So good of you to keep making this videos Angela, it's so valuable for all different reasons. Your videos brought me to the group and seeing you get better is extremely helpful. Keep up the good work, you are an example of how incredible strong people can be. I'm positive you will get there and do a lot of good in this world ❤
I am so happy to hear you're feeling better - 75-85%! You're an inspiration. Been watching your videos from your first. Totally understand your intrusive thoughts.
Just at 17 months now. My anxiety has went down a little which is a blessing. I can now go grocery shopping. I still have mega insomnia. I hope my sleep comes back. Alot of nerve pain in my back and neck. Vision sucks too. I feel like I'm stuck tho. If the insomnia would let up things would be better. Its like i lost the ability to sleep no matter how tired i am.
I'm at the 15th mth ct, you give me hope that I will also walk to the store again❣️ I also still have stiff neck + shoulder nerve pain, I'm sure it will go away in time. God bless. 🙏🌈👍
I have been binge-watching your videos. I, too, was on Ativan. It took me 2 1/2 years to taper off of 2 mgs but not without issues. My main problem is my body twitching and jerking and I feel unsteady on my feet, having to resort to using a walker. I know you have come a long way. I highly respect you and all you have done for our community.
Listening to you speak your truth touches my heart. More is being revealed to me. When you said “cocktail” of meds it really sunk in....my doc had me on 30 different pills everyday. I had long disappeared behind the drugs.. it has been almost four years since my last pill and I feel like Iam continuing to “wake” . Iam in recovery also and immersed myself in the program. I too see the connection and realize food is medicine. Keep spreading your message of hope.🙏🏻🌞🌈
I love you Angela. You are so strong. I love your mentality. You always keep it real yet compassionate. Wishing you the best on the rest of your healing. Right around the corner 🙌🙌🙌
Thank you for sharing your story. My mom is starting to withdraw from Ativan after 20 years of use. She has terrible parkinsonism. Diet has helped so much. She asks for green smoothies now. Her doctor isn't aware that it is safer to taper, he just casually says you can stop anytime. The withdrawals are awful. I am so glad that you pushed through and are nourishing your cells. Dominic D'Agostino PhD is an expert in cellular metabolism if you ever want to kick your knowledge up even further. He is all over UA-cam. Congratulations on graduating college! Happy healing. 😃
Thanks for sharing. I'm at 15mths ct off klonipin, was on about 20yrs. I'm doing better, when I look back, to when I began, I have come a long long way in the healing process. Thanks for the inspiration ❣️ 🙏🌈👍
Yeah the bad thing is we are taking these benzos for a reason. Then in stopping, even after a long time you can still wind up agoraphobia then how can you even get stuff done??
I feel for you. Truly. My CT in 2012 was forced. I didn't know what a benzo was. Psychotic wds are real. Windows do improve with each taper for me. Do not reinstate & updose. I did. Am still leary to make an update vid. Kaleidoscopic vision sucks. Light stays on the retinas even with eyes closed. You'll get you back!
Ang Peabody so glad to see your improving! I was on 2 mg of Klonopin for 12 years and did a 3 month taper. I have been off Klonopin now for 468 days (in my 16th month) and I am slowly improving. I still have extreme constipation that I take Linzess for. I still have head pressure, woozy feeling in my head, and tightness in my jaw. I started to notice another level of improvement 3 weeks ago, but kind of back in a waive today. Most grueling thing I have ever been through. I really enjoyed your video. Please make some more when you can. Ken
Ang Peabody I have tried all sorts of diets and nothing helped. I had a colonoscopy bad they found nothing wrong. I think the extreme exhaustion I feel daily is impacting it. I am hoping another 2-3 months I see more improvement. Klonopin is one evil drug!
I agree.. However, diet changes need to be LONG TERM. Not something you try for a few weeks. We are so used to quick fixes. Repairing the gut is a huge part of healing from this and I worry that medicine will block your ability to heal your gut.
It's kind of a catch 22. if I don't take it then I am extremely miserable and can't function at all. I still have extreme tightness in my jaw and in my colon so as long as that exists nothing is moving through the colon.
you have come along way from the homeless TV piece that i saw you in. Thanks for this video, i was hoping you were doing well. Wow, Miss traveler, you have been doing things some of us just dream about. The Vet cause is doing you good, like you saw pushing yourself. I wish you continued success. keep us posted.
It's so good to get an update from you! You are an inspiration. Incredibly strong. Coming off benzos is complete hell. I'm a year off and in a bad wave but watching this video has given me some hope and a lot of your challenges- I have them too. I don't have a support system either (btw my dog jumped up when she heard your dog! Lol) thank goodness for those precious furbabies. If you feel like traveling come see me in South Carolina! Haha. Your video seriously could have been two hours long and I would've listened to it. Keep us updated. Thanks for everything and BIG CONGRATULATIONS on your degree!
You are an inspiration to me! I was on between .5 and 6mg of ativan for over 20 years. I am doing a liquid micro taper now. I am also a type 1 diabetic. Diet is huge. Once I eliminated the gluten from my diet, the "benzo belly" lessened dramatically as well as my coated tongue. Yes, stop labeling the symptoms! And YES to ACCEPT & DISTRACT! Amen to that no matter how hard they are, what choice to we have?! The depression is the worst part for me. I believe, like you, that we need to force ourselves to do certain things and that healing seems linear at times. I can't be in groups too much as you talk about, there is so much talk about symptoms that in our fragile state, they can become our own. Keep up the good job and a big congrats on your plane flight and you graduation!!!!! HI to Joe!
Oh, the VA did this to you too! Isn't it nice to be cared for like this after you serve your country. Atleast i'm not the only one. So sorry that you are going through this. I'm still in it, but i am happy you are doingg better, it certainly gives me hope! Have you looked into neuroplasticity; fight/flight/freeze response loop; rewiring amygdala? I am learning about it now. It reminds me of what you are saying about looking at ptsd in a different light. When i learn about how i became ill and how my brain and body work, it makes me feel like i can learn how to fix this; learn other ways to cope that do not involve drugs. It makes me feel as though this is not going to be a life ling thing; that i will actually heal. Hi Joe! I don't have much support, but i do have my bf and my kitties. My reward when i get better is to get a dog. I am looking into an emotional support dog. I was thinking of going back to school. I didn't think i could handle it but maybe i can? I want to help other veterans because so many are going through this alone, not even knowing what is causing it. I am in Florida. Is there anything i can do here to help? Is there a chapter of that organization here? I read all of what you mentioned. I do believe exactly what you are saying; there is no magic anything; and it will take time but we will all heal. Thank you so much! Prayers for your full recovery! 💖
Ang Peabody The worst for me is the depersonalization and insomnia at this point. I think going through this has given me sleep anxiety. No matter what I take I can't seem to initiate sleep. But i tried staying at a friend's house and I was able to sleep there so I'm thinking I just have a negative attachment to sleep and my house because going through acute was pretty traumatizing to say the least. I'm hoping by changing up my room, I'll be able to cut that negative attachment out. We will see. I also made an appt with a therapist this Thursday. Hope you are feeling better today.
Try doing guided meditations on youtube. THey helped me with sleep. As soon as I would lay down I would get attacked with intrusive thoughts. It was super intense but the meditations for sleep helped so much.
I took 5mg valium 2x a day for 8 years. I'm 14 months off them, and I'm shocked at how much I can relate to you Angela. Except I didn't get taken out AS bad as you, but you have given me peace of mind knowing I'm not crazy. Thanks for your videos. I am still a recluse and I also love UA-cam's guided meditation.
Your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm 4 months off of Ativan cold turkey from 1mg and even at this point I'm surprised I'm still alive. My doctors do nothing for me. I feel crazy head pressure now and nausea and my doctors don't think it's related so I'm going in for a battery of tests for brain tumors and so on. I feel like no one can come out of all this nightmare without getting cancer or something from all the stress. It's a living nightmare and I don't know how I can keep going. Stress causes inflammation in your body so you waking up to pee or stomach issues is probably more collateral damage from stress from withdrawal rather than from the drug itself.
Scott- at 9 months I felt just like you do. The body is incredibly resilient. Trust that more than the doctors who have NO CLUE what any of this is about. I stayed away from them and just recently did blood tests and everything was normal. We can have a lot of scary thoughts in this about it being "something else." It's just amplified fear but there is NOTHING else wrong with you. All that stuff will resolve and you will be whole again.
Thank you for your advice, much appreciated. The only thing that keeps me going is hope for a better future and that fate often has a way of working itself out. We were meant to go through this to be stronger and bring purpose to our lives for the betterment of the world. Nothing brings about greatness more than suffering and sacrifice.
