Anything else is death. "Work on your mindset" As Levine said, if we decide to follow Jordan Peterson advice to hate ourselves, to blame ourselves and to fix ourselves - we will develop narcissism and mental illness and psychopathy. Schizophrenia is when we are not authentic, but we create different person inside us. That is severe mental illness. Mindset is our own, we are all different and individual, this makes us special and unique, it is not something to crop, hide or develop toxic shame about. We can improve only when we accept ourselves as we are. If we decide to improve in order to be superior to others, we will develop narcissism, psychopathy. If we decide to fix ourselves in order not to feel uncomfortable feelings - we will fight life itself and basic facts of life: that struggle and problems are part of life. We cannot control other people, we cannot control external events. To believe that we can change and fix problems by changing our mind - leads to severe mental illness and this is the reason why CBT ought to be banned. Nitpicking our thoughts that are result of living in toxic ambient will only lead to more anxiety and mental issues. Trauma model was discovered in 2002 - google it, however corrupt medical industry keep this as secret because Pharma mafia is making money on human neurosis, it is number one income for them, constant influx of money, that can be resolved quickly about learning on banned and censored information: Complex PTSD, Polyvagal theory. Emotional dysregulation, Amygdala hijacking, External referencing locus of control, trauma bonding. CBT follows cognitive distortion logic, logical fallacy - that we can change our mindset by whim. We cannot. Maslow discovered that we cannot work or modulate nor fix any self esteem issues - if we do not feel basically safe. Maslow triangle shows that we must first make sure we are safe, feel psychological safety - and then actualization will come as natural process, not something that we can force. To nitpick our thoughts is the same as plastic surgery. We end up being and looking like monster in our trying to be perfect and accepted and validated by toxic and abusive people who would not care about us at all if we were perfect. Trauma is sign we were surrounded by toxic people. It was not our fault. We are not wrong. And we have nothing to fix about our core self. Instead we need to skin off onion layer of toxic shame and safety mechanisms and coping mechanisms by cutting contact with toxic people - muting them, ignoring them, minimizing contact with them. We can divide people in two major groups 1) people who care about others, seek interdependence and Long spoon analogy, empaths, seeking solutions and safety for all and 2) selfish people who are egocentric, narcissistic, who seek own pleasure and avoidance of pain at any most, overcompensation of toxic shame by creating superhuman mindset to conquer and control other people over. CBT is narcissistic tool created by narcissists for the narcissists. It is legalized mental illness tool to create more mental illness in society. At the heart of CBT in invalidation, self hate, self blame, self rejection, toxic shame, perfectionism and general control instead of harmony. Instead of dysfunctional CBT which creates new Trumps there are Humanistic therapies, Humanistic psychology. Quote to consider: Carl Jung | Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER: The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering. "Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured." The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Improving our relationships is improving our mental health. William Glasser Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs. WILLIAM GLASSER Controlling Habits: Blaming Criticizing Complaining Nagging Rewarding To Control Threatening Punishing William Glasser William Glasser "What's my Choice" Connecting Habits: Listening Supporting Encouraging Negotiating Respecting Accepting Trusting
Thank you! Can you please do a video explaining Dissociative Fugue? I think I experienced this but know it is very rare. For over a month I had no idea who I was communicating with, where I was going, saying, or doing. Participating in activities against my core values. I hurt many people during this episode and want to know what could have happened. Thank you
In physics, physicists have discovered concepts that basically are related but have undetermined direct origin. I like to think of this as meeting the edge of the bubble of knowledge we live in. So even in the physical world, there are things beyond our understanding, and so it is with everything else. It is so relieving to put certain things in the 'out of my control' category so you are exempt from having to deal with them. I call them 'out of my realm.' As a Christian I know that God has let us know some things but not everything or else we we be god as well and that is impossible bc the definition of God is 1. So some things are placed in our realm and the rest is in God's. This makes the serenity prayer make total sense.
what ı wrote in the past made me realize that ı was mentally dysfunctional at then due to highly emotional and unbalanced way of thinking or maybe "not thinking" at all. ı try to think and act on logic each and everyday of my life these days thanks to the self evaluation ı made. ı am not ashamed of myself because ı was far away from my true identity and now ı am perfectly capable of seeing gaps in beetween the logic and expression ı made at then. ı hope everyone become more aware and understanding about human psychology and wont stigmatize people who encountures some difficulties in life and have no idea how to deal with them effectively.
Can intensive bullying in school later develop into some kind of PTSD or cognitive distortions? I tried many therapies, but when mentioning bullying professionals didn´´t take it as a big problem, even though for me it was a 7 year inferno. As always, many thanks for your videos. They have been like a godsend for psychoeducation. Even though I am under professional care, I can educate myself and better understand what is going on.
