Company of Heroes 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - Russian Bias Only Challenge

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  • Опубліковано 25 гру 2024

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  • @JK-uc2he
    @JK-uc2he 5 років тому +2152

    Game: *exists*
    Spiffing Brit: "Lets find some exploits and turn this thing into a economics simulator"

    • @mgunter
      @mgunter 5 років тому +13

      He'd fit in with the democrats here in America.

    • @LordAugastus
      @LordAugastus 5 років тому +13

      It is the one true way of the capitalist. Fuck everything, gimmy profit

    • @theunknown4834
      @theunknown4834 5 років тому +3

      what about world's hardest game

    • @PANZERFAUST90
      @PANZERFAUST90 4 роки тому +2

      dumb

    • @darthspock9911
      @darthspock9911 3 роки тому +2

      And thats how you sum up a youtube channel.

  • @andrewn327
    @andrewn327 5 років тому +1525

    The MG guy getting the M1910: "Let me get my gun comrade."
    The conscript group: "Your gun? It's OUR gun."
    *Proceeds to duplicate guns with the power of Stalin.*

    • @bcn1gh7h4wk
      @bcn1gh7h4wk 5 років тому +108

      This gun belongs to _the people_ , _of the Soviet_ , _Union_ !
      _enter the Soviet anthem_

    • @davidpham697
      @davidpham697 5 років тому +15

      U Require more Stalinium!!!

    • @makiskanyt9269
      @makiskanyt9269 5 років тому +13

      if this could happend then germany could have the pillar men for themselfs

    • @hinro
      @hinro 5 років тому +11

      communism at its finest.

    • @ResetmeTomu
      @ResetmeTomu 5 років тому +15

      don't have a gun? just imagine having a gun, don't have food? imagine having food, want to retreat? get shot in the foot

  • @khamankhoma8232
    @khamankhoma8232 5 років тому +2680

    Game Devs: "We're proud to announce that our game is perfectly balanced!"
    [ TEA SLURPING NOISE HEARD APPROACHING IN THE DISTANCE ]
    Game Devs: "What's that? Oh God -- No!"
    [ TEA SLURPING NOISE INTENSIFIES ]
    Game Devs: "No! Get back! NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

    • @roberternest7289
      @roberternest7289 5 років тому +56

      {Cracking noises and blood sounds}
      The janitor and me: Ah shit here we go again.
      {sweeping sound intensifies}

    • @SephirothRyu
      @SephirothRyu 5 років тому +70

      [A TANK THAT LOOKS LIKE A TEA KETTLE ON TREADS BREAKS THROUGH THE WALL OF THE GAME COMPANY]
      Game Devs: Its over! ITS ALL OVER!!!

    • @yudongli2108
      @yudongli2108 5 років тому +11

      Actually company of heroes 2 currently is not even close to balanced...

    • @kenjen9861
      @kenjen9861 5 років тому +7

      @@SephirothRyu GAME OVER, MAN!

    • @sidekic1109
      @sidekic1109 5 років тому +9

      *British National Anthem Intensifies*

  • @ZRob23523
    @ZRob23523 2 роки тому +237

    I’m fully convinced that those guys were just pointing finger guns and yelling “DRATATATATATA” at the enemy and the bullets were materializing out of thin air lol.

  • @Sraye
    @Sraye 5 років тому +279

    "Gives them abilities, some would consider to be unnatural-ly overpowered"
    Sidious: Good, good. Let the tea flow through you. I sense your Yorkshire. It gives you focus. Makes you stronger.

    • @thecakecore232
      @thecakecore232 4 роки тому +8

      As soon as he sais that I scrolled down to look for something like this lol.

    • @FelisImpurrator
      @FelisImpurrator 4 роки тому +3

      It's already at 66 likes, the perfect number.

  • @MoonFlux
    @MoonFlux 5 років тому +1094

    Spiff: What do you think will happen, A, B or C?
    Me: *All of them at once*

    • @karsten69
      @karsten69 5 років тому +49

      D - All of the above.

    • @CJ-wj2uq
      @CJ-wj2uq 5 років тому +46

      E - Colonisation

    • @llbrainjoker5742
      @llbrainjoker5742 5 років тому +14

      Because its a perfectly balanced question

    • @Jonjon13Jonjon13
      @Jonjon13Jonjon13 5 років тому +7

      I knew it was ALL of them, and he didn't even say B

    • @cream_and_butter
      @cream_and_butter 5 років тому +3

      Yeah I think it‘s D again ;)

  • @ryansanders4067
    @ryansanders4067 5 років тому +230

    Russian forces: *sees enemy forces*
    also Russian forces: *wills cannon shells into being at high velocity generally in the direction of the enemy*
    Spiff: Perfectly balanced

  • @mattevans4377
    @mattevans4377 5 років тому +449

    Spiff: *Sees Panzer IV*
    Also Spiff: Oh look, a Tiger tank
    Me: Jingles, is that you?

