What is Avoidant Personality Disorder? (AVPD)
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- This video describes Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD). Avoidant Personality Disorder is characterized by fear of social situations, social inhibition, panic attacks, isolation, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and feelings of inferiority.
Avoidant personality disorder is a cluster C personality disorder (anxious fearful cluster). In that same cluster there is dependent personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Avoidant personality disorder, like any personality disorder, is usually thought of as long lasting and pervasive. If we look at the symptom criteria for avoidant personality disorder from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) we see a number of potential symptoms. The first is that an individual avoids an occupation because of a risk of rejection. The second symptom criterion is the individual does not want to get in relationships unless there's a certainty that they'll be liked. The third symptom criterion is individual has difficulty forming intimate relationships. This symptom really refers to the fact that they have difficulty oftentimes with that. It's not about a desire for intimate relationships, but rather the actual ability to form them. The next symptom criterion is a preoccupation with being criticized. Next is difficulty forming new relationships. An individual could have an inhibition when trying to form a new relationship. The next criterion is a feeling of being inept or inferior. The last symptom cried is the individual does not take risks because of fear of embarrassment. If we look at avoidant personality disorder we see that somebody would generally isolates because of a fear of criticism, rejection, and possibly because of embarrassment. When we think of this personality disorder, we think there's excessive monitoring of an individual's internal reactions. An individual with this disorder is often thinking about how other people are viewing them and thinking about how they could be being criticized, embarrassed, or rejected. This excessive monitoring leads to difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships.
Avoidant personality disorder has comorbidity with other mental health disorders. Comorbidity means is it tends to co-occur with other disorders. Just because avoidant personality disorder is comorbid with any particular disorder doesn't mean that they'll always appear together. It simply means there's an elevated risk that they'll come occur. Comorbid disorders include other personality disorders from cluster C (dependent an obsessive compulsive), anxiety disorders posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and substance use disorders.
Possible etiological factors for avoidant personality disorder include genetics, trauma, physical abuse, and neglect. Lower levels of the expression of parental love and pride, parental intolerance, and guilt-engendering parental behavior are also associated with the development of avoidant personality disorder. A trait named behavioral inhibition is associated with avoidant personality disorder. Behavioral inhibition includes shyness, avoiding new experiences, avoiding strangers, and increased sensitivity and anxiety reactivity. Behavioral inhibition is a temperamental factor that is largely thought of as genetic.
One theory of why neglect and abuse and behavioral inhibition appear to be tied to the development of avoidant personality disorder is that the neglect and emotional abuse caused feelings of worthlessness. A person can feel that they are re not worthy of being loved because of the way they were treated. they don't see others as safe or supportive as they grow up so they tend to develop feelings of mistrust. This mistrust can be viewed as arrogant and it can make other people not want to interact with that individual. This leads to increased isolation, which leads back to a lower level of trust. There is a cycle that gets started with the abuse and the neglect and carries on into adolescence and adulthood.
The idea of living alone and suffering alone actually soothes me.....
Because of the fear of rejection, I think an Avoidant also has a fear of rejecting others.
Like if someone you have no interest in, asks you to do something, instead of coming out and saying No, you would avoid that person so you wouldn't have to reject them.
I Don't think so. I think that people with avpd have many strategies to reject who they need to reject, this being conscious or not.
I haven't been officially diagnosed as AvPD, but it seems like all of the symptoms reported here match my personality and what I do, and I can certainly say that what you claimed is true for me too. I find it excessively hard to reject or disappoint others as I will feel intense guilt, knowing I've done to them what I wouldn't want them to do to me.
Jayne Pride i have Done this
I can certainly relate to this, I HATE feeling like I'm going to upset or let down anyone and as a result maintaining relationships is exhausting. I isolate myself a lot and try not to reach out to anyone for help so I don't have to feel a sense of obligation or like I'm going to let them down and be criticized or rejected.
I do in some sense. If I reject someone, then that person will most likely reject me too. And I know how much I hate being rejected, so I don't reject others. I just avoid them instead.
And I can 100000% relate to everything you wrote, Laura Flora.
this is so me. yeah suspicious of everyone because of the thought that they will not like me. my friends would wonder why I suddenly stopped talking or greeting them. makes me sad. it sucks
sabotaging your hapiness because your thoughts overpower you. Been there!
I'm beginning to think that this applies to me.
I've finally found someone like me. I sometimes stop greeting people when I'm at my worst, that leaves worst impression
I definitely relate to this. I have a tendency to ghost people, even close friends, because I'm afraid of interaction and building a relationship with anyone.
That describes me. I was always shy and unable to understand social interactions as a child. Couple that with an abusive father constantly telling me I was worthless, stupid, clumsy etc etc I grew up anxious and afraid. In my 60's still trying to cope with the most ordinary things in life. Add some bad experiences with therapists and Dr Grande is right I isolate myself and will not seek anymore help. Prefer the company of my cat and being in my garden and art studio doing my own thing.
I have both Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, and people just don't understand me. I feel like people think I'm exaggerating my conditions, but I really am messed up in the head, and I don't have any friends because of it. 😞
I have been diagnosed with AVPD as well as BPD by my psychologist and psychiatrist.
