@@Kelli2582 I was also surprised not to have realized the similarity before. They are both such emotionally gripping scenes coming from the same place.
Hutton's Freudian slip at 1:10 reveals his subconscious thought. Hirsch provoking him with " What? " is a professional guiding his patient to a realization. Beautifully acted scene.
Then 2 minutes later when Hirsch tries to steer him toward forgiving himself and Hutton almost gets there but pulls away from the inevitable truth he must confront.
For all the worthy praise given to the other actors in "Ordinary People," Judd Hirsch deserves kudos as well for his role as Dr. Berger, the patient psychiatrist who gradually pulls Conrad back from the abyss and out of the doldrums, and gives him renewed purpose to live again. A lot of psychologists and psychiatrists think that Hirsch's performance constituted one of the most realistic portraits ever offered of someone in their profession.
As someone who battled depression for many years and was hospitalized on a few occasions I can tell you that Judd Hirsch's performance is so spot-on I could swear that watching his performance was like sitting in therapy with my doctor--that's how accurate his portrayal is!!
Dr. Berger was an AMAZING doctor! He was the doctor but he listened to Conrad as a friend, a very good friend. It may have been a movie, but "Ordinary People" helped me understand a few things about myself and my family dynamics.
Haunting, the scene when he slips forgiving and the faint slow piano keys play as he gets up. Realization, awakening, grasping a distant thought that's slipping away. He gets it! Beautiful.
That's the tricky thing with therapists... they can never just TELL you what you need to figure out for yourself. And, in a day or two, he does. Conrad's Freudian slip of "I can't forgive..." is brilliant. To be forgiven, we must be forgiving. Forgives his mother, then forgives himself.
😮 Conrad's had to learn to forgive his brother for not staying on the boat that's what the doctor wanted him to figure out! He wanted Conrad to forgive his brother we're not staying on the boat Conrad couldn't forgive him he was so angry with why didn't he hang on to the boat like he did.
It’s almost 45 years later, and people are still intrigued and discussing this film. A mark of greatness. Popular sentiment, judging by the comments elsewhere, is that the MTM character was just a hateful bitch. But when I first saw the movie in 1980 to this day, I believe she loved him. She just didn’t know how to show it, she didn’t want to reexamine her feelings, and she certainly didn’t want to revisit the central tragedy in her life. For her, it was easier to ignore it all and pretend everything was fine. In a way, she was the ultimate victim.
I think your assessment is pretty spot on. MTM’s character…Beth was not an evil person. But in a way she was emotionally stunted. One thing that clued me in was her interaction with her mother. An intolerant mother who didn’t think much of psychiatry, etc. Critical and judgmental. That the appearance of things was important. That’s how Beth was raised.
Thank you for your P.O.V. It is too easy to see the Mother character as a two dimensional villian. That would also discredit MTM's work as an actress. Clearly, Beth Jarret harbors deeper wounds that we're evident, just not explained.
One of the most revealing scenes about Beth was the mall cafeteria when Calvin tries to get Beth, he and Conrad to go to a therapy family. She resists and then at one point says "this is MY family", to which Calvin gives a look of utter disbelief, the gall of her to say it's "her" family. So many great scenes in this movie. And oddly, it probably would not have been as great a hit now. Not enough violence and sex.... To me, easily one of the top 5 dramas of all time.
BettinaBalser It really is, words can't describe this film...do you have any film recommendations for me? I can't believe i haven't seen this film until last night...there has to be more gems i haven't seen.
:-) What a nice thing for you to ask. Right now I am really enthralled with a movie called YOUNG ADULT. It's sort of a dark comedy, but it resonated with me so much.
