@@keythdanielsen8316 She could be very sweet and kind, but it seemed there was a string attached to the kindness. I loved her, but there were times I did not like her.
He realizes that Buck was the one true love of her life, even more than him. And when Buck died, her ability to love anyone else died with him and she has nothing left for him or her other son.
I know everyone is talking about Mary Tyler Moore in this movie, but wow does Donald Sutherland sell this performance. He's incredible in this monologue.
The whole cast is brilliant. MTM stands out because it’s the first role we saw her in playing a hugely problematic character. We didn’t realize she had it in her.
After her goody-two-shoes television characters, Moore completely blew me away with Beth. Her performance of this woman was brilliant, intense, and so perfect. She most definitely deserved an Oscar for this role.
Ordinary People was absolutely ONE of the most incredible movies I’ve ever seen. It’s depth & moving scenes took me along with the story. The cast were so wonderful & Robert Redford’s directing was amazing! Thanks for sharing these scenes!
So glad that Mary had this opportunity to show everyone the true depth of her talent. Mary suffered for so long with type 1 diabetes and addictions to alcohol and tobacco. I'm just glad that she had this jewel of a performane to add to her legacy.
"You are so cautious" "You're determined, but you're not strong, and I don't know if you're really giving" "Do you love me? Do you really love me?" "I feel the way I've always felt about you" Given that she does love him, that answer is simultaneously, cautious, determined, not strong, and ultimately not giving. This movie is so well written it blows me away.
In the book I remember that he realizes she's afraid of strangers...that's very revealing. She can't say, Oh of course, I love you! She gives a nice, polite answer that gives away nothing.
Truly one of Mr. Sutherland's most profound, exquisite performances. This scene, was the one that got me the most. The bitter truth. The ending and conclusion of how Calvin finally realizes, what Beth truly Is. The line where he tells her she cant handle mess and how he does not think her loves her anymore, chills you to the bone, as I am sure it did MTM! In my opinion, the were both exquisite, no actor, in movies was more snubbed for his performances. I truly think, he deserved an Oscar Nod, and Mary should have been the winner. I love Sissy always have, but Mary's performance wow, you forget Mary Richards is up there She was the epitome, of the cold upper middle class mother and wife, who lived the perfect world façade in public. She grew up in a household , I am sure with no outward love, and where your fed that life will always be perfect. She never was prepared for life when it can be messy and unkind. I do believe she was loving before Buck died to him, and Conrad in turn tried to take his very own life. She hated after all that, but i think always, Conrad was an afterthought, maybe a unplanned pregnancy. She had to be his mother, but never loved him. it was just an obligation. Buck was the crown Prince, the star athlete, her version of a younger Calvin. But weak. I know buck loved his brother because he was capable of love like father. I do not think, Conrad was until the end, as he was never shown that by his mother . Berger, made him see the real path to loving yourself, and he tried to love his mother, but it was and always would be too late. I think the ending, was the end of Beth and Calvin's marriage. Sadly they looked alike, Conrad and her, and I think some of her was like him, and she hated it! Timothy was brilliant what a mesmerizing performance! I guess coming from a family and being in this situation I can relate! RIP Donald and Mary!
This movie came out my senior year of high school.. I remember it so well I miss those times so much.. The world is such a mess now.. such a great movie such happy times
Sutherland dropped bomb after bomb until the final one which completely wrecked her. She seemed so sad/weak/frail in the end. She simply didn't have the tools to help herself. Feel bad for all involved.
I think it's INSANE that Donald Sutherland nor Mary Tyler Moore weren't nominated for Best Actor and Best Actress in this powerful film/movie which always draws me into TEARS 😥 everytime I watch Ordinary People.
I saw this movie when I was 14 and I don’t understand what’s going on. Don’t understand about depression and why the mom doesn’t love her son. After 35 years when I myself suffered depression and anxiety and remembered this movie, so I watched it again and my gosh it’s so intense and I rewatch it again and again because I want to understand everybody’s feelings and I also got to read the book, which is even better and more detailed. I noticed everyone’s acting here are so good they all deserve an Oscar. Every actors delivered and kudos to Redford for being such great director. It’s not easy to get every actor’s feelings out so naturally. Even for Tim Hutton who at that young age could feel Conrad’s difficulties, truly excellent acting. This film should be a great study for all psychiatrist wannabe. I hope we can have more films like this one. Films and awards nowadays are so movement oriented. You don’t know who’s really good anymore. It’s just to please all sectors and that ruins a good film. Thanks to Robert Redford for finding this book. It’s now one of my favorite.
