Zach's problem here is probably he was the first guy to take his job seriously at Polk in years. The sergeant just expected him to stamp and okay the tubes and leave on time. Probably why they didn't have the paperwork either
That was a thought that occurred to me as well. Problem is, Zach is actually responsible and doesn't want fellow soldiers to die because of something he did wrong.
@@tyrnriscards6238 It's the mentality in a lot of places not just the military, I work at a casino as a line cook and this casino has 5 restaurants, all 5 almost never pass health inspection and never pass the fire marshal inspection, the fire extinguishers, both hand ones and the ones that hang down over the equipment don't work and management's mentality is "when's the last time someone got sick or we had a fire"
@@stuff9680 I once had a coworker at a very popular drive thru cafe spill an entire frappe onto the counter, and he then proceeded to scoop the entire spilled drink back into the cup with his bare hands and say "it's fine!"
Pulling the not my emergency card and the I'm in the position of a warrant officer card one one person makes me so happy. I've worked retail, and I've done trades, and being able to go "I'm in charge, it's not happening how you want it" makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
That's one thing I love about working at a liquor store. If I refuse to process a sale, not one can overrule me. Not even my manager, because if there's a screw up, and someone who isn't supposed to have alcohol gets it, then its my name on the receipt, and I'm legally responsible.
I had a boss that thought every one of his self made problems was an emergency, he really didn't like me being honest and saying "why do you keep screwing it up? you know it slows us down" lets just say I was fired but my contract meant I got a months pay and overtime for every hour he conned me into working, (he didn't tell me I was fired until a week after he processed the paperwork, yet I kept working) meaning I got another weeks pay fully at an overtime rate
I once saw a F-15E pilot nearly light a chainsaw on fire by burning out the clutch. Dude was an AFA grad and a captain. The bar and chain were so hot, the oil was smoking off the bar. Damn near lit the bar oil on fire. Can fly a multi million fight bomber into combat, can also light a $750 saw on fire.
That's because chainsaw doesn't have enough of buttons and screens and analog instruments displaying what's going on with that thing. Also fact that chainsaw didn't state in prerecorded calm female voice what's wrong with it doesn't help...
I was the equivalent to security forces in my country's air force, we were trying to move a concrete barrier (to counter vehicle IEDs). My Squadron's XO and my flight chief asked one of the maintainer guys to come out with a forklift to move it. I was still new to unit and felt I could not speak out since this was planned by not only the flight chief of my security flight but our sibling flight and signed off by again a Captain. Plus I barely passed maths and physics in school, but a part of me went "why are they using a commercial forklift (the ones you see in a warehouse). To lift something that is meant to stop an impending vehicle weighted at least 6 tonnes and on uneven soil, not a paved surface?" True enough the maintainer and the forklift came in, tried Peter Grifinning the barrier only for it sink further into soil and get bogged. My flight chief and XO then wanted me to use our flight's patrol vehicle (its just a truck to carry 1 section to act as a quick reaction force to any armed incident and carrying supplies) to tow and winch out the forklift. In which I said "No" Which was within my rights as the driver and one responsible for the vehicle. I was firmly sure the our vehicle is not equipped with a winch and our tow bar is for other vehicles in the class. And our vehicles were so old, the engines still said "made in West Germany" on the engine block. It was likely the combine weight of the forklift and its new barrier add on, would've ripped the ass of the truck off. Both my XO and flight chief are highly educated and you know went through fancy command schools. The XO was also orginally a ground based air defense officer that was just doing a rotation to fulfill some criteria for promotion. Well one wonders why the chairforce is assumed to be the smartest when we all (including myself) not once stop this in motion.
Sorry for the tangent, your chainsaw story reminded me of this because there is this aura around pilots and ranks. They're good at flying and all associated activities( air superiority/close air support etc) but highly unlikely to be good at maintenance/ fire arms etc. In a pinch you can use them but their primary role is to preserve themselves, escape back to friendly lines and get into another plane.
Well life is probably easier as a mortarman when your armorer likes you. You kinda depend on your mortar being in good shape. Seems like a relationship you'd like to keep copecetic.
@@logicplague Oh for sure. The Army of the 90s compared to the Army of the 2000s are night and day differences. Not to mention back then compared to now. It's why I'm going into the Marines and not the Army.
Whoever was in charge of that mortar platoon failed as a leader and planner. We always tried to schedule our bore scopes at least 2 months ahead of time
It seems like every MOS is simultaneously the smartest and dumbest in the Army Every infantry NCO I've ever met: balances personal and military life perfectly and still makes time for self improvement/maintenance. And understands soldiers needs better than any other NCOs i've seen Also every infantry NCO: Tons of self-incriminating stories I'll probably have to take to the grave. Every MI soldier: mostly normal human being Also every MI: this one fucking thing you'll never be able to fathom why they do it, or why they started doing it
I can believe that. It seems to be consistent even outside of the US. Case in point, the average French soldier in 1940 was a complete badass. While the larger military was completely incompetent, the guys on the ground fought like demons. They also rendered a lot of their rifles inoperable by jamming the bayonet sleeves together in a way that meant they couldn't be pulled apart
@@filmandfirearms The first step of idiotproofing should always be "How easily can the client break this by pretending it's their penis and doing dumb shit"
My dad was in artillery while he was in the army. Your comment about them being simultaneously the smartest and the dumbest is really accurate. The guy knows a fair bit about a lot of things, but thought the his headphones weren't compatible with his new phone BECAUSE HE WASNT PUSHING THE JACK IN HARD ENOUGH TO CLICK IN, SO IT'D JUST FALL OUT.
there was probably shmutz already in the port too. pocket lint clocks all the connectors and they fall out. I "fixed" a lot of these in the farm, mainly charger ports thogh, couple headphone ports. I have one of these cables that must be pushed harder and one of those which always fall out. from the same phone
@@mechadrake at least that’s an easy fix. A sewing needle and about five minutes and you got the lint out, depending on which connector your working at.