Same thing has happened to me. None of my therapists have taken my bullying as something important, even though I still have nightmares about it. They're like: well, it's been years since you graduated, so you should let it go. However, I still have some of that trauma, as in my case, were 13 years of intense and horrible bullying
I was bullied not only in primary but also secondary but I was too insecure to be known as a bullied again so i soldierd on later to be diagnosed with ADHD depression anxiety self loathing severe social anxiety, I really struggled, especially when it came to girlfriends, no word of a lie Bungie jumping would give me less anxiety, I'd always second guess myself and try to please everyone almost desperate for approval, because the years of bullying stripped all if any self esteem I had no confidence, only stress, anxiety and constant fear, hesitation, certain people that remind me of some of the bully people uk know them as chavs, put me in a state of defense, on edge Bullying can fuck you up man because it happens right at the start of your life when your still working out left from right, it will stump you before you've even had a chance to bud Ripple effect
It ABSOLUTELY CAN... That said, it doesn't necessarily have to. Everyone has their (different) own limits and psychological armor. It's what makes psychological care and healing difficult. What's probably going to surprise you is that just about EVERYBODY got bullied at some point or another in school... Kids are ruthless and can smell fear like little animals. They lack the sensibilities and judgment of adults, and when they find something funny, they'll ALL have to chip in their individual "two cents" to say something funny and add to the "fun"... To the single poor individual in the center of attention, this comes across as everyone picking on them... EVEN the "good natured" kids who wouldn't dream of being malicious get roped in by their wish to be fun and funny, and while there isn't necessarily any remarkably bad intentions, the fact that every kid likes to be a comedian at some level still "mounds up" and impresses the single kid "with a problem" with the malice of even a violent attack... To the "professionals"... It's easy to be dismissive. Many of them got into their field for their own healing reasons. Self healing leads to a little education and that inspires curiosity to more... gaining the power over their own minds and insecurities leads them to WANT to help others and feel more powerful for themselves, too... BUT it comes with "baggage". SO they find it difficult to see someone with "lesser" historical accounts as having the same issue they dealt with. "That's nothing. When I was getting bullied..." as it were. It doesn't necessarily make them "bad" at their jobs, but it doesn't seem like helpful to YOU... and that's what's important here. The best advice is "Don't shut up." about it. Participate in the therapies and rituals they recommend, of course... BUT bring up the bullying if you feel the trauma is related to it, and SEEK to get the healing you need. They may still VERY WELL have good reasons and solid advice about your other issues, and those may be better treated BEFORE facing down the traumas from bullying and what that's done "in damage"... BUT don't give up. I had my share of bullying, too... Violently, even. I've since grown up and spent 30 years riding motorcycles through a dozen or more different countries... AND I'd still rather ride than breathe, as if that's even a choice... BUT there have been situations. I've been to more than a "rodeo" or two, figuratively. I've always been able to get back on the bike, though... I've lost friends both in the sense of death and in the sense of ending the relationship, to the sport. Some of those instances have legitimately been traumatizing. I've spent months shaking all over whenever I got on the bike and just doing the low-speed drills to prove to myself that the world won't come crashing to an end because I decided to ride a motorcycle again... SO while I've always been able to get back to it, it has NOT always been just as easy or as simple as throwing my leg over the bike and taking off "business as usual"... Trauma does that to you. I'm a bit more of a loner, even as an "ambivert" because of the crap in my child-hood... BUT I've refused to let that tear me down and push people away from me. They can still be decent... I just let myself take MY time to warm up to them... AND I'll always LOVE my "Me-time". SO... I've got a motorcycle, and I'm not going to be afraid to hop on the thing for a ride when people start getting on my last ragged nerve. I don't know how helpful this is for y'all... BUT I hope its either entertaining or comforting as much as it's informative or otherwise beneficent. Keep it BETWEEN the ditches, and wheelie-side down, now. Ya' hear? ;o)
this is really good, should probrably talk about affects of trauma more often, exspecially becauce it seems like the only person on here who talks about affects of trauma often is kati.
Over and over and over again. I get close to people who are not good for me and I replay the trauma all over again. BPD and me. Wish I could afford a good therapist. Even if I could, I couldn't take time off work every week.
Good video. And by the way Dr Tracey, I just bought a copy of the why am I so anxious book. It shows up on the Amazon app on my Android now. I never get close to people, I delete people's phone numbers delete my Facebook and remove all my Facebook friends, uninstall messenger app etc. I'm afraid of being abandoned and I don't want to get close to people. I don't trust people. I always try to end friendships and relationships before they end it on me first. Why am I like this? When all I want is to be loved and understood.
Personally, I don't like the expression "negative emotions" - I use "difficult/unpleasant emotions" instead. Because imo every emotion is a positive natural response to something happening, and is a stage in processing of stuff. "Negative" only enters the context, if a person chooses an unhealthy path of action as a result of some emotion. For me, a "negative" emotional state was depression with absence of any emotions. After struggling for years with this kind of depression, I've come to appreciate being emotional, even if I'm sad or angry or scared etc.
My ex was abusive in every way possible. He would sneak up on me and attack me when I got home as I walked from my car to my house. He would drive super close behind me try to swerve my car off the road with his car so that I would crash. He even climbed my 2nd story balcony to see if I was cheating. I was never allowed to get a restraining order because he’s a cop and was ignored once law enforcement found out he’s “one of them.” I’ve been 5 years no contact and he finally left me alone about 2 years ago, but I still am on high alter everywhere I go. Don’t know if I could ever trust a man again. Been in therapy for years but sometimes I feel like that only helps by having a witness that knows all of my horror stories in case he decides to come back to punish me for leaving him... I’m not posting this as a pitty party or trying to get sympathy. I’m not sad that it happened these days. I’m just very angry… My advice is as soon as you see the first red flag 🚩, RUN and block that person. Cut off all ties. There were so many red flags I naively ignored and that’s what haunts me most times. That I should’ve been smarter and made better logical choices. Always go with what you know than what you feel because making decisions based solely on love and hope can do more harm than good. Stay safe.🖤
Aww babes I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, life it’s so unfair I swear. But I hear you and see you and I know you will trust men again and he will reward you all the joy you lost because of this psycho xx
We tend to ignore red flags because we want to see good in people. Please don't beat yourself up. You're super strong for surviving that sick asshole and recognising the abuse that happened to you. I hope you heal and get to feel better everyday.
Which sorta of red flags do you think we should watch for ? Thank you 💗
Fr
What were the red flags we should look out for?!
6:53 “Fear followed by avoidance of things related to the fear makes the fear grow bigger and sometimes morph into other fears.” This hit hard. I hope I get better.
I wish you all the best ❤
@@birgitbranderrasmussen Thank you for your kind words
As someone whose being trained in Psychology,she’s really good and I look up to her! Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks a lot Diana! All the best with your training 👍🏽
I totally concur.
Excellent A+ status
If you are not listening already to him, listen to, Professor Sam Vaknin.
“Being trained in psychology”? Lol how does that work?
Damn, I have avoidant and paranoid personality traits and that resonate deep. Living with constant fear and anxiety is not fun at all. I almost lost my job and failed college multiple times because of this. It's so hard to overcome the paranoid thoughts and fear. Sometimes, last year I was just sitting in my bath petrified of the future. I almost became alcoholic. Ativan worked greatly to calm my anxiety attack at job.
@lLuminousMoonl I'm like this!! I stress whenever my husband is away from me. I didn't realize it was such a problem until I stayed a night away and I was panicking the entire time. I'm pregnant so I've been really struggling with anxiety over the future and trying to get/feel better about possibly being alone or trusting him being away from me.
@@Asme1111-t8h exercise and diet help the most honestly. Vitamin D too! I take vitamin D & K2 along with some other vitamins and prenatal. I noticed a huge difference in mood.
