You’re the same age as myself! Cool. I drink lots of water which hydrates me and I believe keeps my organs and skin in better condition. Skin care is important too. 👍
Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Great video! For guys over 50 (and over 60) this message is even more important. Take great care of your body, mind, and spirit. Have your finances in order. Do the things that bring you joy. Travel solo. If you are not married, stay unmarried (you can still have great intimate relationships without inviting state laws into your life a.k.a. Divorce laws). Whatever you do, DO NOT CHASE anyone. Ever. Many women will test you for your attention, time and resources. Have strong boundaries and an abundance mindset. Stay safe out there!
You know man was made for woman and woman for man it's dirty shame that it's come down to this for you who have been divorced by your wives abandoned and the whoremongers and home Wreckers have destroyed your life it's a shame because I wanted to just get married again find a good woman to have a partner and a helpmate in life simple right but you know your advice leads people straight to hell because simply put God has standards that were supposed to live by unfortunately those simple standards seems almost impossible now to find a mate without premarital sex because you guys are advertise stay single and enjoy women
@@CimotaTJ Jesus is real in the Bible is true get saved today. The New World Order is here it's coming it's the platform for the Antichrist to be saved confess in the name of Jesus that you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God that he died and was buried but resurrected on the third day according to the scriptures and your faith will be counted to you as righteousness you will be adopted into the body of Christ and you will see salvation. The alternative is Eternal damnation don't wait
As a 51 year old man, I’ve learned that you cannot force someone to like you or love you. The worst thing you can do is change who are just so you are liked. You need to be who you are and the person you’re with should like you and want to be with you as you are. Then and only then can you be free of all the bs stress of trying to impress some one. Don’t be someone else, be you and only you.
I am 51 as well. Just started dating again. I read tons of books, watch the dating coaches, and what I find works is exactly what you said. Just be yourself, go with the attitude that you are going to have fun. I don't try to impress. Just have fun, be myself, and if they like you, fine, if not, there seems to be a lot of single women these days. Just move on. But I'm hear to tell you it works. Obviously, you kind of need to have your shit together mentally, physically, financially etc. But some of the stories women tell me about the men in the dating pool are hilarious.
I'm married 24 years and this is solid advice for the single guys! You definitely need to work on yourself first before doing anything else and good things will come to you
A woman once shared with me a secret she said she wasn't supposed to tell me. She said the more you love us the less we will love you. The less you love us the more we will love you. Master this and you will master women. I made this change at age 47 and now women find me irresistible and some even get obsessed. So strange that this works. It's the complete opposite of who I was. I used to give all my heart to women and it only got me cheated on.
That is 60% true. Women and men love to be loved. Many women want a Chad, a super attractive 9/10 man. But Chad ignores them. On the other hand a 7/10 handsome man who loves them is not good enough. And they really hate average men.
I was thinking the same and in fact I think our focus should be to work on ourselves in terms of career, education, fitness, nutrition and hobbies. Full stop.
If it's of any interest, a famous Russian poet Alexandr Pushkin has already made this important observation and put it into his "Yevgenyi Onegin" back in 1831. The only bad thing is we keep forgetting the invaluable advice. Thank you for the video.
Beware the honeymoon phase. It happens quick and is gone. Those little pockets of magic fade. If you not ready to deal with what comes after the honeymoon dont start something you will regret.
Spot on! We should Never look for a woman to complete our lives but rather to compliment the great life we already have. Live the best life we can and be the best version of who we truly are, and it will attract the right kind of woman and friends. Live life boldly, proudly, and with confidence in who we are!!
I'm 55 and I have been chasing! I'm on all the apps getting nowhere. I already dress nice so I've got that going for me. I really took in what you said and I'm dropping the apps, and living my life! Thank you. I am now a subscriber
Completely avoid dating apps. There are too many low value trash 🗑 people there. Get out in the real world. As a woman you’d never find me on dating apps because I’ve never been on them.
When i used to be on dating apps, I would ask the usual get-to-know-you questions when I connected with a female. If i asked he 3 questions without her asking me a question. I'd straight up ghost her and go on to the next.
Since I was a kid I've always used the 50/50 policy. I'll approach and give 50% to the woman as far as interest and such. If I don't get 50% back, I'm off to healthier choices. Always works.
One of the most important things said in this video - is that a relationship cannot make you happy. It can enhance what’s already there, but will not fill that void…..in fact I would argue that if you’re in a bad place getting into a relationship could make things worse. You will in all probability project those insecurities onto your new partner and that never ends well. At 60 I’ve been through pretty much everything when it comes to relationships - but learning this early on changed everything. Once you get to that place of inner peace and contentment, that brings confidence. It alters the way you interact with women, and more importantly it changes the way women interact with you….
Relationships take energy - even casual friendships, and sport teams, musical ensembles, comedy troupes... When both people put energy in there is a synergy that makes the relationship grow organically, becoming more than the sum of the people added together. So if you're interested in a woman who is putting nearly *no energy* into the relationship, or just barely enough to string you along, let her go. In my experience she'll tend to put in less and less over time, until it's like you're trying to water a plant that can't grow because it's not getting any sunlight. The relationship will not grow - even at the level of friendship - and will develop into a parasitic situation where she's just feeding off the energy you put in. Find someone more mature and attentive who also appreciates the spark that comes from reciprocity.
We all become desirable when we mature and put ourselves first, confidence is interesting and stimulating and women die for it. Pursue but don't ever chase
Outstanding post! High value men value themselves first. Do not chase, do not pedalisize, do NOT reward a sh!t test with attention. Set your standards to reflect your priorities and be prepared to walk away from any woman. Peace men.
Human nature is people, especially women, do what they want, when they want and with whom they want. It doesn’t matter how busy they say they are, what their job is, etc. When they want to make time, when they want to be with someone they do it. This goes back to what I said in a previous comment for a different video. The best thing that a man can do is to be confident in his personal energy, present himself well and FFS take care of his skin 🤣🤣🤣. Don’t project as needy, don’t project as helpless. When women want a man they find a way to get him just like shoes or sushi. They have their ways.
Sir. Best male advice video ever. From a 54yr old who's 27yr marriage has ended so I'm in the dating game, this video is a superb guide. Thanks for putting me and a lot of the male species, on the right track!
Absolutely right!!! I listened to everything you said and very much spot on, I'm in my 40s now and I think everyone deserve better, can't be chasing women at this age of my life and not staying focused. Please keep them coming. 👍👍
Yup! I am now 49 and chased lots of women , lucky me I never wanted to get married and my only son is now 18. My focus now is to grow my health and wellness global business. I don’t need sex or relationships to feel happy. There’s more to life than sex.
Hi John - Your topic really hit home with me. I recently had to end a relationship where I was beginning to do all of the work. I really liked the lady, and in some ways I still do, but it was time to move on. It hurt, but I no longer could all of the lifting. Funny how so many women say they want a decent guy and a gentleman but wind-up chasing them away. Peace.
If the man is doing all the lifting after a few months, she doesn't see the man as high value. Look for signs early of high attraction. It's a crucial bit of data. You'll pay the "Simp tax" constantly if she feels she's settling.
They want a decent guy after they sped their best and youngest years and emotions on some shitheads. They don't feel a "decent guy" deserves them until they are too old and unatractive when only a "decent" guy would take them out of compassion which they know the guys they gave their best years to would never have.
Great advice…relationships are not easy married or single. First things first take care of yourself stay healthy, always exercise at all ages. Don’t be selfish but remember what do you want in a relationship, there will always be give and take…I’m 65 and married and still learning. There’s a old saying “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved” We learn from being in a relationship hopefully we grow wiser and smarter. Good Luck on future relationships guys…..☮️✌️☮️
Married 24 years and at 51 I am still learning. As you said the key is to stay healthy and focus on taking care of yourself. Its easy to let yourself go and take each other for granted. The COVID BS got me to reevaluate everything in my life, including my health and marriage. Lost 50 lbs, got back in shape working out 3-4X a week, taking some time off and getting involved in hobbies again. You need to live with a purpose and have confidence. I have both back. Forget the "happy wife, happy life" BS. If the main breadwinner is not healthy and happy, the household is going to go to sh%t fast. Told my wife and teenage son to get back to work and get jobs since I'm buying a Harley this year....
