Women Want to Be Pursued
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- Опубліковано 28 бер 2024
- The latest TikTok dating trend is figuring out who is the "black cat" and "golden retriever" in different relationships. It's really just social media terms for why relationships work and who is dominant in the relationship. Let's break it down.
Shoutout to Anna Kristina for her breakdown of the theory: www.tiktok.com/@annakrstna?la...
Shoutout to Gabby for her take on the trend: www.tiktok.com/@annakrstna?la...
Shoutout to Kiszmet for his commentary: www.tiktok.com/@annakrstna?la...
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I hate this cycle of Gen Z insisting they are against gender roles, and then rediscovering them by assigning dumb names like "black cat / golden retriever", "trad wife", "Green line theory", etc.
You rejected the idea of gender roles until hookup culture led you straight back to your hardwired instincts, it's so ridiculous.
🎯 So true! 😄
As a Gen Z male, I’m not against gender roles and recognize that many in my generation are indoctrinated and can’t think for themselves.
This is very well put 👏🏼
Seriously the most f ed up generation on planet earth’s history
Please don't say Gen Z, because not every Gen Z is on with this thing. Trad Gen Z are a thing
Ladies and gentlemen, whatever you do, do not take any dating advice from TikTok!
Don’t take any advice from any social media period… unless you have your personal role model and examples sort of like Brett Cooper ♡
Good advice
@@ciaraharper737 brett's advice has been a little naive lately
I Honestly think the idea of Tiktok Dating advice is silly
Exactly guys you should get all your advice from r/footfetish like the rest of us
As a happily married man with his first child on the way, don't take relationship advice from the internet. I like Brett, but all these "tips" are garbage. Don't require your man to like you more than you like him, don't seek a black cat, golden retriever or any of the other random relationship trends I just heard in this video. Manly men don't seek to give you attention, and vise versa for feminine men, it's different for every single guy. I would consider myself quite a masculine man, but I deeply enjoy the attention that my wife gives me. Just find someone that you mesh with well. Find a man or woman who strengthens your weaknesses and who you strengthen their weaknesses. Grow together as people and that is how you will be happy. It sounds to me like all this advice being handed out online comes from people with failed relationships or who are forever single.
Thank you!
Congrats on your marriage and baby!
Truth, daddy. Truth.
Gen Z relationship theory is wildly broken.
Absolute straight up facts. Congrats on the baby, mine is almost a year old now and I can’t imagine life without her.
Smart men don't marry. You've given a woman the power to destroy you on whim. A smart man won't assume that risk.
Brett, this is one of the rare times I have to disagree with you, most of this is absolutely terrible advice that will keep women single: If you "do less" as this woman describes, you will also GET less back from a man. One commenter even says this: "I did less and he left me".
Hell, you even say so yourself somewhat: That you and your producer are very energetic, talkative, and active in your relationships, and guess what! You are both in successful relationships!
By FAR the number one complaint I hear from men is that their women do not initiate anything, and do not put in anywhere near the same level of effort they do in the relationship. They complain that their women do not reciprocate, that they are tired of putting in all of this energy only to get next to nothing back. That comment by James is very spot on: Men want the energy they put in to be mirrored back at them. Why put in all this effort for a woman who loves you less than you love them?
This anna woman gives the polar opposite advice of what you should do. If you make yourself artificially unavailable and reject dates even when you're available, you won't come off as "mysterious", you will come off as disinterested and like you're just wanting attention rather than a serious relationship. If you tell him and remind him all the time you don't need or want him around, he's not going to want to be around you! Logical!
Many of these comments and videos featured are near delusional and some are almost dehumanizing towards men.
Why is it acceptable that a woman has to love a man less in a relationship for it to work?
It does not make a man "feminine" to want to receive attention from the woman he loves. On the same note, it is not "resting in your femininity" to lay back and make a man do all the work; it is being lazy and immature.
Relationships require equal effort from all parties at all stages to work. Any advice to the contrary is bad advice. Forget "black cat" or "golden retriever", just treat the other person how you want to be treated! He wants effort to be put in his direction just like he puts out; to be loved, asked on dates, and have time and attention invested in him just the same as her.
Any man that has a problem with if I cook him a lasagna or crochet him a blanket to show my love and affection isn't worth my time.
Underrated comment
Brilliant comment. We want reciprocation. That's what makes relationships work. We aren't accessories or resources. We are human beings with needs. We provide plenty, and are willing to sacrifice plenty, including our lives if we're real men, but we still require love and loyalty and understanding.
Most underrated comment
Brett literally never said anything about showing reciprocation. Just that a man should desire you a little bit more than she does.
This manipulative bullshit in relationships is exactly why so many of them fail. People are far too interested in playing the game than being genuinely invested.
i like your username
@@grumpypenguin11235 Cantankerous fowl unite!
TYYY IKR OMG
Exactly , just love & support each other
The basic theories are pretty true, but everything needs to be natural with you and your partner. these types of videos are telling people to force it. It ends up just becoming acting and a game. It all ends being performative therefore not real/genuine.
Women need to be careful with the "chase". Men do like it early on. We do like to conquer things. however, don't ignore the guy you're interested in by making him jealous with others. We like to see that we're out performing other men. If you just talked to us while ignoring others we see we're making progress and may work harder. Once we've established the relationship there is room for a bit of chasing, but overall men then look toward their partner for peace and solace. Especially when having a family. It's easier if you're a stay at home mom and he is the bread winner. Your job is to manage the home and re-energize him so he can focus more of his energy outside the home and make more money to support everyone.
She ended 13 years of marriage with a no fault divorce. I explained it to my daughter this way, " Be careful about loving someone so much that they don't have to love you back."
that is a good piece of advice. I'll remember it.
I can definitely relate to your quote, but 13 years…. Im so sorry ):
Had I warned you on your wedding night I bet you'd have threatened me.