AVPD is complex, but what it boils down to is a series of abnormal behaviors driven by fear as a means of coping.
I avoid social situations that I deem to be beyond my control. If I have a bad experience with an individual I tend to avoid personal contact with them wherever possible, but I have the tendency to observe them from a distance through anonymity. I interact with people as if they are scripted characters, if I bump into them outside of where I am used to interacting with them, I will avoid them (even if they're considered to be friends), as its too unpredictable. If anyone comes over to my house to visit me, I am reluctant to let them in (for the same reason as mentioned before). Its not because I don't like people, its because people are unpredictable and I can't control how they think and feel. I have trouble communicating how I feel/think verbally.
Wow yes
@Dan yeah it's better to talk to some made up sky God daddy...when your really talking to yourself... That makes waaayyy more sense
@Rusty Shackleford Welp. I feel pretty dang lost right now, and all of these things sound exactly like me. I might be just being ignorant and trying to tag what is happening to me on some disorder that I looked up in 5 seconds, but honestly I just want to help myself and start treating what has been affecting my relationships for so long
Religion is an interesting thing. It is formed on culture, which is what makes humanity so special. However, I don't believe in anything, and I think it's kind of ignorant to do that. Not saying that if you worship a god, you're stupid, I'm just saying that you shouldn't use that idea to solve all of your problems
@@incineration-henry4560 Have you looked into therapy at all?
My husband has a dependent personality disorder , though I sometimes felt smothered I never had to worry about him leaving me. I guess his crazy matched my crazy. When he died four years ago I did not want to continue living. I am single but coping better now. I do not want another relationship , I do not think I could handle it.
It's me. I already knew it, but with a new wave of isolation and pain, I went looking for more info, and this video reminds me that this is my problem... I learned more... I'm really suffering right now... my little box is small, and I'm not getting my intimate relationship needs met. Bordering on panic, the idea of putting myself out there... even on line. I keep trying a little, then as I start browsing people, I end up quitting... it's easier to just not stimulate my poor brain. It's exhausting constantly monitoring everyone for the signs of possible rejection/criticism.... I use my hobbies to keep me over-busy, and hide behind... lately, my "obsessive photography/posting on facebook" doesn't distract enough from the pain of not having love in my life, or friends in general. I'm so sad.
Gregory May : Jesus ❤️you.
Sweetie, please please get help ❤️
I’m surprised adhd isn’t a high Comorbid disorder. It’s never mentioned. Rejection sensitivity caused by ADHD and childhood emotional abuse caused me to develop avoidant pd. I doubt I’m alone
I would bet that most addicts are also avoidant as well cause by using alcohol or drugs we can avoid not only ourselves but everyone else as well and situations.
I have AVPD and have had it my whole life. I'm 34 now and I even had this in regards to my parents. I've been fired from jobs, KNOWING I'd be fired because of something like a drastic fear of what a text would say or what a meeting would say. It's now killing my only relationship and I can't get him to understand. I'm just a boned mess of AVPD and SAD.
Go for psychotherapy. At least give it a try.
I would think bullying and peer rejection would be the number one cause of this personality type, to be honest.
or in other words traumatic interpersonal experiences with others
It probably started at home within the family construct and continued in school. The disorder has a genetic factor which is increased through neglect.
Joan Lynch This is true I think that it starts with parental emotional neglect
Dom I disagree. I have AVPD and while my parents were neglectful and abusive, every negative experience with other people contributes to my avoidance and validates my perspective. So our unstable childhood lays the groundwork for a lifetime of fear of rejection and criticism. My father seems to have similar traits but he’s never admitted it so I feel Dr Grande is correct (at least in my case) that genetics contribute 50%. We don’t become avoidant over “nothing”. There are many factors that come into play and ultimately manifest as AVPD.
Yeah, i had a very critical father with narcissistic tendencies and therefor i attracted other prominent narcissistic figures in my life. I therefor found/find myself more and more hesitant to express myself due to their abrassive disagreable tendencies. After a while, i kind of starting avoiding relationship because of feelings of defeat. I feel unable to stand up for myself due to the covert and indirect nature of the abrasive behavior. But yeah. I am learning to express myself more freely.
Narcissistic abuse, neglecting parents and bullies at school "helped" my AVPD to rise. I started to use alcohol at a young age to cope, that led to bad decisions with the company I kept. I also had two long-term relationships with women, who suffered from the same problems. Those relationships ended with abandoment and I just shut down completely. I stopped drinking a couple years back and now I'm learning to trust myself, to love myself. Maybe someday I can love and trust other people in a healthy way, not from a distance.
This video makes a lot of sense to me, it describes me so much, i do have social anxiety, ptsd, depression & other things but this makes so much sense to me.
I was diagnosed with the same but social anxiety didn't seem to fully explain it. I really feel I have nothing to offer anyone ot anything, its not just anxiety around others.