I don't get it. I keep hearing don't chase and they will run to you. That doesn't happen to me. Im now 63. I still go out, but not like in my 20s. I was the most active then about going to restaurants and especially to clubs to hear live music. I was too shy to ask women out--and they certainly didn't chase me
@@clydekimsey7503 Well you have to have the confidence to be a man and to approach women. You need to let them know you are interested. You ask them out for dates, and show them a good time. Be yourself. Once you take them out a couple of times, and if you do things right, then you let them chase you. But you still have to reciprocate to a point. It's just a mindset.
Great advice! I am going to focus on setting up my online business and put full concentration on it for the next 6 months or so. Not gonna get distracted by women, friends and negative co-workers and relatives.
Thanks for the advice. Completely different dating world being recently divorced after almost 30 years of (faithful yet unhappy) marriage. Basic instincts are the same but a lot of the tools and vehicles are radically different. Learned some of the same things you mentioned in the last two years of separation preceding the final divorce. The most important lessons were understanding what I did wrong, knowing my high social value, and therefore believing that I am in a better place (and will do much better in a future relationship if it happens). The challenges now are letting the dust settle, finding my way, and adapting to a new world that relies too much (IMO) on social media. In the mean time just making the best of my circumstances starting today on business travel in sunny San Diego. Have a great day!
@@GUITARTIME2024 Well, maybe...it could be brutal, but I believe if someone has to focus on what they want and not be misdirected they could end up finding a life partner. Well, women in The Philippines are the same as in the other countries, but if you will find the good one, it's like winning the lottery for a lifetime.
@@trixielee3476 bingo- used to work with a girl who was just brutally honest about how many older men come to their country and get PLAYED. She explained that females over there are taught how to get to America via some "GI" soldier or some other guy she laughed at how so many of her friends know the ropes, she swears out that is not what she did to the poor little guy she is married to who is an officer though just saying women, men - we all get hipped to each others tactics
A high-value woman is one that IS NOT expensive but is there for you during the simple things in life. My girlfriend volunteers to come over when I need to do yard work. Very admirable trait.
I grew up pretty introverted. So I never chased girls. One day in my 30's a buddy of mine asked me what I do to get so many women. I told him "nothing". He laughed but I literally meant it. Be receptive and initiate the date or the number exchange when the conversation starts to go dry. They will put themselves in your orbit and make eye contact and touch you or try to to talk to you about any stupid thing. Just be calm and laugh at her
@@clintkantor I'm 40 as well. It sounds like we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I should probably mention that I was not shy but rather just didn't care enough about having friends to try and make them. They typically gravitated towards me because I was kind and open but aloof and chill. I don't know if maybe my looks helped or not but introversion doesn't always mean awkward and timid. Being awkward and timid can really turn off the ladies. So I can't speak on your experiences but I can tell you that your value as a man does not hinge upon your success with women. Nikola Tesla never had a girlfriend and he pretty much invented the industrial world. Just keep that in mind. Focus on your life and purpose and let the women go. Not everyone is meant for a relationship and that's okay. We need people who do more than just make babies
@@clintkantor well brother I can say that if you feel like the same kid stuck inside you then that could be the reason why. Women like men.. you have to let that boy go. It's okay to change and be the man you want to be. You give yourself permission to become what you already are. You don't wait for others to give it to you. To become the man you want to be you have to understand that you already are that man.. the difference is that now you have to own it and behave think and respond accordingly.. no apologies no tolerance for disrespect. Looks goes a long way but even the most good looking men still had to self actualize themselves into the men that they are before they could get women. You could be Brad Pitt but if you feel like a little boy with no value then women will sense that as weakness and overlook you. It's not so much about looks as it is your attitude about yourself and what you bring to the table.. am I getting you right? Or am I off a little? I may not understand what you're saying..are you saying that you can't get women because you're not good looking or that you don't get women because you don't have confidence? Both? Neither?
@@clintkantor well if you're a late bloomer then I would say that your best days are ahead of you. Make the best of them by becoming the man you know you are meant to be... And if that includes not changing at all because you're happy with who and what you are and do, then don't change. Just appreciate life and what you do have and be yourself unapologetically. Who cares if you're not the best with women? That's not what makes a man a good man. If you want to do more or be better then just make the necessary changes and moves a little more each day and be consistent over time. Consistency plus time beats hard work every time. It's never too late to build your business, build your body, build your house, build your network, or build your relationship. All it takes is action. Consistent action. Women find raw unwaivering determination to be the most sexy quality in a man.. that's a fact. I don't know if you had a father around to tell you this as a kid but you really can be anything you want to be. It's cliche but true. Why? Because you will not want to be something that you are not already designed to be. If it's in your heart to get married then you will get married. But you have to face your fears and take action.
I grew up introverted too, and never found a way or real desire to move out of introversion. I was fortunate to have many beneficial attributes that might suggest women would be attracted (tall, good looking, intelligent, talented, Ivy League education, good job, sense of humor, etc). HOWEVER, I never found it easy to meet women and usually was quite frustrated with no girlfriend. You describe how they will initiate through eye contact, touching, or talking about just "any stupid thing". None of this ever happened to me. If I tried very hard and made 100% of the effort, I could sometimes meet a female and had some brief relationships. Sometimes I read comments like yours which describe women easily all over you and making it so obvious and easy, and none of this ever made any sense to me because I've never seen it happen like that.
@@KpxUrz5745 well maybe the problem is that you're not a problem like me.. I've always felt that women sense that they can have fun withe and that I won't hold them to a high standard or judge them. Probably because I'm low class and don't check off as many boxes as you do. So maybe they tend to hold you to a higher standard than they hold me because they expect more from you as they just see me as a fun time but they see you as husband material. Aka they want you to approach and be traditional because they are afraid you will reject them if they put themselves out there, whereas with me, they probably just assume that I will be carefree and fun with no expectations for them to meet. I don't make a lot of money.. I drive a beat up pickup truck and do renovation for a living and I look like a grungy hippie rocker artist guy with long hair beard and muscles. Where you may have a problem getting that flirtatious sexual attention from women, I have a problem keeping them around for more than sex because I am not to be taken seriously like you are. Does that make sense? Even though you may be good in bed, they see you as more than sex. Likewise, may make a good father and husband but unless I get more money and change my look then I am not husband material in their eyes. It's all about how women perceive you. Not so much what you really are
Other than taking more interest in dressing well, the most significant aid in running into women you would be interested in is get off all dating apps. They are playgrounds of the losers and game players and the odds are really poor for men. Go, instead, to events or activities that you enjoy or might where there might be women of the desired class and sophistication you would be interested in. For example if you live near a highly cultured city, attend an opera or ballet performance and that short period between acts for refreshments is a 10-15 minutes of being surrounded by women who would be interested in striking up a short conversation about what you both just experienced. Females out number men by a large number. If you are at all interested in learning to dance well, attend Tango group lessons, there are always more women than men and they all need partners for practice and demonstration, besides being the most sensuous dance imaginable. Visit art exhibitions, again dominated by females, and do not be shy is asking for opinions about pieces of interest. If you do not know very much able art, that is fine, a sincere question will start a conversation. Bars are places adults go where it is expected to interact with people next to them. A place at the bar instead of a table is where people go when they are open for conversation. Any upbeat comment to the woman next to you is enough to start a conversation. If there is a group of women, engage the entire group if there is one in the group who sparks your interest. Spend a little more time talking to her than the others but make them all feel that you are engaging each. How you treat her friends is an indication of your quality. Stop texting for conversation. Use text only for a text instructions of the address, time and day of your next meeting. Develop skills in communicating with women by having female friends. I go to dance clubs a lot and I am usually the oldest person in the club and never ask a girl to dance, and other than starting a conversation at the bar, I limit my contacts with the women to acknowledging their presence with a word or two, to indicate I am not chasing anyone so I am safe to approach because I am equally pleasant to all the women. That seems to be enough so women, even very young women, approach at least to acknowledge they see me as non-threatening while they ignore other older men. It is rare not to end up with 2-5 phone numbers by the end of the evening by being an interesting conversationalist. I am around a lot of attractive women normally, with my side business of working with actors for stage and film doing professional photography. I was in the music recording business for decades as the owner of a large 3 studio recording complex but retired now from that field. Every woman I ever met, including those in the 92 countries I visit often, has albums I recorded, 197 gold and platinum albums. But many of those were before some of these women were born. Do not brag about possessions or accomplishments, focus the conversation on their interests if you have any knowledge of them and if not, ask questions with sincerity about their passions and interests. Never mention money. If you plan an evening, leave some of it as a surprise. If it appears to be spontaneous, for example riding roller coasters after a dinner date or anything not expected will turn out to be the highlight of the evening. Be the first to end the date, on a high note. End it earlier than later because the last feeling of the night will be those remembered most vividly. Women are pickier than even because they are so often around men and so many men are very thirsty for attention from women.