How she says "why are you crying?" Like a child in innocence. She can't understand it and she gives the naive response of giving him something instead of trying to see why he's upset
its scary how emotionally incompetent these parents were in the past. almost utterly psychologically broken to the point of complete inability to imagine the inner states of others. HASHTAG FUCK BOOMERS
@@elizabethbennet4791 not so much boomers as the Silent/Greatest Generations born in the 1920s and 1930s. Many of them were believers in materialism and keep up with the Joneses.
Beth Jarrett is one of those few fictional characters who would be worthy of following into their future. I'm confident Cal and Con ended up well, but I'm might curious what became of her. I see her traveling for a long, long time on Cal's money, before she finds something she might want or need.
Beth. This character was so much my ex-husband. He couldn’t do mess. He needed things in his life all neat and tidy, just as he wanted. He couldn’t express emotion - wasn’t affectionate at all, afraid of confrontation/anger. He lacked empathy. Except when he tried to force it ..... and then it was cold and unconvincing. And it’s truly a devastating moment when we realize this about the person we thought we’d loved for decades and raised a family with ..
As has been mentioned, this scene was reshot from the original take. Sutherland saw his histrionic scene that Redford edited into the film and returned to give the performance seen here. The exhaustion and deep sadness he expressed was worthy of an Oscar. Marvelous movie all around.
This scene had to be reshot because Sutherland was crying throughout the original. And it was post-production I believe. They set it up w/Sutherland talking to Robert Redford. Incredible acting
This movie should be shown in every pychology class in school. The therapist does an excellent job of not telling conrad who he has to forgive but letting him come to the breakthrough himself. She resents conrad for surviving & hates him for trying to kill himself when buck died & did not have the choice. Beth in her heart wishes if one son had to die out there on that boat it was conrad not buck. In her mind she knows she isnt supposed to hate her son but she does. Conrad has major survivors guilt. He had to learn to forgive himself for simply hanging on to the boat instead of looking for buck whereas he would have died too. Calvin is such a good man . He loved both his sons & wanted to hold on to what he had left. He sees his wife is incapable of changing & she is as fragile as glass. I never hated beth, I felt sorry for her bc she really was incapable of loving anyone. Maybe just buck. Buck was from the flashbacks & all we heard about him easy. Conrad is a much more complex person.
The first time I saw this movie was in high school. Social Studies. I'll never forget Mr. Curry's class. He helped us understand that not everything goes perfectly in life and how we'd handle it. Great teacher 😍 Great movie 👍🏻👍🏻
@@pamdoherty723 wow. Great lesson to learn. I'm a mom and all I've ever wanted to do was to protect my kids throughout their lives. I never wanted them to HAVE to know how to navigate such waters in life ... but obviously that's not fair, healthy or helpful to them.. because as we all know too well, there will be trials and tribulations in a lifetime😞. As moms, we hope and we pray and we beg God not to make life hard/sad/tragic/etc for our kids .. but ultimately everyone faces sadness, hardship, and/or tragedy. I wish to God that wasn't so, but it's life. Hard for me to think of young kids (high schoolers) dealing with such heavy, tragic matter .. but obviously they do. I wish I could forever protect my own kids from anything that might break their hearts, but unfortunately I can't😭. I also saw this movie as a young teen .. I think I was maybe 14 when it came out?? Although I likely didn't 100% understand all the nuances at the time, it still heavily affected me and definitely made a lasting impression .. which has stayed with me for decades.. almost 50 years. I haven't re-watched the movie in all these years but definitely would like to now, after life has thrown such heartbreak my way..
