He’s a family friendly youtuber! That’s why he used to say shit and feck all the time! And he’s definetly not being forced to not swear by UA-cam for monetisation!
I onl remember two things of my childhood when I was five, stepping in a strange brown mass that might have been mud and the atrocities committed by the Portuguese in Saudi Arabia
Kevin: *Chooses to attack people whenever he can* Hair Dryer: *Actually attacks people* Kevin: What the hell is wrong with you! Man this kid has issues
Kevin: “I don’t take things that aren’t mine” Flashback to the Sims where he literally takes people off the street and holds them hostage in his basement and forces them to paint all day...
This game is like: Your mom has been promoted. *POLITICAL INTRIGUES HAVE CAUSED MESOPOTAMIA TO DESCEND INTO WAR!! **_THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!_* You said a bad word.
@@alayna9270 put * around the part of the sentence that should be bold; or _ for italics. Ex: (*)Hello(*) *Hello* without () (_)Bye(_) _Bye_ without () And you may combine them like (_*)poop( *_) *_poop_*
Kevin: “Let’s go out with her” Her: I am now Kim Jung-il, bow before me you petty mortals and worship me. The poor will starve and all will respect my paper propaganda.
if u ever play this again: get the dating app, get the oldest people possible with 80k+ salary, make her like u, skip 1 year, propose and get married right after, and boom, when she dies, ez inheritance. rinse and repeat
I know this is one comment among thousands on an old video, but I just wanted you to know that I've been using this BitLife playlist to get to sleep every night for about half a year now. I'm going through a lot of difficult times and struggle to turn my brain off when I lay down to sleep, and this playlist is the only thing that helps me. It's my anxiety and insomnia buster and even helps me feel less alone. I'm so grateful to you -- thank you so much.
@@dysonburt3309 In many of those countries most items cost way less than in the us.In my country teachers make about $20.000 a year,but that's enough to afford 5 years of rent.
9:18 With someone like me, whose real name is also Irish Gaelic, hearing the name "Saoirse" being pronounced correctly (AND SO SMOOTHLY!!!!) brought me great joy and satisfaction.
"Failure"? No, that doesn't make any sense in Kevin's case. 🤔 🤨 ...Wait, I see some fun irony here. 😶 And Kevin doesn't even know!? 😂 *Points it out in comments*
At the second or third unplanned pregnancy, that is actually a sane and responsible response. Especially if the guy was using condoms, or she was claiming to be on the pill, and she still somehow got pregnant... for a third time. We have massive overpopulation with 8 billion humans on this planet. No-one needs or should be allowed to have three or more children.
@@TF2CrunchyFrog ok you're wrong on 2 of those things first of its 7.7 billion, second we arent over populated the earths carrying capacity is 9 or 10 billion
Ah yes, I once played Bitlife as Richard Nixon and got 400,000,000 years in Prison and broke my entire game. Morale of the story, don't talk about Watergate.
Doubly so if you're a Scorpio /dragon like my brother. He made a Jeffery Dahmer sim and tried to fill a 1,000x1,000 plot with graves. We only failed at 79 victims because the ghosts haunted Dahmer to death lmao...
“Hair Dryer has no levels, its just on or off” best underrated joke
His temper can best be described as hot and cold moments.
I was hoping for some subtle sound effects
There should be a high or low option though
Wow that joke just went straight over my head 😂
I’m very glad I read this comment because it completely went over my head
Kevin: “Oh my girlfriend’s pregnant”
*a year goes by*
Kevin: “Oh she had it already”
think someone needs to explain pregnancy to kevin
ineffable idiocy lmao
He quit school give him a break
ROFL! He is also calling his 2 fiance's wife! :)
Yeah not surprising when the single press of a button makes a whole year pass.
Hair dryer: *is diagnosed with epilepsy
Kevin: "broadcasting club, why not"
Hair dryer: *dies*
I wonder why..
Caitlin Long I know this is a joke but fun fact: Photosensitive epilepsy is actually one of the least common types of epilepsy.
@@VictorianOrpheus fun fact its not murder if you dont get caught
Hail Lamp What does this have to do with my comment...? All I did was leave an informative comment about epilepsy because I’m epileptic
@@VictorianOrpheus hey you gave a fun fact I gave a fun fact
@@VictorianOrpheus also respect for responding when your comment was like 5 months ago
15:55
"My son, Girl, came out of the closet as gay."