Dee Jay Conrad needs to forgive his mother, but he also needs to forgive himself. If you watch the final scene he has with Dr. Berger, in the which Conrad has his ‘breakthrough’ he finally relives the boat accident and realizes that he’s angry at Buck for getting tired, letting go of the boat and drowning and angry at himself for hanging on. Conrad finally realizes he has to ‘let himself off the hook’ for surviving and stop feeling guilt about being alive. Dr. Berger helps him to realize that he was simply stronger than Buck; he did nothing wrong, it was just a terrible accident.
same! watched it for the first time a few days ago! instantly love it. have you seen good will hunting? I think that film compares to this but I had no idea this film even existed and will forever be one of my favorites. another film that isnt incredibly psychological but that I liked from a kid is Greatest Game Ever Played
Judd Hirsch is so good, comedy and drama. Both deserves to win an Oscar. If they give it to Judd first maybe Tim Hutton’s career will fly and soared for a longer. It’s the Oscar curse. Very weird every actor wants an Oscar but when they got it, their career goes down.
Perfect example of the Freudian Slip, and two in one scene! "Even the tile in the, in the Beth . . . bathroom had to be re-grouted." And then "Christ she fired the God damn maid because she couldn't dust the living room right, if you think I'm gonna forgive--she's gonna forgive me . . ."
My dad killed himself on June 21, 2021. I’ve seen this movie so many times when my mom introduced me to this when I was about 17 in 2007? Since my dad, I’ve had to learn to forgive and not forgive for those who can’t express but blame the grief. Which is literally my mom. And I hate that, but this movie helped me cope.
Thank you for sharing this, I lost someone from suicide in 2022 and even now no matter how hard I try I can't help but fall into the trap of displacing emotions I feel toward that person onto other people sometimes. It has taken a lot of people like you who are strong enough to see through that to help me.
@@DK-tu3rv remind yourself that is not you, but them. No blame. Blaming would only make situations worse. Remind yourself that you are the better person than many around who feel the opposite and dismissive. With loss, it is feeling the emotions, but also being able to understand differences and learning to cope throughout how people are as a person. I am so sorry for your loss. Death changes so many people. Either for the better, like us, or worse in true colors showing in not so good people. Keep rising. The best thing now is that you finally understand the differences in a not so good human for who they really are. Once that step is understood, it is reminding yourself that you are the better person. You have an empath soul and the ability to walk in another person’s shoes. That empath is knowing how to handle differences and knowing the blocked not so good people, can never change. You found your change to feel, be upset, and know that is wrong. Keep your strength up high. Ps, im no doctor, lol. But with so much trauma i was able to understand the not so fortunate of people who emotionally abuse, and releasing yourself to heal in knowing you are a great person.
Judd Hirsch by had been primarily known as the guy on taxi Mary Tyler Moore was known for her work on the Dick Van Dyke show and her own respective sitcom. Who'd have figured these guys to pull up amazing dramatic rolls
i cannot believe that this movie was popular. to think that a movie about regular, 'ordinary' people talking - not a single cape in the entire picture - was both critically AND commercially adored astounds me in 2020.
Love this film. It is also has a very young and talented Elizabeth McGovern, who years later would be the mother in Downton Abbey, as his suicidal friend.
She was still a student at Julliard at the time. I have read that it was the first time ever that Julliard allowed a student to do a film during the school term. She flew to Chicagos Friday nights, and back to NYC on Sunday. Her filming was only in Saturdays. Also, she was not his suicidal friend, that was Dinah Manoff (Karen). Elizabeth played Jeanine Pratt, his love interest. And she was brilliant.
And how would Conrad have known that- unless Beth TOLD him [or made sure he was within earshot of her complaining about it]! Of course, what kind of parent would have been upset about the grout instead of wondering why their surviving child had tried to do himself in- and was willing to end her own marriage to his father for not expressing concern for Conrad AND for not sabotaging his bond with Conrad at her command!?! She didn't even say GOODBYE to either of them when she left!
