when i was 11, i had a girlfriend. i mean, i had literally no idea what i was doing, i just heard a lot about boys having girlfriends, and somehow, me and a girl from school were kinda joking about her becoming my girlfriend. we were kids. we had no idea what that meant, and we barely kissed. i said out loud to my family "i have a girlfriend now", and they screamed in glory. it was like i said "oh we're rich now i found gold in our house". i literally had no idea what exactly my sexuality was, but i was glorified as being manly "too early", and they started making very adult jokes about sex, which i didn't understand at all, i thought sex only happened when adults wanted to have kids. when i was 16, i had a boyfriend. i knew exactly what was happening, and i was very, very happy about it, feeling ok with myself the first time in my life. i already understood what sex was about, and had my head wrapped around the idea of not being straight. me and my boyfriend would kiss and make out frequently, and i was ok with it. i said out loud to my family "i have a boyfriend now", and they screamed in horror. it was like i said "im dead and this is my ghost". i literally had everything figured out about my sexuality for the first time in my life, but they said i was "confused", and that it was "too early" for me to know what kind of person i'm attracted to. they don't give a shit about innocence, or kids. when they say "oh i'm worried about queer knowledge influencing kids", what they really mean is "I WANT A WORLD WHERE YOU DON'T EXIST. I WANT LESS PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN THE WORLD". and we can't react accordingly. we can't defend ourselves properly, or else they'll pull the victim card "oh no my religious freedom". they know it's war, they know they have the upper hand. what they don't know, is that this war is gonna cost the very thing they say they want to protect: family.
I am very sorry that you had to experience this from your own family. It is bad enough to get it from peers, teachers and TV, but family is supposed to be the bedrock that keeps you upright in the face of adversity. I hope you found good friends to provide that for you.
thanks. i am 27 years old now, and things are a little bit different. they still dont accept me, but they tolerate me. i mean... its something. my boyfriend comes home. they usually leave or just shut themselves on their bedroom. i think they are afraid of seeing us kiss or something and be disgusted by that. its not perfect, but it isnt as torturous as it used to be. anyways, thanks.@@RexxyRobin
They claim that queer literature is porn, but they have yet to ban any Twilight books, Sweet Valley High, or other books that actually have sexual content and girls dating grown men.
Innocence, what the fuck do they know about innocence. Y'know what destroys innocence? Having your classmates attacked. Having an adult tell you your parents haven't paid for lunch and not eating for 18 hours straight. Having to constantly defend who you are to bullys and adults who say your very existence is a lie. I can't. Isn't the whole point of "protect the children" the fact that kids can be anything? Millions of possibilities for every child, but not the weird ones, appearantly!
Why, why, why hasn't Chaya been sued into oblivion yet?! With all the harm she's done I feel like she could be on the receiving end of a massive class action at this point.
@@dancincoolkid I know, I know. But, I mean, with all the karma coming around for dipshits like Alex Jones and all... I feel like it could still happen. I choose to hope! :P
On top of all of these right wing free speech freaks having her back financially, I don’t really think she can be held liable in court because she doesn’t explicitly say anything to promote violence. She definitely knows her fans will incite violence (example bomb threats) but unless she explicitly says anything, I don’t think she can be sued unfortunately
@@nadiaz721 maybe with a very very good lawyer...? even if it doesn't, her twitter account should definitely get shut down by a judge for being the firestarter of it all
For fucks sake that school itself is at fault for not calling an ambulance and cops. I had the cops called on me in school as a young queer kid for threatening to kill my bully in response to her shoving me. How tf did nobody get called??
Agreed, it's horrific that no one called 911. I'm sure there's a cynical policy somewhere about calling an ambulance and liability and insurance, but beneath all the excuses it's the same callous denial of responsibility. They're only responsible for protecting the status quo 🙄
@marijaynebiggans6322 Nex blacked out during the beating though, any source will tell you that you need to go to hospital immediately in those types of cases because it could indicate brain injury. The school should have called the ambulance immediately
"What my father and mother were protecting was not my rights as a child, but the sexual and gender norms that had been painfully inculcated in them, through a social and educational system that suppressed any form of dissidence by threats, intimidation, punishment, and death. I had a father and a mother but neither of them could protect my right to free self-determination of gender and sexuality" Paul B. Preciado ('Who Defends the Queer Child?' 2013)
it won't translate well into any natural language I know but it works in my personal conlang and I'll try my best to explain it (it's a phrase I use a lot to explain phenomena like this): "parents love Their Children™ but not their children" (an even easier phrasing but more personal would be "my parents love their child but not necessarily me") what I mean by that is: parents generally love their children, that's their role as parents and most parents accept that role, but they only love the concept of the role of "their child", not necessarily whom this phrase refers to, their love only works as long as you play the role of "their child" (that's why parents who get very angry at their children will say "you're no longer my child") if my parents just met me (even me as a child) on the street, they probably wouldn't like me as a person, my personality diverged a lot from theirs very early on (being on the autism spectrum helps a lot), but they love their child, so as long as I play this role, I get love, but I don't think at any point they loved me as a person, at best they learned to tolerate me by pure exposure I don't want everyone to get depressed by the idea of "parents don't really love their children, it's all a big social spectacle" because some (maybe even many) do love their children, there's a lot going on in favor of such a relationship (your parents have a very significant influence over your personality and you're either genetically close to them which should be an advantage OR, if you were adopted, they specifically chose you at some point which I think is an even bigger advantage (I'm a huge supporter of adoption)), but imo parent (idk what's the proper adjective cos I think "paternal" only refers to the father cos "pater" is Latin for "father") love isn't unconditional at all and not actually loving your child (despite an appearance thereof because the parent plays the role of loving "Their Child™" which is really a dereferenced construct) is way more common than people think, the unfortunate but very widespread case being parents abandoning their queer children once they come out: if you stop loving me because I revealed you my feelings/identity, have you ever loved me at all or did you only love the idea of "your child (or more specifically son)"? I didn't really change, I just started wearing different clothes, started using a different name/pronouns, maybe styling my hair differently or speaking in a slightly modified voice - these are all very surface-level aesthetic changes, I'm the same person underneath, is there anything really needing acceptance (as if it was some kinda burden I put on my parents)? if I started wearing dark colors instead of light ones, you wouldn't even think about it in terms of "acceptance", at worst you'd say you preferred a different style but you wouldn't abandon me, but if I start wearing skirts occasionally instead of pants, I'm apparently asking you for a Herculean task of tolerating/accepting some insane burden I'm putting on you and you're apparently justified in saying "no, I don't accept this, you're a new person whom I don't love, I only loved the old one" but there was never an "old one" and a "new one", it's all just me (and funnily enough, it was never a secret, I've been talking about not feeling like a boy, wanting not to be seen thru the lenses of gender, enjoying girly clothing, hobbies etc. since forever, hell, I started creating my conlang at 12 precisely to remove nasty linguistic things like gender - I just grew up and became brave enough not to suffer to appease the people who hate me anyway) what I'm referencing is the people who feel like you're a new person once you "come out", that they need to mourn "the old you" and are free to reject "the new you" (without admitting they never really loved you in the first place) I hope I won't be misunderstood because it happens a lot (I know my language usage is "off" to neurotypical people + English isn't my first language, so there are layers of a potential for "lost in translation", please be aware and don't assume the worst): when I say something happens (maybe even a lot), I'm not saying I approve of it (in fact, I mostly mention things I dislike about humanity), I just think we should be aware and speak openly about hurtful phenomena to fight them instead of pretending issues don't exist (which happens a lot for some reason, people get really angry when I mention social issues and will either gaslight me about it never really happening (despite me experiencing it empirically AND having a statistical basis) OR they'll talk as if me mentioning something hurtful means I support it or something, as if I was conjuring up an issue by mentioning its name, idk 😅) and, finally, I don't claim to hold the keys to truth or to know the universal human experience, I just have my experiences + what people tell me + statistics and I try to establish a worldview based off that (like everyone else), I'm not trying to undermine anyone's experiences (which people do to me a lot, ironically) or, in this specific case, to claim your parents secretly hate you (or just don't love you) or something - I just experienced my parents not loving the real me and the same thing happening to many people, so I speculate how it works, but maybe it's not true for you at all OR the phenomenon is more complicated (for example, I can understand "mourning" someone who undergoes a very strong physical (and possibly mental) transition, people can react emotionally to a big change (people cry at weddings despite the change only really being legal because you presumably loved the person you're marrying and planned to live with them way before the formality), it may take time to adjust and even trans people often use a language suggesting they're shedding off the old identity and replace it with a new one (for example, "deadname" which I personally replace with "name assigned at birth"), so having a strong emotional reaction to someone coming out doesn't have to mean they didn't love you in the first place, but if they never "get over it" or say something really hurtful, it can be the case - it IS complex and requires case-by-case judgement) I hope you enjoyed my neurodivergent wall of text, have a nice day/night ❤
they protected your rights to not have your gender non confromity MEDICALIZED. Gender non conformity being completely embraced is what needs to happen, "self determination" is also compeltely influenced by societal gender stereotypes.
@@brockreynolds870 As a gender nonconforming man, I don't care about medicalization either way, but I'm sick and tired of being harrassed by people who supposedly "mean well".
Also Nex was native American and Two-Spirit was their identity and used both they and he pronouns according to people close to him. Important not to forget or erase this as its also anti Native American attack as well as anti trans. Thank you for raising awareness Matt.
Nex was 2s and it's very strange seeing people claim they weren't. Speaking for myself, I prefer trusting the words of people who knew them rather then Wikipedia, lol
I worry that I endanger my 2 kids because I'm a gay transgender man and their other father is bi. What if just talking about their parents gets them targeted at school?
Awww honey, I know this rightfully won't ease all the understandable anxiety you feel for your children, but trust me when I say that is not YOU endangering your family. Really malicious and ignorant people are taking this opportunity to turn the dial up in the culture wars - ie stoke bigotry and hatred. And unfortunately as we've all seen, humans can be very fickle and this propaganda is pretty effective. Those of us in the LGBTQ+ community (including allies), will keep up the resistance for sure but what I think you need some now is some reassurance from community and some practical steps you can take so you feel like you have more control. I'm unsure of you and your partner's ages, I'm a slightly younger millennial living in the West the majority of whose young adulthood was in the relatively calm bliss of post-2010 LGBTQ+ acceptance, however uneven it was. Maybe this is time to find ways to reach out to gay and queer elders who've been through their own decades of hate (1950s - 2000s say) and draw on both their practical advice and their strength. They made it through those periods of the criminalisation of gayness, systemic institutionalised homophobia in public & private life (eg the Lavender scare), all religious institutions waging war on them, starting the uphill battle to gain family rights (adoption, civil unions & marriages), gay bashing and "corrective rape" (which is coming back full force I fear), the HIV/AIDs crisis, and just general fuckery. They made it through and we need their wisdom and strength again. Let's ask questions of them as the friends & family in our lives, strangers at the gay bars, in online forums, at the LGBT+ organisations, wherever we can find them. We're a community and I'm hoping we can pull together once more.
Nex's mother was registered with the Choctaw Nation and it is extremely frustrating to constantly see white queer people leave out this part of Nex's identity when covering the story. Where I am from, people are bullied, assaulted, and killed for just being native and queer natives have it even worse. I really respect and appreciate everything you do with this Podcast Matt and everything you do for the queer community, but we cannot keep leaving two-spirit and indigi-queer relatives out of the conversation as our marginalized identities intersect to create a specific experience. I will continue to watch and support this podcast as I really believe in what you are doing, I just ask that you keep in mind indigi-queer people.
Thank you so so so much for adding this information about Nex. I’m only learning about their story now after seeing headlines yesterday and this is all so sad.
Nex's death really shook me as both a nonbinary person and a parent. I can't imagine the pain of losing your child in this way, I feel so sorry, angry, and afraid for queer people and their families living in states that are actively trying to eradicate them.