  • @panko2848
    @panko2848 5 років тому +1456

    "RTS Strategy game" ah yes, I do love my Real Time Strategy Strategy Games

  • @BullMcCloud
    @BullMcCloud 3 роки тому +105

    I really enjoyed the campaigns of both Company of Heroes. They did a pretty good job showing the human element while letting you throw said humans at a wall until they break through

  • @mikechurvis9995
    @mikechurvis9995 5 років тому +765

    "Whilst they're not technically that accurate, there's just a ridiculous quantity of them"
    *[HAPPY ORK NOISES]*
    *[DAKKA INTENSIFIES]*

    • @yaboyzzz9098
      @yaboyzzz9098 5 років тому +29

      He knows the way of the waaagh

    • @mikechurvis9995
      @mikechurvis9995 5 років тому +36

      @@yaboyzzz9098 let's also appreciate how these boyz basically will these machineguns into existence cuz zat's wot makes da most dakka. Gork would be proud.

    • @yaboyzzz9098
      @yaboyzzz9098 5 років тому +14

      @@mikechurvis9995 or is it mork?

    • @zacksilverstone7642
      @zacksilverstone7642 5 років тому +10

      All you need is a small green gremlin-like mobs (children) straps with explosive and then we basically has an Orks as minions.

    • @smormannen
      @smormannen 5 років тому +5

      *WAAAAAGH*

  • @bruceluiz
    @bruceluiz 5 років тому +211

    "When you have infinite machine guns, there is no reason to retreat. Just point your fingers at em and see how fast it shoots"
    Dmitri Demitrovisk of Demitria, Officer in Charge 20 seconds ago

    • @meilinchan7314
      @meilinchan7314 4 роки тому +4

      "When you have infinite machine guns, there is no reason to retreat. Just point your fingers at em and see how fast it shoots"
      Just like Cuphead......

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 5 років тому +339

    Hitler: "So let me get this straight. A bunch of Russians, who our soldiers confirmed were holding no weapons, managed to gun down our entire army, and destroy our tanks?"
    German commander: "... Yes."
    Hitler: "That's it, you're getting executed."

    • @pumpkinboi9441
      @pumpkinboi9441 4 роки тому +1

      LOL

    • @dertazamane8765
      @dertazamane8765 4 роки тому +30

      Hitler: "Also damit ich das richtig verstehe, ein Haufen Russen, welche laut unseren Soldaten keinerlei Waffen trugen, haben es geschafft unsere gesamte Armee und Panzer zu vernichten?"
      Deutscher Kommandant: "... Ja."
      Hitler: "Das war's, sie werden exekutiert!"
      *I just couldn't hold myself back translating this, you're welcome xD*

    • @firockfinion3326
      @firockfinion3326 4 роки тому +2

      @@dertazamane8765 Hah, nice.

  • @mikehunt3436
    @mikehunt3436 4 роки тому +51

    Seems there was a Soviet soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
    "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."
    "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens.Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit.The German keeps coming."Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!"It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says..."Tankety Tank Tank."

  • @Szpareq
    @Szpareq 4 роки тому +1126

    "When you were told that only half of the Russians have a rifle, but then you find out it's because the second half has heavy machine guns"
    sad German noises

    • @oreos3174
      @oreos3174 4 роки тому +7

      Marek Stefański nah, it’s more effective to pick up the gun of the guy that died in front of you

    • @xXCREEKSTARXx
      @xXCREEKSTARXx 4 роки тому +6

      Good one :D

    • @oreos3174
      @oreos3174 3 роки тому +1

      @Lukas Engel is joke, and know I did not. Thank you tankie

    • @Kenfren
      @Kenfren 3 роки тому +6

      @Lukas Engel a tankie is someone who thinks the USSR did nothing wrong and was perfect

    • @Kenfren
      @Kenfren 3 роки тому +2

      @Lukas Engel generally tankies will use real facts to make the soviet union look good, mischaractetising them

  • @wherethetatosat
    @wherethetatosat 5 років тому +482

    "They've got bear hands."
    Soviet power is truly frightening.

  • @Jrider-kv1oo
    @Jrider-kv1oo 5 років тому +178

    Game: doesn’t have tea
    The spiffing Brit: ANGER

    • @tomb7642
      @tomb7642 5 років тому +3

      What?! No tea?! 1 out of 10.

  • @EaizePeazy
    @EaizePeazy 5 років тому +144

    "They have a nuke, But its OK, we have machine guns." Spiff, probably.

    • @sand0decker
      @sand0decker 5 років тому +1

      The leader of China during in the 50s felt like developing nukes and an anti-nuke system was pointless because his infantry would protect him

  • @kraanz
    @kraanz 5 років тому +310

    1:38 "If you've never played this game, go grab a coffee."
    E... excuse me, WHAT?
    Oh. He said "copy," not coffee. Phew.

