Company of Heroes 2 is a Perfectly Balanced Masterpiece
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- "just burn them. just burn them all".
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#coh#memes #gaming
"I'm pretty sure using prisoners...isn't...against the Geneva Convention? But what would I know - I haven't read it"
What the world doesn't find out won't hurt them.
Valefisk, smart enough to like his own comment to get the ball rolling, just like me!
Brits used prisoners for war, and the penal are prisoners from rosya not another country so i think its ok
The geneva convention doesn't apply to your own prisoners.
I can defeat 2 exp cpus come on man...
American inf spam ftw
I waisted life...
Germans you only play tank telescope or mp grenadier spam commander xD
"Give prisoners a machine gun and they can do anything."
Well, except cull emus, I guess.
UnitRico how dare you
Those were trained Australian soldiers that failed to cull those emus, not prisoners
@@jonnykill78 same thing
Man...Emus are such un-cullable foes....
Man, it hurts. Really hurts.
@@jonnykill78 woooooosh
Vale "The Geneva Convention is just a suggestion" Fisk
They can't sue us if their dead.
I prefer: Vale "The Geneva To-Do List" Fisk
Vale "Your nightmares are my wank material" Fisk
Vale “company of war criminals” Fisk
The Geneva Suggestion.
At 150k valefisk needs to read the Geneva Convention live.
YES
Yes. We need to know exactly how he broke the Geneva Convention.
*THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.*
It's time
yeah pls do that
Well, at least the second round was historically accurate.
@Jake Ryan Well... It sorta is.
I mean, if you count all the way from 1943, that's the war for the Germans. Low on resources and fighting a losing battle against the Russian spam of tanks, artillery and men. Backed against a wall and became sitting ducks, fighting a losing defensive war towards Berlin (The wall)
"It's only war crimes if you lose."
- Rebel's words of wisdom
WW2 confirms.
That makes sense actually
That's actually quite true...I mean look at USA(compare WW2 and Vietnam)...
@@lukatoprek936 In WWII the Japanese and Soviets had the most war crimes by far, but then in Vietnam America decided it wanted that title for itself
As an Australian i endorse this use of prisoners
honour your ancestors ....
Our ancestors were sketchy blokes
Clarke me too
Well to be fair Australia only recieved around 1/4 of the amount of prisoners the British colonies in America recieved but hey I guess facts don't matter cause murica
"Oh no, the Tiger's gone, and with it any hope of victory."
-- Unknown German commander, the battle of Kursk
or the Germans during the Operation Bagration
NOBODY TELL HIM OKW HAVE AN INCENDIARY COMMANDER
Baron Black Music WHOOPS
*heavy breathing*
@@Valefisk FUCK HE FOUND OUT
@@Valefisk I think he's having Vietnam flashbacks *forunate son plays in dostance*
Feuersturm is a meme Doctrine
8:00 "How many tanks do they HAVE!? This is ridiculous!" -- historically accurate paraphrase from Hitler Sept 1941.
"If we hear screaming then we know they are coming."
-Valefisk
Company of War Crimes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Company of War Criminals 2: Holocaust Boogaloo
Company of War Crimes 2: Red October In November
We're 30 seconds in and he's already talking about how the Soviet purge was right and I think we're off to a *SMASHING* start.
10:00 - Battle of the Kursk (1943), colourised
*The Entire Eastern Front after 1943
"As fun as it is to use prisoners as meatshields, I don't think this video would be complete if I didnt at least pay some mention to the true war criminals here."
Was expecting to see you switch to US Forces.
Vale "War Crimes" Fisk is too poor for DLC
"B-but the Americans did war crimes too!!!"
Shut up wehraboo.
Wyatt Earp Yeah, like 5000x more. American war crimes amount to lack of discipline. German war crimes were directly ordered by the high command.
wehraboo 100
Nah, you can do Germans.
Playing football with England is apparently a war crime
I’m surprised he didn’t use the Soviet 203mm meme artillery
Been awhile since I played the game but doesn't it have a short range? Maybe I'm thinking of a different arty piece (the German one perhaps)?
Yeah you’re thinking of the Germans because the 203mm gun has a a stupidly long range but also has a very long reload time but if you are able to get them to veteran 1 for precision strike and get multiple of them you can konigstigers insanely quickly
I miss when the meme artilery still have precision strike cause now they have only the anti vehicle precise shot.
"but what would I know? I haven't read it" don't lie vale, we all know you read it just so you knew how to break the rules more effectively.
1. Refund the game (if you got it for free)
2. ???
3. Profits
That's how you get a victory royale
Steam says no no, since you got the game for free you can't be refunded for it. Ripity F.
@@neonnifyy8003 r/whooosh?
@@KaponeSpirs this really pisses me off especially almost everyone in the Subreddit. It's r/woooosh it has no H only in the end and it's 4 Os.
next up in Valefisk's wild totally historic adventure: Australians fighting for the Soviet Union in World War 2
During WW2 the Soviets didn't sign the Geneva convention...
Soviets took their own document that was very similar to Geneva convention, but with a few differences. They just thought they dont need to sign it because they already participated in the Hague conference. And, unlike Germany, USSR followed it and was humane with the captives.