I was recently diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD and I almost lost my job because I would constantly have panic attacks (I’m closing shift) I started therapy and Anxiety meds and I haven’t had a panic attack in Months and I was able to get out of my comfort zone!! I downloaded a dating app and make friends there!
It took a lot of errors, some medication was giving me sucidal thoughts and another one was making me supeeer numb but I found the right dose and medication for me and I’m very functional now!
Oh I’m in the process of Becoming the boss of everyone too!! About to get a raise and everything it took some months but definitely there’s always a way u should definitely seek professional help and give a peep talk to yourself
Be careful of Ativan it should be used less then two weeks
@@волк-ы1ш sounds like you have attachment distress...seek therapy...
I’m sure I saw this today for a reason.. My dad was killed by a drunk driver in front of my house, picking up my daughter Holly Joy..she blames herself, had 10 months of residential treatment, so victorious! Less than 6 months later she was diagnosed with cancer at 15 and I lost her at 21..she left me 10 years ago and I’m breaking now…my psychiatrist only prescribed medications which was a very bad thing…..thank you so much for this video, as it is me😭My name is Ronnie….of course I used my Holly’s name for this…
Tenderest condolences, Ronnie. I'm so sorry.
Therapy time
That is the single most tragic fucking thing I've ever heard of in my life. You deserve all the mental health support and love in this world.
I lost my husband when I was 32 after a gun accident in our livingroom (it was not suicide)
I am now 42, live with my mom, have acquaintances but no real friends and have become a hermit. Living on a small island and being self employed helps with this lifestyle. I just don't want to lose anyone anymore. It's easier being alone.
Art helps a lot though!
Dr Marks, I'd love to have on as my therapist..You're kind, intelligent, and patient. If only everyone could find a Dr just like you, we'd all be feeling much better! Bless you and yours Dr Marks.
I use the 54321 grounding technique and breathing exercises. Also I count back from 100 by 7. These practices really help.
Very good Little Lulu. I like the 54321 too, it's so simple.
Count back from 100 by 7? Aight Stephen Hawking go'on with your bad self 👀
@@o-wolf LOL I know right? Wonderful skill ... I am going to count backwards by 5 .... possibly 1 depending on how bad the PTSD is that day ...
@@MyKrabi You know what's interesting? that method peaked my interest due to my own strange interwoven relationship with PTSD trauma &math
I developed (I think) brain damage from a brain related injury &didn't realise (until many years later) that my numerical ability &ability to concentrate on general had diminished severely.. throughout highschool I just assumed I wasn't good at or disliked math/numbers &kept telling myself this (perhaps as a coping mechanism) it was only MUCH later after talking to old friends/teachers etc that they reminded me how much I excelled at math from an early age up until 12/13 (around the time of my accident)
then after some digging up of old notebooks &journals I could prettymuch SEE the stark diff in the before &after the accident all across my work even in terms of my writing skill (both prose &strangely my actual handwriting) which post accident looking back had devolved to an almost childlike state..
My work in school suffered greatly my concentration was nil &while I grasped concepts I just couldn't focus for any substantial amount of time &after a while I just wanted to get it over with &get out.
Many years later my abstract intelligence has somewhat recovered &I'm considered intelligent by friends &family I can hold indepth or at least inquisitive debates on a variety of different subjects..
But I now unfortunately am barely able do basic times tables (something which became a source of great shame &self loathing for a while) &though I was once able to complex long division in my head (with an aid of my trusty invisible pad lol) now I just lose track get frustrated &give up.
@@DrTraceyMarks counting back from 100 by 7 stops rumination when trying to fall asleep.
this is one of the only channels I've ever seen that translates psychiatric knowledge to the general public without really watering it down. Grade A psychoeducation.
When you go through enough traumatic experiences it can lead to what’s known as “Analysis Paralysis”. Essentially becoming unable to make future decisions due to the negative outcomes from past decisions. This coupled with traumatic experiences intentionally caused by others leaves one utterly hopeless. Unable to process the conflicting cognitive dissonance distortions leads to paralysis.
I have experienced physical trauma and it has definitely changed my way of thinking. Thank you for this video. 💖🌟
You're welcome April 😊
At age 10, I felt hatred, anger, & confusion after experiencing my very first heartbreak when my narcissistic mother gave my dog away while I was at school one day. The loss was an unexpected & incomprehensible traumatic experience for me.
I got home from school one day & my stomach dropped, Sassy was missing, my dog was gone. After seeing me cry & searching everywhere to no avail, my neighbor finally told me what happened. I didn’t understand why my parent would do this, as she gave me no warnings or indications that this would occur. When she got home from work I asked her why. She avoided me for hrs telling me to leave her alone & stop my crying over “nonsense”.
Later that night she finally answered however, it was w/a slap to my face & her yelling at me to stop me “pestering her about the stupid dog” as she’s the adult & im the child she can do whatever. This made me cry even more, & to stop me from crying she gave me beating in my room w/her hands & a belt telling me to shut up & go to bed or she will “give me something truly worth crying for”.
The bottomless pit created by this wound has made avoid getting close to anyone due to fears of them either taking away something that I love, or me losing them. Both of which I’ve already experienced in mid 20s adding more fuel to my paranoia where now as I’m in my early 20s I avoid evry1 & everything.
I’m sending you positive vibes and thoughts and I hope you might consider getting a pet again. I had a similar mother and I find animals way more emotionally safe than people. It’s now a constant in my life, I am never without a pet in my life and I go from there. When I’m feeling okay I give ppl a chance, but when not, my dogs are very comforting. If that makes sense. I’m rooting for you. ♥️
I know I’m 7 months late but sending love and blessings to you ❤
I'm 47 years old and this year, for the very first time in my life. I did what I've never thought I would do: have a dog.
I was always afraid to get close to let my heart open again to love an animal.
I don't regret it. I love my dog and the love I get from her is healing me.
It breaks my heart to read what happened to you.
I can't imagine coming home and not seeing my puppy at home. That would just tear me down.
Give yourself a chance to get a dog.
Sending you a hug and so much love
I’m in tears. I feel validated from this. Thank you!
Yes! Long term journaling can be a good self-therapy if you are in a situation where you can't get help. I wish everyone had a Dr. Marks.
😳 She just explain how my brain works. Thank you, I have so much to work on but this video just helped me to be more aware of my trauma responses!
