Black Men and Black Women Show The World How Lost We Are

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  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @ChavisGreenard
    @ChavisGreenard 11 місяців тому +811

    These "lists" screams trauma, brokenness, and bitterness. This is not healthy at all.

    • @viviandaviss
      @viviandaviss 11 місяців тому +96

      I feel like these lists and all these dating podcasts and forums is making people overanalyze every little thing and people don't know how to interact anymore

    • @VixxKong2
      @VixxKong2 11 місяців тому +29

      I'm pretty sure it's not unreasonable to say that a guy that lives with his baby mama shouldn't date. Or a man that is a absentee father shouldn't date either.
      Not everything on the lists made by women was unreasonable

    • @Nisha_94
      @Nisha_94 11 місяців тому +11

      @@viviandavissI agree!!!!

    • @mrsp5808
      @mrsp5808 11 місяців тому +15

      I agree and I think some channels are fanning flames. Just look around the internet

    • @KOLAkola
      @KOLAkola 11 місяців тому +11

      Entitlement beyond this world

  • @mirandarebecca3646
    @mirandarebecca3646 11 місяців тому +473

    Just ignore these lists. They are created by people who are unstable and haven’t the slightest idea of what makes up a healthy relationship.

    • @ULuvJanae
      @ULuvJanae 11 місяців тому +44

      And are single/never been married/etc etc
      Basically those who are one to talk

    • @Nwakaego_
      @Nwakaego_ 11 місяців тому +10

      I agree.

    • @MzSweetzTalk
      @MzSweetzTalk 11 місяців тому +7

      True

    • @MersayW
      @MersayW 11 місяців тому +6

      Exactly

    • @mrs.haynes-r5z
      @mrs.haynes-r5z 11 місяців тому +6

      I agree 💯

  • @Dani-fc1hc
    @Dani-fc1hc 11 місяців тому +248

    I wish this type of attention was put into bettering the community.

    • @6feet6figures
      @6feet6figures 11 місяців тому +18

      The community is dead been that way for a long time

    • @neoloanderson6676
      @neoloanderson6676 11 місяців тому +2

      You got jokes 😂

    • @WBrizzle81
      @WBrizzle81 10 місяців тому +5

      In a sense, it is bettering the community. Communities are built on households/families. Families are built on couples. We can't get to the coupling point if we can't even agree on where to go on a first date.

    • @tredinabrown2249
      @tredinabrown2249 8 місяців тому

      @@6feet6figures Stop Sinning!!!

    • @DR-lf5rg
      @DR-lf5rg 2 місяці тому

      😂😂😂 👏 👏 👏

  • @Porter7317
    @Porter7317 11 місяців тому +292

    As a black woman I have to say I am so tired of the mentality of the black community. The lack of self esteem and drive to do better is overwhelming and I feel like I never fit in because I want to do better even with my own family. We are the only community sitting up on podcasts bashing each other. No wonder people don’t take us seriously and we have to work 10X as hard to make it because most people think we are a joke. I’m so over it. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @soindifferent_
      @soindifferent_ 11 місяців тому +23

      I feel you 100%. Keep focusing on improving yourself. I've come to understand that most people don't want to change despite them complaining about it.

    • @KK-ur7zz
      @KK-ur7zz 10 місяців тому +26

      Omg finally somebody who feels me 🙌🏽🙌🏽 I literally just tried to have this conversation with a guy I thought I liked and all I got was a argument and him telling me that I never had a real man all because I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and really wanted us to get to know each other first 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m so sick of this gotta get in your pants ass mentality these bm have when we only been knowing eachother for a week. It just don’t make sense to me

    • @stark.edwards2068
      @stark.edwards2068 10 місяців тому +13

      Absolutely Absolutely 💯 It's beyond sad 😔

    • @queen-asia2184
      @queen-asia2184 10 місяців тому +9

      💯

    • @elizabethjordan5755
      @elizabethjordan5755 10 місяців тому

      @@KK-ur7zz These men are sexually spoiled. Sex is literally expected within the first or second dates, or at least hoped for. What happened to self control? Men want to "screw first and ask questions later".
      Then, they have the nerve to complain that there's no good women. 🙄

  • @chelseawilliams8588
    @chelseawilliams8588 11 місяців тому +127

    Waaaaait, women who live alone are a red flag? Who are they supposed to live with? These lists are so unreasonable.

    • @chelseawilliams8588
      @chelseawilliams8588 11 місяців тому +13

      And I didn’t even see American Black Women yet. A MESS.

    • @kierrashanta
      @kierrashanta 11 місяців тому +14

      😂😂😂 no fr this don’t make no sense.

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому

      Another red flag is a bw they're all walking red flags overweight attitudes etc

    • @Quinn_M97
      @Quinn_M97 11 місяців тому +8

      Yeah that confused me

    • @iwhippedcreamcode4642
      @iwhippedcreamcode4642 11 місяців тому +8

      Lol These Dudes Are Idoits! Ladiez, Where Your List of Silly Comebacks?

  • @reemosama1
    @reemosama1 11 місяців тому +97

    This is really getting exhausting this whole going back and forth it's a waste

    • @coryjackson6944
      @coryjackson6944 11 місяців тому +2

      Agreed! 😔

    • @LanieMy
      @LanieMy 11 місяців тому +2

      True!

    • @bxi1547
      @bxi1547 11 місяців тому +4

      And it’s all women’s fault.

    • @bxi1547
      @bxi1547 11 місяців тому +3

      @@LanieMyYou’re talking about “true” when women like you are apart of the problem.

    • @Zeebo216
      @Zeebo216 Місяць тому

      @@bxi1547Cuz we refuse to deal with nonsense…got it…

  • @ArethaRenee
    @ArethaRenee 11 місяців тому +194

    These lists are created to keep us divided by individuals on social media to get a viral moment. The Cheesecake video and interview were both fake. I miss the days when men and women simply liked each other and wanted a genuine connection.

    • @danilejai7801
      @danilejai7801 11 місяців тому +26

      Exactly! The restaurant list was also created by a man, not women! It’s all to keep us divided!

    • @catesj15
      @catesj15 11 місяців тому +15

      I do believe that Cheesecake Factory video was fake… propaganda

    • @danilejai7801
      @danilejai7801 11 місяців тому +12

      @@catesj15 there’s two versions of the video going around. It definitely a skit.

    • @keepmoving2023-ku7nb
      @keepmoving2023-ku7nb 11 місяців тому +1

      It wasn't fake she made a personal video talking about it was real and talking about women empowerment

    • @ArethaRenee
      @ArethaRenee 11 місяців тому

      @@keepmoving2023-ku7nb It was fake. She is an actress named Nickia Lowrey. She did an interview with the guy using the name Alicia. There are two versions of the date video.

  • @sheritownsend5359
    @sheritownsend5359 11 місяців тому +209

    This was excellent. I'm glad you didn't hold back. BTW: the Cheesecake factory was a skit. There are more and more skits being put on UA-cam to make "certain" people look bad. They're profitable because of the emotional state many Black people are in. If Black people would gravitate towards financial literacy and much as they do drama, we would be far better off than we are today.

