"Numb, checked out, not in the moment." Spent my life there due to childhood PTSD. When I finally looked inward to try and understand my dysfunctions...the resulting revelations caused a tsunami of sorrow that was there waiting all the time for release. Now, learning to live in the present - in the moment - is making a world of difference; and the improvements are very gratifying to me.
I’d love a deeper dive into dissociation, how to snap out of it and recover currently as well as coping with a dissociated childhood. Definitely my biggest defense, I’ve lived the majority of my life in such a miserable state.
Look into grounding techniques. A common one is 5 4 3 2 1 identify five things you see in your environment and say it out loud then 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Another one is progressive relaxation. start with your toes tense them up and relax and do so with all the muscled up to your head. Not every one works for everyone but there are a lot.
@@versexscape7540 Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Wow, you just described me with the dissociation. I don't recall much of my childhood. I've had friends who've had to fill me in on things from childhood that I just do not remember.
My siblings do that to me. For them, it's like poured concrete. For me, it's hazy vagueness. "Remember when Dad road raged because he didn't want to visit his mother on Easter, and we coward in the back sit?" No, but thanks for another fawked up memory. Lol
Yeah it’s disturbing. But feels nice remembering new things on there than the routine of memories my brain circulates at night. It’s like opening a birthday present discovering a new memory. But I had anxiety as a kid from my nightmare disorder and sleep paralysis because my body trained itself that it’s a negative thing to sleep. I used to try and knock myself out just to be able to press pause. Death was peace to me. I became edgy. I became obsessive. But I know I had a healthy childhood. My mom has some guilt for loosing her temper or introducing concepts too early but that wasn’t the depth of my disturbance. It was the creatures at night. It was the electric buzzing up my spine three times a night I called “fear vibrations”. School was near impossible and I was out of it so much ppl thought I was a stoner at an age where I really wouldn’t be. These days I have a problem with accepting consequences. Like I still have sleep issues but I’m aware that’s common. I daydream about what if I just…or what if I don’t…and just middle finger to the universe.
@@sugarcakezz if it would help read a book by Pete Walker complex ptsd. It explains lots of childhood trauma, and the way to deal with them. I would also recommend therapist, even cheaper ones to get better understanding of all the tools you have to combat cptsd.
I don't do dissociation but I notice that some of my friends do it. They don't remember whether their childhood was sad or happy let alone discuss it in details -- they just seem to forget. I won't say my memory is perfect, but I remember most everything, the nostalgia, the happy celebration memories, the time I was taught to swim on my back in murky water, etc., and including the most traumatic events like witnessing abuse, neighborhood fights, the summer without electricity and running water, horrible words that my mother said and even my own near death experiences. To me, it's just the past. I remember, but i don't dwell.
Intellectualization is something I do so much. It feels natural though, since I don’t really understand what it means to “feel and sit with your emotions”
Agreed! All the videos I’ve seen about spending weekends and sitting with yourself and just thinking and allowing the pain and crying to come up just feels like stuff I do intermittently anyway. So then I wonder what I’d be more crazy if I didn’t do that lol. Like to feel and sit with your emotions, it makes me think that I need to be thinking about depressing things in order to buy that so I totally understand what you mean Jose
@@booksale5 Avoid watching negative shows. Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 This is such great advice! I had been struggling really bad with being negative about myself and I also struggle with anxiety and taking time to breath helps me soo much!
@@lupinka097 Do the simple breath observing practice I msgd you which I have been doing for many years and feeling relaxed. I have made it a habit to observe my breath even when walking alone, reading, watching tv and before sleep lying down because the mind needs to be reprogrammed to remove negative thoughts. Read more about positive effects of breathing on the brain on google. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir-Counsellor. Be motivated.
I cried when I watched your video about hair pulling and skin picking. 18 years I've been dealing with that OCD. It's tiring. And just hearing you say my issues out loud... idk. It made me feel the shame. But also helped me feel less alone.
I have CPTSD, along with a few other diagnosis, and until this video I never realized that I can't think of those milestones in my childhood either. I know from events of sudden remembrance and counseling that I've blocked out traumas, but until now I never realized I've blurred out my whole childhood. I remember it as a whole, but not the pieces of moments that make that whole. Thanks for this video! ❤
Recently whilst journaling and writing my memoire I have been digging out photographs from my childhood. Sometimes I can’t remember what was going on in these childhood pictures and sometimes I can. I have chosen to see a therapist for now as I want to work on resentments which are being triggered as my memory sharpens and sometimes not. I am trying to make my therapist appreciate that I prefer more of a compassionate approach rather than psychoanalysis. This is because I’ve done a lot of reflection and introspection to manage low mood recently.
That is wise of you to seek therapy, try to find a social worker/psychologist/psychiatrist in a women's shelter, they tend to be more educated to give women of color emotional support.
@@pneuma6202 yes absolutely. Honestly good and well for people and their beliefs on certain things. But you are right. It might definitely mean finding one that is compassionate. Personally being a woman of colour. I had a therapist who was a woman of colour but I had my guard up for a while before opening up to her because I just thought she will judge me due to certain things that I went through in life...in the beginning I saw her as a reminder of a certain individual.
The weird thing is that for most of my life I was unable to put the horrible memories somewhere I wouldn't find them. In spite of having had to deal with violent and traumatic experiences from a very early age, I always remembered too many things in an uncanny detailed fashion. I was always known in my family for my unusually good memorization capabilities, adults would even tell me things they were scared of forgetting when I was as young as 4 years old... (my earliest detailed memories go back to when I was just 2 years old) It's only over the past 4 years that I've apparently started to blur memories of recent trauma... It's like after 40 something years my mind is finally saying STOP! The impression that I suddenly can't feel what I'm supposed to be feeling is recent too. Thank you for shedding light on issues like these. Your opinion on Better Help already helped me when I was seeking help for my 14 year old who had requested it. You're truly awesome!
I am certainly one of those people can't remember most of my childhood. I wouldn't say dissociation is NEVER useful. I mean it's your brain trying to protect you. It's not ideal but sometimes necessary. But that is just my opinion based on my own lived experience.
Yes! If it protects you from remembering very traumatic situations which would re-traumatize you. And what matters is; how are you doing in your present life? Are you feeling all the feelings possible? Are you living in the present? Then there is no real problem there. I have friend who does not remember her childhood before 12 years old age. She was severely sexually abused. Who would like to remember that in detail??? Nope. She is having a very good life without those memories. It would take a major part of her lifetime to process those memories. And of course something creeps in and needs to be healed in here and there, but the her mind is clearly protecting her for a reason.
I wish my mind could not remember all sad events of childhood ,instead They are vivid memories that are very sad till adulthood and elderly age ,thanks
@@SatumainenOlento You make some good points. A few years back, for some reason, my memory was jogged and being sexually abused as a child came back to me. I don't remember the details, by who, and other things, but I suddenly remembered those blurry moments. It makes you question if your memories are even real or not. It made/makes me question if I'm going crazy. That said though, I've always felt out of place as a person, and that there was something lingering within me. Remembering those forgotten moments, while painful, has also made it possible for me to be able to face those traumas and work on working through them. Always carrying in silence an unknown feeling of internal dread I had before I remembered some of my buried abuse and traumas, was a horrible and confusing burden to carry, especially since I could never pinpoint WHY I felt that way. It's also helped me identify some of my behaviors and explain the hows and whys of them.
