Stephanie Buttermore Has Done Something BIG!
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- A lot of people have questioned Stephanie Buttermore's approach to eating for a while now and she has recently released a video in which she discusses the mistakes she made with her journey over recent times ('All In', etc), even delving into the realm of mental health. Admitting mistakes is a big move that takes a lot of courage and bravery, which I respect. Here are my thoughts...
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below :)
0:00 Introduction
1:21 TW
3:15 The Back Story
3:49 Pretending We're Fine
5:02 Comments About The Body
7:02 Our Responsibility
8:06 Therapy
11:15 Medication
13:43 Societal and Cultural Expectations
15:15 Social Comparisons
16:43 Scale Weight
17:39 Food Guilt
19:00 Stephanie and the ED/Recovery Community
20:16 Conclusion
21:19 Comment Question of the Week
22:38 Outro
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Stephanie Buttermore Has Done Something BIG!
#TeamForNeverLean #Fitness #StephanieButtermore
Why do you feel Stephanie's 'All In' content reached the ED/ED Recovery community?
I think they are a product of an environment that's been built in the fitness community over the past decade. Her fears are valid and I hope her vulnerability brings even more change. Whether that be a more empathetic audience and response to creators, or a willingness to have the conversations.
When I watched Steph's original video, my first thought was that it was not her "All In" content that drew in an ED audience. She seems reluctant to address the previous "cheat day" videos, which almost certainly drew ED audience members in to her channel. I know she personally felt she was never binging during those days, and I hope that is true. However, she is being naive not to recognize that one of the consequences of being underweight/malnourished is obsessive thoughts around food, including food-related content, watching others eat, looking up recipes online. etc. Her cheat day videos are total ED fodder, I have to wonder if she really doesn't realize that all of her content, even prior to "all in" would most likely have affected/reached those with disorders.
@@sarahroberts9525 This. People struggling with diet issues, or actual ED's, seek validation for their suffering, so they can keep going. It's a vicious cycle.
I don't have an ED, but I do have problems with food. Not because of influencers, but it's been a related topic in my viewing regarding training, weight loss, or dietary guidance.
@@sarahroberts9525 10000%
i think because seeing stephanie, a person with a huge platform, choose to gain weight without having been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder or told that she has to by anyone else probably inspired/reassured people in the ED/recovery community? or seeing the whole 'set point' thing play out gave them reassurance too
I think it’s entirely possible that her all in journey has reached so many people in the ED recovery community because the eating/exercise habits that she was engaging in that brought her to all in may have been disordered without her even realizing it at the time or even now.
Agreed!
As someone who had an eating disorder that looked externally quite similar to her behaviours I suspected it was very disordered
I do wonder if she still doesn't see it as disordered eating and that is why she can't find a good therapist, or doesn't like what the therapists have to say.
Isn’t it obvious from her videos that she is fully aware? Are we watching the same videos? 🙈
@@hanelno 😂😂😂 right. She's alluded to it so many times. Unfortunately most fitness influencers don't come out completely about EDs. It's not good for marketability.
I remember doing cardio every day for 4 hours, eating 600 calories, and feeling fat and ugly if I ate 900 calories that day instead. And yes, I also was struggling with depression. Whereas now, I train to build muscle, I happily eat 3000+ kcals a day and feel good about eating food. The more I eat, the more I grow is my motto. It took me one year, but I completely changed mentally. I am done with my depression treatment, exercise isn't my enemy anymore but my friend. Of course, there are days I struggle, but knowing where I come from, I'm a happy bean.
It makes me happy to hear that you're happy! :)
I am so happy for you. It's lovely to see others experience such great success. It gives me the confidence to keep going. It's a wild journey and I think I am finally on the other side... It's the mental struggle that is the biggest hurdle. The body becomes the distraction for me-- the thing that can (more easily) be fixed. I have learned to/how to refocus when I hit a depression as to not just fall back on self-body shaming. It seems we have similar stories.
@@AllisonMariePhD I’m glad your mental state is getting better and you’re so aware of what you’re doing. Keep going, reward yourself, it’ll get easier, I promise! (:
@@ilse7240 that’s the plan 🙂
This is such a beautiful story. YOU DID THAT, GIRL!
I have a history of ED struggles (currently recovered and intuitively eating) and I was attracted to Stephanie's journey because she seemed totally impervious to the societal fear of weight gain. To see someone happily pursue intuitive eating and weight gain was like finding a beautiful unicorn. Definitely a hero figure to me. But it did seem too good to be true, and this latest vid feels more honest. Turns out, she is no different than any of us who have struggled fighting for happiness and recovery in this crazy world, and that's ok with me. We're all just doing our best. ❤️
I'm proud of you, Britt
I agree with this comment!
I could never ever have done all-in when I was recovering, partly because of all of the physical side effects I was experiencing during refeeding, which were often very painful because of how much damage I had done previously. But also because it just wasn't affordable for me: I didn't have enough money to be eating as much as I wanted in a day. I could just about eat enough to slowly put on weight and it took me about 2 years to be weight restore. Might be controversial, not a criticism of anyone but I think there is a lot of privilege in being able to recover at all: having access to therapy, being able to have enough food to be able to put on weight, having access to help. It's sad that one of my motivations now to remain at a stable weight is knowing that I can't afford how much money I would have to pump into recovering, should I relapse.
You are absolutely right! I also found it hard to recover while still having to restrict food due to budget constraints. If I buy cashews, I will eat the entire bag of cashews since I don't get to eat them that often. My binges result from restriction and it doesn't matter if the restrictions are due to failure of weight gain or budget limitations.
@@RoastedSaltedPeanut Ouch, that's very relatable. I self-impose budget limitations from having had a lot of health set-backs my whole life, so I'm always trying to 'safe for a rainy day' and had rainy days. And it does lead to binging when the opportunity arrises, as well as getting bored with the same, budget-friendly, goods over and over, leading me to be tempted to just not eat. (Or skip a few meals and afford a 'better' one.) I'm in a good position in life now, so I hope this fear eventually goes away.