I feel like I have AvPD because I have been feeling almost all of these symptoms for the past 4 years. I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder for my whole life but I feel like I have AvPD because I feel the symptoms on a regular basis. it’s really hard for me to talk or do anything in front of others because I fear criticism and even the smallest comment about me sends me crying. I only have two close friends and it’s still hard for me to talk to them on a daily basis. I can’t even talk to my own family because I fear criticism from them too. But the thing that really worries me is that i do actually want close relationships but I can never pull myself together to form them because I fear rejection and abandonment. I don’t even know what caused all of these problems because I had a good childhood with loving parents and these symptoms still have been getting worse year by year. I am currently 16 years old and i want to get help before it’s too late
I went from ridiculously dependent
to ridiculously Avoidant after being with a partner who was controlling, jealous and insecure.
I cannot seem to get past the trauma which has led to me self isolate for 2.5 years. The self isolating, (self hate, self blame and negativity all came from severe guilt and being guilt tripped. However it came I know it was my responsibility to deal with it. One day the intensity of my Anxiety combined with Negativity (Self Blame) had me alarmed.
I said "Whoa I need to stop thinking and feeling right now." I went to lay in bed and then seen myself laying in bed. I never seen myself re-attach and now am diagnosed with DDD. It feels better to be completely detached although I'm still isolating. I went from being overly caring and attached to not being able to feel anything for my loved ones. I know this is going to be hard on my three sons who were Alienated from me by their father. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to give up on them. I just don't know how to feel like their mom anymore.
Everything now feels like nothing and like life is just a dream or like i'm patiently waiting to die. It is not a bad or good feeling. It is just numb or nothing. I know I cannot blame anyone for what has happened. I just want to say however if someone reads this. We do not all live in the same reality.
A man can text a woman saying he is going to be late than board her three children on a plane taking them from her and falsifying a court document if he has the money. Even when he is honest with himself he will feel like he did nothing wrong and even blame her for not sending him money. I know what has happened, the symptoms do not make me less normal, the diagnosis does. My apologies to anyone who reads this.
Never2L82Valid8 don’t apologize thank you.. I am in the same boat if it helps at all. Idk if I could say it’s DDD for me all I was told was PTSD but definitely similar things happened to me and suddenly at some point I just started to dissociate and I have been dissociated for over a year now everyday every second I’m numb as well and I also isolate myself as well. Just want u to know ur not alone and well this comment was 3 months ago so hopefully you have found some peace💙
I was just diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
FINALLY, a name to what I have felt ALL my life!!
I think I ended up with AVPD from a combination of genetics and I was bullied in school by both other kids and sometimes even teachers and supervisors. It wasn't all in my imagination when I was a kid I was literally being singled out for criticism and ridicule along with a few other "slow" kids. I would always try to run off and hide at lunch and I guess it was a fun game for the pack of "popular" girls to hunt me down so they could stand in a circle around me and tell me how stupid, ugly and weird I was. If you are told that almost everyday of your young life for years eventually you start to believe it must be true. So I just grew up to believe no one actually liked me or wanted me around and it was my responsibility to make sure I wasn't forcing people to tolerate being around me. I'm lucky to have met some good people in my adult life who for some reason were willing to not give up on me even though I can get very defensive and have some horrible trust and suspicion issues. They encouraged me to seek help which is not easy when your automatic assumption is that everyone you meet hates you and are only being nice to be polite or are only being nice so you'll let your guard down so they can do something horrible to you. Medication and therapy have helped a lot and I am very slowly improving. Without meeting the right people though I fully believe I would have eventually killed myself I was (and honestly still am but to a lesser extent) miserable, pessimistic,and constantly afraid.
Laura Flora - wow, I could relate to everything you said! So much. Like this has been my life and have all of the same kind of self defeating thoughts. Medication and therapy have also helped to a certain extent, but it’s still a struggle for me to stay positive.
As I was approaching the end of High School, I had this feeling of foreboding. I couldn't get excited about entering a new life at a college. Must have been all the picking at me that made me feel so low. I underdtand.
i was bullied too in my childhood, but i met with god at 18. and learned how to love myself through god's love. try it, you won't disappointed
i was bullied too in my childhood, but i met with god at 18. and learned how to love myself through god's love. try it, you won't disappointed
I ask God to be with you.
Dr. Grande deserves a Trophy for helping victims. He leads them as gently as possible to allow their ideas surface so they can find answers they may never have considered. I would love him to speak on the “Silent Agreements” that Anderson PhD, Banks PhD, and Owens, Phd write about. He defies the worn out adages that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink, Thanks so much for your refreshing ideas Doctor. Helping people find a self defense voice is about as kindly as you can get. I would have never found that book in time to save myself without Dr. Todd Grande. It’s rough at first but it works.
wow, this is 100% me. After so many years of these symptoms I'm amazed that my struggles have been summed up in 7:11.
Thanks for posting this Dr. Grande.
It's funny, I was literally just talking to my dad about this earlier......
Same here!
This is how I feel as well. This fits me to a T. All of the symptoms I have and have at a significant amount.
@@shacklynized Same. I feel like it's stupid for me to just put a name to my suffering though. I really need to see a doctor
I think in my case I use avoidance as a defense. I am so terrified that people will find out how disgusting I am that I would rather withdraw by mistake than to have to endure that "look" when they figure out that I am scum. Guess my parents were right, although they used much more descriptive language than I have.