And Mary Tyler Moore should have been placed in the Best Supporting Actress category, where she probably would have won. _Ordinary People_ has only one main character -- Conrad. Everyone else (MTM, Donald Sutherland, Judd Hirsch) is supporting him. There are even long stretches when MTM is absent from the screen. Sissy Spacek _(Coal Miner's Daughter)_ rightly beat her that year for the Best Actress Oscar, because Spacek was in almost every frame of her film.
I'm impressed how Dr. Berger already at this scene knew about the whole point of the movie, that the mom will never forgive him because she doesn't love him.
He has to accept he feels guilt for living when his brother died. It was why he tried to kill himself people who survive accidents that kill other people or family may develop a belief that they should have died as well. It can be very puzzling to survive an illness or accident that kills another family member and you can get caught up in the question of Why. Why did that happen that day? If we had done this or that differently would we both have survived? Why did I live? Add the reactions of other family members, after the tragic accident or illness plus the dead family member whose loss you are mourning. Creates a situation where someone may try to punish themselves for surviving. Survivor Guilt is very hard to deal with and some people kill themselves trying to even the scales.
Survivor's guilt is so real! I have suffered from it since March 20, 2005. I was teaching in Arizona when I heard on the news there was a school shooting in Minnesota. I did not know until my mother called to say that the very first school I worked at was where the shooting took place and nine people were murdered by a young man who had severe mental problems. I knew who some of the victims were, especially the teacher who was my colleague there. I was laid off two years prior due to budget cuts. The school and my colleagues, where I worked in Arizona, really looked out for me during this traumatic and tragic time. I still feel guilty about not being there and not being able to help. This has been with me for almost 16 years. On that anniversary, I shed many tears and talk to my family and friends. They have been able to help, but this will stay with me for the rest of my life. So, yes, I can totally see and feel the same as Conrad. We survived while others did not.
It's real for the oldest who is left alone after all their siblings and relatives are gone too. I've witnessed the 90 somethings saying, "Why am I still here?" It's very sad.
You all need to forgive each other? ....Oh! God! Those tears never stop falling? He thinks the only way around this is to say the mother is right! Because there’s no solution to these problems? It’s too Hard!
One of the things I just realized about this movie is everyone was heading towards healing, but Moore was kicked out of the family before the healing could be realized.
He's not wrong but also emotional abuse is still emotional abuse and so maybe the mother doesn't love him but it's no his fault she can't love. It's not his fault she doesn't know hos to love her kids enough. Also his dead brother didn't have it easy at all his brother and shoe off and big perfect. With all due respect it wouldn't put it past me of his brother was out there to end his life.. he just got caught in the cross fire.
Was Dr. Berger a psychologist or a psychiatrist cuz psychiatrists DO NOT conduct therapy sessions with their patients. Psychiatrists only provide prescriptions for medications for the the patients so I was wondering why they keep emphasizing Dr Berger as being a psychiatrist?
Things were different back then. The psychiatrist often took on dual roles, the other role being a psychologist. They would prescribe medication and also handle therapy. Now, typically, you have 2 different people when dealing with mental health issues. A psychiatrist doling out medication and a social worker or psychologist providing the "talk" therapy.
@@mindriot91_96Yes,unfortunately,that is true,as either a psychologist and or a psychiatric social worker will be doing interactive,"talk" therapy with clients/ patients.
She cant forgive him that he lived & her golden child buck died. She adored buck so if one had to die she deep inside would rather it have been conrad not buck. Even more deeply conrad got to live & buck died so she probably feels like how dare u take u want to take ur life when buck had so much to live for & died. This movie is astoundingly incredible. Also conrad has survivors guilt. He has to forgive himself that he lived & bucky died. People really go through this. It really shakes u to ur core if u survive the same boating accident that killed ur brother. It makes u think deeply why me ? What did I do that made me live & buck die? Or even could I have done something to save him. Or was I taking up more of the boat that took away from buck & thus he slipped into the water.