Grace Whaley Nobody saw this coming
Had to think about that for a minute.
Grace Whaley LMAOO
* *it hurt itself in its confusion!* *
I read this before I saw the bit and it confused me properly
"trying to make the right choices"
**attacks 6 year old classmates**
nicr
shrek on ice that’s the best
The stupidest death i had was when i was like nine years old and my classmate blew me up with a cannon
Madison and Emma Pheysey I swear where do they even get these things did they just pop in existence and their hands
I once died in bitlife because I told on another kid. He used a missile launcher to kill me.
@@sciencewizard2861 now this is just getting rediculus whats next someone gets killed by a spoon at 2 years old?
I would like but the number is too perfect
do these kids have guns to use for this reason
Kevin: This is the worst life
My life: There is another
Indeed my friend
Yes, yes.
Farmer ball
relatable
@@superbtrilogy5049 what is that on your profile picture...?
"There's a little mouse here, squiggling, like 'A new life!'"
Oh no. Kevin, we need to talk.
Yeah but I think he knows what it is but he can't say sperm because UA-cam would be pissed
“Squeak squeak” Kevin no
HE IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY UA-camR he can't say the s-e-x word!!
@@funguy156 Thanks for ruining the joke....
He’s a family friendly youtuber! That’s why he used to say shit and feck all the time!
And he’s definetly not being forced to not swear by UA-cam for monetisation!
I onl remember two things of my childhood when I was five, stepping in a strange brown mass that might have been mud and the atrocities committed by the Portuguese in Saudi Arabia
Me too man, the Israel-Palestine conflict really fucked with me at age 3
Me and the boys reading about geopolitical tensions in the Middle East and recording their activities carefully in my journal
@@ajani-lamar-_-3712 well
Kevin: *Chooses to attack people whenever he can*
Hair Dryer: *Actually attacks people*
Kevin: What the hell is wrong with you! Man this kid has issues
L
@@himynameisntben W
@SkittishWasTakenw
Kevin: “I don’t take things that aren’t mine”
Flashback to the Sims where he literally takes people off the street and holds them hostage in his basement and forces them to paint all day...
Well. At least he didn't take things. :P
Nathan Crispin Now I want to do that in my game !
Bob Ross.
@@SunScourge Well... he did :D or at least Jim had such a past time activity sometimes :D
People are not things though
1:32 She's acctually been promoted from firefighter to Firefighter
It came with a raise, so she got more capital.
mom --> Mom
@@kc12311 holy shit that was brilliant
@@kc12311 the fuck?! Haha Are you a real comedian? Dude ur a genius
Sorry to reply to a 2 year old comment but holy shit that was funny
"Roll call. Peterson, John"
"Here"
"Simmons, Al"
"Here"
Call me, Maybe"
omg he shouldve named his daughter maybe
@@whytho8856 a missed opportunity if you ask me
Is that OG spawn lol?
@@ErodiumsMnemic I've been readling Spawn lately
@@DarwinLovesRedHeads hell yeah
Considering how Kevin raises his Young in the sims i assume he’ll be just as good at playing this game!
AxxL ok boomer
@@AxxLAfriku axxl, your own community doesn't even want you. 63% of them, to be exact.
he definitely has a talent for naming them
This game is like:
Your mom has been promoted.
*POLITICAL INTRIGUES HAVE CAUSED MESOPOTAMIA TO DESCEND INTO WAR!! **_THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!_*
You said a bad word.
How do you do italics, and amazing comment lol
Alayna Matthews press alt f4 to do italics
@@eyeless2291 thank you!
Alayna Matthews no problem
@@alayna9270 put * around the part of the sentence that should be bold; or _ for italics.
Ex:
(*)Hello(*)
*Hello* without ()
(_)Bye(_)
_Bye_ without ()
And you may combine them like
(_*)poop( *_)
*_poop_*
Kevin: _uses "but" in the title again_
Everyone: **visible happiness**
"You've been accused of mastuerbating at work"
Kevin:Oh that's so scorpio
Also Kevin (a scorpio): *works from home*
_Thonk_
well it makes sense but he does have a wife/girlfriend so..
@lucette5 I feel it
he works in front of a camera. clearly he needs to get a better editor if he's missing these shots.
Just Someone Who Love The Sims he does????
Kevin: “Let’s go out with her”
Her: I am now Kim Jung-il, bow before me you petty mortals and worship me. The poor will starve and all will respect my paper propaganda.
