This Is What Dating With No Purpose Gets You

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2023
  • Shop My Merch:
    www.prayforlove.com
    Exclusive Content on Patreon
    / theshumakeway
    Book A Coaching Call:
    linktr.ee/theshumakeway
    Follow Me on Socials
    INSTAGRAM: theshumakew...
    TIK TOK: www.tiktok.com/@theshumakeway...
    FACEBOOK: / theshumakeway
    My Studio Equipment:
    Camera: amzn.to/3DQNPPd
    Capture Card: amzn.to/3Nv4b4c
    Lens: amzn.to/3WpYwk0
    Microphone: amzn.to/3NwQFNB
    Stream Deck: amzn.to/3U2yUYL
    Main Light: amzn.to/3T0PIOG
    Book Suggestions:
    Can't Hurt Me By David Goggins
    amzn.to/3EAX4DP
    Battle Cry By Jason Wilson
    amzn.to/469pLnb
    Atomic Habits By James Clear
    amzn.to/3PfrTCG
    The Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman
    amzn.to/3P46Vqk
    CSB Tony Evans Study Bible By Tony Evans
    amzn.to/45BHuDL
    Affiliate links are in this description, which means I may receive a small commission if you purchase a product or service listed here.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 409

  • @MrsBrittanyGold
    @MrsBrittanyGold 7 місяців тому +517

    He is speaking the truth. Trust me, it’s NOT worth it to give a man all access to you, ( living with you, giving you a baby, etc. ) WAIT until he marry ‘s you.

    • @moe_ramz
      @moe_ramz 7 місяців тому +10

      Yep ❤

    • @leaellas8400
      @leaellas8400 7 місяців тому +19

      Although it helps in self preservation 🙄 That doesn't prevent them from doing harm.

    • @JWW10666
      @JWW10666 7 місяців тому +46

      As a man, I can tell you if a man is determined and ready to marry a woman he is going to do it regardless if the woman makes him wait until marriage or not.
      I got married to my wife 3 months after meeting her and we've been together for 12 years now.

    • @brittneykeairaa
      @brittneykeairaa 7 місяців тому +4

      Married men still abandon. However, it’s an institution.

    • @loveyourselffirst549
      @loveyourselffirst549 7 місяців тому +8

      I hear you, but getting married does not stop you from becoming a single mother or DV victim.

  • @MickiMontana
    @MickiMontana 7 місяців тому +187

    It saddens me to hear ppl say that what is between a woman’s legs is her most valuable possession.
    Your heart and mind are your most precious possession and that what gets destroyed when ppl betray, abuse, and manipulate you and that can happen without sex.

    • @queenroaster8704
      @queenroaster8704 6 місяців тому

      Omg your a diamond in the rough its sad. When immature men can't she there delusional

    • @truthisinfinite8
      @truthisinfinite8 2 місяці тому +2

      This is absolutely true.

    • @nappyfries
      @nappyfries 12 днів тому +9

      I think he may be talking about what men place value on for the most part. You’re 100% right but a lot do men aren’t after our heart & mind.

    • @CynicalRealist8488
      @CynicalRealist8488 9 днів тому

      Toxic men will have hurt your heart and mind by just having sex with you and making you feel worthless and invaluable coz they act as if they conquered you so don’t sleep with a man you aren’t married to

    • @genovasquez8361
      @genovasquez8361 6 днів тому

      You right. I just want free box that I can get with no effort

  • @Babydoll-gf6cm
    @Babydoll-gf6cm 7 місяців тому +335

    Can someone please talk to the men on how they can be better humans ? Why is all the responsibility on women to not be “fooled”?

    • @kolmood3798
      @kolmood3798 7 місяців тому +116

      Exactly. These men are out here destroying hearts and all they keep saying is that the woman chose wrong.
      No woman is laying up with a man that she does not see a purpose with. Women date with purpose. Men do not!

    • @OpinionatedBlues
      @OpinionatedBlues 7 місяців тому +94

      It really shouldn’t be, it’s disgusting how men get passes and excuses for trifling behavior.

    • @liahlove8297
      @liahlove8297 7 місяців тому +46

      I think its more of a better to be safe than sorry something. I don't think shumake is here to give men passes. But as a woman who has also dated horrible men, I understand where you are coming from

    • @kolmood3798
      @kolmood3798 7 місяців тому

      @@liahlove8297 and I bet you’ve dated more horrible men than good? Now is that a reflection of you or a reflection of men?

    • @superodalisque
      @superodalisque 7 місяців тому +2

      The vast majority are not going to say much to the men. That's why so many women have decided to take on male energy to do it themselves as always,

  • @phoenixrising5062
    @phoenixrising5062 7 місяців тому +139

    He’s absolutely right. Dating without intention is a waste of time and leaves you with heartache and grief. If you’re not dating with the intention of finding a HEALTHY spouse to marry, DON’T DO IT!!

  • @Saveren_
    @Saveren_ 7 місяців тому +129

    That’s why my grandfather used to tell me…”never underestimate the patience of a man.”

    • @kiaj.d.5855
      @kiaj.d.5855 7 місяців тому +24

      Bruh!!! I have an ex that’s been lying in wait for years just to get another piece smh. It’s wild!

    • @ForbsieLaLa
      @ForbsieLaLa 7 місяців тому +12

      GIRL!!!!!!

    • @genovasquez8361
      @genovasquez8361 6 днів тому

      Men aren't really waiting they getting multiple women and if you so happen to give in it's great one night stand but once we get it we go ghost. Don't want nothing long term with nothing that took me more than a week to get

    • @ShaniTheBurningTree
      @ShaniTheBurningTree 6 днів тому

      @@genovasquez8361Im not sure what men but ok

    • @genovasquez8361
      @genovasquez8361 6 днів тому

      @@ShaniTheBurningTree I'm saying men ain't waiting. It's 100 women a man wants to sleep with. He is still sleeping with 9 other women why he is supposedly being patient with you.

  • @jessicatsao92
    @jessicatsao92 7 місяців тому +329

    I have to disagree on only one small thing: a guy who married you can still abandon you at the drop of a hat just because their purpose was to get your virginity or something along those lines. There are guys like that who will say and do anything to get that result. Otherwise, I completely agree with you.
    Edit: Thank you so much for the 248 likes!