Is it just me? Starting to have a slight crush on Harry.
same literally
You are too kind ❤️
Same - I feel like a creep lol
Right?! Where do these men exist in the real world? 😅
Same 🤷🏻♀️
as a member of the eating disorder recovery community
the answer to your question is I think a lot of people in ed recovery focused on stephanies journey because it was an example of hunger levels, satisfying mental hunger and set point weight and overshoot and recomposition of body mass
I very much appreciate your answer, thank you!
Ok
I I no mloll m
I appreciate the cultural shift that's happening. I sound like a broken record and I know Greg fans will still have their opinions but the way Greg treated Stephanie during her journey was uncalled for. He removed much of that content which I'm glad but it really soured my taste for him. I think the hate comments are awful for what they are from random users. But commentary channels use to bring such a mean-spirited atmosphere that turned more condescending than helpful. I'm sure this is why Harry is such a fresh breath of air. We need to continue to breed conversation and empathy.
I too have seen this! There was often a lot of drama/negativity associated with commentary channels for comedic purposes, which I don't agree with as it's not helping anybody. Thank you for being so supportive
Greg? Lol new to the fitness influencer scene.
@@lilpriestess I’d guess OP is referring to Doucette?
@@lilpriestess Hey, so a quick rundown. Stephanie Buttermore, the focus of the video, was going through her "All-In" Journey, and during that time, there were many fitness commentary channels saying that what she was doing was only going to lead to uncontrollable weight gain, and a really prominent figure in the Fitness community, Greg Doucette, made a video on her in which he associated her eating with "a pig." Obviously, this is never called for, but it also doesn't help that she was presenting the science she used to come to her conclusion, which seems to have worked for her. Hope this helps!
He called her a pig, not directly but we all knew what he was doing. It’s like Greg separates himself with other successful people that have the same privileges he has, which immediately means he can demean them and treat them as less than because they should be able to handle it. It’s still bullying tho, and obviously something that works purely for entertainment and doesn’t help anyone improve. Like calling fat people lazy and ugly.
Honestly, apart from the amazing fitness advice, with every video you post I learn more and more about sensitive speech and how to have a respectful conversation.
Thank you, Lisa
Well said! The kind/patient ways in which Harry has spoken about certain influencers who infuriate me has actually helped in seeing both sides
@@chloep4500 Same for me! 🤗
You're incredible for coming so often with videos that are so well thought. I feel like you express no judgement, but only compassion and kindness as you explore other people's experience. Thank you, it's really nice of you to talk about these difficult subjects.
Hey Harry:) I just felt the need to thank you for your content - I’m watching your videos for about a year now and I do have to say you’re kind of a comfort UA-camr for me. You’re Videos really helped me ignoring those unhealthy thoughts in my head while I started my workout journey again. Thank you so much for your videos & being so open and positive - it really helped me mentally & helped me looking at the progress I make & not only on how much weight I lost 🥰❤️
I am so so happy I found your channel. Thank you for doing what you do, and coming from such a place of empathy and understanding.
I feel like I'm getting a warm fuzzy bear hug watching your videos. So helpful and insightful and you always make me feel better. Thanks Harry ❤️🥰
I could write a long comment about this - and maybe next time I will - but I just wanna say that you’re an amazing person and this channel gives me (and I’m sure many others) such a great feeling of comfort and safety❤️ hope you’re doing well Harry and thank you so much for all your openness and effort x
I think Stephanie’s journey is still in the grips of ED type behaviours and thought patterns - and I don’t know if anyone who’s been through it ever really leaves it behind. I think bikini competitions or whatever they’re called are something nobody could get into and out of without changing their relationship to food and exercise and their body forever. It’s my understanding that cycling your weight just once or twice to any significant degree changes your body’s treatment of input and expenditure, which will just cause even more anxiety when doing the same thing you did last time fails to yield the same response .
I've been watching your videos for quite some time now and you truly are so thoughtful in the way you approach these topics. As someone who is currently in recovery, I try to steer clear of a lot of these conversations, but you have really fostered such a comforting environment that makes me feel like I can take part in these conversations without getting triggered.
With that being said, I feel like Stephanie’s video reached the ED/ED recovery community because EDs thrive on the concept of mind over body (like the body is a foreign creature that will eat everything in sight and needs to be controlled) this idea of mind over body creates a false illusion in our culture that being lean is "better" because people assume there is more "self-control" involved and gaining weight is oftentimes seen as a lack of "self-control." Stephanie's journey challenged that constraint (that listening to the needs of the body is okay and actually healthy), her journey documented what happens when you give yourself permission to listen to your body and honor its requests. Stephanie's journey is very similar, in terms of mentality when in recovery. You have to let go of what you previously thought was healthy, and you have to go against a culture that tells you (and is consistently promoting) the complete opposite
Love you, Harry! Thank you for making these videos. So many of us need to hear this in the fitness/wellness community & thank you for doing it in a healthy and constructive way. Truly appreciate you! 🙏🙏🙏
I love how open and kind you are. I think your POV at life, mental health and working out is so amazing. I try to incorporate your mantras in my everyday life!
Awesome video Harry. I appreciate your kindness and compassion towards the people you cover in your videos as well as for your audience. ❤️
I’m not making the following comment specifically to Harry or Stephanie but from my own experience with therapy. When you first start therapy you don’t feel good. You feel worse. It’s a lot of hard work to dig and to find your core issues, face your trauma, implement healthy coping mechanisms and work on rebuilding yourself. It’s hard work. And it also can be hard to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. I think there may be this ideal out there of what therapy is and it can shock people when they find out it’s not all overly positive pats on the back and quick fixes. I truely hope Stephanie does find a way to work on trying to get to the core issues of her disordered eating and anxiety in conjunction with medication. In my opinion, she does suffer from disordered eating.
I agree it’s hard work. Therapy is not easy 😔
Oooo I've been waiting for this video. Can't wait to hear your thoughts.