Speaking of avoiding I’ve been avoiding watching your videos because they just make me realize things that I wasn’t expecting to face again but that being said thank you for making these videos they make me feel less alone 😊💕
My parents divorced when I was baby and my mother left me to live with my grandparents, what I wouldn't change for anything.. I remember looking some movie and sentence "People always leave" and that stuck in my head since.. I was 12 years old... So more than half of my life..
🍀💚
@Sam Smith don't know movie but very good that sentence..
Thank you. Myself and children have severe PTSD all these points are so relatable, we will certainly try some of the techniques whilst waiting for more therapy.
Dr Marks, Could you address the effects of bullying on future behavior? I am assuming that bullying/teasing is traumatic and regular, for instance bullying that occurs at school or work. Also, are there different responses to bullying depending on the victim's age when it occurs, for instance childhood, teens, young adult, etc?
Thanks for this suggestion this is a very important topic. I'll look into this.
I'd be interested in this as well. These videos are proving to be very informative for analyzing my behavior after a workplace bullying experience in 2019.
And coping skills some have while others don't
I'd be very interested in this as well. My daughter was severely bullied all the way through elementary and middle school. She now has anxiety and depression and is on meds for it.
It ruined me and has made me so paranoid heading out because I don't want to be recognized by someone I use to work with. I overthink everything about whether people are looking at me, if they recognize me etc. It sucks.
I've still got PTSD for almost 20yrs after I lost my daddy tragically at 7yrs old in June 2002. His new intoxicated gf shot him in his heart point blank and got away with it! Sadly, it was a Huge Cover Up. My poor mom fought it for almost 9yrs but had NO LUCK! 💔💔I was in a BAD car accident in 8 2016. Nearly killed me bc of the negligent driver running a red light. Had to have Emergency Surgery that saved my Life. I still have PTSD over that as well. It's just HORRIBLE! Be safe y'all.
Thanks for this video. Just today I had a terrible anxiety attack when a stranger started talking to me and I felt awful afterwards because I think he was just trying to be friendly but I couldn't control my thoughts/reaction. This has happened to me too many times now.
For context, I grew up in a country that transformed from a democracy to a dictatorship and you couldn't trust officials anymore and it's atrocious . That also destroyed the economy and crime skyrocketed. I experienced mugs. I also experienced a rape that had further consequences. Now I live in a really safe country for a couple of years. But I just feel I can't feel safe like most people do here. It's awful.
Dr. Tracy is that auntie that you admire so much because she seems to always have the right answer for everything. ❤️
You are a good teacher, Dr Marks. I am healing from c-ptsd and have experienced all this (and more, to do with memory). For the first time in a few years, I feel hopeful that I can recover or at least transform my trials into victories. Thank you for your good work.
She’s so straight on. Been learning this stuff through my trauma therapist. I love your videos as they go in depths.
Will those poor kids that got shot that made it out alive, will they have depression, pure anxiety and PTSD guaranteed by default because of the shock??? I don’t know how 8 through 11yr olds are going to deal with these harsh realities that just took place yesterday.
No doubt they will be haunted by the experience for the rest of their lives.
Technically it will all depend on the individual. Unfortunately, however, many of those kids I assume will be affected by the issues you listed for a while
I wonder if we will call them monsters when that trauma makes one of them do something terrible? I wonder if we will be able to recognize that all lives have context, or if we will throw that context away the moment it complicates things.
@@TubeytimeMaybe it is easier to forget that we all have our own histories that influence our decisions in life, and especially easy to forget for those individuals that make terrible choices…but in the end, it is not our past that forced the decisions we make. We all have a choice.
@@Tubeytime I don’t feel all that bad for the shooters. They made that choice. The least society can do is try and make it easier for the next generation of kids, whatever that may be exactly, so that their decision making skills will be stronger and driven with wisdom, right?
When she was going through the journaling is the way I work through situations with my reactive dog. He unfortunately has some pretty bad experiences I’m working to figure out how to help him, these are the steps I go through. it does help figuring out a situation you don’t feel control in.
😔 abandonment is hard to heal from but I know I’ll get there
Dr. Tracy, it’s a serve you read my mind. Exactly how I feel right now. Paranoid, avoiding, I just went through a difficult situation and I can’t even think straight. Thank you for your information God bless you. You’re awesome!
This was extremely helpful for my driving anxiety issues.
I have all of the above Tracey. I could tell you all the reasons why I grew up feeling like the world is a cruel and violent place. Also why I am helpless and powerless to protect myself. Why people leave and/or forget you.
So all of the above.
Trauma in some cases may cause extreme behavioural changes. The person may become fearful and paranoid. He may become somewhat schizophrenic, believing that he's seen or heard threats to himself and, despite family and friends believing that such threats aren't real, he can't be convinced otherwise. The person does not even recognise that he's ill or has any problem, and so refuses to seek help.
Thanks!
I just found you.
I was diagnosed with PTSD 20 years ago after a horrible accident underground. It has gone untreated.
I finally got drugs from a psychiatrist. They keep me from going completely crazy.
In Canada you can’t see a therapist unless you have insurance or are wealthy.
I will watch you faithfully going forward.
Thankyou!!!
Thanks so much Fang! I’m so glad you finally got some help. Emma at @TherapyinaNutshell is also a great channel to watch.
As a trauma survivor who has held several of these distortions (and am still in the process of resolving) and has had several very unhealthy coping mechanisms over the years, it was interesting to have it explored in such a simple, almost clinical way. Another great video
WOW...Thank you for this video! I've been given handouts about cognitive distortion, but no one has ever explained it as clearly as this. I really appreciate this. Been trying to heal from past trauma for years and just never really understood, even with therapy, how to get past it.
Thank you for communicating in such a logical way. I am excited to see your book and the illustrations. Have an amazing day ❤️🙏✨
Thanks so much Ca D! You too! ❤️
Things are finally healing, goals being met, dynamics are coming about that are a perfect fit, for my beloved, created family members.. so I'm suddenly terrified something will destroy it... scared of catastrophic loss, now that overcoming many traumatic years of PAS, Narc abuse effects...my family deserves this good, hard won..now I'm just terrified, as a mom and grandmother
It's so important that we take care of our own needs without sacrificing our well-being to satisfy and please others. When you can, take breaks if need to, meditate, take a walk and be kind to yourself for the practice of self-care. Do whatever makes you feel that inner peace and calmness that's needed for your mental health and overall well-being.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Very true to all of that. Thanks Goddess of Love. 😊
Thanks for this video. A connoisseur of trauma (painful surgery age 2, avoidant mother, dysfunctional family, battle trauma from eye-witnessing 9/11, 3 year recovery from serious heart surgery, and finally being wiped out in family court by, you guessed it: an avoidant partner who always failed to show up [except for court dates]). I try to hide my bristling at the popularization of the words trauma and triggered. Life is traumatic, yes, but some ppl get more of it and need more help.