@@raygordonteacheschess5501
I don't think so. My father had done so in his own way and I didn't get upset. Truth be told I was desperate, I wanted to be loved and I belived I could make it work. My youthful ignorance had me overlook the fact that no ammount of effort I put in wasn't going to convince her to care about the relationship.
I recognize "chase" in a relationship is actual fun but be careful. There are too many today that take advantage of it, abuse it. Not saying don't participate, I am saying be vigilant. It should be a game of tag and not a game of keep away, if that makes sense.
Golden retriever energy feels like someone who falls in love too easily and black cat energy feels like someone who will bring only misfortune.
I can see what you are talking about, but in a sense I disagree.
I see that golden retriever energy as a willingness to serve and love. Even if it means more sacrifice than what we get in turn.
Though, that doesn’t mean take abuse, it’s The general idea behind the retriever. I can’t speak much for the black cat, but I think that is more a mutual respect for one another. Which men in my opinion and experience tend to work better on.
(Again personal opinion and experience) I have noticed women need love more than respect in a relationship. Men need more respect than love in a relationship. When one gives that need, the other naturally has the tendency to give what there partner needs as well.
Regardless, I may be wrong.
Yeah this video “advice” is just stupid all around. First of all, don’t look to celebrities for relationship advice. If you want advice? Go find real world couples who’ve had long term relationships, be it friends, parents, family, coworkers. 2nd, a man shouldn’t be “chasing after” the woman because all that accomplishes is the man putting in more effort than the woman and getting little in return. Just find someone you A) love and B) can be yourself around. It should never be about whose putting more effort than whom, because the moment it turns into this “competition” or comparison, everything will inevitably break down.
@@lawrencetalbot8346 yes and no, I would love to dig in deeper, but it will have to wait a few days.
But real quick, I think pursuit is important for a man just as much as playing a difficult game is fun or building something can give you a sense of accomplishment.
Also love for a woman is more important than respect, and respect likewise more important for a man than love.
Not to say women don’t need respect and men love, but In my experience women thrive on love and men thrive on that respect.
There are nuances but in short that’s where I stand on the whole dog and cat topic.
In the wise words of my uncle,
“There are levels to it”
Cliff Richard WARNED us in 1978!
now THAT is on point.
i literally couldn't have said it any better.
One thing I’d like to disagree with. She says to not pick up the phone and not accept every dinner date and Brett agreed. If I call and you don’t pick up, that’s rude. If you want to say no to a dinner date, then actually say no, don’t just ghost me. Actual communication is always better than just dropping off the face of the earth.
So much this! I kept getting told as a woman I'm supposed to want to be 'pursued' then to ignore the man on every second call. It's downright manipulative behaviour with these 'rules'.
@@rustyhowe3907 if i call, and you dont pick up, i will not call again.
@@madkabal Precisely! And I have no clue why anyone would think you or anyone *would* call. I know I wouldn't and haven't bothered calling again with people in my life dating or otherwise.
Exactly. That part disturbed me too. Who would want to do that to someone they like or love?
Just another trend that influences women to do less. Dating has just become way too difficult for average guys.
THIS
Nah just go to a grocery store away from a city.. not hard
@@dertythegrower yes girls love when you do that
@@dertythegrowerI do it twice a week man. What are you getting at?
@@scott8934 cosco is selling 6 packs of skanks 1 in 20 chance of finding a keeper
As a Christian male, dating has been abysmal. At this point, lifelong celibacy might be the play lol
Paul does say he’d rather believers be Single to the Corinthians but Dating isn’t all lost; I found a beautiful woman who’s just in love with God as I am and who’s just as much an off the grid person as I am 😌 I don’t believe in the idea of “The One” but if you’d like I could pray that God sends you a suitable partner
@@_ty.the.disciple very happy for you bro! I pray that God will keep both of you growing in your relationship together and growing in your individual relationship with God, keeping Him first above all. I’m still hopeful that the Lord will bring the right person into my life who also loves the Lord like I do, and actually takes her faith seriously.
Join the club my brother we’ve got jackets
@@wyattterrell where are the cookies? 🍪
Forget about the West. Feminism has ruined women here. Go to the Far East.
The chase is stupid. Never let yourself be made to chase anyone. Your partner should want you just as much as you want them - if they don't LEAVE.
Before that you do need to chase. Or you will never met anyone.
@@JMBBrasilcap, you should not chase at all. You just need to meet people and hangout with new faces. Chasing never works.
Not in my experience, personally.
@@JMBBrasilDifference between pursing and chasing. Too chase after someone means they’re running away from you. Too Pursue means you’re meeting each other half way
Imagine taking dating advice from a 40-year-old on an app designed for teenagers, just giving women the absolute worst advice known in dating history! If you listen to this woman, you will be single for the rest of your life!
Shes not 40
@@omrohit3998 proves his point even more.
Did you hear what she said about "The principles seem fair, but some of this I dont agree on"? how about when she said, "these things are complicated and work differently for everyone" Stop being a piece of crap and actually hear what's going on before you get so dramatic
The amount of bad advice is crazy
Yeah, Brett has some...flawed dating logic to put it mildly.
@@masterDarts4188and yet she is happily engaged unlike the many seething guys in the comments 😂
@@CKTCationbecause she has life on ez mode. She didn't do anything to get married other than exist.
@@gambino883 you have fun basking in that self-victimisation
@@CKTCation I acknowledge we men need to build our lives to be valued in life whereas most women are born with value.
Men, never learn how to fish from a fish. Learn from the fisherman.
This is, by far, the most insightful thing I've ever read.
PREACH
bluddy just compared women to fish ☠☠
@@broidkanymore-zc4lt Hey, feminists did it first. They said women need men like a fish need a bicycle.