Nothing better than to break out some Nietzsche at times like these. "Before my highest mountain I stand and before my longest wandering; to that end I must first go down deeper than ever I descended-deeper into pain than ever I descended, down into its blackest flood. Thus my destiny wants it. Well, I am ready. Whence come the highest mountains? I once asked. Then I learned that they came out of the sea. The evidence is written in their rocks and in the walls of their peaks. It is out of the deepest depth that the highest must come to its height." "To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities-I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not-that one endures.”
Morning, hope you’re continuing to recover. I’ve been recovering 5 years 9 months. Klonopin and Celexa cold turkey, for 81/2 years. I relate to your symptoms especially the eating. Thanks for your service. Thanks for your truth. Blessing sister, Benjamin
Still apathetic most days, ptsd, head psi and burning face and mouth. Most days able to stay up all day. There’s still so little known about how long this stuff stores in the body fat. Any way I go slow one day at a time, and it hurts. I struggle to day but not as bad. It’s a personal journey and I am finding spiritual. Thanks for asking. Blessing
I’ve been in the different groups and it has help some. And I’ve chased the different remedies, to no avail. I do see va therapist they are starting emdr now, we will see. It’s just hard to talk to those that haven’t been there.
Going to work has been the only thing that has kept me going even though I have a really hard time being around people and talking to people. Double edge sword. Makes time go by faster. Congrats on graduating! What a big accomplishment. You are such a strong and beautiful person. Love your videos.
in a few days ill be 1 year off, after almost 15 years on klonopin 2mg/day, feeling like shit but better then last year definitly problems i have are eye problems, tremors, "jelly legs"
Soldier you are strong and you are doing great. By da way thanks for your service for our Country. Keep doing good and going to the V. A.. Peace,,,, keep thinking about your family and friends
I'm not even sure how this video came to me I guess it was God but I'm so thankful that it did bc I have EXTREME anxiety and have been diagnosed with PTSD after being molested as a child and my therapist wants to put me on Ativan and antidepressants and I'm against it but she keeps telling me it will help and now I'm convinced it is definitely not the way to go I will figure something else out. Thank you so much for putting this out here for me and for so many other people. Again ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty
It's not a good thing when a therapist recommends medication. What it really means is that they are not doing their job to help you. Please consider a new therapist (WHO RESPECTS YOUR WISHES) and this: chayagrossberg.com/alternatives-to-psychiatric-meds/
Melanie Mattes I am seriously SO HAPPY to hear that. If even one person is spared that makes my journey worth it! I struggle with the SAME things you have been through ❤️. You are not alone and no medication is going to help. Especially benzos and antidepressants. If you’re feeling tempted please message me!! Check out joe Dispenza and his work. Also khundalini yoga. It sounds stupid but these things actually work
This is very gratifying to see. One suggestion.. HIIT (and intermittent fasting -- one or two meals a day, NO snacks -- to keep blood sugar low most of the day).. this maximizes growth hormone that helps rebuild nerves and prevents nagging injuries from training and so forth. But do what your doing because it looks like it's working. It's good to see you doing well.
Bill Morrison I'm doing HIIT---- crossfit. I mentioned that in the video 😀 I have to eat small meals throughout the day to keep my blood sugar level and that works for me.
That's cool... Also, Vit D from sun exposure (between 10 am and 3 pm in summer, spring -- * for about 20 to 30 minutes every day you can* to avoid burns if that's a problem)... unlike the "official" bogus recommendation of sunblock.. that's bull. Vit D is suppose to help multiple bodily processes. Sun exposure converts sulfur to much more usable sulfate as well. Keep up the good progress !
I just saw this. I feel so terrible, perhaps I would be seeing the light from the SSRI withdrawl but the Ativan is what sent me deep into this hell. It's barely been 3 months going on 4 barely since cutting the Benzo. How long will acute last. It's horrific and I can't do it.
Congrats! I'm a C/T Klonopin short term user. Just a month and half PRN. It was enough to put me into W/D. I guess my main concern is more insomnia. I'm only sleeping since due to exercising almost everyday though my sleep is fractured. I walk around lots if if I exercised intensely the previous day. I'm trying to return to work so that I could get my mind off things. I guess I'm just really worried on sleep since I had to retrain my body to sleep at nights, but I work nights.I'm amazed by your story and I hope I be able to heal soon as you did. I really like your positive attitude.
Will these repeated weird thoughts that come to my mind ever go away? During my taper, the feeling of unreality, dpdr was severe and constant, now when I am 4 months off xanax, the thoughts like, am I real, am I really exist, is my mind working properly etc makes me terribly anxious, nervous and shaky. I experienced a little window , but these repeated thoughts make my recovery impossible.
I watch your videos again and again to validate myself. Now at 15 months off benzos, I get weird thoughts about my reality, my surroundings, my existence etc, my mind questions me that is this your life you are in or seeing around. I am always in a state of confusion and that leads to fear, nervousness and anxiety. I have heavy and foggy head also. There is a feeling of lost and fake existence of myself. Is this happens at this point of time? Will they ever go away ?
So happy for you. 17 months way to go you!! I have been watching testimonials and they scare the crap out of me, but I am in awe of all of you and am so thankful you are sharing your life, I don't want to call it a story because it takes away from the reality of how you all are suffering. I stopped the video when you mentioned your bladder. I have been waiting, searching quite frankly for someone who had/has bladder problems as a withdrawal effect. I am in the process just now of getting off Clonazepam 0.5mg, 5 x day. Two and 1/2 years ago something went ding in me bc I knew I had to get out of the horror show called "anti-depressant". I was on 300mg Effexor XR for 12 years, prior to that was when Prozac first came on the market. So let's just say, 17 yrs on and off SSRI's, 13 years solid for clonazepam (my mom died July 20, 2003, from ovarian cancer, 6 months from diagnosis to death, not a lot of time to process. Also, I am a single mom and my son was only 2 and 1/2 at the time - couldn't fall apart so I was prescribed the Clonazepam and Effexor - had been doing fine before, didn't take any drugs while pregnant, nor did I need any until it really sunk in that she wasn't coming back)... okay, so, bladder. When I was a month away from zero Effexor I began to have a problem with frequent urination. My bladder would fill up, I would go, 20 minutes later, my bladder would fill again and I'd have to go. Before I made the connection, though it is not listed in the withdrawal literature, I did urine tests for UTI's - negative, blood tests for diabetes and thyroid - normal. Ultrasound - nothing serious, at least nothing that would indicate why I was urinating so much. Then I went for a CT-scan, again, normal. Have an appointment end of August with a Uro/Gyn though I'm sure he'll find nothing. Also, bladder control meds have zero effect. Because I am menopausal I thought maybe I'd try Estrogen cream, supposed to strengthen the organs in the pelvic floor? (doesn't have the same effect as the oral dose of hormone replacement therapy). So yeah, it has been since Christmas that my life is revolved around or rather taken place in the bathroom. I have become obsessed trying to figure out how to stop urinating. I can get 3 hours uninterrupted sleep before I start peeing again, my bladder feels all tingly and it is so annoying. What is worse, is that even though I need the sleep? no matter how hard I try to get past 8:00 a.m., I start to panic and have to get up. But get up for what? The slow but steady degradation of my world, how it became smaller, how I couldn't do the simplest of things without going into a panic was not noticed until it became too late, or rather, too late is today. I want my life back, and there is only one way to get it. Once I do? Then for the first time in my life, I will believe that I am STRONG Thank you so much.