@@natalieps2387 I think you have the right idea. I always thought that Beth could never forgive Conrad for being born, however. I think Buck's death with Conrad makes it worse of course but I always had the feeling Beth never wanted Conrad to begin with. I believe Berger recognizes this and that is why he tells Conrad that she is only capable of so much. I believe Conrad recognizes this to some extent, at least, cognitively. He feels this is why she will never forgive him and why he is trying to get off the hook. Beth is not capable of loving Conrad for reasons unknown to us the viewer. Perhaps it explains it better in the book but I don't recall it. Conrad's father is capable of love but suppresses it for most of the story. He recognizes that Beth is not capable or dealing with the messy part of life, so he parts with her. I could be wrong but that is my interpretation.
No, the mom is an absolute bitch. You can tell she is unhappy that Conrad survived than Buck, she would’ve been happier if it was Buck who survived and Conrad died. She doesn’t love him or her husband to the extent of Buck so she’s miserable being around two people she doesn’t really like.
To be Able To help People find themselves as They journey through their Lives is The Greatest Honor I have ever had. We all come from Brokenness. The Key is to Allow God to Help us on Our Pilgrimage towards Wholeness and Healing, ❤️🩹 Because of the Poignant vignettes in Ordinary People, I realize I need to Return to My Practice. as a Family Therapist. May God bless Us All to become As Henri Nouwen (sp?), Accept ourChance for Forgiveness, and Forgive others As Well. Faithfully and Lovingly Yours, The Rev. Derrill B.Manley, PhD Practice as a Family Therapist, We all Long for Love and Forgiveness. The Key, as both Conrad and Dr Hersch realized, is To receive the Gift God longs to give us, 0:08 accepting One single Truth; We were Created to, As Henry Nouwen put it, Accept God's
These sessions are the most real depictions of therapy on film.
Timothy Hutton Jr,.- one of the best performances I have ever seen.
The Good Will Hunting "It's not your fault" scene owes a debt of gratitude to this movie.
I was just thinking that and came to say it lol Beat me a yr ago ;)
@@Kelli2582 I was also surprised not to have realized the similarity before. They are both such emotionally gripping scenes coming from the same place.
I agree. But Robin Williams made me cry. I see those smiling eyes over Will's/Matt Damon's shoulder and I'm gone.
this film was a groundbreaker and frankly deserves a lot more reviewing than good will hunting
For sure
3:07 "What did I do?" He survived. It is survivor's guilt. He needs to learn to forgive himself for surviving when his brother did not.
Hutton's Freudian slip at 1:10 reveals his subconscious thought. Hirsch provoking him with " What? " is a professional guiding his patient to a realization. Beautifully acted scene.
I noticed that too. Brilliant movie which stands the test of time.
Then 2 minutes later when Hirsch tries to steer him toward forgiving himself and Hutton almost gets there but pulls away from the inevitable truth he must confront.
Yes, Freudian Slip...
I watched this film when I was thirteen. It still remains one of my favorites.
For all the worthy praise given to the other actors in "Ordinary People," Judd Hirsch deserves kudos as well for his role as Dr. Berger, the patient psychiatrist who gradually pulls Conrad back from the abyss and out of the doldrums, and gives him renewed purpose to live again. A lot of psychologists and psychiatrists think that Hirsch's performance constituted one of the most realistic portraits ever offered of someone in their profession.
As someone who battled depression for many years and was hospitalized on a few occasions I can tell you that Judd Hirsch's performance is so spot-on I could swear that watching his performance was like sitting in therapy with my doctor--that's how accurate his portrayal is!!
this is true. But I don't know of one psychologist or psychiatrist who would openly smoke a cigarette during a session. Those days are long gone....
@@LordGreystoke This was 1980 si it was realistic.
I'd have loved to have a psychiatrist like that. Judd was awesome as Dr. Berger.
Dr. Berger was an AMAZING doctor! He was the doctor but he listened to Conrad as a friend, a very good friend. It may have been a movie, but "Ordinary People" helped me understand a few things about myself and my family dynamics.