John - Your comments are spot on! Even some of us old(er) dogs need reminders from time to time. Not just the young pups. Great content as always. Be well!
Mgtow is where it's at. I've had more than my share of women. It took me an awfully long time to figure out that they're not worth almost any effort. Super happy and content now.
Maybe you just didn’t met the right woman yet. My uncle was married 18 years to an abusive woman who cheated on him several time. They got divorced and then he met his second wife at the age of 48, she was 35. Now they’ve been married for 40 years. Still in love to this day and healthy even at an old age. My aunt never looked at another man, same for my uncle. Not all people get lucky at the same moment in life, not all marriages are success, and not all marriage ends up by divorce. I hope you will find happiness one day.
Confident, easy to understand and completely devoid of self pity (like some other men's advice channels can be) while you're not saying anything I haven't heard before, this is by far the best version of this kind of video I've watched.
A lesson I had to learn the hard way, and even then didn't really sink in until watching manosphere videos trying to figure out what I did wrong. Also find out what you need from a woman to complement your life and don't settle just because you're lonely.
Also check out women from other cultures and countries....a lot of these women are more traditional in their views of relationships...meaning they treat their men like the King...I personally married a Brazilian woman and she treats me soooooo well...America women tend to want to compete with you..my woman just wants affection and nice communication....I am so happy I got out of the American trap...I am so happy with my Brazilian wife..
My buddy got divorced and then had 30 dates in 30 days. The guy is good looking, but he got addicted to the hunt after 20 years of marriage. The funny thing is after he put in his profile "I am an 8-9 so "Do not contact me unless you consider yourself an 8 or above." His phone was blowing up after that.
LOL I wasn’t buying the “30 dates in 30 days” thing but when I read the part where he set his dating criteria based on him being and “8-9” (inferring on the 1-10 scale) I *instantly* believed it. Women’s curiosity must’ve killed them and they couldn’t resist booking a date with your friend. Genius move. P.S. Did your friend ever tell you how many women saw themselves as an 8 or higher but they really weren’t? Must have happened a few times…
*“If you don't design your own mind and your life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much!*
Love the channel I was always told as a teenager and just starting dating “The girl worth chasing you don’t need to chase “ So good to hear you say this
42 and been single almost 14 years now. I forget what a woman even feels like. lol. I can have regular conversation all day long, but I don't approach them romantically, ask them on dates, show interest, and I have the sex drive of a leaf. I'm not fat or unclean, or unattractive. Sort of sucks cause I always imaged myself having a family. That's what I really wanted, and still want. I'm getting to that age where soon it'll be a bit too late to start having kids if I want to see them graduate before I retire. Dating sites are mostly spam/catfish it seems, or women past their prime who gave all their best years to another guy or guys and are now just looking for a meal ticket. They're ready to meet a "real man". I don't know what to do, so I just sit at home with my two young kitties and watch Law & Order. On a positive note, at least I get to experience a modicum of success, peace, and quiet, and I only have to clean up after me and the kitters. Could be worse I suppose.
Wow! Very well said! I've heard a few videos on this topic and you explained it so well in such a short time, it really hit home for me. I totally get it now. It maybe hard for most of us guys to get it and practice what you explained, but it completely makes sense. And until we stop chasing and start focusing on ourselves, we will be stuck forever in our self made hamster wheel, like a horse and carrot. Thank you so much!
Your pursuit of personal excellence and growth should never end until you do. Live with intention and without waiting for permission. Nature gave you permission at birth. The info in this video should be shared with the young dudes, not just those of us in 40s and 50s. It is sound advice on how to put yourself first. Nice work 40 OF.
Good video basically just be the best person you can be for your self only thing your get from chasing gals is sore legs walk tall with your head up it starts with in your self stay positive my friends
I have Greek DNA but yes I workout a lot get V shape 💪 at 49. When I wear tighter clothes etc I get noticed. Women are more visual than we think. Let them come to you. They smell confidence from a mile away.
That's exactly what happened to me, after me and my wife separated 8 years ago, the first 3 years was spent chasing women, and yes i ended up either creepy or needy to women, i became disillusioned, and focus on my passion which is the outdoors, i stopped chasing them, workout to be healthy and just went out what i loved doing, which is traveling, went to the US (i'm a filipino) Europe and other parts of asia to do Mountaineering, i also surf, and surprisingly that's how i met my 29 yo girlfriend, I'm already 59, now we enjoy doing those things together
Insightful words, sir. I am 47 years old and trying to get back into life and pursue what makes me happy. Yes, companionship would be pleasant but it shouldn't be my top priority. Some years ago I lost that fire within me, however my ambition is returning and I really identify with your message. I look forward to listening to more of your instructionals. Cheers
Good video, couldn't agree more. There's a big difference between chasing and pursuing. Chasing is desperation, pursuing is showing someone you're interested. When she reciprocates, then you can respond with another message/phone call/plan for a date.
I have been making some of the mistakes that you have mentioned. I’m taking a deep breath and reevaluating my position. It’s time for a change. A better change. I feel like a fool but I know I gotta let that go too. Great things always start small. I have a lot going for me now that I’m going to tap in to them. My income has doubled my rent is way below the National average. I can do this. My options should be more open. I just needed a little push. My thanks to you and I look forward to viewing your future content.
Yes! You have to be content and happy on your own. I didn’t learn this until 2 years ago at 39. I do my thing and live a joyous life on my own. I can talk to the hottest girl in the room and not care if we aren’t compatible because, I’m not trying to get in her pants. Women do notice your confidence and you’ll begin to see them actually noticing you. Allow her to bring more joy into your life, don’t let her be the reason for your happiness. My confidence has skyrocketed knowing I don’t need a woman to be happy and you’ll see your confidence improve greatly once you stop chasing tail. Let her chase you!
Solid advice. I see guys trying to hard and that makes them look needy. Work on just being the best version of you. Be friendly with everyone and just do you. Eventually it will happen naturally.
This is true. There were two very specific times in my life where I told myself "I'm fine being alone." Not kidding within days of me making this mental decision I had women come into my life. Could be coincidence but I like to think that letting go completely and just enjoying life for itself made all the difference.
40 yrs old here. My life/great years didn't start until at least 33 yrs old. I quit booze, hit the gym, and started investing in the market. During these last 7 yrs I've had women but they remain the FARTHEST THING from my mind that I need for happiness. Gym, Health, Invest & prepare for a better tomorrow. 🙌🏽
AMEN.....I FEEL THE SAME WAY.....I AM JUST FOCUS ON MYSELF AND BUILDING WEALTH TOO...I JUST TURN 40 AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ON A DATE IN 5 YEARS AND I LOVE IT...I JUST TRAVEL THE WORLD.....