Please can you make a video that goes into more detail about how you would treat AvPD (not just what kinds of therapies would be implicated, but also how long you would expect the treatment period to last, and any difficulties that would be likely to arise during that treatment period)? It would also be helpful to know what percentage of people with this PD (or at least those who do present themselves for treatment) go on to recover, or improve to such an extent that they no longer meet enough of the diagnostic criteria.Thanks for the videos.
I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and when I was watching this I saw some similarities but when you mentioned how people with social anxiety are aware that their reactions are irrational, I definitely do not have avpd lol
Wow I finally found what my issue was.
Oh, geez, that hits pretty close to home.
Let's see. I'm pretty sure I have it amongst these other conditions:
Introversion
Social anxiety disorder
Asperger's
Sexual dysfunction
Major depressive disorder
Life's not much fun.
I´m introvert and it´s not a condition, it just means you feel drained by too much social interaction and need alone time to "recharge" as opposed to extroverts who gain energy from socializing. But I understand if it feels like a problem since society more or less expect everyone to be extrovert for some reason.
Thank you Doctor for explaining and giving a name to this.Ive had C.B.T therapy and that seemed to help a lot.Though it was tackling other issue.But seeing this video,I feel the C.B.T was beneficial to this too.Could you please give more of a in-depth video on treatments for this disorder.Thank you again and all the best from the U.K🇬🇧👍
I had a therapist do rational emotive therapy with me and it was a waste of time. She tried to tell me how my beliefs are irrational, but to me they genuinely are not. They are based on my life experiences up to now, which is also why I'm more avoidant in some areas than others. The therapist took that as me being argumentative. Which... I would think is kind of the point of a "rational talk therapy" but it doesn't mean I'm being difficult (or trying to be). It still pisses me off and makes me hesitant to try that kind of therapy again even though I think it could be helpful maybe.
Thank you for this. Anyone without AVPD wmight not fully understand, and i am happy for them.
Ok... After that one, I can't help but subscribe. 'click' Once again, I humbly thank you for sharing this information.
You are quite welcome!
Thank you for describe this disorder and its symptoms and triggers w/out judgement or negative opinion.
Informative Pro videos Dr grande you are spreading love for humanity through the Internet , Thanks for sharing your knowledge so generously ! Teaching to people is so basic and so important , most people do not receive for ignorance within family and school your precious information.
God bless
It seems that there's a wide variety of different ways personality disorders can affect different people. Even though two individuals may share the exact same problems,
their perception of those problems and how severely they affect their lives, seems to vary a great deal.
Most of the people with AvPD I've read comments from, seem to have a spouse and children, etc.
Now, as a 41 year-old man with AvPD, I find this inconceivable. I'm not saying it's impossible to have intimate relationships and AvPD, because clearly it happens,
but HOW it happens, remains life's greatest mystery to me.
I was insecure as a child and bullied a lot, but it wasn't until my teen years that I started to develop serious signs of avoidance.
Being bullied was just a daily annoyance, and I responded to it intellectually, rather than emotionally: "What's the point of this? What's the reason for such stupid behavior?"
Well, over time, the constant criticism and rejection got to me. And by the age of 14, I was in serious trouble. I developed anorexia and Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
I never left my room if I didn't have to, and never socialized with anyone. Eventually, I was hospitalized and nourished back to life, so to speak.
But the rot had set in. And in addition to having body image issues, I now could add AvPD, social anxiety and toxic shame to my repertoire.
Fast-forward 27 years, and my life has been completely ruined by all these things. I'm on disability because I can't stand being around people who judge me (or seem to be),
I've never had an intimate relationship because I don't feel worthy of being in one (or attractive enough), I never leave the house (twice in the last 6 months),
I have no hobbies and no friends and there's nothing that brings me true joy.
Every day is spent alone, doing next to nothing. There's nowhere to go, and nothing to do. Wake up, stare at the wall, go to bed. 20 years and counting...
And then I read about others with AvPD who are relatively high-functioning and capable of accomplishing this and that. And it's just...what the hell? HOW?
I've tried all available therapies and I've been on 6 different antidepressants. Nothing has worked.
What's left? Hypnosis? I'm afraid I'm not susceptible to that. I'd have to be very drunk for it to work, and that would probably negate its positive effect.
The only thing I can think of is to simply pretend that my problems don't exist until I start to believe it's true. But that would require many years of slow progress
to show results, and the psychological pain of confronting my deepest fears on a daily basis, would be immense.
Perhaps it's just best to keep on giving up on life? There's no happiness in it, but at least it's safe.
I have a young child and think I have maybe avoidant persoanality but havent been diagnosed i have serious issues about interacting with people it makes me depressed to be around people and jealous , I dont have a normal life, I got pregannt accidentally,, I didnt want a child an thought I really shouldnt be a parent with the way i am defiently have some social anxiety never had proper or close friends ,Hate talking to people at shops I want to avoid it all but also hate being this way, I only got together with my sons dad because I was drinking ALOT or else Id never have became friends an then slept with him,, I dont love him but feel stuck with him now,, its defiently best you dont have kids as being/feeling trapped in a very adnormal relationship is worse , I wish i could be on my own,, I feel like im just existing now waiting to die ,,, even though I have a son its not made me better or anything,, just made things worse when ppl want to visit to see him so I have to see family more often which I hate it makes me feel bad I dont knwo why
You're in a much better place than me, I assure you.