@@joshuahadams i hope I will not be working on micro usb anymore. just refused one repair with ripper out internals, lol. It is tiny and hard to clean. And i do not want to order parst for the phones,ugh
I always love listening to Zach's stories while he plays SnowRunner, It's like watching show about a trucker reflecting on his days in the military and we're listening to his inner monologue. I guess this isn't too far off LOL
@@TheSeventhDeadlyMatador An old Russian TV series. It's honestly great, but you won't find even English subs anywhere (believe me, I tried, wanting to introduce an Aussie friend of mine to it)
@@TheSeventhDeadlyMatador I am guessing you skipped "learn" there :D. Also, ironically, that Aussie friend I mentioned - we met because she was taking Russian classes from me
I have to imagine every Marine in my Weapons Company would have a conniption fit towards the NCO in Zach's story,because i had one just now after hearing it lols.
Mortar teams: Can do complex ballistic calculations on the fly. Doesn't know you're supposed to clean your shit. Reminds me of certain folks you can find in abundance in the seedier parts of the internet.
I imagine it's like the difference between prep cooks, line cooks and chefs. Effectively they lost all the prep folk and no one understood who was or why they were doing maintenance or organizational stuff until everything broke. Think "why should I need to know how to maintain my gun that's what your for. Now I need to go get ready to run acrossed the battlefield shooting people for our homeland or something."
Reminds me of an experience I had with lead paint inspection. They didn’t give me info I needed to know so I waited ninety minutes, and after that they told me another two hours and I said no your going to have to reschedule.
Imagine if this mortar guy had like appeared early in the morning with his stuff instead like right during closing hours. MAYBE there'd be more accomodating approach.
@bigpenny3509 staggered would probably be worse. Ideally, just bring the job like a week in advance so it can be done between other work without a massive rush.
Feels like if Zach had gotten to... I don't wanna say "If he had gotten to literally any other Fort other than Fort Polk, he would have dealt with less shit" because I don't know how Forts in the US work but I feel like if he was in a better one he'd get more respect and gotten at least to the rank of sergeant because the dude had to basically carry the idiots at Fort Polk all on his own, especially idiots that somehow outrank him
In another story, it was army payroll nonsense. They had too many sergeant in his speciality and they were absolutely not making any more no matter how good he was at his job.
2 hours to clean the mortars, more than an hour to gauge the mortar barrel AND create new documents. That's at least 11 hours, probably closer to 14 for the job in total. Started at about 5pm if we account for the SGT whining to command about his feelings being hurt, and they'd be finished at least 5am, if not 7 or 8am. When was that range supposed to be, cause I'm betting they still missed it. And probably tried to shove you under the bus for the whole thing for "not working fast enough". Doomed from the start, and it's the job of everyone in a supervisory position to push the blame on as many people other than themselves as possible. I really dodged a bullet by failing out of boot, in more ways than one.
The sad thing is, i have a desk job and it's the exact same shit. I try to give all the teams I cooperate with advance warning of incoming requests. But the very microsecond that one of them says it'll take a little longer to do, my management jumps up their ass demanding more support. All because managers want to cover their own ass in case a deadline-which-isn't-really-a-deadline is missed.
I dunno where it sits now, but when I was in Mortar Crewman's MOS was 11C. (Indirect Fire Infantry). You are absolutely right about mortar men being simultaneously the smartest and dumbest people in the Army, I can attest from firsthand experience.
Watching this while doing dishes as a 74 series in SK. Non specialty units will never comprehend specialty MOSs. When I tell people who are higher ranks than me 'no I am the subject matter expert, and the primary hand receipt holder for that piece of equipment dont do that' they always get their panties in a twist
To quote a former coworker."Customer service is just above my three tours in the middle-east and just below Fort Polk for the worst experiences in my life"
“I said biiitch” is an accurate skit to illustrate how I am with people. You really should be able to put your foot down for failure to follow protocol and putting your position at risk no matter your rank. That behavior is what allows soldiers to not follow orders when the order is abhorrently unorthodox.
That must be some heavy duty paper if it keeps the mortar from blowing up on its own... I kinda figured it just told you when to stop putting live rounds through it if you didn't want shrapnel body-mods installed.
The pullover gauge is no longer authorized gauge for mortar evaluation. We now use what it's called the dial bore gauge, it can measure the internal diameter of a tube down to the thousandth of an inch. The pullover gauge is still authorized for the 105 and 155 mm howitzers, however, ideally you would just get different length probes for your dial bore gauge. Additionally, we don't use the old M3 boriscope anymore, I still have it just in case, but the primary borescope is now a LED lit digital camera. One of the higher-end models actually has a laser rangefinder incorporated onto it, which makes measuring the depth of pits on the 120 mm very easy. Lastly, if anyone else is ever put the mortar gauging situation, the Maintenance Allocation Time Chart in the 23&P is your friend. The MAC indicates that each annual gauging is a 4-hour task, so I'm not going to have time to do your eight mortars before tomorrow. 120 mil mortar is a 8-hour plus task, because you have to measure the depth of pits as well. If you don't have the rangefinder gauge, you have to make a plaster casting of the inside of the mortar to measure the depth of a pit (Yes, this is actually a process described in the TM).