Spot on , could not say it any better, 8 months in to divorce and separation, I learned this very quickly, every point you said was perfect 👍🏼👏🏼🏴🇮🇷, if we follow it we will be in better place and very Happy!
You pulled together a lot of good points I've either read or heard before. At the heart of it you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Good advice. Hopefully the people watching it can compartmentalize it as well as generalize it.
Become what you want to attract. Keep your hobbies. Keep your friends. ONLY go out with women who show a high level of interest. Women are like cats. They go from hot, to cold, to hot, to cold, etc. Let them and don't chase. Especially, early on, they need to feel free without the guy losing his shit. If you're not in a serious relationship date MULTIPLE women. It helps to maintain an abundance mindset. Great video, as always!
Thank you for keeping us grounded. Not sure how it happened but i had fallen into deep pursuit (in a legit way lol...) of a Belarus beauty here in the states. Regardless of my familiarity with the language and culture she clearly wasn't feeling it. A very nice 2nd date. Well groomed, properly scented, dressed, flowers and nice meal. I'm 6'2", in great shape and yet could not crack what felt like a Soviet Tank barracade blocking her emotions. I got no sense this would ever change despite her apparent willingness to meet again. And so.....life goes on 😁
From my understanding, isn’t dating in that culture kinda “standoffish?” I would focus my energy on other pursuits, and occasionally ask her out for casual low key outings just to keep you in her thoughts. Never let her know how you really feel. Eventually, I bet she will come around because she is curious why you don’t pursue her so aggressively. She will wonder what changed and become intrigued....
My Man deserve to have 500k subscribers with the good advice he gives. I'm married and I'm trying to be there fore my spouse know than ever due to her health issues and my young boy but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself down 👇 on my life seen her struggling and feel happy helping her we been 18 years together it's been ups and downs but she stood by my side no matter what. I do everything duties every day most important working out to maintain good health and taking care of them. My salutes my friend keep giving good advice to us guys in our 40s.
Im 39...i been chasing women since last breakup 2018.. n now after 9 dates throughout these years..its finally in mind that enough is enough.. im well groomed .discipline but financially not there yet.. i aim to earn alot more..thanks
Very good video sir. Really makes so much sense especially in today's day and age of social media. Be the high value man that you are and don't lower your standards so someone has to appreciate you. If they truly want to be with you for the right reasons, you know they are a genuine individual...
Speaking For Myself Back In My Age Of 20's I Used To Chase Looking For Love and Relationships But After Being Mistreated and Hurt Very Extremely Bad I Took It As A Life Learning Lesson Now That I'm In My Age Of 30's My Chasing Days Are Over Which Means I'd Rather Saddle Down, Relax, Calm My Mind Allowing God To Lead Me On To Get My Life Together First Thank You For This God Continue To Bless You Much Love and Respect Sir 😉
It is not over. The "need" and relationship are 2 different things. Even relationships, it doesn't have to be romantic. Sometimes non-romantic ones are better
So basically wanting women makes you unattractive. And when you're so confident that you feel you deserve better then finally they come. It's an unattainable desire. We want what we can't have, and we can't have women at our lowest, neither are we excited for women at our best.
I wish my Dad had told me this years ago. It's true and there's a lot to be said for finding someone interested in you when you're doing something you like.
Well, it goes both ways doesn't it? Three of my girlfriends have each lost several hundred thousand dollars to nasty guys. Women have their own money now too.
The first thing every father needs to do for their son when they reach legal age, is to go to the strip club. Don't jump to conclusions just yet, there is a specific reason. If you have high morals, then your son is doomed before he even gets going. - By going to the strip club, boys need to learn right away how fast girls turn on and off the charm like a switch. That duality of how they use their looks to get what they want, and when they don't how bitter they turn. Boys need to learn how girls will sweet talk them into giving them money in return for basically, nothing. There's no other way to learn this quickly, than at the strip club at a young age. Hopefully, these boys will learn to STOP throwing themselves and money at these psycho b--ches.
You are right that if you give the impression that you "don't care about anything" it can be translated to mean "I don't care about me". And so, we must care but be careful & send the message "I don't care what you think about me, since I am for real". This turns the former on its head & gives you the steering wheel in relation to the latter & don't give anyone, especially females, the driving seat to your car!
Some of your videos are like - John is the father many men never had. Your way of keeping things cool on heated and polarizing topics is like of a diplomat. I’m 4 years shy from my 40s and I’m yet to find any of your videos that are not relevant to me. Thanks for your help.
One other thing wanted to mention if you get in a relationship with an Asian lady over there u will be amazed at how hard they will work to keep it a good relationship there loyalty to u is incredible have several friends who married and live there now and they say it is the best thing there ever did It is completely the opposite from here in America
I definitely don't have to worry about getting short replies or anything like that, because I usually don't get any replies lol. But seriously, guys think confidence is king, but it really isn't. I've spent years building myself physically, socially and mentally. I have a Captain America physique, 6 pack and all, have pushed my comfort zone out to the point that I'll approach the hottest girl in the room without hesitation, and have developed my conversational skills to a point that not only can I open, I can keep the conversation going as long as I'd like. I guess you could say I'm a "Chad". But while I look the part, can approach and get girls instantly laughing and smiling, and can get numbers, I can't get anything beyond that. No dates, no replies, no matches online etc. Most guys I know look at me and assume I slay with women just based on the fact that I could be on the cover of a fitness magazine, add in the super extroverted, charismatic attitude and conversational abilities and they assume it's a slam dunk. Fact is I know guys who are in much worse shape than me, don't have the confidence to approach, nor the social skills to talk, that blow me out of the water in results. All I'm saying is, if you think spending years developing confidence, charisma, and a great physique will translate to success with women, I'm evidence that it won't. Then again most of the other guys I know in my class have no problems at all so maybe it's a me thing lol.
This is one of your best tapes for me. It gives me some of the ideas that I’ve been looking for. Keep up the good work I look forward to seeing more of your information!
@@40OverFashion thank you for your Quick response! I am a 69 year old male widower. I’m 6 foot tall and weigh 260 pounds and my hair is white. I know I need to lose weight but it’s very difficult. I’m wondering about having some liposuction or tummy tuck done. I appreciate you showing your teeth and how you fix those. I love to send you an email or call you on the phone to get advice.
Give Tiege Hanley a try & get a FREE gift with your first box at tiege.com/40overchasing
You’re the same age as myself! Cool. I drink lots of water which hydrates me and I believe keeps my organs and skin in better condition. Skin care is important too. 👍
How could I get it if I'm from SA?
Good afternoon, can you give tips for men like me from the age of 36 and who are approaching 40 years of some advice...
How old you
Does it have parabens and other chemicals or is it 100% organic?
Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Great video! For guys over 50 (and over 60) this message is even more important. Take great care of your body, mind, and spirit. Have your finances in order. Do the things that bring you joy. Travel solo. If you are not married, stay unmarried (you can still have great intimate relationships without inviting state laws into your life a.k.a. Divorce laws). Whatever you do, DO NOT CHASE anyone. Ever. Many women will test you for your attention, time and resources. Have strong boundaries and an abundance mindset. Stay safe out there!
Thanks Jonathan!
What is the abundance mindset for you ?
You know man was made for woman and woman for man it's dirty shame that it's come down to this for you who have been divorced by your wives abandoned and the whoremongers and home Wreckers have destroyed your life it's a shame because I wanted to just get married again find a good woman to have a partner and a helpmate in life simple right but you know your advice leads people straight to hell because simply put God has standards that were supposed to live by unfortunately those simple standards seems almost impossible now to find a mate without premarital sex because you guys are advertise stay single and enjoy women
@@markeverson5849 Live life man, don't believe everything you read or hear, just live life by your own standards not some book written by man.