@@SatumainenOlento why is that always so necessary? I know it's popular, but why else is it a value? i feel its only useful if your present is not very very uncomfortable.
You had me at “disassociation!” I don’t remember most of my childhood or up to the age of 40. People I grew up with tell me about childhood experiences and the people we grew up with. My Mother and Father split up when I was 5 and I always wondered why I couldn’t remember my Mother in our home before she took me and my sister and left. I remember my Father taking me to my 1st day of kindergarten and taking me to get my shots but I can’t remember my Mother during the first 5 years. I remember my siblings and my Father at home doing family stuff but not my Mother. The first memory I have of her is the day she took us and left. I’ve tried to picture her home with us but can’t and I know she was there because my sisters and brothers talk about her being there. Thank you Dr. Marks for this eye opening video. I’ve learned so much from your talks. GOD Bless
You know.... I used to deal with anxiety a lot when I was little. I didn't know what this feeling was and I barely realized it was anxiety. I don't really feel that way anymore but this video is pretty helpful in realizing what I was dealing with
Thank you, Dr. Marks! Hearing the complete list of child-like ways to manage your primitive defense mechanisms was very fascinating. When I was a school teacher, I saw many of these signs from my students. Sadly, over the years, I even had children who were in and out of troubled foster homes who were already showing signs of "dissociation" from their upbringings. This was evident even at 13-14 years old as junior high school students. We did everything we could as a school to help and try to support their healing. They were such amazing kids and it shows the challenges that many teaches face in addition to the normal work load day-after-day!
Ah, yes, dissociation. When people tell you that you were a really "spaced-out" kid. I remember once walking down the hall in our school and I 'came-to' at the end. I had no memory at all of walking through it.
Thank you Dr Tracey. I do identify with dissociation and intellectualisation. I used to say that I have selective memory but I understand it better now that you have explained it. There was a lot of dysfunction in my childhood, including emotional abuse. Anyway, thank you for sharing these videos, they are life savers..
I'm definitely one of those who's childhood is extremely foggy. I know certain things happened repeatedly (like school) but I have no real memories of specific days (except the traumatic ones.)
Thank you Dr. your videos are so very very helpful. This one in particular has explained some things I’ve noticed about myself. I intellectualized when my grandparents passed. Especially my grandmothers passing because I had to help plan her funeral. I made so many decisions I wasn’t expecting to make. It hurt me deeply but I feel like I skipped right over a major part of the grief process. This all happened 13 yrs ago. Sad.
Hey, this channel is amazing.I love your work. Have you ever made a video about depersonalization? I've suffer from sever anxiety for many years(for many reasons), and one of the worst things about this illness, aside from panick attacks, is that sometimes you feel like off. Like you are seeing everything as an spectator rather than being and feeling like yourself. It is hard to explain but sure you know what Im talking about. It's a horrible feeling. I beg of you, please make a video about this and how to deal with it. It would also great if one day you could make an extended an special video dedicated to sever anxiety disorder and all the different symptoms people may present. In my case is even worse, since I also have OCD characteristics in my personality. Please, again I beg of you. You seem to be a good psychiatrist, and I would love to hear what you have to say.
As someone who was diagnosed with a borderline disorder I am so in need of these videos to help me cope and stay away from situations that can trigger negative feelings. Thank you so much Dr. Marks.
I definitely do this. When I realize that I have no power/authority to change something that's going on, I decide to just not care about it/distance myself. Is this unhealthy?
I just wrote a comment about this. Honestly, I would say that it isn't. Maybe a therapist would say it is. But, it's saved me from a loot of stress. I have very, good, memory, vivid memory, so everything I experience stays with me for a very, very long time. If it's unpleasant it will be with me for a very long time, and it will be vivid, not just a passing thought. It's not a tool I would advise to use, dissociating, but I'm glad I have it.
Another excellent lesson ! Thank you Dr Marks . I never fail to learn : about the topic , myself and all of us . Have you done a lesson on Repetition Compulsion ? I don't know why , but I think there must be a treasure trove there !
That was an excellent video Dr. Marks. Your detailed explanation of these defense mechanisms has given me a new insight on how I cope with my own anxiety so thank you. 😊
Your channel is helping me view psychiatrists differently. I’ve had really bad experiences with them in the past. Many of mine have thrown pills at symptoms without really trying to understand where they come from or if I *truly* needed it. While I know they aren’t therapists, I’ve always seen therapists alongside a psychiatrist, so I wish they’d have been in contact with my therapist so I could work on certain things in therapy BEFORE trying another pill. I used to be on five pills for all these different things and now that I’ve had decent therapy, I’m on one medication. Just one. It felt like my psychiatrists didn’t see the behavioral aspects of the things I needed help with. And I never felt listened to when I said “eh, this particular thing doesn’t feel bad enough to need medication yet.” It was always “you’re slightly more anxious? Here have ANOTHER anxiety medication!” Your channel is refreshing. I’m still sticking with my GP for my Prozac though 😂 I went to her and said, “I’m in therapy but my anxiety level is way too high for me to effectively put what I’m learning into practice.” She ASKED what I was comfortable with, what my goals were, and went from there. I NEVER got that from my psychiatrists. Anyways… your channel is refreshing. And your patients are lucky to have a doctor who sees them as a whole person. ❤️ Thank you for your videos!!!!
Thanks a lot Stark Terror. A lot of psychiatrists get away from doing therapy because the larger practices expect them to stick to medication management. With a 10-15 minute med check, there's not much time to talk about anything except what medication change to make.
I always wondered. Now I know. I remember very little up to the age of 10. This information makes me feel less like an outer space creature, more an average human being. Thank you, Dr. Marks.
Idk if you’ve made a video on dissociation and how to treat it yet, but this would be helpful!! I’ve been doing it all my life, that I even thought I had adhd at one point
I just love the way she puts things, just great! l think if l had a person like her in my life ,l would be a better person, but I will take what l can get, thank you Dr.🤓
Adams, Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Thank you for this! A lot of this seems to also describe what I thought to be narcissism. I would really love if you could discuss traits that might belong to several different disorders , and specifically how we can better communicate with people who seem unable to confront some of those behaviours. I find it especially challenging with ADHD and ASD characteristics, as I often struggle not to react to things that seem irrational or contradictory to me. Thanks again!
First, as always when I watch your videos, my upmost gratitude for the knowledge you share. Second, your videos are always on point and delivered in a way that’s easy for the viewer to digest so to speak. My jaw dropped when you spoke about disassociation as in school I had learned about these defense mechanisms but never really got good examples, until the examples you used and The elaboration on them,. Often I’ve apologize to my therapist because I know our work is largely predicated on connecting that which has happened in my past to how it’s evolved into who I am today. And I’m always saying that I don’t have much memory of childhood and it seems so weird and I don’t know why I only recollect the bad parts and not even those very well and she always reassures me that it’s OK that I don’t remember and that she would be surprised if I actually did have a better memory of my childhood and to see that you also reflect exactly what she’s told me I’m on your own patient population it’s just really good to hear. Thank you for sharing these experiences you’ve had in your practice with patience with us. Because it adds a bit of self acceptance that our experiences have origins and shared by many. You’re the best Dr. Marks! Wishing Much love, happiness, joy, & all other good things in life fulfill your life abundantly ♥️
It's interesting that you mentioned displacement because when I got angry at my ex I tried not to get into a yelling match with them but started cleaning instead. I found that to be a more constructive use of anger.