“Buck died , and it’s like you buried all your love with him, and I don’t understand that.” Don’t know if I’ve ever been more sad from hearing a line in a movie
Beth is not strong. She avoids her feelings. She avoids confrontation and wants her superficial life back. She is offended that Connor stole it to an extent. Buck must have been just like her. She is a narcissist.
I think Buck was a loving & giving person but Beth only had an outward persona. As long as everything is “perfect” she could be the person she pretends to be & ALL is well. The Psychologist made SO many excellent points that brought about healing ❤️🩹
It is, but it's in reverse. She's snarly toward him and "can't stand the way you look at me with those 'Poor Beth' eyes." She makes the decision to leave him "because I won't have you wringing your hands over me like you do for him."
Well acted by Mary Tyler Moore, playing a woman who shattered by the loss of her oldest son, appears she'll never heal from it, although her husband and youngest son are in the process of healing.
He totally flummoxed her with his honesty. And the only thing a narcissist or BPD can do is walk away There is much brilliance in the actors portrayal. He may find another but Beth will be foremost in his mind. She WILL find another and stories of the betrayal of love of husband, death of her oldest son to negligence of the seecond
I remember MTM saying Beth was a woman "taught how to do the right thing" and she has no reference for emotion or spontaneity. It doesn't matter if you're miserable, just so long as the neighbors don't know it.
He is right. She is not strong. She is very weak. This woman is a classic narcissist. She cares only about social image. Not her family. Her oldest son was her golden boy and "surrogate spouse". The younger son was the scapegoat. She never wanted to look at herself or change. She insisted that nothing was ever wrong with her and she refused family therapy. Even in this scene when he tells her that he doesn't love her anymore, she doesn't say a word. Doesn't fight to hang on to her family. Instead she is insulted and defeated. Goes upstairs and packs her bags and quickly leaves in a cab. She is the ultimate bully/coward that most narcissistic people are. She could dish it out, but she couldn't take it.
I always thought that Beth gives up too soon here, but maybe she realizes that her husband is right about her, and her only response is to leave the marriage because there's no point to it anymore. It just seems a little abrupt to me.
The movie and the characters are very complex. It is too easy to say Beth "hated" Conrad. Buck clearly was her favorite. The movies gives you the impression that Buck was the popular, outgoing, athletic, confident good looking son. These are readily likeable external traits that someone like Beth (who is obsessed with appearance and stability) would readily value. Conrad, on the other hand, is more introspective, thoughtful, less sure of himself and reserved. Beth was probably more attracted to Buck's qualities than those of Conrad. Ironically, Conrad actually seems like the stronger son --- He is the one who held onto the boat, wouldn't give up, and survived. I don't think Beth "hated" Conrad. I just don't think she understood him and his personality traits didn't easily meld with what Beth liked. The orderly Beth couldn't handle "mess" in her life. She's struggling with the sudden death of her favorite child and doesn't seem to have the ability to connect with her remaining child, the son who is so different from what attracts her. In some ways, I've always thought Buck and Beth were alike ---- despite their outward appearances, neither were very strong. Calvin and Conrad, on the other hand, seem quiet and reserved but, underneath that, both have much more strength to deal with problems. That's my take on the movie. It is one of my favorite films.
@@elizabethbennet4791 No, it is deeper than that. She doesn't know how to show love. My uncle told me after my mom passed that she once said to him she loved all her children; she just didn't know how to show it.
It took me until the last little bit of life I've beeing living to genuinely understand the unfairness of Calvin dumping all this grief on his wife. Maybe Beth didn't grieve like her husband and her surviving son wanted. Maybe she wasn't emotionally capable of being there for the others in her family after Buck's passing, after Conrad's suicide attempt. Whatever the reason for Beth's actions after the family's tragedies, that was her journey through a troubled time, in the wake of such profound sadness. We don't get to demand that others in our orbit "feel" in a way for which we approve. In a way, there is extreme selfishness, perhaps a type of shelfishness that weighs the same as the way that Calvin and Conrad consider Beth's emotionally distant behaviour after Buck's death and Conrad's mental health problems. Wanting another to mourn in a way that we can understand, that we approve of, completely ignores the diversity of life that each of us are due, even when sharing a space and life with others. I didn't understand how we all deal with tragedy and sadness apart from those close to us when reading this classic in the Spring of '91. The boundaries we errect to protect ourselves during difficult times may, indeed, not be beneficial for those around us. But those boundaries are necessary tools for the person that needs them, even if those close to them may be emotionally hurt by the closing off of one's self, even if the person eventually heals to the point that they no longer need to seal themselves off from the life they are left with. My Gawd, what a thought provoking play. I wonder if our media is capable of this type of conversation these days.