@@CimotaTJ Jesus is real in the Bible is true get saved today. The New World Order is here it's coming it's the platform for the Antichrist to be saved confess in the name of Jesus that you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God that he died and was buried but resurrected on the third day according to the scriptures and your faith will be counted to you as righteousness you will be adopted into the body of Christ and you will see salvation. The alternative is Eternal damnation don't wait
As a 51 year old man, I’ve learned that you cannot force someone to like you or love you. The worst thing you can do is change who are just so you are liked. You need to be who you are and the person you’re with should like you and want to be with you as you are. Then and only then can you be free of all the bs stress of trying to impress some one. Don’t be someone else, be you and only you.
Well said!
Absolutely. I turn 52 next month and couldn't agree more...
I am 51 as well. Just started dating again. I read tons of books, watch the dating coaches, and what I find works is exactly what you said. Just be yourself, go with the attitude that you are going to have fun. I don't try to impress. Just have fun, be myself, and if they like you, fine, if not, there seems to be a lot of single women these days. Just move on. But I'm hear to tell you it works. Obviously, you kind of need to have your shit together mentally, physically, financially etc. But some of the stories women tell me about the men in the dating pool are hilarious.
Damn right!👍
But be sure to be your BEST SELF
I'm married 24 years and this is solid advice for the single guys! You definitely need to work on yourself first before doing anything else and good things will come to you
Thanks Wally!
Thank you Wally for the advice. I appreciate it!
@@bobbyl8640 Anytime brotha
Breath of fresh air when a married guy is co signing this kind of advice a lot shoot it down.... respect to you.sir
@@jonblazeinc 🙏🏻👌🏻
A woman once shared with me a secret she said she wasn't supposed to tell me. She said the more you love us the less we will love you. The less you love us the more we will love you. Master this and you will master women. I made this change at age 47 and now women find me irresistible and some even get obsessed. So strange that this works. It's the complete opposite of who I was. I used to give all my heart to women and it only got me cheated on.
That is 60% true. Women and men love to be loved. Many women want a Chad, a super attractive 9/10 man. But Chad ignores them. On the other hand a 7/10 handsome man who loves them is not good enough. And they really hate average men.
I was thinking the same and in fact I think our focus should be to work on ourselves in terms of career, education, fitness, nutrition and hobbies. Full stop.
This is really toxic dating advice. But if it works for you, good for you.
Bollix , wasn’t a woman that said that but one of today’s thick brainwashed social media simps
If it's of any interest, a famous Russian poet Alexandr Pushkin has already made this important observation and put it into his "Yevgenyi Onegin" back in 1831. The only bad thing is we keep forgetting the invaluable advice. Thank you for the video.
Beware the honeymoon phase. It happens quick and is gone. Those little pockets of magic fade. If you not ready to deal with what comes after the honeymoon dont start something you will regret.
It's time to move on if there's nothing left after the honeymoon phase
Spot on! We should Never look for a woman to complete our lives but rather to compliment the great life we already have. Live the best life we can and be the best version of who we truly are, and it will attract the right kind of woman and friends. Live life boldly, proudly, and with confidence in who we are!!
Very well said!
Like Mr Cooper says, women are the complement in your life, not the focus.
Man that is so true!
Mau..be..she..Will..Take..your..cut! Be..aware!!
Okay I do it all already and I don't know where to find women I only want one for a wife
I'm 55 and I have been chasing! I'm on all the apps getting nowhere. I already dress nice so I've got that going for me. I really took in what you said and I'm dropping the apps, and living my life! Thank you. I am now a subscriber
Thank you very much Stephen! Much appreciated!
nah man, after 30 men need to stop chasing because their value becomes higher than women's. women's value drop fast after 30.
Completely avoid dating apps. There are too many low value trash 🗑 people there. Get out in the real world. As a woman you’d never find me on dating apps because I’ve never been on them.
When i used to be on dating apps, I would ask the usual get-to-know-you questions when I connected with a female. If i asked he 3 questions without her asking me a question. I'd straight up ghost her and go on to the next.
@@lmusima3275 so where would I find a “you?”
Since I was a kid I've always used the 50/50 policy. I'll approach and give 50% to the woman as far as interest and such. If I don't get 50% back, I'm off to healthier choices. Always works.
One of the most important things said in this video - is that a relationship cannot make you happy. It can enhance what’s already there, but will not fill that void…..in fact I would argue that if you’re in a bad place getting into a relationship could make things worse. You will in all probability project those insecurities onto your new partner and that never ends well.
At 60 I’ve been through pretty much everything when it comes to relationships - but learning this early on changed everything. Once you get to that place of inner peace and contentment, that brings confidence. It alters the way you interact with women, and more importantly it changes the way women interact with you….
Very well said! Thanks for commenting!
I can honestly say I never chased a woman in my life. thankfully. Good luck straight guys.
Relationships take energy - even casual friendships, and sport teams, musical ensembles, comedy troupes... When both people put energy in there is a synergy that makes the relationship grow organically, becoming more than the sum of the people added together.
So if you're interested in a woman who is putting nearly *no energy* into the relationship, or just barely enough to string you along, let her go. In my experience she'll tend to put in less and less over time, until it's like you're trying to water a plant that can't grow because it's not getting any sunlight. The relationship will not grow - even at the level of friendship - and will develop into a parasitic situation where she's just feeding off the energy you put in. Find someone more mature and attentive who also appreciates the spark that comes from reciprocity.
Well said Karl! Thanks for commenting!
LOL! Yeah Right!
What's a comedy troupe?
You are absolutely right
I love the word synergy!! Sum of he parts working together to produce a greater outcome.
We all become desirable when we mature and put ourselves first, confidence is interesting and stimulating and women die for it. Pursue but don't ever chase
Good distinction.
Well said
Outstanding post! High value men value themselves first. Do not chase, do not pedalisize, do NOT reward a sh!t test with attention. Set your standards to reflect your priorities and be prepared to walk away from any woman. Peace men.
Thanks Jim!
@@40OverFashion pretty new here, I appreciate the things in learning about elevating myself ☮️
Human nature is people, especially women, do what they want, when they want and with whom they want. It doesn’t matter how busy they say they are, what their job is, etc. When they want to make time, when they want to be with someone they do it. This goes back to what I said in a previous comment for a different video. The best thing that a man can do is to be confident in his personal energy, present himself well and FFS take care of his skin 🤣🤣🤣. Don’t project as needy, don’t project as helpless. When women want a man they find a way to get him just like shoes or sushi. They have their ways.
yes sir you are totally right , i just divorce after 20 years .
Thanks for commenting Rich!
Sir. Best male advice video ever. From a 54yr old who's 27yr marriage has ended so I'm in the dating game, this video is a superb guide. Thanks for putting me and a lot of the male species, on the right track!
Thanks for commenting Andrew!
Absolutely right!!! I listened to everything you said and very much spot on, I'm in my 40s now and I think everyone deserve better, can't be chasing women at this age of my life and not staying focused. Please keep them coming. 👍👍
Will do! Thanks for watching!
Yup! I am now 49 and chased lots of women , lucky me I never wanted to get married and my only son is now 18. My focus now is to grow my health and wellness global business. I don’t need sex or relationships to feel happy. There’s more to life than sex.
@@nightowl6811 don't get me wrong ...but this is what people say when they fail, it's like " the grape is sour " since we couldn't reach it..
Hi John - Your topic really hit home with me. I recently had to end a relationship where I was beginning to do all of the work. I really liked the lady, and in some ways I still do, but it was time to move on. It hurt, but I no longer could all of the lifting. Funny how so many women say they want a decent guy and a gentleman but wind-up chasing them away. Peace.
True words my friend! Thanks Jeff!
If the man is doing all the lifting after a few months, she doesn't see the man as high value. Look for signs early of high attraction. It's a crucial bit of data. You'll pay the "Simp tax" constantly if she feels she's settling.
