Bill Burr - Public Swimming Pools

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  • Опубліковано 19 тра 2013
  • billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 120

  • @Grottgreta
    @Grottgreta 10 років тому +76

    "looking like a LOBSTAH" holy shit I almost spat water all over the screen

  • @htxflow
    @htxflow 9 років тому +60

    "Keyword Manity(Manatee)"
    hysterical!

  • @4Legacy
    @4Legacy 8 років тому +39

    I love how Bill always tries to cut the bullshit. He wouldn't even let himself say "against my will". He cuts himself off and says "against my w- what I wanted to do..."

  • @eLiFILMSinc
    @eLiFILMSinc 4 роки тому +37

    "The only Pool I'll ever Swim in, is my Pool......if I ever get one!!" lol

  • @emdiar6588
    @emdiar6588 7 років тому +140

    LOL. Dude, your folks evolved in northern Europe with no UV protection needed. My GF is a Ginger, and she spontaneously combusts if I put a 100 watt bulb in the living room.

    • @falcosparverius6385
      @falcosparverius6385 7 років тому +2

      em diar I guess trips to beaches and islands are out of the question for you 😕

    • @mattr7118
      @mattr7118 6 років тому +12

      em diar Does the carpet match the drapes?

    • @michaelsieger9133
      @michaelsieger9133 5 років тому +1

      lucky bitch... gingers are the best

    • @codyminecrack248
      @codyminecrack248 5 років тому

      I can attest to this...

    • @danehales2021
      @danehales2021 4 роки тому +1

      Thank god I got a ginger Mexican.

  • @akirascrow15
    @akirascrow15 11 років тому +27

    "They're gonna steal the paddles."

  • @bwc12minus38
    @bwc12minus38 9 років тому +22

    This was a good one. Laughed my ass off

  • @skankhunt-vw8xr
    @skankhunt-vw8xr 9 років тому +47

    My neck was sore from shaking my head at people.

  • @ThatCanadianGuy420
    @ThatCanadianGuy420 10 років тому +17

    Bills MM podcasts are more funny then most comedians HBO specials.

  • @Snipersounds
    @Snipersounds 7 років тому +4

    Bill Burr is SOOOOOO funny! It's nice to have daily jokes from a top comedian, rather than having to wait for the next special. Thanks for sharing!

  • @mhks68
    @mhks68 8 років тому +9

    Bill got outta the pool in a helicoptaaaaaaahhhh!

  • @elliesings9508
    @elliesings9508 3 роки тому +2

    "...you're taking a fucking Aids bath..." Lmao!! I just spit up my sushi

  • @eLiFILMSinc
    @eLiFILMSinc 4 роки тому +4

    "The key word....Manatee" lol

  • @marleychloe
    @marleychloe 8 років тому +11

    crying from laughing so hard!~!!

  • @seanlaffey3633
    @seanlaffey3633 4 роки тому +4

    I feel your pain, Bill. It’s the worst thing in the world when you have plans and you need to go out lookin like a LOBSTAAAA

  • @Sweetwildflower
    @Sweetwildflower 6 років тому +3

    Peppy LA pew....I love you Billlllly booooooy

  • @falcosparverius6385
    @falcosparverius6385 7 років тому +9

    Yea, I'll never go in a public pool again ⚠️

  • @yvonnedearman
    @yvonnedearman 11 років тому +7

    Never going in a pool again

  • @MrJspinuzza
    @MrJspinuzza 10 років тому +14

    OH THE HUMANITY.......sorry i meant HUGE MANATEE

  • @hamhi98
    @hamhi98 7 років тому +8

    LAHHHBSTAAA!!

  • @LiteratiCircle
    @LiteratiCircle 8 років тому +1

    I'm laughin my ass off..you're hilarious dude!

  • @redscarecomixx8488
    @redscarecomixx8488 5 років тому +5

    Evidently, in France you're so fkin happy you forget to put on deoderant. Omg I love Bill

  • @hjojo1
    @hjojo1 4 роки тому +1

    Old Billy clean aaaaaass!!

  • @urbanvancity
    @urbanvancity 11 років тому

    hell i would love to hear weekly podcasts with the two of them together!

  • @fistoffries
    @fistoffries 11 років тому +3

    I wonder if anyone ever hears this podcast after bragging to everyone "Hey! Guess what?! When I was in Vegas I saw Bill Burr, at the pool! Yeah, he's the guy from Breaking Bad. Wait! He said WHAT on his pod cast?!?"

  • @TalkinRitz
    @TalkinRitz 8 років тому +3

    Nice bidet reference! People need to know about these!!