Bruh I got friends who are willingly going into the military and my god they are gonna be the idiotic subjects of these stories for anyone unlucky enough to be near them.
Funny story: my first car didnt have a working odometer or speedometer so the seller guessed on how many miles were on it. It was a 96 neon. Paid 800 and died after a year
Zach, you don't know how funny this is to me. My younger brother is actually in the national guard. Said brother is a straight A student(as most of us were)and is very smart but occasionally his brain becomes "squirrel!". He is artillery 😆
It’s amazing how a lot of people let rank go to there head. The guy you’re getting pissy with fixes your weapons and keeps them from blowing up so best not to piss them off regardless of if you outrank them or not
HAHA my Grandfather whom I am named after was a Captain in the Royal Artillery in WWII, he was supposed to be part of the Dieppe Raid but broke his leg after wiping out on his army motorcycle and falling into a ditch. If it wasn't for that blunder my mother probably would never have been born. UBIQUE QUO FAS ET GLORIA DUCUNT!
I've been listening to zachs stories while playing snowrunner for years now and now he's playing snowrunner while telling stories that I'm listening to while playing snowrunner
I work in BN S2 and 99% of the time, it’s position over rank. We’ve had to write up counselings for E6s and 2LTs for failing to do things for their clearance, and if they give us attitude or try to cause a scene, we just find things to make the process annoying for them
I’m a mortarman lol. Honestly my platoons have always kept up with mortar servicing on time or at least a week or two before we need it. Never once have I had this issue and when we do send it in as long as it’s back in a few days the psgs never cared. Also who tf sends it in that late mortars are literally known to sham we usually leave work by 1500 at the latest
This was the heady days of 2006, when LITERALLY ANYONE could join. And people could be promoted for even less. Everything was pushed off until the last minute, and problems were blamed on the first person who said “no.” What a time to be enlisted lol
As someone who usually talks more than listens I honestly have no idea why but I could listen to Zach talk about the military for hours xD the way you have with stories is funny asf and I really enjoy listening.
Just being an RSO for 6 months, I ended up with multiple stories that made me go "How in the holy everloving fuck did you manage to do that", so I can only imagine what you went through in the military. Case in point, I once saw an AK without a retainer. The retainer holds both the trigger and hammer pins in place. I didn't realize this until the guy had already fired about a mag and a half, because he was the only guy on the line and I asked if I could put a few rounds through it. Bottom line is, never buy a gun from Century Arms. I love AKs more than anything, but I will never let anyone touch a Century. If someone gave me one for free, I'd think it was an assassination attempt
>they are capable of insanely difficult ballistic calculations, but are incapable of understanding you have to clean your weapon Ah yes. the age old 'intelligence vs wisdom' debate :P
What you do in this situation is accept the task and let the guy know to come back in the morning to pick them up and then make it look like you did some inspections on the mortars and then leave, wake up early and let the guy know his mortars are fucked and unusable
That NCO should have known his weapon system needed to be cleaned and that he needed to bring the armament personnel all the info he could get he was just lazy and didn't want to do his job source iwas a tanker for 5 yrs and I gave all the info I had every time
Paraphrased from the Well Theres Your Problem episode on Y2K: 'what is a computer? Well, how do you get the dumbest people you know, artillerymen, to do really complex math?'
its one of those things where if you sass the armory, where are you gonna get your weapons xD im sure they loathed talking to zach because they had to actually have their shit together to not be yelled at
Public service tech support, never had a situation quite that bad but if I did I'd ask for their request in writing with all the agreed upon details (how late it is, how long it's going to take, their loss of their round count cards) and a polite explanation that I will be escalating this to their superior and if they don't take it seriously I will escalate it further. This isn't an idle threat, even if they don't care and the next three up the chain don't care when it hits the desk of someone who is actually important there will be hell to pay because very important people have very important problems and they get very mad when something they consider beneath them ends up on their desk.
So... I was originally 74B10. Information System Operator/Analyst. Basically, computers with a focus on network engineering. 74G was focused on Satalite networking. 74C was focused on telephony networking. Then the great reclass of '04. All 74 series merged and designated 25B. Later they had to make a new 25Q for satellites again, but since telephones went VoIP we kept that. Mind you, we were all reclassed, but never retrained. And 74Cs and 74Gs weren't super common. I was kinda lucky since I worked with 2 74Cs my first assignment and i basically got the 25Q training before I messed with the satellites.
Off topic but Snowrunner might be one of the last games I expected to see Zach play. It's pleasantly surprising seeing how many streamers and small channels are picking it up out of seemingly nowhere.
I would just go "yep I'll take them", then go to bed at the regular closing time and not tell them how long the job will take, after getting the round count cards.
so if you're using a mortar in the field do you update the round count card for that mortar after each shell, or do you have some guy count the missing ammo in the box and tally it off after the fact?
The problem with missuse and abuse if equipment in ANY job seems to stem from the line of thought that "I just use the stuff, it's not my job to fix it/maintain it" Even in jobs that require you to maintain things, if you use any other equipment that isn't yours or is maintained by another group the attitude crops up. As a personal example; I work on aircraft. We have specialized equipment to perform our job called Support Equipment (SE). Getting maintenance personnel to stay qualified in it's use and to do proper pre-operational checks as well as basic safety and use practices is pulling teeth.
I wonder if there are similar stories in the UK military. I do know that in the RAF you can't go from working days to nights (between 2100 and 0600) without 24 hours of stand down. I'll have to ask what the case is for The Army and Royal Navy.
6:35 yeah that checks out ive had guys know every thing there is to know about the m777 but ive also had guys lick the neon orange cancer grease off grease points on the gun.