They want a decent guy after they sped their best and youngest years and emotions on some shitheads.
They don't feel a "decent guy" deserves them until they are too old and unatractive when only a "decent" guy would take them out of compassion which they know the guys they gave their best years to would never have.
I m doing all the lifting currently but I also get to satisfy my sexual urges whenever , so not complaining for now lol
@@winwinwin282828 Get ready.
Great advice…relationships are not easy married or single. First things first take care of yourself stay healthy, always exercise at all ages. Don’t be selfish but remember what do you want in a relationship, there will always be give and take…I’m 65 and married and still learning. There’s a old saying “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved” We learn from being in a relationship hopefully we grow wiser and smarter. Good Luck on future relationships guys…..☮️✌️☮️
Thanks for commenting John!
Married 24 years and at 51 I am still learning. As you said the key is to stay healthy and focus on taking care of yourself. Its easy to let yourself go and take each other for granted. The COVID BS got me to reevaluate everything in my life, including my health and marriage.
Lost 50 lbs, got back in shape working out 3-4X a week, taking some time off and getting involved in hobbies again. You need to live with a purpose and have confidence. I have both back. Forget the "happy wife, happy life" BS. If the main breadwinner is not healthy and happy, the household is going to go to sh%t fast.
Told my wife and teenage son to get back to work and get jobs since I'm buying a Harley this year....
Another great video. This was a valuable lesson for me in my own life. Once I quit chasing , I found the woman who became my wife .
Awesome Scott!
I don't get it. I keep hearing don't chase and they will run to you. That doesn't happen to me. Im now 63. I still go out, but not like in my 20s. I was the most active then about going to restaurants and especially to clubs to hear live music. I was too shy to ask women out--and they certainly didn't chase me
@@clydekimsey7503 Well you have to have the confidence to be a man and to approach women. You need to let them know you are interested. You ask them out for dates, and show them a good time. Be yourself. Once you take them out a couple of times, and if you do things right, then you let them chase you. But you still have to reciprocate to a point. It's just a mindset.
So right on this. Stay true to yourself and keep your hobbies. Share it with her and/or find new ones together. Be happy gentlemen !
Great advice! I am going to focus on setting up my online business and put full concentration on it for the next 6 months or so. Not gonna get distracted by women, friends and negative co-workers and relatives.
Well said!
Do it. Ive wasted 3 months and should be doing the same.
Thanks for the advice. Completely different dating world being recently divorced after almost 30 years of (faithful yet unhappy) marriage. Basic instincts are the same but a lot of the tools and vehicles are radically different. Learned some of the same things you mentioned in the last two years of separation preceding the final divorce. The most important lessons were understanding what I did wrong, knowing my high social value, and therefore believing that I am in a better place (and will do much better in a future relationship if it happens). The challenges now are letting the dust settle, finding my way, and adapting to a new world that relies too much (IMO) on social media. In the mean time just making the best of my circumstances starting today on business travel in sunny San Diego. Have a great day!
Thanks for sharing, it's very much appreciated! Enjoy San Diego!
Stay strong Wilfred everything will work itself out.
You look alright, but dude, the dating world looks brutal these days. If my wife ever dumps me, it's the Phillipines for me.
@@GUITARTIME2024 Well, maybe...it could be brutal, but I believe if someone has to focus on what they want and not be misdirected they could end up finding a life partner. Well, women in The Philippines are the same as in the other countries, but if you will find the good one, it's like winning the lottery for a lifetime.
@@trixielee3476 bingo- used to work with a girl who was just brutally honest about how many older men come to their country and get PLAYED. She explained that females over there are taught how to get to America via some "GI" soldier or some other guy
she laughed at how so many of her friends know the ropes, she swears out that is not what she did to the poor little guy she is married to who is an officer though
just saying women, men - we all get hipped to each others tactics
A high-value woman is one that IS NOT expensive but is there for you during the simple things in life. My girlfriend volunteers to come over when I need to do yard work. Very admirable trait.
She is a keeper dont f up
I grew up pretty introverted. So I never chased girls. One day in my 30's a buddy of mine asked me what I do to get so many women. I told him "nothing". He laughed but I literally meant it. Be receptive and initiate the date or the number exchange when the conversation starts to go dry. They will put themselves in your orbit and make eye contact and touch you or try to to talk to you about any stupid thing. Just be calm and laugh at her
@@clintkantor I'm 40 as well. It sounds like we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I should probably mention that I was not shy but rather just didn't care enough about having friends to try and make them. They typically gravitated towards me because I was kind and open but aloof and chill. I don't know if maybe my looks helped or not but introversion doesn't always mean awkward and timid. Being awkward and timid can really turn off the ladies. So I can't speak on your experiences but I can tell you that your value as a man does not hinge upon your success with women. Nikola Tesla never had a girlfriend and he pretty much invented the industrial world. Just keep that in mind. Focus on your life and purpose and let the women go. Not everyone is meant for a relationship and that's okay. We need people who do more than just make babies
@@clintkantor well brother I can say that if you feel like the same kid stuck inside you then that could be the reason why. Women like men.. you have to let that boy go. It's okay to change and be the man you want to be. You give yourself permission to become what you already are. You don't wait for others to give it to you. To become the man you want to be you have to understand that you already are that man.. the difference is that now you have to own it and behave think and respond accordingly.. no apologies no tolerance for disrespect. Looks goes a long way but even the most good looking men still had to self actualize themselves into the men that they are before they could get women. You could be Brad Pitt but if you feel like a little boy with no value then women will sense that as weakness and overlook you. It's not so much about looks as it is your attitude about yourself and what you bring to the table.. am I getting you right? Or am I off a little? I may not understand what you're saying..are you saying that you can't get women because you're not good looking or that you don't get women because you don't have confidence? Both? Neither?
@@clintkantor well if you're a late bloomer then I would say that your best days are ahead of you. Make the best of them by becoming the man you know you are meant to be... And if that includes not changing at all because you're happy with who and what you are and do, then don't change. Just appreciate life and what you do have and be yourself unapologetically. Who cares if you're not the best with women? That's not what makes a man a good man. If you want to do more or be better then just make the necessary changes and moves a little more each day and be consistent over time. Consistency plus time beats hard work every time. It's never too late to build your business, build your body, build your house, build your network, or build your relationship. All it takes is action. Consistent action. Women find raw unwaivering determination to be the most sexy quality in a man.. that's a fact. I don't know if you had a father around to tell you this as a kid but you really can be anything you want to be. It's cliche but true. Why? Because you will not want to be something that you are not already designed to be. If it's in your heart to get married then you will get married. But you have to face your fears and take action.
I grew up introverted too, and never found a way or real desire to move out of introversion. I was fortunate to have many beneficial attributes that might suggest women would be attracted (tall, good looking, intelligent, talented, Ivy League education, good job, sense of humor, etc). HOWEVER, I never found it easy to meet women and usually was quite frustrated with no girlfriend. You describe how they will initiate through eye contact, touching, or talking about just "any stupid thing". None of this ever happened to me. If I tried very hard and made 100% of the effort, I could sometimes meet a female and had some brief relationships. Sometimes I read comments like yours which describe women easily all over you and making it so obvious and easy, and none of this ever made any sense to me because I've never seen it happen like that.