Not only because you're so young, but because you know what you'd like to do. You have dreams.
I don't have dreams because I realized when I was about your age that I'd never be able to realize
any of them, so I never bothered to dream. When I was 20, I could already see how my miserable life
would play out in exact detail. And being powerless to stop it, 21 years later, the script hasn't failed
me yet. But having impossible dreams would've made the years intolerable.
Now, unlike me, you leave the house. You go to the gym and do things.
My AvPD prevents me from going to the gym because it's an environment in which people are judged.
And even if they're not, I constantly feel as if every person in the world thinks I'm ugly and is laughing
behind my back. And after decades of this, I'm simply too ashamed, paranoid and exhausted to deal
with people at all. So I don't. I isolate myself because it's the only way I can feel comfortable.
But life becomes like a bubble. Nothing ever changes for me. Nothing CAN ever change.
And meanwhile, people live and die outside, while I still feel like it's the 90s.
Is that the life you want? Do you want to stay behind the computer like I did, until it's all you ever do?
The more youhide, the greater the risk that might happen. It just sort of creeps up on you.
And once you're caught, you're stuck.
Keep going out and do things. I would've loved to have done that. You can.
My ex sounds a lot like you except he’s more high functioning with a career. Relationships however scare him and he feels incapable and unworthy so he bailed on us. I’m willing to stand by and support him but he’s shut down. I’m not sure how best to be there for him? Remove myself or keep reaching out to reassure him??
Help. I just found out about this personality disorder, and I've got every single symptom. I'm 19.
@@sshuteandrew You should keep reaching out. I'm just like your ex. I tend to shut down in potential relationships and when the other removes themself it's confirming the feeling of incompatence and feelings of being unworthy.
Wonderful video, thanks for the great content.
I find this video amazing! Thank you sir.
This is so Me, I'd rather avoid drama, or bending over backwards.
For ppl to (like) criticized. Rejected.
I definitely have some of these characteristics, more so in the past than the present. Edit: I'm an artist by vocation and career which is a relatively solitary or small group pursuit. Social anxiety was always a problem with me so I took a sales job for a couple of years and became much less anxious in social circumstances though the change was gradual and it wasn't easy. I'll never be a gregarious glad hander or great salesman but I'm much more comfortable around people than I was.
Excellent.
Imagine this with NPD...
"I'm a badass, believe me! No need to test it and prove how incompetent I actually feel..."
I think I have this because I was raised by a**holes. 😆
I don't have an official diagnosis but everything I keep reading about AVPD matches my life to the point. It has always been almost impossible to form meaningful relationships with people, because when interacting with people I keep questioning why they would want to interact with me anyway and think that no one will ever like me. I didn't have any romantic or sexual relationship until I was 30; I hadn't even dared to approach women because I thought rejection was inevitable. I didn't seek therapy because I thought that my problem wasn't "severe" enough (even though we have public healthcare in my country it's extremely hard to get affordable therapy here).
I've always wondered what caused my personality to be this way; I've experienced a lot of bullying all through my childhood and little support from parents and other adults, but to this day I'm not sure if the bullying was the cause or an effect of my disorder. In other words, did the bullies pick me as a victim because I had low self esteem and tended to isolate myself (so I appeared to them as "the weird kid" and therefore an acceptable target), or did I start to isolate myself as a reaction of being bullied in order to avoid further bullying? That's what I've asking myself for nearly all my life.
I definitely have this and/or general anxiety disorder
My past had me feel pretty tide up. Obviously it’s not my fault that being a kid, I had no control of the actions of others, not knowing what these actions had done to me in later life (bullying, rejection, neglect, abuse). I avoided anything and everything, and I’d come back feeling like a coward. I’d feel ashamed of not facing what I wanted too. It almost felt like a matter of ‘life and death’ situation. But that’s just anxiety making me feel desperate, which brings back the old feelings of fear I had as a kid. These fears are still embedded in me since I was a child and I need help to rectify my internal conflict. I want to love without having to keep someone at arms length every time I get close to somebody.
This video has been suggested for a while, but I've been avoiding it :)
Your videos are very good. Cheers - Be well! K
Thank you so much!
Thank you.
What’s the differences between avoidant personality disorder and Aspergers in women and how they each present in the world. I can’t tell if I have social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder or Aspergers. I took an online test that said I most likely have Aspergers and should get a professional test. But most of the questions around Aspergers that I rated high on were related to social and general anxiety.
The way the glasses on the left side (his right) makes it look like part of his head is missing trips me out... It's so weird...
SuperKingclay lol
Lol
Are you Sherlock?
He was in a traumatic accident when he was a young adult.
What about things like public speaking or being overwhelmed by introductions when entering a room full of people?
Could be a part of AVPD, but it could also be specific social anxiety.