Beth is always to blame but BUT nobody thinks how selfish was Conrad trying to kill himself and completelly unsensible about his parents feelings. Beth surelly felt hurted by Conrad in some moments but everybody hate her and stand by Conrad.
Michelle, how could you blame Conrad for trying to kill himself? He's obsessed with guilt and battling insanely, trying to cope and relinquish the memories of the boating accident with his eldest brother. He couldn't help but feels responsible for his unfortunate death ever since, and the only compassionate individuals who shows empathy and caring for him is his father, Calvin and psychiatrist Burger. His mother, Beth, is a distant, aloof, unsympathetic woman who censures Conrad over the death of her favorite son. No matter how much Conrad tries to get close to her, Beth disconnects herself from him completely, which Calvin recognizes angrily during their holiday vacation in Texas. Beth has definite emotional concerns that only therapy can assist, and her maladjusted indifference makes Conrad a soulless victim deprive of the love and affection she can provide him, along with comfort and support. So Conrad is unsensible regarding his parents' feelings, as you implied? I think that analogy applies to Beth alone. Isn't it becoming Calvin, weepingly, had finally confessed to Beth who she intentionally is both as a wife and mother in this upload? The scene is one of cinema's most endearing but explosive endings, and Ordinary People richly deserved an Oscar for Best Picture in 1981.
@@isabelbeckerman9226 One of the greatest things about this movie is its restraint, because it could have easily been one scene after another of chest pounding, tear stained histrionics. The ending is so quiet that you could almost forget that you just watched nearly two hours of an implosion of the outwardly perfect suburban family. There was no other way for this movie to end, IMHO, and so there was no need for an explosive showdown between Beth and Conrad. I'd say the actual climax of this movie is Calvin nearly whispering, "I don't know if I love you anymore." I've seen this movie a few times and I've always felt like the story is just as much about Beth and Calvin's dying relationship as it is Beth and Conrad's increasingly distant one.
Ordinary People is one of the best dramas ever made.
Without question. Especially to those of us who grew up with a mother like Beth.
@@keythdanielsen8316 or a Grandmother.
@@triciajohansen7124 So you had a bad grandmother?
@@keythdanielsen8316 She could be very sweet and kind, but it seemed there was a string attached to the kindness. I loved her, but there were times I did not like her.
Sutherland should’ve at least been nominated for an Oscar for this amazing performance.
Goddamn shame he wasn't
"When Buck died it was as if you buried all your love with him." The most sledgehammer hit in the whole movie 🤯💔
It's telling that the only thing that gets a reaction from Beth is the mention of Buck's name
Agreed. So sad
He realizes that Buck was the one true love of her life, even more than him. And when Buck died, her ability to love anyone else died with him and she has nothing left for him or her other son.
Very telling moment.
@ima- exactly, and it’s so incredibly sad. And he describes her perfectly in this scene
I know everyone is talking about Mary Tyler Moore in this movie, but wow does Donald Sutherland sell this performance. He's incredible in this monologue.
As an actor, he is always incredible!
The whole cast is brilliant. MTM stands out because it’s the first role we saw her in playing a hugely problematic character. We didn’t realize she had it in her.
I think his character was more of the family's backbone. Donald Sutherland played every part of the character amazingly. 😊😊
After her goody-two-shoes television characters, Moore completely blew me away with Beth. Her performance of this woman was brilliant, intense, and so perfect. She most definitely deserved an Oscar for this role.
I like Sissy Spacek, but MTM's performance was more worthy of the Oscar.
Ordinary People was absolutely ONE of the most incredible movies I’ve ever seen. It’s depth & moving scenes took me along with the story. The cast were so wonderful & Robert Redford’s directing was amazing! Thanks for sharing these scenes!