Hello doctor Marks, I love your videos ❤️ they are so on point. I wondered if you could do a video on addictions. Is it true that some people's brains are prone to become addicted? I used to smoke, but I was able to stop just like that. My boyfriend on the other hand stopped too, but can't stop thinking about cigarettes even after a year. Why did he got addicted and I didn't? How do addictions work and how do you treat them?
@@tinamoore2979 A person who is struggling with an addiction has to have the desire to stop their habit for their own well-being. Otherwise, they will relapse or fail and give up.
Hello doctor. I love this channel. Please do a video on imposter syndrome. I am a millennial and I am finally entering into my career. I am one of the youngest employees at my job and I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and incompetence even though I meet the qualifications for the job. Extreme anxiety accompanies me on a daily basis and I feel releived when I get in the car to go home. I often dissociate at work and zone out. This is my dream job! But I still feel like im not supposed to be here. Could trauma be a contributor to my feelings? Thank you.
Intellectualization is my main defense mechanism.. i just sit there and it becomes hyperreflection until i'm completely drained.. That combined with dissoziation and excessive gaming.. and i'll forget heavily what happened the last couple hours. Tunnelvision becomes more frequently and then i'm constantly overloaded and have to sort things on the table to help out my overloaded memory. That's kinda useful, but actually really bad for making the right choices or even to prepare something for the next days. Dunno if someone else had actually been there. I'm glad that i'm not this mode rn. I feel relaxed and not in danger.
Dr Marks, can you please do a video on the differences between a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, and mental health counselor? How do we determine which one is right for our mental health needs? This may be a silly question, but I tend to use these interchangeably. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge 💛
Sorry for the long answer. I'll try to answer your questions, but keep in mind that there may be some differences across different geographic areas. A psychologist is a graduate in psychology, so they have some knowledge of various psychological fields, and can work in human resources, job interviews, policy making, and all those jobs were it's necessary to estimate what people may think or how they might act. A psychiatrist, on the other hand, is a doctor who has specialized in mental health, just like a cardiologist has specialized on the heart. A psychotherapist is either a psychologist or a psychiatrist who attended extra courses and training in order to do psychotherapy. Without this extra specialization neither of the two can. In addition, because the psychiatrist is a doctor they can prescribe medications, something which a psychologist cannot do. (And a psychiatrist can prescribe medications even if they're not a psychotherapist). Lastly, a counselor usually hasn't majored neither in psychology nor in psychiatry, and is not a licenced psychotherapist. They're range of action is more limited, and they can help you deal with ordinary life challenges or big changes, teach coping mechanisms and help with some problem solving. But they cannot work as psychotherapist, so dealing with mental health disorders/illnesses in depth is out of their range. If you have or think you have mental health disorders then a psychotherapist is what you would be looking for, otherwise if you need some help with your life (no mental health issues) a counselor may do the job. Then, if you need a therapist (short for psychotherapist) which is the best? Psychiatrist or psychologist? That very much depends on several things (theoretical framework, personal experience, country, etc.). If you're wondering whether you could benefit from meds, have check with a psychiatrist. You may want a psychiatrist who's also your psychotherapist, or you may want a psychologist who's your psychotherapist and if needed a psychiatrist who follows the medication side. Generally speaking, a psychologist has more psychological knowledge, while a psychiatrist has more body knowledge. This distinction is not always this true, as some psychologist may learn more about neurology and bodily function and health, and a psychiatrist may choose to expand their knowledge of psychology. Hope this helps a bit :)
Thank you sooo much Dr. Marks. I've explained almost verbatim what you said about dissociation, but was told by family I was making it up, wrong etc etc. My family is very unhealthy and think all of these coping behaviors are acceptable, even ideal- i.e. not their problem if it's hurting children and everyone in general.
You are absolutely the bomb! Dr Marks, you are like the college professor that I wish that I had while obtaining my Psychology degree! Keep up the wonderful work…
Studies show that The frontal cortex the conscious mind runs at 3 to 4 data bits per second and the subconscious runs at 2 million data bits per second no wonder why the subconscious is so powerful. To test this just wiggle your left or right toe notice the sock around it the shoe the air the floor. Your subconscious is aware of everybody part at every moment ever every day throughout your life this is where the two million database per second is going. Have you ever been in a rush and then accidentally cut yourself and find the cut only because you're bleeding. Then you understand that your frontal cortex being in a rush has three data bits per second filled up with thoughts of that Rush. The mind is a wondrous thing thankfully studies and brain scans are bringing it more to our conscious mind. Tracy thanks so much for making these videos :-)
The way I deal with it is by being compassionate as possible, towards myself. 'Intellectualization' has very strong links to criticism, it's kind of the other side of the coin. I feel like, when I intellectualize, I become more judgemental of others. I can't, see,' them, all I see is what they 'should' be, in my intellectualised world. It's like trying to make sense of something rather than just accepting it.
@@ebbyc1817 our ape Brain Craves answers and Understanding the more we understand something the better we can Develop strategy to Deal with it we want to tease out all the secrets of the Universe but Ultimately maybe our Brains are simply unable to comprehend all of it
Hi Dr. Tracy! I just studied this in school...wow. I am going for my BS in Behavioral Health Science...I love it! Thank you for your knowledge of the mental life. God bless you!
I was more mature as a child then an adult, I developed paranoid schizophrenia and it caused a regression to more primative defenses. 1. To "feel not equipped to express" can emerge out of frustrutation to express what is out of other peoples experience (plus the whole "life and the world laughs with..." thing) or bounded up too tight with "double binds". 2. This I wish I could do. Such buffers would help the distress from contradictions. 4. I do have a lot of this, big chucks of my experience of dealing socially while in a extreme paranoid state. It is horrible. I displace often by house cleaning, though I have broke some dishes 😕 Intellectualism is a daly routine, to a degree.
You know, I see memes about disassociation and I relate to them, but I suppose I didn't actually have a good understanding of what it's really like. My jaw was on the floor by the time you were done explaining it; I've unfortunately never related to anything more😅 thank you so much for all the work you do making these videos. I've learned a lot about myself as a person and appreciate you💕
😲 I wish I could talk to you for hours 😅 like can I just unload my life onto you.... This short video explained little things I've questioned about myself for years. Hope one day I can find a great therapist 🤞🏽
very helpful information on how our primative "lizard brain" takes over with anxiety. I've also heard it as our inner child taking over. BTW, it looks like you are wearing a Volendam hat (traditional 18th century Dutch hat) in the thumbnail haha
Your very intelligent in your messages , it all makes sense to me , although your messages are very high level you break it down very well with your communication
I remember how strange it seemed to me to meet people who could name all the teachers they had in school or who remembered birthdays, family vacations, and things like that. Easily 90% of my childhood is missing, a fog punctuated by the occasional strong image, either calm and relaxed or extremely negative. I was in my 40s when I realized that this was unusual. I still wonder how much of an influence this has on my adult life, and I honestly don't know.
I tend to subconsciously use denial as a defense against very intense negative emotions which sucks because I'll genuinly have myself convinced that I'm doing fine only to realize later that I wasn't and that I would have felt better sooner if I let myself feel it. Getting better at recognizing it though.