Thanks so much for responding, that was very generous of you. To be honest, I'm not that positive, or maybe I am and don't realize it. I just know in my heart/soul that if I don't do something now then I will be in far worse shape when I am 60 or 70. I cannot imagine nor do I want to be elderly and terrified and have someone else in charge of my care. Quite frankly, I'm scared. When I decided to get off the Effexor I mentioned to my Doctor that I wanted to get off the Clonazepam because it wasn't really working anymore and asked about Ativan (little did I know it wasn't working because I'd built up a tolerance and switching to another benzo was not the solution). That began a snowball effect of him cutting off the C and prescribing not enough Ativan. I spent that summer in his office every two weeks, going back and forth, nope, put me back on C the A isn't working, I can't sleep... then, nope, the C is making me more anxious put me back on A - I was driving him crazy. Had I known then that I was beginning the withdrawal process then I would have carried on and would have been out of the woods today; maybe. I remember that summer, couldn't sleep at all, had suicidal ideation, every horrible thing I could think of regarding how I possibly destroyed my son's life came rushing at me, (I didn't ruin him, I gave him my all but now he's a teenager so in his mind, yeah, I ruined his life) sweating profusely, but then I thought the sweating was menopause. I would have out of body type feelings, could barely speak without stuttering. It was awful. Now, I have to do it all again. One good thing, at least I know what to expect and can prepare my family. My son will be no help simply because he is a teenager and he has better things to do than go pick up groceries from across the street! And yes, I would love to update you on my progress and hope you will continue to make your videos, you and others give me courage, hope and a place to come where people know you are not making it up, that you/me/others are not crazy. Stay strong, for you, not for anyone else. It is your life. I hope to do the same. Thank you again, Alyssa
@@AngiePeacockMSW I'm so sorry. Benzo brain alert! 😭 I've been tapering off benzos after being on them for 26 years, for the last 2 years and 5 months I've been tapering off
If anyone reads this I want to say I used to wake up and immediately feel so much pain I’d want to be dead but after starting to drink fruit smoothies I can wake up like 80% better idk why but I think it was a lot of bowel problems. I used spinach yogurt and a bunch of frozen fruit it tastes good. Idk the pain and feelings I would get after waking up were so bad I can’t remember what it was like. I was HEAVY into benzos for a five year period also prescribed 4mg Xanax a day for a few years
Angela... Can I ask if you were kindled? I think you said you were multiple times; if not mistaken? If so, do you know the longest time in between benzos?was it months? Were you cold turkeyed off benzos before and then given other meds afterwards not knowing what happened? I'm so sorry for all the questions.... Its just so upsetting when people say if you rapid/ cold turkeyed and then reinstated many months later and never stabilized that you are brain damaged for life...I keep seeing this being said and someone keeps saying that many people that are really bad are hiding the truth from other people so as not to scare them... If you are kindled; meaning many many months off benzos and back on and worse there really is no hope This makes me want to give up so bad..... I'm constantly crying from seeing posts like this.....I just want to give up; the suffering is too much to bear; I'm completely debilitated because this is what happened to me...You are such an inspiration and I thank you so much for your time.... Bless you always
Yes I said I was kindled. I was on benzos twice before. I was off for a year or so then had some back injections 6 months in a row with versed. I kept waking up screaming and didn't understand why so I stopped the injections. A year later or so I got bad anxiety again. They put me back on benzos. All those years I didn't understand what happened to me because I was always on other meds. I was probably in a constant state of withdrawal for over 13 years either from benzos, anti psychotics or anti depressants. But MARK---- it doesn't matter. Even I will heal. So will you. Just commit to the process and keep your thoughts focused on healing. It is inevitable. Just takes time.
Hey Ang, Did you feel like there was a pressure type of weight in your head?? Just kinda sitting in your brain? I have had all the crazy shit symptoms that you mentioned and then some..but the weight pressure thing was torture and it felt like a weight just hovering on one side of my brain was relentless and I can't find it in a google search b/c its so tough to explain ..and then to have the relentless suicidal depression+ akathesia on top OMG..I have since healed..It was very traumatic and my heart hurts for all of you who have to go through this..peace & love
Yes I have it this morning actually and it makes me feel slightly agitated / aggressive / irrational. I hate it. It only happens after bad sleep now. How long did it take you to heal? I had inner akathesia, didn't pace but walked and cleaned and fidgeted a lot for 6 months. I can't wait for this to be over. UGH!!
Thank you for your honesty . I had no way other than videos like this to realize what's happening. You are brave and also thank you for your service. I'm hoping to be done with this pharmaceutical bull and there needs to be people like you to help the truth come out. Thank you! I'm inspired to spread the truth.
Now at 13 months off, when I started feeling that I am improving, as most of my symptoms were less in intensity, but suddenly from two days I felt so horrible, all the dark intrusion thoughts, heavy spinning head, my brain is not connected to environment, blank weird feel, came back severely. I am really scared and doubt about my own reality. Is this a pattern of the process at this point of time? As I can recall, two days ago, I went to a crowded place with a stong smell of smoke and drinks. Can this increase our symptoms so bad ?
I am 16 months off benzos, but sometimes I feel severe headache especially in the night, very gassy feeling, with shivers, tremors, shaking. Is this common at this point of time? Is this anyway related to the food eaten in the night?
I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm either going to stay on benzos my whole life or there is no other decision I am not going through these withdraws that you guys are all talking about I'm not going through three years of recovery no way I am fine I'm fine q
Cheryl Miller I'm healing and so will you. You get your life back in this process and it makes it all worth it. Not everyone has bad withdrawals like me because they taper. I was cold turkey'd by a doctor. My story is not your story. Everyone is different.
Ang Peabody I've already decided that I'm just going to see undies I'm going to stay on the benzos for the rest of my life because I just need my life will be better with it and I'm like I've been on them for 6 years the same milligram 6mg so I'm just going to stay awesome so I can be normal and not go through the nightmares of withdrawal from benzodiazepines not going to and I only use them to sleep so thank you for all that you do and thank you for sharing your videos I just subscribed you because I really like what you had to say
Thanks Cheryl but remember, we don't know how long the drug will work for us. I thought I was fine until I wasn't and then I had to cold turkey to save my life. Learn from my lesson and don't do that. Also, we never know when a doctor could stop prescribing them. Things are changing with opiates and benzos might be next. PA and NY already changed prescribing guidelines for benzos. People are tapering off so they don't have to be forced off later.
Ang Peabody could my doctor really take me off cold turkey 6mg of Xanax I would get sick I could get very sick hospitalization sick I can't see my doctor doing that to me I don't over take I don't over abuse them and I've been on them for almost 9 years I can't see my life without them
I've seen worse things happen yes. Doctors don't believe these drugs cause withdrawals. It's pretty sick. That's also a pretty high dose which means you might be in tolerance. People taper super slow all the time to try to avoid worse symptoms. Read about that here. www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Good for you for surviving that my doctor also took me off of Xanax cold turkey in about killed me. I’ve been off at 10 years now but I still suffer from symptoms from coming off cold turkey.
Alright so I could reallly use some hope right now. And please feel free to be completely honest. Before benzos I had very bad social anxiety and even agoraphobia at one point. But, through a lot of hard work and consistently facing the fear of rejection in about a year I turned from shy guy to mr outgoing confident guy. What I've been told is now that once I'm through the withdrawal is that social anxiety and agoraphobia is back and I'll have to re learn how to overcome it all over again? Is that true? I was really hoping getting through withdrawal would be the finish line. Now I feel like the Universe is like "hey, I know you just went through hell...now learn how to overcome cancer." I thought time itself was gonna heal me.
Robert Hazouri no one can tell the future. You just have to get through this and then see what your baseline is. A lot of stuff that I had preexisting does not matter to me anymore after going through this hell. It’s like it gave me a new perspective. I’m sure whatever it is you’ll face will never be as bad as benzo damage.
I am looking at cold turkey from 1mg ativan due to my new psychologist. Ive been on different doses of all benzos for 13yrs. Im scared to say the least. Most ive gone is 7 days with a seizure and concussion. Thank u for ur videos
Thank you so much Angela... Truly and sincerely Its frightening as I am still on the drug ( i was off ativan for almost 9 months and then put on kolonopin) and am suffering devastating physical sxs being on it and mental and trying to get off as I can't function on it at allThe kolonopin is compounding the damage the ativan already did....at the time I didnt understand what was happening and that healing was non linear....I wish I could rapid taper cold turkey again because of the severity of my physical and mental sxs ( involuntary movements from head, face to toe; shaking and trembling ; had this from ativan even worse now) that seem partly paradoxical/adverse.....I am barely surviving... I feel this can get much worse if I do and feel trapped... Although I micro cut every chance I can...I feel hopeless and permanently damagedI cry constantly as I don't see anyone like me in that regard You are helping people so much with your videos and I appreciate you for doing so... Thank you for any sort of hope...
Even the worst cases like you and I heal too. Just get off that damn drug as quickly but safe as you can... Not giving you medical advice, just saying what I had to do. You will heal I promise!
Well, because that’s what they prescribed me. In hindsight I had built tolerance and both stopped working but because I wasn’t addicted to them, and didn’t raise my dose, it damaged my nervous system from taking them too long. I wish someone would have warned me.
I can totally relate to your "bizarre random thoughts" problem. I'm sorry we have to go through that. We are all miracles. I like that. I'm JUST starting to taper off of 3 x 2mg Klonopin for the last 10 years. I'm concerned.
i believe all my symptoms are neurological. What exactly do mean? I have serious perceptual distortions, dizziness, vision problems still now and that's all neurological.
fatigue was here until probably month 14. I still get it every once in awhile. I had head pressure the first 6-8 months then just every now and then. Inner akathesia until month 6 but I still rock back and forth when made to stand still. It really sounds worse than it is because I'm pretty much back to being functional now, just have these symptoms mildly now. It's not too bad at all.