As someone who has studied psychology and has experienced years of (mostly failed) therapy as a patient myself, I also feel like there's some missing aspects to the convo surrounding therapy. I find it interesting that she changed therapist three times in the span of a few weeks or months because "they were making her feel so much worse". Many times, you'll feel a lot worse before you start to feel better and part of the challenge of therapy (as with many other medical treatments that cause pain) is to endure those feelings. Many people with anxiety (myself included) struggle a lot with feeling their feelings and being Ok with them; we resort to i.e. drugs, or excessive exercising, or EDs that help with numbing us down at least for a while. It's great that Stephanie has found relief in medication and I'm all for medication if it helps! But discarding therapy because it makes you "feel worse" can be a slippery slope. I know that there are *many* therapists out there that are not great and it can take years to find one that clicks with you (been there done that), but part of going into therapy involves being aware that you'll be poking at things that can make you hurt immensely, but that it'll be worth it in the end.
Exactly what I was thinking. Therapy is not always an easy or enjoyable process, sometimes there is a lot of trauma to unpack or other personal situations that won't make it a walk in the park.
That might be true but we don't know if it's applicable to her experience. Only Stephanie knows why she was uncomfortable with those therapists. Also, considering that negative outcomes from therapy aren't uncommon, I don't see a problem with her finding a therapist that worked for her.
I have an experience of having bad therapists who would talk down on me or be insensitive when speaking to me, so I kind of understand her though. Therapy can and should feel bad, but a therapist should be a good and kind one for the therapy to work.
"I find it interesting that she changed therapists three times in the span of a few weeks or months." She's been a caregiver to a very needy mother who has a lot of mental and physical problems. She's obviously been forced to prematurely take on caregiving responsibilities most likely even at a much younger age. Sometimes finding the right therapist is about just having a supportive, nurturing surrogate parent to help one deal with the present trauma one is forced to deal with. Not necessarily needing to immediately dive into past traumas. IMO she's adjusting to her responsibilities better than ever as she's starting to balance her ED and IE challenges while making life changing adjustments with her mother, sister and longtime boyfriend.
@@sugarsweet8598 they actually have a person that’s the actual caregiver and her mom is not even home that much. She is doing it for the camera only
Therapy, affirmations, friends, and a routine helped me a lot!!! What I realized is that people on social media are not as transparent and are not willing to share their failures with us! That is why i love your channel so much because you want people to put their mental, physical, emotional health first! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is great! Thank you so much, Becky
@@TFNL ❤️❤️!! No thank you!!!
Stephanie’s videos have helped me in my long recovery journey. Ive dealt with ED for years
As a MH nurse/mum/SU just wanted to applaud your consistent disclaimers. Always really genuine and relatable ☺️
I love Stephanie tbh. People are *so* harsh on her, and the comments under her videos are always lowkey traumatising. She just being candid and we really need more of that in the fitness space tbh.
I appreciated her video a lot!
I always look forward to the days you upload! I appreciate your consistency and good quality content🔥💕
Thank you! :)
Hello! As someone who struggled (and still does) with disordered eating, I actually found my way to Stephanie's channel during her huge cheat days where she ate nearly, 10kcal in a day. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was pretty much starving myself at the time, and getting to watch Stephanie eat all that food was how I think I coped with not getting to eat the food myself - I got to live and enjoy food through someone else. Not to mention, my habits on my allotted cheat days at the time (aka binge days lol) were seriously inspired by Stephanie's - but the main difference was that Stephanie typically stopped when she was full, and I could only stop when I felt physically sick with myself. So I had already been occasionally watching her channel when she began her all-in journey, and I continued watching her journey because I was curious, and also because I was so surprised at her bravery for attempting something like an all-in diet, especially since I was still massively restricting at the time. I think a big reason Sephanie's content has reached the ED/ED Recovery community was because they had already been there from her previous content! It's interesting to think about though!
As a previous fan of Stephanie's and as someone with a history of an eating disorder (recovered for almost 10 years this summer!) I would LOVE to hear a sit-down chat with Stephanie since I definitely think her previous relationship with food and exercise was likely disordered. The "extreme hunger" she always talked about resonated so much with me as I felt the same from years of deprivation. I'd love to hear the extent to which the current influencer culture encourages that sort of... extreme discipline, unwavering exercise regiments, and eating so minimally except for the few "cheat days" where substantially more food than one would consider "normal" is eaten, mostly consumed for content. I watched her for those cheat days, wondering if perhaps the idea of an eating disorder was not even considered since those cheat days existed? I'm rambling, but that conversation would be fascinating.
That's amazing progress and I'm proud of you! I too would love that conversation but I can't see Stephanie being keen, sadly
Wow congratulations. Hopw i can talk to you mpre about your recovery. I should say i am 80% recovered because i still get little B&P once in a while evry month 😒
On her last video, Stephanie said she thinks she didn't have ED during her cheat day times, cause she would normally reach a full satiety after eating a lot during the day, which is different with people with ED who never reach that certain point. That's how she put it anyways, and I kinda believe her cause she has such a different journey than many other people.
People dont realize how much comments can hurt. I am not usually one to let others words or opinions get to me but a few years ago a younger girl asked if I was pregnant. It ruined my day. Especially since at the time I was working out 5 days a week. I was getting in better shape but my stomach was a problem area. I felt good about myself but that one comment knocked me down. Id like to think Ive grown emotionally/mentally since then but I also never wear form fitting shirts. I am all about the big overflowing shirts now even though I am smaller than I was then. Thank you for your amazing content and genuine kindness and thoughtful insight as always.
I love your comments about therapy. I find them to fairly accurate in my person opinion: thank you for sharing!
Video Notes:
I won’t ramble on this video, I know you will be getting lots of comments on this video. I still struggle with feeling like a burden for reaching out for help or even acknowledging I'm not okay, which you’ve experienced firsthand from me, though you’ve always done a good job of reassuring and encouraging me. You sharing your own experience again with mental health and therapy/medication is very powerful, and I and the rest of your audience will always appreciate your vulnerability and strength in doing so. Your perspectives on mental health I always find to be your most valuable videos, so thank you always for the work you do.