Nex's death is certainly horrible and shouldn't have happened and I feel for her loved ones. However it seems their death didn't have anything to do with the fight in the bathroom, also I don't see how anyone is trying to "eradicate" queer people?
@@JessicaJGrande are you actually stupid 😭 first of all, you used her when referring to nex. it's they/them. second of all, nex got their head BASHED against a SOLID SURFACE SEVERAL TIMES. it's not a god damn coincidence that they collapsed and died the next day. they probably got some kind of brain injury that ultimately killed them. third of all, you must be either painfully ignorant or are purposefully ignoring everything happening around you. laws are being passed that illegalises trans people existing. it was said in the video that people were trying to eradicate trans and gay existence. i genuinely don't understand how you can be this dense.
20:12 What’s really sad is even most conservatives think simply saying “it’s okay” to a queer kid is too much. I don’t really know how they manage to have such little empathy..
Heyyyy soooo uhhhh I disagree with conservatives and I support everything but please don’t bring empathy into this. Lots of people that can’t feel empathy (myself included) use logic to understand things and logically there is nothing inherently wrong with being lgbtq. So these people don’t lack empathy they lack intelligence.
You do realize that this can be applied on liberal/progressive types right? Your argument isn't much of an argument as I have met leftists who think the same way.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot This isn't symmetrical, because if conservatives win, everyone they don't like will be exiled from society or die. If liberals win, conservatives lose the ability to hurt other people, not their ability to survive and coexist peacefully. The problem is that conservatives _do not want to coexist peacefully._ The conservative faction is the aggressor, and the liberal faction is acting in defense.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot The sides are not equal. Conservatives are the _aggressor,_ and the left/liberal faction is protecting itself and others from the aggressor.
The thing is,@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot , a person cannot *stop* being LGBTQIA2S+, just as people from racialized minority groups cannot *stop* being the inheritors of the abuses that were inflicted on their ancestors/predecessors. Meanwhile, the bigots that the communist/socialist leftists and (sometimes) centrist liberals seek to exclude from society *do* have the opportunity to stop being bigoted; they have the opportunity roughly *every* minute of *every* day. However, like soooo many "people" discussed in this video, most of them choose *not* to do so, instead stubbornly digging in their heels, assuming that the values that they live by are inherently correct and beyond reproach, and ignoring and deflecting criticism in the exact manner Chaya Raichik did during the recorded interview. Thuuuuus...you are *not* making an identical comparison. And, to clarify further: Conservatives want others to *adhere*/live by/adopt to Traditional Values. Their opponents do *not* want Conservatives to convert to living progressively themselves; only to live peacefully by their Traditional Values, so long as doing so does *not* involve trying to force those values onto those that do not *want* them.
Thank you so much for addressing Nex's death. My heart has been bleeding for them, for their community, for everyone who loved them. They were just a kid.
Chayas voice irritates me. She slurs her words and clearly doesn't have any stances aside from "this position makes me money". If someone said they'd pay her double to switch sides, she would.
She's laughably awful at speaking. Even worse at thinking on her feet. Has the charisma of a wet carrot. You can see why she hides behind LoTT and didn't start a channel of her own: she doesn't have the talent of Rush Limbaugh, Matt Walsh, or even Candace Owens.
@ville__I definitely don't hope you have a bad fall. No one should do something to you to stop you from voting to restrict the rights of gay people. Have a wonderful day, you monster in human skin.
@@sealogic4552 , exactly. The Red Pillers, MRAs, tradwives, and tradcons who consider themselves at all sincere should object to her lazy, disinterested grift, too!
@@minumeyliEmphasis on indigenous. This is not the first and sadly won’t be the last case where the police themselves try to cover up a murder of an indigenous person.
Chaya's refusal to stand her ground on her views, and speak specifically about what *impact* she wants to have is very indicative of her bad faith acting. "I'm not trying to ban books" is clearly a statement of technicality, and she knows full well that her actions are leading to books being taken out of schools. She knows that many schools are the only places most people can have access to books. She knows that a book "not allowed" in school is likely to be "not allowed" at home (parents do NOT have the time to read every book their kid shows an interest in). This is what people mean by stochastic terrorism. The double-speak, the pathetic attempts at "plausible deniability", every bit of it.
She's either gonna double down on her stance or play the victim as always by saying, "The left is being meant to me" or "I can't no longer discriminate against LGBTQ people". 🙄🙄🙄
She's either going to double or triple down on her stance and play the victim as always by saying, "The woke left is being mean to me," "I'm being silenced because I'm conservative, and I want to protect children's innocence from pronouns, drag queens and the alphabet mafia," "I can't discriminate against LGBTQ+ people anymore," or some BS like that. 🙄🙄🙄
She's either going to double down on her stance and then will play the victim as always by saying, "The left is being mean to me," or "They're trying to censor me because I'm a conservative and I want to protect the children's innocence from pronouns, pride flags, the alphabet mafia and drag queens," or the classic "I can't no longer discriminate against LGBTQ+ or marginalized people" or some BS.
@@HN-kr1nf I think this as well, yes. Though, personally, it is equally tragic regardless of age...They could have been the eldest person of all time, being killed for being enby, trans, gay, or whatever other harmless way people can exist is as tragic as if they were as old as Nex. Which is to say, it is always crushing and awful. It's enraging and tiring. It depletes me, as a person, but drives me to keep fighting for a world where this doesn't happen anymore...Even if that fight never ends.
I am a high school student in Oklahoma. My school is about an hour away from Owasso High School. When I heard about what happened to Nex, I was very upset and sad for them and their family. Yet the past few weeks, I haven't heard an empathetic response in my school, just people around me talking about Nex and making fun of them and saying how they had it coming and that they deserved it. If that scares me, I can't imagine how scared my queer friends at school feel.
I am a transgender person the same age as Nex. And i can’t even say the story shocked me. because in eighth grade, i had been given several threats to beat me up as well as verbal harassment all because it was out that i was trans. The school did not punish any of the people doing these things to me. they were upset at me.
The fact that they're "softball" questions is kind of the point. With people like Chaya, you don't need any kind of rhetorical tricks, simply asking them continually to elaborate on their views is enough to make them crumble, because there is no thought structure underpinning these beliefs, they literally cannot even explain why they believe these things. So, just politely letting them explain for a bit while digging their own graves is actually a surprisingly effective approach to exposing their beliefs as nonsensical.
I've been trying to deradicalize my friend for some time now. His main concern was always 'gr**ming children into being trans'. I recently told him about this case. I really didn't expect him to be happy. Unbelievable.
I do believe there are some people who buy into this propaganda genuinely fearing for the children’s safety (not saying they are right about it at all) but your friend sounds like he just genuinely does not like trans people if he can be happy hearing a tragedy like that just because the child in question belonged to the lgbt community. I remember a similar reaction over the death of a teen trans woman in the uk killed by her two “friends” I forget her name this was like a year ago
Someone showed my mother matt walsh’s “what is a women” video and she kicked me out. If they actually cared about the children they wouldn’t make us feel so alienated.
@@andrewgreenberg1862 how in the name of hell is a deceased child a monster. Some people would argue you’re the monster for saying that about the dead.
What is wrong with these people?? I was shocked at the dude in charge of public schools in OK… how could somebody who’s supposed to be doing the best for children be so cruel?? This is just insane.
I’m a trans teen who lives in America. I’m fucking scared of my own country. I’m so fucking scared all the time because of these people who say they are trying to protect kids, and teens. The irony here is so frustrating
I'm from Ireland which only legalised homosexuality in 1993 and it's somehow still one of the safer places. (Sadly the healthcare for trans people is garbage)
It's the same for me and it worse as I'm trans and live and Oklahoma, I'm scared for me and my friends and I'm scared of being the next one ending up dead
as a nonbinary person, thank you so much for speaking on Nex's death. It's been really fucking difficult for me. They were a child and part of me feels like I failed them even though i'm literally only 25 and i'm in Canada. It's hard. They were a child.
This case makes me so sad. I’ve been arguing with strangers in comment sections over how callous some people are being … idk how much good it does, it’s prob a futile effort, but some of the rhetoric being thrown around is disgusting. Thank you for covering this story. Rest in peace, Nex ❤
I do the same. To be honest I'm tired of just ignoring the hate and moving on. These people need to be called out and exposed for their awful rheoteroic
It's really odd. I'm not sure how to have these conversations anymore. Almost nothing seems to work. I have had moments in life, where I somehow managed to get on some kind of 'same page'. I didn't backwards engineer that process though, so I have no clue what I did, can't remember. I just want people to stop driving others into depression and death. For fuck's sake.
If you have the energy to speak, then do so. If not, then there are other ways to help and support the ones who do. Constant vigilance is the price of building a brighter future
FYI: Nex has been since identified, by his close friends, as a trans boy whose prefered pronouns were he/him. Though he seemed to go by they/them with his parents. (Not that uncommon if parents are struggling to understand a trans kid and new pronoun usage).
I also recommend at least learning how to use firearms. Whether you get one is up to you, but learn to use one, get a carry permit -a transfemme veteran
@@Starufoji Absolutely. I’ve been advocating for LGBTQ rights since I was in high school when the slogan was “straight, not narrow.” Cishet people-we cannot sit on the sidelines; this is our fight too.
I've been crying about Nex since their news came to me. I no longer feel any kind of empathy for anyone spouting transphobic beliefs. I'm sorry the adults you trusted to care for you failed you, Nex. We will not let them bury your story. I hope you are resting in power.
Imagine agreeing to an interview and responding to every question with “I didn’t say that” Like then SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY!! I know terrorist threats are harder to make in real life than online but at least something that doesn’t make u look like a petulant toddler in an argumentative phase
Thank fucking god the situation in Oklahoma is finally getting national attention. Ryan Walters has genuinely had everyone who works in education here in OK in crisis mode this entire school year. My mom is a teacher for Edmond Public Schools, and policy after policy has made her - a parent of two trans adults - fear she will face losing her teaching license and primary source of income if she disobeys the agenda of these targeted attacks against children exactly like her own. Local school districts are finally pushing back and standing firm in their responsibility to support the safety and education of ALL of their students, but it’s tragic and dystopian that it took a kid’s death to make people finally understand that the “anti-woke” movement most of Oklahoma’s politicians are platforming is dangerous in a very serious way. The only silver lining is that this kind of mainstream coverage is exactly what the people here who have been fighting for their lives against these laws and policies from the start needed to be taken more seriously where it matters. I sincerely have to thank everyone who’s using their platform to talk about this. Keep it up.
Canadian here! I agree. Living in a country town is scary. We have some pride posters and a GSA, but there's so few of us that we're all friends. We stick together. Even if we don't get along, it's better than hanging out with everyone else who makes fun of us. The newest thing is barking and growling loudly in the halls and in class. It's almost always something totally unexpected as you turn a corner and hear a loud ass bark, so much so that it's nearly impossible to hide a reaction. So, they keep doing it. It's a terrible world out there. But there are good people! People that can help to create a real safe space rather then the promised one. My school has 2 vice principals, one of which asked to fully change the schedule for lunch monitoring so he can be in specific hallways where it's prone to happening. Checking in on my friends and I at least once a day and saying hi in the halls. I was on spare last month sitting in a spot that he found where I can be seen on camera from multiple angles and have access to an outlet when he came up to me. He proudly told me that when everyone was walking to first period, there was a grade 9 barking in the main hall. SO HE FOLLOWED THEM DOWN THE HALL TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR BULLYING😂😂😂. That VP and that story will always have a spot in my queer heart. 💚 It's a terrifying world with terrifying people. But you will find someone that will stop everything, just to hunt down a student to make sure that the school is just that much safer.