    • @alicia7737
      @alicia7737 11 місяців тому +22

      This!!!! ✅

    • @cocoblessings
      @cocoblessings 11 місяців тому +8

      Well said!

    • @mrs.haynes-r5z
      @mrs.haynes-r5z 11 місяців тому +5

      Well said

    • @annkelly6349
      @annkelly6349 11 місяців тому +28

      Thank you for saying that because i avoided that video once I saw it go viral….. then finding out it was fake made sense!!!

    • @bxi1547
      @bxi1547 11 місяців тому

      Most of what’s on social media is staged.

  • @sandrawilliams5647
    @sandrawilliams5647 11 місяців тому +184

    Shumake I love your content on the basis that comes from a Christian perspective. As a Christian myself I really try to apply Biblical principles to my own life. Keep up the awesome content.

  • @felishapittman2778
    @felishapittman2778 11 місяців тому +155

    I'm so tired of it all.

    • @oceanlover2426
      @oceanlover2426 11 місяців тому +38

      Indeed. Tired of both black men and black women devaluing and disrespecting one another.

    • @Ariesphunk
      @Ariesphunk 11 місяців тому +19

      Right it’s like a huge mirror that nobody wants to admit that they actually see themselves in. No one wants to take accountability everyone’s so superficial like log off and stop itttt.

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому

      It's the women that are the problem

    • @Moran.A
      @Moran.A 11 місяців тому

      ​@@RKG5A5so are women,tired of being step moms and babysitting for single father's since most bm are baby daddies not husband materials as evidenced by the above list. Thank God I am single and childless and celibate for all my 24 years of living,don't know which diseases are out there,I hear aids is even on the rise since some of those men are DL,I pity women who are dating smh

  • @maddielu5286
    @maddielu5286 11 місяців тому +174

    AA men and women make everything a competition against each other, it's tiring

    • @sexygirl2735
      @sexygirl2735 11 місяців тому +13

      Amen one started passively telling me about his Masters degree like dude I don’t care.

    • @chelle967
      @chelle967 11 місяців тому

      @@sexygirl2735 they really think that their finances and materials will make you want them more. A real woman with sense won't care about that....

    • @catmouse2882
      @catmouse2882 11 місяців тому

      ​@@sexygirl2735 You should only care if you plan on marrying the guy because higher education speaks to his earning potential and any student loan debt.

    • @stoneyhighhigh3677
      @stoneyhighhigh3677 11 місяців тому +18

      ​@@chelle967y'all say date out but won't speak on how other races can take your life too Soo y'all need to be focusing on finding the right individual and not focusing on "dating outside ur race just cause u dislike your race"

    • @charmaineespeut4627
      @charmaineespeut4627 11 місяців тому

      I can see why slavery lasted so long. Alot of Black people are dumb and refuse to help each other and organize to do better even today

  • @j_s552
    @j_s552 11 місяців тому +80

    Am I the only one who laughed when it said “A woman with a list” but yet they made a whole ‘list’ of things on where not to and who not to date? 😂like what kind of hypocrisy is this 😂😂

    • @Darline_ox
      @Darline_ox 11 місяців тому +7

      i said the same thing lol

    • @Zeebo216
      @Zeebo216 Місяць тому

      That’s a man for you….

  • @Ariesphunk
    @Ariesphunk 11 місяців тому +72

    “Y’all made for each other and y’all just trying to tear each other down” my point exactly lol. They out here hurting each other and then hopping on the internet bashing each other. Like c’mon.

  • @amgvlogs5087
    @amgvlogs5087 11 місяців тому +108

    I'ma play devils advocate for the first list ONLY so please hear me out. I have never thought to take a girl out to any these places for a first date. There isnt anything wrong with them, but they are honestly "low effort" choices if that makes sense. Other than red lobster, non of those restaurants I regular. If we're getting dinner, im going to pick a place I like, and thats usually a local restaurant. Every city has there hidden gems. Doesn't have to be 5 star, i took a girl to a local hole in the wall crab boil restaurant and she loved it! Me teaching her how to eat a crawdad allowed us to relate on a much better level.
    If its an activity, its gonna be something I think would be engaging for the both of us. Art museums, paddle boating, car shows, and live theater are all 10x better than a simple movie. Again, nothing wrong with those choices, but I think the majority of women would appreciate the extra 2 seconds of thought for a first date since she probably already had 5 other dudes ask her out to Chili's. Just my two cents.

    • @deasyastarr
      @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +35

      THISSSSSS! And those activities you mentioned, some of those are free or extremely inexpensive. Now if the woman you’re wanting to date only wants to see you swipe your card on a big bill, then clearly she’s not the one for you and that’s usually (I would like to think) very easy to spot.

    • @sonyaking8049
      @sonyaking8049 11 місяців тому +13

      You have great ideas. I'm having fun just thinking about it.

    • @turquoisepurple7sky151
      @turquoisepurple7sky151 11 місяців тому

      🗣🗣🗣

    • @amgvlogs5087
      @amgvlogs5087 11 місяців тому +24

      @@RKG5A5 Cause God calls you to do everything unto the glory of God? (1 Corinthians 10:31) Because it's a healthy character trait to put your best foot forward every single day? If you don't get that I guess we're just cut from a different cloth 🤷🏿‍♂️

    • @priscillabaileymusic
      @priscillabaileymusic 11 місяців тому +13

      Youre the first person on the Internet to suggest using imagination. All my dates have been just as you stated and most have not centred around dinner. Top dates I've been on have been at the arcade , salsa dancing and a cake shop.

  • @gianelogan9841
    @gianelogan9841 11 місяців тому +53

    One person made the list … we should ignore it. Grown people know to date.

  • @deniseeugene1852
    @deniseeugene1852 11 місяців тому +67

    Both lists made me cry for our sons and daughters. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @ShaynieB
      @ShaynieB 11 місяців тому +7

      Exactly…if my husband and I went by these lists, we would never be together. Thats why we both went to GOD first, and my husband (who was my highschool sweetheart) came and found me later in life and we got married. GOD will make a way for people he put together, regardless of what you come with.

    • @ericp.7550
      @ericp.7550 10 місяців тому

      Yess, I have a 22yr old Son, Lord help em

    • @tayloreasley3419
      @tayloreasley3419 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes as a 28 year old and I see this list I am like, there is no point in dating.

    • @zechariyahgodschild7258
      @zechariyahgodschild7258 8 місяців тому +2

      Pray for the youth 🙏🏼

  • @GodLovesYouAllTheTime
    @GodLovesYouAllTheTime 11 місяців тому +91

    This stuff is just going to far. Getting way outta hand. I’ve never had any issues with a man and deciding where we are going. We literally talk like adults and decide on a mutual place. Like dating is getting so weird and complicated, and completely complex for no reason. My goodness.
    But this is a great video!! ❤ I always love your perspective.