@@KpxUrz5745 well maybe the problem is that you're not a problem like me.. I've always felt that women sense that they can have fun withe and that I won't hold them to a high standard or judge them. Probably because I'm low class and don't check off as many boxes as you do. So maybe they tend to hold you to a higher standard than they hold me because they expect more from you as they just see me as a fun time but they see you as husband material. Aka they want you to approach and be traditional because they are afraid you will reject them if they put themselves out there, whereas with me, they probably just assume that I will be carefree and fun with no expectations for them to meet. I don't make a lot of money.. I drive a beat up pickup truck and do renovation for a living and I look like a grungy hippie rocker artist guy with long hair beard and muscles. Where you may have a problem getting that flirtatious sexual attention from women, I have a problem keeping them around for more than sex because I am not to be taken seriously like you are. Does that make sense? Even though you may be good in bed, they see you as more than sex. Likewise, may make a good father and husband but unless I get more money and change my look then I am not husband material in their eyes. It's all about how women perceive you. Not so much what you really are
Other than taking more interest in dressing well, the most significant aid in running into women you would be interested in is get off all dating apps. They are playgrounds of the losers and game players and the odds are really poor for men. Go, instead, to events or activities that you enjoy or might where there might be women of the desired class and sophistication you would be interested in. For example if you live near a highly cultured city, attend an opera or ballet performance and that short period between acts for refreshments is a 10-15 minutes of being surrounded by women who would be interested in striking up a short conversation about what you both just experienced. Females out number men by a large number. If you are at all interested in learning to dance well, attend Tango group lessons, there are always more women than men and they all need partners for practice and demonstration, besides being the most sensuous dance imaginable. Visit art exhibitions, again dominated by females, and do not be shy is asking for opinions about pieces of interest. If you do not know very much able art, that is fine, a sincere question will start a conversation. Bars are places adults go where it is expected to interact with people next to them. A place at the bar instead of a table is where people go when they are open for conversation. Any upbeat comment to the woman next to you is enough to start a conversation. If there is a group of women, engage the entire group if there is one in the group who sparks your interest. Spend a little more time talking to her than the others but make them all feel that you are engaging each. How you treat her friends is an indication of your quality.
Stop texting for conversation. Use text only for a text instructions of the address, time and day of your next meeting. Develop skills in communicating with women by having female friends.
I go to dance clubs a lot and I am usually the oldest person in the club and never ask a girl to dance, and other than starting a conversation at the bar, I limit my contacts with the women to acknowledging their presence with a word or two, to indicate I am not chasing anyone so I am safe to approach because I am equally pleasant to all the women. That seems to be enough so women, even very young women, approach at least to acknowledge they see me as non-threatening while they ignore other older men. It is rare not to end up with 2-5 phone numbers by the end of the evening by being an interesting conversationalist. I am around a lot of attractive women normally, with my side business of working with actors for stage and film doing professional photography. I was in the music recording business for decades as the owner of a large 3 studio recording complex but retired now from that field. Every woman I ever met, including those in the 92 countries I visit often, has albums I recorded, 197 gold and platinum albums. But many of those were before some of these women were born.
Do not brag about possessions or accomplishments, focus the conversation on their interests if you have any knowledge of them and if not, ask questions with sincerity about their passions and interests. Never mention money. If you plan an evening, leave some of it as a surprise. If it appears to be spontaneous, for example riding roller coasters after a dinner date or anything not expected will turn out to be the highlight of the evening. Be the first to end the date, on a high note. End it earlier than later because the last feeling of the night will be those remembered most vividly.
Women are pickier than even because they are so often around men and so many men are very thirsty for attention from women.
John - Your comments are spot on! Even some of us old(er) dogs need reminders from time to time. Not just the young pups. Great content as always. Be well!
Thank you!
Mgtow is where it's at. I've had more than my share of women. It took me an awfully long time to figure out that they're not worth almost any effort. Super happy and content now.
Maybe you just didn’t met the right woman yet. My uncle was married 18 years to an abusive woman who cheated on him several time. They got divorced and then he met his second wife at the age of 48, she was 35. Now they’ve been married for 40 years. Still in love to this day and healthy even at an old age. My aunt never looked at another man, same for my uncle. Not all people get lucky at the same moment in life, not all marriages are success, and not all marriage ends up by divorce. I hope you will find happiness one day.
Confident, easy to understand and completely devoid of self pity (like some other men's advice channels can be) while you're not saying anything I haven't heard before, this is by far the best version of this kind of video I've watched.
I appreciate that! Thanks for commenting!
A lesson I had to learn the hard way, and even then didn't really sink in until watching manosphere videos trying to figure out what I did wrong. Also find out what you need from a woman to complement your life and don't settle just because you're lonely.
Also check out women from other cultures and countries....a lot of these women are more traditional in their views of relationships...meaning they treat their men like the King...I personally married a Brazilian woman and she treats me soooooo well...America women tend to want to compete with you..my woman just wants affection and nice communication....I am so happy I got out of the American trap...I am so happy with my Brazilian wife..
Great perspective! Thanks for commenting!
There are wonderful women out there. I have one.The opinions offered on this channel is gold. This man knows of what he speaks from real experience.
Thank you!
My buddy got divorced and then had 30 dates in 30 days. The guy is good looking, but he got addicted to the hunt after 20 years of marriage. The funny thing is after he put in his profile "I am an 8-9 so "Do not contact me unless you consider yourself an 8 or above."
His phone was blowing up after that.
LOL I wasn’t buying the “30 dates in 30 days” thing but when I read the part where he set his dating criteria based on him being and “8-9” (inferring on the 1-10 scale) I *instantly* believed it. Women’s curiosity must’ve killed them and they couldn’t resist booking a date with your friend. Genius move.
P.S. Did your friend ever tell you how many women saw themselves as an 8 or higher but they really weren’t? Must have happened a few times…
I can't think of anything more horrendous than 30 consequtive dates. Not even thinking about the "in 30 days part" haha!
Excellent presentation. I made all my mistakes under 40. Done with that.
Me too
*“If you don't design your own mind and your life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much!*
Love the channel
I was always told as a teenager and just starting dating
“The girl worth chasing you don’t need to chase “
So good to hear you say this
Last night I heard a woman at a bar say that unless a man puts forth a lot of effort (chases after her) she won't bother with him.
42 and been single almost 14 years now. I forget what a woman even feels like. lol. I can have regular conversation all day long, but I don't approach them romantically, ask them on dates, show interest, and I have the sex drive of a leaf. I'm not fat or unclean, or unattractive. Sort of sucks cause I always imaged myself having a family. That's what I really wanted, and still want. I'm getting to that age where soon it'll be a bit too late to start having kids if I want to see them graduate before I retire. Dating sites are mostly spam/catfish it seems, or women past their prime who gave all their best years to another guy or guys and are now just looking for a meal ticket. They're ready to meet a "real man". I don't know what to do, so I just sit at home with my two young kitties and watch Law & Order. On a positive note, at least I get to experience a modicum of success, peace, and quiet, and I only have to clean up after me and the kitters. Could be worse I suppose.
Thanks for commenting Jerry!
You should get rid of the cats.
@@jimklemens5018 Why's that?
@@ditherdather Having cats is very gay.
If you want a pet, get a dog.
Wow! Very well said! I've heard a few videos on this topic and you explained it so well in such a short time, it really hit home for me. I totally get it now. It maybe hard for most of us guys to get it and practice what you explained, but it completely makes sense. And until we stop chasing and start focusing on ourselves, we will be stuck forever in our self made hamster wheel, like a horse and carrot. Thank you so much!
Thank you for watching!
Your pursuit of personal excellence and growth should never end until you do. Live with intention and without waiting for permission. Nature gave you permission at birth. The info in this video should be shared with the young dudes, not just those of us in 40s and 50s. It is sound advice on how to put yourself first. Nice work 40 OF.
Thank you very much! I’m glad you understand my message.
Good video basically just be the best person you can be for your self only thing your get from chasing gals is sore legs walk tall with your head up it starts with in your self stay positive my friends
I have Greek DNA but yes I workout a lot get V shape 💪 at 49. When I wear tighter clothes etc I get noticed. Women are more visual than we think. Let them come to you. They smell confidence from a mile away.
That's exactly what happened to me, after me and my wife separated 8 years ago, the first 3 years was spent chasing women, and yes i ended up either creepy or needy to women, i became disillusioned, and focus on my passion which is the outdoors, i stopped chasing them, workout to be healthy and just went out what i loved doing, which is traveling, went to the US (i'm a filipino) Europe and other parts of asia to do Mountaineering, i also surf, and surprisingly that's how i met my 29 yo girlfriend, I'm already 59, now we enjoy doing those things together
New subscriber here John. I cannot thank you enough for your great insight and advice.
