What you say about others is how you're seen
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2023
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edited by Ben Chinapen
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I clearly remember my 3rd grade teacher telling us, "Often we don't like certain people because they have the same traits we don't like in ourselves". My little 9-year-old brain lit up and thought, "Whoa".
Did we have the same third grade teacher? Lol...
I remember knowing this in high school (not sure if I figured it out beforehand) and realizing that this was part of why I hated one of my teachers. She ended up being my favourite teacher by the end of high school (took 5 classes from her I think). Glad I had that introspection at that age.
Sadly it's true!
Based teacher lol
Makes me wonder, which is the cause and which is the effect?
Another way to look at this same behavior from the other side is projection. As humans, we tend to assign other people the traits we don't want to see within ourselves, and if we can understand that we're doing this, it becomes a way to identify some shadows that need a little light.
Thiiiisss!!!! This is soooo prevalent.. look at what some errr politicians say about others for example… its very revealing about them..
@@George2647g - It's easier to see it in others, but it's most useful to see it within ourselves.
Projection is wildddddd. It’s difficult to be self aware enough to notice if/when you do it, but having that skill can save a lot of relationships including the one you have with yourself.
This is one of the biggest reasons why, several years ago, I toned down my stance in a lot of social debates and sides that I don't have sufficient knowledge of to decide what is right/wrong/acceptable/deplorable/etc.
I got tired of complaining about a lot of things seemingly wrong just with people and life and I spent more time in self-reflection. It makes the air feel cleaner to breathe in.
It's an old quote and i use it often:
"People tend to judge the world by their own example."
Beware the person who thinks everyone around them is trying to steal from them.
True. Years ago I dated a girl who always accused me of trying to cheat on her. You'll never guess what she ended up doing...
@@iyasugames EXACTLY.
It's ALSO why you never tie yourself to a jealous partner.
Okay but what if people have stolen from them? Not everyone, but it happens.
This a thousand times!! Funnily enough the best example I've found of this was in college with roommates who insisted on never sharing anything. My family's cultural backgrounds on both sides are very generous with offering food/sharing cooking as a social thing, so I'm always doing it with people in the house I live in. The best roomate experiences I had were always with other foodie dudes who were usually down to cook together.
However, I very quickly began to notice that certain girls (especially ones from wealthy families) who ever lived with us that always had that polite demeanor of "Oh no no I couldn't possibly thank you though" were always the first to freakout and cause drama if they caught a roommate using their Trader Joe's ketchup and demanding them a reimbursement of 50 cents 😂 I literally don't trust people who refuse to accept any sort of generosity anymore, it's way too telling lol
@@mollusckscramp4124 That plays to another truism;
If you want to hear the shrillest sound in nature, listen for the squeal after taking a penny from a rich man.
I think that there is a balance to this. It's okay to notice when others have bad traits in themselves and vent, just as it is important to self-reflect and not overly-focus on the shortcomings of others.
Totally. Because it is truth... bad people really exist.
Man, I love these videos where Anna is just talking to herself while working in the computer, we just need more Annas in this world.
This reminds me of the old saying: "I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you call me bounces back and sticks to you."
Honestly I love the self improvement content you make in such a scenario driven method. It's both hilarious and so engaging in a way that we can even see this in our daily lives
Ok but there's a limit to this phenomenon. You know... it is possible to have an observation about another person that is NOT merely a projection of yourself, your perception of yourself, or your insecurities. Not everything in life is a projection.
Yes. Take everything with a grain of salt. One study is not the end all be all of reality. But it's nice to make people think about what they say about others. (especially if its mean! Make them all self-reflect)
I picked it up as "what you say about others is what the ones who hear it will think of you" So if I tell you Anna is the best kitty mom you'll eventually think of me as a good kitty mom. Whether I can take care of cats or not
@@ApequHI agree that this is what she meant, but I don’t find it to be true in my own life. I know someone who is always judging others around us. I know that the things she’s judging them for don’t apply to her. Maybe this is because I know her well? Maybe it only applies to people who don’t know enough about you to draw accurate conclusions.
Yeah, as I understood it, it's not about projection, it's about the impression you give to the listener when you put others down. Basically, your vibe worsens when you talk sh*t about people.
@@mercurial-monsThat makes sense
I just love Congress and Anna's congress voice saying , "fish".😍
I have to check myself when I do this thing, where I'm hyper-critical of traits in other people. But having said that, it also opens my eyes when someone doesn't like me or is extra harsh on me, because then I know I'm "striking a nerve" by reminding them of something they hate in themselves.