I store certain events in my memory. The events are scarred in my brain. I relive them and sometimes I have to scream to throw something or slap myself , do anything to break the flashback , if I don’t it fills me with the worst feelings. Some of these memories are seeing pets dying in agony, accidentally killing my lizard when I was very young, shooting an arrow from a bow straight up in the sky when my little brother was right next to me. To name a few. I can’t undo them, just add more to the pile of things that haunt me. Death will bring silence and peace.
Fear is located in the conscious mind. Understanding and healing fear is done through accessing the subconscious. Cognitive ladders are good at recognizing things but so poor at controlling or releasing fears. Well done video.
Dr. Marks, Your video on trauma prompts me to write. I have a neighbor that walks into my home behind closed doors without knocking, and comes over every time I have contractors working on my house, and entering behind closed doors.. I hinted that he can't come into my home thinking he would get it; Finally I told him to stop and he became unbelievably enraged. There was no chance for me to speak to him. And now he is taunting me, calling me names etc and for a over a year, always acting like a child. The police have told him to stay off my property but won't take care of his bullying "freedom of speech". they explained as he is on his property. Though I ignore him, he has continued for a year and not sure when he will go into a rage again, and directed at me. His hate for me is obvious. And Obviously he has a personally disorder, very childish and focuses on me and won't give up. Clearly he needs help but I always encounter his name calling and childish behavior if he sees me. I am targeted. When I ignore him, he becomes absolutely enraged, calls me names for awhile then lets up but it always starts up again. .His rage was something I have never experienced and scared he will eventually become violent. His continued taunting is frightening in regard to his mental state. I have even sought counseling as I fear he will turn his rage into violence until he is satisfied with his anger, and all is centered about my not having done anything. I have been told to move and in that process. Comments? Is he a narcissist or have a personality disorder that can't be helped. He is in his late 70's and I am a senior as well.
The first part of the video mentions recognizing and resourcing… I just want to say that in the beginning it can be incredibly hard to get to a place where one can sustainability self resource. The first phase is the awareness of noticing the reaction/triggers… even that is a worthy enough win and can be difficult to achieve depending on one’s environment/support system. The next part has to do with the internal willingness to do/try to resource, as well as the willingness to try again even if it doesn’t go as planned the first time/times.
I want to say that the journey to working on oneself and evolving mentally is the hardest thing any one person can do. And if relief hasn’t come yet, to not give up completely and that your every try/effort/noticing is worth something on your journey of many steps! 💗
Thanks for the video, Dr. Marks. I always feel comforted and understood by your videos about trauma.
I love your videos, you’ve helped me so much during the pandemic, where I was forced to go deep into my trauma. You’re great at synthesizing information and communicating it clearly and briefly. Thank you for wha you do. Love from Mexico ☁️✨
I love the way you explain things. You have a great gift for breaking down complicated concepts and making them easy to understand. Your videos have been helpful to my healing journey.
Your videos always lead me to decluttering my mind. Finding your channel has been a blessing 🙌✨️
I appreciated this episode. Related: Have you covered the topic of hypervigilence as a result of repeated trauma?
Another video that accurately aimed to the cause of the specific mentality issue. Just come here to say, thank you for revealing precious and free knowledge that really points out the main reasons and effects as a professional psychiatrist. Your vibe reminds me of Whitney Houston btw
Our house burnt down, and as an artist musician and collector of books i lost all. We lost three cats and two dogstwomyears ago. And i still grieve.
You're amazing! Just wanted to say that. People like you are needed.
You are an excellent professional with excellent teaching skills! Accompanying people towards autonomy also requires this ability to transmit. Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks for sharing.
Dr. Marks, thank you so much for what you do on your channel! There have been many times where you have helped me process challenging situations I have been in. I appreciate you!
Thank you so much for a clear and detailed explanation of what I was experiencing🌻
I'm so glad I found this channel.
It's been helping a lot. Thank you so very much!
I love everything you post. 😍 Thank you for everything. Especially for the worksheets and resources on your website. May God bless you. I have a therapist , but I'm grateful to also have your education videos here for free. I pray that your sales of all your products sail through the roof.
You are a blessing to many of us✨
Thank you
I have cptsd and it is a struggle getting close to people and my thinking/memory whew I've been taking Magnesium l threonate thanks to your video and b12 which had been helpful but my mind isn't how it used to be. Honestly I would love to sue or get some type of retribution for the changes they have caused
Have the vitamins helped your memory/thinking? Or you’re sueing because it made things worse?
She likely means she wishes to sue those who caused her hurt.
Taking legal action sounds like it would feel good. There is a lot of research that says it could make you feel worse. Realizing that it didn't help you deepens your sense of loss. Do the hard therapy that will make more of a difference.
@@Cathy-xi8cb I think in many cases it's not just about closure, it's possible the person they're suing may be an extreme danger to others, and it's better to at least get your case out. Even if you lose, other people will hear about it and be aware. I think that's what matters most
It's incredible and my ability to perceive reality has been enhanced not only that I also write music that's gone totally insane
Thank you for this! Great reminders for me to ground myself and not to avoid.
As always many, many thanks! You're truly a gift to those with mental health issues! By all means keep them coming!
I grew up with an abusive mother and my father was absent. I also experienced racism, colorism, sexism, was jumped in school, I was stalked and harassed, and I was a victim of sexual assault from a guy friend. I went to my primary doctor and my therapist and I was diagnosed with anxiety ( panic disorder ) and depression.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, I'm glad that you are getting treatment! Good luck!
Love this deep dive into that negative beliefs about self and world part of PTSD and cPTSD, and general developmental trauma and how it impinges on personality. We often glance over this in checklist DSM based diagnostics but it's really the hear to healing is addressing these distortions. Note Prolonged Exposure moves the needle on these beliefs as well, evn if you are not addressing them directly. Often information that you did your best, you are competent are not guilty, not powerless- but this information is in the very memory you are avoiding. Ie- "oh yeah I did what anyone else would've done" when processing this memory in PE.