    • @Mrs.Shumake
      @Mrs.Shumake 7 місяців тому +32

      You’re absolutely right!

    • @treciajohnson985
      @treciajohnson985 7 місяців тому +95

      Marrying a women just to take her virginity is crazyyyy smh

    • @sarahjaynescott545
      @sarahjaynescott545 7 місяців тому +74

      correct; but married men are less likely to do it because of SHAME which still exists as well as the financial cost. There is a reason why a man takes his wife from her father in front of her whole family and says vows.

    • @jessicatsao92
      @jessicatsao92 7 місяців тому +43

      @@sarahjaynescott545 There are lots of men who have no shame in doing that. I think you're too optimistic in how you view men of today (then again, men of the past were not much better).
      Same goes for a lot of women, though. Human nature is often not the best example in terms of selfishness and shame.

    • @laurennicole4565
      @laurennicole4565 7 місяців тому +53

      This is why we must seek God on who to marry because you are right. I always say it’s not just about getting married but being patient, having discernment, and asking The Most High to lead you to your partner because people will play a part to marry a person, even play the part of being a godly person, only to switch up after they are married. Unfortunately, I have seen an example of this; of someone who rushed to marry a woman I know, be a narcissist, and leave her abruptly after he got what he wanted from her.

  • @TBQBCollections
    @TBQBCollections 7 місяців тому +64

    This is why I’m Single and celibate

  • @Sunny-tc3ul
    @Sunny-tc3ul 7 місяців тому +88

    I have a niece who use to always ask for money. So one day she come over i looked out the window cuz I hear a car door close. So I open the door before she knocked she stopped by to "small talk." Honey not in this neighborhood... I ask her girl what you need. She wanted to know can she have some money to hold her over till next week. I look out the door this grown man is driving my niece car. I asked who's that? She said her boyfriend.... I said so you can provide your car and body but he can't provide you money nor gas. Now she's a single mom and he turned into Casper.

    • @missmarya747
      @missmarya747 7 місяців тому +15

      Same game from way back , it doesn’t change, the only thing that changes is the female/ male.,

  • @qesther1241
    @qesther1241 7 місяців тому +140

    There are probably 100s of UA-camrs and Twitter users that constantly tell women what they’re doing wrong, how to be better wives, better women, what women should do, how they should act, how they should think, dress, cook, have children.
    But I haven’t seen one UA-camr directed at how men should prepare for being a husband, a father, a leader. Every UA-camr dealing with males talks about how to manipulate women into bed, how to manipulate women and use them for resources. Every one of them.

    • @sjtalksandlife
      @sjtalksandlife 7 місяців тому +8

      Pretty much

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 7 місяців тому +29

      No disrespect but it might be down to your choice of videos that have your attention. The algorithm feeds us what it thinks we like. If you constantly watch and comment on videos directed towards women, that's what the For You page will feed you. If you start telling UA-cam you aren't interested in women-only rhetoric and give your time and attention to UA-camrs like Shumake, Ruslan KD or Jason Wilson who focus their Christian-based content towards men, you'll start to see more of that type of content. I had to do the same thing when I got tired of negative, ungodly content. The algorithm will respond pretty quickly. Hope that helps!

    • @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden
      @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden 7 місяців тому +13

      Please see Tim Ross, Hardly Initiated, Tony Gaskins, there are plenty of men talking about how men should prepare to be a husband and father. Your algorithm is only showing you males, not grown men.

    • @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden
      @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden 7 місяців тому +2

      @@dahliaherrod4301 yes Ruslan!

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 7 місяців тому +12

      Shumake addresses mens' bad behavior. Tony Gaskins. RC Bkakes. Myles Munroe, Stephen Darby... the list goes on.

  • @callisabrown6334
    @callisabrown6334 7 місяців тому +162

    Not every man that's willing to marry a woman is good though... some men will take it as far as marrying us to ruin our lives and then abandon us! Trust me....I'm going through it.

    • @ericawhitfield7876
      @ericawhitfield7876 7 місяців тому +11

      😡❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @meekcoop
      @meekcoop 7 місяців тому +14

      I went through it too, hun. I really hope you are making your exit plan.

    • @Beloved9632
      @Beloved9632 7 місяців тому +18

      💯 my ex husband was the one wanting to get married and asked me before I finished grad school. We got pregnant during our honeymoon and it was downhill from there. Verbal and physical abuse, back page, abandonment, financial issues and just flat out lies.

    • @racpatrice
      @racpatrice 7 місяців тому +11

      @@Beloved9632 I'm so sorry you went through that...

    • @Beloved9632
      @Beloved9632 7 місяців тому +1

      @@racpatrice 🙏🏾

  • @minahtheweirdo
    @minahtheweirdo 7 місяців тому +56

    I did everything the right way and i still ended up divorced with a baby. You never really know bad people until its too late

    • @sheberry8597
      @sheberry8597 7 місяців тому +17

      Was Good Yall Center? I only ask because my uncle said before a man has a relationship with God, he is of no good to any woman. When he respects God, he won't mess up in permanent ways because he is also honoring his relationship with God by honoring his wife.

    • @truthisinfinite8
      @truthisinfinite8 2 місяці тому +3

      There's no limits to how far a manipulator will go.

    • @MsBrown-ey2sc
      @MsBrown-ey2sc 6 днів тому +3

      ​@sheberry8597 preachers cheat too, it's a personality thing...

    • @user-sn1se8kh7z
      @user-sn1se8kh7z Годину тому

      @@MsBrown-ey2scthey’re actions speak about their relationship with god. Predators will hide amongst the prey.

  • @Blindfaithpodcast
    @Blindfaithpodcast 7 місяців тому +134

    As a man, I’ve made my mission to only engage with a woman in a covenant when I see myself laying my life down for her. As a man with sisters , I tell them all the time. Use discernment and see that men actions . Don’t let his sweet words dictate what you do, but his actions towards the people around him will tell you everything you need to know about that man. Sadly, many men have no self control and show their hands. Yet, many women who lacks discernment don’t see it. Finally, we both (man/woman) need to control our lust because it’s causing a lot of heartache . A man who love you like Christ love us, will show himself enough with patience .