I do compartmentalize (for work) and intellectualize a lot. I don't easily grieve my relatives' deaths, thinking that it's part of life (but I'd feel pretty sad if my favorite musicians passed away and would grieve a bit, though we're practically strangers) and I try not to feel guilty about my work that pays the bills and buys me food (like writing movie spoilers for blogs). I just hope what I'm doing helps rather than hurt the creative industries like film, because spoilers get people excited about watching films too and some if not many of them seek the films out. I don't dissociate (if I do, it's rare and for something insignificant) but I have friends that might do it to avoid feeling traumatized (they rarely discuss their childhood and even some of the time we spent at school or together as adolescents -- my memory is usually vivid; theirs sounds vague like they don't remember at all). I don't really act out but I notice that I seem to have a midlife crisis just before hitting a certain milestone, like abandoning a career path, dropping out of postgrad, without regard to the consequences for another -- but I do it because I don't feel happy, so why get stuck with it forever?
My BIGGEST problem when somebody gets me into my fighting mood is I go out and kick my old truck for minutes on end resulting in a good leg workout and anti-stress although my Ford is definitely not enjoying the therapy sessions
If you don't have one (and I'm guessing you probably do) INSTALL a towing rig. Then talk to a welder/fabricator about a vertical frame you could install to the towing rig from which you could hang a bag... be it peanut-bag, reaction-bag, or a heavy bag... Yeah, it's a bit of a cost, but once you've got the frame, just about any towing rig will hold it... AND you've GOT the frame. A single bag can be pricey, too... BUT like the frame, once you've got it, you've got it... AND I highly doubt you'll ever get enough leg or weight in a bag to knock your truck over. I built one for a buddy of mine to avoid hitting his company truck, because he had a frustrating position (dull underlings, impatient boss) and was like you... didn't mind kicking the crap out of a fender or whatever on his own... I know you probably don't mind a ding or two once in a while, and a Ford usually isn't soggy enough to suffer too badly, but a little cost now to have the basics, and you can afford a nice newer machine SO much easier down the figurative road... AND who can't use a tow-rig? Hell... Dude even uses the frame occasionally in his yard as a hoist-point for small-duty jobs, like tractor engines or helping lift equipment at one end as much as drag it over the ground... He just needed me to run the welder. ;o)
@@davemustaine8700 You are ALWAYS wery welcome... I hope you pull it together without too much hell to play. It'll save your truck a bit, and you might even start coaching kids for stuff like boxing instead of fighting in school and the like... or even just help a few co-workers "let off a little steam" once in a while. EVERYbody knows "There's more than one way to skin a cat." Not so much "There's more than one cat to skin that way." ;o)
@@davemustaine8700 Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Dr Marks, how long can a depressive episode last? Online the average says around 6-8 months, but I feel like I have been in one for 2 years. Will it ever end? I've tried 9 different psychiatric medications with little success. Thank you for your content and work around mental health education.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge! This was the video I didn’t know I needed. I really enjoyed how you presented these thoughts. I’m going to subscribe!☺️
Examples, fear, immoral, irrational, sexual desires which are unacceptable, Primitive Defences: 1) Acting out, 2) Compartmentalization, rationalization. 3) denial, of say, addiction or that you - sometimes Ok.. 4) dissociation…change channels to hide stuff, numb yourself, not in the moment 5) reaction formation , making an opposition Mature Defences: Don’t rely on primitive… 1) displacement redirect indirect undesirable stuff…kick your dog when boss gives you grief , 2) intellectualization…avoid feelings by thinking about mental rational stuff…to avoid ‘feeling’ or experiencing it or accepting it.
I dissociated from most of my childhood. I find it hard to recall more than 5-10 significant memories from my first 10-12 yrs! I recall hallucinations in my preschool years. My defense was intellectualization, honed in HS and even further in college! Then came the collapse in my mid-late 20s. I have been rebuilding ever since. But the core seems unreachable. I have recently learned though, to think of my heart as healed, and my mind as the gateway through which harmful/pain inducing thoughts arise and get deposited in my heart causing adverse reactions, or through which loving, positive, edifying/uplifting thoughts can be cultivated or curated to plant in my heart continuously, thus producing a more joyful life.
Dr. Tracey Marks, it's good to see you (first saw you on PFA site-good interview), love the way you present info-that is a gift that you have. I really like this video. You're a beautiful and smart woman. Congratulations on your success. Thanks for the advice.
Due to dissociation I have memory loss and brain fog. I've suffered allot of trauma from childhood to adulthood. I can't control what memories my mind chooses to protect me from. Sometime's good memories get locked away as well..
“don’t let that hurt little kid make your adult decisions for you”
our reigning queen kylie
This. Well put.
@@israelvargas800 YESS SOMEONE KNEW
The hardest of all.
I went on your page. Thanks now I love Liza Koshy lol And great quote !
1. Acting out
2. Compartmentalization
3. Denial
4. Dissociation
5. Reaction formation
More mature methods
1. Displacement
2. Intellectualization
Thanks for the organization 🙌🙌🙌
I was looking for a comment like this one. Thank you 😊😊😊
Thanks ! Do you by chance know of any other resources on these topics? Those lists. Cheers 🙏🏽
@@ZenGuitarShred Just watch her videos
Why?
"Numb, checked out, not in the moment." Spent my life there due to childhood PTSD. When I finally looked inward to try and understand my dysfunctions...the resulting revelations caused a tsunami of sorrow that was there waiting all the time for release. Now, learning to live in the present - in the moment - is making a world of difference; and the improvements are very gratifying to me.
Does anyone else love how she teaches and her outlook on mental health is? Well I know you do because I do too!☺️
ahahah nice kaneki ken)))))))))))
1000-7 mazafaka
I’d love a deeper dive into dissociation, how to snap out of it and recover currently as well as coping with a dissociated childhood. Definitely my biggest defense, I’ve lived the majority of my life in such a miserable state.
Look into grounding techniques. A common one is 5 4 3 2 1 identify five things you see in your environment and say it out loud then 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Another one is progressive relaxation. start with your toes tense them up and relax and do so with all the muscled up to your head. Not every one works for everyone but there are a lot.
Yeah, I'd recommend therapy, CBT or DBT. It helps you recognize the cause of disassociation and helps you ground yourself.
I'm in agreement with you, I need to work on this as well
I appreciate you mentioning dissociative disorder!
@@versexscape7540 Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Wow, you just described me with the dissociation. I don't recall much of my childhood. I've had friends who've had to fill me in on things from childhood that I just do not remember.
My siblings do that to me. For them, it's like poured concrete. For me, it's hazy vagueness.
"Remember when Dad road raged because he didn't want to visit his mother on Easter, and we coward in the back sit?"
No, but thanks for another fawked up memory. Lol
Yeah it’s disturbing. But feels nice remembering new things on there than the routine of memories my brain circulates at night. It’s like opening a birthday present discovering a new memory.
But I had anxiety as a kid from my nightmare disorder and sleep paralysis because my body trained itself that it’s a negative thing to sleep. I used to try and knock myself out just to be able to press pause. Death was peace to me. I became edgy. I became obsessive. But I know I had a healthy childhood. My mom has some guilt for loosing her temper or introducing concepts too early but that wasn’t the depth of my disturbance. It was the creatures at night. It was the electric buzzing up my spine three times a night I called “fear vibrations”. School was near impossible and I was out of it so much ppl thought I was a stoner at an age where I really wouldn’t be.
These days I have a problem with accepting consequences. Like I still have sleep issues but I’m aware that’s common. I daydream about what if I just…or what if I don’t…and just middle finger to the universe.
@@sugarcakezz That's interesting. Have you sought some sort of help for that? Maybe you could try hypnosis or something.