    • @tommybomby4122
      @tommybomby4122 4 роки тому +8

      kraanz lol it’d be funny if he said go grab a coffee

    • @Ismaelz
      @Ismaelz 4 роки тому

      I heard that too

    • @meilinchan7314
      @meilinchan7314 4 роки тому +5

      Funnily enough, the Germans drink coffee.
      But everyone knows that the Russians prefer tea......
      Uh-oh.

    • @StrokeMahEgo
      @StrokeMahEgo 4 роки тому +7

      @@meilinchan7314 Russians prefer vodka

    • @meilinchan7314
      @meilinchan7314 4 роки тому +1

      @@StrokeMahEgo : True, but tea is still every bit as popular after vodka in Russia!

  • @ilnsert
    @ilnsert 2 роки тому +25

    Takes the saying
    “The Mind is the greatest weapon.”
    To a whole new level.

  • @arghanothername
    @arghanothername 5 років тому +118

    This is what I like to call “Maxim-izing” your chance of winning

    • @Chino56751
      @Chino56751 5 років тому

      No matter what, we have got
      The Maxim gun and they have not. XD

    • @thecakecore232
      @thecakecore232 4 роки тому +1

      Or perhaps Marx-imizing

  • @ProfessionalRtard
    @ProfessionalRtard 5 років тому +284

    "Mistakes happen, and we have to learn to live with them"
    - Walther von Brauchitsch, explaining to Hitler the failure of the Russian Campaign and the 20 million Red Army soldiers moving towards Berlin

    • @Sneaky1ne
      @Sneaky1ne 5 років тому +15

      @alvi syahri "Gentleman there's a solution you aren't seeing here"
      - also Hitler

    • @AsbestosMuffins
      @AsbestosMuffins 5 років тому +5

      "Mistakes were made."

    • @shupichii9647
      @shupichii9647 5 років тому +3

      *Goes to listen to Sabaton*

    • @lad7436
      @lad7436 5 років тому +3

      @@carchaos4153 Hitler wasn't a drug addict...
      Was he...?

    • @jebeb6663
      @jebeb6663 5 років тому +6

      @@lad7436 He was on a BUNCH of drugs. His whole army was on crack too, not even joking. they gave the soldiers crack to be faster

  • @demicus
    @demicus 5 років тому +97

    Me as the OKW: "Hey, that's a lot of veteran infantry you have over there..."
    Friend as USA: "Huh, what do you mean?"
    *380MM STRUMTIGER INTENSIFIES*

    • @blegh277
      @blegh277 5 років тому +1

      sturmorsertiger

    • @gecko2.617
      @gecko2.617 4 роки тому +1

      *TIGER II intensifies*

  • @dionrussell9681
    @dionrussell9681 3 роки тому +67

    In Company of Heroes 1 you could shred infantry with the Sherman mine sweeper but you had to order your Sherman to approach the infantry with its spin to win flail and not target them.

    • @ChaoticNeutralMatt
      @ChaoticNeutralMatt 2 роки тому +7

      Awful and completely and utterly ridiculous/hilarious

  • @manologamerss5801
    @manologamerss5801 3 роки тому +272

    Ah yes, classic Russian strategy, just PRETEND you have weapons.

    • @boromirhimself7528
      @boromirhimself7528 3 роки тому +6

      Yee

    • @EzekiesAcheron
      @EzekiesAcheron 3 роки тому +8

      The Emperor of Man would approve of this strategy.

    • @aymslt8743
      @aymslt8743 2 роки тому +11

      Very true at their war on Ukraine

    • @tuxie93
      @tuxie93 2 роки тому +6

      This comment aged well.

    • @bobfruit7400
      @bobfruit7400 2 роки тому +4

      oof imagine getting it so very wrong a year onwards ;D

  • @charmzie
    @charmzie 5 років тому +103

    Take a sip of tea whenever Spiff says “machine gun”

    • @supernova582
      @supernova582 5 років тому +5

      I whould have to make 50 pots of tea to have enough sips

    • @adenkyramud5005
      @adenkyramud5005 5 років тому +8

      @AlekzHertz drink 3 more cups. Yorkshire gold. You'll instantly grow a new healthy kidney

    • @thenightjackal
      @thenightjackal 5 років тому

      @AlekzHertz First step to becoming a good Demoman, now you got to lose your eye!

  • @FNL-202
    @FNL-202 5 років тому +90

    Spiff: Ask a multible answer question
    Me: Yes

  • @sneeringimperialist340
    @sneeringimperialist340 5 років тому +124

    Pretty sure this is an accurate depiction of soviet manufacturing.
    **Pulls mountain of weaponry out of thin air**

    • @lordlopikong6940
      @lordlopikong6940 4 роки тому +13

      This ain't a glitch it's historically accurate.