    • @lro001
      @lro001 7 місяців тому +2

      On God my bro…I hope everything work out for you on finding your mate….

    • @pajdesign
      @pajdesign 6 місяців тому +1

      Love this. With God, your future wife will be tremendously blessed. Godspeed to you sir, and salute!🫡

  • @misslady5029
    @misslady5029 7 місяців тому +126

    Heal first before getting into a relationship 🙏🏾 ✨️ 😌.

    • @stark.edwards2068
      @stark.edwards2068 7 місяців тому +28

      Many people don't even know they need healing. 🙏🏽

    • @ninamarielavu
      @ninamarielavu 7 місяців тому +7

      Ok so u heal and they still play u its no difference men are men and u really have to make a decision to deal with them or not

    • @84mztoya
      @84mztoya 7 місяців тому +1

      How to properly heal?
      How to know when you're healed?

    • @yulnikita
      @yulnikita 7 місяців тому +6

      People can be healing until their last day. Why deny themselves of romantic companionship?

    • @stark.edwards2068
      @stark.edwards2068 7 місяців тому +7

      @yulnikita People need to 1st be in the process of self awareness & on the journey of healing or people will bring a lot of baggage & chaos into a relationship & around other people. 🙏🏽

  • @godislove1602
    @godislove1602 7 місяців тому +303

    First off she knew and acknowledged that she was not in a serious commitment while having sex. We literally create our own problems. 😢

    • @salsalee4322
      @salsalee4322 7 місяців тому +13

      This is sad :"(

    • @missmarya747
      @missmarya747 7 місяців тому +25

      Thats Sin- Sex outside of marriage.

    • @ronaldmcdonaldjuniorghost
      @ronaldmcdonaldjuniorghost 7 місяців тому

      @@missmarya747internet troll 😈 comments on UA-cam begins tonight at midnight 🕛

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 7 місяців тому +23

      People don't believe God's word is real but they're waking up!

    • @maryuhh89
      @maryuhh89 7 місяців тому

      L

  • @adaliantsiki
    @adaliantsiki 7 місяців тому +91

    You know what I've realized? Men know immediately who the one is, who their wife is going to be by the time they speak to her, they know. They snatch up her quickly, they don't wait 3-10 years to marry her. By 3 months he should already be proposing to you. That's why I don't care what a man says I know he really loves me if he will marry me and invest in my future.

    • @JWW10666
      @JWW10666 7 місяців тому +39

      Most men know if a woman is wife material, however not all men are ready or suitable for a wife. That's the difference. I propose to my wife just 3 months of meeting her because I was ready for marriage.

    • @preyonce
      @preyonce 6 місяців тому +6

      @@JWW10666That’s good. Most men aren’t ready for marriage. Thanks for sharing.

    • @thrill102
      @thrill102 5 місяців тому +11

      3 months is really fast to get engaged. What I’ve noticed is that most unsuccessful marriages occur because both people don’t know each other well enough. They say the “honeymoon phase”of a relationship lasts up to 2 years so it’s a good idea to not get married until after the 2 year mark. If someone is wearing a mask it will slip during this time period. It’s also a good idea to spend multiple holidays with this person and their family to see what the dynamics are within the family and how they were raised/what they are used to. This will help determine compatibility long term.

    • @JWW10666
      @JWW10666 5 місяців тому

      @@thrill102 There is no secret recipe for a successful relationship. Regardless of how long you've been together you'll eventually have issues in the relationship, you'll eventually encounter differences, and eventually encounter areas where you are incompatible with each other. The deciding factor that will determine the success of your relationship is your joint willingness to overcome obstacles as they appear and doing so I will strengthen the bond you have with your partner.
      The greatest tragedy I see in people is believing they can find perfection in a partner, people like that seem to be in a perpetual states of singleness and often rotate between multiple partners when dating.

    • @jazzdaagreatestt3645
      @jazzdaagreatestt3645 6 днів тому

      3 months is way too fast

  • @ssbarchive_
    @ssbarchive_ 7 місяців тому +30

    Big key-takeaway: if a man ain't ready to marry you, why are you devoted to getting him access to parts of yourself that you may regret

  • @denesejamerson2356
    @denesejamerson2356 7 місяців тому +108

    I've watched the struggles of other women going through childbirth alone and knew I didn't want none of that! And I let men I date know I ain't falling in that same trap. Them "thangs" kept on moving!

    • @bonafide_forever
      @bonafide_forever 7 місяців тому +15

      Them THANGS!!!!❤❤❤

    • @Key-Key444
      @Key-Key444 7 місяців тому

      😂
      It’s like they’re on a hunt to impregnate and keep it pushing.

    • @cupcakepatrice8418
      @cupcakepatrice8418 7 місяців тому +9

      I went through childbirth alone THE MOST HURTFUL EXPERIENCE! The most embarrassing experience I’ve been through! I don’t wish that on NO BLACK WOMAN! The

    • @Key-Key444
      @Key-Key444 7 місяців тому

      @@cupcakepatrice8418 💔I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. I had a very similar experience with my 2nd son and was done. No one should ever have to go through that❤️‍🩹

    • @priscillabaileymusic
      @priscillabaileymusic 7 місяців тому +3

      Same. I can't do it. I've seen too much suffering

  • @KeyisGodsdaughter
    @KeyisGodsdaughter 7 місяців тому +75

    I agree. Too many people are looking for someone to heal them and make THEM happy. (Selfishness) A person is supposed to add to your life. Arguments should not make you feel emotionally stressed or drained.

  • @simmons4690
    @simmons4690 7 місяців тому +41

    It makes me mad how some of our brothers act and talk about this subject, men are never told to control themselves.

    • @ephraimakoto3657
      @ephraimakoto3657 6 місяців тому

      Men do not gain anything by being honest. More like get divorced and paying alimony 😂😂😂

    • @simmons4690
      @simmons4690 6 місяців тому

      @@ephraimakoto3657 stop picking women who look good and are good in bed, start there!!!!!