Oh, honey! I was just enslaving the rest of the class. Do you want to go out to dinner or something, later? Ok love you bye!
sounds like a great strategy to not be enslaved
She waited for him to go out with her so she could spare him without seeming weak. Genius strategy.
I mean, she already had incredible popularity. Like she would get 99% of the classes votes or something
"The louder I cry, the faster they come." -Kevin2019 out of context
Cum 😂
Yikes
“There’s a nice little mouse here wagging his tail hehe squeak squeak” - YourNameKevi 2019
Sweet sweet innocent mind
“Yournamekevi”
Ah little did he know
Kevin no- KEVIN NO
Yet, it's the same man who said this 2:59 ... they grow up too fast 😰
“You are now engaged to your girlfriend Peggy!”
*You have been diagnosed wih epilepsy*
Peggy did it
Those damn peggys
and PEGGY
DAMN YOU, PEGGY!
AND PEGGY. THE SCHUYLER SISTERS!!
“We’re Roisin into having a baby,” Kevin is a natural dad.
*Cue clip of him kicking baby doll*
Washin Machine: **decides to stalk his ex and then tells her that he's stalking her**
Intelligence 100
if u ever play this again: get the dating app, get the oldest people possible with 80k+ salary, make her like u, skip 1 year, propose and get married right after, and boom, when she dies, ez inheritance. rinse and repeat
I can also confirm this works in real life too!
@@xxiiwar2890 holy shit
The most Jim Pickens thing to do lol
Im a porn star i make 140K and i have a wife and im super famous my looks is 100 and everything else is 100
Total bullies:
“My life is going great!”
*five seconds later*
“My girlfriend is pregnant...”
Do I like the comment because it's funny, or leave it at 666 likes... Hmmmm
I’d move out of the country if I got a girl pregnant
kevin: killing people is ok
also kevin: calling a baby “fire” isnt ok
Media: whoa chill...
Hes got his priorities straight
them girls get to much fire...
Respect tbh
@Juan Cortez Muro
Reported for spam and shit content
"The louder i cry the faster they come"
-hair dryer call me 2019
lol
deep
Call Me Hair Dryer does have a better ring to it to be fair.
I agree
@Juan Cortez Muro oh no a bot
@Juan Cortez Muro
Actually it makes me want to die
@@sxlstzce report it like I did.
@@sxlstzce what bot? 😉
“It feels like summer vacation will never come.” *you’ve been diagnosed with depression*
We’ve all been there before, lmao
hahaha this one hit home
I know this is one comment among thousands on an old video, but I just wanted you to know that I've been using this BitLife playlist to get to sleep every night for about half a year now. I'm going through a lot of difficult times and struggle to turn my brain off when I lay down to sleep, and this playlist is the only thing that helps me. It's my anxiety and insomnia buster and even helps me feel less alone. I'm so grateful to you -- thank you so much.
Kevin: “What the hell my guy has anger issues!”
Also Kevin:*is controlling the guy*
edit: obligatory gratitude for attention or whatever
He put BUT in the title - what a glorious day
He also zoomed at the start!
kevin: "mrs. mcguinness?" they're being a little stereotypically irish."
also kevin: *is named kevin o'reilly*
Oh oh oh O'Reilly Auto parts
Wait what? Isn’t his last name CallMe?
9:50 "I'm trying to be the opposite of Hair Dryer"
Well Washin Machine is currently alive so you're doing alright.
"I ripped someones eye out and I got away with it" knowing Kevin, this may be a confession.
I’ve seen you in about every one of Kevin’s videos.
Nice to see a loyal fan
It is
Confused why a teacher got paid so much, then I realized this wasn’t America.
To true lol
the worst thing is that the us is ~7th highest Average Salary in the world for teachers meaning that teachers are underpaid thoughout the world
@@dysonburt3309 am I surprised?
No.
Am I disappointed?
Yes.
@@dysonburt3309 Then why do people moan so much about how theyre "underpaid" ?
@@dysonburt3309 In many of those countries most items cost way less than in the us.In my country teachers make about $20.000 a year,but that's enough to afford 5 years of rent.
Kevin: *gets restraining order on ex*
Also kevin : *stalks ex wife*
He got an restraining order on his ex-fling, not his ex wife.
Why are you here? Dont you have another settlement that needs help? Here I'll mark it on your map.
@@thachjellynguyen I hate the minutemen just because of preston.