@@grifdenton5224😂
I hate this analogy. Why can't I just be with a girl and we do stuff we like together and chill. Why does it have to be a whole freaking chess match to test how much I'll be at her disposal?
Because it's in the culture now, and in law. There's no escape from it unless a woman isn't quoted as "westernised". It's rare to find a woman who is pure, feminine, attractive, healthy, attracted to you, has a healthy family and finds you attractive.
As a woman I completely agree with you. I don’t understand why we have to play these stupid games.
With the right person, you won't have to play these games. It may take a few years but eventually a mutual interest will arise and then there won't be any mind games necessary. Because I think they only make it more difficult in the end...
Because it is their *biological nature* ♀
💊
If you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan
Do not chase them like that, they’ll laugh at you like a dog chasing a car
“Oh 😂 that’s cute, he’ll never get it but he keeps trying”
It´s HUMAN nature to become complacent and swollen-headed when others (family, friends, romantic interests, etc) perceive and treat you as if you´re the next best thing to penicillin.
A friend put his academically bright, hot wife high up on a pedestal before their marriage bit the dust. His in-laws looked down their noses at him. He and his children were subjected to much misery when she cheated on him, abandoned them without so much as a by-your-leave and fled with her old sweetheart to another country. As if all these weren´t bad enough, his wife insulted his kin over a telephone call, angering and provoking him enough to threaten her. She was secretly recording the conversation. She´d make passive-aggressive remarks against his relatives, who´ve been nice to her and helped her husband raise their children-HER responsibility. Her adultery and rejection left lasting, serious consequences on their children, way into their adulthood.
I´ve another friend who once loved a boyfriend with all her might. She was boyish. He disliked that. To please him, she began behaving and dressing femininely. She minimised her drinking and smoking. She supported him throughout his joblessness and never pressured him to get a job. She simply believed him each time he claimed he was out jobhunting. She never pressured him to treat her. She just wanted to spend time with him. He´s shorter than her and some commented she was more attractive than he was. He was insecure about these. But she never weaponised them against him. In stark contrast, his demands increased over time. He´d get upset if she wasn´t dolled up or if she had a zit. He´d pressure her to spend on a dermatologist, pretending he was just “concerned” about her health. He played games e.g. negging, negatively comparing her to others, etc. She was finally fed up when he played his favourite game for the hundredth time, taking hours or even days before answering her messages.
So what conclusions can we bring these anecdotes to?
You can´t be too careful in knowing others, even as just friends. It´s better to be paranoid than blindly admire people, allowing them in your life, when they haven´t really earnt your trust. Be decent and dignified. Love and fear GOD. Be kind, but never to the point of self-disrespect. Love thyself, but never to the point of egocentricity.
@@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qp
I married literally the girl next door, she lived down the street but same thing. known her since middle school, got married my last year in the marine corps, she was cheating on me within 3 months,
@@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qpYour 2nd story? She should have still stuck with him maybe he wanted her to be better? If she initially stepped up to the playe to please him why did she not maintain it? And if she did maintain it she must have been lack luster in another area of the relationship maybe she let herself go hence the comparing, maybe she didn't cook hence the nagging men only want peace and quite and she was not providing that to him based on your story
@@Kil23JoyI’ve never been in the military, but my dad was for most of my life and he lived in military towns my whole life.
With how often I’ve heard stories similar to yours over the years, I don’t think I’d ever get married in the military. Seems like a guaranteed way to get cheated on. I’m sorry you were a victim of the military curse too
This video is something that every man should listen to as the exact perfect example of what to never do. Of why you ask a fisherman not the fish. This video was full of behaviors that will cause a man to find himself divorced and cheated on.
I’m sorry but women made it very clear that we need to STAY AWAY! you got it, I’ll be at the range with the Boi’s 🎯 🔫
my sentiment exactly. Without a girlfriend i have so much spare gun and ammo money my collection gettin ridiculous lmao.
You want my honest opinion as a woman. Modern men give me the ick. Look at Timothy Chalamet or the other guy Harry Styles, or Jacob Elordy.
No thanks. I need a manly man. You know like, if we had to live in cottage, in the middle of the woods or so, he'll come home with a moose and tell me "Here is it woman. The hunt of the day. Now do that delicious stew of yours that I love so much". He's all big and bulk because all of the physical work he does, like getting wood, hunting, building our home. And I'll just be the SAHW who loves to take care of him.
Having four kids, and 2 dogs.
*starts to sob*
No no I'm fine, it just started to rain...
What gun you use, I’m more of a p320x myself.
I'm carrying most often Glock 43X, Glock 43, Glock 19 Gen5 MOS, SIG Sauer P365 XL Spectre Comp, SIG Sauer WCP365, SIG Sauer P365 Macro Icarus Precision ACE, S&W M&P9 Shield Plus, S&W M&P9 Shield 2.0, and S&W M&P9 2.0 Compact Optic Ready.
That might be where I head next, gonna have to practice my draw anyway...
First time I've ever really, hardcore disagreed with you. Please do not play games with men. We don't want to play games. If you like a guy, show interest. Don't play coy.
Check your positive to negative ratio on this video. It's not horrible, but it's worse than most of your videos. You've got a man you love very much. It's too easy to give dating advice to people who don't.
Frankly, you are a genius for your age, and have such brilliant insight. This is beneath you.
Seconded.
That's just women fam,lol. You guys have gotta always keep the understanding this about our women and their fundamental key biological feature. You kinda watch in amazement as they will seem like a roller coaster, you learn your woman as you grow into each other. Its on a case by case basis. Every relationship has its own life that does not play out like anything we ever talk or hear about on the internet. I promise you that. How dare it is to find yourself one of the good ones and not be an idiot and regret not having the interpersonal relationship skills to be ready to receive your blessing. The sweethearts like Brett are out here. They're just busy not perpetually on the internet when its not their job to do so, and just living out their lives in their relationships is all.