Haunting, the scene when he slips forgiving and the faint slow piano keys play as he gets up. Realization, awakening, grasping a distant thought that's slipping away. He gets it! Beautiful.
That line, "Like she can't love you *enough*," was a life-changer for me.
That's the tricky thing with therapists... they can never just TELL you what you need to figure out for yourself. And, in a day or two, he does. Conrad's Freudian slip of "I can't forgive..." is brilliant. To be forgiven, we must be forgiving. Forgives his mother, then forgives himself.
😮 Conrad's had to learn to forgive his brother for not staying on the boat that's what the doctor wanted him to figure out! He wanted Conrad to forgive his brother we're not staying on the boat Conrad couldn't forgive him he was so angry with why didn't he hang on to the boat like he did.
That's the thing about a great therapist .. they don't heal you, they guide you to healing yourself.
Timothy Hutton brilliant performance 👏
"When Buck died it seemed like you buried all your love with him." Calvin Jarrett
💔
It’s almost 45 years later, and people are still intrigued and discussing this film. A mark of greatness. Popular sentiment, judging by the comments elsewhere, is that the MTM character was just a hateful bitch. But when I first saw the movie in 1980 to this day, I believe she loved him. She just didn’t know how to show it, she didn’t want to reexamine her feelings, and she certainly didn’t want to revisit the central tragedy in her life. For her, it was easier to ignore it all and pretend everything was fine. In a way, she was the ultimate victim.
I think your assessment is pretty spot on. MTM’s character…Beth was not an evil person. But in a way she was emotionally stunted. One thing that clued me in was her interaction with her mother. An intolerant mother who didn’t think much of psychiatry, etc. Critical and judgmental. That the appearance of things was important. That’s how Beth was raised.
Thank you for your P.O.V. It is too easy to see the Mother character as a two dimensional villian. That would also discredit MTM's work as an actress.
Clearly, Beth Jarret harbors deeper wounds that we're evident, just not explained.
Forgiveness is so powerful. Especially forgiving ourselves.
One of the most revealing scenes about Beth was the mall cafeteria when Calvin tries to get Beth, he and Conrad to go to a therapy family. She resists and then at one point says "this is MY family", to which Calvin gives a look of utter disbelief, the gall of her to say it's "her" family.
So many great scenes in this movie. And oddly, it probably would not have been as great a hit now. Not enough violence and sex.... To me, easily one of the top 5 dramas of all time.
Thank you,so much for your very accurate,realistic perspective regarding this astounding film.
Nobody ever gives enough credit to the brilliant work done by film editor Jeff Kanew on this movie.
When the Cannon cord chimes in on this scene it’s so subtle yet so powerful-
So much in common with Conrad! This movie has always meant a lot to me!
Eugene McHale The same happen to me, I feel the same way as Conrad sometimes.
Me too. Mom is Beth to a T. Dad always took her side, got beat too. I forgive her, but I’m mad at myself for wanting her to change.
Yo chill you alright out there?
Brilliant...forgiveness starts with yourself
I cried with this scene and when the father is crying at the end.
This movie is extraordinary.
BettinaBalser It really is, words can't describe this film...do you have any film recommendations for me? I can't believe i haven't seen this film until last night...there has to be more gems i haven't seen.
BettinaBalser what did he mean when he said that he figured out who should forgive who?
:-) What a nice thing for you to ask. Right now I am really enthralled with a movie called YOUNG ADULT. It's sort of a dark comedy, but it resonated with me so much.
Dee Jay Conrad needs to forgive his mother, but he also needs to forgive himself. If you watch the final scene he has with Dr. Berger, in the which Conrad has his ‘breakthrough’ he finally relives the boat accident and realizes that he’s angry at Buck for getting tired, letting go of the boat and drowning and angry at himself for hanging on. Conrad finally realizes he has to ‘let himself off the hook’ for surviving and stop feeling guilt about being alive. Dr. Berger helps him to realize that he was simply stronger than Buck; he did nothing wrong, it was just a terrible accident.