I’m now 10 3/4 months off... I had some signs of improvement at month 7 until I got a 🤬 epidural... they gave me Propofol and Steroid in C6... Since then my life is horrible. Worse than before. Weird .. I got the same visual things too... Can’t go shopping at all again IDK... I’m hopeless... losing connections to anything I love I get derealization too... and over thinking Hate this Satan drug... can’t function, can’t work... I don’t even want to eat
Nothing is too personal. I got my period every 2 weeks the first 2 months off then it returned to normal but all my symptoms would get worse around a week before my period. The progesterone drop causes that. My period has also shortened from 5 days to 4 days. I have faith all this will normalize as I heal.
Hi, I am experiencing very strange and intense symptoms from the last 3 days, that I never heard about from anyone. I am feeling episodes of not recognising or knowing well my place, my family members, my wise mind is in total confusion. Today I felt like I have no brain ( my rational mind) at all. I am 6 months off xanax. It's very scary, like I am no where, no brain, total confusion, faded glimpses of place, people around. Why do I feel this way? Please help
@@AngiePeacockMSW no, I have not taken any supplement or vitamins from the last one year. And I have never had alcohol in my life.. I am really scared about these new horrific symptoms from the last week. My rational mind is in total confusion, a severe floating, hypnotized type of feel, with intense heat at back of my head. I feel dizzy, walking like I'm about to fall down and have no confidence over my mind. Please help, I never felt these ever before. As I can recall, my stress levels were really high last week due to some family issues.
@@ranim7618Hopefully you are doing better now. Your symptoms are very relevant to benzo/ssri withdrawal. The feeling of being "disconnected" from reality is a typical side effect. Hang in there , it takes time. You can do this!
@@susanmorgan4151I am a little better now, but still very damaged and symptomatic. As I am a year off xanax now, I feel myself stuck in this frightening journey. How are you doing now? How long have you been off now? and how long have you taken the SSRI/ benzos?
It's true like I've never I've always experienced anxiety my whole life but it's never been this horrific and just to be comfortable would be amazing in my own body mind heart soul and spirit to feel comfortable with my son and just be comfortable. I'm so uncomfortable it's like being crippled inside best, way I can describe it. So please Jesus Christ God our heavenly father and higher power and he greatest healer Jesus Christ God please heal us and make us reborn without dying here on Earth and he lost phone completely and bring peace over us without anything happening that we did know what you know what I would not want but if we pray about it or not and please and thank you Jesus Christ God Amen❤️🙏❤️🙏
I’m feeling extremely shoulder and neck pain for 6 months now :( the numbness has gone away but still limited mobility in my arm :( I’m almost 17 months completely off ssri and Ativan for 15years , will the pain go away I hope it’s not permanent 😢
i had seen shadows of people near my windows amd would turn mi head 2 look eventualy i stopped looking, i came off 3 2 mg bars of zs for 10 yrs, complete hell! im on wk 2
Question: Why were you taking benzos in such a high dosage? 2 or 3 mg of Ativan a day? That's insane. If I take 1 mg I don't want to see it for another two weeks. I take benzos on occasion, and as a result will watch some of these youtube vids of patients describing their withdrawal trial and tribulations for comparison purposes, or to see where I'm at in this game. I use it more as a psychological crutch, or as a path of least resistance option when my work gets tough and unbearable.
Fair enough, but didn't you feel like crap when you took them consecutively for days or a week? If I take them two or three days in a row, I feel like $hit. Plus the rebound anxiety only makes me want to avoid them.
I felt nothing and had no idea they were any different than prozac. I have a degree in psychology and benzo withdrawal was never mentioned. My doctor and multiple therapists never said anything like this would happen.
When I was in college many years ago, my physician prescribed prazepam (Centrax) in order to deal with stress and insomnia because of my course workload. He only gave me a 30 day script, and this was back in the 80's...no refills. He warned me about possible withdrawal effects.
I agree my psychosis sx was very hard to fight, I have no support family and friends judged about wd not understanding what is was like on benzodiazepines taken exactly as my Dr prescribed. I'm now homeless bc noone believes this is real bc Dr dont know about it.. Anyone in Florida or close please reach out i just need someone who understand and believe.
Healingfrom Benzos OK thanks I have been off librium for about 2months and 12days.took them for 8months I have OK days and terrible days I hope I heal soon this is torture can't believe a pill I got prescribed has changed my life and a bad way and there's not help or rehab for this iam so confused.
Wow, you are so strong girl, congratulations on graduation from college, i wish you good luck with the healing process.
I am still having problems with working out, tell me had you got your emotions back
S Ms emotions aren't back all the way yet but getting better!
Ang Peabody so glad to see your progressing, I've watched all of your videos and you're an inspiration
Antwon Smith thanks!
Healingfrom Benzos Hi. I was reading about Niacin for anxiety . I don't know if you have ever tried that . How are you feeling ..
So good of you to keep making this videos Angela, it's so valuable for all different reasons. Your videos brought me to the group and seeing you get better is extremely helpful. Keep up the good work, you are an example of how incredible strong people can be. I'm positive you will get there and do a lot of good in this world ❤
I am so happy to hear you're feeling better - 75-85%! You're an inspiration. Been watching your videos from your first. Totally understand your intrusive thoughts.
Are you healing too? I hope so and thanks for the comment
We even saw the beginnings of a little smile... :)
Well done Ang... You're completely terrific x
Just at 17 months now. My anxiety has went down a little which is a blessing. I can now go grocery shopping. I still have mega insomnia. I hope my sleep comes back. Alot of nerve pain in my back and neck. Vision sucks too. I feel like I'm stuck tho. If the insomnia would let up things would be better. Its like i lost the ability to sleep no matter how tired i am.
are you eating sugar? Caffeine? When I cut that all out it helped so much!
@@AngiePeacockMSW a lil sugar like a small ice cream bar once in awhile definitely no caffeine.
@@jeffgalaska8269 ok good, it's just a matter of time. Your sleep will be better soon. It took me a long time!
I'm at the 15th mth ct, you give me hope that I will also walk to the store again❣️ I also still have stiff neck + shoulder nerve pain, I'm sure it will go away in time. God bless. 🙏🌈👍
@@AngiePeacockMSWafter 850 days u get a sleep like 5 hours
I have been binge-watching your videos. I, too, was on Ativan. It took me 2 1/2 years to taper off of 2 mgs but not without issues. My main problem is my body twitching and jerking and I feel unsteady on my feet, having to resort to using a walker. I know you have come a long way. I highly respect you and all you have done for our community.
Listening to you speak your truth touches my heart. More is being revealed to me. When you said “cocktail” of meds it really sunk in....my doc had me on 30 different pills everyday. I had long disappeared behind the drugs.. it has been almost four years since my last pill and I feel like Iam continuing to “wake” . Iam in recovery also and immersed myself in the program. I too see the connection and realize food is medicine. Keep spreading your message of hope.🙏🏻🌞🌈
Thank you for your update...I have been wondering especially about your vision normalizing and wishing for your complete recovery to happen soon.
I love you Angela. You are so strong. I love your mentality. You always keep it real yet compassionate. Wishing you the best on the rest of your healing. Right around the corner 🙌🙌🙌
Ha! I hope so. I did my time in hell, that's for sure.
Healingfrom Benzos Hope is all we need!!! You sure have!!! release date coming soon. haha ❤
I really like listening to you while I'm going through this!! It's unreal how many people they give this stuff too!!
You give me hope! I have exactly what you use to have it sucks. Glad you are okay.
subbed , CONGRATS ON YOUR SUCCES ! im welling up knowing there is light at the end of benzo missery
there is light! Keep going!
Thank you for sharing your story. My mom is starting to withdraw from Ativan after 20 years of use. She has terrible parkinsonism. Diet has helped so much. She asks for green smoothies now. Her doctor isn't aware that it is safer to taper, he just casually says you can stop anytime. The withdrawals are awful. I am so glad that you pushed through and are nourishing your cells. Dominic D'Agostino PhD is an expert in cellular metabolism if you ever want to kick your knowledge up even further. He is all over UA-cam. Congratulations on graduating college! Happy healing. 😃
Hey how’s your mom doing
I recovered fully it took a lot of time but it happens
How long did it take you?
Thanks for sharing. I'm at 15mths ct off klonipin, was on about 20yrs. I'm doing better, when I look back, to when I began, I have come a long long way in the healing process. Thanks for the inspiration ❣️ 🙏🌈👍
Ahhh there's a way out! Thank you.
it took a year by myself w. no dr. i still cant leave house
It's hard
jessica wyatt How are you now and how far along are you
jessica wyatt you are tough that’s for sure
@@lisamarie7292 😉
Yeah the bad thing is we are taking these benzos for a reason. Then in stopping, even after a long time you can still wind up agoraphobia then how can you even get stuff done??