Sit, stay, roll over, and you better come when she calls your name. Guys, this is horrible advice. Even coming from Brett. Women are already not putting energy into relationships because they have a list of backups. Do this stuff and she gets bored with you because you're too safe. The only way to win is not to play the game. Work on yourself get healthy and enjoy some hobbies you'll be much happier instead of trying to chase a woman who won't put effort into a relationship.
Amen dude. Social media has opened the door to entirely too many options, and no one has any respect anymore.
Don't chase butterflies. Tend to your garden and the butterflies will come...or not. You Will at least have a beautiful garden
Brett is a child man.
@@SD-mi2vc She's 22. She's old enough to vote. She's old enough to drink. She's getting married. At what time does she turn into an adult then? When the video is titled "MEN, pay attention to this Dating Advice" it's kind of up to the men who've had experience in this area to say "No, that's not actually a good idea."
@@RetroReprise she has a child mindset. She is very naive. You can grow older physicially but not grow mentally. She doesnt understand the real world. I argree with you
Point blank anytime a man is the one deeply in love with the girl. 99% of the time it ends with her walking all over him and cheating or leaving for men who treat her like shit to... Then she complains on Fb about how all men are the same. Deadass this is what happens in that situation every time.
The first guy is an actual golden retriever. The second guy is a wolf. Both chase but one is harmless and therefore eventually viewed as weak and gets taken advantage of. The second is harm itself slowly stalking its prey.
Absolutely, I love how the black cat/ golden retriever theory is somewhat right, but the actual verdict that the man must love her more is totally wrong. A man that's more in love with his woman than she is will never receive the respect from his woman that the relationship needs to survive.
I agree. Once a woman realizes she owns you, she loses all interest and respect. You can never let that happen. Don't listen to the crap they are pushing. All women will say they want to be constantly pursued, because they crave attention and can't be content without it. They want to have to work a little for that attention. That's the key.
@flpanhead very much so. Its why good guys finish last. Learned this lesson the hardest way
@@flpanhead Yep because women NEED to feel love. As a man, I would rather be respected than loved. A girl can love you and still toss you to the curb for a stronger man. But a girl stays when she respects you. That's why a woman should love more than the man. Because women need to love.
Listening to tiktokers for relationship advice is 👎🏾
Bunch of miserable hurt girls coming together to teach girls maths
If she isn’t obsessed with you, you will be one of the people she is entertaining until she meets the kinda guy she will work for…
Show your interest…build up alil
If she doesn’t pick up after the first kiss…leave her
This is the worst episode ive ever seen of this show.
Brett, why are you re-explaining every toxic comment, and saying they meant something different?? No, honey...they mean EXACTLY what they are saying, that women should be loved more, that men should put in more of the work, etc.
Try selling this to men, and see what happens.
"This is the worst episode I've ever seen of this show." Totally agree - as a real MAN.
You can already see in these comments how selling it to men is going: It isn’t
“Women will always put in effort in the relationship to make it work,” which is why the majority of divorces are initiated by women.
But the women who filed for divorce tried to save the marriage with oh so many hints and sighs... You just don't get how much these women try by not communicating what is wrong and lashing out at you after they cheat on you because you didn't realize something was wrong!
🎯
I actually laughed out loud at that video! It's the biggest case of projection and delusion I've ever seen!
@@takemeseriouslyplx2124 That is WHY you always ASK your other 1/2 at the beginning, if something is wrong, SPEAK up!
@takemeseriouslyplx2124 you can't be serious 😂😂
I'm 44 years old, born in 1980 (if you can't do math). I refuse to partake in any trend in the this new generation lmao
same
im 23 and im not feeding into any of this so glad my girlfriend stays off tiktok abd doesnt have dumbass dating theories. Plus we disprove this theory fully were both introverts opposites may attract but they dont work out long term at all
To be fair, you could have been born in '79
@frqubit true but my birth is in February lol
trust me they’re not your generation
A girl not being able to describe girl math is classic 😂
It's called hoe math.
Are you one of those women who subscribes to the black cat/golden retriever dynamic?
No one can, there's only math. "Girl math" is just girls being girls trying to make logic out of their illogical spending.
8:31 if a woman has to switch on her femininity, that's a huge problem. We tell yall that all the time.
If a woman "pulls away" or "gets cold" I'm not chasing her. If she's got a problem then she can talk about it like an adult.
When I was young, I gave all of my care and attention to every girl I went on a date with, I wasn't expecting to "be nice till she puts out" I planned on waiting till marriage. I really believed the stories about chivalry I read growing up!Unfortunately that just meant i changed tires, carried groceries, bought gifts for and generally gave all of my love to girls that just saw me as a useful pawn.
It wasn't until I started to demand respect that I actually had a good time dating.
Either she reciprocated the commitment or I left and started new. Crazy thing was, most of the women who originally got upset with my requirements ended up chasing me afterwards, showed interest in what I had to say and actually took the time to TALK out our issues.
My wife and I have 4 children now and talk about absolutely everything, I would do anything for her and she's just as crazy about me.
Setting the ground rules early on was the best dating advice I ever got!
There's no reason to date anymore due to unrealistic standards.
I agree. I've pretty much tapped out. I'll be friendly and conversational, sure, but I'm done with the crud-show that is modern dating.
Facts
Agreed
Get a passport bro.
Not everyone has unrealistic standards😂😂 you guys are sound so sad please im begging you go for a hike
If a man is more invested he'll get disrespected cuz she'll take him for granted and more likely ro get cheated on.
My first lesson I learned in dating someone. If they don't reciprocate the love you give back, leave them. Relationships require two people who want to work together, not one side or the other putting all the work in.
Yup, women always go for the toxic dirt bag. Nice guys get nothing.