My boss (or at least my former boss) would always come to me at 5pm (I'm supposed to finish at 4pm) and ask, oh could you fix all these things, this person needs to go early, oh also make sure you do your job, (I fix nailguns) several times I would be working until 9pm, so a 14 hour ish day, and he would then complain that I got slower and slower as I was getting more and more burnt out, which when I talked to him about I got told"well that isn't a company issue and you need to figure that out yourself" when finishing at like 7-9pm starting at 7am and if I'm even 5 mins late to work my boss gets annoyed at me Well my random rant over
If you ever want some prospective from the other side on 11C Mortars at Ft. Polk from 2006-2007 I can let you in on the intelligence mystery of the infamous 2/30 Wild Boars and what was happening at the Bat and Company level.
"Members of mortar and artillery are simultaneously the dumbest and smartest people in the U.S. military." The most common saying in the Finnish Defence Force infantry is "You're allowed to be stupid, but not an artilleryman". The stereotype persists outside of the U.S. forces. I knew a rapid deployment arty guy who took offense to the saying, and responded to me with "All infantry has to know is that shit floats on water and you can't push with a rope.".
Shit like this story is why I never re-upped. Bullshit like this happened all the time in my units, and yet the Army wonders why it's reenlistment and recruiting numbers are cratering.
So they wanted a entire long day of work when you were at most 30 minutes to closing. Yeah, heck that noise. Especially if they missed doing this for two years and didn't have the paperwork.
another reason Zach should've turned them away is because they didn't properly set up appointments and failed to bring the proper equipment to have the mortars inspected. my armament shop has been having this same problem with an MP unit that's run by idiots and crybabies
I'm not fully versed or clear on military terminology and structure, but does Zach holding a Warrant Officer position mean that he was unofficially brevetted to that rank?
That sergeant was an asshole and should've been referred to literally any Sergeant Major nearby to see if that CSM would agree that their lack of preparation necessitated you staying there into the early hours of the morning to fix their fuck-up. Because any Sergeant Major I've ever known would've put his ass in check in a heartbeat.
Zach's problem here is probably he was the first guy to take his job seriously at Polk in years. The sergeant just expected him to stamp and okay the tubes and leave on time. Probably why they didn't have the paperwork either
That was a thought that occurred to me as well. Problem is, Zach is actually responsible and doesn't want fellow soldiers to die because of something he did wrong.
@@markbunst5961 "aAh, iT'lL bE aLrIgHt!"
- 95% of the general population
It terrifies me that this was something people would be okay with.
@@tyrnriscards6238 It's the mentality in a lot of places not just the military, I work at a casino as a line cook and this casino has 5 restaurants, all 5 almost never pass health inspection and never pass the fire marshal inspection, the fire extinguishers, both hand ones and the ones that hang down over the equipment don't work and management's mentality is "when's the last time someone got sick or we had a fire"
@@stuff9680 I once had a coworker at a very popular drive thru cafe spill an entire frappe onto the counter, and he then proceeded to scoop the entire spilled drink back into the cup with his bare hands and say "it's fine!"
Pulling the not my emergency card and the I'm in the position of a warrant officer card one one person makes me so happy. I've worked retail, and I've done trades, and being able to go "I'm in charge, it's not happening how you want it" makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
That's one thing I love about working at a liquor store. If I refuse to process a sale, not one can overrule me. Not even my manager, because if there's a screw up, and someone who isn't supposed to have alcohol gets it, then its my name on the receipt, and I'm legally responsible.
I had a boss that thought every one of his self made problems was an emergency, he really didn't like me being honest and saying "why do you keep screwing it up? you know it slows us down" lets just say I was fired but my contract meant I got a months pay and overtime for every hour he conned me into working, (he didn't tell me I was fired until a week after he processed the paperwork, yet I kept working) meaning I got another weeks pay fully at an overtime rate
I once saw a F-15E pilot nearly light a chainsaw on fire by burning out the clutch. Dude was an AFA grad and a captain. The bar and chain were so hot, the oil was smoking off the bar. Damn near lit the bar oil on fire.
Can fly a multi million fight bomber into combat, can also light a $750 saw on fire.
That's because chainsaw doesn't have enough of buttons and screens and analog instruments displaying what's going on with that thing. Also fact that chainsaw didn't state in prerecorded calm female voice what's wrong with it doesn't help...
@@depressedTrent that makes so much sense. Thank you for the epiphany.
I was the equivalent to security forces in my country's air force, we were trying to move a concrete barrier (to counter vehicle IEDs). My Squadron's XO and my flight chief asked one of the maintainer guys to come out with a forklift to move it. I was still new to unit and felt I could not speak out since this was planned by not only the flight chief of my security flight but our sibling flight and signed off by again a Captain.
Plus I barely passed maths and physics in school, but a part of me went "why are they using a commercial forklift (the ones you see in a warehouse). To lift something that is meant to stop an impending vehicle weighted at least 6 tonnes and on uneven soil, not a paved surface?"
True enough the maintainer and the forklift came in, tried Peter Grifinning the barrier only for it sink further into soil and get bogged.
My flight chief and XO then wanted me to use our flight's patrol vehicle (its just a truck to carry 1 section to act as a quick reaction force to any armed incident and carrying supplies) to tow and winch out the forklift. In which I said "No" Which was within my rights as the driver and one responsible for the vehicle. I was firmly sure the our vehicle is not equipped with a winch and our tow bar is for other vehicles in the class.
And our vehicles were so old, the engines still said "made in West Germany" on the engine block. It was likely the combine weight of the forklift and its new barrier add on, would've ripped the ass of the truck off.
