Life After Loss | Part 3: Hate
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2023
- Part 3 represents the most pivotal moment in Paul’s journey yet, as he confronts the darkest depths of his trauma head on. In the first part of the episode, Paul struggles to let himself feel the uncomfortable emotions he has towards his late daughter - feelings of anger, hate and rage. To get him out of his head and more into his body, in the second half of the episode I take Paul out of the therapy room for some trauma release work in the woods, yielding unexpected and cathartic results.
Life After Loss takes you on an emotional and transformative journey alongside Paul, a father bravely confronting his unimaginable grief following the loss of his daughter to suicide. Throughout this season, we delve into ways to navigate grief, liberate yourself from childhood trauma, and unlock your full potential in life. We also explore a fundamental question: Is healing possible after the loss of a child?
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In Therapy with Alex Howard is a first-of-its-kind series that places you directly in the therapy room. Join us each week as we follow every step of people’s journeys, both in and outside of the therapy room, and learn the tools to unlock your true potential.
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Content is produced by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Jeremiah Fernandes (Instagram: @jeremiah.fernandes).
I was dreading the session in the woods, I knew Alex was going to push me, but I never expected what came up, I will be forever grateful to him for being so delicate and dedicated with me and not allowing me to walk away from my feelings during our work together, thank you Alex
Paul, i felt so priveledge to watch this raw and painful experience for you. Thank you so much for allowing us to be a witness to your internal struggles, it means so much in the world where men have been dehumanized for centuries. Alex did an amazing job of being that compassionate witness to your feelings and the walls you had to build to protect yourself. Thank you, thank you again! You are a paradigm changer!!!
Deep thanks to you Paul (and Alex). Such an example to watch you go to the place you fear most. Seeing your strength and courage. Thank you for letting us witness it.
Just an incredible experience to witness your story and healing journey. Thank you for your bravery and generosity.
Thank you so much for allowing us to witness your vulnerabilities. We aren’t perfect robot parents, we are human parents.
This one was a beautiful sessions in It’s own way.
Sitting by the tree which is scared. Still growing, once hurt, yet witnessing the hurt, the fear, the hate and holding the love, the connection and the power of all what is to be and feel human. God this is so powerful, so healing. Like the tree, many will lean into this episode. You are beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you, was very hard to do, but it was something I had to do.
Alex is a real pro and I felt safe in his hands, even though I did not want to go where he was taking me emotionally
Kudos to Alex-that’s what GREAT therapist looks like and does
Wow
He is great at building the bonds of trust to allow me to go to the place I have dreaded going. I had complete trust in him.
Thank you 🙂
I wish I had this kind of therapist during my trauma. This man has been through a lot. A strong man indeed
„Couple of old man trying to get up”, that one really cracked me and teared me up. This repressented the real male friendship that I never had. This is exacly what I needed. Amazing act of connection, this collected laugh, after such a stressfull work. Vasopressin and male bonding at It’s best.
Er no. They can't be friends they have a therapeutic relationship.
Doesn't this go to show how at the heart of healing and recovery from trauma and grief is emotion? Or repressed emotion that could not be felt at the time. Paul, you showed great courage in going back to being that child again and experiencing what you were not able to originally. Alex, you really stayed with Paul all the way and took him to where he needed to go. Thank you both for sharing this session.
Thank you, I knew this was necessary in order to heal, was tough, but had to be done.. And Alex pushed me all the way, but with grace and skill.
Goodness, such therapeutic and relational depth in action here. I found this deeply moving. As a therapist myself, I have so much respect for you Alex, and for you Paul, for your courage and trust in the process of therapy, and on top of that, to share part of that incredibly personal journey here. Thank you.
Thank you, I will say, 3 things
1. I had complete confidence in Alex,
2. Alex gained my trust very quickly from the very first session.
3. I was very open to this process and ready willing and able to face the truth.
It was such a powerful experience. I had hit Rick bottom and I had to deal with this.
Timing was perfect for me to be open and honest about how I felt. And face the pain.
Im impressed with the way you managed this work, and Paul huge respect for letting yourself go and trust!