@@sugarcakezz if it would help read a book by Pete Walker complex ptsd. It explains lots of childhood trauma, and the way to deal with them. I would also recommend therapist, even cheaper ones to get better understanding of all the tools you have to combat cptsd.
I don't do dissociation but I notice that some of my friends do it. They don't remember whether their childhood was sad or happy let alone discuss it in details -- they just seem to forget. I won't say my memory is perfect, but I remember most everything, the nostalgia, the happy celebration memories, the time I was taught to swim on my back in murky water, etc., and including the most traumatic events like witnessing abuse, neighborhood fights, the summer without electricity and running water, horrible words that my mother said and even my own near death experiences. To me, it's just the past. I remember, but i don't dwell.
Intellectualization is something I do so much. It feels natural though, since I don’t really understand what it means to “feel and sit with your emotions”
Agreed! All the videos I’ve seen about spending weekends and sitting with yourself and just thinking and allowing the pain and crying to come up just feels like stuff I do intermittently anyway. So then I wonder what I’d be more crazy if I didn’t do that lol. Like to feel and sit with your emotions, it makes me think that I need to be thinking about depressing things in order to buy that so I totally understand what you mean Jose
@@booksale5 Avoid watching negative shows. Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 This is such great advice! I had been struggling really bad with being negative about myself and I also struggle with anxiety and taking time to breath helps me soo much!
@@lupinka097 Do the simple breath observing practice I msgd you which I have been doing for many years and feeling relaxed. I have made it a habit to observe my breath even when walking alone, reading, watching tv and before sleep lying down because the mind needs to be reprogrammed to remove negative thoughts. Read more about positive effects of breathing on the brain on google. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir-Counsellor. Be motivated.
@@shyaaammeneen63 that sounds wonderful! Thank you 😊
I definitely use “intellectualization” - I try to go straight to a solution because the feelings are crippling
Yeah 😞
Me too
How do you not get feelings, though?
I cried when I watched your video about hair pulling and skin picking. 18 years I've been dealing with that OCD. It's tiring. And just hearing you say my issues out loud... idk. It made me feel the shame. But also helped me feel less alone.
I have CPTSD, along with a few other diagnosis, and until this video I never realized that I can't think of those milestones in my childhood either. I know from events of sudden remembrance and counseling that I've blocked out traumas, but until now I never realized I've blurred out my whole childhood. I remember it as a whole, but not the pieces of moments that make that whole. Thanks for this video! ❤
Your contribution in this space is invaluable ❤️
Recently whilst journaling and writing my memoire I have been digging out photographs from my childhood. Sometimes I can’t remember what was going on in these childhood pictures and sometimes I can. I have chosen to see a therapist for now as I want to work on resentments which are being triggered as my memory sharpens and sometimes not. I am trying to make my therapist appreciate that I prefer more of a compassionate approach rather than psychoanalysis. This is because I’ve done a lot of reflection and introspection to manage low mood recently.
That is wise of you to seek therapy, try to find a social worker/psychologist/psychiatrist in a women's shelter, they tend to be more educated to give women of color emotional support.
You may need to find a therapist of color.
Best of luck on your memoir! Keep it up 💪 but yeah I have similar thing with not remembering old photos
@@pneuma6202 yes absolutely. Honestly good and well for people and their beliefs on certain things. But you are right. It might definitely mean finding one that is compassionate. Personally being a woman of colour. I had a therapist who was a woman of colour but I had my guard up for a while before opening up to her because I just thought she will judge me due to certain things that I went through in life...in the beginning I saw her as a reminder of a certain individual.
@@pneuma6202 Just my opinion, although I agree with your thoughts (to a point) as well).
This video was helpful for me and my anxiety. I am 46yrs old and still suffer from childhood trauma. Thanks for the content
The weird thing is that for most of my life I was unable to put the horrible memories somewhere I wouldn't find them. In spite of having had to deal with violent and traumatic experiences from a very early age, I always remembered too many things in an uncanny detailed fashion. I was always known in my family for my unusually good memorization capabilities, adults would even tell me things they were scared of forgetting when I was as young as 4 years old... (my earliest detailed memories go back to when I was just 2 years old) It's only over the past 4 years that I've apparently started to blur memories of recent trauma... It's like after 40 something years my mind is finally saying STOP! The impression that I suddenly can't feel what I'm supposed to be feeling is recent too. Thank you for shedding light on issues like these. Your opinion on Better Help already helped me when I was seeking help for my 14 year old who had requested it. You're truly awesome!
I am certainly one of those people can't remember most of my childhood. I wouldn't say dissociation is NEVER useful. I mean it's your brain trying to protect you. It's not ideal but sometimes necessary. But that is just my opinion based on my own lived experience.
Yes! If it protects you from remembering very traumatic situations which would re-traumatize you. And what matters is; how are you doing in your present life? Are you feeling all the feelings possible? Are you living in the present? Then there is no real problem there.
I have friend who does not remember her childhood before 12 years old age. She was severely sexually abused. Who would like to remember that in detail??? Nope. She is having a very good life without those memories. It would take a major part of her lifetime to process those memories. And of course something creeps in and needs to be healed in here and there, but the her mind is clearly protecting her for a reason.
I wish my mind could not remember all sad events of childhood ,instead
They are vivid memories that are very sad till adulthood and elderly age ,thanks
@@SatumainenOlento You make some good points. A few years back, for some reason, my memory was jogged and being sexually abused as a child came back to me. I don't remember the details, by who, and other things, but I suddenly remembered those blurry moments. It makes you question if your memories are even real or not. It made/makes me question if I'm going crazy.
That said though, I've always felt out of place as a person, and that there was something lingering within me. Remembering those forgotten moments, while painful, has also made it possible for me to be able to face those traumas and work on working through them. Always carrying in silence an unknown feeling of internal dread I had before I remembered some of my buried abuse and traumas, was a horrible and confusing burden to carry, especially since I could never pinpoint WHY I felt that way. It's also helped me identify some of my behaviors and explain the hows and whys of them.
@@SatumainenOlento why is that always so necessary? I know it's popular, but why else is it a value? i feel its only useful if your present is not very very uncomfortable.
@@SatumainenOlento ty
You had me at “disassociation!” I don’t remember most of my childhood or up to the age of 40. People I grew up with tell me about childhood experiences and the people we grew up with. My Mother and Father split up when I was 5 and I always wondered why I couldn’t remember my Mother in our home before she took me and my sister and left. I remember my Father taking me to my 1st day of kindergarten and taking me to get my shots but I can’t remember my Mother during the first 5 years. I remember my siblings and my Father at home doing family stuff but not my Mother. The first memory I have of her is the day she took us and left.
I’ve tried to picture her home with us but can’t and I know she was there because my sisters and brothers talk about her being there. Thank you Dr. Marks for this eye opening video. I’ve learned so much from your talks. GOD Bless
You know.... I used to deal with anxiety a lot when I was little. I didn't know what this feeling was and I barely realized it was anxiety. I don't really feel that way anymore but this video is pretty helpful in realizing what I was dealing with
Thank you, Dr. Marks! Hearing the complete list of child-like ways to manage your primitive defense mechanisms was very fascinating. When I was a school teacher, I saw many of these signs from my students. Sadly, over the years, I even had children who were in and out of troubled foster homes who were already showing signs of "dissociation" from their upbringings. This was evident even at 13-14 years old as junior high school students. We did everything we could as a school to help and try to support their healing. They were such amazing kids and it shows the challenges that many teaches face in addition to the normal work load day-after-day!