    • @A122345z
      @A122345z 3 роки тому +2

      Dakka Dakka

  • @fiendish9474
    @fiendish9474 2 роки тому +31

    I see you're using the WH40K Orks strat of bending reality through the power of imagining you have guns

  • @InkyDustMan
    @InkyDustMan 5 років тому +40

    ...actually, I can't get the image of unarmed Russian troops spitting anti-tank ammo and machine gun ammo like living guns, it's amusing, but also slightly horrifying.

  • @Arturius_Rex_8
    @Arturius_Rex_8 5 років тому +65

    "Yorkshire Tea is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be...unnatural."
    -Spiff January 2020

    • @epyonpl
      @epyonpl 5 років тому +1

      Loved that one :D

    • @gandalflegris3549
      @gandalflegris3549 5 років тому +1

      Do you know the tragedy of darth Teagueis the wise? Not a story a coffee drinker would tell you

  • @danieldionne2037
    @danieldionne2037 5 років тому +85

    I feel like developers are soon going to have “Spiffing Brit” meetings to check their game for exploits.

  • @darlingtomato11
    @darlingtomato11 5 років тому +26

    "War crime simulator" as if you play anything else. In games with no war you still make war crimes happen, you beautiful bastard.

  • @OzyWazza
    @OzyWazza 4 роки тому +39

    "Soon we shall have FLAMETHROWERS!"
    That sentence comes with the most maliciously gleeful voice I've ever heard...

    • @komradevlad7131
      @komradevlad7131 4 роки тому +5

      Scorched-Earth at its finest comrades

    • @mikkel066h
      @mikkel066h 4 роки тому +7

      TIGER IS UNDER INFANTRY ATTACK..... WHY AM I SHOUTING THIS!?

    • @AViewCado69420
      @AViewCado69420 4 роки тому +3

      @@mikkel066h taking fire from the cute little panzer fuckng adorable, now kill it!

    • @ChaoticNeutralMatt
      @ChaoticNeutralMatt 4 роки тому +1

      There's always Umbrage.

  • @MuradBeybalaev
    @MuradBeybalaev 5 років тому +267

    Does this work:
    - With mortars?
    - Without USSR?
    - Online?

    • @ukasz1900
      @ukasz1900 4 роки тому +61

      Nope, sorry bruh but it only works with soviet abilities accesable only via playing campain

    • @benedictodunsky2790
      @benedictodunsky2790 4 роки тому +19

      Nope
      But if you likes raining bullets and do absolute cheating
      There's a cheat mod to against the AI in the skirmish
      Oh and btw it's a mod from the player that you can found ingame

    • @explosion1704
      @explosion1704 4 роки тому +6

      HOW DARE YOU THINK ABOUT THAT IDEA

    • @christianschultz9715
      @christianschultz9715 4 роки тому +19

      yes it works with mortars and its beautiful

    • @Korayaksoy
      @Korayaksoy 4 роки тому

      Ofc not

  • @alexanderdubstepcek5479
    @alexanderdubstepcek5479 5 років тому +48

    "what's better than a 100 stat man? hundreds of 100 stat men." -Spiff showing stalin how to stalingrad, 1943 (colourised)

  • @nureineflagge8201
    @nureineflagge8201 5 років тому +135

    Imagine seeing a Panzer 4 F2 and saying its a Tiger
    This post was made by the Wehrmacht

    • @MChannel80
      @MChannel80 5 років тому +6

      Wehrmacht gang*

    • @hansshamre8535
      @hansshamre8535 5 років тому +9

      well a lot (and i mean a lot) of americans though panzer 4's was tigers during 1944 (and i guess 45). the american soldiers apparently encounterd tigers on a regular basis relativly early after the d-day landings, even though the tigers was fighting the british on an entierly different part of the front.

    • @bolikde9389
      @bolikde9389 5 років тому +3

      Wehrmacht denn sowas.

    • @Siamzero1994
      @Siamzero1994 5 років тому

      Hätte eh kein unterschied gemacht

    • @Hoot_hoot777
      @Hoot_hoot777 5 років тому

      I'm glad I wasn't the only one that winced at that.
      Love you spiffing Brit. :) Really enjoy your vids.

  • @mrwolf891
    @mrwolf891 5 років тому +49

    Any RTS game: exists
    Spiff: how much of Britian can we make it.
    Any RTS game: has tea
    *happy spiff tea sipping*

  • @gabeland4773
    @gabeland4773 2 роки тому +11

    Drinking game: Take a shot every time Spif says "Machine Gun"

  • @javierlavanchy5316
    @javierlavanchy5316 4 роки тому +17

    As a Coh2 vet, this is giving me a heavy Maxim spam PTSD.

  • @johnnyman117
    @johnnyman117 5 років тому +51

    I’ve got my tea ready for this perfectly balanced game.

  • @sirreal3006
    @sirreal3006 5 років тому +78

    New drinking game: Take a sip of gin every time Spiff says "luckily".