Thank you, it was tough, but Alex had my back and I always felt comfortable letting go.
Wow! How incredibly raw that was and amazing to see the way that he was able to trust you Alex to go to that place. It just shows that your technique works. Sometimes I think traditional talking therapy needs that bit extra...and I think you've got it
I had tried traditional therapy and no one got close to the issues until Alex used his skills, I always had complete and utter trust in him. a very special man.
Thank you, I appreciate it - this kind of therapeutic work really is a relationship, and I was deeply grateful for Paul trusting me in the way he did 🙂
Well, as someone who’s going through this process right now, I really feel for this man and the potential of the healing that was lost by having the camera crew following him and the awareness of the most vulnerable parts of himself being filmed. This process is so deeply intimate and I can’t even imagine any real healing taking place in this kind of setting. I hope there is deeper level of work that he is able to do privately.
I think Paul was to immersed in the process for the camera to get in the way
Hi, I never worried about the camera's, the only time I really was aware was in the woods, but that did not last long, and I defiantly got the breakthrough I came for. There was a lot of footage cut and that would have put a bit of context to what you refer to, thank you...
@@PaulRibbons so wonderful to hear that you found the process healing and supporting 🙏 After all, that’s the whole point. Everyone’s journey of healing is different, and I as long as it’s profoundly rewarding for you, that’s all that matters! Shine on beautiful soul! You got this!✨
I was especially impressed with the moments where the client looked as if he might strike you, but you continued to provide a holding environment. I almost cringed when you reached out to soothe him physically by rubbing his back. I do know of therapists who have been physically attacked during session. I am just wondering how you developed that trust between you and the client to where he would not actually strike you while in this pent-up, newly released alternate child mode. Was there some type of prior process talking about things that might have been edited?
An amazing set a Videos on your process!
So invaluable to see as a therapist! Such a great job. You are so poised, always seeming to know the right thing to say or do. I almost never see a falsemoment -just amazing.
Even though it looked like I wanted to strike Alex, I was aware he was a representation of my father, there was a very tight bond between us, and he would of done what ever it took, we both knew what outcome we wanted, I will always be grateful for his patients, skills and insights of how to deal with me.
Thank you - there was no discussion of what unfolded before, as although we went in with some objectives around releasing emotions, there was no knowing the way it would unfold. However, if you have seen the first two episodes you will see the journey we went on to build trust, and I would never start in this place with someone.... and, I also go to a place which is a little hard to explain when working in this way... we are in it together, and whatever is meant to happen will happen....
Hi Paul! Your work with Alex was inspiring! Your willingness to claim your feelings, trust and work the process to the point of a break-through was so courageous.
@@AC-pz3dlthank you
This episode really dug deep. I was weeping with you, Paul. You don’t want to be angry with your own child and yet you can’t help how you feel! I’ve decided that I need to let my daughter watch this, as sensitive a subject as this will be for her. She’s attempted suicide and been hospitalized twice over the past 17 months. She experienced childhood trauma and came out as gay about 4 years ago. But if it will help her realize how hard it is for those left behind, and that death is not the answer, maybe she will stop fighting her depression and will continue working through it. As someone who has experienced depression and tried to commit suicide, I know how difficult this can be. Paul, thank you for your openness and vulnerability. I hope you have found some measure of peace in Alex’s therapy and will continue to walk forward. Thank you both for bringing this shadowy subject into the light!
Brilliant brilliant brilliant stuff 👍
Now I watch it back, its shows so well, it was such a privilege to work with him, I will say it was even better than he made it look
🙂
❤️💝❤️🙏🏻
Alex, can you please explain why you keep on getting in his space, why you keep moving round in front of him when he turns away. (This is infuriating and would have made me want to punch you). What is the purpose of doing it?
This was very deliberate to increase the pressure around the emotional work. I would not work in this way with everyone, and this was a while into our therapeutic relationship where we'd build a lot of trust between us. Paul and I discuss this tactic in the Q & A and he shares his experience of it....
Thanks for your reply. Wasn't he broken enough without trying to break him more 😢!
I missed the q&a
Not to worry. The Q&A is available here on my channel.
Excellent