I knew i was trans before i ever knew the word. In highschool, i socially transitioned without ever telling my parents. I had no idea what i was doing, i just knew i wanted to be seen as someone different. I thrived. I was the weird kid but i loved it. If i had been in highschool now, i would know what trans is. And i would also know there are people out there who think it is incredibly wrong. I think i would have hidden it away forever
I heard that too. I think that info only came out recently though and before it was reported that he used they/them pronouns and was non-binary rather than a trans man
This one . . . was visceral. I almost broke on this one. How . . . . ? How can anyone look me in the eyes and say "both sides are the same" or "we need to compromise"? How do you compromise on an issue that where one side wants normal people to be treated . . . ya know . . . normally? And the other side doesn't see it that way and wants them dead. Or at the very least as a stepping stone into solidifying their power. I just get so lost in my emotions with stories like this. So much pain. So much fear. So much sadness. So much raw anger. This kid died. They were younger than me and I'm not that old! Why? Why is the world poisoned like this? I have hope for the future but in the here and now there's too many bodies for me to feel anything but pain and sorrow. I can only hope that people see reason but more importantly have empathy for their fellow humans.
what you described is “enlightened centrism”, and yes, they are an absolute joke. they are basically just conservatives in disguise, and the only reason they call themselves “centrists” is to feel smarter than everyone else by deliberately picking what they think is in the middle rather than forming their own opinion. they are absolutely pathetic.
The only person I ever met that I knew who assaulted children was a baby sitter that the church helped because he sung for choir. He hurt my brother who was six(i was five) and my cousin who was around the same age as us. My cousins mother took the bribe and my brother didn't want to talk in a court, which makes sense. The church started letting that person go to mexico with other church staff once a year after that. My family members were not the first he hurt, not the last. I bet their town has people like him in it. From what i've read, its very common. But they want to go after queer people instead.
They never cared about our children. I'm worried about the future, because the far-right is rising in Europe, where I live, and I'm worried for mine, my girlfriend's and (if we end up having, then our) children's rights.
I’m 16 I’m also a sophomore in high-school. Hearing and reading about Nexe’s story has been absolutely heartbreaking. They didn’t even get to live a full beautiful life. They died too young and didn’t deserve that. I’m absolutely heartbroken and it kills me that politicants are not doing anything about this issue. All they want to do is spread hate and criminalize our community. I have never ever heard a story about a trans or nonbinary person assaulting someone in a public bathroom. But what I have seen is cisgender people assaulting trans and nonbinary people in bathrooms. Rest in power Nex you were absolutely incredible and a wonderful person ✊🏻🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
What annoys me most about people like Chaya is that when someone calls them out, they immediately try to backpedal. They can dish it out but they can't take it. Cowards.
As a queer person, it makes me incredibly angry and sad that all the school seemed to was blame Nex themself and even suspending them for defending themself!
I just find it so wild that America would criticise a country that is dictated by a religion. They'd probably call it an attack on freedom. Do they not see the irony?
That's because those people don't see themselves as people and they don't see Christianity as a religion. They see themselves as "The Standard"; they do not think of themselves as not cisgender, heterosexual or Christian.
I love the implication that gender is truth because like... no. Gender has changed so many times throughout history. If we lived in a world where nobody lied we'd all basically be non binary. I say this as a cis person.
She has a weak argument because the only real thing that she's doing is enjoying bullying people who really can't fight back. She's a full-blown predator
@@rhymerlegend2717 Doesn't matter if Nex started the fight. A CHILD is DEAD. Getting splashed with water shouldn't have resulted in the death certificate of a sixteen year old child. Regardless of what their pronouns were, this was a murder. Those girls deserve prison time, no question.
Matt wasn't trying to say that autistics not getting sarcasm would behave like this due to being autistic, just that that's another reason why someone might not notice, so there's nothing to excuse. And in terms of asking, you have to notice that you're missing something in order to know to ask, so that's not always accessible. I think this instance is a good example of that. Because again, the point was not that being autistic would make it okay to do what that guy did. It was just awkward phrasing, non-autistics do this sometimes. And if you don't know that you don't know, you can't ask.
hey, someone who's also autistic here, diagnosed as a toddler and considered low-functioning. autism can absolutely be an "excuse" for not picking up on something like that, as silly as it might seem to you. sometimes i don't even realize something Could be sarcasm, so i don't ask and just take it at face value. just because you can kind of pick up on social cues doesn't mean everyone is like you. autism is a spectrum. your experience is not universal. stop acting like it is.
@@hideawaysis tbf I'm really good at masking to the point most people don't realize I'm autistic, and I still take sarcasm at face value about half the time, if not more. I don't like this label, but I'd count as "high functioning". I agree that it being a spectrum makes it hard (and silly) to make any generalizations though. Each of us has different things we find more challenging. I can kind of detect when something is meant as a cruel "joke" but when it's actual humor it can throw me off a lot.
@@chrisbfreelance One side literally allowed the murder of a trans indigenous kid. I don't know what's going on with you but they are clearly not the same
@@chrisbfreelance One side literally allowed the murder of a trans indigenous kid. I don't know what's going on with you but they are clearly not the same
Powered by Rainbows has a video going over other allegations against the school by other lgbtq students. It gets dark, and definitely looks like unofficial policy was conversion therapy, even going as far as "corrective" SA
When this news broke out, it reminded me of this argument I had with a friend. He was telling me how trans women should be excluded from women's sports/bathrooms. Being a complete sucker for kulturekampfs. Anyway, I told him I wasn't a lib but that it was dumb to exclude them from these since the whole premise is based on them being "manly" enough to be dangerous to women. That if trans women were in the same bathroom as men, there would be a greater chance of SA since a lot of men do not have no in their vocab. He couldn't comprehend what I said, and iirc, I could tell he got frustrated about it. It's a shame he's a sucker for this nonsense since it's another repackaging of McCarthyism, and the people who preach about this don't care about families. If they did, they would br 100% against any intervention the US goes into and would rather advocate for policies that would materially support families, like subsidizing any or all marriage, homes, baby care stuff, etc. Instead, they advocate for austerity and funding for client states, like Israel.
It's also a serious misunderstanding of how medical transition works. My partner is non-binary and transitioning the way a trans woman would. I'm a trans man (FtM) and have been on hormones for years. My partner has lost a lot of their muscular strength and because of our differences in testosterone and estrogen levels, I gain muscles far easier than they now can. Many cisgender women even have greater levels of testosterone than many trans women, since trans women carefully regulate their hormone levels unlike most cis people. Even before my partner and I started medically transitioning... I was taller and broader than them. Some people born female are even naturally built like a brick. You don't even need to be taller or heavier or have higher levels of testosterone to be able to keep up with others physically. Testosterone cannot make up for fitness level, technique, and knowledge. Also people honestly completely underestimate what females can do, physically, in general. Including women. Which contributes to this thinking towards (primarily) trans women.
Imagine suspending and threatening a teen for splashing their bullies while the bullies that harassed them for a year and literally beat them to death are treated like saints, it's sick that some monsters are trying to 'no-angels' Nex and acting like he deserved to die for self defense. Usually the same people that won't stop screeching about gun rights because they're chomping at the bit for an excuse to kill someone. Not even getting to Senator Tom Woods calling Nex 'filth' he was happy to see removed from his state.
1. Rest in Peace Nex Benedict 2. Like I’ve been saying a lot now, I’m gonna bet that Chaya is gonna start targeting Neurodivergent people next once they’re done with Trans people. Like could you imagine the shit she would say about ADHD, Autism, heck even DID Systems. 3. Someone get this lady on a debate with an actual SMART trans person, wonder how that would go down
She would probably be an insufferable see you next Tuesday to them the entire time it wouldn't be a debate it would just be an opportunity for her to act like a horse's ass.
1:01 Seeing that kitten made this a bit easier. It also makes me even sadder because on top of all the ways Nex was failed by the school and his family and whatnot, that little kitty is probably wondering where their human friend is.
These little girls quite literally murdered someone after they poured water on them for being bullied. They will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Everyone failed Nex in this situation.
fr hate to be a downer but that's the only justice i realistically see coming out of this situation; everyone--those girls, school staff, etc--living with the weight of their actions or inactions i doubt we're still going to be talking about nex given a month's time ive pretty much run out of hope at this point, conservatives mastered the propaganda game and have more than enough money to fund it i don't like myself becoming a doomer but im just fucking done
I watched the police bodycam footage when an officer visited Nex in hospital. He straight up victim-blamed them, said they could be charged with assault for pouring water on their bullies. I'm sorry Nex. You deserved a long and beautiful life.
@@user-jw4bg1km8rit is technically assault from a legal standpoint. Nex did get *physical* first but that does not warrant bodily assault. Obviously it was a hate crime. I understand why Nex poured the water, probably knowing that ignoring them and telling a teacher won’t do anything to solve the issue but the police are never going to tell a teenager or any adult for that matter that they can retaliate words with throwing water at someone. If it had ended there and Nex wasn’t murdered it would be *wrong* and they should’ve ignored them. But honestly at the age I probably would’ve thrown water at those evil bitches too. Nex was murdered point blank. I’m not comparing the severity of water pouring to MURDER - I’m just saying you could sue a bigot that throws water at you 😞
This is the 3rd time I'm posting a comment cuz YT doesn't like mean words that are warranted. Chaya is responsible for this tragedy, full stop. Every time I see any pictures of Nex, or what their goals were, or how they were a straight A student, it breaks my heart and makes me want to cry. Nex deserved so much better than this. And that Chaya and her equally morally bankrupt ilk get to do this, with prejudice and repentless malice and are not only able to do so under "apparent" plausible deniability, but get money for it, boils my blood. LGBTQI+ kids deserve better, they shouldn't have to be dealing with this, they deserve to be happy, safe and loved.
@@alexwyatt2911 I know that but you see, I live in Mexico and I don't have any money to give, all I can do is scream into the infinite void of the internet in an attempt to advocate or engage with this type of content so hopefuly the algorithm boosts it's reach a bit. In community we can make a change but seing this happen, I just feel so angry and so powerless. I wish I could do much more
nex was indigenous! as someone who is also indigenous AND nonbinary (with some distant choctaw descent mixed in with my family's tribe), this is so so important to nex's identity. please do not leave out the implications of this death.
it’s just gotten so scary. i’m a young queer adult living in south dakota and there’s times where i sincerely wish i could just put myself back into the closet bc being openly queer is just so scary these days. it would be so much easier if i could just be better at hiding.
watching the interview at 8:35 reminded me of those videos of experiments with children where they ask something like “how many chocolates are on the floor” and the kid responds with something like “yeah i like chocolate”. never before have i ever seen such a strong embodiment of a toddler in a full grown woman.
This was one of the hardest podcasts to listen to, and entirely worth suffering through. My first inkling of something being *off* was at the age of five. It was 1981, so I had no way of knowing what was going on. I had the luxury of having amazing parents and was still terrified to come out to them as trans in 1995. When I finally got to transition 25 years later, my father was so understanding and gentle. I'm so glad Nex had parents who showed him the kind of compassion that every child deserves. Thank you for highlighting them. They didn't do things perfectly, but they acted out of love. I won't address the others, as you've hit that one out of the park. I will conclude with a quote from of all places, a God of War game: "Hope is what we fight with when all else is lost." edited to correct pronouns.
Teachers showing/saying they accept queer and trans kids doesnt only help queer and trans kids. It helps all kids who look or feel different in any way at any time. Would a kid ever ask an adult who has openly shamed another student, for help with sensitive issues at home? Or anything even remotely personal? No. Having accepting, loving, and supportive people is never a negative and can only help a community grow.
Im sorry but i cant listen to this without experiencing destructive murder rage. I support you for having the strength to talk about Nex's story though.