I feel for you. Truly. My CT in 2012 was forced. I didn't know what a benzo was. Psychotic wds are real. Windows do improve with each taper for me. Do not reinstate & updose. I did. Am still leary to make an update vid. Kaleidoscopic vision sucks. Light stays on the retinas even with eyes closed. You'll get you back!
no way would I ever reinstate or ever take another psychiatric drug EVER! That would murder me after going through this!
Winged Gypsy what do you mean "each taper" how many times have you went back on and up?
I think she means each time she makes a cut during her current taper.
Ang Peabody so glad to see your improving! I was on 2 mg of Klonopin for 12 years and did a 3 month taper. I have been off Klonopin now for 468 days (in my 16th month) and I am slowly improving. I still have extreme constipation that I take Linzess for. I still have head pressure, woozy feeling in my head, and tightness in my jaw. I started to notice another level of improvement 3 weeks ago, but kind of back in a waive today. Most grueling thing I have ever been through. I really enjoyed your video. Please make some more when you can.
Ken
I'm so glad you're getting better! I will make another :) Maybe about food. How's your diet- it might help more than medicine!
Ang Peabody I have tried all sorts of diets and nothing helped. I had a colonoscopy bad they found nothing wrong. I think the extreme exhaustion I feel daily is impacting it. I am hoping another 2-3 months I see more improvement. Klonopin is one evil drug!
I agree.. However, diet changes need to be LONG TERM. Not something you try for a few weeks. We are so used to quick fixes. Repairing the gut is a huge part of healing from this and I worry that medicine will block your ability to heal your gut.
It's kind of a catch 22. if I don't take it then I am extremely miserable and can't function at all. I still have extreme tightness in my jaw and in my colon so as long as that exists nothing is moving through the colon.
So glad you are doing good
you have come along way from the homeless TV piece that i saw you in. Thanks for this video, i was hoping you were doing well. Wow, Miss traveler, you have been doing things some of us just dream about. The Vet cause is doing you good, like you saw pushing yourself. I wish you continued success. keep us posted.
It's so good to get an update from you! You are an inspiration. Incredibly strong. Coming off benzos is complete hell. I'm a year off and in a bad wave but watching this video has given me some hope and a lot of your challenges- I have them too. I don't have a support system either (btw my dog jumped up when she heard your dog! Lol) thank goodness for those precious furbabies. If you feel like traveling come see me in South Carolina! Haha. Your video seriously could have been two hours long and I would've listened to it. Keep us updated. Thanks for everything and BIG CONGRATULATIONS on your degree!
Awe thanks Hayley! That's 1 year you never have to do again. Big love to you!
You are an inspiration to me! I was on between .5 and 6mg of ativan for over 20 years. I am doing a liquid micro taper now. I am also a type 1 diabetic. Diet is huge. Once I eliminated the gluten from my diet, the "benzo belly" lessened dramatically as well as my coated tongue. Yes, stop labeling the symptoms! And YES to ACCEPT & DISTRACT! Amen to that no matter how hard they are, what choice to we have?! The depression is the worst part for me. I believe, like you, that we need to force ourselves to do certain things and that healing seems linear at times. I can't be in groups too much as you talk about, there is so much talk about symptoms that in our fragile state, they can become our own. Keep up the good job and a big congrats on your plane flight and you graduation!!!!! HI to Joe!
Oh, the VA did this to you too! Isn't it nice to be cared for like this after you serve your country. Atleast i'm not the only one. So sorry that you are going through this. I'm still in it, but i am happy you are doingg better, it certainly gives me hope!
Have you looked into neuroplasticity; fight/flight/freeze response loop; rewiring amygdala? I am learning about it now. It reminds me of what you are saying about looking at ptsd in a different light. When i learn about how i became ill and how my brain and body work, it makes me feel like i can learn how to fix this; learn other ways to cope that do not involve drugs. It makes me feel as though this is not going to be a life ling thing; that i will actually heal.
Hi Joe! I don't have much support, but i do have my bf and my kitties. My reward when i get better is to get a dog. I am looking into an emotional support dog.
I was thinking of going back to school. I didn't think i could handle it but maybe i can?
I want to help other veterans because so many are going through this alone, not even knowing what is causing it. I am in Florida. Is there anything i can do here to help? Is there a chapter of that organization here?
I read all of what you mentioned. I do believe exactly what you are saying; there is no magic anything; and it will take time but we will all heal. Thank you so much! Prayers for your full recovery! 💖
Sunny Romano you too Sunny? What happened? Can you tell me?
I am so happy to hear you are doing better. I've been following your story. I'm almost 2 months off short term ct.
How are you feeling?
Ang Peabody The worst for me is the depersonalization and insomnia at this point. I think going through this has given me sleep anxiety. No matter what I take I can't seem to initiate sleep. But i tried staying at a friend's house and I was able to sleep there so I'm thinking I just have a negative attachment to sleep and my house because going through acute was pretty traumatizing to say the least. I'm hoping by changing up my room, I'll be able to cut that negative attachment out. We will see. I also made an appt with a therapist this Thursday. Hope you are feeling better today.
Try doing guided meditations on youtube. THey helped me with sleep. As soon as I would lay down I would get attacked with intrusive thoughts. It was super intense but the meditations for sleep helped so much.
Healingfrom Benzos I do put it on in the background and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. hopefully it gets better.
Thank you for sharing your story... It gives me hope.
I took 5mg valium 2x a day for 8 years. I'm 14 months off them, and I'm shocked at how much I can relate to you Angela. Except I didn't get taken out AS bad as you, but you have given me peace of mind knowing I'm not crazy. Thanks for your videos. I am still a recluse and I also love UA-cam's guided meditation.
Feels like my brain is leaving my head I can’t handle this vertigo
@@kimberlyhenson29 how long have you been off them? It gets better....I promise. Eventually you will heal. 💜
Your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm 4 months off of Ativan cold turkey from 1mg and even at this point I'm surprised I'm still alive. My doctors do nothing for me. I feel crazy head pressure now and nausea and my doctors don't think it's related so I'm going in for a battery of tests for brain tumors and so on. I feel like no one can come out of all this nightmare without getting cancer or something from all the stress. It's a living nightmare and I don't know how I can keep going.
Stress causes inflammation in your body so you waking up to pee or stomach issues is probably more collateral damage from stress from withdrawal rather than from the drug itself.
Scott- at 9 months I felt just like you do. The body is incredibly resilient. Trust that more than the doctors who have NO CLUE what any of this is about. I stayed away from them and just recently did blood tests and everything was normal. We can have a lot of scary thoughts in this about it being "something else." It's just amplified fear but there is NOTHING else wrong with you. All that stuff will resolve and you will be whole again.
Thank you for your advice, much appreciated. The only thing that keeps me going is hope for a better future and that fate often has a way of working itself out. We were meant to go through this to be stronger and bring purpose to our lives for the betterment of the world. Nothing brings about greatness more than suffering and sacrifice.
you are so right. It's just a whole lot of suffering. We will live the best lives when this is over
Nothing better than to break out some Nietzsche at times like these.
"Before my highest mountain I stand and before my longest wandering; to that end I must first go down deeper than ever I descended-deeper into pain than ever I descended, down into its blackest flood. Thus my destiny wants it. Well, I am ready. Whence come the highest mountains? I once asked. Then I learned that they came out of the sea. The evidence is written in their rocks and in the walls of their peaks. It is out of the deepest depth that the highest must come to its height."
"To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities-I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not-that one endures.”
we are they that endure
I have had visual snow my whole life so if you ever want to talk about it hit me up on Facebook.
Ugh it sucks Dan!
I would definitely enjoy a diet video!!!
Morning, hope you’re continuing to recover. I’ve been recovering 5 years 9 months. Klonopin and Celexa cold turkey, for 81/2 years. I relate to your symptoms especially the eating. Thanks for your service. Thanks for your truth. Blessing sister, Benjamin
I need to do an update video! I am doing better than since this video. Sending healing thoughts to you too! How are you feeling?
Still apathetic most days, ptsd, head psi and burning face and mouth. Most days able to stay up all day. There’s still so little known about how long this stuff stores in the body fat. Any way I go slow one day at a time, and it hurts. I struggle to day but not as bad. It’s a personal journey and I am finding spiritual. Thanks for asking. Blessing
@@benjaminwalker6989 very similar to me. Yes, I think we basically have to wait for all our damaged cells to regenerate which can take YEARS!
I’ve been in the different groups and it has help some. And I’ve chased the different remedies, to no avail. I do see va therapist they are starting emdr now, we will see. It’s just hard to talk to those that haven’t been there.
@@benjaminwalker6989how are you doing now?
Going to work has been the only thing that has kept me going even though I have a really hard time being around people and talking to people. Double edge sword. Makes time go by faster. Congrats on graduating! What a big accomplishment. You are such a strong and beautiful person. Love your videos.