Both my XO and flight chief are highly educated and you know went through fancy command schools. The XO was also orginally a ground based air defense officer that was just doing a rotation to fulfill some criteria for promotion.
Well one wonders why the chairforce is assumed to be the smartest when we all (including myself) not once stop this in motion.
Sorry for the tangent, your chainsaw story reminded me of this because there is this aura around pilots and ranks. They're good at flying and all associated activities( air superiority/close air support etc) but highly unlikely to be good at maintenance/ fire arms etc. In a pinch you can use them but their primary role is to preserve themselves, escape back to friendly lines and get into another plane.
flaming chainsaw
Expectations: US military is the strongest military
Reality: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU USE THE WRONG LUBE ON THIS GRENADE LAUNCHER!?
Accurate as fuck.
Fun fact the nickname of the lube for the mk19 is called whale jizz. Cuz it looks like ejaculate.
CLP wOrKs On EvErYtHiNg
@@veracious8205 except when it sets it on fire
@@technodude458 yeah. But they also said "don't eat the fucking crayons" and that happened anyways too
My dad was a mortarman in the Army, and he and his squad actually did what they were supposed to. Cleaned it, kept their cards, everything.
Well life is probably easier as a mortarman when your armorer likes you. You kinda depend on your mortar being in good shape. Seems like a relationship you'd like to keep copecetic.
@@matthewblackwood9653 fuck yeah it is.
You gotta think about the generation gap.
@@logicplague Oh for sure. The Army of the 90s compared to the Army of the 2000s are night and day differences. Not to mention back then compared to now. It's why I'm going into the Marines and not the Army.
@@andrewbunner3591 enjoy hating your life. Go air force or reserves
Today I learned you gauge mortars, just kinda assumed they were tubes
Well, they ARE, mechanically. It just got "funny" if that tube is deformed or damaged - you are throwing explosive inside, after all.
Yes, but the tubes wear down and warp over time. They will explode if they get to worn out.
T O O B
@@enlistedlife4881 and sadly even seen photo now from Ukraine with banana'd 777
sometimes they are egg-tubes, which is bad
Whoever was in charge of that mortar platoon failed as a leader and planner. We always tried to schedule our bore scopes at least 2 months ahead of time
It seems like every MOS is simultaneously the smartest and dumbest in the Army
Every infantry NCO I've ever met: balances personal and military life perfectly and still makes time for self improvement/maintenance. And understands soldiers needs better than any other NCOs i've seen
Also every infantry NCO: Tons of self-incriminating stories I'll probably have to take to the grave.
Every MI soldier: mostly normal human being
Also every MI: this one fucking thing you'll never be able to fathom why they do it, or why they started doing it
I can believe that. It seems to be consistent even outside of the US. Case in point, the average French soldier in 1940 was a complete badass. While the larger military was completely incompetent, the guys on the ground fought like demons. They also rendered a lot of their rifles inoperable by jamming the bayonet sleeves together in a way that meant they couldn't be pulled apart
Shit i dont know what unit you were in. Mine were fucking retarded.
@@filmandfirearms The first step of idiotproofing should always be "How easily can the client break this by pretending it's their penis and doing dumb shit"
@@filmandfirearms Ha I remember that Forgotten Weapons episode. Regardless of country, if there's a Grunt there's a way.
*pukes in waffle stomp*
My dad was in artillery while he was in the army. Your comment about them being simultaneously the smartest and the dumbest is really accurate.
The guy knows a fair bit about a lot of things, but thought the his headphones weren't compatible with his new phone BECAUSE HE WASNT PUSHING THE JACK IN HARD ENOUGH TO CLICK IN, SO IT'D JUST FALL OUT.
there was probably shmutz already in the port too. pocket lint clocks all the connectors and they fall out. I "fixed" a lot of these in the farm, mainly charger ports thogh, couple headphone ports.
I have one of these cables that must be pushed harder and one of those which always fall out. from the same phone
@@mechadrake no this was a brand new phone
@@mechadrake at least that’s an easy fix. A sewing needle and about five minutes and you got the lint out, depending on which connector your working at.
@@joshuahadams i hope I will not be working on micro usb anymore. just refused one repair with ripper out internals, lol. It is tiny and hard to clean. And i do not want to order parst for the phones,ugh
The worst part is I guarantee you your dad had a walkman back in the day using the exact same kind of port
I always love listening to Zach's stories while he plays SnowRunner, It's like watching show about a trucker reflecting on his days in the military and we're listening to his inner monologue. I guess this isn't too far off LOL
It's like the "Truckers" series, only with far less action and much more chill
@@A_Dragovich There's a show like that? I'll have to look into it now.
@@TheSeventhDeadlyMatador An old Russian TV series. It's honestly great, but you won't find even English subs anywhere (believe me, I tried, wanting to introduce an Aussie friend of mine to it)
@@A_Dragovich Damn, well time to Russian I guess (LOL I wish)
@@TheSeventhDeadlyMatador I am guessing you skipped "learn" there :D. Also, ironically, that Aussie friend I mentioned - we met because she was taking Russian classes from me
I have to imagine every Marine in my Weapons Company would have a conniption fit towards the NCO in Zach's story,because i had one just now after hearing it lols.
Mortar teams: Can do complex ballistic calculations on the fly. Doesn't know you're supposed to clean your shit.
Reminds me of certain folks you can find in abundance in the seedier parts of the internet.
same gamers that can win excel in space against thousands of opponents but never clean their room.
Just in army role :D
@@mechadrake As someone who used to be one of those nerds,
Yeah I got nothing.