@@thachjellynguyen IM EXTREMELY SORRY , I cba to change my pfp
Just kev things
Why was "I dont want any part if this, I just wanna be happy again." Hit closer to home than anything my therapist has said?
Some of the best parts of Kevin’s BitLife videos is his reaction to the dialogue the game has such as 5:07
Spends all his money on lottery tickets.
Intelligence: 100%
Okay then.
No it’s
*Intelligence 100*
This video was so funny!!
I’ve been diagnosed with depression.
I'm having such a good time here!
I have been diagnosed with bunions. Time to take my daily snake filet.
The baby is on fire!
Time to do pushups in the kitchen.
"I didn't know you could go to activity and decide things to do that day"
That's very Kevin, passing a single year by doing only one thing.
“No one wants me” *stadia logo on forehead* that made me laugh real hard
What where they thinking seeing the oouya example ???
Child: *giggles*
Kevin: "StOp CrYiNg"
“I was a planned pregnancy” “Were already off to a better start”
Kevin:“I made it further than hair dryer”
Me: You also made it further than Kevin
Oof
_"Three is the new 50"_
Well I guess we're all fecked
10 years old and has depression?
Know that feel
4:18
“You will be immediately killed by this action
Proceed?”
*_[YeS]_*
[Fuck yes]
"I was a planned pregnancy"
Kevin: Well were already off to a better start.
Hold up
Come on who even is a planned pregnancy?
Rafael Alódio honestly, i get surprised when my friends say they were planned 😭😂
@@jubileegonzalez are you sure they were they parents probaply lied
Are u all guys unplanned?😂
@@NatroshviliDachi yes lmao
Little did Bitlife know, they had found their #1 player and spokes person.
Kevin literally never clicked on the Activities tab. He should! DO IT KEVIN!
He'll see 'commit a crime' and it'll all be downhill from there
Underrated comment. The Activities tab is basically most of the game!
Bump!
I was thinking the same thing the whole time!
And the school tab. He could flirt with the teachers
Kevin, next time use the doctors, physicians, etc. when you get diagnosed it’s under the activities bar
10:30. Roisin is probably the only child Kevin has given a normal name to in Bitlife. 😆
"I'm learning that the louder I cry the faster they come." 👀🤣🤣🤣
Kevin: constantly makes fun of dance majors throughout the video
Me: A dance major😅
9:18
With someone like me, whose real name is also Irish Gaelic, hearing the name "Saoirse" being pronounced correctly (AND SO SMOOTHLY!!!!) brought me great joy and satisfaction.
"I'm learning that the louder i cry, the faster they come", oh my god
As he said, out of context would be VASTLY different in meaning, holy cow
Ok
Kevin: he’s a Scorpio like me
Scorpios: Scorpio gang rise up
♏️ RISE UP!!
@@Mickey-he2pe lanaswallows
I hope all the people that recommended this are happy with all the chaos they unleashed
8:40
“No delete him”
Don’t know why I found that so funny 😂
That's something people in their 40s+ always say lol!
Damn he never got to see the full game since he never pressed activities
He pressed activities multiple times
@@jekyll138.5 What like twice? XDD
Linkle Tinkle twice is multiple times don’t play yourself
@@dadeee7776 I don't actually! I enjoying playing with others. Playing on your own gets quite lonely!
@@Emu19 He said don't play yourself not play with yourself 💀
"I learned the louder I cry, the faster they come"... I sense an OnlyFans in Kevin's future.
“THE EARTH IS FLAT MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME.”
- Hair Dryer
I really want this quote on a t shirt
Ah yes, my hero: washin machine call me: the chicken sexer is finally back!!
I’m eagerly awaiting the sitcom: Washin Machine Call Me, the Chicken Sexer and Grognak the Destroyer, Attorney at Law. Rolls off the tongue!
I like how Kevin went from “no no babies” to “give me thousands of children”
"After you finish she asks you if you would like to read religious passages" IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT
You know, it's ironic that she wants to read religious passages. Usually religious people see it as a sin to have sex before marriage. XD
@False Sanity It is implied. If she really is religious, cheating would be a bigger sin than sex before marriage. XD
“This is depressing me, like he’s nine.”
Me, who got diagnosed at seven: don’t tell him, his heart couldn’t handle it
“Oh he’s a Scorpio like me!”
It all makes sense now
Damnnn!
I reacted exactly the same
I'm also a Scorpio...oh...nvm
Scorpio bois we out here
That dark yet hilarious sense of humor....he had to be one of us
‘Look at that, looks 93%!!!’