Rip Mr Sutherland. This may have been your best performance.
So glad that Mary had this opportunity to show everyone the true depth of her talent. Mary suffered for so long with type 1 diabetes and addictions to alcohol and tobacco. I'm just glad that she had this jewel of a performane to add to her legacy.
It was a career defining role.
"I feel the way I've always felt about you", a very non-answer answer to a very important question.
Non committal....
Exactly. An answer that doesn’t really answer.
@@kimberlybellefontaine1215 I think all she was capable of answering.
And Calvin's reaction to that is priceless as he realized that it was a non-answer.
"You are so cautious"
"You're determined, but you're not strong, and I don't know if you're really giving"
"Do you love me? Do you really love me?"
"I feel the way I've always felt about you"
Given that she does love him, that answer is simultaneously, cautious, determined, not strong, and ultimately not giving. This movie is so well written it blows me away.
In the book I remember that he realizes she's afraid of strangers...that's very revealing.
She can't say, Oh of course, I love you! She gives a nice, polite answer that gives away nothing.
Truly one of Mr. Sutherland's most profound, exquisite performances. This scene, was the one that got me the most. The bitter truth. The ending and conclusion of how Calvin finally realizes, what Beth truly Is. The line where he tells her she cant handle mess and how he does not think her loves her anymore, chills you to the bone, as I am sure it did MTM! In my opinion, the were both exquisite, no actor, in movies was more snubbed for his performances. I truly think, he deserved an Oscar Nod, and Mary should have been the winner. I love Sissy always have, but Mary's performance wow, you forget Mary Richards is up there She was the epitome, of the cold upper middle class mother and wife, who lived the perfect world façade in public. She grew up in a household , I am sure with no outward love, and where your fed that life will always be perfect. She never was prepared for life when it can be messy and unkind. I do believe she was loving before Buck died to him, and Conrad in turn tried to take his very own life. She hated after all that, but i think always, Conrad was an afterthought, maybe a unplanned pregnancy. She had to be his mother, but never loved him. it was just an obligation. Buck was the crown Prince, the star athlete, her version of a younger Calvin. But weak. I know buck loved his brother because he was capable of love like father. I do not think, Conrad was until the end, as he was never shown that by his mother . Berger, made him see the real path to loving yourself, and he tried to love his mother, but it was and always would be too late. I think the ending, was the end of Beth and Calvin's marriage. Sadly they looked alike, Conrad and her, and I think some of her was like him, and she hated it! Timothy was brilliant what a mesmerizing performance! I guess coming from a family and being in this situation I can relate! RIP Donald and Mary!
This movie came out my senior year of high school..
I remember it so well I miss those times so much..
The world is such a mess now.. such a great movie such happy times
Sutherland dropped bomb after bomb until the final one which completely wrecked her. She seemed so sad/weak/frail in the end. She simply didn't have the tools to help herself. Feel bad for all involved.
Extraordinary movie.
I think it's INSANE that Donald Sutherland nor Mary Tyler Moore weren't nominated for Best Actor and Best Actress in this powerful film/movie which always draws me into TEARS 😥 everytime I watch Ordinary People.
MTM was nominated, but she lost to Sissy Spacek. (Coal Miners Daughter)
It is hard to believe Donald Sutherland wasn’t even nominated.
I saw this movie when I was 14 and I don’t understand what’s going on. Don’t understand about depression and why the mom doesn’t love her son. After 35 years when I myself suffered depression and anxiety and remembered this movie, so I watched it again and my gosh it’s so intense and I rewatch it again and again because I want to understand everybody’s feelings and I also got to read the book, which is even better and more detailed. I noticed everyone’s acting here are so good they all deserve an Oscar. Every actors delivered and kudos to Redford for being such great director. It’s not easy to get every actor’s feelings out so naturally. Even for Tim Hutton who at that young age could feel Conrad’s difficulties, truly excellent acting. This film should be a great study for all psychiatrist wannabe. I hope we can have more films like this one. Films and awards nowadays are so movement oriented. You don’t know who’s really good anymore. It’s just to please all sectors and that ruins a good film. Thanks to Robert Redford for finding this book. It’s now one of my favorite.