I found this very facinating. It helps me to understand myself and others with similar traits. Just as a matter of interest, what if one has not all the symptoms of the disorder & only part of it. Could it be spurred on by rejection or a situation that can take you back to your childhood. What spurs this on for people to have this disorder come to surface or in your life.
It's not a disorder if the internal reactions are based on truths.
An interesting read ... The associations with sensory processing differences are interesting .. Specifically I'm thinking of autism and social clumsiness. Aspies are often bullied and suffer trauma as kids.
I don't know if you'll see this or respond, but I need help. I've been diagnosed with a myriad of disorders over the years(most anxiety related). I've come to know myself very well and I know that the diagnoses for ocd, social anxiety, depression and other diagnoses are definitely correct. Living with the symptoms and hearing and reading about other people's experiences made me certain of it. A lot of it sounded just like my experiences, symptoms and thoughts. It is kind of unnerving how accurate it is sometimes. I felt like the puzzle pieces were finally coming together.
But just now some psychiatrist I just met for the first time and barely spoke to me for 30 minutes claims that it's not possible for someone to have so many diagnoses at once and for meds to not help.
So he claims they're wrong and that I have AVPD.
I don't trust him in the least, I know that I have these disorders and their ins and outs better than anyone by now.
But I'm still having a fucking crisis and panicking over it for some fucking reason.
I need to know what it all means.
Can you have all these disorders at once or can you have disorders like these with AVPD at the same time?? Is there a limit to the number of diagnoses a person can have without the meds helping?? Please help! I didn't want an existential crisis right now and in the middle of my fucking adult life... I honestly feel like dying right now.
Also, I should mention, he didn't make me fill any papers/questionnaires or anything, unlike with my previous diagnoses, he just concluded this based on a few questions that I didn't even fully answer.
It’s almost shocking how similar these characteristics are to my own.
Well. That explains a lot about my life at the moment. Interestingly, due to my ASD and dark triad traits, I’m not actively suspicious in that sense, but beyond that my actual behavior matches perfectly...
The big problem is that people who have this AVPD are not self-consious of their issues and then seeking help. Yeah, that's what I'm doing for years before one day this conception poping out on my browser, making me finally realizing the possible reasons for my feelings and behaviors in the past decades.
I have always been an introverted person but not socially awkward. I have no problem meeting new people like if for work or shopping etc. But since I had couple of incidents of rejection, I have become very isolated and avoid friendship and have difficulty developing relationship with opposite sex.
I think I have this, I haven't been to a therapist to be diagnosed because I avoid wanting to go through all of that(it's hard to open up and I don't trust people easily) I also feel so inferior and insecure around anyone and unworthy to anyone, I don't even think I deserved to be loved, I put myself down everyday, I hate myself so much. On the other hand, I can have this unwanted/confusing anger built up inside against people and also myself.. I start to hate every single thing, I feel depressed than later I feel empty.. Some days I can be emotional than some days I can feel emotionless, and push it aside and avoid it. I really don't like being around people at all, if i have to be, I immediately zone out and I'm in my own little world which makes it incredibly hard to concentrate and stay focused and I have no idea how to communicate or socialize with people around me and this makes finding a job or friends so hard for me(fear of rejection will run through my mind and I self sabotage) I have to talk to people, i have to be around people for more than a few hours and this makes me incredibly nervous. Once I step outside of my house, my mind races and I constantly think people are watching me or judging me and I try not to mess up, when I talk to people, I might say the wrong thing or stutter or they don't understand me and I get so embarrassed, I want to hide. My anxiety can get bad that I start to chew the inside of my mouth til I rip away skin and it bleeds alot and it hurts to eat or drink because it stings.. I chew my nails to the bottom and I scratch my skin usually around my hands til it's red and sore(sometimes bleeding) I don't have any friends at all, and I am considered a loner, I am close to only a few selected family members but im not exactly that close(I keep them at a distance even tho I talk to them). I know this all comes from my childhood, as a kid I liked to be alone and prefer to stick to myself and I didn't have many friends then. But my childhood was not so good, anyway. I have heaps more to write but I'll stop
I think I may have avoidant personality disorder to an extent.I`ve been rejected in the past so I try to carefully navigate social situations so that doesn`t happen again and sometimes I`ll even pre-emptively end a Hangout or Facetime to avoid someone else leaving me first.
A person here on UA-cam called Curtis Kessler has a good video on how to deal with AVPD. And by good I mean life changing
Do the cluster names have any relationship with the terms type A, B, etc? As in Type A personality doesn't like to wait in line, Type B is more comforting and kind? Or is that a different construct?
This is interesting, because it sounds a lot like what a superior at work might have, considering some of the horrible experiences he shared about his childhood.
Doctor Grande, is there something I might be able to say/do to encourage him to get some therapy, or to otherwise encourage him in overcoming this disorder? I'm not sure I would call him a friend, but people tend to find it easy to lower their guard around me, and will talk to me about personal matters.