I luv your content, it helps me to understand how my therapist is able to see me and help me.
She's a brilliant woman and a great communicator.
Thank God for this channel Auntie this just brighten up my day, anyways God bless you Auntie and your beautiful family
Excellent video Dr. Marks. Thank you for making it simple for everyone to understand what are sometimes feelings and behaviors that can be difficult to understand and address. Dr. Marks could you perhaps talk about body image/dysmorphia/eating disorders and how they are sometimes related to traumatic experiences? Thank you.
Some of the flawed ways of thinking you mentioned made perfect sense to me even as I watched this video. Thanks for teaching me something!
Dr. Tracey Marks: this is SOO IMPORTANT for me!
Whoa this was a good video. Especially in light of the recent headlines. I feel like we are all living with some sort of a trauma 😕
I was adopted at 6 months. Before this I was in the hospital for a week until I got an earache. Then transferred to a temporary foster home for 5 weeks, then transferred to another foster home for 5 months, then adopted. I had this trauma behaviour before I was even old enough to have any clue where these feelings were coming from. Oh! And then my adoptive mother threatened to “send me back” at the very first sign of teenage rebellion at 15😡
Feeling Powerless is what I face. I have a Hiatal Hernia. I faced trauma on the day It occured. I could not breathe and I felt like I was being choked. I thought I was gonna die. I ran to the bathroom and forced myself to vomit in hopes it would open my air way and it did. ( or something else occured ). I was able to breathe again and I relieved, but I felt a pain that immediately sent me to the hospital.
Immediately following the next day started a trend that has taken years to fix. I could not eat or drink certain foods. I was so dehydrated that my skin was gray colored. after so many ambulance rides because of suffocation and hospital visits I finally found out the problem. My stomach pushed through my dhiaphragm. more and more symptoms popped up over time and I have suffered since.
Today ( about 4 almost 5 years later ) I still have some problems, but not as bad. However I am afraid to work ( even though I want to get off SSI and get a Job ) because I am afraid I can be alone and something bad can happen again. Doctors offer no help and tell me it's all in my head even when they know the diagnosis and consequences that can happen if it cannot one day be resolved. My G.I Doctor told me just to stay off high carb foods and ill be fine. The anxiety I have faced over this issue is strong and I am struggling, but not giving up.
As a PsyD student, your videos are really helpful! I would love a video about EMDR. :)
Helpful and timely. Thank you. Especially the person to person trauma and self blame.
I've encountered trauma as a child with an abusive alcoholic father. A sexual assault from a friend as a pre teen. I was in the army and there was stuff there. I've tried stuff, taken a lot of different medications. I still struggle with stuff harm and suicidal ideation. I'm still here, but it's getting harder lately.
Please know that what happened to you isn't your fault. The fact that you are still with us, shows that you have a will to live and to keep pushing. Please know that there is help available and many of us do care. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience.
You must find a way to clear your mind about the fact that all those people that hurt you are on their own journey, and somehow find forgiveness. Otherwise they win! You can't let them steal even one more minute of your peace.
@@christietanner8216 way easier said than done. But I appreciate the advice.
I hope you look into nervous system dysregulation and the polyvagal theory. Those are all trauma responses trapped in the body. You would need to do a body based trauma therpay than mind based therpay to bring the body back into homestasis.
@@ritaevergreen7234 that makes sense, I truly don't the VA cares enough to go that route.
I am SO grateful I found your channel.
I'm dealing with a Woman who does All of these things and this really helps me understand her, and that it's not me.
"Trauma effects how you store memories"
Gabor Mate said:
“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.”
Trauma effects our personality too, it warps and warts it with coping mechanisms. This is not disorder, this is reaction to trauma. Without it, we would die.
"PTSD"
There is also Complex PTSD.
CPTSD is not recognized by DSM, however it is recognized by ICD-11.
"The ICD-11 diagnosis of CPTSD consists of six symptom clusters: the three PTSD criteria of re-experiencing of the trauma, avoidance of trauma reminders, and heightened sense of threat (hypervigilance, startle response), and three disturbances of self-organisation (DSO) symptoms defined as emotional dysregulation, ..."
"Cognitive distortions"
All people have logical fallacies, jumping to quick conclusions, bias, prejudices, bigotry, availability heuristics, confirmation bias, filter.
This is not endemic to trauma, anxiety nor panic issues. We cannot remove it, this is human condition, we are not gods, we are not super humans, we are vulnerable and wrong - quite often. If we try to overcome it, we will develop perfectionism issues, which is at the heart of OCD and mental illness.
"Breaking out of this pattern"
It is more layering off trauma responses such as fawning and realizing we are not broken, we are not flawed, we are not wrong.
"Reaction out of proportion to the trigger"
Traumatized empaths try not to bother other people. Then reactions becomes people pleasing and fawning - which means being stuck in toxic ambient and shutting up and self-censoring - being taken advantage off due to need to keep reaction out of proportion as suggested by CBT.
In reality, the only problem are toxic people.
IF we do not feel psychological safety - there is something wrong with other people, not us.
If we decide to self pathologize our reactions, we will crap fit into abuse and criminally insane psychopaths.
Anyone who experienced trauma - it is sign such individual was conditioned into subservience, silence and keeping quiet. Problem is operand conditioning and hypnosis and order, command to keep things out of proportion.
Since CBT does not understand this, CBT joins into gaslighting and invalidation and thus contributing to the already present trauma as manipulator, at the side of abuser(s).
"Keeping people out of distance"
If people are toxic, if we are in toxic ambient - it is totally ok to be alone and away from toxic people.
"Grounding exercises"
All techniques that are directed in telling our brain that we are wrong, inept and that we must fix ourselves will breed toxic shame. It will not bring grounding in the end - instead it will result in hypervigilance and perfectionism. This is what abusers are doing to the target: to us become fit into their crap.
In short:
"Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame"
Peter Levine
"Feeling powerless - cognitive distortion"
However if we explain our trauma response as distortion, our brain will not become powerful. This information will be interpreted by brain that all people are normal and healthy without any bias, while we are distorted due to abuse - and we must fix ourselves, we must watch out our thoughts. This leads to PureOCD, rumination and toxic shame - deep sense we are inept to handle life. We cannot fight cognitive distortions by new cognitive distortions. Labeling is cognitive distortion itself.