I'm surprised you didn't mention Tom Woods of Oklahoma's state senate who referred to LGBTQ people as "filth" that he and his constitutents "don't want in their state" after being asked about his and the rest of Oklahoma's state legislature's obsession over LGBTQ people and how it lead to the death of Nex Benedict. He offered condolences to Nex's family, only to proceed to discuss how Oklahoma is a Christian Republican state. That there's no room for such "filth" in Oklahoma.
i genuinely feel so disgusted at how everything in america failed Nex. the education system, the healthcare system, the politicians. Each and every institution has their blood on their hands in the name of turning a profit or "protecting the children". I'm sorry, Nex. you were a child.
I'm 40 now. I was raised in a fundamentalist house, and for most of my childhood in the south. I had no one to talk to. I was terrified. All the time. Every single day. I hated myself, and thought there was something really wrong with me, but I didn't have anyone I felt safe to talk about it with. I knew a kid who's parents found out she was gay, and I didn't see her for a year. When I did see her again, she was so broken for so long, it shattered me. But it also reinforced that no one, not even my parents, were safe to tell. If I had had a teacher, even just one, who had told me it would be okay. That there wasn't anything wrong with me... Who knows. But I will die fighting for those kinds of kids. Fighting for their right to exist and their right to be who they are.
Cheekily referring to people as "haters" and "losers" with a duck face and a peace sign is absolutely the calling card of one of those bullying mean girls. She 100% peaked in middle school.
Matt, this is the best podcast you've ever done. your delivery of every single point left a lump in my throat for the entirety of the podcast. thank you for bringing awareness in a way that hopefully brings some people to question their beliefs about trans kids. rest in power, Nex.
Comment for the algorithm. A lot of these types of people are bullies who grew up, still acting like they did in elementary, middle school and high school.
i remember hearing about this a few weeks ago. it's infuriating to me, the fact that the 'trans bathroom debate' is still this massive issue for conservatives (especially still here in the UK, where the government recently blocked our gender recognition bill in Scotland, which they shouldn't be allowed to do). i, and many others, have been saying for years that the people who are at most risk in public bathrooms, changing rooms, etc. are trans people. they are far more likely to be targeted, and happens much more frequently than major news outlets report, because it doesn't fit the groomer narrative panic. and for the 'centrists' on the issue, where was their advocacy and compassion for this child who was murdered after being bullied for being non-binary? the same people who claim to not be on any 'side' are once again so clearly on the right, because they would rather talk about trans people being a danger in bathrooms than talk about trans people being IN danger. it makes me sick. rest in peace to this poor child. they deserved so much better, and we will carry their name with us as we continue to fight for trans rights
Chaya needs to be sued as she has claimed in the Taylor interview to be a journalist. Defamation laws are a thing and they are indeed something Journalist must abide by. she has confirmed she knew her posts were wrong, and has said Community notes were good enough for correcting anything not correct in them so she does not retract the stories or posts. all I am saying is, if I were a lawyer, I would go in on this, especially now that she is a part of the library board in Oklahoma. Ryan and Chaya deserve the Alex Jones treatment.
Exactly. They both deserve life behind bars. I know that absolutely won't happen until society hugely changes, though; but who knows, technically such a change could even hypothetically happen soon, I would hope.
And if you weren`t a keyboard warrior using your anonymity to act tough, you wouldn`t say such nonsense. The law will be changed soon and creeps like you will be shamed and sued.
I fail to see how Chaya reposting videos of people have public freakouts means she is responsible for the death of a child who was killed by someone else's hands
People who say “But nex started it” are disgusting, that wasn’t a fight, that was a “provocation” as an excuse to beat someone up so badly, that- direct or not -they died soon after
...but they did. They literally said it themselves. Acknowledging that this particular fight was started by them doesn't suddenly mean they aren't a victim.
@@stuffynosepatrol what sane person would expect to have their head bashed against the ground repeatedly over throwing water? one side got wet, the other was hospitalized. it was the attackers that escalated it to such an extreme level, not nex
@@babs_babs the girls over reacted, however, Nex was the one who decided to make it go from just words to physical aggression when they threw that water on the girls. They should have expected some kind of physical retaliation.
@@stuffynosepatrol i don’t get it. a child was beaten and hospitalized, and they’re the ones you blame? you call it an “overreaction” instead of a violent assault. you put splashing some water in the same category as giving someone a concussion. do you agree with the attackers ideology? why tf else would you be saying this shit? it was those three girls who made the choice to jump on top of nex, grab their head, and hit it repeatedly against the ground, and all you can do is say “yeah that was nex’s fault”. like you need a child to be the perfect victim, even when it’s a three vs one attack. wtf?
@@ethandollarhide7943 remove their comments too. I just find it to be one sided when a comment that says "there are only two genders" gets removed for "hate and violence" while a comment that says "all transphobes need to be stabbed to death" is left up.
the fact that chaya (i think thats how you spell it) cant say anything besides "thats not what i said" or "theres a mainstream lie" should show how flimsy the backbone of transphobia is
As a trans student in Oklahoma, so Nex's story hits particularly close to home. There is a massive problem in this state at a legislative and societal level that makes all forms of bigotry common. It isn't safe here, but I'm not in a position to get out. This murder is something that I can see happening in any school across the state, to any queer student, and that is not okay.
Thanks for explaining the backstory regarding Benedict's death. With the limited blurb that the story got from the mainstream media I was under the impression that this person committed suicide.
That was truly such a strong and powerful outro to this video. As a child who once suffered in silence too, my heart goes out to all of them out there struggling under the weight of a world they didnt ask to be brought into.
Thank you for talking about this and in such a thorough way. You went above and beyond on this one and it was absolutely needed, their "beliefs" are so transparently harmful but their game is one of not backing down, so we can't either. I really don't want Nex's death to be in vain, how many have to die before something is done to ensure queer kid's safety...
when i was 11, i had a girlfriend. i mean, i had literally no idea what i was doing, i just heard a lot about boys having girlfriends, and somehow, me and a girl from school were kinda joking about her becoming my girlfriend. we were kids. we had no idea what that meant, and we barely kissed. i said out loud to my family "i have a girlfriend now", and they screamed in glory. it was like i said "oh we're rich now i found gold in our house". i literally had no idea what exactly my sexuality was, but i was glorified as being manly "too early", and they started making very adult jokes about sex, which i didn't understand at all, i thought sex only happened when adults wanted to have kids.
when i was 16, i had a boyfriend. i knew exactly what was happening, and i was very, very happy about it, feeling ok with myself the first time in my life. i already understood what sex was about, and had my head wrapped around the idea of not being straight. me and my boyfriend would kiss and make out frequently, and i was ok with it. i said out loud to my family "i have a boyfriend now", and they screamed in horror. it was like i said "im dead and this is my ghost". i literally had everything figured out about my sexuality for the first time in my life, but they said i was "confused", and that it was "too early" for me to know what kind of person i'm attracted to.
they don't give a shit about innocence, or kids. when they say "oh i'm worried about queer knowledge influencing kids", what they really mean is "I WANT A WORLD WHERE YOU DON'T EXIST. I WANT LESS PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN THE WORLD". and we can't react accordingly. we can't defend ourselves properly, or else they'll pull the victim card "oh no my religious freedom". they know it's war, they know they have the upper hand. what they don't know, is that this war is gonna cost the very thing they say they want to protect: family.
I am very sorry that you had to experience this from your own family. It is bad enough to get it from peers, teachers and TV, but family is supposed to be the bedrock that keeps you upright in the face of adversity.
I hope you found good friends to provide that for you.
thanks. i am 27 years old now, and things are a little bit different. they still dont accept me, but they tolerate me. i mean... its something. my boyfriend comes home. they usually leave or just shut themselves on their bedroom. i think they are afraid of seeing us kiss or something and be disgusted by that. its not perfect, but it isnt as torturous as it used to be. anyways, thanks.@@RexxyRobin
They claim that queer literature is porn, but they have yet to ban any Twilight books, Sweet Valley High, or other books that actually have sexual content and girls dating grown men.
@@GenerationNextNextNextnot even to mention the bible, which does, in fact, describe a man's genitalia in an excess of detail
@@eagonwild also has incest, rape, glorification of slavery, all sorts of the sorta nasty stuff that Christians love 🥴
Innocence, what the fuck do they know about innocence. Y'know what destroys innocence? Having your classmates attacked. Having an adult tell you your parents haven't paid for lunch and not eating for 18 hours straight. Having to constantly defend who you are to bullys and adults who say your very existence is a lie. I can't. Isn't the whole point of "protect the children" the fact that kids can be anything? Millions of possibilities for every child, but not the weird ones, appearantly!
Innocence is just another word for ignorance to me. When conservatives speak of protecting innocence this is what they mean.
I'll add one onto that: being told you're a monster for having a crush on a boy your age 😎👍
Let’s also add in “forcing a child to give birth after they were sexually assaulted.”
I will never stop bringing that up.
They home school... their innocence is not assaulted by trashy classmates who just happen to live in your area.
@@brockreynolds870 Innocence is bad. Its just another word for ignorance.
Why, why, why hasn't Chaya been sued into oblivion yet?! With all the harm she's done I feel like she could be on the receiving end of a massive class action at this point.
she's a right-wing grifter; she has establishment money supporting her.
@@dancincoolkid I know, I know. But, I mean, with all the karma coming around for dipshits like Alex Jones and all... I feel like it could still happen. I choose to hope! :P
@@691gg i hope so too; but my hope is running thin nowadays
On top of all of these right wing free speech freaks having her back financially, I don’t really think she can be held liable in court because she doesn’t explicitly say anything to promote violence. She definitely knows her fans will incite violence (example bomb threats) but unless she explicitly says anything, I don’t think she can be sued unfortunately
@@nadiaz721 maybe with a very very good lawyer...? even if it doesn't, her twitter account should definitely get shut down by a judge for being the firestarter of it all
For fucks sake that school itself is at fault for not calling an ambulance and cops. I had the cops called on me in school as a young queer kid for threatening to kill my bully in response to her shoving me. How tf did nobody get called??
Agreed, it's horrific that no one called 911. I'm sure there's a cynical policy somewhere about calling an ambulance and liability and insurance, but beneath all the excuses it's the same callous denial of responsibility. They're only responsible for protecting the status quo 🙄
Cops would have made the situation worse. Cops are not friends to the Queer community. 1312!