Космический Кисик I do hope you realize that (according to the Soviet government) that at least 1 million out of the 3 million POWs that were taken died in captivity.
@@cornvuscornax4719 I do hope you realize, that Germany ignoring Geneva convention (THAT THEY SIGNED BY THE WAY) resulted in 3.3 to 3.5 million deaths of soviet captives. German captives in USSR died mostly due to damage to the USSR economic due to the war where USSR had problems with providing enough food to the captives.
P.S. According to Soviet government around 356 678 german captives died. 1 million out of 3 is estimated by western historicians.
@Mr Meow "after Barbarossa they had a lot of Soviet pow and just send them home."
What the fuck are you talking about, Germany didn't send any captives back to USSR ever.
"Soviets did nothing, but rape their way through Europe."
Sure, of course. Its an exaggerated stereotype that have been around to first show to german citizens that "soviets are monsters beware them" and then it just transferred to western europe and USA as part of anti-soviet propaganda.
"German pow in Soviet captivity had like a 2% survival rating."
German captives death ratio, even by western historicians, is estimated as 33%, even so, it's still not accurate and is being disputed by both western and russian historicians. And again, if Germany mistreated soviet captives on purpose, USSR did it unintentionally, it happened due to problems with economy due to german invasion, USSR couldn't supply captives with enough food sometimes, so most german captive deaths were due to lack of supply.
@@Someone-lr6gu My dude the red army raped and burned all of Poland whilst retaking it, what are you on about with the stereotype
Don't worry Valefisk. It can get a lot worst. You could be facing a player in a 1v1.
*_The Geneva Suggestion_*
“Burn them, just burn them, no remorse, no mercy.”- Valefisk 2019
Valefisk being tried for warcrimes after the war:
Prosecution: What did you do when someone handed you a copy of the Geneva Conventions?
Valefisk: Threw it away and said TL;DR
"Run away, Australians!"
VS
"Runaway Austrailians!"
Punctuation saves lives.
8:06 "how many tanks do they have?!"
Too real German feelings
5:17 Imperial Guardsmen are the most effective in all forms of war. Especially wars of attrition versus a better equipped enemy that also has "logistics."
“A weapon to surpass Metal Gear”
-Valefisk, upon inspecting an antiquated Soviet heavy tank
"I think we should win this, we should win this...oh no we are outnumbered, retreat!"
-said no russian ever
I've got 1500 hours in this game, and this is considered a fact: the Soviet AI, in ANY difficulty can almost always win another AI of similar power in a different faction. We don't know why, it is just the most dangerous of all five factions. It has beat actual teams of players in expert.
Maybe it's the studios favorite team and gave it a buff
When you play against the AI and they are hard or expert, they automatically get higher fuel, munitions, and manpower throughout the entire game. It gives the illusion that the enemy is harder, but its just a cheap gimmick allowing them to constantly pump out more shit at a faster rate than you ever could even if you have more territory than the AI. Plus the AI can see you through the fog of war at all times so they automatically know where all your units are placed.
Im new player german is best faction?
@@gabagool5093 Yeah, that's true. Moreover, AI can multitasking all the way.
@@giovannicaserta7134 Yes. In late game if you didn't crushed first like in the video.
Not enough conscript spam 0/10
Derpy Spycrab Conscript ready to fight!
2:50
Can't Break it if you haven't read it.
(Just make sure the prisoners can't read either.)
You need to play the Red Army Choir's Stalin Album to increase soldier performance, tovarisch.
Just in time for next episode of my favorite series. However, I still don't know, if it is called prefect balance as all thing should be or rather war criminals: just burn them boiz.
*How to play Russia:* Rush to T80, which will be good until the Panzer 4s show up. Spam conscripts and AT guns. Build critical mass of T34.
Oh my god I just got this game and loved it, and I needed you too play it. Two days after I got it you upload, thank you.
Error 404
Geneva_convention.exe not found
Hundreds of people dying
Valefisk: O H N O
_You aren't a true COH2 pro until you change your name tag background to _*_anime girls!_*
9:09 Valefisk: "alright this thing just not take damage"
me: "wait for it....."
9:30 Valefisk: *makes retreat the tiger without using the reverse gear *
me: "here it comes"
9:39 *tiger dies *
me: and here we go. all that fuel already wasted.
*Valefisk chose OKW a.k.a the hardest faction to play in COH 2*
*Me: The Hardest choice require the strongiest will!!*
Hey, Valefisk, there's a thing called "Intel Bulletins" which give small yet important buffs, and there is a specific one that reduces the construction time of conscripts by 10% (as well as Grenadiers and Panzer Grenadiers but we don't care about that), and there's also a mod that increases the maximum population up to 500.
What I'm saying is that you should combine the two for maximum conscript spam.
Damn that was such an epic and hard fought last stand that Sabaton is going to make a song about it.
They use Australian prisoners? Fear not just deploy Emus
I hate the damn T34! As a panzergrenadier, walking calmly towards my next objective... ''bang'' 1 shot from T34 and everybody's kaput!