"Exposure and desensitization"
Exposure must be done in observed ambient - this information is written in small letters. Exposure does not mean that we take it on ourselves.
If we live in slum - exposure to drugs and criminals will not make us healthy at all. If we move to Chernobyl, we will not develop anti-radiation powers, we will die instead of cancer due to exposure to deadly radiation. We can see Desensitization is also cognitive distortion by CBT - in movie A Clockwork Orange it is showed that Desensitization leads to depression and lethargy. It is said if Man is unable to choose, he ceases to be a man. This means, if we lobotomize our quirks, perks, caprices just to fit in into groupthink, herd mentality and conformism, to make other people comfortable - world will not become safe nor happy. Instead toxic people who are not willing to seek therapy will run over us - like Trump or Putin or Republicans or conspiracy theorists. They will manipulate and use narcissistic abuse to exert control over everyone. And without our sensitivity to disorder, we won't be able to react to sick people.
Without ability to protest, nothing will change.
Without reaction to hurt, Darwin says we will perish. Our ability to adapt to surroundings is crucial in life - it is part of life. Anything else is death.
"Work on your mindset"
As Levine said, if we decide to follow Jordan Peterson advice to hate ourselves, to blame ourselves and to fix ourselves - we will develop narcissism and mental illness and psychopathy. Schizophrenia is when we are not authentic, but we create different person inside us. That is severe mental illness.
Mindset is our own, we are all different and individual, this makes us special and unique, it is not something to crop, hide or develop toxic shame about. We can improve only when we accept ourselves as we are. If we decide to improve in order to be superior to others, we will develop narcissism, psychopathy. If we decide to fix ourselves in order not to feel uncomfortable feelings - we will fight life itself and basic facts of life: that struggle and problems are part of life. We cannot control other people, we cannot control external events. To believe that we can change and fix problems by changing our mind - leads to severe mental illness and this is the reason why CBT ought to be banned.
Nitpicking our thoughts that are result of living in toxic ambient will only lead to more anxiety and mental issues.
Trauma model was discovered in 2002 - google it, however corrupt medical industry keep this as secret because Pharma mafia is making money on human neurosis, it is number one income for them, constant influx of money, that can be resolved quickly about learning on banned and censored information: Complex PTSD, Polyvagal theory. Emotional dysregulation, Amygdala hijacking, External referencing locus of control, trauma bonding.
CBT follows cognitive distortion logic, logical fallacy - that we can change our mindset by whim. We cannot.
Maslow discovered that we cannot work or modulate nor fix any self esteem issues - if we do not feel basically safe.
Maslow triangle shows that we must first make sure we are safe, feel psychological safety - and then actualization will come as natural process, not something that we can force.
To nitpick our thoughts is the same as plastic surgery. We end up being and looking like monster in our trying to be perfect and accepted and validated by toxic and abusive people who would not care about us at all if we were perfect.
Trauma is sign we were surrounded by toxic people. It was not our fault. We are not wrong. And we have nothing to fix about our core self. Instead we need to skin off onion layer of toxic shame and safety mechanisms and coping mechanisms by cutting contact with toxic people - muting them, ignoring them, minimizing contact with them.
We can divide people in two major groups
1) people who care about others, seek interdependence and Long spoon analogy, empaths, seeking solutions and safety for all
and
2) selfish people who are egocentric, narcissistic, who seek own pleasure and avoidance of pain at any most, overcompensation of toxic shame by creating superhuman mindset to conquer and control other people over.
CBT is narcissistic tool created by narcissists for the narcissists. It is legalized mental illness tool to create more mental illness in society.
At the heart of CBT in invalidation, self hate, self blame, self rejection, toxic shame, perfectionism and general control instead of harmony.
Instead of dysfunctional CBT which creates new Trumps there are Humanistic therapies, Humanistic psychology.
Quote to consider:
Carl Jung | Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER:
The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.
"Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering.
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured."
The Highly Sensitive Person,
Elaine N. Aron
Improving our relationships is improving our mental health.
William Glasser
Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships.
Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs.
WILLIAM GLASSER
Controlling Habits:
Blaming
Criticizing
Complaining
Nagging
Rewarding To Control
Threatening
Punishing
William Glasser
William Glasser "What's my Choice" Connecting Habits:
Listening
Supporting
Encouraging
Negotiating
Respecting
Accepting
Trusting
Thank you. I needed this today and I'm sure many others do too.
I appreciate this so much, ive been hearing a lot about journaling but didn't understand how to go about it. Thank you so much 🙏
Thank you! Can you please do a video explaining Dissociative Fugue? I think I experienced this but know it is very rare. For over a month I had no idea who I was communicating with, where I was going, saying, or doing. Participating in activities against my core values. I hurt many people during this episode and want to know what could have happened. Thank you
Go to ISST-D and learn more from the pros on trauma. She failed to mention them in her video. Site is full of info.
Good morning Dr Marks. I hope you have a peaceful day.
Thank you 1Jotun I hope you do too! 😊❤️
Thank you for all your videos Dr! You truly are a gem on UA-cam. May you be covered in blessings.
sounds like I'm on track with a great psychologist. Definitely work.
In physics, physicists have discovered concepts that basically are related but have undetermined direct origin. I like to think of this as meeting the edge of the bubble of knowledge we live in. So even in the physical world, there are things beyond our understanding, and so it is with everything else. It is so relieving to put certain things in the 'out of my control' category so you are exempt from having to deal with them. I call them 'out of my realm.' As a Christian I know that God has let us know some things but not everything or else we we be god as well and that is impossible bc the definition of God is 1. So some things are placed in our realm and the rest is in God's. This makes the serenity prayer make total sense.
what ı wrote in the past made me realize that ı was mentally dysfunctional at then due to highly emotional and unbalanced way of thinking or maybe "not thinking" at all. ı try to think and act on logic each and everyday of my life these days thanks to the self evaluation ı made. ı am not ashamed of myself because ı was far away from my true identity and now ı am perfectly capable of seeing gaps in beetween the logic and expression ı made at then. ı hope everyone become more aware and understanding about human psychology and wont stigmatize people who encountures some difficulties in life and have no idea how to deal with them effectively.