There is a videos of them walking down the hall way all by themself there was no evidence they need an ambulance
@marijaynebiggans6322 Nex blacked out during the beating though, any source will tell you that you need to go to hospital immediately in those types of cases because it could indicate brain injury. The school should have called the ambulance immediately
@@marijaynebiggans6322 Being able to walk doesn't mean you're in the clear lol
"What my father and mother were protecting was not my
rights as a child, but the sexual and gender norms that had been
painfully inculcated in them, through a social and educational
system that suppressed any form of dissidence by threats, intimidation, punishment, and death. I had a father and a mother but
neither of them could protect my right to free self-determination
of gender and sexuality" Paul B. Preciado ('Who Defends the Queer Child?' 2013)
This is so important. Thank you to the writer and to you for sharing it here.
it won't translate well into any natural language I know but it works in my personal conlang and I'll try my best to explain it (it's a phrase I use a lot to explain phenomena like this): "parents love Their Children™ but not their children" (an even easier phrasing but more personal would be "my parents love their child but not necessarily me")
what I mean by that is: parents generally love their children, that's their role as parents and most parents accept that role, but they only love the concept of the role of "their child", not necessarily whom this phrase refers to, their love only works as long as you play the role of "their child" (that's why parents who get very angry at their children will say "you're no longer my child")
if my parents just met me (even me as a child) on the street, they probably wouldn't like me as a person, my personality diverged a lot from theirs very early on (being on the autism spectrum helps a lot), but they love their child, so as long as I play this role, I get love, but I don't think at any point they loved me as a person, at best they learned to tolerate me by pure exposure
I don't want everyone to get depressed by the idea of "parents don't really love their children, it's all a big social spectacle" because some (maybe even many) do love their children, there's a lot going on in favor of such a relationship (your parents have a very significant influence over your personality and you're either genetically close to them which should be an advantage OR, if you were adopted, they specifically chose you at some point which I think is an even bigger advantage (I'm a huge supporter of adoption)), but imo parent (idk what's the proper adjective cos I think "paternal" only refers to the father cos "pater" is Latin for "father") love isn't unconditional at all and not actually loving your child (despite an appearance thereof because the parent plays the role of loving "Their Child™" which is really a dereferenced construct) is way more common than people think, the unfortunate but very widespread case being parents abandoning their queer children once they come out: if you stop loving me because I revealed you my feelings/identity, have you ever loved me at all or did you only love the idea of "your child (or more specifically son)"? I didn't really change, I just started wearing different clothes, started using a different name/pronouns, maybe styling my hair differently or speaking in a slightly modified voice - these are all very surface-level aesthetic changes, I'm the same person underneath, is there anything really needing acceptance (as if it was some kinda burden I put on my parents)? if I started wearing dark colors instead of light ones, you wouldn't even think about it in terms of "acceptance", at worst you'd say you preferred a different style but you wouldn't abandon me, but if I start wearing skirts occasionally instead of pants, I'm apparently asking you for a Herculean task of tolerating/accepting some insane burden I'm putting on you and you're apparently justified in saying "no, I don't accept this, you're a new person whom I don't love, I only loved the old one" but there was never an "old one" and a "new one", it's all just me (and funnily enough, it was never a secret, I've been talking about not feeling like a boy, wanting not to be seen thru the lenses of gender, enjoying girly clothing, hobbies etc. since forever, hell, I started creating my conlang at 12 precisely to remove nasty linguistic things like gender - I just grew up and became brave enough not to suffer to appease the people who hate me anyway)
what I'm referencing is the people who feel like you're a new person once you "come out", that they need to mourn "the old you" and are free to reject "the new you" (without admitting they never really loved you in the first place)
I hope I won't be misunderstood because it happens a lot (I know my language usage is "off" to neurotypical people + English isn't my first language, so there are layers of a potential for "lost in translation", please be aware and don't assume the worst): when I say something happens (maybe even a lot), I'm not saying I approve of it (in fact, I mostly mention things I dislike about humanity), I just think we should be aware and speak openly about hurtful phenomena to fight them instead of pretending issues don't exist (which happens a lot for some reason, people get really angry when I mention social issues and will either gaslight me about it never really happening (despite me experiencing it empirically AND having a statistical basis) OR they'll talk as if me mentioning something hurtful means I support it or something, as if I was conjuring up an issue by mentioning its name, idk 😅) and, finally, I don't claim to hold the keys to truth or to know the universal human experience, I just have my experiences + what people tell me + statistics and I try to establish a worldview based off that (like everyone else), I'm not trying to undermine anyone's experiences (which people do to me a lot, ironically) or, in this specific case, to claim your parents secretly hate you (or just don't love you) or something - I just experienced my parents not loving the real me and the same thing happening to many people, so I speculate how it works, but maybe it's not true for you at all OR the phenomenon is more complicated (for example, I can understand "mourning" someone who undergoes a very strong physical (and possibly mental) transition, people can react emotionally to a big change (people cry at weddings despite the change only really being legal because you presumably loved the person you're marrying and planned to live with them way before the formality), it may take time to adjust and even trans people often use a language suggesting they're shedding off the old identity and replace it with a new one (for example, "deadname" which I personally replace with "name assigned at birth"), so having a strong emotional reaction to someone coming out doesn't have to mean they didn't love you in the first place, but if they never "get over it" or say something really hurtful, it can be the case - it IS complex and requires case-by-case judgement)
I hope you enjoyed my neurodivergent wall of text, have a nice day/night ❤
they protected your rights to not have your gender non confromity MEDICALIZED. Gender non conformity being completely embraced is what needs to happen, "self determination" is also compeltely influenced by societal gender stereotypes.
@@brockreynolds870
@@brockreynolds870
As a gender nonconforming man, I don't care about medicalization either way, but I'm sick and tired of being harrassed by people who supposedly "mean well".
Also Nex was native American and Two-Spirit was their identity and used both they and he pronouns according to people close to him. Important not to forget or erase this as its also anti Native American attack as well as anti trans. Thank you for raising awareness Matt.
Nex wasn’t two spirit. Not all indigenous nb folk are
nothing on wikipedia about being 2s
Nex was 2s and it's very strange seeing people claim they weren't. Speaking for myself, I prefer trusting the words of people who knew them rather then Wikipedia, lol
Commenting so that this comment gets further up. Nex’s Native identity should be acknowledged
@@transsexual_computer_faery Wikipedia? You honestly think that's a fully legitimate source?
I worry that I endanger my 2 kids because I'm a gay transgender man and their other father is bi. What if just talking about their parents gets them targeted at school?
Awww honey, I know this rightfully won't ease all the understandable anxiety you feel for your children, but trust me when I say that is not YOU endangering your family.
Really malicious and ignorant people are taking this opportunity to turn the dial up in the culture wars - ie stoke bigotry and hatred. And unfortunately as we've all seen, humans can be very fickle and this propaganda is pretty effective. Those of us in the LGBTQ+ community (including allies), will keep up the resistance for sure but what I think you need some now is some reassurance from community and some practical steps you can take so you feel like you have more control.
I'm unsure of you and your partner's ages, I'm a slightly younger millennial living in the West the majority of whose young adulthood was in the relatively calm bliss of post-2010 LGBTQ+ acceptance, however uneven it was.
Maybe this is time to find ways to reach out to gay and queer elders who've been through their own decades of hate (1950s - 2000s say) and draw on both their practical advice and their strength. They made it through those periods of the criminalisation of gayness, systemic institutionalised homophobia in public & private life (eg the Lavender scare), all religious institutions waging war on them, starting the uphill battle to gain family rights (adoption, civil unions & marriages), gay bashing and "corrective rape" (which is coming back full force I fear), the HIV/AIDs crisis, and just general fuckery. They made it through and we need their wisdom and strength again. Let's ask questions of them as the friends & family in our lives, strangers at the gay bars, in online forums, at the LGBT+ organisations, wherever we can find them. We're a community and I'm hoping we can pull together once more.
I'm sorry that this is even something to worry about. I'm so sorry
this @@wolfie9229
Stay safe,please! 🩷🩵🏳️⚧️
Then you gotta bring out thing 1 💪🏽 and thing 2 💪🏽
Nex's mother was registered with the Choctaw Nation and it is extremely frustrating to constantly see white queer people leave out this part of Nex's identity when covering the story. Where I am from, people are bullied, assaulted, and killed for just being native and queer natives have it even worse. I really respect and appreciate everything you do with this Podcast Matt and everything you do for the queer community, but we cannot keep leaving two-spirit and indigi-queer relatives out of the conversation as our marginalized identities intersect to create a specific experience. I will continue to watch and support this podcast as I really believe in what you are doing, I just ask that you keep in mind indigi-queer people.
👏👏
I was kind of waiting for Matt to mention that
Very important that their heritage not be erased!
Thank you so so so much for adding this information about Nex. I’m only learning about their story now after seeing headlines yesterday and this is all so sad.
I read in the New York Magazine reporting on this that although Nex lived on the reservation they themselves were not actually tribal members
Nex's death really shook me as both a nonbinary person and a parent. I can't imagine the pain of losing your child in this way, I feel so sorry, angry, and afraid for queer people and their families living in states that are actively trying to eradicate them.
Nex's death is certainly horrible and shouldn't have happened and I feel for her loved ones. However it seems their death didn't have anything to do with the fight in the bathroom, also I don't see how anyone is trying to "eradicate" queer people?
@ville__ You got the attention you wanted
Let me finish that username VILLAIN.
@@JessicaJGrande are you actually stupid 😭 first of all, you used her when referring to nex. it's they/them. second of all, nex got their head BASHED against a SOLID SURFACE SEVERAL TIMES. it's not a god damn coincidence that they collapsed and died the next day. they probably got some kind of brain injury that ultimately killed them. third of all, you must be either painfully ignorant or are purposefully ignoring everything happening around you. laws are being passed that illegalises trans people existing. it was said in the video that people were trying to eradicate trans and gay existence. i genuinely don't understand how you can be this dense.
@@JessicaJGrandeWake up.
these people who would rather a child to be dead rather than trans, i have no hope for them.
or imprisoned to life without parole for a mistake. Criminal laws must be reformed, prisons as well. And adulthood should start from 25 y.o.
Sounds like manipulation to me.
@ville__Id rather die than subscribe to a person sending a copy pasta for subscribers
@ville__Another fellow Conservative instead of these other liberals?? I will sub.
No?? I wouldnt rather any of them. I would help the child stop being manipulated into thinking he or she is the opposite gender.
20:12 What’s really sad is even most conservatives think simply saying “it’s okay” to a queer kid is too much. I don’t really know how they manage to have such little empathy..
Religion is a crutch to gain power and a mask to hide your lack of humanity.
Oh, that isn't a difficult thing to parse at all. The reason for that is because right wingers are mentally ill. They're on the anti-social spectrum.
@ville__ stop spamming
Heyyyy soooo uhhhh I disagree with conservatives and I support everything but please don’t bring empathy into this. Lots of people that can’t feel empathy (myself included) use logic to understand things and logically there is nothing inherently wrong with being lgbtq. So these people don’t lack empathy they lack intelligence.
@@SodaCider641then stop being liberald
" All Lives Matter until the Life belongs to someone that doesn't bend the knee to Traditional Values"- Conservatives
You do realize that this can be applied on liberal/progressive types right? Your argument isn't much of an argument as I have met leftists who think the same way.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot At least those Leftists are honest in their Hatred.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot This isn't symmetrical, because if conservatives win, everyone they don't like will be exiled from society or die. If liberals win, conservatives lose the ability to hurt other people, not their ability to survive and coexist peacefully. The problem is that conservatives _do not want to coexist peacefully._
The conservative faction is the aggressor, and the liberal faction is acting in defense.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot The sides are not equal. Conservatives are the _aggressor,_ and the left/liberal faction is protecting itself and others from the aggressor.
The thing is,@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot , a person cannot *stop* being LGBTQIA2S+, just as people from racialized minority groups cannot *stop* being the inheritors of the abuses that were inflicted on their ancestors/predecessors.
Meanwhile, the bigots that the communist/socialist leftists and (sometimes) centrist liberals seek to exclude from society *do* have the opportunity to stop being bigoted; they have the opportunity roughly *every* minute of *every* day. However, like soooo many "people" discussed in this video, most of them choose *not* to do so, instead stubbornly digging in their heels, assuming that the values that they live by are inherently correct and beyond reproach, and ignoring and deflecting criticism in the exact manner Chaya Raichik did during the recorded interview.
Thuuuuus...you are *not* making an identical comparison. And, to clarify further: Conservatives want others to *adhere*/live by/adopt to Traditional Values. Their opponents do *not* want Conservatives to convert to living progressively themselves; only to live peacefully by their Traditional Values, so long as doing so does *not* involve trying to force those values onto those that do not *want* them.
Thank you so much for addressing Nex's death. My heart has been bleeding for them, for their community, for everyone who loved them. They were just a kid.
With a name like Nex Benedict, they are frankly an icon even at their young age.
She committed suicide the next day.
Chayas voice irritates me. She slurs her words and clearly doesn't have any stances aside from "this position makes me money". If someone said they'd pay her double to switch sides, she would.
She's laughably awful at speaking. Even worse at thinking on her feet. Has the charisma of a wet carrot. You can see why she hides behind LoTT and didn't start a channel of her own: she doesn't have the talent of Rush Limbaugh, Matt Walsh, or even Candace Owens.
