God, I love this movie. It spoke to me so much growing up. It still does. I feel for everyone in it. I know its just a reflection of real life, but I pray for all our healing.
This scene (and the entire film) are simply brilliant. A lesson in how to construct a film, to take an audience on a journey of emotions in two hours, and leaving the ending uplifting yet ambiguous. Amazing.
It just hit me for the first time what a big commitment that line was. Are you really my friend? Count on it. To decide you are someone's friend, to commit to being there for a person, the talks, the emotional connection. In that moment he decided and he was all in. Amazing.
one of my all time favorite scenes in one of my all time favorite movies. Wonderful and deeply touching- I still cry and feel it like it was the first time.
I wonder if Timothy Hutton was drawing on some experience in his life for this role...just astounding to watch him here and feel this scene...tears me up every time...I only wish Judd Hirsh had won an oscar as well....
all of them deserved Oscars. I don't even think Sutherland was nominated and his character's pathos carried the film, and it was an acting master class.
I spent some of my teen years in Highland Park....(my father's home town)....the overlook at the Central Avenue in H.P. was near the beginning sequence of the movie.
I can understand why many people can relate to this movie & scene for different reasons. But I have to ask are there therapists as dedicated as Berger...?? This scene gets me every time even 37 years later..
Yes, there are! I've had a couple of those during my rebuilding time, and I had the chance to be there for some people when I became a therapist a few years after that. It is all about being there 100%, and a deep love for a human being who is struggling to live fully, it's being present.
This appears to be a more humanistic style of psychodynamic therapy. Your therapist isn’t your friend, but they should hold unconditional positive regard for you, and be in the profession because they care. Unfortunately there has been a large shift towards cognitive and behavior focused approaches, with the idea that more in-depth therapies which dig into relations and the past are beating around the bush. When it comes to relational traumas, treating surface level symptoms and cognitions won’t resolve the pain of complex and relational traumas, or undo the lived experiences that form maladaptive schemas. You can balance the use of these approaches, but too often these days have I met therapists who shame clients for complex traumas and would prefer we use a CBT ‘wise mind’. There’s a time and place, but cognitive behavioral therapy has been pushed in many places it doesn’t belong, due to the ease with which it can be taught, manualized for studies, and sold as “evidence based”. Decades of research have shown that the therapeutic relationship ultimately plays the most important role in whether and how therapy works. Feeling safe in that relationship allows us to relax enough to feel and explore, and to heal through corrective experiences. Berger is a psychiatrist apparently (medical doctors held the primary role of therapists once upon a time, before non-medical training and licensure entered the scene), but despite Conrad’s repeated suggestions that he needs something, Berger’s is focused allowing the feelings. Yeah they hurt. Even more when you try to run and push those feelings down in fact.
POWERFUL SCENE,now I know why Judd Hirsch and Timothy Hutton were nominated for best supporting actor in this great movie 🎬 Ordinary People directed by Robert Redford.
Timothy Hutton really should have been nominated for best actor, it's his story that drives the film, but the studio (or whoever makes these decisions) probably knew he'd never beat Robert DeNiro for Raging Bulll and put in for the supporting category. But Timothy is amazing especially for a debut performance.
@Coco-zu9ob absolutely and he should of been nominated for Falcon and the Snowman alongside Sean Penn. Thought he should of been nominated for Q & A alongside Nick Nolte too.
I’m not ready for any of this. Basically, Conrad is dealing with a lot of feelings, emotions, and thoughts that he doesn’t know how to handle. He learned how to reach out to someone he trusts when these feelings and emotions come up. He contacted burger, and he was pacing all around back and forth. His language is messed up and disjointed because hes having trouble letting his thoughts out and trusting. Burger is trying his best to understand him and help him challenge the thoughts without asking him to clarify. Re-enacting that moment when the boat incident happened to help him process the trauma. I cried a bit when he said, “i’m scared”. As someone whos blocked out negative feelings for a long time, then having to face them… its really scary. They’re a lot to handle. Its overload… more than what your mind is used to.
The psychologist is not his friend, he is the guide to Conrad's healing. At the end Conrad and Calvin become bonded as father and son. Conrad is a strong person, and Calvin is a strong father, and after the facade of the emptiness of their lives is erased both live life in truth and reality.
True, but then all we’d have is a blurb in the local paper, at best, and not on Oscar winning movie ;)....but yeah, sometimes “artistic license “ seems to insult intelligence
God, I love this movie. It spoke to me so much growing up. It still does. I feel for everyone in it. I know its just a reflection of real life, but I pray for all our healing.
Beautiful action. I'm not quite there yet, but I tend to get to the point where I can pray for the healing all of us too.
This scene (and the entire film) are simply brilliant. A lesson in how to construct a film, to take an audience on a journey of emotions in two hours, and leaving the ending uplifting yet ambiguous. Amazing.
"You saw her once and now you wanna take her on too" So many great lines in this extraordinary movie.
This was such an important movie for me because I had a horrible adolescence with my peers. The pain I felt was enormous.
Yes...I had a sister die while I was in high school.....this movie hit home for me and still does 40 years later...not many people understand
Judd Hirsch was incredible in this....
It just hit me for the first time what a big commitment that line was. Are you really my friend? Count on it. To decide you are someone's friend, to commit to being there for a person, the talks, the emotional connection. In that moment he decided and he was all in. Amazing.
The look on Dr Bergers face when Conrad tells him Karen killed herself always gets me
Super powerful scene!
one of my all time favorite scenes in one of my all time favorite movies. Wonderful and deeply touching- I still cry and feel it like it was the first time.