Hello, is it possible to make a podcast about advice to give to people without any major mental issue for them to have a Relationship with somebody with AVPD : the things we can do, and the ones we must not. Thank you
Out of curiosity, is it possible to have the insight of someone with a social anxiety disorder but with the main symptoms of avoidant personality disorder? For example, recognizing that you're getting an irrational response to a trigger, yet not knowing that trigger.
it pisses me off that my siblings are all outgoing and i'm the "weird" on that sits alone at family gatherings, It's gotten worse the older i get especially since i turned 30 and feel like a big loser because they are all married with kids and i just work then come straight home every day
I've always hated to be categorized, but I think the shoe fits too well for me to deny. Already accepted the diagnosis I've loathed (OCD, which also is cluster 'C' nervous-type personality), ADD, etc. -all comorbid with Aspergers Syndrome. I'm lonely, yet avoidant of acquaintances, family, and 'intimate' relationships. I wouldn't really know that 'intimate' feeling. I'm 36y.o. male, never been married. Fantasized about 'love' in the past, but learned its just a figment of some imagination. Lack of trust and this sensation that people are so fake kills all possibility of 'intimacy' for me. The closer the relationship (marriage?), the more I feel like strangers. Relationships feel 'alien', but I suppose it's due to my disconnect from emotions and feelings, stemming from multiple cases of extreme trauma. Oddly, I have no issue conversing with strangers. Always wanted a family, but can't bear to suffer the inevitable misery of getting married (then divorce-raped). A phrase I often think is.. "it's better to be lonely by myself than to be lonely with a bunch of people" Sorry I came across so melancholic, just venting and wondering what your opinion is. Thanks.
Can u have this at age five? What if u had childhood trauma,neglect
I think they usually avoid diagnosing personality disorders in young children, but some signs are likely to be visible early. Not everyone who is anxious as a young child will necessarily turn out to have diagnosable symptoms of personality disorder, however.
Could an Asperger be an Avoidant too or is it just that l'm confusing some symptoms?
It's been a year. Yahoo avoided this video showing up in my recommend long enough.
You can't be too careful.
If one is on the spectrum(Autism)can one still be diagnosed with this? I remember hearing somewhere that it couldn't.
i have a friend suffering through OCD and BPD (ouch eh) and saw this video in the playlist as I sought understanding for my friend. just from the title I knew I had found the name of the thing that has poisoned my life. I, of course, didn't watch it. For weeks. Now I'm wondering if I can summon the whatever it is that people have to go ask for help. i'm so tired and i'm so scared. thanks to anyone to read this, good luck to you all, I think we're going to need it.
Do antipsychotic meds help with the internal monitoring?
I know you've done several comparisons of Schizoid PD v. APD. I am certain I have one or the other, more likely Schizoid, based on all you've written here on the subject. However, I am usually quite sensitive to criticisms, especially on intellectual matters, which is more associated with APD. Can a person have both ? How would you judge which is more paramount in a given individual ?
What is the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Schizoid Personality Disorder, is there any overlap and can you have both?
Can I ask you how it tends to co-occur with dependent personality disorder? I feel like I experienced both in different situations, but to me they seem to be completely different on paper. Thanks
Lucia Succhiarelli Same here. I also have both and I personality experience them at the same time which makes my brain confusing.
I thought the same thing that it sounds like it leads to dependent personality. People come to the psychologist for help with anxiety, depression and anger issues. There the counselor hears the person's story, then the counselor must put the diagnosis into different categories to aid the person in development of a new way of interacting.
is there any disorder/condition where you avoid people, events, chances, new thinks .... like AvPD but not becasue fear ? Cause im realy asocial (NOT anti-social) person, introvert, perfectionist, i tend to avoid everythink social BUT im working at school with people and im not fearfull ... its just that in my non-work part of life i tend to behave like person with AvPD but i dont feel any fear, i dont care about what others think about me ... can it be some disorder or its just weird me ?
I am 21 years old. I love a girl from my own medical school. but I can't even go and talk because I think I'm going to squeeze her away from me while I'm together. I don't know what to talk about or laugh at. also when I'm with someone, I keep thinking that I should keep him laughing and entertaining, and I can't really find a word to talk to. This makes me very sad, but I don't know if there is a solution :(( I just love someone and want to be with her. Why is it so hard?
How can you love her if you don't have a relationship, not even a friendship with her? Maybe you are saying that you find her irresistibly attractive?
Thanks. i wi;; try to get help
I love the black backround rather than the computer
Holy crap this is definitely me
Is there an online test for this?
I have generalized anxiety, panic disorder, and substance abuse disorder. I'm really not sure if this applies to me or not, I need to see my psychologist again, not tryna force the idea here, but I avoid doing something about my mental health seemingly because I don't want to figure out how truly fucked I am.
IT was all so magical ...with her !!
But shes running away when Things get real !
Can anybody explane ??
Docs diagnosed me with this, but I feel more of a aspd and a narcissist.
I think I have my ABCs covered:
A avoidant
B histrionic
C schytzotypal
and maybe even a little aspie for spice - only showing itself when overwhelmed by enough pressure
The avoidant+histrionic makes a negative form of sexualized attention-seeking: nunlike virginity with conscpicuous isolation that attracts attention in it's extremity of isolation (with some off-collar humor and unintentional innuendo eaking out of bonds of repression).