@ville__I definitely don't hope you have a bad fall. No one should do something to you to stop you from voting to restrict the rights of gay people. Have a wonderful day, you monster in human skin.
For me, it's that an adult woman sounds like she's straight out of "Clueless."
She struggles to even feign emotional investment in her so called stances. Like it’s genuinely insulting to people on both sides of this issue.
@@sealogic4552 , exactly. The Red Pillers, MRAs, tradwives, and tradcons who consider themselves at all sincere should object to her lazy, disinterested grift, too!
The attempts by Ottowa officials to downplay and cover up Nex‘s death as a direct result of their own policy and negligence is beyond disgusting.
It’s Owasso.
@@lactobacillusprobiotic7029Owassamattayou
its because nex was both trans and indigenous. theres a lot of factors in play here that make this even more disgusting. its so heartbreaking.
@@minumeyliEmphasis on indigenous. This is not the first and sadly won’t be the last case where the police themselves try to cover up a murder of an indigenous person.
Chaya's refusal to stand her ground on her views, and speak specifically about what *impact* she wants to have is very indicative of her bad faith acting.
"I'm not trying to ban books" is clearly a statement of technicality, and she knows full well that her actions are leading to books being taken out of schools. She knows that many schools are the only places most people can have access to books. She knows that a book "not allowed" in school is likely to be "not allowed" at home (parents do NOT have the time to read every book their kid shows an interest in).
This is what people mean by stochastic terrorism. The double-speak, the pathetic attempts at "plausible deniability", every bit of it.
27:45 "What the fuck does it matter if we're uncomfortable?!"
YES, THIS. That should be the first question we ask when it comes to kids' safety.
She's either gonna double down on her stance or play the victim as always by saying, "The left is being meant to me" or "I can't no longer discriminate against LGBTQ people". 🙄🙄🙄
She's either going to double or triple down on her stance and play the victim as always by saying, "The woke left is being mean to me," "I'm being silenced because I'm conservative, and I want to protect children's innocence from pronouns, drag queens and the alphabet mafia," "I can't discriminate against LGBTQ+ people anymore," or some BS like that. 🙄🙄🙄
She's either going to double down on her stance and then will play the victim as always by saying, "The left is being mean to me," or "They're trying to censor me because I'm a conservative and I want to protect the children's innocence from pronouns, pride flags, the alphabet mafia and drag queens," or the classic "I can't no longer discriminate against LGBTQ+ or marginalized people" or some BS.
@ville__Reported for spam. Seriously wtf is wrong with you a child died.
i've never seen a hate crime victim younger than my age relatively. it's really scary to see literal babies being murdered.
I...think its infantilizing to call Nex a baby.
@tristanband4003 i don't think they meant it in an infantilising way necessarily, more like a "they had their whole life ahead of them"
two 16 year olds being younger then me when they passed, its so crazy
@@HN-kr1nf I think this as well, yes. Though, personally, it is equally tragic regardless of age...They could have been the eldest person of all time, being killed for being enby, trans, gay, or whatever other harmless way people can exist is as tragic as if they were as old as Nex.
Which is to say, it is always crushing and awful. It's enraging and tiring. It depletes me, as a person, but drives me to keep fighting for a world where this doesn't happen anymore...Even if that fight never ends.
@@tristanband4003 i think infantalizing is the least of our worries, what did you take away from their comment except a reason to be upset
I am a high school student in Oklahoma. My school is about an hour away from Owasso High School. When I heard about what happened to Nex, I was very upset and sad for them and their family. Yet the past few weeks, I haven't heard an empathetic response in my school, just people around me talking about Nex and making fun of them and saying how they had it coming and that they deserved it. If that scares me, I can't imagine how scared my queer friends at school feel.
I am a transgender person the same age as Nex. And i can’t even say the story shocked me. because in eighth grade, i had been given several threats to beat me up as well as verbal harassment all because it was out that i was trans. The school did not punish any of the people doing these things to me. they were upset at me.
I’m also transgender and a teen, and it’s shit like this that has forced me back into the closet out of fear. It’s terrible
The fact that they're "softball" questions is kind of the point. With people like Chaya, you don't need any kind of rhetorical tricks, simply asking them continually to elaborate on their views is enough to make them crumble, because there is no thought structure underpinning these beliefs, they literally cannot even explain why they believe these things. So, just politely letting them explain for a bit while digging their own graves is actually a surprisingly effective approach to exposing their beliefs as nonsensical.
I've been trying to deradicalize my friend for some time now. His main concern was always 'gr**ming children into being trans'. I recently told him about this case. I really didn't expect him to be happy. Unbelievable.
I don’t think he’s a friend worth having if he’s getting happy over a child’s death :/
Sorry mate
Yeah he's beyond gone, not someone I would feel safe around Jesus Christ
I told him: 'This reaction says a lot about you' and I haven't talked to him since then. This makes me so sad and angry.
I do believe there are some people who buy into this propaganda genuinely fearing for the children’s safety (not saying they are right about it at all) but your friend sounds like he just genuinely does not like trans people if he can be happy hearing a tragedy like that just because the child in question belonged to the lgbt community. I remember a similar reaction over the death of a teen trans woman in the uk killed by her two “friends” I forget her name this was like a year ago
@@Xxsorafan Brianna Ghey :(
Someone showed my mother matt walsh’s “what is a women” video and she kicked me out. If they actually cared about the children they wouldn’t make us feel so alienated.
@ville__Demon
@ville__ turn to Jesus, Jesus loves you
Unlike your mom
@@Nyx_Featherzz I don't like religion, but it has to be better than that monster.
@@andrewgreenberg1862 how in the name of hell is a deceased child a monster. Some people would argue you’re the monster for saying that about the dead.
What is wrong with these people?? I was shocked at the dude in charge of public schools in OK… how could somebody who’s supposed to be doing the best for children be so cruel?? This is just insane.
He's a conservative, and the cruelty is the point.
The second hand embarassment from watching her interview is insane. "Can't string a sentence together " was putting it nicely
I’m a trans teen who lives in America. I’m fucking scared of my own country. I’m so fucking scared all the time because of these people who say they are trying to protect kids, and teens. The irony here is so frustrating
As a gay femboy in Russia I sadly relate
I'm from Ireland which only legalised homosexuality in 1993 and it's somehow still one of the safer places. (Sadly the healthcare for trans people is garbage)
Same, im scared especially for when election season comes around
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Just know you have people that support you I support you as a cis woman ❤
It's the same for me and it worse as I'm trans and live and Oklahoma, I'm scared for me and my friends and I'm scared of being the next one ending up dead
as a nonbinary person, thank you so much for speaking on Nex's death. It's been really fucking difficult for me. They were a child and part of me feels like I failed them even though i'm literally only 25 and i'm in Canada. It's hard. They were a child.
there's been an update: nex primarily used he/him pronouns according to close friends
yeah i thought one of their friends use he/they
Primarily used he/him according to his partner and friends. But another friend stated they used also they/them. So he/they.
thanks for getting this info out there :) (replying to boost)
This case makes me so sad. I’ve been arguing with strangers in comment sections over how callous some people are being … idk how much good it does, it’s prob a futile effort, but some of the rhetoric being thrown around is disgusting. Thank you for covering this story. Rest in peace, Nex ❤
I do the same. To be honest I'm tired of just ignoring the hate and moving on. These people need to be called out and exposed for their awful rheoteroic
@@supernovasat I appreciate you. So many people are trying to minimize this incident. I can’t stand it.
It's really odd. I'm not sure how to have these conversations anymore. Almost nothing seems to work.
I have had moments in life, where I somehow managed to get on some kind of 'same page'. I didn't backwards engineer that process though, so I have no clue what I did, can't remember.
I just want people to stop driving others into depression and death. For fuck's sake.
If you have the energy to speak, then do so. If not, then there are other ways to help and support the ones who do. Constant vigilance is the price of building a brighter future
They get a rise out of being ignorant. Don’t waste your time
FYI: Nex has been since identified, by his close friends, as a trans boy whose prefered pronouns were he/him.
Though he seemed to go by they/them with his parents. (Not that uncommon if parents are struggling to understand a trans kid and new pronoun usage).
i guess they use they/them for school and family and he/him only for close friends
he/they i guess
yeah you kids need to start focusing on building character rather than arguing about pronouns. 1st world bullshit problems for sure. Grow up.
@@lxmesoda more like it/thing
@@Joe-iq1buTh
Every LGBT American needs to get organized and involved in politics. Too many people are watching from the side lines hoping this will resolve itself.
I also recommend at least learning how to use firearms. Whether you get one is up to you, but learn to use one, get a carry permit
-a transfemme veteran
And cishet allies too, they're not exempt from this.
@@Starufoji Absolutely. I’ve been advocating for LGBTQ rights since I was in high school when the slogan was “straight, not narrow.” Cishet people-we cannot sit on the sidelines; this is our fight too.
No such thing as an LGBT person. I am a gay person tho and will fight against nonsense identities
@ville__I’ll be seeing you in hell.
RIP NEX BENEDICT. You will be remembered as someone whose bright spark left us too soon.
Dude what the actual fuck @ville__ can you not respect the dead??
@@Brain-dead-gamer ignore him, he spams this stuff everywhere
@@Brain-dead-gamerThey don't think we are human. They have no respect for the dead 'animals'. It's about as evil as you can get.
@ville__I don’t sub to confesses pedos
@@Chmze799they’re a pedo too
I've been crying about Nex since their news came to me. I no longer feel any kind of empathy for anyone spouting transphobic beliefs. I'm sorry the adults you trusted to care for you failed you, Nex. We will not let them bury your story. I hope you are resting in power.
Chaya "I didn't say that" is so vapid
Imagine agreeing to an interview and responding to every question with “I didn’t say that”
Like then SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY!! I know terrorist threats are harder to make in real life than online but at least something that doesn’t make u look like a petulant toddler in an argumentative phase
Thank fucking god the situation in Oklahoma is finally getting national attention. Ryan Walters has genuinely had everyone who works in education here in OK in crisis mode this entire school year. My mom is a teacher for Edmond Public Schools, and policy after policy has made her - a parent of two trans adults - fear she will face losing her teaching license and primary source of income if she disobeys the agenda of these targeted attacks against children exactly like her own. Local school districts are finally pushing back and standing firm in their responsibility to support the safety and education of ALL of their students, but it’s tragic and dystopian that it took a kid’s death to make people finally understand that the “anti-woke” movement most of Oklahoma’s politicians are platforming is dangerous in a very serious way. The only silver lining is that this kind of mainstream coverage is exactly what the people here who have been fighting for their lives against these laws and policies from the start needed to be taken more seriously where it matters. I sincerely have to thank everyone who’s using their platform to talk about this. Keep it up.
I'm not American but Nex's death has really affected me. We don't know where else such dangers can come up!
The UK, for one.
Canadian here! I agree. Living in a country town is scary. We have some pride posters and a GSA, but there's so few of us that we're all friends. We stick together. Even if we don't get along, it's better than hanging out with everyone else who makes fun of us.
The newest thing is barking and growling loudly in the halls and in class. It's almost always something totally unexpected as you turn a corner and hear a loud ass bark, so much so that it's nearly impossible to hide a reaction. So, they keep doing it.
It's a terrible world out there. But there are good people! People that can help to create a real safe space rather then the promised one. My school has 2 vice principals, one of which asked to fully change the schedule for lunch monitoring so he can be in specific hallways where it's prone to happening. Checking in on my friends and I at least once a day and saying hi in the halls.
I was on spare last month sitting in a spot that he found where I can be seen on camera from multiple angles and have access to an outlet when he came up to me. He proudly told me that when everyone was walking to first period, there was a grade 9 barking in the main hall. SO HE FOLLOWED THEM DOWN THE HALL TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR BULLYING😂😂😂. That VP and that story will always have a spot in my queer heart. 💚
It's a terrifying world with terrifying people. But you will find someone that will stop everything, just to hunt down a student to make sure that the school is just that much safer.