Reminds me of my grandfather. Great electrical engineer, but has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old.
I imagine it's like the difference between prep cooks, line cooks and chefs. Effectively they lost all the prep folk and no one understood who was or why they were doing maintenance or organizational stuff until everything broke.
Think "why should I need to know how to maintain my gun that's what your for. Now I need to go get ready to run acrossed the battlefield shooting people for our homeland or something."
Reminds me of an experience I had with lead paint inspection. They didn’t give me info I needed to know so I waited ninety minutes, and after that they told me another two hours and I said no your going to have to reschedule.
Imagine if this mortar guy had like appeared early in the morning with his stuff instead like right during closing hours. MAYBE there'd be more accomodating approach.
Even more so if he staggered like 3 a day over 3 days
@bigpenny3509 staggered would probably be worse. Ideally, just bring the job like a week in advance so it can be done between other work without a massive rush.
“Mortar and artillery are simultaneously the smartest and dumbest people in the US Military”
Navy nukes: “allow us to introduce ourselves”
My understanding is that they're just a little special from long stretches of little to no human contact
Feels like if Zach had gotten to... I don't wanna say "If he had gotten to literally any other Fort other than Fort Polk, he would have dealt with less shit" because I don't know how Forts in the US work but I feel like if he was in a better one he'd get more respect and gotten at least to the rank of sergeant because the dude had to basically carry the idiots at Fort Polk all on his own, especially idiots that somehow outrank him
i mean, it's Louisiana, so yes literally anywhere would've been better
well, outranking things would have been temp thing, but he did not want subordinates and even more work :)
In another story, it was army payroll nonsense. They had too many sergeant in his speciality and they were absolutely not making any more no matter how good he was at his job.
@@MrNoobed well that was for another kinda promotion, that was automatic. They tried to promote him laterally or some such.
I honestly believe if I had been sent anywhere but fort Polk, I may have actually stayed in the army.
2 hours to clean the mortars, more than an hour to gauge the mortar barrel AND create new documents. That's at least 11 hours, probably closer to 14 for the job in total. Started at about 5pm if we account for the SGT whining to command about his feelings being hurt, and they'd be finished at least 5am, if not 7 or 8am. When was that range supposed to be, cause I'm betting they still missed it. And probably tried to shove you under the bus for the whole thing for "not working fast enough". Doomed from the start, and it's the job of everyone in a supervisory position to push the blame on as many people other than themselves as possible. I really dodged a bullet by failing out of boot, in more ways than one.
Military isn't worth a fuck unless your an officer or you're working a desk job in the airforce. Other than that it's a fucking headache
The sad thing is, i have a desk job and it's the exact same shit. I try to give all the teams I cooperate with advance warning of incoming requests. But the very microsecond that one of them says it'll take a little longer to do, my management jumps up their ass demanding more support. All because managers want to cover their own ass in case a deadline-which-isn't-really-a-deadline is missed.
So a mortarman is just the Army's Goku - all the brain power goes to fighting, and nothing else.
I dunno where it sits now, but when I was in Mortar Crewman's MOS was 11C. (Indirect Fire Infantry). You are absolutely right about mortar men being simultaneously the smartest and dumbest people in the Army, I can attest from firsthand experience.
As an 11c myself, I can definitely second this, it's odd but entertaining
Watching this while doing dishes as a 74 series in SK. Non specialty units will never comprehend specialty MOSs. When I tell people who are higher ranks than me 'no I am the subject matter expert, and the primary hand receipt holder for that piece of equipment dont do that' they always get their panties in a twist
Oh Zach, helping me not miss my time in.
I was a Radio Operator and had to deal with similar fuckery, so I feel ya.
To quote a former coworker."Customer service is just above my three tours in the middle-east and just below Fort Polk for the worst experiences in my life"
“I said biiitch” is an accurate skit to illustrate how I am with people. You really should be able to put your foot down for failure to follow protocol and putting your position at risk no matter your rank. That behavior is what allows soldiers to not follow orders when the order is abhorrently unorthodox.
That must be some heavy duty paper if it keeps the mortar from blowing up on its own... I kinda figured it just told you when to stop putting live rounds through it if you didn't want shrapnel body-mods installed.
The pullover gauge is no longer authorized gauge for mortar evaluation. We now use what it's called the dial bore gauge, it can measure the internal diameter of a tube down to the thousandth of an inch. The pullover gauge is still authorized for the 105 and 155 mm howitzers, however, ideally you would just get different length probes for your dial bore gauge.
Additionally, we don't use the old M3 boriscope anymore, I still have it just in case, but the primary borescope is now a LED lit digital camera. One of the higher-end models actually has a laser rangefinder incorporated onto it, which makes measuring the depth of pits on the 120 mm very easy.
Lastly, if anyone else is ever put the mortar gauging situation, the Maintenance Allocation Time Chart in the 23&P is your friend. The MAC indicates that each annual gauging is a 4-hour task, so I'm not going to have time to do your eight mortars before tomorrow. 120 mil mortar is a 8-hour plus task, because you have to measure the depth of pits as well. If you don't have the rangefinder gauge, you have to make a plaster casting of the inside of the mortar to measure the depth of a pit (Yes, this is actually a process described in the TM).
With every story you tell us is making me rethink my future choices.
Bruh I got friends who are willingly going into the military and my god they are gonna be the idiotic subjects of these stories for anyone unlucky enough to be near them.
You make small arms repair sound so bad but here I am still looking for the opportunity to reclass to it😂😂
it's a Fort Polk thing and not really a Small arms thing.
every job has its crap customers. this also applies to the military
It’s actually pretty sweet, honestly. You deal with morons in any job.