Celeste Martinez double edged sword for sure!
Is it is easier for you to be around people now? I'm almost 6 months off and my social anxiety is ridiculous still.
in a few days ill be 1 year off, after almost 15 years on klonopin 2mg/day, feeling like shit but better then last year definitly
problems i have are eye problems, tremors, "jelly legs"
Loshmi how rr u now
@@sangeetalambh6389 im pretty good thank you. how are you my friend?
@@loshmi123 183 days off sleeping problem feel dp like I have no legs did u feel this sym
@@loshmi123 after how many months u have better sleep
@@sangeetalambh6389 after 7-8 months, i started getting up at 6-7am no matter how much i slept, and i started exercising in the morning.
Soldier you are strong and you are doing great. By da way thanks for your service for our Country. Keep doing good and going to the V. A.. Peace,,,, keep thinking about your family and friends
You are awesome thanks for these videos. I know im not alone now.
I'm not even sure how this video came to me I guess it was God but I'm so thankful that it did bc I have EXTREME anxiety and have been diagnosed with PTSD after being molested as a child and my therapist wants to put me on Ativan and antidepressants and I'm against it but she keeps telling me it will help and now I'm convinced it is definitely not the way to go I will figure something else out. Thank you so much for putting this out here for me and for so many other people. Again ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty
It's not a good thing when a therapist recommends medication. What it really means is that they are not doing their job to help you. Please consider a new therapist (WHO RESPECTS YOUR WISHES) and this: chayagrossberg.com/alternatives-to-psychiatric-meds/
Melanie Mattes never never never never do it. Please. Even just for a little bit. It is literal HELL!
@@tomandjennacali1879 Thank you again soooooooooo much I will figure something else out
Melanie Mattes I am seriously SO HAPPY to hear that. If even one person is spared that makes my journey worth it! I struggle with the SAME things you have been through ❤️. You are not alone and no medication is going to help. Especially benzos and antidepressants. If you’re feeling tempted please message me!! Check out joe Dispenza and his work. Also khundalini yoga. It sounds stupid but these things actually work
How did you get over intrusive thoughts? That’s the only thing that is scaring me at the moment! I’m ready for them to get awayyyyyy!!!!
thank you
This is very gratifying to see. One suggestion.. HIIT (and intermittent fasting -- one or two meals a day, NO snacks -- to keep blood sugar low most of the day).. this maximizes growth hormone that helps rebuild nerves and prevents nagging injuries from training and so forth. But do what your doing because it looks like it's working. It's good to see you doing well.
Bill Morrison I'm doing HIIT---- crossfit. I mentioned that in the video 😀 I have to eat small meals throughout the day to keep my blood sugar level and that works for me.
That's cool... Also, Vit D from sun exposure (between 10 am and 3 pm in summer, spring -- * for about 20 to 30 minutes every day you can* to avoid burns if that's a problem)... unlike the "official" bogus recommendation of sunblock.. that's bull. Vit D is suppose to help multiple bodily processes. Sun exposure converts sulfur to much more usable sulfate as well. Keep up the good progress !
Amazing! Very good.
Socializing will help your progress along enormously
alyan83 I've done that the whole time by going to the gym and school but thanks!
Healingfrom Benzos that's great👍 I find that being with people when you're not super sympthomatic, puts breaks on everything
I agree!
I just saw this. I feel so terrible, perhaps I would be seeing the light from the SSRI withdrawl but the Ativan is what sent me deep into this hell. It's barely been 3 months going on 4 barely since cutting the Benzo. How long will acute last. It's horrific and I can't do it.
It can take a long time but YOU WILL HEAL.
Lmao I know how weird/intrusive thoughts suck to have but “what if I’m walking on stilts” sent me
Congrats! I'm a C/T Klonopin short term user. Just a month and half PRN. It was enough to put me into W/D. I guess my main concern is more insomnia. I'm only sleeping since due to exercising almost everyday though my sleep is fractured. I walk around lots if if I exercised intensely the previous day. I'm trying to return to work so that I could get my mind off things. I guess I'm just really worried on sleep since I had to retrain my body to sleep at nights, but I work nights.I'm amazed by your story and I hope I be able to heal soon as you did. I really like your positive attitude.
sleep was really rough for about a year and then it got so much better. It will improve but it takes time!
Terence did you get thur it
@AngiePeacockMSW thank you for this statement. Insomnia is one of the big issues for me now at 15 months out....❤❤❤
u speak well n truthful, i have "funky eyes" too but its more antiety issues with me or "psychoosis"
Do you feel joy now?
CONGRATULATIONS!
you rock.food is so important its key!
Will these repeated weird thoughts that come to my mind ever go away? During my taper, the feeling of unreality, dpdr was severe and constant, now when I am 4 months off xanax, the thoughts like, am I real, am I really exist, is my mind working properly etc makes me terribly anxious, nervous and shaky.
I experienced a little window , but these repeated thoughts make my recovery impossible.
Yes yes yes. It’s a very common symptoms that will eventually stop just like the others!
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks for replying. It's really helpful, that they will fade away.
I watch your videos again and again to validate myself.
Now at 15 months off benzos, I get weird thoughts about my reality, my surroundings, my existence etc, my mind questions me that is this your life you are in or seeing around. I am always in a state of confusion and that leads to fear, nervousness and anxiety. I have heavy and foggy head also. There is a feeling of lost and fake existence of myself.
Is this happens at this point of time? Will they ever go away ?
Yes this happens to many and yes it goes away
@AngiePeacockMSW thanks. Your positivity is so hopeful for me 🙏
God bless you -!!!!!!
Did you ever get tingles in your body from different foods.
not really from food but I get other weird stuff from food. I get tingles for no reason all over but I just ignore it now.
So happy for you. 17 months way to go you!! I have been watching testimonials and they scare the crap out of me, but I am in awe of all of you and am so thankful you are sharing your life, I don't want to call it a story because it takes away from the reality of how you all are suffering.
I stopped the video when you mentioned your bladder. I have been waiting, searching quite frankly for someone who had/has bladder problems as a withdrawal effect.
I am in the process just now of getting off Clonazepam 0.5mg, 5 x day. Two and 1/2 years ago something went ding in me bc I knew I had to get out of the horror show called "anti-depressant". I was on 300mg Effexor XR for 12 years, prior to that was when Prozac first came on the market. So let's just say, 17 yrs on and off SSRI's, 13 years solid for clonazepam (my mom died July 20, 2003, from ovarian cancer, 6 months from diagnosis to death, not a lot of time to process. Also, I am a single mom and my son was only 2 and 1/2 at the time - couldn't fall apart so I was prescribed the Clonazepam and Effexor - had been doing fine before, didn't take any drugs while pregnant, nor did I need any until it really sunk in that she wasn't coming back)... okay, so, bladder. When I was a month away from zero Effexor I began to have a problem with frequent urination. My bladder would fill up, I would go, 20 minutes later, my bladder would fill again and I'd have to go. Before I made the connection, though it is not listed in the withdrawal literature, I did urine tests for UTI's - negative, blood tests for diabetes and thyroid - normal. Ultrasound - nothing serious, at least nothing that would indicate why I was urinating so much. Then I went for a CT-scan, again, normal. Have an appointment end of August with a Uro/Gyn though I'm sure he'll find nothing. Also, bladder control meds have zero effect. Because I am menopausal I thought maybe I'd try Estrogen cream, supposed to strengthen the organs in the pelvic floor? (doesn't have the same effect as the oral dose of hormone replacement therapy).
So yeah, it has been since Christmas that my life is revolved around or rather taken place in the bathroom. I have become obsessed trying to figure out how to stop urinating. I can get 3 hours uninterrupted sleep before I start peeing again, my bladder feels all tingly and it is so annoying. What is worse, is that even though I need the sleep? no matter how hard I try to get past 8:00 a.m., I start to panic and have to get up. But get up for what? The slow but steady degradation of my world, how it became smaller, how I couldn't do the simplest of things without going into a panic was not noticed until it became too late, or rather, too late is today.
I want my life back, and there is only one way to get it. Once I do? Then for the first time in my life, I will believe that I am STRONG
Thank you so much.
With your positive attitude, you are going to be just fine. I'm so glad you figured out what was going on with you
Thanks so much for responding, that was very generous of you.