    • @picesnl61
      @picesnl61 5 років тому +7

      Sorry but I'd like to live to see the next video

    • @DrNyow
      @DrNyow 5 років тому +2

      If you hate yourself you can add the words "perfect" and "glorious"

    • @AYangl82l
      @AYangl82l 5 років тому +1

      Or fantastic

    • @souradio
      @souradio 5 років тому

      Or machine gun

    • @matthewwilson4972
      @matthewwilson4972 5 років тому

      Ryan Childs it would end up pure gin

  • @Znijik
    @Znijik 5 років тому +10

    TSB: (shows up in the middle of the video on every video prior to this one)
    Me: Surely he wouldn't do it again.
    TSB: BAM! I've jumped into the mid-point of the video, when you were least expecting me!
    Me: (becomes very startled) He's too good...

  • @mrman5808
    @mrman5808 4 роки тому +12

    Spiff is the living stereotype of a posh brit, and we love it

  • @SteveAkaDarktimes
    @SteveAkaDarktimes 4 роки тому +37

    "modern RTS releases"
    excuse me, could you point me to them, I seem to have missed them entirely.

  • @TuffMelon
    @TuffMelon 5 років тому +58

    "Don't worry, we have machine guns"
    0:00 - 22:02
    This strategy is the equivalent of when an army went and attached a bunch of MGs together to shoot down planes.

    • @legendaryoutcast4440
      @legendaryoutcast4440 5 років тому

      haven't heard of this, I have heard of successfully using AAA Anti-Air artillery in mass to take out tanks and artillery

    • @Blue-mr7fe
      @Blue-mr7fe 5 років тому +2

      It's a Russian thing as well they attached MGs and put it on a rotating table then put that on a milk cart there we go AA vehicle

    • @frenchsoldier8485
      @frenchsoldier8485 5 років тому

      @@Blue-mr7fe milk truck* and hey, can't deny that it worked

    • @TuffMelon
      @TuffMelon 5 років тому

      @@Blue-mr7fe Especially since they were MG42's i think, which have an absolutely bonkers RPM. It was like using 4 of them to make a minigun.

  • @AsbestosMuffins
    @AsbestosMuffins 5 років тому +82

    "Not one step back!"
    "But sir the enemy position is encircled, we need to turn around and crush them."
    "NOT ONE STEP BACK!"

    • @felixh2786
      @felixh2786 5 років тому +20

      Just march forward in the opposite direction, lol.

    • @tommybomby4122
      @tommybomby4122 4 роки тому +8

      Ah, I’ve just realized another flaw in the “not one step back” tactic

    • @exocakes4587
      @exocakes4587 4 роки тому

      Then step side ways. Might work

  • @davidmullally4792
    @davidmullally4792 5 років тому +34

    Spiff: A, B, or C?
    Me: YES.

  • @randomicelander5307
    @randomicelander5307 3 роки тому +1

    I had forgotten about this game fore years and now i find out you made a video about it a year ago.honestly just thank you.(despite the fact you will probebly not see this it will be one more fore the algorithm i guess)

  • @thedungeoneer101
    @thedungeoneer101 2 роки тому +9

    "use a overpowered unit and break the game."
    **Laughs in shock troop**

  • @the_seeker.entity9206
    @the_seeker.entity9206 5 років тому +23

    I PLAY THIS WITH MY FRIENDS ALL THE TIME , THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A NASTY SURPRISE! THANKS SPIFF!!!

    • @steveradroach9101
      @steveradroach9101 5 років тому +1

      Get ready to loose your friends then XD

    • @mateuszstepien865
      @mateuszstepien865 5 років тому +15

      Imagine the dissapointment when he realises that he cant do it in mp

    • @the_seeker.entity9206
      @the_seeker.entity9206 4 роки тому

      mateusz Stępień lol I realized it like 5 minutes into the video but I’m just going to leave the comment😅

    • @the_seeker.entity9206
      @the_seeker.entity9206 4 роки тому

      Steve Radroach lol yeah I was pranked but I lose anyway so it doesn’t really mstter😂

  • @barsmehmetbalc6339
    @barsmehmetbalc6339 5 років тому +40

    I thought he said "go grab a cup of coffe" while actually he was saying copy. I almost spit my precious tea on screen.

    • @user-hv6gi9ux6z
      @user-hv6gi9ux6z 5 років тому +4

      @@thespiffingbrit if you did that...I would of had to report you to the queen for your utter hersey

    • @alqualonde2998
      @alqualonde2998 5 років тому

      Heard the same thing. I was surprised as well.

    • @Gouneas
      @Gouneas 5 років тому

      He would never promote bean broth

  • @feddyvonwigglestein3481
    @feddyvonwigglestein3481 5 років тому +25

    If this glitch could be duplicated in real life:
    Stalin: I say this: *NOT ONE STEP BA-*
    Comrade Assistant: Comrade Chairman, we have recaptured Stalingrad from the fascisti.
    Stalin: ....