@@truthseek3017 Shoot the Moon, Two for the Road, Charade, Marvin's Room, Scarecrow.
This movie is a life changer..makes us look at our lives!
maybe my favorite movie of all of them...
same! watched it for the first time a few days ago! instantly love it. have you seen good will hunting? I think that film compares to this but I had no idea this film even existed and will forever be one of my favorites.
another film that isnt incredibly psychological but that I liked from a kid is Greatest Game Ever Played
“Kiddo.” So sweet
Alike River Phoenix just 10 years before ;)
Judd Hirsch is so good, comedy and drama. Both deserves to win an Oscar. If they give it to Judd first maybe Tim Hutton’s career will fly and soared for a longer. It’s the Oscar curse. Very weird every actor wants an Oscar but when they got it, their career goes down.
It hits like a bullet! I always feels like i am the rotten kid!
Perfect example of the Freudian Slip, and two in one scene! "Even the tile in the, in the Beth . . . bathroom had to be re-grouted." And then "Christ she fired the God damn maid because she couldn't dust the living room right, if you think I'm gonna forgive--she's gonna forgive me . . ."
this stuff happens all the time while working stuff out
My dad killed himself on June 21, 2021. I’ve seen this movie so many times when my mom introduced me to this when I was about 17 in 2007? Since my dad, I’ve had to learn to forgive and not forgive for those who can’t express but blame the grief. Which is literally my mom. And I hate that, but this movie helped me cope.
Thank you for sharing this, I lost someone from suicide in 2022 and even now no matter how hard I try I can't help but fall into the trap of displacing emotions I feel toward that person onto other people sometimes. It has taken a lot of people like you who are strong enough to see through that to help me.
@@DK-tu3rv remind yourself that is not you, but them. No blame. Blaming would only make situations worse. Remind yourself that you are the better person than many around who feel the opposite and dismissive. With loss, it is feeling the emotions, but also being able to understand differences and learning to cope throughout how people are as a person. I am so sorry for your loss. Death changes so many people. Either for the better, like us, or worse in true colors showing in not so good people. Keep rising. The best thing now is that you finally understand the differences in a not so good human for who they really are. Once that step is understood, it is reminding yourself that you are the better person. You have an empath soul and the ability to walk in another person’s shoes. That empath is knowing how to handle differences and knowing the blocked not so good people, can never change. You found your change to feel, be upset, and know that is wrong. Keep your strength up high. Ps, im no doctor, lol. But with so much trauma i was able to understand the not so fortunate of people who emotionally abuse, and releasing yourself to heal in knowing you are a great person.
Pure art.....such class
Judd Hirsch by had been primarily known as the guy on taxi Mary Tyler Moore was known for her work on the Dick Van Dyke show and her own respective sitcom. Who'd have figured these guys to pull up amazing dramatic rolls
i cannot believe that this movie was popular.
to think that a movie about regular, 'ordinary' people talking - not a single cape in the entire picture - was both critically AND commercially adored astounds me in 2020.
@T T I think he was being facetious.
Haha :)
Yep. Goes to show how far our artistic standards have fallen.
No one wants to feel anymore
@@darth6129 The phones will feel for us now. Sad but true.
my bathroom needs to be regrouted
it's my favorite movie ever
timeless
Love this film. It is also has a very young and talented Elizabeth McGovern, who years later would be the mother in Downton Abbey, as his suicidal friend.
Elizabeth McGovern played the schoolgirl Conrad likes. The suicidal friend was played by someone else. I want to say Dinah Manoff.
@@marjoriepreston6620 Yup, that was Karen. She ultimately committed suicide.
She was still a student at Julliard at the time. I have read that it was the first time ever that Julliard allowed a student to do a film during the school term. She flew to Chicagos Friday nights, and back to NYC on Sunday. Her filming was only in Saturdays. Also, she was not his suicidal friend, that was Dinah Manoff (Karen). Elizabeth played Jeanine Pratt, his love interest. And she was brilliant.