How she says "why are you crying?" Like a child in innocence. She can't understand it and she gives the naive response of giving him something instead of trying to see why he's upset
To me it also speaks to her rather wooden, barren personality. She is unable to demonstrate any real emotions, even if her son had not died.
its scary how emotionally incompetent these parents were in the past. almost utterly psychologically broken to the point of complete inability to imagine the inner states of others. HASHTAG FUCK BOOMERS
Elizabeth Bennet Timothy Hutton is actually a boomer Mary Tyler Moore and Donald Sutherland are the silent generation
I wonder if Beth was even capable of loving others.
@@elizabethbennet4791 not so much boomers as the Silent/Greatest Generations born in the 1920s and 1930s. Many of them were believers in materialism and keep up with the Joneses.
Probably one of the greatest snubs in Oscar history. We wasn't even nominated! He should have WON. The entire cast gives award winning performances
Beth Jarrett is one of those few fictional characters who would be worthy of following into their future. I'm confident Cal and Con ended up well, but I'm might curious what became of her. I see her traveling for a long, long time on Cal's money, before she finds something she might want or need.
Beth. This character was so much my ex-husband. He couldn’t do mess. He needed things in his life all neat and tidy, just as he wanted. He couldn’t express emotion - wasn’t affectionate at all, afraid of confrontation/anger. He lacked empathy. Except when he tried to force it ..... and then it was cold and unconvincing. And it’s truly a devastating moment when we realize this about the person we thought we’d loved for decades and raised a family with ..
@PatchesRips a sad one💔
Honestly, I relate Sutherland’s character completely
excellent movie
As has been mentioned, this scene was reshot from the original take. Sutherland saw his histrionic scene that Redford edited into the film and returned to give the performance seen here. The exhaustion and deep sadness he expressed was worthy of an Oscar. Marvelous movie all around.
This scene had to be reshot because Sutherland was crying throughout the original. And it was post-production I believe.
They set it up w/Sutherland talking to Robert Redford. Incredible acting
This movie should be shown in every pychology class in school. The therapist does an excellent job of not telling conrad who he has to forgive but letting him come to the breakthrough himself. She resents conrad for surviving & hates him for trying to kill himself when buck died & did not have the choice. Beth in her heart wishes if one son had to die out there on that boat it was conrad not buck. In her mind she knows she isnt supposed to hate her son but she does. Conrad has major survivors guilt. He had to learn to forgive himself for simply hanging on to the boat instead of looking for buck whereas he would have died too. Calvin is such a good man . He loved both his sons & wanted to hold on to what he had left. He sees his wife is incapable of changing & she is as fragile as glass. I never hated beth, I felt sorry for her bc she really was incapable of loving anyone. Maybe just buck. Buck was from the flashbacks & all we heard about him easy. Conrad is a much more complex person.
My Grandmother was Beth Jarrett.
One of my psych professors showed it like 2-3 weeks ago and I’d never seen and thought it was an awesome movie.
The first time I saw this movie was in high school. Social Studies. I'll never forget Mr. Curry's class. He helped us understand that not everything goes perfectly in life and how we'd handle it. Great teacher 😍 Great movie 👍🏻👍🏻
@@pamdoherty723 wow. Great lesson to learn. I'm a mom and all I've ever wanted to do was to protect my kids throughout their lives. I never wanted them to HAVE to know how to navigate such waters in life ... but obviously that's not fair, healthy or helpful to them.. because as we all know too well, there will be trials and tribulations in a lifetime😞. As moms, we hope and we pray and we beg God not to make life hard/sad/tragic/etc for our kids .. but ultimately everyone faces sadness, hardship, and/or tragedy. I wish to God that wasn't so, but it's life. Hard for me to think of young kids (high schoolers) dealing with such heavy, tragic matter .. but obviously they do. I wish I could forever protect my own kids from anything that might break their hearts, but unfortunately I can't😭. I also saw this movie as a young teen .. I think I was maybe 14 when it came out?? Although I likely didn't 100% understand all the nuances at the time, it still heavily affected me and definitely made a lasting impression .. which has stayed with me for decades.. almost 50 years. I haven't re-watched the movie in all these years but definitely would like to now, after life has thrown such heartbreak my way..