    • @keepmoving2023-ku7nb
      @keepmoving2023-ku7nb 11 місяців тому +14

      It's gotten to the point where people are making simple things hard

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому +2

      Oh trust me it's only going to get far worse I suggest the guys get their passports and western Women can just get cats and dogs.

    • @GodLovesYouAllTheTime
      @GodLovesYouAllTheTime 11 місяців тому

      @@RKG5A5and having a husband is supposed to be some kind of prize or something? Who tf cares if a person gets married. That’s not everybody’s goal in life. You can married and it be a crappy marriage. Being married doesn’t guarantee happiness or you’ll have an available partner. Simple minded ass person.

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому +1

      DIVEST.

  • @bamagrl26
    @bamagrl26 11 місяців тому +358

    This is why I am comfortable being and remaining Single.

  • @laurenbogans357
    @laurenbogans357 11 місяців тому +21

    This world is petty...talking bout the dumbest shyte...ģet right with the Lord and Jesus...amen 😊😅😮😢

  • @BubbasJuice2145
    @BubbasJuice2145 11 місяців тому +100

    Say that again our black culture needs a refresh. I don’t know how to connect to all the Black people that need to hear good direction in life.

    • @BubbasJuice2145
      @BubbasJuice2145 11 місяців тому +12

      All you have to do is follow the Bible that is the only way to live and I’m not saying you have to walk a straight, clean, narrow line, but live within the confines of what God says we’re supposed to be life is better with God. I couldn’t agree more.

    • @lifeventures6651
      @lifeventures6651 11 місяців тому +9

      @@BubbasJuice2145Absolutely. I tune out this worldly advice keeping the gender war going. It’s obnoxious.

    • @deniseeugene1852
      @deniseeugene1852 11 місяців тому

      The one thing every black Person must do is to confront that ugly self. I realize If a race war broke out today. No one is coming to black peoples aid. No one…

  • @ljblue77
    @ljblue77 11 місяців тому +41

    There was another list of things to do for first dates that of course didn't get posted. The List ( not expensive just different) Museum, Gallery, Live music, Comedy, taste testing wine cheese deserts, escape room, cooking class, improv show, stepping/line dance class. This started as a what else is there to do. People started trolling once it was reposted then it turned into a gender war as usual.

    • @Lily-gs9iv
      @Lily-gs9iv 10 місяців тому +4

      Exactly! Real people go on these types of dates. Ratchets have no imagination. 😂

  • @msjewelutube
    @msjewelutube 11 місяців тому +65

    I had girlfriends like this back in the day who wouldn't go out with a man who didn't spend a lot of money on a date. They talked down to me for going out for ice cream with a gentleman on a first date, but 6 months after that date he spent 50 grand on a ring and I was engaged while they were still going out for dinner and laying up with sugar daddies. However that was in the 90's before social media took over. Things are different now and not in a good way.

    • @chitown7110
      @chitown7110 10 місяців тому +3

      You say you were ENGAGED? Did that result in marriage? If so, are you still happily married?

  • @curlygirl9023
    @curlygirl9023 11 місяців тому +49

    This was the most strongest read I’ve seen of the black community! I love this…. Black folks will kick a field goal but in the wrong goal!!! Awesome video

  • @monique991
    @monique991 11 місяців тому +34

    Our brother is preaching. Our community, our world needs GOD. We belong in the word, we have got to get into and stay in the good book. When we arm ourselves with God’s word, we can’t lose.

    • @keepmoving2023-ku7nb
      @keepmoving2023-ku7nb 11 місяців тому +1

      It's too far gone too much damage it's best to separate from each other

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому

      ​@@keepmoving2023-ku7nbI agree sysbm leave bw alone and get your passport

    • @Quinn_M97
      @Quinn_M97 11 місяців тому

      @@keepmoving2023-ku7nb so we should just breed out our race?

  • @marcellacrier7283
    @marcellacrier7283 11 місяців тому +8

    I asked my sister, Are we as black people just meant to be slaves?? I mean look at the stuff we do to each other.

  • @virginiarush8541
    @virginiarush8541 11 місяців тому +43

    I love how you promote God's word. Keep up the good work!

    • @gmoneyboys1
      @gmoneyboys1 10 місяців тому

      @@RKG5A5 Huh!!! You crazy

  • @bricbrac28
    @bricbrac28 11 місяців тому +65

    I hope this black gender war goes away in 2024

    • @keepmoving2023-ku7nb
      @keepmoving2023-ku7nb 11 місяців тому +22

      News flash......it's not going anywhere its only going to get worse

    • @bxi1547
      @bxi1547 11 місяців тому +1

      Yeah right. Not with black women and their bad attitudes and their love for Pookie.

    • @6feet6figures
      @6feet6figures 11 місяців тому +4

      This is Bible prophecy Isaiah 4:1

    • @joimonae4090
      @joimonae4090 11 місяців тому +3

      It’s not. Black thing the white men and women going through it too I noticed other countries not doing stuff like this America is the common denominator

    • @joimonae4090
      @joimonae4090 11 місяців тому

      @@RKG5A5 they are getting bad but you probably don’t watch their content or be around them enough,I’m around more white peoples than black plus black peoples are only 18 percent in America so of course they are automatically going to have higher rates just like white women are the highest in welfare recipients my point is dating and the whole gender crap is huge not just in the black community white men have been going to find non American wives for decades

  • @Ebene313
    @Ebene313 11 місяців тому +51

    Lol i remember a guy once told me his salary in probably the 3 sentence of us speaking. I congratulated him and pivoted the topic. He brought it up 3 more times and i got annoyed so I told him I dont sell those services and told me i was spoiled because my dad always let me say what I want. Guys get annoyed when you imply they should just find someone to pay for their company but those same guys lead with their wallets and arent funny or enjoyable to be around

    • @Quinn_M97
      @Quinn_M97 11 місяців тому +3

      You dodged a bullet

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому +2

      DIVEST.

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      effeminate bitter dl dusty.... @you @@RKG5A5

    • @Quinn_M97
      @Quinn_M97 10 місяців тому

      @@ibabechanel why do you think everyone wants biracial children?

  • @stark.edwards2068
    @stark.edwards2068 11 місяців тому +82

    @Shumake Way the title of this video is so true. I'm embarrassed by the black culture! I kind of wish I was not associated with it. It's a beyond lost culture! 🙏🏽

    • @jklmnoqr
      @jklmnoqr 11 місяців тому +13

      🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌞🌷🌷🌷🌷
      I actually see these 'ways' as a social class problem. I highly doubt that you would ever see the members of our race who are TRUE Christians, Muslims or Jews, for example, or our well-bred upper-middle and upper class members engaging in the shenanigans that others seem to think is acceptable. And this has NOTHING to do with money. A lot of Hollywood folk, entertainers and athletes are multimillionaires and act shamefully and without dignity.
      I am NOT ashamed of 'black culture' because it is not just one thing. We have many cultural/social ways of expression within our culture. I have always chosen the 'boring', dignified way which got me labelled as an 'Uncle Tom' when I was younger. Fortunately, all of these years later, I can STILL hold my head up high before men and women of any race or nationality. And I do the same now here in Europe. If racists and other folk are not familiar with dignified black folks--- that is their misfortune. I will not let others make me feel shame and neither should you. Hold your head up high, Sister, because you are only responsible for yourself and unfortunately neither you nor I can control those who cannot seem to understand the consequences of their own actions. Hold your head up, beautiful sister!!! Barbara
      🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌞🕊️🌷🌷🌷🌷

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому +2

      DIVEST.