To be honest, I'm not that positive, or maybe I am and don't realize it. I just know in my heart/soul that if I don't do something now then I will be in far worse shape when I am 60 or 70. I cannot imagine nor do I want to be elderly and terrified and have someone else in charge of my care. Quite frankly, I'm scared. When I decided to get off the Effexor I mentioned to my Doctor that I wanted to get off the Clonazepam because it wasn't really working anymore and asked about Ativan (little did I know it wasn't working because I'd built up a tolerance and switching to another benzo was not the solution). That began a snowball effect of him cutting off the C and prescribing not enough Ativan. I spent that summer in his office every two weeks, going back and forth, nope, put me back on C the A isn't working, I can't sleep... then, nope, the C is making me more anxious put me back on A - I was driving him crazy. Had I known then that I was beginning the withdrawal process then I would have carried on and would have been out of the woods today; maybe. I remember that summer, couldn't sleep at all, had suicidal ideation, every horrible thing I could think of regarding how I possibly destroyed my son's life came rushing at me, (I didn't ruin him, I gave him my all but now he's a teenager so in his mind, yeah, I ruined his life) sweating profusely, but then I thought the sweating was menopause. I would have out of body type feelings, could barely speak without stuttering. It was awful. Now, I have to do it all again. One good thing, at least I know what to expect and can prepare my family. My son will be no help simply because he is a teenager and he has better things to do than go pick up groceries from across the street!
And yes, I would love to update you on my progress and hope you will continue to make your videos, you and others give me courage, hope and a place to come where people know you are not making it up, that you/me/others are not crazy.
Stay strong, for you, not for anyone else. It is your life.
I hope to do the same.
Thank you again, Alyssa
Did you ever had breathing problems? After ativan?
i did elizabeth...that was the worst symptom of them all...i felt like i couldnt breath right or hyperventalating all the time
whats benzo buddies
killer leaf www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php
How you doing now ????
How do I stop losing all my hair??? They diagnosed me with chronic telogen effluvium
Depends on what is causing it. Are you on a bunch of meds? Are you tapering?
@@AngiePeacockMSW I'm so sorry. Benzo brain alert! 😭 I've been tapering off benzos after being on them for 26 years, for the last 2 years and 5 months I've been tapering off
@@AngiePeacockMSW they want to keep adding these SSRI AND SSNI and all crap and I won't take them. I refuse
If anyone reads this I want to say I used to wake up and immediately feel so much pain I’d want to be dead but after starting to drink fruit smoothies I can wake up like 80% better idk why but I think it was a lot of bowel problems. I used spinach yogurt and a bunch of frozen fruit it tastes good. Idk the pain and feelings I would get after waking up were so bad I can’t remember what it was like. I was HEAVY into benzos for a five year period also prescribed 4mg Xanax a day for a few years
Angela... Can I ask if you were kindled? I think you said you were multiple times; if not mistaken? If so, do you know the longest time in between benzos?was it months? Were you cold turkeyed off benzos before and then given other meds afterwards not knowing what happened? I'm so sorry for all the questions.... Its just so upsetting when people say if you rapid/ cold turkeyed and then reinstated many months later and never stabilized that you are brain damaged for life...I keep seeing this being said and someone keeps saying that many people that are really bad are hiding the truth from other people so as not to scare them... If you are kindled; meaning many many months off benzos and back on and worse there really is no hope
This makes me want to give up so bad..... I'm constantly crying from seeing posts like this.....I just want to give up; the suffering is too much to bear; I'm completely debilitated because this is what happened to me...You are such an inspiration and I thank you so much for your time.... Bless you always
Yes I said I was kindled. I was on benzos twice before. I was off for a year or so then had some back injections 6 months in a row with versed. I kept waking up screaming and didn't understand why so I stopped the injections. A year later or so I got bad anxiety again. They put me back on benzos. All those years I didn't understand what happened to me because I was always on other meds. I was probably in a constant state of withdrawal for over 13 years either from benzos, anti psychotics or anti depressants.
But MARK---- it doesn't matter. Even I will heal. So will you. Just commit to the process and keep your thoughts focused on healing. It is inevitable. Just takes time.
Mark S this is why I'm scared. The kindled part. Want to talk?
I am very kindled too. Probably worse than anyone.
Did you have tingles when you ate certain food?
Jennifer R I get itchy in my face when I eat wheat.
How you deal with no sleep
Yes you are Super...🌼
Hey Ang, Did you feel like there was a pressure type of weight in your head?? Just kinda sitting in your brain? I have had all the crazy shit symptoms that you mentioned and then some..but the weight pressure thing was torture and it felt like a weight just hovering on one side of my brain was relentless and I can't find it in a google search b/c its so tough to explain ..and then to have the relentless suicidal depression+ akathesia on top OMG..I have since healed..It was very traumatic and my heart hurts for all of you who have to go through this..peace & love
Yes I have it this morning actually and it makes me feel slightly agitated / aggressive / irrational. I hate it. It only happens after bad sleep now. How long did it take you to heal? I had inner akathesia, didn't pace but walked and cleaned and fidgeted a lot for 6 months. I can't wait for this to be over. UGH!!
Could you tell me please how long were you on the benzos before the taper ? Thank you and I wish you the best
6 Years
@Healingfrom Benzos You have your Joe! Who could love you more! He is gorgeous!
sounds like youve come a long way . you should share your story more as it can be inspiration to others going through the benzo hell.
Thank you for your honesty . I had no way other than videos like this to realize what's happening. You are brave and also thank you for your service. I'm hoping to be done with this pharmaceutical bull and there needs to be people like you to help the truth come out. Thank you! I'm inspired to spread the truth.
more voices are needed. Please share yours when and where you feel comfortable.
Pls keep the vids coming
I'd be really interested in a diet video Angie 😁 don't know if you are still doing so.. hope you're doing well - stay safe Sgt of the ppl 👍🏻
Now at 13 months off, when I started feeling that I am improving, as most of my symptoms were less in intensity, but suddenly from two days I felt so horrible, all the dark intrusion thoughts, heavy spinning head, my brain is not connected to environment, blank weird feel, came back severely. I am really scared and doubt about my own reality.
Is this a pattern of the process at this point of time?
As I can recall, two days ago, I went to a crowded place with a stong smell of smoke and drinks. Can this increase our symptoms so bad ?
How are you now?
@@Denise-yr3le.. still very bad.
@@angel_2022M I am so sorry you are still going through this. What are your symptoms?
Can i contact you?
I am 16 months off benzos, but sometimes I feel severe headache especially in the night, very gassy feeling, with shivers, tremors, shaking. Is this common at this point of time? Is this anyway related to the food eaten in the night?
I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm either going to stay on benzos my whole life or there is no other decision I am not going through these withdraws that you guys are all talking about I'm not going through three years of recovery no way I am fine I'm fine q
Cheryl Miller I'm healing and so will you. You get your life back in this process and it makes it all worth it. Not everyone has bad withdrawals like me because they taper. I was cold turkey'd by a doctor. My story is not your story. Everyone is different.
Ang Peabody I've already decided that I'm just going to see undies I'm going to stay on the benzos for the rest of my life because I just need my life will be better with it and I'm like I've been on them for 6 years the same milligram 6mg so I'm just going to stay awesome so I can be normal and not go through the nightmares of withdrawal from benzodiazepines not going to and I only use them to sleep so thank you for all that you do and thank you for sharing your videos I just subscribed you because I really like what you had to say
Thanks Cheryl but remember, we don't know how long the drug will work for us. I thought I was fine until I wasn't and then I had to cold turkey to save my life. Learn from my lesson and don't do that. Also, we never know when a doctor could stop prescribing them. Things are changing with opiates and benzos might be next. PA and NY already changed prescribing guidelines for benzos. People are tapering off so they don't have to be forced off later.
Ang Peabody could my doctor really take me off cold turkey 6mg of Xanax I would get sick I could get very sick hospitalization sick I can't see my doctor doing that to me I don't over take I don't over abuse them and I've been on them for almost 9 years I can't see my life without them
I've seen worse things happen yes. Doctors don't believe these drugs cause withdrawals. It's pretty sick. That's also a pretty high dose which means you might be in tolerance. People taper super slow all the time to try to avoid worse symptoms. Read about that here. www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Good for you for surviving that my doctor also took me off of Xanax cold turkey in about killed me. I’ve been off at 10 years now but I still suffer from symptoms from coming off cold turkey.
What’s left for you? I’m at 8 years off now and still have some things lingering.
im new 2 this hole utube thing so i wish we got a nit. if someone happend to respond
Alright so I could reallly use some hope right now. And please feel free to be completely honest. Before benzos I had very bad social anxiety and even agoraphobia at one point. But, through a lot of hard work and consistently facing the fear of rejection in about a year I turned from shy guy to mr outgoing confident guy. What I've been told is now that once I'm through the withdrawal is that social anxiety and agoraphobia is back and I'll have to re learn how to overcome it all over again? Is that true? I was really hoping getting through withdrawal would be the finish line. Now I feel like the Universe is like "hey, I know you just went through hell...now learn how to overcome cancer." I thought time itself was gonna heal me.