...sneakily avoids drawing attention to smarts at 37%...
I saw so many bitlife vids that I came to the beginning 💀
"becoming a youtuber is sort of a failure"
says the 2.17 million subscriber youtube channel
"Failure"? No, that doesn't make any sense in Kevin's case.
🤔 🤨
...Wait, I see some fun irony here.
😶
And Kevin doesn't even know!?
😂
*Points it out in comments*
Imagine telling your boyfriend you're pregnant and his response is: "Can you stop!?" xD
Just starts crying
Feetus deletus
Feel like she was cheating
At the second or third unplanned pregnancy, that is actually a sane and responsible response. Especially if the guy was using condoms, or she was claiming to be on the pill, and she still somehow got pregnant... for a third time. We have massive overpopulation with 8 billion humans on this planet. No-one needs or should be allowed to have three or more children.
@@TF2CrunchyFrog ok you're wrong on 2 of those things first of its 7.7 billion, second we arent over populated the earths carrying capacity is 9 or 10 billion
"I was diagnosed with depression and happiness is now 0"
Yeah. that's pretty much how it went
"I said that cause I'm wearing a batman T-shirt 🙂" -Kevin 2019
Ah yes, I once played Bitlife as Richard Nixon and got 400,000,000 years in Prison and broke my entire game.
Morale of the story, don't talk about Watergate.
Fair
Pretty solid
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions I see you a lot
So about that...
_I am not a crook._
I like to imagine that the news about the war is just being beamed into his head, and that is why he is depressed
Kevin: this is all working fantasti-
*YOU‘RE PREGNANT AGAIN??*
"The bunions I feel like were the turning point." 🤣
*Stop getting pregnant!*
-Call me Kevin, 2019
What's a Minecraft wood Block doing here?
Yeah Kevin, we definitely need more. You haven't even done any major crimes yet!
No one:
Kevin: MaSsAgE mY bUnYoNs
14:59, as a psych major I can honestly tell you Kevin!... you are absolutely right.
Day 227 of wishing Kevin a happy birthday everyday.
Happy birthday, Kevin.
day 796 of wishing the guy who wishes kevin a happy birthday everyday a happy borthday everyday.
Happy birthday, nikkiesona.
@@analysis726 Wow, I'm impressed.
I'm glad you guys are having a good day. I'm not.
Blue Spider hopefully it gets better
@@IamaPERSON Well, I don't think any of us said we were having a good day, but I hope yours gets better, friend.
Kevin should really look into the activities and relationships more when he's playing the game. Anyways I still love his game play 😂
he did,lmao. He bought like 100 lotto tickets
“I learned the louder I cry the faster they come”.
“I joked with my friends after I wet my self”.
13:09
Of Monaco’s 300 active soldiers, 30,000 were unfortunately killed to the Romanian oppressors who, somehow, got to Monaco
Nobody:
Kevin: your friend and cousin EYE SACK
10:04
Age 10: gets into a relationship
Age 11: gets married
“That is so Scorpio”
I mean... you’re not wrong
Doubly so if you're a Scorpio /dragon like my brother. He made a Jeffery Dahmer sim and tried to fill a 1,000x1,000 plot with graves. We only failed at 79 victims because the ghosts haunted Dahmer to death lmao...
"you have been accused of masterbating at work"
kevin: "oh that is so scorpio"
😂
Kevin: "You're pregnant again?!, what the hell?!"
Me: "this is why you need to stay single, Kevin"
"We can try another life"
If it were that easy
"Hair dryer has no levels it's just on or off" yes that's what hair dryers are like
*just started studying psychology*
Kevin: WHY WOULD YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING USELESS LIKE THAT
A game I recall playing that's reminding me of this, was Alter Ego. I loved that game.
Edit: Not even halfway through, and I'm dead. Thank you, Kevin.
Scarlet Bard Unfortunately there aren’t many people who check that one out anymore, but Jerma did not too long ago.
Great game, if not a bit dated.
Scarlet Bard just like me in bitlife
"This has been requested for quite a while actually, I just never got around to it" - isn't that Kevin all the time?
*I've been wondering how many people have actually had seizures watching "Stranger Things".*
Me, watching Kevin pick his college major: don’t pick dance. Don’t pick-
Kevin: DANCE
Seeing Kevin play this game was something I never knew I needed but now I need like 60 more videos pls n ty x