I knew i was trans before i ever knew the word. In highschool, i socially transitioned without ever telling my parents. I had no idea what i was doing, i just knew i wanted to be seen as someone different. I thrived. I was the weird kid but i loved it.
If i had been in highschool now, i would know what trans is. And i would also know there are people out there who think it is incredibly wrong. I think i would have hidden it away forever
according to some of Nex's friends Nex used he/him pronouns and they/them pronouns but perfered he/him
I heard that too. I think that info only came out recently though and before it was reported that he used they/them pronouns and was non-binary rather than a trans man
Correct! According to his partner and teacher.
They said it at the vigil in Owasso.
This one . . . was visceral. I almost broke on this one. How . . . . ? How can anyone look me in the eyes and say "both sides are the same" or "we need to compromise"? How do you compromise on an issue that where one side wants normal people to be treated . . . ya know . . . normally? And the other side doesn't see it that way and wants them dead. Or at the very least as a stepping stone into solidifying their power.
I just get so lost in my emotions with stories like this. So much pain. So much fear. So much sadness. So much raw anger. This kid died. They were younger than me and I'm not that old! Why? Why is the world poisoned like this? I have hope for the future but in the here and now there's too many bodies for me to feel anything but pain and sorrow. I can only hope that people see reason but more importantly have empathy for their fellow humans.
what you described is “enlightened centrism”, and yes, they are an absolute joke. they are basically just conservatives in disguise, and the only reason they call themselves “centrists” is to feel smarter than everyone else by deliberately picking what they think is in the middle rather than forming their own opinion. they are absolutely pathetic.
The only person I ever met that I knew who assaulted children was a baby sitter that the church helped because he sung for choir. He hurt my brother who was six(i was five) and my cousin who was around the same age as us. My cousins mother took the bribe and my brother didn't want to talk in a court, which makes sense. The church started letting that person go to mexico with other church staff once a year after that. My family members were not the first he hurt, not the last. I bet their town has people like him in it. From what i've read, its very common. But they want to go after queer people instead.
Queer people are not the ones that gave me ptsd as a child they are not the danger
They never cared about our children. I'm worried about the future, because the far-right is rising in Europe, where I live, and I'm worried for mine, my girlfriend's and (if we end up having, then our) children's rights.
I’m 16 I’m also a sophomore in high-school. Hearing and reading about Nexe’s story has been absolutely heartbreaking. They didn’t even get to live a full beautiful life. They died too young and didn’t deserve that. I’m absolutely heartbroken and it kills me that politicants are not doing anything about this issue. All they want to do is spread hate and criminalize our community. I have never ever heard a story about a trans or nonbinary person assaulting someone in a public bathroom. But what I have seen is cisgender people assaulting trans and nonbinary people in bathrooms. Rest in power Nex you were absolutely incredible and a wonderful person ✊🏻🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
What annoys me most about people like Chaya is that when someone calls them out, they immediately try to backpedal. They can dish it out but they can't take it. Cowards.
how do I send this to my conservative parents without sending it to them lol
omg I sent it anyways
@@jennyforrest4680 god speed brother o7 lmao
Wishing you the best and your parents listen to this.
Be brave, gentlefriend.
godspeed
As a queer person, it makes me incredibly angry and sad that all the school seemed to was blame Nex themself and even suspending them for defending themself!
Suspending him for defending himself is not just that schools policy, its common practice. Not saying it's right but it's done all over America.
@officerdeathyou literally sought out the video to comment on it. Clearly you do.
I just find it so wild that America would criticise a country that is dictated by a religion. They'd probably call it an attack on freedom. Do they not see the irony?
That's because those people don't see themselves as people and they don't see Christianity as a religion. They see themselves as "The Standard"; they do not think of themselves as not cisgender, heterosexual or Christian.
Religious nuts want to have their cake and eat it too.
You don't see the irony that gender woo IS a religious cult?
I love the implication that gender is truth because like... no. Gender has changed so many times throughout history. If we lived in a world where nobody lied we'd all basically be non binary. I say this as a cis person.
She has a weak argument because the only real thing that she's doing is enjoying bullying people who really can't fight back. She's a full-blown predator
What happened to Nex was murder, plain and simple, also a hate crime.
@@user-jw4bg1km8r it takes less than 3 brain cells looking at this case to determine Nex' attackers intended bodily harm.
Nex started the fight
@@rhymerlegend2717
Doesn't matter if Nex started the fight. A CHILD is DEAD. Getting splashed with water shouldn't have resulted in the death certificate of a sixteen year old child. Regardless of what their pronouns were, this was a murder. Those girls deserve prison time, no question.
@@sleepybatteriezzz of course they do. But Nex’s death had nothing to do with what she identified as
@@rhymerlegend2717damn, you can read minds now? Why are you using that totally legit power for good?
4:42 Just clarifying: being autistic is not an excuse. I'm autistic and if I'm unsure something is sarcasm I ask.
Matt wasn't trying to say that autistics not getting sarcasm would behave like this due to being autistic, just that that's another reason why someone might not notice, so there's nothing to excuse. And in terms of asking, you have to notice that you're missing something in order to know to ask, so that's not always accessible. I think this instance is a good example of that. Because again, the point was not that being autistic would make it okay to do what that guy did. It was just awkward phrasing, non-autistics do this sometimes. And if you don't know that you don't know, you can't ask.
I don't always realize that other people are being sarcastic enough to even ask. That was a fair comment.
"I'm autistic and if I'm unsure something is sarcasm I ask."
Then you get made fun of for not understanding the sarcasm. No thanks.
hey, someone who's also autistic here, diagnosed as a toddler and considered low-functioning. autism can absolutely be an "excuse" for not picking up on something like that, as silly as it might seem to you. sometimes i don't even realize something Could be sarcasm, so i don't ask and just take it at face value. just because you can kind of pick up on social cues doesn't mean everyone is like you. autism is a spectrum. your experience is not universal. stop acting like it is.
@@hideawaysis tbf I'm really good at masking to the point most people don't realize I'm autistic, and I still take sarcasm at face value about half the time, if not more. I don't like this label, but I'd count as "high functioning". I agree that it being a spectrum makes it hard (and silly) to make any generalizations though. Each of us has different things we find more challenging. I can kind of detect when something is meant as a cruel "joke" but when it's actual humor it can throw me off a lot.
Beautiful tribute to Nex and the children being harmed by these insane zealots. ❤
Pot calling the kettle black.
@@chrisbfreelance Are any right wing children gone? No. But there are plenty of left wing children gone. So who is the zealot?
@@chrisbfreelance
One side literally allowed the murder of a trans indigenous kid. I don't know what's going on with you but they are clearly not the same
@@chrisbfreelance
One side literally allowed the murder of a trans indigenous kid. I don't know what's going on with you but they are clearly not the same
What have I done exactly? I don't recall doing anything insane or zealous, perhaps you could enlighten me a bit?
Being native american and a non binary parent AND being from Oklahoma, it really pisses me off with the level of hate we allow.
Powered by Rainbows has a video going over other allegations against the school by other lgbtq students. It gets dark, and definitely looks like unofficial policy was conversion therapy, even going as far as "corrective" SA
When this news broke out, it reminded me of this argument I had with a friend. He was telling me how trans women should be excluded from women's sports/bathrooms. Being a complete sucker for kulturekampfs. Anyway, I told him I wasn't a lib but that it was dumb to exclude them from these since the whole premise is based on them being "manly" enough to be dangerous to women. That if trans women were in the same bathroom as men, there would be a greater chance of SA since a lot of men do not have no in their vocab. He couldn't comprehend what I said, and iirc, I could tell he got frustrated about it. It's a shame he's a sucker for this nonsense since it's another repackaging of McCarthyism, and the people who preach about this don't care about families. If they did, they would br 100% against any intervention the US goes into and would rather advocate for policies that would materially support families, like subsidizing any or all marriage, homes, baby care stuff, etc. Instead, they advocate for austerity and funding for client states, like Israel.
It's also a serious misunderstanding of how medical transition works.
My partner is non-binary and transitioning the way a trans woman would. I'm a trans man (FtM) and have been on hormones for years.
My partner has lost a lot of their muscular strength and because of our differences in testosterone and estrogen levels, I gain muscles far easier than they now can.
Many cisgender women even have greater levels of testosterone than many trans women, since trans women carefully regulate their hormone levels unlike most cis people.
Even before my partner and I started medically transitioning... I was taller and broader than them. Some people born female are even naturally built like a brick. You don't even need to be taller or heavier or have higher levels of testosterone to be able to keep up with others physically. Testosterone cannot make up for fitness level, technique, and knowledge.
Also people honestly completely underestimate what females can do, physically, in general. Including women. Which contributes to this thinking towards (primarily) trans women.
Imagine suspending and threatening a teen for splashing their bullies while the bullies that harassed them for a year and literally beat them to death are treated like saints, it's sick that some monsters are trying to 'no-angels' Nex and acting like he deserved to die for self defense. Usually the same people that won't stop screeching about gun rights because they're chomping at the bit for an excuse to kill someone.
Not even getting to Senator Tom Woods calling Nex 'filth' he was happy to see removed from his state.
1. Rest in Peace Nex Benedict
2. Like I’ve been saying a lot now, I’m gonna bet that Chaya is gonna start targeting Neurodivergent people next once they’re done with Trans people. Like could you imagine the shit she would say about ADHD, Autism, heck even DID Systems.
3. Someone get this lady on a debate with an actual SMART trans person, wonder how that would go down
She would probably be an insufferable see you next Tuesday to them the entire time it wouldn't be a debate it would just be an opportunity for her to act like a horse's ass.
The party of "save the children" doesn't care about the children! Shut them up about their compassion about children!
I call them anti-choice for their beliefs on kids and abortions
1:01 Seeing that kitten made this a bit easier.
It also makes me even sadder because on top of all the ways Nex was failed by the school and his family and whatnot, that little kitty is probably wondering where their human friend is.
It's all about protecting children until the children in danger don't fit your aesthetic.
Who are the only kids who they protect
@@TheCoolJavelin7ones who will vote republican and be Christian and live for traditional gender roles
These little girls quite literally murdered someone after they poured water on them for being bullied. They will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Everyone failed Nex in this situation.
fr
hate to be a downer but that's the only justice i realistically see coming out of this situation; everyone--those girls, school staff, etc--living with the weight of their actions or inactions
i doubt we're still going to be talking about nex given a month's time
ive pretty much run out of hope at this point, conservatives mastered the propaganda game and have more than enough money to fund it
i don't like myself becoming a doomer but im just fucking done
"Those who fail to remember the past (or learn from history) are doomed to repeat it" ~ George Santyana.
the person conducting that interview with Ms. libs of tiktok is a fucking SAINT
I watched the police bodycam footage when an officer visited Nex in hospital. He straight up victim-blamed them, said they could be charged with assault for pouring water on their bullies. I'm sorry Nex. You deserved a long and beautiful life.
@@user-jw4bg1km8rOnly on the wicked witch of the West
@@user-jw4bg1km8r throwing someone and slamming their head against the ground is also assault
@@user-jw4bg1km8rit is technically assault from a legal standpoint. Nex did get *physical* first but that does not warrant bodily assault. Obviously it was a hate crime. I understand why Nex poured the water, probably knowing that ignoring them and telling a teacher won’t do anything to solve the issue but the police are never going to tell a teenager or any adult for that matter that they can retaliate words with throwing water at someone. If it had ended there and Nex wasn’t murdered it would be *wrong* and they should’ve ignored them. But honestly at the age I probably would’ve thrown water at those evil bitches too. Nex was murdered point blank. I’m not comparing the severity of water pouring to MURDER - I’m just saying you could sue a bigot that throws water at you 😞
@@HydraggleBattery*
This is the 3rd time I'm posting a comment cuz YT doesn't like mean words that are warranted.