This is a strong argument for compassion, humility, and not over-compartmentalizing things.
"...science..."
😂😂😂 I don't know why, but I loved that interjection.
Me too 😂😂😂
This makes sense. lol. I always wind up thinking poorly of complainers and gossipers
I love the adorable little kitten coming out of nowhere, so dang cute! Hope that kitten’s ringworm is gone by now.
I LOVE how T-Swift coded this whole thing is. Thank you
HOW CUTE IS THAT KITTEN!!!!!! *heart melts*
maybe embracing the trashy side of ourselves will bring humanity closer. one man's trash is another man's trash, is my trash, is her trash. together. united in our trash.
On the other hand, I've heard that the thing you complain about in others is something you are really good at.
Examples: Maddy is so disorganized, Matthew is a bad communicator
Which could indicate that the sayer, excels at being organized and at communicating
I relate to this one better ☝️
At least you're definetly good at recognising the skill or lack thereof. Which makes it likely that you're good at it, because you notice what works and what doesn't.
This makes more sense to me🙏🏽
What I've noticed more than anything in myself, is a problem with taking on negative traits i recognize in others, or have had done to me. I have seen myself pick up destructive behaviors that were never there behavior.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@freshstrt3140 In my case, I've seen myself pick up traits that people drilled into my head was there all along. When I was never told of it before, ever. And maybe never told of it again. For example, one time, I was suddenly told out of no where that I lack confidence, and I was told that left and right for a while, and then that line died down. I went life and I never heard that before. But then one day after it died down, I was like, "Oh, NOW maybe I do, to an extent, or in a certain way."
It can be, or it can be that someone isn’t dealing with that problem themselves so projecting it onto others… ‘we fear that in others that which we fear most in ourselves’… it can go either way depending on how well someone is at dealing with their own issues..
I love how there's science to the reflections of this place now! Great vid! 😻
I'm glad she's still showing her cats in her videos.
This explains why everyone had so much confidence in me. I was taught to keep non-constructive criticism to myself. And since people rarely actually listen to criticism, there wasn't much to say.
Honestly I always disagreed with this theory. At least in MY case, what annoys me in other people is exactly the flaws I DON'T have. For example: I've always been a very honest erson, I never cheat in tests, and I almost never lie, and I hate and criticize dishonest people, corrupt people, cheaters and liers the most.
That's not this theory. This theory says that others will Think you have the traits you describe in people. So if you talk a lot about how kind others are people will see you as kind
@@ApequHyeah exactly! I don’t think it’s saying you HAVE those traits. It’s just saying that if you constantly point out ppl’s dishonestly, other may become suspicious of you (for example they might think “well it takes one to know one”), regardless of whether you’re honest or not
Yeah and the tragedy is if you complain about them, then others will perceive you as that way, even if they’re the one who betrayed you. 😢 I had to learn the hard way that telling people someone betrayed me was pointless, because they were going to take their side because they have a good reputation, even though they literally stole something from me. In these cases, I just let Karma do her job and keep my lips zipped because I don’t want to sink to their level of petty jealous behavior.
@unionunicorn6776 yes yes yes. I really feel anxious about being unable to find any friends or people that understand or communicate the same way I do. I like to vent and be honest about my thoughts on people and others, I just don't say it out loud. Only to people I trust.
Like you said, even if the other person hurt you or betrayed you. People now associate you with something negative. I hope you found someone who supports you as you're going through tough times
The way I squeeled at the kitten was almost not human 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Huge fan love your videos ! Keep strong , your amazing . Can't wait for the next !! GO Anna !!! 😂❤😉
Perfect timing as always
Most adorable kitten I've seen in a while ❤
These videos are pretty healthy! Great Stuff, as always!
Wait, does this mean when I point out Max is always super positive at work people think I'm super positive by association? That rocks.
Also, my nickname for my boss is Superwoman because she is also a volunteer firefighter and military reservist in addition to being our boss. Although I'm not sure I want everyone thinking about me as Superwoman.
Kitten is adorable ❤
This came at the right time. Was trying to figure out what I was worried about.
Always love you're love your creative videos anna you a awesome love your channel
this can`t be the whole truth tho. I love my gossip besties even though they have "negative things" to say. I also experience people as dishonest who never have anything negative to say.
Yea this is how I feel sometimes too. Especially when you can see they are white knuckling to keep their mouth shut.