Thank you for your caring service❤
Always good to start off the day with Dr Marks!
You are great as always Dr Marks. It’s good hard but good to sit through unpleasant emotions but it’s the right way
Once again, I wish you were my therapist. Thanks again. Love your non-judgmental tone of voice, and it has a calming its gonna be ok affect.
Dont grasp all you present, but I always learn something, and we listen to you regularly. I'll have to watch these again.
Ah, yes, dissociation. When people tell you that you were a really "spaced-out" kid. I remember once walking down the hall in our school and I 'came-to' at the end. I had no memory at all of walking through it.
Thank you Dr Tracey. I do identify with dissociation and intellectualisation. I used to say that I have selective memory but I understand it better now that you have explained it. There was a lot of dysfunction in my childhood, including emotional abuse. Anyway, thank you for sharing these videos, they are life savers..
I'm definitely one of those who's childhood is extremely foggy. I know certain things happened repeatedly (like school) but I have no real memories of specific days (except the traumatic ones.)
What can we do to treat the problem of intellectualization?
Thank you for this video, doctor!
Thank you Dr. your videos are so very very helpful. This one in particular has explained some things I’ve noticed about myself. I intellectualized when my grandparents passed. Especially my grandmothers passing because I had to help plan her funeral. I made so many decisions I wasn’t expecting to make. It hurt me deeply but I feel like I skipped right over a major part of the grief process. This all happened 13 yrs ago. Sad.
Hey, this channel is amazing.I love your work. Have you ever made a video about depersonalization? I've suffer from sever anxiety for many years(for many reasons), and one of the worst things about this illness, aside from panick attacks, is that sometimes you feel like off. Like you are seeing everything as an spectator rather than being and feeling like yourself. It is hard to explain but sure you know what Im talking about. It's a horrible feeling. I beg of you, please make a video about this and how to deal with it. It would also great if one day you could make an extended an special video dedicated to sever anxiety disorder and all the different symptoms people may present. In my case is even worse, since I also have OCD characteristics in my personality. Please, again I beg of you. You seem to be a good psychiatrist, and I would love to hear what you have to say.
As someone who was diagnosed with a borderline disorder I am so in need of these videos to help me cope and stay away from situations that can trigger negative feelings. Thank you so much Dr. Marks.
First time subscriber.
I definitely do this. When I realize that I have no power/authority to change something that's going on, I decide to just not care about it/distance myself. Is this unhealthy?
I just wrote a comment about this. Honestly, I would say that it isn't. Maybe a therapist would say it is. But, it's saved me from a loot of stress. I have very, good, memory, vivid memory, so everything I experience stays with me for a very, very long time. If it's unpleasant it will be with me for a very long time, and it will be vivid, not just a passing thought. It's not a tool I would advise to use, dissociating, but I'm glad I have it.
Thank you Dr. Marks for this great video.
I wish that someone would do something on multiple personality issues.
I think that sometimes compartmentalization and intellectualization is the best we can do in difficult situations
Well that's explains why I have those memory gaps about my childhood
I look at the gaps as a blessing. Do I really want to remember verbatim what maladjusted maniacs my parents were on a good day?
No. It was just a long ass time ago, dummy.
@@coldblooded568 Dummy? Are you 5 or are the edibles kicking in? LMAO
@@lilbatz both 😴
@@lilbatz you know I ain't mean it! Iiiiiiiii sorry!
Thanks again Dr. Marks. Awareness surely is the key.
Yes it is!
this was good, i am struggling right now as i lost my grandfather last night to covid
So sorry to hear that
I'm very sorry to hear that and I'm so sorry for all the jerks not getting shots and wearing masks. I hope you are vaccinated.
My condolences to you and your family.
Sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss hope you have a good recovery’s losing someone is always something hard to deal with
First thing that came to mind when I read the title was: "shopping" 🤣🤣🤣
WOW Took me a third of my life to find this channel. This is Awesome. Thank you a lot for sharing this information.
Another excellent lesson ! Thank you Dr Marks . I never fail to learn : about the topic , myself and all of us . Have you done a lesson on Repetition Compulsion ? I don't know why , but I think there must be a treasure trove there !
That was an excellent video Dr. Marks. Your detailed explanation of these defense mechanisms has given me a new insight on how I cope with my own anxiety so thank you. 😊
I feel hopeful that these videos will help me towards self-improvement. You are really smart. Thanks so much for your insights.
Your channel is helping me view psychiatrists differently. I’ve had really bad experiences with them in the past. Many of mine have thrown pills at symptoms without really trying to understand where they come from or if I *truly* needed it. While I know they aren’t therapists, I’ve always seen therapists alongside a psychiatrist, so I wish they’d have been in contact with my therapist so I could work on certain things in therapy BEFORE trying another pill. I used to be on five pills for all these different things and now that I’ve had decent therapy, I’m on one medication. Just one.
It felt like my psychiatrists didn’t see the behavioral aspects of the things I needed help with. And I never felt listened to when I said “eh, this particular thing doesn’t feel bad enough to need medication yet.” It was always “you’re slightly more anxious? Here have ANOTHER anxiety medication!”
Your channel is refreshing.
I’m still sticking with my GP for my Prozac though 😂 I went to her and said, “I’m in therapy but my anxiety level is way too high for me to effectively put what I’m learning into practice.” She ASKED what I was comfortable with, what my goals were, and went from there. I NEVER got that from my psychiatrists.
Anyways… your channel is refreshing. And your patients are lucky to have a doctor who sees them as a whole person. ❤️ Thank you for your videos!!!!
Thanks a lot Stark Terror. A lot of psychiatrists get away from doing therapy because the larger practices expect them to stick to medication management. With a 10-15 minute med check, there's not much time to talk about anything except what medication change to make.
Disassociation is spot on for me!
I always wondered. Now I know. I remember very little up to the age of 10. This information makes me feel less like an outer space creature, more an average human being. Thank you, Dr. Marks.
Idk if you’ve made a video on dissociation and how to treat it yet, but this would be helpful!! I’ve been doing it all my life, that I even thought I had adhd at one point
I just love the way she puts things, just great! l think if l had a person like her in my life ,l would be a better person, but I will take what l can get, thank you Dr.🤓
Your videos always come right on time as I was experiencing anxiety last week. 🙏🏾
I'm glad to here this
Adams, Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Thank you for this! A lot of this seems to also describe what I thought to be narcissism. I would really love if you could discuss traits that might belong to several different disorders , and specifically how we can better communicate with people who seem unable to confront some of those behaviours.
I find it especially challenging with ADHD and ASD characteristics, as I often struggle not to react to things that seem irrational or contradictory to me.
Thanks again!
First, as always when I watch your videos, my upmost gratitude for the knowledge you share. Second, your videos are always on point and delivered in a way that’s easy for the viewer to digest so to speak. My jaw dropped when you spoke about disassociation as in school I had learned about these defense mechanisms but never really got good examples, until the examples you used and The elaboration on them,. Often I’ve apologize to my therapist because I know our work is largely predicated on connecting that which has happened in my past to how it’s evolved into who I am today. And I’m always saying that I don’t have much memory of childhood and it seems so weird and I don’t know why I only recollect the bad parts and not even those very well and she always reassures me that it’s OK that I don’t remember and that she would be surprised if I actually did have a better memory of my childhood and to see that you also reflect exactly what she’s told me I’m on your own patient population it’s just really good to hear. Thank you for sharing these experiences you’ve had in your practice with patience with us. Because it adds a bit of self acceptance that our experiences have origins and shared by many. You’re the best Dr. Marks! Wishing Much love, happiness, joy, & all other good things in life fulfill your life abundantly ♥️
Glad i found you, Dr. Tracey.