    • @stark.edwards2068
      @stark.edwards2068 10 місяців тому +2

      @ibabechanel Thank you...Yes, I have already started Divesting❣️🙏🏽🙌🏽

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому +2

      @@stark.edwards2068 Awesome ! 🤗

    • @toricollins6516
      @toricollins6516 8 місяців тому

      Which “black culture”? There’s more than one. Why be embarrassed by people simply
      b/c they share your skin tone, if you aren’t aligned with them mentally or culturally?

  • @ReallyMaxx
    @ReallyMaxx 11 місяців тому +29

    That was exactly what I said when I saw the Date Place List. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ They got all of ys out in the world, looking mad foolish.

  • @Sparkle-ButterFly
    @Sparkle-ButterFly 11 місяців тому +27

    37:00 One of the problems is the face on your thumbnail. When KS made videos, a lot of men were in the comment section bashing women and it was really sad. I never once heard KS talk about building a stable home and living according to the Bible. It was always about how women should be submissive to their high dollar men. The Bible speaks against fornication but people seem to ignore that chapter and we wonder why the HIV rate is so high in the African American community. Shumake thanks for helping to reverse this path of destruction that our people are heading towards. I apprecitate men like you who promote being in a committed relationship.

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      The HIV rates are thru the roof bcos the dl dusties won't stay out of each other's bussies.

    • @Sparkle-ButterFly
      @Sparkle-ButterFly 8 місяців тому

      @prominence6922 True, there are some women who want more in life. It is not a crime to have high hopes and dreams. If that is what they are aiming for, then I am not mad at them. Money doesn't excite me at all so I don't chase it.
      You lost me at the "everyday Blk Men that would love them and take care of a family." Uhhh Black men have not been family oriented since the days of slavery. Sadly, it's almost rare to find a black man who will not cheat and one who is willing to be in a loving committed relationship and support his family. Check the stats!

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому

      ​@@Sparkle-ButterFlyThose "stats" that you speak of a underreported and women are cheating at the same rate as men and maybe even higher. Nothing is rare. Yall are just picking the same cailber of men.
      But thats not all. Look at the std rates of black women. Look at the stats of black women having more children than black men on average.

  • @jessicatsao92
    @jessicatsao92 11 місяців тому +23

    I would love to go to Cheesecake factory, I've never been there before. And all those places are nice except for the nightclub, the bar, the hookah bar, and his house, because I don't trust those places so easily. At least the rest of the places on that list are in public, which means I don't mind. A food truck would be fine with me, too!
    Oh, and btw, I think a decent black women wouldn't mind as well. I can understand that a man might not be loaded (I care more about his spending habits and budgeting skills), but his behavior has to be that of a decent, functioning adult man, and likewise I should be expected to be decent as well.
    I'm still in the process of figuring out and understanding what a good woman and a good man are, which is why I'm hesitant about dating.

    • @yvetteshokere7818
      @yvetteshokere7818 11 місяців тому +9

      What's wrong with all those eating places????? Me and my husband went to these places when we dated........went bike riding, walking, to the mall, fast food, all those restaurants listed, church, library, Barnes and noble, shopping and we had fun!!!!! It wasn't about money or high end places. It was about getting to know each other. And we been married for 20 years.

    • @jessicatsao92
      @jessicatsao92 11 місяців тому +6

      @@yvetteshokere7818 That's what I was wondering. The places that I won't go to are the bar and nightclub, or his house, on a first date. Other than that, everything else seems nice.

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 11 місяців тому

      ​@@jessicatsao92Agreed. For safety, it's best not to go to those places as a lady. My husband took me to the roller skating rink and the movies on our first date. We finished it off with a dinner at TGI Fridays and stargazing outside in the mall parking lot on top of his car. Next year, we will be married for 4 years and he is still the same man I met years ago and he's a great provider. A man's character is what matters more than anything.

  • @SheilaTrueLove
    @SheilaTrueLove 11 місяців тому +10

    YOU ARE SPEAKING NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. I AGREE TOTALLY 👍🏾

  • @LadyGodiva0611
    @LadyGodiva0611 11 місяців тому +6

    43:36 that “SHUT UP” is def what’s needed! So much therapy is needed in the community…

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому

      Hes a hypocrite because he didn't address the women calling out other women for coming in defense of men. Calling them pick mes and camelons. True hypocrite

  • @Taby1011
    @Taby1011 11 місяців тому +45

    I told my husband that if he would have shown up to our first date in an expensive car and taken me to an expensive restaurant, my first thought would have been this man is bad with money and there would have not been a second date. On our first date he took me to an Italian restaurant close to my house and he picked me up in an old Honda. We were talking and this guy came up to us and he told us ‘ We are sitting all the way over there and we can feel the energy you guys are emitting” we have been together for 15 years and married for 9 and I love him more now more than ever, he is the best person I know ❤

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому +4

      Struggle love is not a flex.

    • @Taby1011
      @Taby1011 10 місяців тому +2

      @@ibabechanel Maybe so, but I was looking for a partner, not a provider. I had my own job and money and looking for somebody that wanted the same things as I did. I would never ask for my partner what I could not give back. But you do what makes you happy, I don't live your life and I don't know your struggles. I just hope that you and everyone else finds what they are looking for

    • @karenmassey8354
      @karenmassey8354 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes but most women are looking for providers. Pretty much any woman can be married if she also takes on the man’s job in the relationship. That isn’t what many women are looking for though. As the person above stated - struggle love is not it.

    • @Taby1011
      @Taby1011 10 місяців тому

      @karenmassey8354 and like I said before, I hope everyone one finds what they are looking for. And just to let you know, we never struggled, we were actually very lucky to have great jobs and we have been able to build a life that we always dreamed of. We both are frugal and try our best to not be buying anything we don't need. When he showed up in his car on our first date, it was a good drivable car and it showed me that he values the same things as me and I was right. My life is not a soap opera and I do believe that love doesn't conquer it all, bills and hunger sets in after a while. So I our love was never struggle love

    • @blasiankiki7831
      @blasiankiki7831 10 місяців тому

      @@karenmassey8354a partnership isn’t struggle love and a man that can provide 100% does not mean he will be a LOVING husband and father. Men are people not just ATM machines just like we women aren’t just good for one thing. She loves her husband… let her be. Just keep looking for your 100% provider… good luck

  • @Onebaybeedoll
    @Onebaybeedoll 11 місяців тому +154

    Actually...
    A man made this list and then asked women if they agreed.
    The women came back with a list of ideas they would approve, and that list was actually super cool and in general waaay less expensive than the items on this list.
    Personally, aside from items that pose potential risks to my safety if I don't know the dude, this list strikes me as more a second or third date list.