Much love, bro!
Agreed! All the best Austin🔥
I LIKE THE RAMBLES!
YOU TWO ARE SO GOOD TO EACH OTHER!
The Bromance is on fire! 😝
Wise advice on therapy and meds. 👍👍 Hat vibes really on fire this week!
Thank you :)
I live in a small country and went to what was supposedly the best therapist here. It was terrible. I told him I wasn't religious and every tool or help he gave me was religion based. It took me back years to when I felt inadequate living in a Baptist pastor parent house and not being able to catch the holy ghost or have any type of faith in a Christian God. I started rebattling those issues again instead of the ones I actually came to therapy to deal with. Finally I reached out to a free therapy service and found an amazing therapist that put me at such ease and within the very FIRST session helped me to address and gain understanding of the issue I needed help with. It was such an eye opener that yea therapy can actually be harmful and that with the right therapist it can be miraculous. I remember crying with joy after my first session with the really good therapist.
As a person with a restrictive eating disorder, I think Stephanie's all in journey reached me initially because it was a video about health and I'm obsessed with anything revolving around that subject. However, I grew to love it because the journey made me feel safe. She made it seem so... Okay to gain weight and to just eat intuitively.
Your such a good person thanks for the sensitivity around unhealthy relationship with exercise and food I really love your videos
It’s such a complex topic. No two people are going to have the exact same experiences or journeys through battling with food/body image/mental health. Stephanie’s journey helped me and affirmed for me that finding what worked for me was what was most important. This requires having really clear objectives and metrics in mind. You need to know where you are and where you hope to arrive. For me, my hunger cues were buggered, my cravings were intrusive, my relationship with food was messy, and I wasn’t clear on what approach to exercise I wanted to take. For whatever reason, intermittent fasting just resonated with me and so that was where I began. It totally reset my hunger cues and within about a year, I no longer had intrusive cravings and I was able to eat intuitively (I was strict about IF for about a year but now I do not stick to a rigid eating window, I eat when I need to and as much as I need to for as long as I need to). I did have some lingering food guilt issues and Stephanie’s all in journey (along with Natascha Oceane’s content) helped me to relax. I ended up buying all the “forbidden foods” and keeping them stocked in my house at all times and gave myself permission to eat as much as I wanted for as long as I wanted and NO HIDING IT! That was very important for me. After about 6 month or so, that feeling of scarcity and insecurity that was wrapped up with my food issues just …. dissipated. Now I can go months without even thinking about those foods and I never pass up a craving when they come. Anyhow, lots of people would have serious critique or issue with my approach and that’s fine, I respect that. But it worked for ME. And that gave me a ton of confidence that I can trust myself to know what’s best for me and that has resulted in a lot more peace and confidence in every aspect of my life.
When I went through my ED multiple times (usually me not eating due to anxiety), people saying things like “you need to eat more” “you’re too skinny” would only motivate me to continue doing what I was doing
Mostly recovered from an ed, and for me, I was interested to see someone else's journey that seemed - at first - it might be parallel to my own struggles and might help my own outlook. Went from anorexia, to orthorexia, to binging. And gained a lot of weight which I've maintained since. But I still struggle with body image issues at my higher weight. I saw the red flag when she spent so much of one video upset with her larger body. The next video showed her suddenly smaller and much happier and proclaiming all in worked. I'm paraphrasing but those seemed to be the two main points. Her reaction didnt match her earlier words - that she would be resolved whether or not her set weight was higher than she anticipated. It just reasserted some self doubts and fears I was already struggling with, that a lot of people suffering with eds fear, that recovery is not worth it or successful if you have to live in a larger body. Which is wrong - recovery is worth it. I realized a little too late that series was not helpful to my recovery journey (and also of course, not to rely too much on social media for my own catharsis.) And am not at all surprised by her opening up about her issues now. I hope she finds the help she needs.
Can we just appreciate how much of an amazing human you are Harry
Thank you!
I think she probably reached a lot of people in the ED community. When I struggled with binge eating it's kind of what I did to get rid of it that and a lot of therapy. I just stopped having rules about food and ate whatever I wanted and how much I wanted for about 3 months and that worked wonders for me. In my opinion she was recovering from disorderd eating herself through her all in journey so it only makes sense she would reach those people
Her journey was a huge part of my recovery. I adore her and her bf. Her honesty and vulnerability is refreshing.
love the video and the thoughtful comments. I just wanted to add to the commenting on the body part of the discussion, that in my opinion, it is almost never acceptable to ask people whether they are pregnant or not. I they want you to know they will tell you, if not it isn't any of your business. You never know what is going on in someones life, maybe they can't conceive, maybe they had a miscarriage, maybe they dont't want to have children and had bad experiences talking about that , ...
Sorry went on a bit of a rant just thought it was important to add.
I agree!
I watched Steph before her all in journey while I had an eating disorder. We were actually “recovering” around the same time. I think many people with EDs already watched her (especially for her massive binge videos and shredded physique). However, I also believe that the backlash she received with gave her more publicity helped to reach a bigger audience as well as her body positivity and recovery process very similar to that of an ED inpatient
Personally for me I struggled with a binge eating disorder for a long time. Her content still helped and taught me how to get better even though for her it was the lack of eating. A bad habit I had was eating very minimally until I was tired and ate up the whole kitchen. Watching her helped me eat more of healthier foods so I wasn't so hungry later on, as well as focusing on the performance/effort of my workouts than constantly looking at the calories I was burning. I've lost 40 pounds over the year of 2020, but I moved to college last September which I gained about 10 pounds back. However, my weight as stabilized since even without going to the gym everyday since then and I'm making an effort to do more exercise which I didn't do much when I was focusing on school.