No she wasn’t the suicidal friend. She was the GF
Timothy Hutton disappear great actor 🏆
"Even the tile in the beth...bathroom had to be re-grouted"
Brilliant catch.
@@ionthetarget what does it mean?
@@lipotrimloser Beth needed to be tiled over....
@@ee-mv3es lol :)
And how would Conrad have known that- unless Beth TOLD him [or made sure he was within earshot of her complaining about it]!
Of course, what kind of parent would have been upset about the grout instead of wondering why their surviving child had tried to do himself in- and was willing to end her own marriage to his father for not expressing concern for Conrad AND for not sabotaging his bond with Conrad at her command!?! She didn't even say GOODBYE to either of them when she left!
Timothy Hutton should’ve won for best actor. He was in almost every scene
Agreed.
I think he did win! And yes, it was deserved.
But Sutherland had top billing, so technically he was the lead actort. Sutherland was a known entity, Hutton was not.
And Mary Tyler Moore should have been placed in the Best Supporting Actress category, where she probably would have won. _Ordinary People_ has only one main character -- Conrad. Everyone else (MTM, Donald Sutherland, Judd Hirsch) is supporting him. There are even long stretches when MTM is absent from the screen. Sissy Spacek _(Coal Miner's Daughter)_ rightly beat her that year for the Best Actress Oscar, because Spacek was in almost every frame of her film.
This is an excellent movie
This scene is my life.
I'm impressed how Dr. Berger already at this scene knew about the whole point of the movie, that the mom will never forgive him because she doesn't love him.
He has to accept he feels guilt for living when his brother died. It was why he tried to kill himself people who survive accidents that kill other people or family may develop a belief that they should have died as well.
It can be very puzzling to survive an illness or accident that kills another family member and you can get caught up in the question of Why. Why did that happen that day? If we had done this or that differently would we both have survived? Why did I live?
Add the reactions of other family members, after the tragic accident or illness plus the dead family member whose loss you are mourning. Creates a situation where someone may try to punish themselves for surviving.
Survivor Guilt is very hard to deal with and some people kill themselves trying to even the scales.
Survivor's guilt is so real! I have suffered from it since March 20, 2005. I was teaching in Arizona when I heard on the news there was a school shooting in Minnesota. I did not know until my mother called to say that the very first school I worked at was where the shooting took place and nine people were murdered by a young man who had severe mental problems. I knew who some of the victims were, especially the teacher who was my colleague there. I was laid off two years prior due to budget cuts. The school and my colleagues, where I worked in Arizona, really looked out for me during this traumatic and tragic time. I still feel guilty about not being there and not being able to help. This has been with me for almost 16 years. On that anniversary, I shed many tears and talk to my family and friends. They have been able to help, but this will stay with me for the rest of my life. So, yes, I can totally see and feel the same as Conrad. We survived while others did not.
It's real for the oldest who is left alone after all their siblings and relatives are gone too. I've witnessed the 90 somethings saying, "Why am I still here?" It's very sad.
@@triciajohansen7124My Prayers for you and your family and friends.
Judd was nominated for an Oscar.Supporting actor. Timothy was also nominated and won.
Good Will Hunting must have been influenced by this scene
this hits too close to home
You all need to forgive each other? ....Oh! God! Those tears never stop falling? He thinks the only way around this is to say the mother is right! Because there’s no solution to these problems? It’s too Hard!
great scenes
"... even the tile in the the beth... bathroom..."
One of the things I just realized about this movie is everyone was heading towards healing, but Moore was kicked out of the family before the healing could be realized.
She can’t heal,because she plays a narcissist
what s... did you pull?
i pulled a lot of s.... when I was young
U sometimes can't hold something against someone for not being Wat you want them to feel
Anyone noticed he meant to say bath but said 'Beth' first?!
Time's up. Hate that.