    • @renellewoods1472
      @renellewoods1472 11 місяців тому +5

      I actually said this war against each other

    • @taalofaa
      @taalofaa 11 місяців тому

      a black man made this list?
      Stupid is once again as Stupid performs

    • @Dass1996
      @Dass1996 11 місяців тому +20

      Right, people are in a uproar about nothing. I’d gladly take any place on that list, just not my house or his until I get to know him.

    • @nicoobrowner
      @nicoobrowner 11 місяців тому

      Not surprised at it. It trashes black women and we all know how viral such content is currently going online.

    • @taalofaa
      @taalofaa 11 місяців тому

      @@Dass1996 I got a pass port in 1973 first time i heard a black woman Oprah Winfrey say" i Don't need no man"
      U should have seen oprah run a marathon 1991 bigg sloppy bouncy behind and all.
      She did it though!

  • @stoneyhighhigh3677
    @stoneyhighhigh3677 11 місяців тому +19

    *BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN*
    the fact thats even on the list is insane......YET THESE SAME MEN WILL SCREAM 'dont lump all men together"

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому

      But yall still do it anyway. Mere hypocrites

    • @Zeebo216
      @Zeebo216 Місяць тому

      @@ssbashalot7324Y’all did it first…

  • @Heat_Rush
    @Heat_Rush 11 місяців тому +11

    Also, the cheesecake factory lady was a skit, the woman is an actress, she confirmed that on fb. Black women are jumping on the bash black women bandwagon to gain popularity and followers.

  • @RoseGoldHunii
    @RoseGoldHunii 11 місяців тому +25

    So the dating world is trash now, and Im so happy not to be in this mess lol! I feel bad for the future generations that will be raised by this generation smh

  • @deasyastarr
    @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +58

    I wasn’t ready for you to snap this hard! But it was a great message! We as black people keep showing ourselves to be foolish and confused. And for those of us who carry ourselves differently, we get lumped in with the foolishness. All this is doing is adding to the fear based approach that most of us already have towards dating and relationships. We clearly want each other but we are being completely counterproductive to getting the best of what we want from each other.

    • @ULuvJanae
      @ULuvJanae 11 місяців тому +3

      🎯

    • @kjm485
      @kjm485 11 місяців тому

      Black guys don't want Black women. Black guys step out more than all other male groups combined!

    • @zarario4444
      @zarario4444 11 місяців тому +6

      The high out of wedlock birth rates and low marriage rates clearly show we don't want or like each other.

    • @deasyastarr
      @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +5

      @@zarario4444 we want each other, not in healthy ways atp, but clearly we want each other; otherwise there wouldn’t be much of a birth rate at all cuz nobody would be engaging in activities that result in babies bring born. And if we didn’t want each other, there would be no gender war. If we didn’t want each other, we’d be more at peace living our own lives with no complaints.

  • @jesusisable7052
    @jesusisable7052 11 місяців тому +12

    Not my chipotle and Olive Garden 😅and it’s always a good time to go to church 😇lol at cowboys fans 😂😂😂

  • @ljefferson1481
    @ljefferson1481 11 місяців тому +18

    The Cheesecake Factory was a skit! It was not real! But at the same time, I wish they would not done it…it makes us BW look bad!

    • @SRK6IX
      @SRK6IX 11 місяців тому

      Modern women in general make themselves look bad. Any man with common sense knows it's not just a black women thing 😂

    • @rosejames5172
      @rosejames5172 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@@RKG5A5That statistic makes no sense. yet you are repeating it. If someone did not get married how can they get divorced?

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      you know these clowns have a 93% illiteracy rate and only 7% of them can read above 7th grade. @@rosejames5172

  • @Caligirl1977
    @Caligirl1977 11 місяців тому +58

    This is a great video and you said a lot that’s true. Accountability works both ways and just like women need to have certain qualities to attract a man, the same applies to men. What I noticed from both lists you read is that both men and woman have a lot of shallow and frivolous requirements when dating and then they wonder why the dating world is trash now. The black community as a whole are growing up in single parent homes. Therefore, the majority of us are not even qualified to be giving anyone dating advice

    • @Aurumfae
      @Aurumfae 11 місяців тому +2

      So true. Most black homes are broken… I wouldn’t take advice from most people about dating today, let alone 90-95% of black people.

    • @joycewatt8289
      @joycewatt8289 11 місяців тому +1

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @joycewatt8289
      @joycewatt8289 11 місяців тому

      @@RKG5A5If anything they should look and realize that Becky and Brad are operating different. As the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.”
      Don’t listen to what people say. Watch 👀 what they do. If the two don’t add up that’s your clue to not drink the koolaid 🥤

  • @stephanierayford4183
    @stephanierayford4183 11 місяців тому +11

    I think its good idea to have a few conversations before going out on a date. You actually save your self time by talking to someone a few times before going on a date. You can talk to someone a few times over the phone and realize yall are not compatible. I can recall talking to a guy over the phone two times realizing it was good I didn't go on a date him. Meeting up walking around the mall, park , are Starbucks is good because you get to see how a person acts naturally.

  • @OceanisInfinite
    @OceanisInfinite 11 місяців тому +6

    Men need to marry men according to that list. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️😩😩😩😂😂😂

  • @Goodwomen12
    @Goodwomen12 11 місяців тому +14

    As a black women it's the thought that counts, all food is good to me, let's go talk, get to know each other and eat good😊

  • @yeverett4533
    @yeverett4533 11 місяців тому +11

    The Cheesecake Factory date was a skit. The woman has come out and said it, and I think she's a wannabe actress.

    • @missmisher
      @missmisher 11 місяців тому +3

      Perhaps, but there are women out there who really have this mentality in today’s Black culture.

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 11 місяців тому +1

      ​@@missmisherThere definitely are. As a woman, I meet them at my jobs and they are SERIOUS. One even named certain car models a man could never pick her up in and what kind of shoes he has to own if he steps to her looking for a date. It's ridiculous.

  • @LEBAJ2113
    @LEBAJ2113 11 місяців тому +13

    BM how about writing a list on how to address femicide youth violwnce poverty homelessness in the Black Community that you proclaim to lead. To write that list you would have to take accountability excert self control and actually love ur Community and the BW

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому

      F bw f the community SYSBM get your passport 🛂

  • @ericacosta987
    @ericacosta987 11 місяців тому +6

    Oh my God, I didn’t see the second list… yeah American ladies, RUN… RUN… RUN let them stays alone… women who travel regularly????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ItsBeautifulMe16
    @ItsBeautifulMe16 11 місяців тому +5

    Lists like this goes to show that some people do not have role models of healthy dating and relationships from other men and women in their lives.

  • @alwaysright9099
    @alwaysright9099 11 місяців тому +20

    I subscribed to your UA-cam bec I like your content.
    But as an African American woman, I married a Korean American man bec our community is broken in so many ways, especially when it comes to sex, dating, marriage and real faith in God!!!