  • @toyap5225
    @toyap5225 7 місяців тому +130

    It is so important to talk about intention when it comes to dating. If you want a relationship, it should be verbally communicated. The point of communication is to eliminate confusion. You can move on from people looking for something you’re not. People may try to deceive you but that’s when you use your discernment. Praying for discernment is important. Be careful and take your time as you’re getting to know someone. Everyone stay blessed. 🙏🙏

    • @stark.edwards2068
      @stark.edwards2068 7 місяців тому +9

      People who are toxic don't even tell the the truth when you have important open communication conversations. It's a waste of time if you are not aware if you need healing & you believe them due to this & the other person is toxic & vice versa. 🙏🏽

    • @JWW10666
      @JWW10666 7 місяців тому +1

      There is also another element to your statement that I personally experienced. Sometimes, you and the other person may want the same thing but you have a different vision on how you will achieve it. This difference in views can destroy a relationship.

    • @simonejohnson2983
      @simonejohnson2983 7 місяців тому

      @@stark.edwards2068 Just experienced this. Made my intentions clear w/a guy, and he stated he wanted the same. Several months in when it was time to get serious/exclusive, he stated he wanted his freedom. It’s important to have boundaries, watch for consistency, and have timelines to prevent urself from wasting time. And don’t give too much of urself until they’ve proven they can’t at least meet these 3 things.

    • @simonejohnson2983
      @simonejohnson2983 7 місяців тому

      @@JWW10666 Facts.

    • @toyap5225
      @toyap5225 7 місяців тому +1

      @@stark.edwards2068 Great response. Self-awareness is so important.

  • @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden
    @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden 7 місяців тому +68

    Hey even talking about marriage is not enough. These men have no shame nowadays. I’ve had plenty of men talk to me about marriage and how that looks like and what’s gonna happen leading up and the moment they figure out you serious about abstinence they out. They will say ANYTHING up to and INCLUDING talking about marriage to get with you. Wait until you got the wedding ring and walk down the aisle ladies!!!

    • @Emptytopfloor
      @Emptytopfloor 7 місяців тому +14

      By ring you mean wedding band or engagement ring. I hate engagements. Specially the longer ones. They seem like placeholders. Without a marriage certificate, there’s no true consequence for misconducts such as abuse, cheating etc.

    • @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden
      @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden 7 місяців тому +2

      @@Emptytopfloor it’s more so when you lay the boundaries along the lines of ~ our engagement has to be in front of all our friends and family, social ties to it. If there’s abuse the consequences is the police get involved or the dad or big bro knock some sense into em. If it ends there are social consequences to it but I meant marriage by the ring. Sorry for the confusion

    • @Blindfaithpodcast
      @Blindfaithpodcast 7 місяців тому +15

      It’s the opposite for me , I’m looking for abstinence. I just need the partner to commit to courting season of the relationship I’m getting to know each other. There’s no better feeling than knowing someone intimately in Spirit and truth and not fleshly. The joy from that is just pure .

    • @Emptytopfloor
      @Emptytopfloor 7 місяців тому +2

      @@Blindfaithpodcast great! I’m cheering for you. Prepare to get ghosted by (put a high number here) 😊

    • @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden
      @mostbeautifulbelovedgarden 7 місяців тому +7

      @@Blindfaithpodcast I agree courting is what we should be telling the youth to do. Getting to know someone in friendship and fellowship and when you’re ready for marriage they could be a potential . People doing it starting from the outside and going in after the fact. Should have known that person spirit before marriage was ever on the table.

  • @tishinahoneyblue5355
    @tishinahoneyblue5355 7 місяців тому +88

    Talking about marriage?
    How about picking out rings?
    How about planning the location?
    How about meeting extending family?
    How about mixing lives together?
    AND then being abandoned!
    Because it happened to me
    And he left like it was nothing. Told me he is a sociopath or psychopath afterwards.
    Mental illness and personality disorders aren’t always prevalent. There is no rest for the wicked

    • @ShandaP018
      @ShandaP018 7 місяців тому +16

      Whoever diagnosed him gave him an out. I'm sorry for your experience. He has a possession. Don't let science fool you. Issues we have with people are spiritual.

    • @tishinahoneyblue5355
      @tishinahoneyblue5355 7 місяців тому

      @@ShandaP018 it wasn’t an official diagnosis. And I know he is possessed by a demon. He has a weird aura around him now and has not seemed happy in a long time

    • @shauntikayvette
      @shauntikayvette 7 місяців тому +6

      You are so true, I had children with Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, he was entangled in my and the kids lives and one day after having my daughter when I decided to respect myself and didn’t want to accept his disrespect anymore he left and would not see them again. He went from a very present “loving” parent to ghost.

    • @JWW10666
      @JWW10666 7 місяців тому +8

      It happens to men too because I personally experienced this with my first ex girlfriend.
      It's important to take as much time as you need to heal, before moving on and finding someone who is truly meant for you.
      Sometimes, the wrong person has to leave before the right person can walk into your life and you want to work on becoming the best version of yourself before meeting them.

    • @tishinahoneyblue5355
      @tishinahoneyblue5355 7 місяців тому

      @@JWW10666 I’m sorry you went through that. I know the pain that treatment can cause. Thank you for the advice and many blessings to you brother!🤍🙏🏽✨

  • @tishinahoneyblue5355
    @tishinahoneyblue5355 7 місяців тому +35

    Saying men will say whatever is not an excuse. Stop saying men, it’s not men it’s sociopaths. Just because so many men have personality disorders doesn’t mean it’s a male thing.
    This is a wicked way of living.
    Are women supposed to want a man so bad we have to learn psychology? It’s simply not worth the effort I swear. Why should we want mean so badly that we risk our sanity for this.
    Ladies save your peace!!!

    • @sbusisiweshaba1715
      @sbusisiweshaba1715 7 місяців тому +5

      Yes, I learnt a bit of psychology and just how to spot redflags and I'm still learning. Vetting needs to be ruthless, which is very important and will give women peace, because most women still want companionship at the end of the day and most people miss a lot of redflags.

    • @leaellas8400
      @leaellas8400 7 місяців тому +1

      It's a male thing 🤣 Don't be willfully obtuse.