There must be something wrong. Is that wrong enough yet?
I relate to people’s deep UA-cam comments more than people irl
I'm pretty sure i have this and i want drugs to control it.
Did you use drugs do they work?
@@halotan4274 I use them and I can say they work. I feel much better with myself and to be rejected don't cause me the same emotional discomfort as before. My psychiatrist prescribes me Pristiq and after a while you see the difference. I also visit my psychologist every 3 or 4 weeks (at the beginning maybe every 1 or 2 weeks) and I suggest you to do it too (I don't think drugs are much useful without therapy). I'm also diagnosed of AvPD, oppositional defiant disorder and passive-aggressive behavior.
Note that Pristiq (desvenlafaxin) is a antidepressive. There are no drugs for specifical treatment of personality disorders (a drug won't change your personality), so drugs for other mental illness are used and antidepressives are usually prescribed for AvPD in most cases as far as I know.
I wonder if people with avpd have above average skills in reading people,lie detection,body language and facial expressions.
The thing is,in social situations i feel awkward and kinda scared to look people too long in their eyes.
So in real life i dont pay too much attention to details like that,because im too afraid and awkward to look at someone for too long.
But when i watch a video,obviously,theres no problem at all.
So watching a video is really easy for me to pick out all kinds of clues concerning bodylanguage and facial expressions.
But in real life i suck at it.
The only thing i am good at in both real life as well as watching a video is picking up a persons contempt.
Ill proberly sound cocky,but i really am good at it.
Is that just me?Or do others with avpd also have this?
I am avoidant because I don't like most people and avoid close interaction because of this. Not so much because I fear criticism or rejection. Would this still fit in AVPD?
is it possible for someone to have avoidant personality disorder but still put themselves into social situations and put on an 'act' to friends to seem social just to confirm that they are still well liked
I don't know how you can be avoidant without being dependent. You need someone to help you do the things you're avoiding or afraid of.
Z You can be dependent on someone without it being a disorder.
Yes and no. With this disorder, people tend to neglect tasks rather than ask for help, and then sitting around later worrying about the problem, postponing it for as long as they can until they get worse. It's not necessarily a complete phobia against unpleasant impulses though, so AVPD'ers doesn't necessarily flee from every single situation they are uncomfortable with if they REALLY have to do something, but will usually try to direct their lives around every unpleasant obstacle they can. I hope that made some sense, but I don't blame you if it doesn't. :)
True I become dependant on someone Iwish I didnt even have to see I hate it but too sacred to do stuff on my own
I find that confronting your fears helps with this. Alot of people want to enable themselves but that really makes it worse. Being dependant is hell imo
Not necessarily, you can also avoid things by performing under your potential and doing tasks that you ARE comfortable with. For example, someone not being able to finish college due to anxiety, but able to work jobs that don't require a diploma that are less stressful to them.
Causal factors? Does a largely dysfunctional society contribute. What would be the benefit of cultivating disorders or compulsiveness towards hyper selectivity in a society obssessed with acceptance and fitting in.
So how do you best connect and build trust with an avoidant ex who has given up hope and feels incapable and worthless? He’s only willing to be physical and shut down emotionally months ago.
I don't know if you're having any progress, but I just wanted to reach out and say I'm in the same boat perhaps-- except, he's not an ex-bf ...yet. :(
I had no idea AvPD was a thing. No idea about other diagnoses Dr. Grande posts and how they co-hab with even other disorders. We had thought he just had ADHD...for years! To even know that there may be a condition that explains why someone keeps saying they love you, yet absolutely cannot seem to attach because of deep seated unworthiness...well, it helps to see that in black and white!
I hope you're having some success... I will say this: as a female who was always taught to "never EVER be the one to reach out and contact your man"-- and" if you don't hear from him for a few days, he wasn't worth it anyway, etc" These voices, and this particular UA-cam subject is confusing!
I hope you just keep reaching out if you have peace about it!
Maybe he can't receive the message now, but kind words certainly never hurt anyone....unless there are other circumstances involved and you're both drawn to each other, yet you want to move on... that is also tough.
Overall though ,love & grace are messages that an AvPD may actually hear? I think their issue is just internalizing it..
How can they not feel how much we care though?:)
I used to think of myself in the third person as though some part of me (superego?) was commenting on everything I did.
I struggle with this
They avoid treatment?
I'm certainly not avoiding anyone.
is it common for people to have AVPD and paranoid personality disorder?
Yes it can be but isn't always. Check out his video on AvPD Vs PPD.
My employer has placed me with an avoidant person, where we work by ourselves in a small room. Very difficult for me as every effort to share, speak, show interest, converse and even talk about our job are met with short comments, such as maybe and probably. He is very impatient and I am noticing cracks of anger. Hate to quit the job, but it's being considered. Ideas for communication anyone?
There is some research that advises mirroring the conversational style of the other person. If you tone yourself way down, he may find your approach less threatening. He may be an interesting person who needs longer to feel comfortable with new people. Asking his advice about areas of his interest or expertise can also help bridge the gap.
show him your own vulnerabilities, tell him your own struggle with shame and feeling of unworthiness