    • @Lily-gs9iv
      @Lily-gs9iv 10 місяців тому +2

      I love that for you. ❤

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      Glad you're divested ! More BW need to continually follow suit, instead of wasting time with these effeminate losers dl dusties.

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому

      So you married outside of your race based on minor issues of the community? Black women are the biggest hypocrites known to man when it comes to interracial relationships.

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому

      Date someone because you fell in love with them and not because of minority issues of a community. Black women are hypocrites when it comes to interracial dating

  • @queen_k8444
    @queen_k8444 5 місяців тому +1

    Hence, this is where the unrealistic expectations come from 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m so sick of ppl, I swear

  • @sweet_heart2094
    @sweet_heart2094 11 місяців тому +11

    I'm not going to lie I'm guilty of doing some of those things and I feel like my spirit needed to hear this so I can get myself together too but everybody really need to hear this especially my own community

  • @SweetAven00
    @SweetAven00 11 місяців тому +13

    I hate that there are obviously certain men and women that subscribe to this mentality and the ppl really losing out are the women and me who want traditional and love and fairness. These emotionally traumatized ppl are making us all look bad and setting up unrealistic and unreasonable expectations and stereotypes. 😢 I had a man ask me about the list, pbly bc Im a single black women. I told him that he can keep that mess to himself, Im not part that crowd and it doesn’t represent all black women.

  • @TrishaBurris
    @TrishaBurris 11 місяців тому +15

    GOD 1st always, Shumake you told nothing but the TRUTH! 🗣️🗣️

  • @sassylady136
    @sassylady136 11 місяців тому +19

    I've been celibate, single and live alone since 2013. Iwas born and raised in the West, so I definitely wouldn't meet these 🤡🤡 dating list credentials. I'm OKAY dying alone, the idea of dating is frightening. 🧘🏽‍♀️🕯️🐈

    • @host510
      @host510 11 місяців тому +3

      Dating is hard for everyone right now
      Don't die alone
      Make sure you choose your husband wisely

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      DIVEST.

  • @sabrinamays9965
    @sabrinamays9965 11 місяців тому +3

    You’re speaking all facts in this video Shumake. I just don’t understand why there’s so much hate out there in our community.

  • @lynnnduhhx0
    @lynnnduhhx0 11 місяців тому +5

    ngl i don’t think cheesecake factory, chilis, olive garden and red lobster are bad first date places at all 🙄

    • @lynnnduhhx0
      @lynnnduhhx0 11 місяців тому +3

      OR coffee dates… that’s cute imo

  • @Jenjenn1111
    @Jenjenn1111 11 місяців тому +9

    It’s really ignorant and I’m getting sick of this back and forth between BM and BW…especially BM. It’s toxic and childish. To me it seems like BM started this hate train tho! I’m just tired of it and it makes me just want to leave the black community alone until we do better. Let the fools keep arguing with each other.

    • @Jenjenn1111
      @Jenjenn1111 11 місяців тому +4

      @@RKG5A5 I disagree…y’all started it since the beginning of time abusing and mistreating women…but I don’t expect you all to take any responsibility for that. It’s just a waste of time with most of you…a lost cause!

    • @Jenjenn1111
      @Jenjenn1111 8 місяців тому

      @@StoicCaringbutColdandFierceIfN Nobody cares what you think or have to say…you probably into other men anyway, carry on!

  • @Afrodite96
    @Afrodite96 10 місяців тому +1

    My husband and I went to Chilis yesterday… food was smackin’!

  • @ChavisGreenard
    @ChavisGreenard 11 місяців тому +22

    Brother Shumake going in!!!!

  • @feleciawade7491
    @feleciawade7491 11 місяців тому +14

    What an awesome concept and so very true!

  • @tstewart8698
    @tstewart8698 11 місяців тому +7

    These lists are celebrated by women and men who you should avoid at all cost as they belong with each other. Obviously, neither side knows how to choose someone of substance. There is a REAL war going on and the world is in a state of chaos. Those of us not on this type of stupidity need to distance ourselves from these kinds of people and focus on the things that matter. Lastly, ungrateful people need to be left in the dirt. If two people are serious about having something real, the location is secondary.

    • @Aurumfae
      @Aurumfae 11 місяців тому +5

      I agree 💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
      Leave these losers alone!

  • @ShaynieB
    @ShaynieB 11 місяців тому +2

    One of the things for women were “women who live alone”, but then also have single mothers on the list. you want a woman with no kids that has a roommate?

  • @taylorspastpresent1014
    @taylorspastpresent1014 11 місяців тому +7

    My first date with my husband was at the movies and McDonald’s when I was 17 ❤ I’m now 32.

    • @dbig48d
      @dbig48d 11 місяців тому +2

      Did he at least super-sized it
      Only kidding. I couldn't resist. God bless yall

    • @Lily-gs9iv
      @Lily-gs9iv 10 місяців тому +5

      Noticed how you said 17. Most of these places are for teenagers and preteens. Lol

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      Exactlyyy. @@Lily-gs9iv

  • @lisalovie563
    @lisalovie563 11 місяців тому +14

    I went on my first date with my husband to Red Lobster and no i don’t like lobster, that was the best date I ever had we talked all night and we been together ever since that was 26 years ago. The thing is he wasn’t my type but , I am so glad I took a chance best husband ever!

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      Struggle love is not a flex.

    • @ibabechanel
      @ibabechanel 10 місяців тому

      Time to put the crack pipe down, fatherless dl dusty. @@RKG5A5

    • @elizabethjordan5755
      @elizabethjordan5755 10 місяців тому +1

      She took a chance with a guy that she'd probably would've passed up. Preferences are OK, but when we are die hard about them, we might miss out on something that could be life changing and be best for our lives. 😌

    • @yvettefambro3587
      @yvettefambro3587 10 місяців тому

      Sometimes the man that is not your type , might be the best person that will treat you right, and then again Sometimes the man that you give a chance too will still Reject you 😢

  • @derellsplace
    @derellsplace 11 місяців тому +12

    Lost ain't even the word .
    Black people are the greatest" show people" on planet earth.we wake up in the morning performing.
    Serious about silly things and silly about serious things. Living life out of a movie scene that other people aren't even watching.

    • @ShaynieB
      @ShaynieB 11 місяців тому +3

      This!!! We are our own demise.

    • @mua9692
      @mua9692 10 місяців тому +1

      A whole word!💯💯

  • @brandygriffin731
    @brandygriffin731 11 місяців тому +5

    Well I love going those places, who made this dumb list. My first date was Dave and busters with my hubby and we've been married 13 yrs now.

  • @stefblanco3887
    @stefblanco3887 8 місяців тому +4

    Whew! You preached about men wanting submissive women when they don’t even deserve a conversation 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💯

  • @G.G.276
    @G.G.276 9 місяців тому

    Everything You said about Liking a Person in Dating. Women should be that way More! WE DESERVE MORE!

  • @billyhighfill
    @billyhighfill 11 місяців тому +9

    Preach brother 🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓💪💪💪💪💪💪💪. Words of wisdom right here. The Bible says to “not be unequally yoked”. Like mindedness is essential for a productive and healthy marriage. Well said sir. Well said. Also. PRAISE JESUS. I’m a believer as well. Having a Christ centered marriage is a cornerstone for happenings and a fruitful marriage.