“Buck died , and it’s like you buried all your love with him, and I don’t understand that.” Don’t know if I’ve ever been more sad from hearing a line in a movie
Beth is not strong. She avoids her feelings. She avoids confrontation and wants her superficial life back. She is offended that Connor stole it to an extent. Buck must have been just like her. She is a narcissist.
I think Buck was a loving & giving person but Beth only had an outward persona. As long as everything is “perfect” she could be the person she pretends to be & ALL is well. The Psychologist made SO many excellent points that brought about healing ❤️🩹
great performances on the subject of narcissistic personality disorder. Was the oldest also one of these?
Moore deserved the Oscar
Maybe, in a sense.
This is one time when the movie is better than the book. I don’t even think this scene is in the book
It is, but it's in reverse. She's snarly toward him and "can't stand the way you look at me with those 'Poor Beth' eyes." She makes the decision to leave him "because I won't have you wringing your hands over me like you do for him."
A devastating scene. So raw, so real.
It's time, Beth. You need to go!
I agree, yes.
Well acted by Mary Tyler Moore, playing a woman who shattered by the loss of her oldest son, appears she'll never heal from it, although her husband and youngest son are in the process of healing.
Of all the roles Beth could have chosen, she chose to be the perennial grieving mother of a deceased son
He totally flummoxed her with his honesty. And the only thing a narcissist or BPD can do is walk away
There is much brilliance in the actors portrayal. He may find another but Beth will be foremost in his mind. She WILL find another and stories of the betrayal of love of husband, death of her oldest son to negligence of the seecond
I remember MTM saying Beth was a woman "taught how to do the right thing" and she has no reference for emotion or spontaneity.
It doesn't matter if you're miserable, just so long as the neighbors don't know it.
He is right. She is not strong. She is very weak. This woman is a classic narcissist. She cares only about social image. Not her family. Her oldest son was her golden boy and "surrogate spouse". The younger son was the scapegoat. She never wanted to look at herself or change. She insisted that nothing was ever wrong with her and she refused family therapy. Even in this scene when he tells her that he doesn't love her anymore, she doesn't say a word. Doesn't fight to hang on to her family. Instead she is insulted and defeated. Goes upstairs and packs her bags and quickly leaves in a cab. She is the ultimate bully/coward that most narcissistic people are. She could dish it out, but she couldn't take it.
Spot on! Beth is just like my narcsissistic mother💯
@@tfgh521 That's unfortunate to hear that your mother is this kind of person. You deserve much better than that. Stay strong!
Hard for me because it reminds me of my marriage.
A powerful scene.....
Her only reaction is when he mentions Buck's name. She can't even comfort her husband or show him any empathy.
I can't help but feel sorry for her.
This is acting, something that today's poor excuses for actors know nothing about.
I always thought that Beth gives up too soon here, but maybe she realizes that her husband is right about her, and her only response is to leave the marriage because there's no point to it anymore. It just seems a little abrupt to me.
People like this dont change.
I don’t understand how a mother can hate her own son.
The movie and the characters are very complex. It is too easy to say Beth "hated" Conrad. Buck clearly was her favorite. The movies gives you the impression that Buck was the popular, outgoing, athletic, confident good looking son. These are readily likeable external traits that someone like Beth (who is obsessed with appearance and stability) would readily value. Conrad, on the other hand, is more introspective, thoughtful, less sure of himself and reserved. Beth was probably more attracted to Buck's qualities than those of Conrad. Ironically, Conrad actually seems like the stronger son --- He is the one who held onto the boat, wouldn't give up, and survived. I don't think Beth "hated" Conrad. I just don't think she understood him and his personality traits didn't easily meld with what Beth liked. The orderly Beth couldn't handle "mess" in her life. She's struggling with the sudden death of her favorite child and doesn't seem to have the ability to connect with her remaining child, the son who is so different from what attracts her. In some ways, I've always thought Buck and Beth were alike ---- despite their outward appearances, neither were very strong. Calvin and Conrad, on the other hand, seem quiet and reserved but, underneath that, both have much more strength to deal with problems. That's my take on the movie. It is one of my favorite films.