Excellent tutorial.
Educational experience , for me.
Very professional.
Thank you.
I am watching it twice.
It's interesting that you mentioned displacement because when I got angry at my ex I tried not to get into a yelling match with them but started cleaning instead. I found that to be a more constructive use of anger.
Dr. Marks you are literally a life saver REALLY your videos have really answered some of my concerns....🧡
Hello doctor Marks, I love your videos ❤️ they are so on point. I wondered if you could do a video on addictions. Is it true that some people's brains are prone to become addicted? I used to smoke, but I was able to stop just like that. My boyfriend on the other hand stopped too, but can't stop thinking about cigarettes even after a year. Why did he got addicted and I didn't? How do addictions work and how do you treat them?
There are genes that may increase your chances to become addicted to something
Just a thought. Maybe he stopped for you and not himself and if so that’s powerful in itself.
One thing that helped my uncle quit smoking was washing all his clothing and bedding and steam cleaning his whole house to get rid of the odor.
@@tinamoore2979 A person who is struggling with an addiction has to have the desire to stop their habit for their own well-being. Otherwise, they will relapse or fail and give up.
As someone currently struggling with addiction, I second your idea and would love for her to make a video on it!
Hello doctor. I love this channel. Please do a video on imposter syndrome. I am a millennial and I am finally entering into my career. I am one of the youngest employees at my job and I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and incompetence even though I meet the qualifications for the job. Extreme anxiety accompanies me on a daily basis and I feel releived when I get in the car to go home. I often dissociate at work and zone out. This is my dream job! But I still feel like im not supposed to be here. Could trauma be a contributor to my feelings? Thank you.
This is an interesting topic. It doesn't have to be trauma-based, but that could certainly affect your confidence. Let me see what I can come up with.
@@DrTraceyMarks thank you for your reply! Looking forward to it!
@@DrTraceyMarks is this being considered
Intellectualization is my main defense mechanism.. i just sit there and it becomes hyperreflection until i'm completely drained..
That combined with dissoziation and excessive gaming.. and i'll forget heavily what happened the last couple hours. Tunnelvision becomes more frequently and then i'm constantly overloaded and have to sort things on the table to help out my overloaded memory.
That's kinda useful, but actually really bad for making the right choices or even to prepare something for the next days.
Dunno if someone else had actually been there. I'm glad that i'm not this mode rn. I feel relaxed and not in danger.
Dr Marks, can you please do a video on the differences between a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, and mental health counselor? How do we determine which one is right for our mental health needs? This may be a silly question, but I tend to use these interchangeably.
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge 💛
Great idea. I think there's a lot of confusion about this and what qualifications each one has.
This is a great question! 👍🏼
Sorry for the long answer.
I'll try to answer your questions, but keep in mind that there may be some differences across different geographic areas.
A psychologist is a graduate in psychology, so they have some knowledge of various psychological fields, and can work in human resources, job interviews, policy making, and all those jobs were it's necessary to estimate what people may think or how they might act.
A psychiatrist, on the other hand, is a doctor who has specialized in mental health, just like a cardiologist has specialized on the heart.
A psychotherapist is either a psychologist or a psychiatrist who attended extra courses and training in order to do psychotherapy. Without this extra specialization neither of the two can.
In addition, because the psychiatrist is a doctor they can prescribe medications, something which a psychologist cannot do. (And a psychiatrist can prescribe medications even if they're not a psychotherapist).
Lastly, a counselor usually hasn't majored neither in psychology nor in psychiatry, and is not a licenced psychotherapist. They're range of action is more limited, and they can help you deal with ordinary life challenges or big changes, teach coping mechanisms and help with some problem solving. But they cannot work as psychotherapist, so dealing with mental health disorders/illnesses in depth is out of their range.
If you have or think you have mental health disorders then a psychotherapist is what you would be looking for, otherwise if you need some help with your life (no mental health issues) a counselor may do the job.
Then, if you need a therapist (short for psychotherapist) which is the best? Psychiatrist or psychologist? That very much depends on several things (theoretical framework, personal experience, country, etc.).
If you're wondering whether you could benefit from meds, have check with a psychiatrist.
You may want a psychiatrist who's also your psychotherapist, or you may want a psychologist who's your psychotherapist and if needed a psychiatrist who follows the medication side.
Generally speaking, a psychologist has more psychological knowledge, while a psychiatrist has more body knowledge. This distinction is not always this true, as some psychologist may learn more about neurology and bodily function and health, and a psychiatrist may choose to expand their knowledge of psychology.
Hope this helps a bit :)
Thank you sooo much Dr. Marks. I've explained almost verbatim what you said about dissociation, but was told by family I was making it up, wrong etc etc. My family is very unhealthy and think all of these coping behaviors are acceptable, even ideal- i.e. not their problem if it's hurting children and everyone in general.
Everything you say is such valuable advice and information. Thank you so much for your videos!!
You are absolutely the bomb! Dr Marks, you are like the college professor that I wish that I had while obtaining my Psychology degree! Keep up the wonderful work…
Studies show that The frontal cortex the conscious mind runs at 3 to 4 data bits per second and the subconscious runs at 2 million data bits per second no wonder why the subconscious is so powerful. To test this just wiggle your left or right toe notice the sock around it the shoe the air the floor. Your subconscious is aware of everybody part at every moment ever every day throughout your life this is where the two million database per second is going. Have you ever been in a rush and then accidentally cut yourself and find the cut only because you're bleeding. Then you understand that your frontal cortex being in a rush has three data bits per second filled up with thoughts of that Rush. The mind is a wondrous thing thankfully studies and brain scans are bringing it more to our conscious mind. Tracy thanks so much for making these videos :-)
Intellectualization is a tough one for me, it’s almost impossible to find the line these days btw it & whatever else we’re supposed to be feeling
Well put!!
The way I deal with it is by being compassionate as possible, towards myself. 'Intellectualization' has very strong links to criticism, it's kind of the other side of the coin. I feel like, when I intellectualize, I become more judgemental of others. I can't, see,' them, all I see is what they 'should' be, in my intellectualised world. It's like trying to make sense of something rather than just accepting it.
@@ebbyc1817 our ape Brain Craves answers and Understanding the more we understand something the better we can Develop strategy to Deal with it we want to tease out all the secrets of the Universe but Ultimately maybe our Brains are simply unable to comprehend all of it
Hi Dr. Tracy! I just studied this in school...wow. I am going for my BS in Behavioral Health Science...I love it! Thank you for your knowledge of the mental life. God bless you!
That's awesome. All the best to you!
As always thank you for public post. It's helpful ✅.
I was more mature as a child then an adult, I developed paranoid schizophrenia and it caused a regression to more primative defenses.
1. To "feel not equipped to express" can emerge out of frustrutation to express what is out of other peoples experience (plus the whole "life and the world laughs with..." thing) or bounded up too tight with "double binds".
2. This I wish I could do. Such buffers would help the distress from contradictions.
4. I do have a lot of this, big chucks of my experience of dealing socially while in a extreme paranoid state.
It is horrible.
I displace often by house cleaning, though I have broke some dishes 😕
Intellectualism is a daly routine, to a degree.