Robert Hazouri no one can tell the future. You just have to get through this and then see what your baseline is. A lot of stuff that I had preexisting does not matter to me anymore after going through this hell. It’s like it gave me a new perspective. I’m sure whatever it is you’ll face will never be as bad as benzo damage.
@@AngiePeacockMSW hopefully month 18 will bring some kind of breakthrough. Seems to be a good month for everybody
Very good video. You are a good girl. Thank you. :)
I am looking at cold turkey from 1mg ativan due to my new psychologist. Ive been on different doses of all benzos for 13yrs. Im scared to say the least. Most ive gone is 7 days with a seizure and concussion. Thank u for ur videos
Oh no. Is there a way to find a new doctor so you can do a sensible taper?
Thank you so much Angela... Truly and sincerely Its frightening as I am still on the drug ( i was off ativan for almost 9 months and then put on kolonopin) and am suffering devastating physical sxs being on it and mental and trying to get off as I can't function on it at allThe kolonopin is compounding the damage the ativan already did....at the time I didnt understand what was happening and that healing was non linear....I wish I could rapid taper cold turkey again because of the severity of my physical and mental sxs ( involuntary movements from head, face to toe; shaking and trembling ; had this from ativan even worse now) that seem partly paradoxical/adverse.....I am barely surviving... I feel this can get much worse if I do and feel trapped... Although I micro cut every chance I can...I feel hopeless and permanently damagedI cry constantly as I don't see anyone like me in that regard
You are helping people so much with your videos and I appreciate you for doing so... Thank you for any sort of hope...
Even the worst cases like you and I heal too. Just get off that damn drug as quickly but safe as you can... Not giving you medical advice, just saying what I had to do. You will heal I promise!
@@AngiePeacockMSW what's your story?
How are you now?
@@tomasalas1122 you're on my YT channel. I have a video from 3 years protracted. Click on my picture to see that update.
Mark S how rr u now
15 months here I'm starting to see a difference least I hope i am
i did carnivore diet helped a lot. you might have luck eating and drinking raw dairy... that has helped me!
Why where you on both
Well, because that’s what they prescribed me. In hindsight I had built tolerance and both stopped working but because I wasn’t addicted to them, and didn’t raise my dose, it damaged my nervous system from taking them too long. I wish someone would have warned me.
Going cold turkey is so dangerous though. Be careful because everyone is different.
I can totally relate to your "bizarre random thoughts" problem. I'm sorry we have to go through that. We are all miracles. I like that. I'm JUST starting to taper off of 3 x 2mg Klonopin for the last 10 years. I'm concerned.
have you found the benzo buddies forum or the FB support groups? MUST TAPER SMART!
@@AngiePeacockMSW I did but I lost it but thank you for the original title now I can find it
@@chekprac1 www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php
I meant ask you did you have neurological symptoms?
i believe all my symptoms are neurological. What exactly do mean? I have serious perceptual distortions, dizziness, vision problems still now and that's all neurological.
Healingfrom Benzos buzzing brain, head pressure, I think you said you had akathesia too. When did your fatigue finally go away?
fatigue was here until probably month 14. I still get it every once in awhile. I had head pressure the first 6-8 months then just every now and then. Inner akathesia until month 6 but I still rock back and forth when made to stand still. It really sounds worse than it is because I'm pretty much back to being functional now, just have these symptoms mildly now. It's not too bad at all.
I’m now 10 3/4 months off... I had some signs of improvement at month 7 until I got a 🤬 epidural... they gave me Propofol and Steroid in C6...
Since then my life is horrible. Worse than before.
Weird .. I got the same visual things too...
Can’t go shopping at all again
IDK... I’m hopeless... losing connections to anything I love
I get derealization too... and over thinking
Hate this Satan drug...
can’t function, can’t work...
I don’t even want to eat
I feel the terror!
Hey Angela! Did you notice any hormonal issues, like your period just disappearing or becoming irregular? Sorry if too personal!
Nothing is too personal. I got my period every 2 weeks the first 2 months off then it returned to normal but all my symptoms would get worse around a week before my period. The progesterone drop causes that. My period has also shortened from 5 days to 4 days. I have faith all this will normalize as I heal.
Hi, I am experiencing very strange and intense symptoms from the last 3 days, that I never heard about from anyone. I am feeling episodes of not recognising or knowing well my place, my family members, my wise mind is in total confusion.
Today I felt like I have no brain ( my rational mind) at all.
I am 6 months off xanax. It's very scary, like I am no where, no brain, total confusion, faded glimpses of place, people around. Why do I feel this way?
Please help
Did you try any other supplements or medications or alcohol recently?
@@AngiePeacockMSW no, I have not taken any supplement or vitamins from the last one year. And I have never had alcohol in my life..
I am really scared about these new horrific symptoms from the last week. My rational mind is in total confusion, a severe floating, hypnotized type of feel, with intense heat at back of my head. I feel dizzy, walking like I'm about to fall down and have no confidence over my mind.
Please help, I never felt these ever before. As I can recall, my stress levels were really high last week due to some family issues.
@@ranim7618Hopefully you are doing better now. Your symptoms are very relevant to benzo/ssri withdrawal. The feeling of being "disconnected" from reality is a typical side effect. Hang in there , it takes time. You can do this!
@@susanmorgan4151I am a little better now, but still very damaged and symptomatic. As I am a year off xanax now, I feel myself stuck in this frightening journey.
How are you doing now? How long have you been off now? and how long have you taken the SSRI/ benzos?
It's true like I've never I've always experienced anxiety my whole life but it's never been this horrific and just to be comfortable would be amazing in my own body mind heart soul and spirit to feel comfortable with my son and just be comfortable. I'm so uncomfortable it's like being crippled inside best, way I can describe it. So please Jesus Christ God our heavenly father and higher power and he greatest healer Jesus Christ God please heal us and make us reborn without dying here on Earth and he lost phone completely and bring peace over us without anything happening that we did know what you know what I would not want but if we pray about it or not and please and thank you Jesus Christ God Amen❤️🙏❤️🙏
I ate yesterday sugar and make my symptoms terrible and I had also like mini seizure and I Didn’t sleep
Hello again ? Does your symptoms ramp up if you eat any thing with sugar? Thanks
Yes absolutely. I’m at 10 months zero sugar and on keto diet. It has helped me so much.
how was your skin did you break out?
Yes big cystic acne, boils and a rash that looked like broken blood vessels.
Did you experienced worsening of withdrawal before the period under the period and after the period ??
Yes always worse 7-10 days before period. The dip in progesterone is what causes it.
I’m feeling extremely shoulder and neck pain for 6 months now :( the numbness has gone away but still limited mobility in my arm :( I’m almost 17 months completely off ssri and Ativan for 15years , will the pain go away I hope it’s not permanent 😢
Do you have frozen shoulder? Sometimes that can occur in withdrawal for women. No it’s not permanent if it came from withdrawal.
i had seen shadows of people near my windows amd would turn mi head 2 look eventualy i stopped looking, i came off 3 2 mg bars of zs for 10 yrs, complete hell! im on wk 2
sorry about the tremmors and misspells
Question: Why were you taking benzos in such a high dosage? 2 or 3 mg of Ativan a day? That's insane. If I take 1 mg I don't want to see it for another two weeks. I take benzos on occasion, and as a result will watch some of these youtube vids of patients describing their withdrawal trial and tribulations for comparison purposes, or to see where I'm at in this game. I use it more as a psychological crutch, or as a path of least resistance option when my work gets tough and unbearable.
Good for you. I was listening to my doctor. Don't be like me.
Fair enough, but didn't you feel like crap when you took them consecutively for days or a week? If I take them two or three days in a row, I feel like $hit. Plus the rebound anxiety only makes me want to avoid them.
I felt nothing and had no idea they were any different than prozac. I have a degree in psychology and benzo withdrawal was never mentioned. My doctor and multiple therapists never said anything like this would happen.
When I was in college many years ago, my physician prescribed prazepam (Centrax) in order to deal with stress and insomnia because of my course workload. He only gave me a 30 day script, and this was back in the 80's...no refills. He warned me about possible withdrawal effects.
I agree my psychosis sx was very hard to fight, I have no support family and friends judged about wd not understanding what is was like on benzodiazepines taken exactly as my Dr prescribed. I'm now homeless bc noone believes this is real bc Dr dont know about it.. Anyone in Florida or close please reach out i just need someone who understand and believe.
are you healed
Ty green not yet. I have a 27 months off update
Healingfrom Benzos OK thanks I have been off librium for about 2months and 12days.took them for 8months I have OK days and terrible days I hope I heal soon this is torture can't believe a pill I got prescribed has changed my life and a bad way and there's not help or rehab for this iam so confused.