  • @laquitacollins5147
    @laquitacollins5147 7 місяців тому +23

    The other day I was over at my friend's house and she was asking me why don't I have a boyfriend. Don't you want kids. Don't you want to get married. I told her I don't want kids I am good right now I don't need no Dusty man trying to take over my life and my home which I have in my name. And God will find me that person that I meant to be with not just some random guy. She kind of upset me by saying ask me those questions because she always want to be in a relationship I really don't care but she's always goes for those Bad Boys Dusty dudes

    • @nayjavu
      @nayjavu День тому +1

      Seems like the questions she asked were general questions friends or women you associate with may ask. What I spotted is your response being only how it relates to a negative dude, as if that's your only option. "I will when I find the right guy." Would have sufficed. But you saying you don't want no dusty dude is a weird response and it makes you sound like you've been through some things. I say that to say...the negative way you think about men may have some impact on you finding this "right guy" for you because you're going to be too bitter to notice him.

  • @123gollc9
    @123gollc9 7 місяців тому +48

    🚨Sooo did anybody else catch the sad statement that she basically prayed to an ancestral “god” / “god” of the dead to take/kill her unborn child and days later sounds like she miscarried. She said she prayed they would do what she couldn’t which to me sounded like an abortion . So due to her/ their irresponsibly and sin she prayed a demon “god” kill her unborn and it obliged.
    Lots to unpack here but out of everything this made me stop in my tracks. Lots of our people (more than I think people realize) are dabbling or fully in witchcraft. Many people I know have dated seriously someone that had a different religious belief or didn’t believe in Jesus at all but they did themselves. Unequally yoked! Lots of men out here having sex with women that worship demons and vice versa.

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 7 місяців тому +1

      Yeah I noticed that too and I'm surprised Shumake didn't catch that. A lot of black Americans are into African-based religions in an attempt to get back in touch with our ancestral roots. I understand the desire, but this is incredibly dangerous. All the Africans I know have very clearly stated its a terrible idea tapping into that type of spiritually. Witchcraft and ancestral worship is nothing more than an attempt to control nature and usurp God's authority. What they don't understand is they have now given demons authority over their lives. My prayers are that this young lady will wake up and turn to Jesus, the true source of all power.

    • @I.Am.RosaMarie
      @I.Am.RosaMarie 7 місяців тому +1

      👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @cherankimiorak1739
      @cherankimiorak1739 5 днів тому +1

      Did you notice she even had a slight smile when she just about said she had blood 5 days later…. so demonic she looked odd at the beginning of the video!

    • @user-vp6tg3ic9h
      @user-vp6tg3ic9h 2 дні тому

      @@cherankimiorak1739lmao. Y’all will see anything 😂

  • @Infrazale
    @Infrazale 7 місяців тому +30

    This doesn't happen in cultures where marriages are arranged in your early 20s, by mom and dad. 4% divorce rate with no prior baggage.

    • @kiaj.d.5855
      @kiaj.d.5855 7 місяців тому +7

      I have a friend who had an arranged marriage. They are happy too!

    • @chchchshia
      @chchchshia 7 місяців тому +10

      I hear a lot women talk abt the domestic violence in their arranged marriages. Family looks the other way.

    • @kiaj.d.5855
      @kiaj.d.5855 7 місяців тому +4

      @@chchchshia I could see that happening.

    • @user-vp6tg3ic9h
      @user-vp6tg3ic9h 2 дні тому

      Primitive.

  • @missmarya747
    @missmarya747 7 місяців тому +11

    Just because they marry doesn’t mean anything. There’s more to it than just marriage.

  • @androyd87tv
    @androyd87tv 7 місяців тому +16

    Her ancestors? Then she asked God? She confused out here. Our God first before you try to do ANYTHING else.

    • @CharrrN1
      @CharrrN1 7 місяців тому +3

      Precisely! That’s what I thought - there is too much confusion in this world 😢 what are you’re ancestors going to do as if they are superior to God their literal creator smh 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @androyd87tv
      @androyd87tv 7 місяців тому +2

      @@CharrrN1 All they have to do is read the bible for real. They’d find out the truth but no they wanna make social media posts and live life like they know. I pray their eyes are opened. The lord say my people perish from lack of knowledge. Smh

    • @CharrrN1
      @CharrrN1 7 місяців тому

      Precisely! @@androyd87tv

  • @christineallen450
    @christineallen450 7 місяців тому +10

    Many people create their own demise. I m 54 & I move with purpose & refuse to deal with Any 1 period with No Plan. No conversation & sex is definitely a NO!

  • @ButterSugarBaked
    @ButterSugarBaked 7 місяців тому +32

    Honestly…there’s no guarantee to anything. If a man really wants you he’ll lie, for a long time, to get what he wants.
    The best thing we as Christians can do is pray to God for discernment, and to REALLY get to know people. You have to go through things with people IN PERSON not just over the internet-(‘cause a lot of people date long term online) to see how they react in a variety of situations.
    Marriage isn’t a guarantee either because look at many people’s
    Husbands who cheat, RELIGIOUSLY.
    Just gotta trust in God and stay prayed up.

    • @candyDander
      @candyDander 7 місяців тому +1

      This is spot on advice.

  • @melanietaylor988
    @melanietaylor988 7 місяців тому +23

    I’m at the point where I ‘like’ the video before even watching them because I know you’re coming with a work from The Word.

  • @liabw05
    @liabw05 7 місяців тому +57

    But marriage is not a guarantee in this day and age 😢

    • @alwaysright9099
      @alwaysright9099 7 місяців тому +25

      And having babies outside of marriage is definitely “ not a guarantee in this day and age”

    • @missmarya747
      @missmarya747 7 місяців тому +11

      In any age.

    • @cynthiadickerson5403
      @cynthiadickerson5403 7 місяців тому +17

      Marriage is not a guarantee with an unequally yoked person. The majority of the relationships are void while in progress, and that is why they end.

    • @CharrrN1
      @CharrrN1 7 місяців тому

      @@cynthiadickerson5403FACTS!

    • @kimberly0717
      @kimberly0717 7 місяців тому

      @@cynthiadickerson5403we were both Christian believers and still divorced. I refuse to accept bad treatment, we tried or I should say I tried while he continued to manipulate and I got tired because God did not make me to be emotionally abused. Life is too short.