You know, I see memes about disassociation and I relate to them, but I suppose I didn't actually have a good understanding of what it's really like. My jaw was on the floor by the time you were done explaining it; I've unfortunately never related to anything more😅 thank you so much for all the work you do making these videos. I've learned a lot about myself as a person and appreciate you💕
I would love to see more on anger and depression
😲 I wish I could talk to you for hours 😅 like can I just unload my life onto you.... This short video explained little things I've questioned about myself for years. Hope one day I can find a great therapist 🤞🏽
Thank you for this very helpful UA-cam page.
very helpful information on how our primative "lizard brain" takes over with anxiety. I've also heard it as our inner child taking over.
BTW, it looks like you are wearing a Volendam hat (traditional 18th century Dutch hat) in the thumbnail haha
As always, very informative content Dr. Marks. ❤️❤️❤️
Really great videos, Dr. Marks.
Thanks
Thank you Dr. Marks. This was quite interesting as are your other.videos.
Your very intelligent in your messages , it all makes sense to me , although your messages are very high level you break it down very well with your communication
I love your videos! I appreciate you posting them regularly! You Rock!
Glad you like them!
your videos are always so enlightening. thank you for all you’re doing to help folks like me 🧡
I remember how strange it seemed to me to meet people who could name all the teachers they had in school or who remembered birthdays, family vacations, and things like that. Easily 90% of my childhood is missing, a fog punctuated by the occasional strong image, either calm and relaxed or extremely negative. I was in my 40s when I realized that this was unusual. I still wonder how much of an influence this has on my adult life, and I honestly don't know.
Thank you Dr.Marks!!! You are so much help!
This was clear and very informative
the disassociations are bad, but at least I notice it more as an adult ;) Thank you!
Thank You Dr.Marks
I tend to subconsciously use denial as a defense against very intense negative emotions which sucks because I'll genuinly have myself convinced that I'm doing fine only to realize later that I wasn't and that I would have felt better sooner if I let myself feel it. Getting better at recognizing it though.
I do compartmentalize (for work) and intellectualize a lot. I don't easily grieve my relatives' deaths, thinking that it's part of life (but I'd feel pretty sad if my favorite musicians passed away and would grieve a bit, though we're practically strangers) and I try not to feel guilty about my work that pays the bills and buys me food (like writing movie spoilers for blogs). I just hope what I'm doing helps rather than hurt the creative industries like film, because spoilers get people excited about watching films too and some if not many of them seek the films out. I don't dissociate (if I do, it's rare and for something insignificant) but I have friends that might do it to avoid feeling traumatized (they rarely discuss their childhood and even some of the time we spent at school or together as adolescents -- my memory is usually vivid; theirs sounds vague like they don't remember at all). I don't really act out but I notice that I seem to have a midlife crisis just before hitting a certain milestone, like abandoning a career path, dropping out of postgrad, without regard to the consequences for another -- but I do it because I don't feel happy, so why get stuck with it forever?
I love your eyes & the way you talk!!
Thank you so much for what you are doing here on UA-cam Dr Marks.
You're welcome and thank you!
My BIGGEST problem when somebody gets me into my fighting mood is I go out and kick my old truck for minutes on end resulting in a good leg workout and anti-stress although my Ford is definitely not enjoying the therapy sessions
If you don't have one (and I'm guessing you probably do) INSTALL a towing rig. Then talk to a welder/fabricator about a vertical frame you could install to the towing rig from which you could hang a bag... be it peanut-bag, reaction-bag, or a heavy bag... Yeah, it's a bit of a cost, but once you've got the frame, just about any towing rig will hold it... AND you've GOT the frame. A single bag can be pricey, too... BUT like the frame, once you've got it, you've got it...
AND I highly doubt you'll ever get enough leg or weight in a bag to knock your truck over.
I built one for a buddy of mine to avoid hitting his company truck, because he had a frustrating position (dull underlings, impatient boss) and was like you... didn't mind kicking the crap out of a fender or whatever on his own... I know you probably don't mind a ding or two once in a while, and a Ford usually isn't soggy enough to suffer too badly, but a little cost now to have the basics, and you can afford a nice newer machine SO much easier down the figurative road... AND who can't use a tow-rig?
Hell... Dude even uses the frame occasionally in his yard as a hoist-point for small-duty jobs, like tractor engines or helping lift equipment at one end as much as drag it over the ground... He just needed me to run the welder. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Wow! I appreciate you for this helpful knowledge
@@davemustaine8700 You are ALWAYS wery welcome... I hope you pull it together without too much hell to play. It'll save your truck a bit, and you might even start coaching kids for stuff like boxing instead of fighting in school and the like... or even just help a few co-workers "let off a little steam" once in a while.
EVERYbody knows "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
Not so much "There's more than one cat to skin that way." ;o)
@@davemustaine8700 Reduce negative thoughts to feel better. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, eyes closed, be still and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly they will reduce and relax the mind. No deep inhalation-exhalation or breath counting needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Be as still as possible as it reduces negative thoughts. Make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Get a punching bag trust me it helps
Dr Marks ,love your videos.
Thank you Dr. Tracey :) !
Shoutout to you for being such a great YouTubing queen.
Dr Marks, how long can a depressive episode last? Online the average says around 6-8 months, but I feel like I have been in one for 2 years. Will it ever end? I've tried 9 different psychiatric medications with little success. Thank you for your content and work around mental health education.
thank you so much, dear Tracey 😘💖
Good morning Dr. Marks!
Morning! - at least it was. I'm getting to this late. 🙂
Thank you for this video.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge! This was the video I didn’t know I needed. I really enjoyed how you presented these thoughts. I’m going to subscribe!☺️
Wow 😮! Thank you Dr. This helped me identify some things in me I couldn’t quite describe.
Good morning doctor, thank you for making this video
Examples, fear, immoral, irrational, sexual desires which are unacceptable, Primitive Defences: 1) Acting out, 2) Compartmentalization, rationalization. 3) denial, of say, addiction or that you - sometimes Ok.. 4) dissociation…change channels to hide stuff, numb yourself, not in the moment 5) reaction formation , making an opposition Mature Defences: Don’t rely on primitive… 1) displacement redirect indirect undesirable stuff…kick your dog when boss gives you grief , 2) intellectualization…avoid feelings by thinking about mental rational stuff…to avoid ‘feeling’ or experiencing it or accepting it.
I dissociated from most of my childhood. I find it hard to recall more than 5-10 significant memories from my first 10-12 yrs! I recall hallucinations in my preschool years. My defense was intellectualization, honed in HS and even further in college! Then came the collapse in my mid-late 20s. I have been rebuilding ever since. But the core seems unreachable. I have recently learned though, to think of my heart as healed, and my mind as the gateway through which harmful/pain inducing thoughts arise and get deposited in my heart causing adverse reactions, or through which loving, positive, edifying/uplifting thoughts can be cultivated or curated to plant in my heart continuously, thus producing a more joyful life.
Dr. Tracey Marks, it's good to see you (first saw you on PFA site-good interview), love the way you present info-that is a gift that you have. I really like this video. You're a beautiful and smart woman. Congratulations on your success. Thanks for the advice.
Dr. Marks, you are so soothing. This is another great video. 💜
This lady is in my head. 🤯
Thank you. 🙏💙
Due to dissociation I have memory loss and brain fog. I've suffered allot of trauma from childhood to adulthood. I can't control what memories my mind chooses to protect me from. Sometime's good memories get locked away as well..