Same the other way around. Relationships should be equal love and pursuit
@@emm6724 Men aren't leaving relationships cuz a girl loves them too much 😭
@@isaiahthomas4444 Trust me, clingy mates exist😂 unfortunately from experience I know that.
I have to agree to disagree on this. I’m happily married (together for 6 years).
In my opinion there is a HUGE difference in pursuing and “chasing” no man should “chase” a woman… where would he gain the respect by doing that? My husband is very masculine and set the tone for his intentions in our relationship from the very being. I personally know a lot of “golden retriever men” and they all get used and walked all over by women in their relationships…
(it gives not very masculine) I know for me personally I would not have been attracted to my husband if he had the “golden retriever” personality. It’s just creepy.
I’m VERY obsessed with him because I love and respect him but if he would be just as obsessive as I am with him to me I would NOT like that. 😂 Obviously I know he absolutely adores me but he shows that by leading, taking care of me, and making me feel safe.
The very fact that they refer to men as the golden retriever says that they are thinking of them as less then compared to the cat. The dog is basically supposed to give love and attention and you're right, plenty of women will walk over men who do that. So this seems like really bad advice to give.
facts
Let me guess: your husband is 6ft tall, has great abs and makes at least 6 figures.
Any man of value who's actually dating with purpose will leave if you show him you're not fully invested. Any man who's had enough experience dating women knows better than to date a woman who doesn't desire him with all her being. If you're showing low energy or acting somewhat uninterested in the beginning, all you're communicating is that you're not really interested. Men of value do value their time. Good luck!
I don't date anyone.
Never do. Romance is murdered by dating. There is no reason to have a stage between friendship and engagement. You are so much more valuable than that. I hope you get the life you dream of.
@@GoddessoftheRealm could u elaborate more on this comment?
Yea like I’m trynna find my husband and not trying to date
Smart lad.
same
What if both of you pursue each other and put 100% into the relationship? Men should take the initiative, but that doesn't mean the woman shouldn't be just as obsessed with the man.
I’m not even sold on “men should take the initiative.” Why?
@@scott8934the fck do you mean why? Because men are the dominant ones and need to take charge. Step up little boy
What if men and women rent the same? 🤯 Women are hypergamous by nature, in order to satisfy that dimension of themselves they must feel as if they are constantly winning the best guy. Which comes the man being the “pursued” one in the relationship
@@scott8934 Because your a man and grow a pair
This comment just summed up how I feel about dating 🤣
For the record, men like being chased a little too. Not a lot, but we do like to know that you desire us...
Thank you for saying this
Cool story. 2 issues tho.
1. Mordern women believe that "Being in her feminine" means to sit back and just recieve attention and gifts.
2. Its was easier to cherish and chase women when 10 was still considered an outragous bodycount to have at 25.
Maybe I'm in a very small minority here... But I refuse to get on social media, and I will NO LONGER put myself on any dating app.
F that. I'd rather meet people out in the real world. Sorry!
Yes, we are a very small minority. I've never had any kind of social media and I never will. How do you not feel like an absolute loser going on dating apps and having to share your stupid life with millions of people that couldn't care less what you eat, where you go and especially what you think? This generation is Doomed!
I must admit that dating apps suck as in my experience 95% of women are trash, but the other 5% are well worth dating, maybe you should give it a chance one day?
I agree with you, I removed every social media and dating app about a year ago, and my life is so much better! Never going back, and I might go as far as to say that I probably won't date anyone who actively use social media either... Depending on the content of course!
same! and it’s so hard as a girl too because most guys don’t interact with girls in public anymore. I know it’s for a lot of reasons but still it makes dating so much harder when ur not online or chronically partying
Grocery stores... same.
It seems like the best thing to do, with dating advice both off and online, is to not pay attention to any of it. It seems like all that advice does is keep people single. Date or don't - you have a choice on whether you want to.
Frankly, I'm tired of getting the run-around. Staying single means I don't have to put up with the nonsense, and I'm getting more ok with that as time passes.
"If he wanted to, he would" is a point you mentioned earlier, but that does not seem to be applicable with women? Women should do less, be less available, put in less effort... But then when it's marriage it should be a balance? But with men, "If he's not putting in the effort from the beginning, what makes you think he will 5 years later?" I don't buy that. If she wanted to, she would. If I'm putting in all the effort and she's standoffish or is not returning the same effort from the beginning, why would I even want to marry her? Because if she wasn't putting in much effort in the beginning, she won't after marriage. Realistically, the longer we're together, the amount of effort she puts in will decrease. The caption is "Men, pay attention to this dating advise" but the whole video is dating advise for women and double standards of what is expected of men. It should be a balance from the beginning. She expects me to show her I'm husband material from the beginning if I'm gonna have any hope of marrying her in the future. I have the same expectation of her. I want to see wife material from the beginning if I'm going to have any desire to marry her in the future.
Yeah that always bothered me. It is just another way of playing games in a relationship. But if I want to play games, I can do it on a PlayStation....
Never take dating advice from a woman, never! They don't know what they want or what they are talking about most of the time.
dating is so hard these days especially as a christian
hard to find single ladies round the church that are not widowers
🥲 yeah seriously
@@user-gk9sx4ow6y or they "christian" even tho faith withought works is dead
@@user-gk9sx4ow6yIm not
Yeah it’s hard
I feel like this dating advice is actually horrible.
Ladies, if you like a man, be direct with him, and then allow him to decide if he feels the same way.
Playing hard to get is the best way to remain single, and when you "hint dropping" looks like this. 0_0 while your get away from me creep looks like this 0_0 you are never going to find a man.
Don't count on it.
Great, because dating wasn't hard enough for introvert guys. Not only you need to approach her first, now you need to talk non-stop and be all energetic while she stays silent.
How did you get that from this video? I know a lot of women who like introverted men. Be your best self and find someone who loves you for you
Once of the rules was quite literaly "talk less and do less".....what video were u watching ...?