  • @Bli757
    @Bli757 4 роки тому +2

    The crazy commercial tea breaks in the middle of these videos make it feel like I'm watching an RTS Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and I LOVE it! 🤣

  • @CurryFeatures
    @CurryFeatures 5 років тому +32

    Drinking game:
    1 shot everytime he says "Machine guns"
    2 shots everytime he says "anti-tank guns"

    • @bastion8804
      @bastion8804 4 роки тому +9

      Instructions are unclear. Shot my child. The hospitals won't admit him because of the lack of bed.

    • @justkoz2907
      @justkoz2907 4 роки тому +6

      Can I take shots of tea?

  • @GumshoeClassic
    @GumshoeClassic 5 років тому +20

    "This piece of Wonderful War Crime Simulator"
    "A lovely game"
    "Great fun"
    Me: *Cries in Dawn of War 3*

  • @geofff.3343
    @geofff.3343 5 років тому +40

    D: All of the Above
    E: Tea
    F: Colonization

  • @LudosErgoSum
    @LudosErgoSum 5 років тому +69

    Joseph Stalin: “Quantity has a quality all its own.”
    The Spiffing Brit:

    • @Vox_Popul1
      @Vox_Popul1 5 років тому

      LudosErgoSum pretty sure he never said that

    • @pnduarte4696
      @pnduarte4696 5 років тому +6

      @@Vox_Popul1 it was Napoleon.

    • @Vox_Popul1
      @Vox_Popul1 5 років тому

      PN duarte really?

    • @pnduarte4696
      @pnduarte4696 5 років тому +5

      @@Vox_Popul1 yes.

    • @samuelskinner7704
      @samuelskinner7704 5 років тому

      Wasn't he talking about Katuskas (since their aim is garbage, but they shoot lots of rockets).

  • @InkyDustMan
    @InkyDustMan 5 років тому +9

    "What will Spiff do?"
    I pick option D for all of the above, because of course it's all of the above.

  • @Ivy01038
    @Ivy01038 4 роки тому +2

    Yay! This is so fun, thanks for showing us this exploit. Keep up the great work.

  • @MoonFlux
    @MoonFlux 5 років тому +27

    Spiff: Oh look, a game exists... I am sure it is balanced.
    *Soviet music in the background while sipping tea.*

  • @megalord2331
    @megalord2331 5 років тому +23

    "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the outcome."
    > Looks at the title.
    Yeah, I don't think I will, but I'll be sipping on some ***coffee*** while waiting.

  • @Oblivius33
    @Oblivius33 5 років тому +30

    "Moden RTS releases"
    Nice meme.

  • @drewk7557
    @drewk7557 4 роки тому +57

    "HMG Gun" = Heavy Machine Gun Gun

    • @shgds
      @shgds 4 роки тому +1

      Double barreled machine gun??

    • @Dman6779
      @Dman6779 4 роки тому +1

      @@shgds no it shoots heavy machine guns

  • @steffenbk1
    @steffenbk1 5 років тому +1

    Fun fact about coh2, is that when the game gets patched the campaign gets untouched. Meaning most of the bugs from 2013 are in the campaign but not in MP

  • @shrek4949
    @shrek4949 5 років тому +23

    Well people don’t play campaign because it has never been updated, so all bugs have never been patched, which means that , mechanics that have been removed or added later for multiplayer balance are not in the campaign and for some reason tank combat is kinda broken, but you can always play the American campaign or theater of war (still buggy af but can be pretty challenging on the hardest difficulty).
    Also spifing, we need you to make playing brits great again.

    • @JohnD201
      @JohnD201 5 років тому

      Not even he is powerful enough to make UKF not trash in multiplayer

    • @miniaturesandstuff5209
      @miniaturesandstuff5209 4 роки тому

      The STUG E is totally useless in theatre of war besides being a meatshield. And light tanks can barely kill infantry until they're vet 3; unlike in multiplayer and the list goes on....

  • @misterwho9503
    @misterwho9503 5 років тому +44

    Take a shot of водка every time Spiff says “Machine Guns”

    • @ls200076
      @ls200076 5 років тому

      vodka

    • @Tetinha1
      @Tetinha1 5 років тому

      *dies in **1:36*

    • @jmurray1110
      @jmurray1110 5 років тому

      I think you mean to say Yorkshire tea we are not hevens here

  • @PeterRAmice
    @PeterRAmice 5 років тому +4

    Spiff I have to thank you. A few months ago I was on the edge of ending my life, but than it happend. I found your youtube channel, this moment changed everything for me. After this moment I knew I could better myself, I threw away all of my coffee and bought all the tea I could get. Thank you tessias.