I think therapists can be good for one and bad for the other, disregarding their qualities in general. My sister went to a therapist that was very popular around here and she might have a whole lot of difficulties in her life (that's why she was seeking help obviously) and that woman said to her "well, that really is a lot of things going wrong in your life, I'm surprised you haven't comitted suicide yet". That just leaves me speechless.
Loved listening to your thoughts on this, as usual. Keep those videos coming, Harry! 👍
Yesssssss I’m hereeeee❤️❤️❤️
HI!
the thing about therapy, is that it probably won’t click right away. wounds from the past that you haven’t dealt with can feel super vulnerable and painful when you start working towards healing them. however, therapy should never make you go to a place where your mind feels like it’s back in that situation or where you feel emotionally unsafe. the RPE scale and thinking about not maxing out all the time actually is a good thing to think about with how therapy might feel!
also, every therapist has a different approach. i’d suggest looking for a therapist who specializes in brief CBT or brief solutions-focused therapy if you’re not looking to dig deep in the past and instead just want to work on a specific problem in your life and maybe understand yourself and how to take care of yourself a bit better.
signed, a therapist who’s been in therapy myself for many years and who had to try 6 different therapists to find one who worked for me. :-)
I had the same experience with mental health medication and it's so refreshing to hear this from someone else. I'm always afraid to talk about the dangers of medication because people tend to assume I'm one of those people who think taking medication is cheating or something. That's not why. It's because medication can be incredibly dangerous for people, often making symptoms worse long term (something psychiatrists never seem to talk about), and it doesn't address the root issue. Everybody thinks they are chemically imbalanced when the truth is they probably have something in their lives that is creating symptoms that look like mental illness. I was convinced for most of my life that I was chemically imbalanced. I'm not. I was depressed for good reason, it just took me some time to realize that. Medication only delayed that discovery.
I agree. I was always against medication bc of seeing my mother who was a nurse swear by them for any and everything and self medicating, basically. The one time I agreed to take them for mental health (anti depressors), I started to have actual suicidal thoughts which I never did before. Quit them right away.
Then again, I now now that mental issues are really spiritual. depression is a spirit, so is addiction etc. and the answer is deliverance. Psychiatry is there to explain this away and "treat" something that stems from something else entirely (there can be generational curses etc). Not to mention teaches to "integrate" trauma or "multiple personalities" alters which are literal demons. And I won't mention shock therapy that is literal psychological and physical torture still practiced nowadays and that people call "treatment". I have seen patients who underwent them and it is a crime against humanity pure qnd simple.
I had severe body image issues, but after dealing with the death of my dad, my mum getting sick, my life and mental health spiraling, i realized life was too fucking short to care about how i looked whether physically, or material like how rich i was, instead I'm starting to choose to live how i want to and how my decisions really make me feel. Not everyday is perfect, but when you start living based on how you feel and doing things that make you feel like an absolute beast mentally, life truly starts to feel amazing.
Harry! First of all, I love your videos and share with all my trainer friends. I love that you spread knowledge while staying positive and never putting anyone down. I have a comment question, please help: how can I feel better ab engagement with overactive hip flexors. In abdominal exercises but also in everything. My abdominals seem under developed because my hip flexors always wanna run run the show. Any advice here? Thanks in advance!
Stephanie helped me because she made me realize that my obsession with food is not something that I alone struggle with. Especially my seemingly insatiable appetite for someone my size. I used to think I must have a tapeworm! Lol she made me realize this is normal for some of us.
The meds have helped my spouse, but it has taken a brain stimulation treatment for everything to really work amazingly for him. There are many routes to help depression and anxiety. I just really wish that a lot of people wouldn't demonize some people for their use of meds, holistic approaches, and brain stimulation treatments.
I completely agree! They didn't work for me but they can certainly help many which I respect :)
Stephen has trie to cover her ED with all in for years I’m
Happy she’s growing and progressing in being happy and understanding go all in doesn’t have to be to that extent
"I'm sure [comments about being pregnant] wasn't meant to be negative..."
You give people on the internet WAY too much credit, Harry.
The fuel in a car destination analogy was very useful. Thank you
I truly resignated with your comments about therapy. I've been seeing a therapist for quite some time and tried multiple therapists, some being really impactful and some were so heavily focused on homework that I wasn't able to build a rapport. I currently see an amazing therapist who has motivated me to start studying nursing so I can become a Mental Health Nurse. I truly love your content and will be a lifelong fan.
I went through what Stephanie went. I didn't call it "all in" but yeah, I started to eat until I was so full nearly hurting. First period was so difficult, I felt miserable and I my hunger was always so uncontrollable. Now, months after, I feel again satiated without stuffing myself with huge big fatty meals. It was a long journey tho and I still struggle sometimes.
So proud of you for doing it! It's also totally normal to struggle or relapse, so please don't beat yourself up in case it happens x
Edit: I hope this doesn't seem weird coming from an internet stranger ^^'
@@nussscheife hahaha not weird at all! Thank you 💗
I may be wrong about this, but I do have a theory as to why her all in journey reached others with experiences of ED, and it may be because the “disordered” thought pattern is a lot more of a natural or reasonable response to the process of loosing weight than is often given credit for. Outside of the more problematic issues in the fitness world that are easy to find within a few minutes of scrolling tiktok, I think that any prolonged caloric deficit (particularly more drastic ones) have a strong tendency to affect our cognitions and increase anxiety, add to this the overload of information available on the internet on the ‘correct’ way to loose weight and the lack of fundamental frameworks most people have to attach this incoming information to, and I can completely understand why a ‘disordered’ sense of control is activated to allow ourselves to ‘function’ during this process...and a sense of control is kinda what underpins an ED....Basically I think that the mental health component of this process is critical from start to finish and if we’re not supporting it/ being supported, then there is a higher likelihood of developing this kind of thinking than there is avoiding it. As with most journey we undertake in life, I’m definitely not saying to avoid the journey to preserve a sense of mental health, more saying that there are healthy ways to engage with these processes that are worth our time and investment 😊🌸😊
Haha my favorite hat so far. I’ll finish the video now
Haha, glad you like it :)
It takes time to find a good therapist especially one that understands you and is willing to help. Stephanie needs to show herself more grace. I think her "all in" journey seemed like an intense journey. I could never do something like that. I've been on my weight loss journey for a few years and I am taking my time with it. I commend Stephanie for being bold and vulnerable enough to document her journey and admit her wrongs and what she learned. My takeaway from her channel is its important no matter what journey a person is on, it is YOUR journey and you do what's best for YOU (appropriately)!