  • @taahiramcgee
    @taahiramcgee 7 місяців тому +18

    Here's the thing, we are always talking about readiness for marriage but since when does that mean that you have to be 30.People used to get married straight out of high school and then it went to early 20s. So why is it now after living all of this life alone society says your ready at close to or above 30.If you look at the trends you will see that people have been getting married later only due to social constructs. People keep making the age of maturity older and older so there is no incentive to start your life together with someone as a young person. We need to teach that better. I talk to my son about this. He's 16. At this age the pressure is on to have sex. My point is why is there pressure to have sex but not be in an actual relationship. This is not saying that I want him in a relationship but I do tell him that if he likes a girl then slow down get to really know her as friends. Make sure that you are actually liking this person and not just sexually attracted to them. I also tell him that marriage is the goal. There are guys who were bought up like this but what they find is that other people don't have as pure intentions and this is how foolishness begins. A lot of our problems with readiness for relationships is upbringing and being disappointed in the dating market. We have to do better.

    • @PhoenixRising82672
      @PhoenixRising82672 7 місяців тому +1

      Women have a biological clock that's why 30 is important

  • @phoenixrising7922
    @phoenixrising7922 7 місяців тому +8

    Pray 4 The Spirit of DISCERNMENT 🙏🏾✨✨✨♥️

  • @RiriLove88
    @RiriLove88 7 місяців тому +10

    Yes let’s take it back to God instead of getting caught up in all this red pill, blue pill, pink pill nonsense so Amen to that! 🙏🏽 🙌🏽

  • @alicia_nicole
    @alicia_nicole 7 місяців тому +48

    I dont identify as a Christian but all of your videos ive seen are still 100% on point. The principles these are based on is solid

    • @t_harris2_489
      @t_harris2_489 7 місяців тому +1

      I agree.

    • @randomstuff2650
      @randomstuff2650 7 місяців тому +1

      What do you identify as?

    • @ronaldmcdonaldjuniorghost
      @ronaldmcdonaldjuniorghost 7 місяців тому +1

      Internet troll 😈 comments begin tonight at midnight 🕛

    • @QueenEsther414
      @QueenEsther414 7 місяців тому +1

      You should be identifying as a born again Christian (Acts 2:38). There is a difference

  • @divineenergy6305
    @divineenergy6305 7 місяців тому +5

    This the truth. I did it one time and been traumatized since I will never trust a man with empty promises 😢 ladies protect yourself

    • @sheberry8597
      @sheberry8597 7 місяців тому

      Girl, right.. almost a complete waste of time had it not been for my baby. I love my baby.

  • @shauntikayvette
    @shauntikayvette 7 місяців тому +17

    I appreciate this honesty. A man will say and do almost anything. I was in this situation and he played his role for so long; ingrained himself into my life, around my family, brought me around etc. This dude fed my delusions that he was locked in until we got pregnant.

    • @queenroaster8704
      @queenroaster8704 6 місяців тому

      Thats fucked up. He should be ashamed of himself. You deserve better

  • @vanaphill2454
    @vanaphill2454 7 місяців тому +5

    Manhood is based on willingness to provide and his finances not their sexual prowess.

  • @kyleeharper639
    @kyleeharper639 7 місяців тому +12

    Marriage without God means nothing! It’s married men in the clubs and cheating. Only be with a man who’s heart is seeking The Most High. Who can have a covenant with THE MOAT HIGH. abusive men will bait you into marriage as well

  • @lro001
    @lro001 7 місяців тому +9

    I don’t see any victims in this….people just need to STOP with the excuses and START getting in the Word of the Bible.

  • @LC_H
    @LC_H 7 місяців тому +5

    ❤Most of the mistakes we make are actually bad choices, (not) mistakes.

    • @sheberry8597
      @sheberry8597 7 місяців тому +1

      Exactly..poor choices because my baby aint never a mistake.

  • @mnight30
    @mnight30 7 місяців тому +5

    One way to stop this madness is to choose SELF. Stop playing Russian Roulette live's, health & finance.

  • @evasccl7846
    @evasccl7846 7 місяців тому +10

    Amen Shumake!! May we pray for wisdom, understanding, knowledge and discernment so we walk in the path God already prepared beforehand for us to walk in and thrive, shine and be blessed and a blessing to others.! Thank you for making this video 🌷

    • @sofiamafumba
      @sofiamafumba 6 місяців тому +1

      Amen! Beautifully written ❤

  • @CharrrN1
    @CharrrN1 7 місяців тому +6

    You need to do atleast 21 days of praying and fasting before you marry a man or woman. Preferably no food just water. Get on your knees and pray before Jesus! God will reveal who they are to you. You DO NOT move till you hear God. You cannot make the decision to marry a person and then ask God to bless it because in your flesh you think he/she has showed you the right signs. We do not know the heart of human beings ONLY JESUS does. Trust me that is the only way. Go into isolation and go and seek God BEFORE, NOT after you make the decision. Make sure you are also silent before God, so you can hear him clearly also.
    Some things are only answered by prayer & fasting and I believe 100% marriage is one of them.
    Yes, God will help you even after you make the wrong decision about your spouse, (if you didn’t ask him first) - once you repent. However, to just avoid this disaster and to get the covering from God in the beginning, just ask him in your prayer closet ALONE and consecrate yourself before him. And don’t have sex outside of marriage. That’s the secret to God covering your marriage. Yes, some disagreements will arise in marriages but ultimately God will be in the centre of it because you put him FIRST! Mathew 6:33

  • @arbitrarylib
    @arbitrarylib 7 місяців тому +6

    I've had that happen to me too, a man not look at me when telling him something important (not that). So hurtful.

  • @titilayothegreat
    @titilayothegreat 7 місяців тому +4

    I got married he still had a whole other relationship and she was pregnant . he married me so I wouldn't leave

  • @dannyphantom3090
    @dannyphantom3090 7 місяців тому +14

    Videos like this definitely makes me feel less self concious about waiting til marriage.

  • @klabeaud
    @klabeaud 7 місяців тому +5

    I’m a pk. I love the fact that you are young and cover topics that are up to date but the advice is bible based. Thanks for your work.