  • @rovan8348
    @rovan8348 Рік тому +1

    Listening to this as I fall asleep and just jumped up in shock at 1:36 thinking Spiff said to go grab a coffee, its great 😱 thankfully he just said to grab a copy (of the game)

  • @FEARSWTOR
    @FEARSWTOR 4 роки тому +5

    I feel like there's a drinking game here revolving around every time Spiff says "Machine Guns"

  • @jaeusa160
    @jaeusa160 5 років тому +5

    @3:45 "Yorkshire Tea is a path to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. Also, have you heard the tale of Darth Spiffus the Balanced?"

  • @KyleLi
    @KyleLi 5 років тому +30

    No one:
    19:33 Spiff: *points at panzer iv*
    "a tiger tank of some kind"

  • @peterbakic4493
    @peterbakic4493 5 років тому +130

    War crime simulator, no other game like it... ahem “Rimworld” ahem.

    • @deyonvandraanen7492
      @deyonvandraanen7492 5 років тому +1

      I thought of the same thing

    • @mitsvanmitsvanio6106
      @mitsvanmitsvanio6106 5 років тому +28

      Rimworld is not a WAR crime simulator, it is crimes against humanity simulator.

    • @kinamiya1
      @kinamiya1 5 років тому +5

      its not warcrimes when you are not in war :)

    • @ZiggySol
      @ZiggySol 5 років тому +10

      What i do to the tribals isn't war crimes, it's pest control

    • @jyidorne8042
      @jyidorne8042 5 років тому +5

      Well, technically it can't be a war crime if there's no war... or laws... or a government.

  • @jabloko992
    @jabloko992 5 років тому +109

    'It's graphics are not on par with some of the modern RTS releases...'
    Such as?

    • @thecakecore232
      @thecakecore232 4 роки тому +73

      RAID Shadow Legends, it has _amazing_ innovative graphics!

    • @jabloko992
      @jabloko992 4 роки тому +56

      @@thecakecore232 AND DEEP TACTICAL GAMEPLAY

    • @xxnoregretzxxzzz4389
      @xxnoregretzxxzzz4389 4 роки тому +6

      jabloko992 prolly like ashes of singularity

    • @MrCaptainTea
      @MrCaptainTea 4 роки тому +2

      jabloko992 Civ 7

    • @raulm717
      @raulm717 4 роки тому +14

      Warcraft reforged?

  • @davidbronke5484
    @davidbronke5484 3 роки тому +1

    I've played quite a bit Company of Heroes 2,and I still have it installed. My favorite is playing it co-op with friends vs. the computer.
    Also if D - All of the above isn't an option, I'd go for A.

  • @movingparts6270
    @movingparts6270 5 років тому +8

    In CoH1 there was a legitimate way to this playing as the Panzer Elite Anti-Tank General. You spam out the anti-tank infantry with the double rocket launcher upgrade and support it with equal MP44 squad spam. The enemy healthy bars won't be able to keep up with the number of rocket being fired at them. Even better, once you get the squads to level 3, they get the ability to dodge bullets.

    • @pagatryx5451
      @pagatryx5451 5 років тому

      Wouldn't that still lose to US ranger spam, machine guns and other allied inf? Stg's would be better for the range imo. And it wouldn't work against a good player unfortunately. That playstyle's very costly, weak to arty or anti-blob abilities and would lose map control since you would need to maneuver the blob to one place at a time... Sorry, love COH, my favorite comp RTS.

    • @sgtjericho7884
      @sgtjericho7884 5 років тому +1

      @@pagatryx5451 You didn't need map control after you got your units level 3... lol.. You walk into their base..
      Although artillery sucked. Funnily enough, they dodged bullets so aircraft or pretty much any other anti-blob didn't work on them

    • @movingparts6270
      @movingparts6270 5 років тому

      @@pagatryx5451 the only effective counter I ever experienced playing against people online was from the British artillery general. On-map artillery does a ton of damage if you aren't on top of your micro. The other anti inf stuff would slow me down for a second but either a rocket would kill the MG or I'd get another squad to flank. MP44 inf got aim bonuses while moving too if I remember right.

    • @AsyrafD
      @AsyrafD 5 років тому

      Ohh i remember those good old days. Eff everything in the commander skill tree, all you need is the double panzershreck. Panzershreck being more effective against infantry in CoH1 also didnt help with the balance either

  • @benjaminsousa7657
    @benjaminsousa7657 5 років тому +44

    "I sacrificed my squad of glorious engineers, because I needed to prove a point, basically"
    WW2 Russia in a nutshell

  • @bakagg757
    @bakagg757 5 років тому +19

    *A panzer 4 rolls in*
    "Omg they've got a Tiger tank"

  • @mysticdragonwolf89
    @mysticdragonwolf89 2 роки тому +4

    Me: Light Machine Gun glitch, big deal
    *spiffing Brit proceeds to arm his soldiers with artillery rifles*
    Me…..ok…that’s impressive

  • @mr.jancok4413
    @mr.jancok4413 4 роки тому +8

    everyone is a gangstars until
    Ivan shoting HMG and AT gun from his bare hands

  • @XMysticHerox
    @XMysticHerox 5 років тому +142

    The way the game depicts order 227 especially in the first mission is completely bs by the way.