The times I stop weighing myself or tracking calories are when I fall out of eating right and exercising. I don't know why. I've struggled for 30 yrs with EDs. I've gotten better and worse many times. When I'm "better" I'm just fat imo even though everyone tells me I look much better and looked underweight when I thought I was at a healthy weight. Including my Dr. Unfortunately I'm not in a place where I can afford help and need it the most lately. I put on weight with my kids home during remote learning and fell out of my habits little by little until I wasn't exercising anymore and eating only junk. I put on a ton of weight and now obsessed with losing it to the point I see my anorexia returning. Lost 20 lbs in 5 weeks and everyday I struggle more and more to make myself eat and never eat the amount I should.
My problem is once I start losing weight I never feel like I've lost enough. I just don't know how much I should weigh.
I've been binge watching fitness videos lately (which realizing maybe I should lay off them a little) and came across greg doucette and there's a couple of his videos I think triggered it more..... one where he was calling this Stephanie lady obese and another slender girl (something Walnuts) obese. I know it might be a medical term being over a certain bodyfat percentage but hearing what appears to be skinny women called obese really effed my head up. He kept saying 165lbs is obese, too much for a woman. I'm like wow. I'm 5'11 so maybe don't throw out numbers like that because woman are different heights. Now I can't get that stuff out of my head because my biggest fear is to be obese and if they are then I don't stand a chance.
I wish I could just eat without tracking and weighing and maintain a proper weight hopefully I can achieve that someday. But I just have massive body dismorphia that even when everyone says I'm underweight I still feel I look obese so I can't go by what I look or feel.
Firstly I really enjoyed this video as well as many others of yours since I just recently found you. There was something I wanted to bring up since I have a slightly different view of medication from most people it seems. While I agree medication is on an individual basis and is definitely not right for everyone and underlying issues should definitely be considered and resolved where possible, there are also actual mental health issues that don't have an underlying cause. For me it is bipolar. It isn't something I can "fix" it is just a thing. And it isn't the best to seek to be off meds if they are really critical to your functioning. And that is ok if that is what you need. It's not a failing it is your way of taking care of yourself. Obviously this is a very specific case but I did want to bring it up.
For Common Question of the week:
I have so far done shoulder presses (with dumbells) with elbows flared out and learned that it is better to keep the arms closer to the body so you can achieve a greater range of motion. I‘ve tried that out today and ended up with shoulder pain. Can you explain perfect form on shoulder presses (with dumbells) to avoid injury/ pain?
Sorry if my english is not the best, I‘m not a native speaker. Thanks in advance!
I don’t feel like most of us have enough information (or the qualifications) to answer that question. What we see of Stephanie online is such a small piece of her life, and edited down to what she chooses to show. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I think it’s important to acknowledge.
I don’t think Stephanie will ever declare if she is/has been struggling with disordered eating. And for that, I really don’t blame her. I think anything she shares in that regard will be weaponized against her by people who seem to forget she’s only human. Even if that isn’t what we see, any comments alluding to that could be really harmful to her journey. I guess I don’t see the overall benefit of that. Like for her to continue to care for herself and share some tactics that are improving her life is more than enough. I don’t feel the need for any declaration from her and she doesn’t owe one.
I think this was the first Stephanie's video where she sort of "admitted" she has had an ED. For me, this is one of the first steps of recovering from an eating disorder. Hope all the best for her.
The fuel in an car and destination was a great analogy . Thank you
I've struggled with disordered eating my entire life & at one point lost a lot of weight very quickly. Since then I've slowly gained a lot of weight. I want to lose weight at this point for my physical & mental health but honestly knowing people will comment on my weight loss gives me a lot of anxiety about it. I don't want praise, I just want to achieve it & no one act like anything has changed. I've always felt stupid for that anxiety but you've actually made me feel like maybe it isn't all that stupid.
It isn’t stupid and I’m proud of you ❤️
Ahh the therapy comment, often the thing that drives change is that big hurt you get from an outside constructive perspective. For me as someone without the resources Stephanie has that still managed to get a professional perspective for a small period of time, it was the hurt from the sessions that made me turn around and get myself better. Now I think I grew stronger from not running away from it, also cuz the other choice was to give up completely.
To be fair, finding a therapist that is a good fit, whose methods you like and work for you is genuinely difficult. It took me several therapists before i found one that I stuck to and liked, not because i was afraid of doing the work but because for one reason or another it wasnt a good fit.
Having recovered from an ED myself 5 years ago now (god) I am 100% sure that Stephanie has reached the audience she has due to previous disordered habits, even if she didn’t realise it at the time (although for a while I did find that hard to believe, with her background and knowledge she must have known something wasn’t quite right/ was in denial… I’m not sure). The terms she used and her ‘all in’ approach entirely derived from an old study on weight gain that has been preached in eating disorder recovery for years now, as well (Minnie Maud - very interesting read), so the whole thing was VERY much aligned with eating disorder recovery, anorexia/ orthorexia specifically.
That said, I’ve followed her for a VERY long time and believe her to be one of the most authentic and interesting fitness ‘influencers’ out there. I have enjoyed watching her journey and am so happy that she has reached a point where she is really bettering herself in a healthy way and is comfortable and HAPPY. Makes me smile every time :)
Her journey was hugely impactful and inspirational to me when I went on my own eating disorder recovery journey!