  • @rubythompson6501
    @rubythompson6501 7 місяців тому +4

    Marriage is not a guarantee but I would rather be married and pleasing to god before I just go around sleeping with someone. If they want to go out there and break the convent that they made before you and god let them do it. You should never regret getting married to someone because at the end of the day you did your part. If they decide they wanna leave you after they find someone else they like or they just grew tired of you all of a sudden let them go. It hurts but you just sit back and watch the blessings you get from being the one true person god wants you to be and watch what happens to them. That’s when your on the right path in life period.

  • @nicolem5626
    @nicolem5626 7 місяців тому +7

    105k subs!!! I remember when you had under 20k! Good job!!!!

  • @bd10232003
    @bd10232003 7 місяців тому +1

    I completely approve of this message!

  • @MsVaughnKitty
    @MsVaughnKitty 7 місяців тому +4

    Wow. She seems so sad. I pray she recovers from this experience, learns, and soars. ❤

  • @tangiemo
    @tangiemo 7 місяців тому +1

    Blessings Mr Shumake Way🙏🏾💕. ALL TRUTHS!!! And I will continue to send my 19yr old daughter your videos

  • @Key-Key444
    @Key-Key444 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you. Breaking generational cycles day by day. Thank you for the gems 💎

  • @jenniferwilliams1858
    @jenniferwilliams1858 7 місяців тому +1

    Powerful message.

  • @NBnNC
    @NBnNC 6 місяців тому

    Maaaan, you preaching and tellin' the truth - thank u! and God bless u!!

  • @shauntikayvette
    @shauntikayvette 7 місяців тому +3

    I was so selfish and now my children are paying for my bad decisions. I do not regret them at all but I regret they want and do not have a relationship with their father because one day he left and decided not to see them anymore when I decided to respect myself.

  • @Classyblackqueen
    @Classyblackqueen 7 місяців тому +1

    I watch one video and I subscribe to your channel. Love your channel. Love, your messages. Thank God for you. Thank God that she was obedient to start this channel. I know that is a lot of men and women that need this. Be blessed.

  • @joycenash8271
    @joycenash8271 7 місяців тому +3

    It's beyond ugly. And it sometimes beyond disrespectful.
    I never seen nothing like this.

    • @kiaj.d.5855
      @kiaj.d.5855 7 місяців тому

      I’m glad I’m out the dating scene! I hear horror stories!!!!!!!

    • @joycenash8271
      @joycenash8271 7 місяців тому +1

      @kiaj.d.5855 I took myself off the market.
      I'm not being bothered. You have all sorts who want you to be in a situationship.
      Not relationship, situations.
      Don't want anything whole, organic, meaningful, and right.
      Just want that good old-fashioned "let's make love," which isn't love but lust.
      Let's make lust.

  • @shamecawilliams8848
    @shamecawilliams8848 7 місяців тому +3

    The truth!💯💯💯

  • @SadD3adGirl
    @SadD3adGirl 7 місяців тому +11

    Careful what you ask for "god please take my baby back " Careful cause you might regret it

    • @123gollc9
      @123gollc9 7 місяців тому +5

      This was a literal sacrifice to the “ancestors” . She prayed.. what type of prayer was she doing?! Onto an altar? Her definition of prayer and our definition of prayer may be two separate things. Either was she offered her child to them! Sad thing is she won’t stop sining and be celibate! 😮‍💨😡 same way the Average woman that’s gotten an abortion has not repented!

  • @alwaysright9099
    @alwaysright9099 7 місяців тому +1

    I love your content !!!! Thank you 😊

  • @user-is4tz8mq3x
    @user-is4tz8mq3x 4 місяці тому

    I just wanna say thank you for your channel. How you keep your voice in line with the Word is really necessary in this world we live in.
    God bless.

  • @thems.harrisshow2160
    @thems.harrisshow2160 4 дні тому

    Everything you said is so true! I learned this the hard way.

  • @Yahuahisking
    @Yahuahisking 7 місяців тому +5

    In the end everyone has to workout their very own salvation and Yahuah is gonna be the righteous judge… and some of the way some not all but some of these men are leading and thinking they will have to answer for that and be harshly judge for this wickedness.

  • @salsalee4322
    @salsalee4322 7 місяців тому +5

    This is use to be common sense 😊 thanks ❤

  • @perrismccracken
    @perrismccracken 20 годин тому

    Amazing message! Lots of wisdom thank you.

  • @nikkibae223
    @nikkibae223 12 днів тому

    Hi, I really enjoy your videos. They’ve been keeping me intact. Outside of this most recent man I’ve been dating online (we were raised around each others families & have had each other on social media for about 7 years so he isn’t someone unfamiliar), I dated but not with the intent of having my beliefs based on the Bible. Once I met him that’s what our talking stage was based off of (the Bible). He flaked on me 4 times after 5 months of talking and he really made me believe he was a man of God & that everything we promised each other we were going to fulfill. We touched on a lot of topics & had the hard conversations also. Spending an hour on the phone every day to him eventually standing me up feeling like I deserved it.
    I am happy to know that God is here to help me through this & your UA-cam videos provide the mental/emotional support not to completely give up on relationships & marriage and a happy home. Thank you for your content it’s really life saving.

  • @indyd9322
    @indyd9322 2 дні тому +1

    He touched on many good points!
    The only problem is: where are you going to find all these men who want to marry women and are even willing to wait on sex?
    Also, back in the day, courtship periods were short, so you didn't have to wait that long for sex. Nowadays, people may date for years before getting married. Whose going to wait for years?

    • @leaellas8400
      @leaellas8400 17 годин тому

      Thank you! Men are given the benefit of the doubt from society, that usually doesn't align with the reality of how they think.

  • @SadD3adGirl
    @SadD3adGirl 7 місяців тому +2

    "Scratch that itch"

  • @UnpredictableAri
    @UnpredictableAri 7 днів тому

    Great video

  • @nihedmrz7823
    @nihedmrz7823 5 місяців тому +1

    You're simply amazing man it's hard to find guys who think like you in today's age especially in the west (considering all the societal circumstances and the media propaganda going hard on you guys! ) or at least not on the internet talking real about stuff . I can feel you're very sincere may Allah guide you to the straight path ✨️ peace be upon you brother

  • @shantaloves9043
    @shantaloves9043 7 місяців тому

    Facts!