  • @BobbyNewb
    @BobbyNewb 4 роки тому +2

    Key word: "manatee". LMAO

  • @tomkelly9409
    @tomkelly9409 11 років тому +3

    Saw him in Newport RI last summer, best comedian since George Carlin

    • @813lynch4
      @813lynch4 5 років тому +1

      Most certainly agree with you on that 1

  • @johnthorpe23
    @johnthorpe23 11 років тому

    I saw him live a few months ago. He was fantastic!

  • @PixelPariah
    @PixelPariah 10 років тому +23

    I've never been in a pool I haven't pissed in. Good day.

    • @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver
      @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver 4 роки тому

      Well who the fuck goes to a swimming pool and doesn't take a shower right after? The pool is full of kids who shit in it anyway.

    • @lilnerf9269
      @lilnerf9269 3 роки тому

      Gotta mark your territory

  • @brunoleite8380
    @brunoleite8380 Рік тому

    "Cuz I have Nia's permission " 🤣

  • @malerak2228
    @malerak2228 5 років тому

    "a bidet is basically a car wash for your asshole".. I burst out laughing at work 😂

  • @michaelmalagrino9519
    @michaelmalagrino9519 3 роки тому

    vitamin E!! lololol

  • @UnderseaCaveman
    @UnderseaCaveman 11 років тому

    Ocean Only....hope you come back to Hawaii soon!!!

  • @ScreaminMime
    @ScreaminMime 7 років тому

    I have a bidet I bought on Amazon, best buy I've made it the past decade. GET ONE!!!

  • @TheTube8u
    @TheTube8u 5 років тому

    “A Bidet is a car wash for you asshole” hahahahahaha 😂

  • @doommuffinz5276
    @doommuffinz5276 7 років тому +7

    Jeff Cavilere is in the best shape for someone his age. (name might be misspelled) Athlean X

  • @matthewgriffin7857
    @matthewgriffin7857 6 років тому

    Oh the humanity!

  • @alvinperlas
    @alvinperlas 11 років тому

    speaking of the pools, in Las Vegas, Wet n Wild is now OPEN!!

  • @MissFormaldehydeFace
    @MissFormaldehydeFace 11 років тому +1

    Lmfao salminila shower.. cracks me up

  • @richardf8767
    @richardf8767 4 роки тому

    Bill, you’re describing RWI Recreational Water Illness & it’s no joke!

  • @paulchakola7372
    @paulchakola7372 2 роки тому

    I haven't been swimming since 2003, I got violently ill...after swimming in a hotel pool.

  • @patrickbateman4148
    @patrickbateman4148 2 роки тому

    Bill's Definition of a BD is hilarious.

  • @rawsko0316
    @rawsko0316 5 років тому

    Billy thinkin cap

  • @YourBeingParanoid
    @YourBeingParanoid 7 років тому

    I thought Bill would have came across the even stranger Scandinavian toilets with there expected shelves.

  • @Filiolus
    @Filiolus 11 років тому

    Key word, manatee. HAHAHAHA.

  • @elchappo1320
    @elchappo1320 3 роки тому

    U and Sebastian maniscalco are so alike!

  • @KeshaIsHot808
    @KeshaIsHot808 11 років тому +2

    lol

  • @MikeKokoschka
    @MikeKokoschka 11 років тому +1

    I guess Im done with the pools...no more pool for me...!!!

  • @patodiblasi
    @patodiblasi 3 роки тому

    In Argentina we also have bidets, it's more common than not to have it.

  • @calebspurlin8934
    @calebspurlin8934 5 років тому

    Lmao, Vitamin E

  • @gonzaloponti5769
    @gonzaloponti5769 7 років тому

    In Argentina we have bidets

  • @JOSEPH-vs2gc
    @JOSEPH-vs2gc 5 років тому +1

    I live outside San Francisco, i feel EXACTLY the same as you about those damn Tattoos. Instant Regret...

  • @markmcgrath9736
    @markmcgrath9736 9 років тому

    Hey Bill, don't forget about Legionnaire's disease. Remember that one, first discovered in Philly in 1976? Another reason to stay out of heated pools and hot tubs.

    • @DrNickRiveria
      @DrNickRiveria 8 років тому +1

      i looked that up. no where as cool as it sounds.

  • @biggzcorey
    @biggzcorey 6 років тому

    As a redhead, I can totally relate.

  • @_jadori_175
    @_jadori_175 6 років тому

    KEYWORD MANATEE!