I've been on anti-anxiety medication since April '21 (lost a bf to cardiac arrest, and definetly didnt take it well), and even though i've gotten through that nasty cloud of grief, i probably wont stop with my medication any time soon.
Medication is okay, it's a tool you can have in your toolbox, if you (and your doctor/medical professional) agree that staying on it is the right thing.
I've tried stopping once before, and barely lasted a week, before i had to get back on, because i looked like zombie because of sleep-deprivation and constant crying.
25 mg of Quetiapine is a small price to pay, for a stable mind and good quality of life
For me personally as someone with an ED I just related a lot to what she was going through but in a different way. I experienced everything she went through before she went all in due to health complications like being hungry all the time, amenorrhea an there were a couple more things I dealt with but I don’t remember cause I haven’t kept up with her. I’m not exactly sure how the ED community has reacted to her content. I can also understand how this process could easily push you into having an ED unintentionally.
Wow actually early! Greetings from Canada
Hey! :)
I think we are at a turning point in society where there seems to be a shift in what is actually healthy. Mental and physical health. For so long glamorizing being thin was prominent. A lot of us like Stephanie fell into that near obsession of being lean no matter how much weight is lost. It's like it is never enough. Now you have content creators, celebrities, etc changing that narrative. Looking at this from a personal sense, I have been doing my own research and finding factual information about what is healthy. That includes working out, eating, everything. I think C*VID also brought a lot of this on. Most of my 20's were spent in an insane caloric deficit on top of burning off 500-800 calories with awful amounts of cardio. I thought I was SO in shape and SO healthy.
16:40 I literally agree with every single other thing you say, (and I know you didn't mean it like this) but I've been in ed recovery half a year, gained a fricking tonne of weight and for me personally it is horrible when my mind compares me now to my past self.
Happy video upload.
I say about 10
As a mental health professional, I approve this message. Everyone can benefit from therapy, everyone. It's a matter of finding the right type of mental health professional for you.
stephanie was the most encouraging factor that helped get over my ed . i was soooooo afraid to gain weight i tried different ways and methods then everytime i find myself relapsing until steph started her all in journey i felt encouraged and i felt that i am not alone so i began at the same time with her and i never gave until i recovered from my ed and i reached my goal of getting a healthy relationship with food and a balanced mental health. i believe she's a real strong human being.
Harry! Love your vids… love your name… and your accent 💙
I want to focus on getting more flexible but I don't think it would help me burn many calories. I'm not doing it to burn calories but I also don't want to gain weight as a result of less caloric expenditure. Does anyone have tips please?
Great video and sensitively done, the only thing I would disagree with is that mental health medication should only be used for a short period, for some people with some conditions such as bipolar or schizophrenia medication does need to be a long term, if not lifelong thing.
I wish you could have a chat with her. I actually think I really like her.
I think that her content reached the recovery community because actually a lot of ED sufferers are attempting recovery through these methods (I went on a UA-cam hole and found lots of people doing it). However, it does only focus on one type of ED, those who previously suffered with restrictive eating. As someone who suffered with bulimia, there is absolutely no way that I could go "all in", or even "intuitively eat", bc my signals are so off and my binges were emotionally triggered.
I would be interested on your opinion on the science of all in on the whole (I'll have a look through your old videos to see if I can find it), because part of me really wonders about the 'set weight point theory'. It does seem like an attractive concept, but I feel like attempts to achieve it could potentially be very triggering and potentially damaging for people who have had EDs.
I’m taking a nutrition class right now. For the past two weeks, we have been learning about eating disorders. There’s a misconception that it’s a behavior problem. However, eating disorders is a mental illness. Genetics can influence who is more predisposed to develop eating disorders. For some people suffering from eating disorders, these thoughts about eating and exercise are beyond what one can control. Unfortunately, people going through eating disorders are often met with confrontation. Rather than helping, it makes people feel guilty and inadequacy.
Yes, I would also be interested to find out why Stephanie says she didn’t have anorexia before all in when she seemed to have the symptoms.
So I watched the video and..this is not it. She needs serious help. She refuses to say she has an eating disorder despite describing her eating disorder in detail. She even mentions disordered thoughts, yet refuses to admit she has an eating disorder. What bothered me the most however, was her justifying not going to therapy because she'd feel anxious after a therapy session. Therapy is not a
walk in the park. It's not a pep talk from a friend. It's not about instant gratification or instant validation. It is hard fucking work. The way she dismisses it as ~giving her more anxiety~ is fucking ridiculous and
another seriously harmful thing she communicates to her viewers. Jfc. I can't believe I used to be a fan.
Definitely, therapy can be a tough process, especially when you're not ready to admit the root of the problem. I can only think that those pills that help to control her anxiety won't suffice against the triggers the mind can create if she does not tackle the root of the problem.
Just because therapy doesn’t work for her right now doesn’t mean people on the internet should force her into therapy ! She did mention her orthorexia which is in fact an eating disorder. It takes time to find the right one!
i have a question for next week: bit specific, but what could be the problem if, when i squat (even without weight) i feel a pinch in the hip that i then also feel in the knee/on top of the knee of that same leg. I suppose it's to do with the muscle but i just can't figure out how to improve it. atm i stretch a lot before working my legs but it doesn't always help. sometimes the pain in the upper knee stays.
I am definitely not a professional, but do you feel the pain in the lateral side? If so, have you tried foam rolling your legs? Especially your IT bands' area. I would give daily foam rolling+stretching a go, it helped me.
@@juditpapp3090 I agree it could be ITband issues . I would also activate your glutes before squatting .
Hi Harry, sorry this is out of context of this video, but would you like to review Joanna Soh Official? I like her workout but since I'm amateur in fitness (just started exercising earlier this month) and still learning a lot, I'm very interested to know your opinion. Thanks!
Fashionable hat harry😁 love your content!!