    • @carpetclimber4027
      @carpetclimber4027 5 років тому +17

      What's ironic is Hitler issued the same order. They were both irrational lunatics.

    • @МихаилЧерников-п2т
      @МихаилЧерников-п2т 5 років тому +15

      @@carpetclimber4027 except soviet order was perfectly rational

    • @roborovskihamster5425
      @roborovskihamster5425 5 років тому +44

      Yeah, order 227 was specifically directed at officers not the average foot soldier. It certainly never called for the execution of any soldier that retreated.

    • @carpetclimber4027
      @carpetclimber4027 5 років тому +2

      In this case, yes. It was rational.

    • @legendaryoutcast4440
      @legendaryoutcast4440 5 років тому +2

      RETURN TO FORMASHHION!

  • @TacticalDreadnought
    @TacticalDreadnought 5 років тому +6

    Historians: "That's actually how the Battle of Stalingrad went down.
    The Spiffing Brit is right and and you should drink tea and buy his merch.
    You can trust me, since I am an historian."

  • @sailtf
    @sailtf 5 років тому +7

    0:00 - 22:03
    "Machine guns"

  • @HewieSux
    @HewieSux 4 роки тому +7

    11:24 this mug is perfect for my daily coffee ♡

  • @taz6333
    @taz6333 4 роки тому

    1000 hours, i have clocked onto this game and here i am... absolutely stunned about this. I drink to much coffee it seems.

  • @asbestosfish_
    @asbestosfish_ 5 років тому +16

    *Oh, mother Ru~ssia! The Red Army stands!*

  • @nazamroth8427
    @nazamroth8427 5 років тому +5

    Spiff, those are basically Orks. They believe they are holding MGs and ATs, therefore they are.

  • @jackhughes1741
    @jackhughes1741 5 років тому +18

    Some Soviet General: Oh my God! Stalingrad is lost!
    Spiffy: Modern problems require modern solutions.

    • @jasonpratt5126
      @jasonpratt5126 4 роки тому +1

      Stalin: "Death solves all problems. No man, no problem!" *spams PPsh*

  • @ryeufatovic7839
    @ryeufatovic7839 3 роки тому

    me loves this game and has been playing it since 2015 with about only 450 hours in 2 and 600 in 1 you makes a video on it me YESSSSS!!!!! FINALLY

    • @ryeufatovic7839
      @ryeufatovic7839 3 роки тому

      also i have a background for the British army with the queen on it saying "bow down colonials your queen has arrived and it is a true 10/10 background

  • @spynyi
    @spynyi 4 роки тому

    Yorkshire tea: *Exist*
    Spiff: yes

  • @BigPapaKaiser
    @BigPapaKaiser 5 років тому +12

    "... Not that there will be much of a town left after we finish democracizing it."
    *America: Giggles in oil*

  • @noahstarke8519
    @noahstarke8519 5 років тому +13

    spiff: " Yorkshire tea gives them abilities some would deem unnatural"
    Ummm spiff = emperor palpatine confirmed?

  • @Taldorin
    @Taldorin 5 років тому +24

    "I've jumped into the mid point where you least expect me!"
    Thats the ONLY time you jump in nobody was surprised

    • @notar2123
      @notar2123 4 роки тому +1

      I think he made a video, in the meantime, in which he jumps into the beggining of the video.

  • @customerservice1565
    @customerservice1565 5 років тому +2

    Wakes up
    makes Yorkshire tea
    takes sip
    Aaah
    What a beautiful morning for war crimes

  • @ASB117
    @ASB117 3 роки тому +1

    D) All of the above. In true military multi-choice fashion.

  • @TimelessThreads1
    @TimelessThreads1 5 років тому +5

    Last time I was this early, the kettle wasn’t ready

  • @aconcernedcommissar6261
    @aconcernedcommissar6261 5 років тому +6

    "We should all have sturmgewehrs! You get a sturmgewehr, you get a sturmgewehr, EVERYONE GETS STURMGEWEHRS!"

    • @TheArklyte
      @TheArklyte 5 років тому +1

      It's far worse actually. They're firing full sized rifle ammo so it's like M60, BUT the game also counts the gunshield. Yes, that metal plate that covers the shooter. So basically you attack germans with Vietnam War americans.

  • @thecigardad2826
    @thecigardad2826 5 років тому +4

    War Crime Simulator, AKA what Spiff turns every single game in to.

  • @BighairyAmericanwinningmachine
    @BighairyAmericanwinningmachine 4 роки тому +13

    fun game: take a nice long sip of tea each time spiff says “machine gun,” or “anti-tank”