As a introvert myself, I approve this message 👍
@@svorpoz1776I agree 25%. One half because I'm a woman subtracted by half of one half because I only partially agree.
@@emm6724 shre was telling the women to talk and do less; thereby making the man talk and do more.
Woman says no to guy, is unresponsive and doesn’t show she cares is telling him to get lost… do not pursue.
Women cant love you and treat you right if they dont respect you. Which means if you're chasing her, she wont respect you as much. It implies that shes better than you in some way. However, if the woman is chasing the man it reinforces that she has the best guy possible. Her respect goes up. Her love goes up. Her quality of treatment goes up. Its that simple.
Women tend to choose love over respect.
Men tend to choose respect over love.
Thats why the man obviously has to be the black cat. Women lose interest when they beleive or feel they have all the cards and then question if they can do better. The stats support this too. Its just how it goes.
Stop speaking for women love, plenty women choose respect and love, why would anyone in their right mind go for disrespect
@@blossom1290 You must be lacking in understanding. Its not that anyone chooses DISRESPECT. Obviously, EVERYONE wants respect AND love. But one of them INHERENTLY matters more to you. I've asked COUNTLESS men and women this exact question. All the men I've asked choose respect. All the women I've asked choose love. What part of that aren't you understanding?
@@SerpentineWisdom what part aren't you understanding? Those couple of people do not talk for everyone, there's plenty men i have seen choose love, love to some people is respect,you'll ask questions from a small group of people and think they speak for a the whole universe, love dont mean anything to me if the respect ain't there
@@SerpentineWisdom men choose respect over love and lack it themselves that's why they want it so they can be the ones to be disrespectful
Taking love advice from a guy in his briefs no thanks 🤢
At this point it doesn’t matter
never been less worth as a man to date
Agreed
True Billy boy.
Women havent been even half way decent since 2010.
At least for a while: Millennial women were ok. They all did the dating app thing though: and theyre cooked too.
I get giving up but we should still try because there's nothing like finding that person and never having to be alone again and always being loved
Thank you Brett this is exactly what I'm not gonna do.
One of the few Brett videos I didn't bother to finish. Also, one of the very few on which I didn't leave a "like".
Whatever I did. No matter how perfect or how well I treated her. She still ditched me yesterday after one tiny argument
Edit: ya know, the last thing I expected was kind words from complete strangers today. I’m sitting here in bed feeling numb and wondering what I did. I feel some semblance of peace now. Thank you all. God bless those in the same boat as I. Sometimes there’s just nothing we can do and we just gotta let them learn their lessons. Even if it’s at our expense. But hey, we love them, it’s what we signed up for. To make them better no matter the outcome. One day, she’ll see what happened and what she did. And it’ll either come back or it won’t.
well you dodged a bullet
They don’t want to be treated well, they want to be lightly abused
Sir, I'm in a similar boat as you. From a random stranger on the internet, but a fellow human, I'm so sorry. ❤️🩹
I'm struggling with my self-worth currently because of it.
Hope you find the good one soon 🙏🏼
@@Xhems "the good one" doesn't exist anymore.
Dating kinda feels pointless
Cuz it is
I’ve about givin up
Not kinda. It is.
Sounds like promiscuous talk
@@DragonwaveOG it is. At least in this decade it isn't worth the trouble. End up dating someone for a few years, get married and it'll end in divorce. Soulmates doesn't have a meaning anymore. It's " let me get what I can from you and then I'm good. Pointless headaches
As a guy, I disagree that men need to be “115% invested.” That’s a toxic outlook and only results in unrealistic expectations followed by resentment and disillusion.
Also the whole “sow your seed” theory of relationship is complete and utter garbage.
Correct if someone should be comitted to the relationship is the woman, man already need to provide for the family need to work hard and he ONLY wants peace in his home but we are on a generation that we need to counter everything even nature is ridiculous
So a man shouldn't be 115 % invested.
@@DominantBtch tell me man gives 115% what the woman gives? Just curious
If a woman expects you to chase you, she has no worth. Be the black cat my guys.
You do not chase women. Gentlemen. That is the fastest way to make her leave you. Let her come to you and if she doesn't want to stay, show her the door
Very few women approach.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dmExactly.
I can feel the power emanating from your glorious fedora my master.
As a woman, I will never approach a man even if I’m interested in him. The most I can do is make eye contact and hope he engages with me lol.
@@tinygypsy3707He doesn't have to engage with you for what so ever. You can make an equal effort. It's 2024, get rid of pathetic gender roles/stereotypes & just be a simple human.
Yeah no.. this bullshit
Willing to bet money the girl who made this video is either single or as recently dumped.
I just wouldn't take any dating advice from anyone in the dailywire. It's not just her but they all are oblivious or don't care to understand what men want
I was told by my ex that I was smothering her. Yet when I quit calling and texting her as much I wasn't paying enough attention to her.
She wasn't worth it, for your sake I'm glad you're out of that relationship. Though I'm sorry, I'm sure I hurt
Some people are never satisfied. Nothing you can do but leave them to that dissatisfaction
Can't wait for tic TOC to go dark for all time.
The TOC is Gen Z's virus
Can anyone actually give a reason for a man to go on a date in 2024?
Your Hungry & want a dinner mate Nothing else
No.
@@KimMcIntyre-ou1ew ha ha ha ha ha
@@easter_sunday I wanna go out for sour dough bread garlic olive oil Baba Gonish (not spelt right 😂) Hummus ✌️😎🌺
@@KimMcIntyre-ou1ew where’s the beef 🥩?
🤣🤣🤣🧂🧂🧂
As the owner of an actual black cat who is VERY affectionate, my first thought when I heard "black cat in the relationship" was "what is that, the one who always wants to snuggle?" Way off, apparently...
"...these women who are designed to be selective and careful..."