...why the fething hell is there no 40k game like this? I need my Imperial Guard simulator God-Emperor damnit!
Dawn of war
"Burn them all, the Vale-mperor will recognise his own"
No blitzkrieg mod from CoH1? *TriggggerEeeeD*
I love the commentary. My favorite lines were “Just burn them” and “Oh no!”
16 minutes of Valefisk repeatedly saying "Oh no"
"Battle of the Bulge 2018 -- in color" laughed until I was coughing!
Man, I remember when Penal Battalions had access to flamethrowers. The absolute best unit in the game.
>The germans aren't going to let me use conscripts
Game doesn't include child soldiers during 1944 and 1945, 0/10
Penal battalion = satchel charge spam. Just stockpile the prisoners at a centralized location. And then bum rush with satchel charges. Its a perfect strategy.......if the enemy doesnt piss on you with MG42s and the flamethrower... Or anything else. Its totally fine I promise.
6:30 Operation Uranus 1942 (colorized)
"...because it has a river in it."
Substitute that reason any time someone ever asks you why. I did once, and my boss almost choked 🦊
Welcome to Valefisk, your hub for War Crime tutorials and hilarious crimes against humanity compilations
Funnily enough the tiger was noted for being too powerful for early tanks and it was warned that versus real ones they'll die
New drinking game:
Take a shot everytime he says
"Just burn dem"
😂😂😂
50% "oh no", 50% "just flame them"
" What have I ever done to the russians?! " -Valefisk, famous war criminal.
Drinking game: Take a shot every time he says "Oh no."
This got me playing COH2 again.
Thanks.
Drinking game, every time he says "Oh no" you take a sip!
Master Valefisk, there are too many of them! What are we going to do? *turns flamethrower on*
Take a shot every time Valefisk says "just burn them".
Prisoners are nice....but marching 2000 pows into a bunker with two mg42s is let's say......tasty
Nice defence, I would have exited that game as soon as I was pushed to my base
“Here we go, boys. German barbecue” YES! Schnitzel!!
I'm Michael Collins, leader of the IRA
And I approve of this game
And of these war crimes)))
having played this game semi-competitively since launch, I died a little inside as I watched you let the bolsheviks dismantle my beloved Ostheer with a level of incompetence only match by uncle adolf himself... ;_;
edit: ostheer is the older name for the wehrmacht in this game ;D
My favourite part is when he says “run away tiny tank”
Australians in this video at 3:37
Tis just a normal walk for us right now
both in COH1 and 2 , the AI bricks if you resist it's base attack
Starting in character? That's commitment and I respect it
“I had now idea you could just recruit Australians as the Russians”
c’mon we all know Australia doesn’t exist
Historically, the Soviet penal groups -- at least in the 2nd Strategic Echelon -- _were_ pretty bossy. The invading Germans called them the blackshirts: and when Nazis (of all people) compliment you by calling you _THE BLACKSHIRT CORPS_, then you know you have unlocked some kind of achievement. (There were multiple such corps, too. Enough to form multiple armies had they been put together.)
"Double the game, twice the war crimes" i just start laughing after that, hahahahaha. I love your style ^w^
@11:40 Just an FYI, thats not how it works. When you lose vision on points the map will not update wether or not the point has been taken. The only point that the map will update the status of regardless of vision are VP's(The ones with stars). So even though the points appear white on the map chances are the enemy has capped them.
Vale, if you play as the US, and have a crew leave the tank, it will allow you to spawn more tanks. If you recrew the tank you had left, you can go over the population cap
"Oh no"
ahaha i never had this much laugh whicle watching coh2. Thanks a lot! Have great year!
When i did warcrimes on them i think to myself: YES YES YES!
When they did warcrimes on me i think to myself: NO NO NO!
The breakdancing german soldier at the end had some sick moves
Rivers aren't the only thing Pripyat has *cheeki breeki intensifies*
I pretty sure my first game of Company Of Heroes 2 can be explained in the voice line "SU76 IS BUILT"
No#1 most used catchphrase in this video "oh no".
Watching this guy play knowing how to play the gsme is so fucking painful, he was constantly cranking 90s with his tanks exposing their sides and rear
Should’ve titled the video “oh no and run away simulator”
fun thing with the hard and expert Ai is that if the game drags on for like 2-3 hours the just stop producing tanks
>soviet death truck
>the halftrack was lend-leased by the US.
ive had this game forever, and i am a huge fan of the first one and all its mods. This video and your humor single-handedly got me into coh2
Performing warcrimes: I just haven't read the Geneva paper
Having warcrimes performed on: There's something wrong with this game
The best way to counter a numerical advantage is vastly superior firepower.
Yeah just don’t mind fighting in Pripyat, Reactor 4 makes a great location for the base right?
The thing with stalin's purge is that they didn't have discord back then, otherwise would've been great idea
Playing this game I always thought
"All men are expendable cept for vehicles"
But watching this maybe I could have saved some resources
about 16:00 "You spin me right around baby, right 'round..."
Vale(Geneva-what?)fisk
*not one step backwards intensifies*
So much of his quotes can just be drawn back to actual quotes from unknown commanders.