  • @tcbullock5432
    @tcbullock5432 11 місяців тому +19

    Shumake, you popped off with this one! Keep it up! 🔥🔥🔥

  • @kaylasworld_
    @kaylasworld_ 11 місяців тому +3

    i’m heart broken for the world ..

  • @ninagrace-lee8323
    @ninagrace-lee8323 11 місяців тому +9

    Our people are clearly lacking in intelligence and critical thinking ability. This is exacerbated by low literacy rates and difficulty processing information. It’s sad that grown adults read these posts, took them literally, AND assumed they were written by two genders of black people
    A) The Cheesecake Factory video was obviously a skit. They were actors
    B) a black man wrote the list of places a woman shouldn’t go on a date and told women to comment if they agreed/disagreed (to get women’s pov on their dating experience)
    C) Men then retaliated to the Cheesecake Factory incident and created their own list of which women are eligible for dates/basic treatment during courtship
    This gender war is fake and needs to stop. 70% of the time, these videos aren’t real. They’re produced skits. The memes may not have even be created by black people. Yet, we have black content creators with no discernment making videos propagating stereotypes about black people that we don’t have data to validate for views. It makes me sick at this point
    If we have videos of REAL black women who are this demeaning, PROVE IT. I would like to see black women turning down dates with men who open car doors for them. I would like to see these “hypergamous BW who only want luxury” in real life. We’re all gold diggers right? So it shouldn’t be hard to find
    If there’s black men not dating single mothers and turning them down in real life, it would be nice to see evidence. Bc clearly these women are having kids with somebody…I need the evidence bc none of the stats on black people suggests our standards were ever unrealistic or unattainable

    • @catmouse2882
      @catmouse2882 11 місяців тому

      The gender war is REAL...the real gender war consists of Blk males creating fatherless homes. Blk males being the most uneducated and poorest male group...basically refusing to compete for resources so they can build and provide for themselves, Blk women, and children.
      Blk males unalive Blk women every 4.8 hrs. The high HIV rate in the Blk community.
      This gender war has been raging for generations at this point.
      It's very real.

    • @catmouse2882
      @catmouse2882 11 місяців тому

      @RKG5A5 Blk males marry the least...Blk males will impregnate women but hardly ever ask for their hand in marriage.
      It may cost $300k to raise a child but apparently Blk males are willing to bankrupt themselves to breed their dusty genes. Its weird.

  • @smack7110
    @smack7110 11 місяців тому +9

    I don’t understand this generation. I don’t mind going to any of these places!

  • @sandrawilliams6672
    @sandrawilliams6672 11 місяців тому +4

    Yes we all should have some standards , morals, and ethics but let’s put God first

  • @Thisisme1919
    @Thisisme1919 11 місяців тому +30

    Judging people by where they came from is unjust honestly, some people came out of horrible situations and made a commitment to never put someone thru what they went thru… to pretty much say that people who came from a bad situation should be condemned to a life of isolation and judgement the minute they’re old enough to free themselves is like condemning them to a lifetime of torture, a life sentence. Entirely undeserved.

    • @PranaChi369
      @PranaChi369 11 місяців тому +2

      The current state of today's times

    • @jahrules8674
      @jahrules8674 11 місяців тому +1

      Well I do it and I will continue to do it.
      If you hang out on the corner all day asking "can I pump your gas' I'm judging you

    • @RavinFruster
      @RavinFruster 11 місяців тому

      H@e vibes😂

    • @Thisisme1919
      @Thisisme1919 10 місяців тому

      I was talking about people coming from abusive / unstable family environments… just as the video was commenting on, idk where you got that from but ok
      Go back to the manosphere guys, I think you’re lost

    • @Thisisme1919
      @Thisisme1919 10 місяців тому

      @@jahrules8674 however, based on your comment, if you notice, what I wrote commented on a hypothetical situation in the past tense, you’re commenting on a situation in the present tense
      Honestly I wouldn’t judge either way, I’d more feel sorry for someone in that situation (not saying I have to be their friend, but it costs you nothing to have some compassion and understanding at a distance)
      Ergo your comment is irrelevant to what I was saying… because I’m talking about someone who found themselves in a terrible situation and pulled themselves out against all odds and didn’t take the path of least resistance which would have taken them down a life of crime or stagnation or whatever they were surrounded by.
      Here’s an extreme example bc. I feel like some of you are not capable of nuanced complex thought so I guess extreme is necessary:
      If you have two doctors, one who came from a two parent household with a silver spoon in their mouth and one who came from the hood, grew up in some of the worst projects, his mom was a stripper and his dad was missing… you’re telling me you would judge the second one and condemn him to a life of isolation? If anything, I would have more respect for the second one

  • @chronicfatiguehermithiker3022
    @chronicfatiguehermithiker3022 11 місяців тому +11

    Women raised in the west include Europe, Canada and Australia/New Zealand (culturally western though geologically eastern), besides the USA.

    • @VixxKong2
      @VixxKong2 11 місяців тому +9

      These guys seem to think that women in the East are somehow different.
      But China, South Korea and Japan have the same feminism that we have here. Perhaps these guys are looking for Afghanistan women.

    • @trisha1989
      @trisha1989 11 місяців тому +3

      Ikr! So where’s the list/propaganda coming from??? Black keyboard vernacular doesn’t equal a real Black person online! 😂

    • @chronicfatiguehermithiker3022
      @chronicfatiguehermithiker3022 11 місяців тому

      @@VixxKong2 They are young, not very sophisticated about the world and are dreaming of external solutions to their problems because they don’t want to do the hard work of fixing themselves; they’ll learn as they travel; traveling is excellent education, it’s good for them to get out of the American storm that they exist in.

    • @Aurumfae
      @Aurumfae 11 місяців тому

      @@VixxKong2those countries are on 1st wave feminism, not extremist 3rd wave feminism that contributed to the alphabet/rainbow flag community taking everything over. Hopefully those countries won’t turn radical in their feminism.

    • @VixxKong2
      @VixxKong2 11 місяців тому

      @@Aurumfae
      Do your research, sir. The feminism over there is literally women refusing any contact with men, and they don't care if the birthrate goes down

  • @deasyastarr
    @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +23

    My only date requirement is that it’s thoughtful and well planned out. Living in Houston, I feel like a man who also lives here has places he likes to eat or activities or places he likes to go that aren’t super generic. It does not have to be expensive because, just taking me to Ruth’s Chris (unless he likes to go there himself and wants to take me there) could come off as generic too. I like thoughtful and passionate men. He could bring me to a cozy little restaurant in the city where the food is inexpensive but fire. I want the date to give me a little insight into who he is and how he moves since the whole point is to get to know each other. I love exploring hidden gems so I’d also suggest places that speak to what I like to do as well.

    • @Dani-fc1hc
      @Dani-fc1hc 11 місяців тому +1

      I understand and believe that was the intention of the list, the delivery was off. People want effort put into dating, that can be done in so many ways.