Now that was a good laugh, keep up the comedy!!
Selectful? Sure. As long as you're 6 ft tall, have great abs and make at least 6 figures. Yup, that's pretty selectful guys.
Oops! I meant selective. D'oh.
@@timwashburn8553
selective + careful = selectful;
I see what might went wrong here..
It's cute Brett thinks any advice actually works when you're dealing with women.
She's delusional.
There's a difference between persuing and chasing. Chase a woman you look like a stalker and get rejected
10:30 that’s a way to make him pursue another (better) woman. If you’re available you should always say yes.
My thoughts exactly
I’m obsessed with my finance & he’s a total provider/protecter! He’s super reserved with his emotions but those roots run deep and are strong!! Everyone is different and you just gotta find your best friend. Only way to do a life with someone.
A total bum
Are you obsessed with Jesus?
@@Truckin261 my faith is between me an Jesus 🤣
@@traceylynn7100 Jesus better be your number one.
Never take dating advice from women. Never, ever.
Yesssssssssssssssss. !
Just to be clear Bret is in agreement that women should ignore men they’re interested in to make them show that we’re interested? I can’t be the only one to find this to be stupid
TERRIBLE ADVICE. That is the exact same thing people do when they are trying to distance themselves from you
You're not.
important, if you say no to one date, suggest one another time or it'll look like you lost interest, especially if it's early in the relationship
Instinct, intuition, and feelings are never factual.
Facts. That’s why you always gotta walk in those 3 things like a chicken without a head, figuring out if that’s really the case or if y’all trippin
Tune in next week when Brett covers the next social media trend explaining why your relationship failed using idiotic analogies...
week after that we hear about her divorce and how its only his fault
@@user-gk9sx4ow6y Bro I'm not gonna cap, the more I see Brett's videos on relationships the more I feel like she's headed for a divorce in the next 10 years.
@@user-gk9sx4ow6y you brett fans are severly toxic and are so controlling over brett.
@iamme25yago do you know what controling means buddy??☠☠
Is it just me or have the rest of y'all noticed Brett hasn't let up on bad takes recently?
She’s an actress trying to talk about loyalty 😂😂 she will sell out and kiss other people that’s not her fiancé
@@user-ir1lu1ei4n dude, enough with that BS take. You've been here saying that since she made her proposal announcement video. She is 100% with some of these videos, but her opinion is in fact not a fact, so if you disagree, cool. I don't agree with her take on here.
@@FabulosoSprayyou hate facts? He's right
@@mikeking683 No, I hate people with zero credit talking about who someone is. Granted I don't know her either. But why take a piss out on someone for literally no reason. I've been critical about her myself, but why am I going to get off on someone I barely know and act like it's "fact"?
@@FabulosoSpray I heard your farts stink very badly
Should be titled How to Create Toxic Relationships
This sounds like a toxic relationship to me
If you want to make the relationship work, look to those who have been married for 50 years.
Fr. Those are rare and tbh, 1% ters
even then, it still probably won't work due to the generational gap. 50 years ago, women were just more desirable than now.
Every couple being married I know of - is an absolute disaster for the man involved.
Bro facts, the point that Brett can only reference relationships for 5 years shows how simple minded she is in this
@@masterDarts4188 she got lucky forreal
I don't agree with this whatsoever. I have had several long-term relationships, two years plus, with the longest being four years. None of them have I ever 'pursued them'; it was mutual flirting over a period of time that turned into something serious. I only 'pursue' a woman to sleep with her, and that is the only intent in my mind. Why would I so heavily pursue someone I want a relationship with? It puts you in an unhealthy, one-track mindset where your goal is to be with her when really you should be finding out IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER.
Furthermore, why would I want to waste my time or even be with someone who either doesn't seem to want to be with me or is making power plays over me? And it shows she doesn't feel the need to offer anything to me in the relationship. It just sounds like a good way to end up in a miserable relationship. There is nothing masculine about being desperate and pursuing so hard like that; it just screams behavior of low-value men. If you're a good-looking and good-quality man, women will put effort into being with you too.
A good general rule, though, in the context of two random people being interested, is that the guy should generally be the one to start the interaction. But even then, I think women can start the interaction in a more feminine way as well, such as just starting a conversation and creating the opportunity for him to ask for her number. Whereas, I think a man should be the blunt one to ask for the number exchange.
Once again. Men have to take all the risk while women sit back judge you and pick you apart with her girlfriends and then blows you off like you're some creep.
I will keep on saying this. Approaching women like these women in this video are asking for is NOT a risk that we can possibly afford.
dating advice: find your soulmate🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
That’s a fairytale
No such thing. Some ladies have much better attributes we have to be aware of what is important to us.
I think at this point we should go outside....😑😑😑 this trend is just sad
Just food for thought. If the woman is in the adored role and the man in the adorer role, it will ultimately put the woman into a leadership masculine mindset and the man into a feminine follower mindset. The man needs to be the leader in the relationship for long term success.
if the girl was more adored wouldn’t that make the guy the leader because he takes initiative on dates, plans, convos etc to further a relationship?
Brett, are you familiar with the channel Strong Successful Man? It's a never ending series of stories about the absolute horror which happens when the man loves the woman more than she loves him. It causes the woman to become complaisant, lose respect, and then cheat on him in search of attention, validation, and excitement, regardless of the attention and validation being provided by their "golden retriever" spouse.
Nothing is absolute, but it's entertaining finding some of the diametrically opposed advice being offered with such complete confidence.
Hey, a fellow SSM follower, glad I’m not the only one around Brett’s videos
There’s no point anymore.
So glad I met my husband at a bar back in the day! These kids are next level weird now!
When they're saying "The guy needs to be more interested", that's simp behaviour. They want more attention than they have to give. Brett's giving too much of a benefit of the doubt.
How much "more interested" do I have to be? Just short of being a stalker?