Can intensive bullying in school later develop into some kind of PTSD or cognitive distortions? I tried many therapies, but when mentioning bullying professionals didn´´t take it as a big problem, even though for me it was a 7 year inferno. As always, many thanks for your videos. They have been like a godsend for psychoeducation. Even though I am under professional care, I can educate myself and better understand what is going on.
Could be, i feel similar
Although in my case it were two or three short but intense phases of bullying
Same thing has happened to me. None of my therapists have taken my bullying as something important, even though I still have nightmares about it. They're like: well, it's been years since you graduated, so you should let it go. However, I still have some of that trauma, as in my case, were 13 years of intense and horrible bullying
Yes it can
I was bullied not only in primary but also secondary but I was too insecure to be known as a bullied again so i soldierd on later to be diagnosed with ADHD depression anxiety self loathing severe social anxiety, I really struggled, especially when it came to girlfriends, no word of a lie Bungie jumping would give me less anxiety, I'd always second guess myself and try to please everyone almost desperate for approval, because the years of bullying stripped all if any self esteem I had no confidence, only stress, anxiety and constant fear, hesitation, certain people that remind me of some of the bully people uk know them as chavs, put me in a state of defense, on edge
Bullying can fuck you up man because it happens right at the start of your life when your still working out left from right, it will stump you before you've even had a chance to bud
Ripple effect
It ABSOLUTELY CAN...
That said, it doesn't necessarily have to. Everyone has their (different) own limits and psychological armor. It's what makes psychological care and healing difficult.
What's probably going to surprise you is that just about EVERYBODY got bullied at some point or another in school... Kids are ruthless and can smell fear like little animals. They lack the sensibilities and judgment of adults, and when they find something funny, they'll ALL have to chip in their individual "two cents" to say something funny and add to the "fun"... To the single poor individual in the center of attention, this comes across as everyone picking on them... EVEN the "good natured" kids who wouldn't dream of being malicious get roped in by their wish to be fun and funny, and while there isn't necessarily any remarkably bad intentions, the fact that every kid likes to be a comedian at some level still "mounds up" and impresses the single kid "with a problem" with the malice of even a violent attack...
To the "professionals"... It's easy to be dismissive. Many of them got into their field for their own healing reasons. Self healing leads to a little education and that inspires curiosity to more... gaining the power over their own minds and insecurities leads them to WANT to help others and feel more powerful for themselves, too... BUT it comes with "baggage".
SO they find it difficult to see someone with "lesser" historical accounts as having the same issue they dealt with. "That's nothing. When I was getting bullied..." as it were. It doesn't necessarily make them "bad" at their jobs, but it doesn't seem like helpful to YOU... and that's what's important here.
The best advice is "Don't shut up." about it. Participate in the therapies and rituals they recommend, of course... BUT bring up the bullying if you feel the trauma is related to it, and SEEK to get the healing you need. They may still VERY WELL have good reasons and solid advice about your other issues, and those may be better treated BEFORE facing down the traumas from bullying and what that's done "in damage"... BUT don't give up.
I had my share of bullying, too... Violently, even. I've since grown up and spent 30 years riding motorcycles through a dozen or more different countries... AND I'd still rather ride than breathe, as if that's even a choice... BUT there have been situations. I've been to more than a "rodeo" or two, figuratively. I've always been able to get back on the bike, though... I've lost friends both in the sense of death and in the sense of ending the relationship, to the sport. Some of those instances have legitimately been traumatizing. I've spent months shaking all over whenever I got on the bike and just doing the low-speed drills to prove to myself that the world won't come crashing to an end because I decided to ride a motorcycle again... SO while I've always been able to get back to it, it has NOT always been just as easy or as simple as throwing my leg over the bike and taking off "business as usual"... Trauma does that to you.
I'm a bit more of a loner, even as an "ambivert" because of the crap in my child-hood... BUT I've refused to let that tear me down and push people away from me. They can still be decent... I just let myself take MY time to warm up to them... AND I'll always LOVE my "Me-time". SO... I've got a motorcycle, and I'm not going to be afraid to hop on the thing for a ride when people start getting on my last ragged nerve.
I don't know how helpful this is for y'all... BUT I hope its either entertaining or comforting as much as it's informative or otherwise beneficent. Keep it BETWEEN the ditches, and wheelie-side down, now. Ya' hear? ;o)
this is really good, should probrably talk about affects of trauma more often, exspecially becauce it seems like the only person on here who talks about affects of trauma often is kati.
Hi I’m an intp , I almost amen 🙏🏾 you on the first point …thing is , I don’t feel able to change that, I’ll probably be an hermit forever
Made it very easy to understand. Thank you Doctor.
This video is so necessary, thank you Dr. Marks! Wishing you the best. 🙏🏾💛🙏🏾
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much for your work.
This is so important, and this was done exceptionally well! Thank you for sharing this 🙏 I needed this.
Over and over and over again. I get close to people who are not good for me and I replay the trauma all over again. BPD and me. Wish I could afford a good therapist. Even if I could, I couldn't take time off work every week.
Thank you Dr. Tracy, always informative, may God bless you always.
Good video. And by the way Dr Tracey, I just bought a copy of the why am I so anxious book. It shows up on the Amazon app on my Android now.
I never get close to people, I delete people's phone numbers delete my Facebook and remove all my Facebook friends, uninstall messenger app etc. I'm afraid of being abandoned and I don't want to get close to people. I don't trust people. I always try to end friendships and relationships before they end it on me first. Why am I like this? When all I want is to be loved and understood.
OK, so you just described me better in 59 seconds than most of my councilors could in YEARS of work.
I want more. I am studying all your videos 🙌
I really have learned a lot
Thank you, Thank you
U R Awesome 🤩 🙏🏽💯
Personally, I don't like the expression "negative emotions" - I use "difficult/unpleasant emotions" instead. Because imo every emotion is a positive natural response to something happening, and is a stage in processing of stuff. "Negative" only enters the context, if a person chooses an unhealthy path of action as a result of some emotion.
For me, a "negative" emotional state was depression with absence of any emotions. After struggling for years with this kind of depression, I've come to appreciate being emotional, even if I'm sad or angry or scared etc.
thank you, this video has made me feel less crazy
Yay so happy to see you have a book! Congratulations 🎉