Just avoid fort Polk and it wont be *that terrible
You can always tell when the story's a good one when it begins with... "When I was in the Military,"
Y'know it just occurred to me that Zach probably has pretty good memory. At least for events that piss him off.
I bet this happened at Fort Polk and that's why this pisses him off so much 🤣
Funny story: my first car didnt have a working odometer or speedometer so the seller guessed on how many miles were on it. It was a 96 neon. Paid 800 and died after a year
Zach, you don't know how funny this is to me. My younger brother is actually in the national guard. Said brother is a straight A student(as most of us were)and is very smart but occasionally his brain becomes "squirrel!". He is artillery 😆
It’s amazing how a lot of people let rank go to there head. The guy you’re getting pissy with fixes your weapons and keeps them from blowing up so best not to piss them off regardless of if you outrank them or not
HAHA my Grandfather whom I am named after was a Captain in the Royal Artillery in WWII, he was supposed to be part of the Dieppe Raid but broke his leg after wiping out on his army motorcycle and falling into a ditch. If it wasn't for that blunder my mother probably would never have been born.
UBIQUE QUO FAS ET GLORIA DUCUNT!
that's called educated ignorance zach. most high school / collage students suffer that for the fist few months to years after they graduate.
I believe its also called the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
I've been listening to zachs stories while playing snowrunner for years now and now he's playing snowrunner while telling stories that I'm listening to while playing snowrunner
I work in BN S2 and 99% of the time, it’s position over rank. We’ve had to write up counselings for E6s and 2LTs for failing to do things for their clearance, and if they give us attitude or try to cause a scene, we just find things to make the process annoying for them
"How didn't they know that mortars need to be cleaned?"
"BECAUSE THEY WERE MEMBERS OF A MORTAR TEAM!"
I’m a mortarman lol. Honestly my platoons have always kept up with mortar servicing on time or at least a week or two before we need it. Never once have I had this issue and when we do send it in as long as it’s back in a few days the psgs never cared.
Also who tf sends it in that late mortars are literally known to sham we usually leave work by 1500 at the latest
This was the heady days of 2006, when LITERALLY ANYONE could join. And people could be promoted for even less. Everything was pushed off until the last minute, and problems were blamed on the first person who said “no.” What a time to be enlisted lol
As someone who usually talks more than listens I honestly have no idea why but I could listen to Zach talk about the military for hours xD the way you have with stories is funny asf and I really enjoy listening.
And here I thought it would've been the Commanding Officer who called you Highspeed and stole your Cabinets.
Just being an RSO for 6 months, I ended up with multiple stories that made me go "How in the holy everloving fuck did you manage to do that", so I can only imagine what you went through in the military. Case in point, I once saw an AK without a retainer. The retainer holds both the trigger and hammer pins in place. I didn't realize this until the guy had already fired about a mag and a half, because he was the only guy on the line and I asked if I could put a few rounds through it. Bottom line is, never buy a gun from Century Arms. I love AKs more than anything, but I will never let anyone touch a Century. If someone gave me one for free, I'd think it was an assassination attempt
Man I love snowrunner and Zach talking about army shit while playing makes it even better
>they are capable of insanely difficult ballistic calculations, but are incapable of understanding you have to clean your weapon
Ah yes. the age old 'intelligence vs wisdom' debate :P
Unfortunately the smartest people are often the most naive
The fact that it didn't take him time to think of whom was the closest
Zach is my second favorite furry vtuber.
What you do in this situation is accept the task and let the guy know to come back in the morning to pick them up and then make it look like you did some inspections on the mortars and then leave, wake up early and let the guy know his mortars are fucked and unusable
The mileage gauge is called an Odometer.
Old axiom around here says, "It's ok to be dumb but not an artilleryman."
Oh I can't wait to see this story animated
9:00PM "Mom I need glue and construction paper for my project due tomorrow"
Recruiter: you could work 1 day a month or 30 days a month and you'll still get paid the same.
Command: "yOu'Re a SoLdIeR tWeNtY FoUr sEvEn!"
That NCO should have known his weapon system needed to be cleaned and that he needed to bring the armament personnel all the info he could get he was just lazy and didn't want to do his job source iwas a tanker for 5 yrs and I gave all the info I had every time
I wonder if this an example of American work culture meeting (American) military culture and if it'd be different in other countries.
Ah yes, mortar, my favorite small arm
My dumbass read gauge, heard headspace. First thought, how the fu…I’m an idiot
Infantry: if I don’t clean my weapon, I’m gonna get crucified by my CO.
Mortar team: what’s this cleaning you speak of?
This made me absolutely furious
Zach has the best stories
So how many rounds of your typical artillery can go thru one mortar system before you'd need to service it?
Depends on the system. I'd have to find my notes, but I think both types of tube get permanently deadlined at around 5000 rounds.
Paraphrased from the Well Theres Your Problem episode on Y2K: 'what is a computer? Well, how do you get the dumbest people you know, artillerymen, to do really complex math?'
Here, Zach demonstrates the difference between having rank and having authority
its one of those things where if you sass the armory, where are you gonna get your weapons xD
im sure they loathed talking to zach because they had to actually have their shit together to not be yelled at
Public service tech support, never had a situation quite that bad but if I did I'd ask for their request in writing with all the agreed upon details (how late it is, how long it's going to take, their loss of their round count cards) and a polite explanation that I will be escalating this to their superior and if they don't take it seriously I will escalate it further. This isn't an idle threat, even if they don't care and the next three up the chain don't care when it hits the desk of someone who is actually important there will be hell to pay because very important people have very important problems and they get very mad when something they consider beneath them ends up on their desk.