  • @feliciadance1715
    @feliciadance1715 7 місяців тому +1

    This‼️‼️‼️ I had to live and learn… but now that I know… I KNOW🙌🏼
    That being said, it took me building a relationship with God to truly understand this and my worth! He helped me see who He called me to be. Thank you God❤️ He’s a GOOD GOOD FATHER! God’s way is the ONLY way ♥️

  • @loveyb9090
    @loveyb9090 7 місяців тому +3

    I believe marriage is worth the wait. The whole abandonment in marriage issue truthfully a cover for alot of women. The majority of blk women (75%)never been married before having children. How can you know if you never tried and tried with a healthy man ...not a man who you waited on for 5 yrs or more.Ppl day that based off the minority women it happened to.

  • @user-yk9sk7pg6v
    @user-yk9sk7pg6v 9 днів тому

    thank you, sir

  • @cakesinthecity
    @cakesinthecity 7 місяців тому +2

    Lol love it, lets take the God pill. Lord may this man’s message reach the hearts and minds of the masses, all our sons and daughters.

  • @stephanies2046
    @stephanies2046 7 місяців тому

    True Facts

  • @masiahb.2838
    @masiahb.2838 7 місяців тому +1

    Sometimes they play the role up into marriage and you figure out their not ready

  • @cwhite8860
    @cwhite8860 7 місяців тому +3

    JESUS JESUS JESUS, please please help these young women to renew their mind and to save their selves until they know the men they are dating and most importantly marriage. There are ways to handle these games that are being played.

  • @marthahammons4644
    @marthahammons4644 7 місяців тому +1

    It takes two

  • @timothyumunna4605
    @timothyumunna4605 7 місяців тому

    🔥

  • @sjtalksandlife
    @sjtalksandlife 7 місяців тому

    Yep..that happened to me..not exactly the same way, but similar. I raised my son by myself..in and our of court with that joker, only for him to scam his way out of paying child support..😡😩

    • @84mztoya
      @84mztoya 7 місяців тому +1

      How was he able to get out of child support?

    • @sjtalksandlife
      @sjtalksandlife 7 місяців тому

      @@84mztoya cant tell that..I dont want to give other men tips on here..😉

  • @LifeisaBeautifulting
    @LifeisaBeautifulting 7 днів тому +1

    What's between a woman's legs is NOT their most precious possession. My mom taught me the same thing, and I ended up staying with the guy who took my virginity, even though he was abusive, because I thought he had taken away my value. You can preach sexual discipline without saying that bs!

  • @nellygirl
    @nellygirl 7 місяців тому

    Amen

  • @sirdean3380
    @sirdean3380 7 місяців тому

    Dealing with all of that right now bro family separated

  • @TheWindingRoad1991
    @TheWindingRoad1991 7 місяців тому

    💯

  • @MathMadeSimple777
    @MathMadeSimple777 6 місяців тому +1

    I wish I would have heard this growing up. I was raped my first few weeks of college and it was because I wasn’t accustomed to the attention I was recieving and I still blame myself for everything that came with it. List, abortions, low self esteem and broken relationships. Now I’m 31 and dating but not married but I’ve been proposed to two times.

  • @Beswift1989
    @Beswift1989 6 місяців тому

    These topics give me anxiety. My parents were friends first. Geesh it’s all too much. I pray 🙏🏾.

  • @ChavisGreenard
    @ChavisGreenard 5 місяців тому

    💯💯💯💯

  • @mr.brooks9802
    @mr.brooks9802 7 місяців тому +2

    I don’t remember Adam or Eve going to the courthouse or signing any paperwork

    • @CharrrN1
      @CharrrN1 7 місяців тому

      Ignorant comment. Before Adam & Eve committed sin, God ordained their union! - it was the sin that caused the confusion. In the Bible explicitly God tells us to not have sex outside marriage to protect us, and the MAJORITY of people who do this their lives are upside down even celebrities with all their money. So God wants us to do it otherwise it wouldn’t be clearly written in the Bible. That’s the end of the discussion it’s not a debate!

  • @bornaries7213
    @bornaries7213 7 місяців тому +5

    I really feel sorry for these new generation dating each other because the dating scene unfortunately is all messed in a major way.
    It's hard to really tell the intentions of someone even though you may vet them.
    They may have been in relationship with you months to years on end and will eventually show their true colors after you have invested all of your energy and your love and your care for that person!
    That is a lot to gamble on all for the sake of wanting a relationship and or marriage and children with someone.
    I'm just glad that myself I am at a point in my life where I don't feel like giving my energy only to find out years down the road that that person really wasn't in it the way I was and really probably never even liked me.
    I'm okay with being single and preserving my energy for my family and the friends that I have in my life that have proven to me that they are here for me.
    It's unfortunate but it is what it is.

  • @theresac.6869
    @theresac.6869 6 місяців тому

    That court order when the kid doesn’t wanna go…my ten year old is living that now…smh…

  • @pat4502
    @pat4502 7 місяців тому +1

    Amen amen amen 🫡

  • @goodtrouble841
    @goodtrouble841 7 місяців тому +1

    12:39 no shade, but does he eventually get to exploring more than just 2 sentences of the video? been tryna hang in there but really want to hear the root of the actual topic b4 giving up. thanks

  • @5050TM
    @5050TM 6 місяців тому +1

    Women have to be careful even marrying. You can be a married single mother. A lot of these men ain't dust no matter what. It's unfortunate that there isn't a movement to correct men besides Jordan Peterson. He's a godly man who tells men to correct their bs and is faithful and loving to his wife.

  • @cookiesandpie4837
    @cookiesandpie4837 7 місяців тому

    I know couples who had multiple children, purchased a house together then got married after being together over a decade.

  • @caterine4604
    @caterine4604 7 місяців тому +1

    I personally will never have sex before marriage. It takes me a lot to trust guys. I would need at least 1-2 years with just dates to actually know him enough to start a relationship.

    • @ButterCookie1984
      @ButterCookie1984 5 місяців тому +1

      You don't have to date 1-2 yrs to know what you need to know. That's too much time potentially wasted. If you date the right way, you know in under a year.

  • @Blsd_Ad_Ed
    @Blsd_Ad_Ed 7 місяців тому +2

    👋🏽🙏🏽✌🏽