This. Gossip can be a bonding experience when you do it with the right people, and your views are aligned. So does spontaneous trait transference hurt your image in such scenarios? I don't think so.
Why is it so satisfying to hear her say 'my father - Squarespace!' 😅
ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE, and from what I've seen here, pretty smart. 😍
Awwww it's a CUTE LITTLE KITTY ❤❤
This is amazing! Who knew you could make self help funny !
This makes a lot of sense actually.
OMG, I didn’t expect that at the end, it’s f****ing cute
The tl;dr should be that being a human and human beings in general aren't capable of static existence beyond the confines of inexistence, threatening disease or death.
Oh ok... i just call this projection! I catch ppl projected onto me on the regular and I used to take it personally. Now I just keep it moving n let ppl deal with figuring it out themselves and fixing their own mess.
Ahhh i know! That's why I'm being careful at work about how I talk about others... I recently had this situation with a boss in the end I got removed from that team to other and it ended quite well for me but I was well I still feel uncomfortable and it's so easy to bad mouth that terrible boss... it's hard work to keep it to myself but I'm doing it haha
OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!! 🔥❤🔥😍🥰🙏
I can always count on you for these gold nuggets!!!!
I just saw Anna in ANT MAN, what a throwback.
ANNA A NEW BABYYYYYYYYY OMG
Love it
"oh like you!" 🤣
The Way I Look at is Very Spectacular
It’s called Projection, or politically accusing your opponent of what you yourself are doing. (Rules for Radicals)
Love you and love your new kitty cat
you're awesome
Tiny kitten!! 😍
Well, seeing how as I rarely say anything about others, I guess that explains then why I so often get treated like I don't exist...
That little kitty is the darlingest baby I ever did see! :O
Thank you for your painful realization.
Love the Taylor Swift references 🤌
hurt people hurt people.
You ARE absolutely adorable. 🥳
Gonna look up the study myself but a link to the study cited in the description would be much appreciated.
That's why gonna get tell us through.
"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." - Luke 6;31 😉👍
Heyoka Empaths aside another very funny episode ... there is no mirror better than our own !
Or maybe some capable discernful thoughtful and observant people really are truthful to find the inadequacies of some people.
People also just project a lot of their own insecurities when they insult others.
"HI. IT'S MEEEE!"
😂 🤣
New kitten!!
swiftiee❤❤❤
New kitty! And that ending oh she going for it. Lol Bathroom or jumping down?
I may sound like a girly boy, but i know how to pack a pinic basket and bake a fabulous apple pie. And, i enjoy beach activites or a good hike after effects.
My mom always told me that, if my partner was afraid I was going to cheat on them, it's because they usually use to cheat (I know now about traumas and about people that do self fulfilling prophecies but I still don't want to be with someone that doesn't trust me)
"calm down everyone im an ally" xD that killed me
They say that any time you point your finger at someone else you have three fingers pointing back. Not all of that is projection, though. It's possible to see things in others that you don't have in yourself.
to paraphrase Tswift & Anna, "you need to calm down" and become an ally xD
I spotted a grey! Silver crown indeed.
Takes one to know one
Fish!
OMFG That kitten!!!!!!!
"Science" *squints eyes* hahahahahah
Also known as psychological projection.
Kitty !
How do I apply to work for Congress?
DADDY SQUARESPACE??
Does this include thoughts we say about people in our head, or only the words we speak?
❤❤❤
If you are acting a way I don't like or feel drained by. I'm gonna call you out on it. I don't do it every day anyway only when I have to so F this 😂
Dumb is such a vague insult though. Like if you call someone dumb without context it's just like..... Ok. That doesn't answer how or why they are dumb. Or what they are dumb at
I'm here for the kitten
Oooo shadow woooork😮😢
Well done. Humorous. And, very informative. I hear you, have cat like ninja skills. Perhaps, I can see a demonstration, in the near future. Just don't bring your katana, i want to go home alive.
So our moms were right when they said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
ANNA WHAT YOU THINK OF OYHERS IT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
"If you spot it, you got it. If it makes you made, you got it bad."
Who is new kitten? Give us kitten lore.
Was that a Russian Blue??? Gorgeous!!!
So if I think other people are charismatic, I'm becoming charismatic as well? Yeah right.
science *glare*
i alllways say nice things ab others but i dont think people would say nice things ab me
the Matt Healy comment istg 💀
So what you’re saying is, youre rubber and I’m glue? Whatever I say bounces off you and then sticks to me?