Chaya is responsible for this tragedy, full stop.
Every time I see any pictures of Nex, or what their goals were, or how they were a straight A student, it breaks my heart and makes me want to cry. Nex deserved so much better than this. And that Chaya and her equally morally bankrupt ilk get to do this, with prejudice and repentless malice and are not only able to do so under "apparent" plausible deniability, but get money for it, boils my blood.
LGBTQI+ kids deserve better, they shouldn't have to be dealing with this, they deserve to be happy, safe and loved.
Dagny Benedict's death was unintended, Chaya had nothing to do with it.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot Yeah, she definitely hasn't been advocating for violence against Nex's community. Oh wait: That's all she does.
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bottheir name was Nex. Are you done lying yet?
I hate this so much, this whole sutuation is so horrible and I hate how powerless I am to change anything.
Rest in power Nex.
You cannot change what has already happened but you are not powerless. Vote. Donate. Advocate. We are not powerless to bring about change.
@@alexwyatt2911 I know that but you see, I live in Mexico and I don't have any money to give, all I can do is scream into the infinite void of the internet in an attempt to advocate or engage with this type of content so hopefuly the algorithm boosts it's reach a bit.
In community we can make a change but seing this happen, I just feel so angry and so powerless. I wish I could do much more
@carri0n977 I feel you so hard here. I'm american and I do vote. but I make no money and can't help at all anywhere. I always feel useless and weak.
@@imCarri0nyou can help people in your country and tell people good ideas.
nex was indigenous! as someone who is also indigenous AND nonbinary (with some distant choctaw descent mixed in with my family's tribe), this is so so important to nex's identity. please do not leave out the implications of this death.
it’s just gotten so scary. i’m a young queer adult living in south dakota and there’s times where i sincerely wish i could just put myself back into the closet bc being openly queer is just so scary these days. it would be so much easier if i could just be better at hiding.
*Hugs* I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best.
@OfficerZ637 *hugs* I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best.
@OfficerZ637 average russky brain after it got turned to mush in Harkiv.
@@AnnSmajstrla thank you :) i have at least a little hope left that things will eventually get better for queer folk
@OfficerZ637 you have to be ultra dumb or high on meth to believe that in the 21st century
watching the interview at 8:35 reminded me of those videos of experiments with children where they ask something like “how many chocolates are on the floor” and the kid responds with something like “yeah i like chocolate”. never before have i ever seen such a strong embodiment of a toddler in a full grown woman.
This was one of the hardest podcasts to listen to, and entirely worth suffering through.
My first inkling of something being *off* was at the age of five. It was 1981, so I had no way of knowing what was going on. I had the luxury of having amazing parents and was still terrified to come out to them as trans in 1995.
When I finally got to transition 25 years later, my father was so understanding and gentle. I'm so glad Nex had parents who showed him the kind of compassion that every child deserves. Thank you for highlighting them. They didn't do things perfectly, but they acted out of love.
I won't address the others, as you've hit that one out of the park.
I will conclude with a quote from of all places, a God of War game: "Hope is what we fight with when all else is lost."
edited to correct pronouns.
corny as fuck why did you quote god of war
Him* and also I'm glad that you had a father that supported you
That school failed. Shame, absolutely shameful.
The “justice” system as well
The justice system as well
Teachers showing/saying they accept queer and trans kids doesnt only help queer and trans kids. It helps all kids who look or feel different in any way at any time. Would a kid ever ask an adult who has openly shamed another student, for help with sensitive issues at home? Or anything even remotely personal? No.
Having accepting, loving, and supportive people is never a negative and can only help a community grow.
Commenting for the algorithm. Rest in peace, Nex Benedict
Elected officials shouldn't be allowed public social media accounts, actually, maybe. I don't think Pennsylvania even _has_ a state super intendant.
Im sorry but i cant listen to this without experiencing destructive murder rage. I support you for having the strength to talk about Nex's story though.
same, ive been putting these videos on mute and letting them play in the background so they get picked up by the algorithm
I'm surprised you didn't mention Tom Woods of Oklahoma's state senate who referred to LGBTQ people as "filth" that he and his constitutents "don't want in their state" after being asked about his and the rest of Oklahoma's state legislature's obsession over LGBTQ people and how it lead to the death of Nex Benedict.
He offered condolences to Nex's family, only to proceed to discuss how Oklahoma is a Christian Republican state. That there's no room for such "filth" in Oklahoma.
i genuinely feel so disgusted at how everything in america failed Nex. the education system, the healthcare system, the politicians. Each and every institution has their blood on their hands in the name of turning a profit or "protecting the children". I'm sorry, Nex. you were a child.
I'm 40 now. I was raised in a fundamentalist house, and for most of my childhood in the south. I had no one to talk to. I was terrified. All the time. Every single day. I hated myself, and thought there was something really wrong with me, but I didn't have anyone I felt safe to talk about it with. I knew a kid who's parents found out she was gay, and I didn't see her for a year. When I did see her again, she was so broken for so long, it shattered me. But it also reinforced that no one, not even my parents, were safe to tell. If I had had a teacher, even just one, who had told me it would be okay. That there wasn't anything wrong with me... Who knows. But I will die fighting for those kinds of kids. Fighting for their right to exist and their right to be who they are.
Cheekily referring to people as "haters" and "losers" with a duck face and a peace sign is absolutely the calling card of one of those bullying mean girls. She 100% peaked in middle school.
Matt, this is the best podcast you've ever done. your delivery of every single point left a lump in my throat for the entirety of the podcast. thank you for bringing awareness in a way that hopefully brings some people to question their beliefs about trans kids. rest in power, Nex.
Protect the children, more like Isolate the children.
Comment for the algorithm. A lot of these types of people are bullies who grew up, still acting like they did in elementary, middle school and high school.
LOL CHAYA ISN'T EVEN 30?! HAHAHA what a pathetic waste
Ageism isnt cute no matter where you direct it.
an extremely rough 28. this is what hate does to you lol
you dont have to be misogynst just because shes a piece of shit
Fr I thought she was in her early 40s 💀💀💀
@@juans213 , she looks 40, but talks like she's 14.
you can't be a supporter of free speech, and oppose the individual right to self-expression
Thank you so much for covering this specifically because you're the only person I've heard pronounce Chaya. I was starting to think I was crazy.
i remember hearing about this a few weeks ago. it's infuriating to me, the fact that the 'trans bathroom debate' is still this massive issue for conservatives (especially still here in the UK, where the government recently blocked our gender recognition bill in Scotland, which they shouldn't be allowed to do). i, and many others, have been saying for years that the people who are at most risk in public bathrooms, changing rooms, etc. are trans people. they are far more likely to be targeted, and happens much more frequently than major news outlets report, because it doesn't fit the groomer narrative panic. and for the 'centrists' on the issue, where was their advocacy and compassion for this child who was murdered after being bullied for being non-binary? the same people who claim to not be on any 'side' are once again so clearly on the right, because they would rather talk about trans people being a danger in bathrooms than talk about trans people being IN danger. it makes me sick. rest in peace to this poor child. they deserved so much better, and we will carry their name with us as we continue to fight for trans rights
That could be a great public speech
Chaya needs to be sued as she has claimed in the Taylor interview to be a journalist.
Defamation laws are a thing and they are indeed something Journalist must abide by.
she has confirmed she knew her posts were wrong, and has said Community notes were good enough for correcting
anything not correct in them so she does not retract the stories or posts.
all I am saying is, if I were a lawyer, I would go in on this, especially now that she is a part of the library board in Oklahoma.
Ryan and Chaya deserve the Alex Jones treatment.
oh. my. god. that interview was SO PAINFUL
ryan and chaya murdered that child. they need to be held accountable
Exactly. They both deserve life behind bars. I know that absolutely won't happen until society hugely changes, though; but who knows, technically such a change could even hypothetically happen soon, I would hope.
Legal action is unlikely to bear fruit. Civil action, on the other hand... These assholes need to be Alex Jones'd
And if you weren`t a keyboard warrior using your anonymity to act tough, you wouldn`t say such nonsense. The law will be changed soon and creeps like you will be shamed and sued.
You want society changed so the Left can put people behind bars just because you don`t like them. Great. That`s called fascism.@@feliciaroseantonia
I fail to see how Chaya reposting videos of people have public freakouts means she is responsible for the death of a child who was killed by someone else's hands
People who say “But nex started it” are disgusting, that wasn’t a fight, that was a “provocation” as an excuse to beat someone up so badly, that- direct or not -they died soon after
...but they did. They literally said it themselves. Acknowledging that this particular fight was started by them doesn't suddenly mean they aren't a victim.
Like you don't just throw water on someone and expect nothing to happen to you.
@@stuffynosepatrol what sane person would expect to have their head bashed against the ground repeatedly over throwing water? one side got wet, the other was hospitalized. it was the attackers that escalated it to such an extreme level, not nex
@@babs_babs the girls over reacted, however, Nex was the one who decided to make it go from just words to physical aggression when they threw that water on the girls. They should have expected some kind of physical retaliation.
@@stuffynosepatrol i don’t get it. a child was beaten and hospitalized, and they’re the ones you blame? you call it an “overreaction” instead of a violent assault. you put splashing some water in the same category as giving someone a concussion. do you agree with the attackers ideology? why tf else would you be saying this shit? it was those three girls who made the choice to jump on top of nex, grab their head, and hit it repeatedly against the ground, and all you can do is say “yeah that was nex’s fault”. like you need a child to be the perfect victim, even when it’s a three vs one attack. wtf?
They don't even like their own kids
Bro UA-cam literally removed my comment about me wishing karma on both Chaya and Ryan for causing this much pain 💀
That’s been happening to me constantly too. We’re held to a higher standard than these right-wing stochastic terrorists.
for once google actually removes a comment calling for violence. interesting
@@theoneandonlyufomini-bot How do you feel about Conservatives that call for violence?
@@ethandollarhide7943 remove their comments too. I just find it to be one sided when a comment that says "there are only two genders" gets removed for "hate and violence" while a comment that says "all transphobes need to be stabbed to death" is left up.
@@ethandollarhide7943 it doesn't matter who's calling for actual violence, it's all the same, a death threat
the fact that chaya (i think thats how you spell it) cant say anything besides "thats not what i said" or "theres a mainstream lie" should show how flimsy the backbone of transphobia is
Why? It's true
@@PanzarInthelake pipe down sock puppet
It's so hard to listen to all this. Thank you for sharing these stories and getting your message out there 🥲
34:29 watching this in Dec 2024 is honestly scarier than when this came out. We’re so f**ked Matt and it’s so scary
I feel sick over that poor kid's death.
I've said for years now. "Family Values" conservatives absolutely don't value my family.
Chaya is 100% gonna be Millennial Alex Jones
As a trans student in Oklahoma, so Nex's story hits particularly close to home. There is a massive problem in this state at a legislative and societal level that makes all forms of bigotry common. It isn't safe here, but I'm not in a position to get out. This murder is something that I can see happening in any school across the state, to any queer student, and that is not okay.
RIP Nex 💐
Thanks for explaining the backstory regarding Benedict's death. With the limited blurb that the story got from the mainstream media I was under the impression that this person committed suicide.
That was truly such a strong and powerful outro to this video. As a child who once suffered in silence too, my heart goes out to all of them out there struggling under the weight of a world they didnt ask to be brought into.
Thank you for talking about this and in such a thorough way. You went above and beyond on this one and it was absolutely needed, their "beliefs" are so transparently harmful but their game is one of not backing down, so we can't either.
I really don't want Nex's death to be in vain, how many have to die before something is done to ensure queer kid's safety...
I’d bet money Ryan Walter’s chrome history at work is filled with some f***ed up p0rnhub videos.
I would not bet against you