Pull your brother off of life support and tell me i do not get this movie
I saw Ordinary People during its first theatrical release. Great film, and relevant for discussion almost 45 years later.
I wonder if Timothy Hutton was drawing on some experience in his life for this role...just astounding to watch him here and feel this scene...tears me up every time...I only wish Judd Hirsh had won an oscar as well....
Well yeah!!! His Dad died of Liver Cancer in 1979 at the age of 45, so yeah I think he was drawing from that.
Hutton claimed more than once that his father's death played no part in his performance. Hutton is not a "method" actor--actually, he is self-taught.
The loss of his father, Jim Hutton, had to have a HUGE part. Timothy may not admit to it, but I think it had a great deal.
all of them deserved Oscars. I don't even think Sutherland was nominated and his character's pathos carried the film, and it was an acting master class.
I agree wholeheartedly!
Judd Hirsh was also brilliant ❤
They filmed this in Lake Forest ( where I grew up ) My high school and coral teacher were in it. I love ❤️ this movie.
I grew up in Lake Forest too. My next door neighbor is in the movie.
I spent some of my teen years in Highland Park....(my father's home town)....the overlook at the Central Avenue in H.P. was near the beginning sequence of the movie.
I can understand why many people can relate to this movie & scene for different reasons. But I have to ask are there therapists as dedicated as Berger...?? This scene gets me every time even 37 years later..
Yes, there are! I've had a couple of those during my rebuilding time, and I had the chance to be there for some people when I became a therapist a few years after that. It is all about being there 100%, and a deep love for a human being who is struggling to live fully, it's being present.
@@jesusarteaga3563 That's Beautiful ❤
They’re rent anymore
This appears to be a more humanistic style of psychodynamic therapy.
Your therapist isn’t your friend, but they should hold unconditional positive regard for you, and be in the profession because they care. Unfortunately there has been a large shift towards cognitive and behavior focused approaches, with the idea that more in-depth therapies which dig into relations and the past are beating around the bush. When it comes to relational traumas, treating surface level symptoms and cognitions won’t resolve the pain of complex and relational traumas, or undo the lived experiences that form maladaptive schemas. You can balance the use of these approaches, but too often these days have I met therapists who shame clients for complex traumas and would prefer we use a CBT ‘wise mind’. There’s a time and place, but cognitive behavioral therapy has been pushed in many places it doesn’t belong, due to the ease with which it can be taught, manualized for studies, and sold as “evidence based”.
Decades of research have shown that the therapeutic relationship ultimately plays the most important role in whether and how therapy works. Feeling safe in that relationship allows us to relax enough to feel and explore, and to heal through corrective experiences. Berger is a psychiatrist apparently (medical doctors held the primary role of therapists once upon a time, before non-medical training and licensure entered the scene), but despite Conrad’s repeated suggestions that he needs something, Berger’s is focused allowing the feelings. Yeah they hurt. Even more when you try to run and push those feelings down in fact.
Its such a brilliant scene and movie in general.
That look on poor Conrad's face at 2:45 gets me every time!
"It is good." "You can count on it."
POWERFUL SCENE,now I know why Judd Hirsch and Timothy Hutton were nominated for best supporting actor in this great movie 🎬 Ordinary People directed by Robert Redford.
Timothy Hutton really should have been nominated for best actor, it's his story that drives the film, but the studio (or whoever makes these decisions) probably knew he'd never beat Robert DeNiro for Raging Bulll and put in for the supporting category. But Timothy is amazing especially for a debut performance.
@Coco-zu9ob absolutely and he should of been nominated for Falcon and the Snowman alongside Sean Penn. Thought he should of been nominated for Q & A alongside Nick Nolte too.
@@GODLETMEWINAMEN I'll have to check out those movies. 🙂
Truly amazing scene
It Hurts to be mad at him......WOW
Still amazing to watch
We love this cast !!!
I’m not ready for any of this.
Basically, Conrad is dealing with a lot of feelings, emotions, and thoughts that he doesn’t know how to handle. He learned how to reach out to someone he trusts when these feelings and emotions come up. He contacted burger, and he was pacing all around back and forth. His language is messed up and disjointed because hes having trouble letting his thoughts out and trusting. Burger is trying his best to understand him and help him challenge the thoughts without asking him to clarify. Re-enacting that moment when the boat incident happened to help him process the trauma.
I cried a bit when he said, “i’m scared”.
As someone whos blocked out negative feelings for a long time, then having to face them… its really scary. They’re a lot to handle. Its overload… more than what your mind is used to.
Robert Redford is a great director
Totally agree- and a great actor as well. Brilliant in “The Last Castle “ and so many other movies.
Mindblowing.
The psychologist is not his friend, he is the guide to Conrad's healing. At the end Conrad and Calvin become bonded as father and son. Conrad is a strong person, and Calvin is a strong father, and after the facade of the emptiness of their lives is erased both live life in truth and reality.
I can’t imagine the weight of what Connie was feeling
Beth would have stayed with the boat too. So many make her the convenient villain.
sad
unrealistic scene you would be told to call 9-11 or wait til your appointment
True, but then all we’d have is a blurb in the local paper, at best, and not on Oscar winning movie ;)....but yeah, sometimes “artistic license “ seems to insult intelligence
Cynic
NOPE, you call your therapist or psychologist on their cell phone and they call you back on an emergency basis.
@@3tigs great answer for today, but what do you do in 1980 when this was filmed?
This is a film, art, not a public service announcement.
this scene wipes me every time........sooooooo good. "Good Will Hunting" made a lame attempt at Dr/Patient relationship....could never be like this
Couldn't agree more. I never believed Robin Williams portrayal as a therapist. He just came across as fake.