Yes it was not buck , it was her ! Buck was her golden child , and Conrad was her black sheep , typical
Life can be a mess, tragic and comic... Beth couldn't handle the tragedy. She was too weak to let go and feal the pain of her son's death.
blah blah thats stupid. not it at all. she simply doesnt care for others
@@elizabethbennet4791 No, it is deeper than that. She doesn't know how to show love. My uncle told me after my mom passed that she once said to him she loved all her children; she just didn't know how to show it.
Acting script director brilliant cast movie 🎥🍿
I'm so in love with Beth.
They aren't in the same room.
3.13 .... checkmate.
It took me until the last little bit of life I've beeing living to genuinely understand the unfairness of Calvin dumping all this grief on his wife.
Maybe Beth didn't grieve like her husband and her surviving son wanted. Maybe she wasn't emotionally capable of being there for the others in her family after Buck's passing, after Conrad's suicide attempt. Whatever the reason for Beth's actions after the family's tragedies, that was her journey through a troubled time, in the wake of such profound sadness.
We don't get to demand that others in our orbit "feel" in a way for which we approve. In a way, there is extreme selfishness, perhaps a type of shelfishness that weighs the same as the way that Calvin and Conrad consider Beth's emotionally distant behaviour after Buck's death and Conrad's mental health problems. Wanting another to mourn in a way that we can understand, that we approve of, completely ignores the diversity of life that each of us are due, even when sharing a space and life with others.
I didn't understand how we all deal with tragedy and sadness apart from those close to us when reading this classic in the Spring of '91. The boundaries we errect to protect ourselves during difficult times may, indeed, not be beneficial for those around us. But those boundaries are necessary tools for the person that needs them, even if those close to them may be emotionally hurt by the closing off of one's self, even if the person eventually heals to the point that they no longer need to seal themselves off from the life they are left with.
My Gawd, what a thought provoking play.
I wonder if our media is capable of this type of conversation these days.
Donald was robbed.
Robbed.
Beth is always to blame but BUT nobody thinks how selfish was Conrad trying to kill himself and completelly unsensible about his parents feelings. Beth surelly felt hurted by Conrad in some moments but everybody hate her and stand by Conrad.
Michelle, how could you blame Conrad for trying to kill himself? He's obsessed with guilt and battling insanely, trying to cope and relinquish the memories of the boating accident with his eldest brother. He couldn't help but feels responsible for his unfortunate death ever since, and the only compassionate individuals who shows empathy and caring for him is his father, Calvin and psychiatrist Burger. His mother, Beth, is a distant, aloof, unsympathetic woman who censures Conrad over the death of her favorite son. No matter how much Conrad tries to get close to her, Beth disconnects herself from him completely, which Calvin recognizes angrily during their holiday vacation in Texas. Beth has definite emotional concerns that only therapy can assist, and her maladjusted indifference makes Conrad a soulless victim deprive of the love and affection she can provide him, along with comfort and support. So Conrad is unsensible regarding his parents' feelings, as you implied? I think that analogy applies to Beth alone. Isn't it becoming Calvin, weepingly, had finally confessed to Beth who she intentionally is both as a wife and mother in this upload? The scene is one of cinema's most endearing but explosive endings, and Ordinary People richly deserved an Oscar for Best Picture in 1981.
@@isabelbeckerman9226 One of the greatest things about this movie is its restraint, because it could have easily been one scene after another of chest pounding, tear stained histrionics. The ending is so quiet that you could almost forget that you just watched nearly two hours of an implosion of the outwardly perfect suburban family. There was no other way for this movie to end, IMHO, and so there was no need for an explosive showdown between Beth and Conrad. I'd say the actual climax of this movie is Calvin nearly whispering, "I don't know if I love you anymore." I've seen this movie a few times and I've always felt like the story is just as much about Beth and Calvin's dying relationship as it is Beth and Conrad's increasingly distant one.
Beth didn’t care if Conrad lived or died.