    • @deasyastarr
      @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +1

      @@Dani-fc1hc I agree I don’t think it should’ve been put into a list at all because clearly it didn’t go over well lol. We can collectively ask for more effort and thoughtfulness in better ways than that. The list came off very petty imo.

    • @bxi1547
      @bxi1547 11 місяців тому +2

      @@Dani-fc1hcSo basically you women want something you don’t deserve.

    • @deasyastarr
      @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +1

      @@RKG5A5 why?

    • @deasyastarr
      @deasyastarr 11 місяців тому +3

      @@bxi1547 then don’t date them, simple. Or date people who aren’t women if they are more worth the effort to you. You have other options.

  • @ApostolicHeritage-wf8ic
    @ApostolicHeritage-wf8ic 20 днів тому

    All that list of restaurants making me hungry it’s cheaper and nice to go to not having to cook.

  • @GenerationfleX897
    @GenerationfleX897 11 місяців тому +5

    These gender wars is killing me.

  • @MissJennifer8
    @MissJennifer8 11 місяців тому +17

    All those restaurants make your back big...lol

  • @olove8337
    @olove8337 11 місяців тому +14

    I love the men's list😂❤❤❤. Rejection is protection.

    • @Joshua-eo5hr
      @Joshua-eo5hr 11 місяців тому

      Me too flying out to the Philippines

    • @olove8337
      @olove8337 11 місяців тому +1

      @@Joshua-eo5hr Yaaass! I'm going back to the West Indies. I want my son to enjoy being a kid and experience happiness.

    • @superodalisque
      @superodalisque 10 місяців тому +1

      I do like the list as well. It shows the mindset and maturity level of certain males and who YBW should stay away from.

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому +2

      ​@@olove8337Love how you're calling out the males anf not the women. I kinda thought that was the point of the video but the creator seems a little biased towards black women as well. "I'm tired of the black women being based" what about the males who were being disrespected first? Straight hypocrites.

    • @ssbashalot7324
      @ssbashalot7324 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@superodalisqueYes continue your biased like black women aren't being childish themselves

  • @VidWatcher01
    @VidWatcher01 11 місяців тому +8

    What's wrong with bowling?

    • @doll.ov.poetrii4682
      @doll.ov.poetrii4682 11 місяців тому +1

      That's what I'm saying. It's a very fun date idea for all ages.

  • @neotheboxer
    @neotheboxer 11 місяців тому +8

    My first date with my spouse was at a Bowling Alley. It was fun, it was public, we laughed and joked arpund and we could gauge how we each were without being in some intense conversation. Much of this list is actually what SHOULD be considered for a first date. Specifically, in my opinion, #1 to 6,8,9, 11 to 14, 17 to 19, 21 and 28 are just fine.

  • @SE-gs6gd
    @SE-gs6gd 11 місяців тому +6

    I wouldn’t want to go to a movie or just for food on a first date. How do you talk and get to know someone in a movie. I would go to an art gallery or a museum or i would do something active like rock climbing or even bowling since I’m a pretty good bowler lol. My first official date with my now husband was at a botanical garden with a tea lunch after. It was super simple and nice. Second date we took a beginners photography class. Third date we went on a food tour. It was all simple stuff but it was just spending time and getting to know the other person. I think part of this debate may also be class related too
    Edit: I think it’s interesting that a man’s plan A for his life is getting married having kids and having a wife to take care of him. That’s the whole plan. Yet for many women that’s not plan A and men are starting to realize this and they’re terrified. It’s so interesting to me.

  • @sidehustlevikki1066
    @sidehustlevikki1066 11 місяців тому +6

    I hate to stop watching dating commentary bc I noticed both sides seem to hate the other. If both parties are going into things with a negative mind set of the other party then it’s going to be hard to please each other, bc your being closed minded

  • @vickiewilkins1579
    @vickiewilkins1579 11 місяців тому +6

    Please pay for a football or baseball ticket for me. These tickets are expensive.

  • @325ariel
    @325ariel 11 місяців тому +3

    2024 end of all this gender wars. I pray all of this toxic mess comes to an end.

  • @khem127
    @khem127 10 місяців тому

    It's gotten real SHALLOW!!!!!!

  • @Yahuahisking
    @Yahuahisking 11 місяців тому +3

    I’m a woman and honestly…. A good one will not care about some chipotle Or Applebee’s why because, A: she will consider a persons finances. B: she will be more focused on the man’s character rather than something that can be here today gone tomorrow thru unfortunate circumstances (I’m speaking on money and material things) bottom line it’s hard times out here and as long as someone is trying. If you two have good chemistry and end up being very compatible then you both can build a great life together…

  • @nebulatoni9316
    @nebulatoni9316 10 місяців тому

    I don't know if you saw the update on the "cheesecake" stuff but apparently, that was a skit.

  • @feleciawade7491
    @feleciawade7491 11 місяців тому +2

    This was awesome! You are 100% correct on everything you said.

  • @hellothere8347
    @hellothere8347 11 місяців тому +6

    That’s why I’m single & going to remain single. I don’t have time or energy it’s annoying

  • @nikkilong7377
    @nikkilong7377 11 місяців тому +10

    When my late husband and I started dating we went to a club because his friend was supposed to be going on stage, we ended up having a few drinks and leaving. We then went on a group date to Texas de Brazil. That night he told me his plans for us and that he loved me. We were engaged 3 months later and married 2 years after. We were together almost everday for 6 years until his transition.
    These lists purely prove what some women don't have to offer beneath the surface.

  • @Lisette121
    @Lisette121 11 місяців тому +2

    Very true. While they're busy building we're having petty arguments

  • @sisterkamilah4373
    @sisterkamilah4373 11 місяців тому +15

    Some things on the list are places women should not go for sure. I wouldn’t take anything off the internet too seriously though and try to label ALL Black women as agreeing with a list that could have been posted by anyone. A date should be fun and it’s up to an individual to decide what makes them most comfortable. ❤

    • @Lovebrix99
      @Lovebrix99 11 місяців тому +3

      Those lists weren’t even made by black women. The person that made it was a black man which is why he cropped out his ig name. But someone found the original post and exposed that it was a man who made it

    • @sisterkamilah4373
      @sisterkamilah4373 11 місяців тому

      @@Lovebrix99 not surprising

  • @Loveandlight-wm5gl
    @Loveandlight-wm5gl 11 місяців тому +2

    I’m happily married and accept any of these places from my husband both pre and post marriage for a date except for 7, 14, and 25. This is insanity. It’s about the quality of time, not how much someone’s spends. If I go to one of these places, it doesn’t make me any less valuable of a woman or make me see him any different as long as he is genuinely investing time and energy into me/ us being together.

  • @Keana43
    @Keana43 11 місяців тому +9

    To each their own but like you said beside the ones that are a no go. I agree with them everybody don't have the same bank account ❤

  • @ayanadavis9449
    @ayanadavis9449 11 місяців тому +1

    This is so so true. More people need to hear this !