  • @OneEyedJackNLD
    @OneEyedJackNLD 5 місяців тому

    4:38

  • @AmmarAhmad5
    @AmmarAhmad5 10 років тому

    Wow, a video with no dislikes. I guess everyone really hates public swimming pool.

    • @mistermasterful3556
      @mistermasterful3556 9 років тому

      nah they just love listening to the great reasoning of Bill Burr!

  • @rose4490
    @rose4490 4 роки тому +1

    I love swimming pools, I just happen to hate all the other people, and the ball of cancer in the sky.

  • @pstlwhppd
    @pstlwhppd 11 років тому

    I'd pay $1000 for that ticket.

  • @GRAFFDEMON
    @GRAFFDEMON 5 років тому

    As a ginger with tattoos.... LOL

  • @FlowKio
    @FlowKio Рік тому

    Last time I went to a public pool I seen a homeless man giving himself a quick bath, I only go to the beach now.

  • @michelironside6160
    @michelironside6160 5 років тому

    I JUST WANNA SAY FUCK IT!

  • @setinahugh9182
    @setinahugh9182 7 років тому

    Bochi Ball, you are four balls short.

  • @Nastypsychoboy
    @Nastypsychoboy 11 років тому

    DOODIE!!!!!!!!!!

  • @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver
    @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver 4 роки тому

    I can't go to swimming pools. I can't stand the thought of people being so close to me.

  • @jimbomorrison7133
    @jimbomorrison7133 3 роки тому

    I went in a pool on a cruise ship and let me tell you something. If people are drinking in the pool,their pissing in it. Never go in a cruise ship pool,or hot tub.UGH.

  • @jcnot9712
    @jcnot9712 5 років тому

    Not sure France is the best place to go to a swimming pool at.

  • @kenmount294
    @kenmount294 4 роки тому

    Public pools are disgusting! But if you get down there early enough after the filter and chlorine working all nite, you might be ok for an early morning swim.

  • @punkuddha
    @punkuddha 11 років тому

    paperbagbandits

  • @ramone2185
    @ramone2185 11 років тому

    I don't know about anyone else, but I'm gonna being exercising for the rest of my life. It feels too good to stop! It's the best "drug" there is! A fountain of youth is what they call it.

  • @nickmagrick7702
    @nickmagrick7702 5 років тому

    Bills sensitive about the color of his skin guys, lets not talk about the milk crust forming in the wrinkles next to his receding hair line, he doesn't like to think about how some people point out that it somehow makes him racist, and goofy looking. And thats just mean, so lets try to think about good ol Bill here. For Bill.

  • @je187u
    @je187u 11 років тому

    ha ha ha , how the fuck didn't you people know this ?
    is common sense , pool water is actually sweat , ass and balls soap , not to mention all the hair that all those people loose in the water while swimming in there
    i only shower :)) you should too !!!!!!!!

  • @HomleandSecurity
    @HomleandSecurity 11 років тому

    Plus I always get rid of my used condoms in public pools.

  • @spongeblonde1309
    @spongeblonde1309 4 роки тому

    I dated a man from Paris. Also have family from there. Trust & believe, the man i dated was the cleanest/healthiest person i ever met. I’m a vegan & felt like a total American slob eating next to him. Total myth about the French..He always smelled & looked delicious. 💯👌😜

    • @pauldrummond755
      @pauldrummond755 4 роки тому +2

      You had to get the message across that you're a vegan in there didn't ya...

    • @spongeblonde1309
      @spongeblonde1309 4 роки тому

      paul drummond LOL I was simply making a point. But since you asked, YES.😂 Lot of hard work & dedication ova heyyyy. Think the proof is in the pudding.😜😉

    • @dt4236
      @dt4236 4 роки тому

      Vegans only piss me off for one reason. Its expensive af. You dnt see no poor ppl affording that middle class shit.

  • @soulsoprano9866
    @soulsoprano9866 10 років тому

    Gross...but so true.

  • @MrEddieEvo
    @MrEddieEvo 7 років тому

    12:09 Conor McGregor

  • @HFFCANADA
    @HFFCANADA 3 роки тому

    Lol "saved the French" yeah you guys definitely didn't. You helped. If anything the Russians Australians French and British troops did most of the killing and dying in WW1 and WW2. Also that was payback for the role they played in you're own Independence. Most people don't even know that if it wasn't for the French wich supplied training, weapons, manpower, technology, fleets ect ect American would be an English colonie right now.
    But that's too hard for ppl to get.
    Washington won the war that's it.......

  • @TIOLIOfficial
    @TIOLIOfficial 8 місяців тому +1

    Boring.