That's a lot of shade you trew my way Zack god damn also 11c(mortar men) are still infantry
So... I was originally 74B10. Information System Operator/Analyst. Basically, computers with a focus on network engineering. 74G was focused on Satalite networking. 74C was focused on telephony networking.
Then the great reclass of '04. All 74 series merged and designated 25B. Later they had to make a new 25Q for satellites again, but since telephones went VoIP we kept that.
Mind you, we were all reclassed, but never retrained. And 74Cs and 74Gs weren't super common. I was kinda lucky since I worked with 2 74Cs my first assignment and i basically got the 25Q training before I messed with the satellites.
Maybe he heard about the favor you did for the 509th and figured he'd get a last-minute gauge-job done, too.
Hard workers are usually congratulated with more work.
Treasure Panda as a Mortar Fire Controller
Being intelligent does not inherently mean they are wise
Should have just declared every tube fucked and told them to put in for new ones.
The Mortar Team Paradox.
Something tells me Zach could've done the military a service by just rubberstamping the equipment and letting ol' Fort Stooge crater itself.
Off topic but Snowrunner might be one of the last games I expected to see Zach play. It's pleasantly surprising seeing how many streamers and small channels are picking it up out of seemingly nowhere.
I would just go "yep I'll take them", then go to bed at the regular closing time and not tell them how long the job will take, after getting the round count cards.
so if you're using a mortar in the field do you update the round count card for that mortar after each shell, or do you have some guy count the missing ammo in the box and tally it off after the fact?
The problem with missuse and abuse if equipment in ANY job seems to stem from the line of thought that "I just use the stuff, it's not my job to fix it/maintain it"
Even in jobs that require you to maintain things, if you use any other equipment that isn't yours or is maintained by another group the attitude crops up.
As a personal example; I work on aircraft. We have specialized equipment to perform our job called Support Equipment (SE). Getting maintenance personnel to stay qualified in it's use and to do proper pre-operational checks as well as basic safety and use practices is pulling teeth.
I wonder if there are similar stories in the UK military. I do know that in the RAF you can't go from working days to nights (between 2100 and 0600) without 24 hours of stand down. I'll have to ask what the case is for The Army and Royal Navy.
More Zach's Zach story!
6:35 yeah that checks out ive had guys know every thing there is to know about the m777 but ive also had guys lick the neon orange cancer grease off grease points on the gun.
My boss (or at least my former boss) would always come to me at 5pm (I'm supposed to finish at 4pm) and ask, oh could you fix all these things, this person needs to go early, oh also make sure you do your job, (I fix nailguns) several times I would be working until 9pm, so a 14 hour ish day, and he would then complain that I got slower and slower as I was getting more and more burnt out, which when I talked to him about I got told"well that isn't a company issue and you need to figure that out yourself" when finishing at like 7-9pm starting at 7am and if I'm even 5 mins late to work my boss gets annoyed at me
Well my random rant over
The person who asked the initial question is my little brother. :D
You should try standup with military themed material, I think a lot of people might like it, with your particular brand of anger
*800 billion dollar defense budget*
*not enough money to train artillery and small arms seperately*
Incredible History
Amazing insight to Mil logistics Vibery
Wonderful Comedy
Really Sad Inefficiency
I keep thinking that a Bradley is like a Bushmaster
Nott sure how I missed this.
Gotta love it. You want me to potentially save your life by finding cracks in your tube but don't want to clean it so i can see.
From descriptions of 91 Bravo I'd love to see some uploads of stories that involve the crackhead mechanics if you got any lmao.
If you ever want some prospective from the other side on 11C Mortars at Ft. Polk from 2006-2007 I can let you in on the intelligence mystery of the infamous 2/30 Wild Boars and what was happening at the Bat and Company level.
There is a saying in the finnish army:
You can be stupid but not an artilleryman
"Members of mortar and artillery are simultaneously the dumbest and smartest people in the U.S. military."
The most common saying in the Finnish Defence Force infantry is "You're allowed to be stupid, but not an artilleryman". The stereotype persists outside of the U.S. forces.
I knew a rapid deployment arty guy who took offense to the saying, and responded to me with "All infantry has to know is that shit floats on water and you can't push with a rope.".
This sargeant sounds like a bit of a smoothbrain to me 😆
My question is, How big are these mortars? I would imagine it would require someone other than a small arms repairman.
120mm. Not exactly a pea shooter.
I'm guessing "small arms" in this case is more "man-portable weapon" than "weapon usable by one man"
@@Majima_Nowhere And this is the Army's definition of 'small arms?'
Shit like this story is why I never re-upped. Bullshit like this happened all the time in my units, and yet the Army wonders why it's reenlistment and recruiting numbers are cratering.
So they wanted a entire long day of work when you were at most 30 minutes to closing.
Yeah, heck that noise.
Especially if they missed doing this for two years and didn't have the paperwork.
is a davy crockett a small arm?
i mean it's man portable weapons system?
another reason Zach should've turned them away is because they didn't properly set up appointments and failed to bring the proper equipment to have the mortars inspected. my armament shop has been having this same problem with an MP unit that's run by idiots and crybabies
I'm not fully versed or clear on military terminology and structure, but does Zach holding a Warrant Officer position mean that he was unofficially brevetted to that rank?
That sergeant was an asshole and should've been referred to literally any Sergeant Major nearby to see if that CSM would agree that their lack of preparation necessitated you staying there into the early hours of the morning to fix their fuck-up. Because any Sergeant Major I've ever known would've put his ass in check in a heartbeat.
What is this clip from?