What a perfect movie breaks me
maybe the "therapist" had never learned narcissistic personality disorder traits. Apparently the director had
He's not wrong but also emotional abuse is still emotional abuse and so maybe the mother doesn't love him but it's no his fault she can't love. It's not his fault she doesn't know hos to love her kids enough.
Also his dead brother didn't have it easy at all his brother and shoe off and big perfect.
With all due respect it wouldn't put it past me of his brother was out there to end his life.. he just got caught in the cross fire.
Was Dr. Berger a psychologist or a psychiatrist cuz psychiatrists DO NOT conduct therapy sessions with their patients. Psychiatrists only provide prescriptions for medications for the the patients so I was wondering why they keep emphasizing Dr Berger as being a psychiatrist?
If you got the money they got the time!💰 Great movie
Things were different back then. The psychiatrist often took on dual roles, the other role being a psychologist. They would prescribe medication and also handle therapy. Now, typically, you have 2 different people when dealing with mental health issues. A psychiatrist doling out medication and a social worker or psychologist providing the "talk" therapy.
@@mindriot91_96 Thank you!
@@mindriot91_96Yes,unfortunately,that is true,as either a psychologist and or a psychiatric social worker will be doing interactive,"talk" therapy with clients/ patients.
Did she ask for forgiveness?
Psychology is no substitute for God.
They are not equal. Psychology is more important.
I don't understand this scene. Does he realize his mom can't forgive him for trying to hurt himself.
She cant forgive him that he lived & her golden child buck died. She adored buck so if one had to die she deep inside would rather it have been conrad not buck. Even more deeply conrad got to live & buck died so she probably feels like how dare u take u want to take ur life when buck had so much to live for & died. This movie is astoundingly incredible. Also conrad has survivors guilt. He has to forgive himself that he lived & bucky died. People really go through this. It really shakes u to ur core if u survive the same boating accident that killed ur brother. It makes u think deeply why me ? What did I do that made me live & buck die? Or even could I have done something to save him. Or was I taking up more of the boat that took away from buck & thus he slipped into the water.
@@natalieps2387 I think you have the right idea. I always thought that Beth could never forgive Conrad for being born, however. I think Buck's death with Conrad makes it worse of course but I always had the feeling Beth never wanted Conrad to begin with. I believe Berger recognizes this and that is why he tells Conrad that she is only capable of so much. I believe Conrad recognizes this to some extent, at least, cognitively. He feels this is why she will never forgive him and why he is trying to get off the hook. Beth is not capable of loving Conrad for reasons unknown to us the viewer. Perhaps it explains it better in the book but I don't recall it. Conrad's father is capable of love but suppresses it for most of the story. He recognizes that Beth is not capable or dealing with the messy part of life, so he parts with her. I could be wrong but that is my interpretation.
No, the mom is an absolute bitch. You can tell she is unhappy that Conrad survived than Buck, she would’ve been happier if it was Buck who survived and Conrad died. She doesn’t love him or her husband to the extent of Buck so she’s miserable being around two people she doesn’t really like.
His realization in the scene is that HE can't forgive himself, for surviving.
whom
To be Able To help People find themselves as They journey through their Lives is The Greatest Honor I have ever had. We all come from
Brokenness. The Key is to Allow God
to Help us on Our Pilgrimage towards Wholeness and Healing, ❤️🩹
Because of the Poignant vignettes in Ordinary People, I realize I need to Return to My Practice. as a Family
Therapist.
May God bless Us All to become As Henri Nouwen (sp?), Accept ourChance for Forgiveness, and Forgive others As Well.
Faithfully and Lovingly Yours,
The Rev. Derrill B.Manley, PhD
Practice as a Family Therapist, We
all Long for Love and Forgiveness.
The Key, as both Conrad and Dr Hersch realized, is To receive the Gift God longs to give us, 0:08
accepting One single Truth; We were Created to, As Henry Nouwen
put it, Accept God's