I remember when I was at the peak of my disorder eating (eating only 1 meal a day) my grandma congratulated me on my weight loss and told me that I looked good and that made me feel really good abt myself😥 but I am very proud to say now, after a year of working out and obsessing over being in a calorie deficit, I am focusing on getting enough protein and calories and I feel so good and happy and I’m actually excited for my new journey!!
Her journey during her "hollow leg" journey, uncontrolled weight gain, then restriction ( through her claim that naturally stopped having an appetite) & got super thin again, has been more problematic than helpful. Whole thing makes less and less sense. And she needs to at least speak with an actual disordered eating specialist instead (that online girl, Kayla doesn't count ) because that would be brave. Her trying to use eating disorder recovery methods while at the same time, separating herself from it is ridiculous.
She is only human! She is trying and addressing where she feels like she went wrong. We can’t expect perfection!
Having an ED is something you never “get over” or “get out of”… it’s a journey of being in control and out of control of it at different times and she has done a great job of being honest about her struggle, getting on track and in control of it and (the hardest part to admit for anyone) relapsing back into it. What makes her situation unique is she has done all of this in front of a huge audience and for the sake of making profitable content, has had to blur some lines between what is true and what she wishes were true. It’s easier to think about ED’s as an addiction cycle… think of someone who has been sober for 10 months. That is a huge achievement for them, they might celebrate this milestone and they will continue to take each day as a new one to succeed. It doesn’t mean they don’t crave their vice or feel tempted to relapse. Many addicts relapse over and over. Food presents this same way for someone with a restriction ED and NOT eating is the “drug”.
Everyone loves talking about Intuitive Eating but no one acknowledges the Intuitive Not Eating of Intuitive Eating. I eat more or less the same things everyday and some days I eat less for no apparent reason. Other days I eat more for seemingly no reason too. If I have a large meal for lunch or dinner, I can wake up, the next day, still full and maybe only eat an early dinner, or I can just eat as usual. It all depends and intuitive eating can mean never knowing when you're going to eat next or how much lol.
When I am stressed, I have no interest in food and don't feel hungry at all. I can and have gone between 18 to 50 hours without eating recurringly for half a year and when I did eat it was just a normal amount for a meal. Once I got into a better mental state, I went right back to eating the way I used to. I didn't have extreme hunger or overeat at all. I did lose weight during the time I was stressed but that wasn't the problem, once the problem was solved the weight came back.
With the rise of HAES and demolishing Diet Culture, any form of 'not eating' is described as restriction = eating disorder. Stephanie had anxiety from being online and her anxiety included the negativity of gaining weight because she actually experienced people's negative comments when she was gaining weight. When people experience stress/anxiety they can Eat or Starve their problems(intuitively). If she didn't focus on her weight gain or loss but instead her anxiety, her appetite would have returned without her having had to have force fed herself(intentionally gaining weight). She may have gained the weight back or not as much because she was still finding her 'set point weight'.
Like you said, food is fuel. You shouldn't run on empty but if your body says it still has fuel then you shouldn't worry so much about it. It will let you know when the tank is empty, you just need to trust that.
Monday yeah!
Hey :)
We are living in a very sick society because we don't have contact with nature. As soon as you go to a forest or an empty beach the anxiety goes down and you feel much better. I've lived in very small village and in big capital cities, and I prefer small places to live
I thought once i finally reached my goal weight, my life would dramatically improve. When i reached it, nothing changed. So i figured.. maybe i should lose more.
I went overboard and ended up messing up my health. That's when i realized... i need to address this in therapy. Sad :/
My meds ruined me made me apathetic and was left on them indefinitely until I became pregnant again. I still have side effects from them 4 years on which I didn’t previously. Not for everyone and didn’t help with my anxiety at all
That would be great you Mia and Stephanie asking questions and in conversation. Do you think it will happen? Be great
I can’t see Stephanie going for it, sadly! My platform isn’t big enough to catch her attention
To answer your question--Yes, I do believe Stephanie struggled with an eating disorder before her "all in" journey. It is a shame that she is unable to recognize and admit it. I have a master's degree in eating disorders and am an eating disorder specialist. I found Stephanie’s UA-cam channel years ago suggested amongst other recovering ED sufferers. In my expert opinion, she did in fact struggle with an eating disorder in the past. She may not have ever formally been diagnosed by a licensed medical professional, or may not have labeled it as an ED at the time, but looking back it is apparent that is what she was struggling with and what led to her extreme hunger and to where she is now. There is a common misconception that "anorexia nervosa" means consuming zero food, so I can see how she is unable to admit that she was anorexic, as she clearly was eating food (and enjoyed it!) at her lowest weight. However, the diagnostic criteria (from the DSM-5) for anorexia nervosa includes restriction of energy intake (calories) relative to requirements needed for your body/age/activity level, intense fear of gaining weight even though underweight, and undue influence of body weight/shape on self worth. Therefore, while she was indeed eating food at her thinnest point, she was following a strict "fitness"/lean meal program and not eating enough for the amount of exercise she was doing. This conscious choice to restrict the types/amount of food consumed in order to manipulate one’s body size is indeed anorexia nervosa. Furthermore, there are also 2 types of AN: restricting type and purging type. Based on her past videos, it did appear she was purging any food eaten via exercise, and therefore ended up in a calorie deficit in order to maintain a low body weight and lean physique. You cannot always tell by looking at someone if they have an ED or not!!! It doesn’t always look like a stereotypical skeleton of a girl dying in the hospital. Bottom line is if you’re purposefully restricting calories and therefore not getting enough to supplement the amount you’re burning, it is still having detrimental negative and dangerous effects inside your body. I do think it would be helpful to the ED community for Stephanie to not minimize or deny that she had an ED. There is a valid reason her story resonates with the ED community…it isn’t a coincidence. P.S. What she described in her latest video you referenced is an ED relapse, which is totally normal in recovery.
"You look great/fit" is so much better than saying specific things like "Oh did you lose weight?" or "You gained weight." It can be taken the wrong way even if it's meant to be a compliment. Best to steer clear from commenting on someone's body esp if you don't know them.