@@timwashburn8553 It's not pre-relationship, this is about while in a relationship. They're really saying that they want the guy to be 100% in the relationship, while they are "keeping their options open".
Barely surviving in this economy & building career & putting food on the table as a man. I just expect peace of mind when I get back home, not my girl being black cat.
Man: I gave a woman everything and got nothing in return.
Brett: It’s not black and white
Woman: I left a man because I gave everything and wasn’t getting anything in return
Brett: Exactly! That’s what you should do!
The foolishness.
This is why you ask a fisherman. This is why the red pill actually still exists. Because of garbage advice that comes out of this.
I never noticed this until you mentioned it...
She is wrong on that. Any one-sided relationship is going to leave one person content and oblivious, the other miserable because he or she feels used and neglected. And if you can't communicate with each other about this, it's best to leave. Find someone ( if you can, sadly) who will work with you, listen to what you have to say, and tell you when something is bothering them, even if it seems stupid.
Wow I didn't even notice that. This is why I take women's opinions on male dating with a grain of salt.
It’s almost like she’s just a disingenuous feminist like more or less every “conservative “ woman influencer. I remember seeing a clip when Jason kelce retired, saying that woman shouldn’t settle and should look for their Jason kelce. Ya know the 6 4 nfl player, cause modern woman’s standards aren’t high enough need to raise that bar
I ain’t chasin no bih.
My man is the silent type and I'm the social butterfly. But people who know him get surprised because when he and I are together ... He becomes social. He and I have great convos and I somehow bring out his social side. I love it. It shows me he genuinely enjoys being around me and I help him feel open in a social setting.
Maybe it's me, but when someone pulls away I just default to thinking they're not interested. If you pull away from someone don't be surprised if they stop wanting to be around you, stop texting you, etc.
Who would say no to a cute date while in a relationship? Tiktok is hot garbage for a reason.
If someone wants to play games by "pulling away" find someone else who's equally as interested in you. You're not a Playstation that they can use at their leisure, you deserve better.
I don't ask twice. I don't chase. I don't give second chances. Never let the woman be in control or she'll cheat.
"Lumi-OF-Model" says "Never let the woman be in control or she'll cheat." while showing a woman in the pfp. Another bot...
Yea so the man can be the one to cheat first right?men will say this and its them that cheats, i see them do it all the time,men are the definition of a hypocrite💀
said by a girl with no control herself.. your username is just.. sigh.. sad and desperate
You sound like those bots who listen to hours of Fresh & Fit everday. 💀
@@Just_A_Random_Desk those are the ones that cheat the most who says that💀
Bro😂😂😂😂 we all wonder why there’s no relationships nowadays. People are too stupid & listen to the wrong people & play stupid games. We aren’t gonna get anywhere with this relationship thing. Everyone is lost & too far gone
Based on this advice I am the golden retriever in my relationship. I chased my husband. And now I’m very happy with the life we’ve built together
A rare example indeed!
Well, considering im 5 years in married with a 1 1/2 yr old son.
Equal amounts of efforts are required from involved parties. Along with communication, not just hearing someone. I mean listen. Shut up and listen. Both sides. There will be more clarity between the concerned parties if you stop putting yourself first. If both parties try to find a compromise then the relationship thrive. You dont have to take interest in everything your partner enjoys but dont belittle them for it. In terms of effort he takes you out to eat. Voice your appreciation of the opportunity. If he gets you things dont hide or be ungratiful. The gesture and reception means a lot to both parties. Now, this POV is for those that cant actually afford to return the gesture in kind financially.
The youth needs to stop focusing on the small shit that may be an annoyance. In the beginning if your relationship is working and you are considering tieing the knot then discuss ways to find a compromise. Dont just suffer in silence and be mad.
Both sides are guilty of this.
EFFORT AND PATIENCE ARE REQUIRED!
Oh, ladies! Dont be setting unrealisticly high standards or youll be alone for the rest of your days. If you limit yourself to a small room youll remain there.
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. If you do this.
If you are going to have standards make them realistic AND relatable.
This 👏
The first part of your post is absolutely spot-on. Relationships are work, and it takes effort and mutual respect to make them worth a damn.
The only issue I have with the second part is that it's not just women who need to set realistic standards.
Not everyone wants to date you lol, some people have high standards and meet them and thats ok.
I’m a slightly above average dude in most aspects of my life. I got married pretty young, but still had a number of steady girlfriends. I didn’t chase a single one of them. I only chased one girl in my life and that ended miserably for me.
9:35 we show as much interest as women do, if they think they can show less we will pursue another woman.
It definitely makes sense to not avoid making plans with your other friends or bailing on plans with other people so that you're always available for a dating partner when they want to spend time with you. However, it sounds more like she's telling women to deliberately say no to plans they would otherwise say yes to simply to give men the impression that their life is exciting and doesn't revolve around their romantic partner. That is stupid.
If a women begins to pull away, it's because the man showed too much interest. At that point he's already lost and she's looking for someone else.
Nah im hood, at this point in my life im not gonna settle for anything less than mutual intrest , if she doesnt want it as much as me thats fine neither of us has to waste our time
Am I crazy or should you both be into eachother in a relationship?😂
Apparently not.
That’s too simple, I guess…
If she doesn’t pursue you back, she’s not worth it, or only for once and then cheat.
Please tell me that I misunderstood Brett when she said she thought John Mulaney came up with the metaphor “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” I love John Mulaney, but that saying pre-dates him by multiple decades! It’s comments like this that reminds me how young Brett is, regardless of how fast she speaks OR intelligent she acts…
😂 my husband's friends nicknamed him pw when we were dating. I was just as crazy about him. Our anniversary was yesterday. We got married at 18 & 19 & this was our 32nd. It kept us together through his 23 years in the military.
Yeah I bet that was tough.
A rare positive story.