Have a Blessed day my friend.
Insightful words, sir. I am 47 years old and trying to get back into life and pursue what makes me happy. Yes, companionship would be pleasant but it shouldn't be my top priority. Some years ago I lost that fire within me, however my ambition is returning and I really identify with your message. I look forward to listening to more of your instructionals. Cheers
I feel you om getting your fire back, DM me i may have some advice for you
Well said. I like the clarity of your presentation. Much better put together than the other crap you often find on YT.
I appreciate that!
Good video, couldn't agree more. There's a big difference between chasing and pursuing. Chasing is desperation, pursuing is showing someone you're interested. When she reciprocates, then you can respond with another message/phone call/plan for a date.
Stopped chasing entitled and ungrateful women since I was 32 or so.
I found out my life is happier and calmer that way.
Absofuckinglutely
Chase the dream, not the dream woman.
Absolutely!
Yes indeed, chase the dream avoid the nightmare!
Life gets better and harder all at the same time. 🤣😂
Well said!!
I have been making some of the mistakes that you have mentioned. I’m taking a deep breath and reevaluating my position. It’s time for a change. A better change. I feel like a fool but I know I gotta let that go too. Great things always start small. I have a lot going for me now that I’m going to tap in to them. My income has doubled my rent is way below the National average. I can do this. My options should be more open. I just needed a little push. My thanks to you and I look forward to viewing your future content.
Yes! You have to be content and happy on your own. I didn’t learn this until 2 years ago at 39. I do my thing and live a joyous life on my own. I can talk to the hottest girl in the room and not care if we aren’t compatible because, I’m not trying to get in her pants. Women do notice your confidence and you’ll begin to see them actually noticing you. Allow her to bring more joy into your life, don’t let her be the reason for your happiness. My confidence has skyrocketed knowing I don’t need a woman to be happy and you’ll see your confidence improve greatly once you stop chasing tail. Let her chase you!
Well said Marc! Love this!
So true! I wish that I had realized this sooner. A woman should not complicate your life.
Solid advice. I see guys trying to hard and that makes them look needy. Work on just being the best version of you. Be friendly with everyone and just do you. Eventually it will happen naturally.
This is true. There were two very specific times in my life where I told myself "I'm fine being alone." Not kidding within days of me making this mental decision I had women come into my life. Could be coincidence but I like to think that letting go completely and just enjoying life for itself made all the difference.
Hi John from Athens Greece!! My name is Jonh also, Yiannis in Greeks and I'm also 52 years old....thanks for your video!
Thanks for watching!
Perfect timing for this video because I just turned 52 myself and I agree with his content.
40 yrs old here. My life/great years didn't start until at least 33 yrs old. I quit booze, hit the gym, and started investing in the market. During these last 7 yrs I've had women but they remain the FARTHEST THING from my mind that I need for happiness. Gym, Health, Invest & prepare for a better tomorrow. 🙌🏽
AMEN.....I FEEL THE SAME WAY.....I AM JUST FOCUS ON MYSELF AND BUILDING WEALTH TOO...I JUST TURN 40 AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ON A DATE IN 5 YEARS AND I LOVE IT...I JUST TRAVEL THE WORLD.....
Spot on , could not say it any better, 8 months in to divorce and separation, I learned this very quickly, every point you said was perfect 👍🏼👏🏼🏴🇮🇷, if we follow it we will be in better place and very Happy!
Thank you!
I got married for the first time at 38... now I'm wondering if I missed out on dating over 40 lol
You pulled together a lot of good points I've either read or heard before. At the heart of it you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Good advice. Hopefully the people watching it can compartmentalize it as well as generalize it.
finally! a channel that remembers that men over 35 still exist! Been looking for something like this everywhere
Glad you’re here!
Become what you want to attract.
Keep your hobbies.
Keep your friends.
ONLY go out with women who show a high level of interest.
Women are like cats. They go from hot, to cold, to hot, to cold, etc. Let them and don't chase. Especially, early on, they need to feel free without the guy losing his shit.
If you're not in a serious relationship date MULTIPLE women. It helps to maintain an abundance mindset.
Great video, as always!
Thank you for commenting Tim!
Thank you for keeping us grounded.
Not sure how it happened but i had fallen into deep pursuit (in a legit way lol...) of a Belarus beauty here in the states. Regardless of my familiarity with the language and culture she clearly wasn't feeling it. A very nice 2nd date. Well groomed, properly scented, dressed, flowers and nice meal. I'm 6'2", in great shape and yet could not crack what felt like a Soviet Tank barracade blocking her emotions. I got no sense this would ever change despite her apparent willingness to meet again.
And so.....life goes on 😁
That's the problem 6,2 you're way too short too small I'm 6 ft 9 in weight 340 bigger than Hulk Hogan I get all the girls they like to hang on my arms
From my understanding, isn’t dating in that culture kinda “standoffish?” I would focus my energy on other pursuits, and occasionally ask her out for casual low key outings just to keep you in her thoughts. Never let her know how you really feel. Eventually, I bet she will come around because she is curious why you don’t pursue her so aggressively. She will wonder what changed and become intrigued....
There’s your answer, giving flowers, especially on date #2, it looks subservient and weak.
Looking dapper, my man. For fun, subscribed. Having a smile at your advice.
Thank you!
Shakespeare said it best: "This above all, to thine own self be true."
Every word is gold. Thanks for boosting our confidence. Look good, do good and bring good in life..❤
Thank you for watching!
My Man deserve to have 500k subscribers with the good advice he gives. I'm married and I'm trying to be there fore my spouse know than ever due to her health issues and my young boy but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself down 👇 on my life seen her struggling and feel happy helping her we been 18 years together it's been ups and downs but she stood by my side no matter what. I do everything duties every day most important working out to maintain good health and taking care of them. My salutes my friend keep giving good advice to us guys in our 40s.
Thank you!
You're good at this! Really like your style. Happy to have found your channel.
Thank you!
I'm 39 and I'm happy i bumped into your channel
Im 39...i been chasing women since last breakup 2018.. n now after 9 dates throughout these years..its finally in mind that enough is enough.. im well groomed .discipline but financially not there yet.. i aim to earn alot more..thanks
It can feel like the best is behind you but I promise you your life will just gain value. Know your worth. Don't be afraid to enjoy an escort.
How's your face, height and fat percentage. Those are the big items for women, studies show.
Very good video sir. Really makes so much sense especially in today's day and age of social media. Be the high value man that you are and don't lower your standards so someone has to appreciate you. If they truly want to be with you for the right reasons, you know they are a genuine individual...
You right,that’s the way it is .
Thanks for this. Ghosting is such a shite move to make. Brilliant upload.
And Remember... Rejection is saving you from future regrets.
Speaking For Myself Back In My Age Of 20's I Used To Chase Looking For Love and Relationships But After Being Mistreated and Hurt Very Extremely Bad I Took It As A Life Learning Lesson Now That I'm In My Age Of 30's My Chasing Days Are Over Which Means I'd Rather Saddle Down, Relax, Calm My Mind Allowing God To Lead Me On To Get My Life Together First Thank You For This God Continue To Bless You Much Love and Respect Sir 😉
It is not over. The "need" and relationship are 2 different things. Even relationships, it doesn't have to be romantic. Sometimes non-romantic ones are better
@@zaiks0105 Hey The Time Isn't Right For Me Yet Plus Relationships Are Alot Of Work
Only just found your channel, wow where have you been? so glad i found you. You make more sense than anything i've seen so far.
Thank you very much!
Nice advice John , i will keep it in mind , Thank you
So basically wanting women makes you unattractive. And when you're so confident that you feel you deserve better then finally they come. It's an unattainable desire. We want what we can't have, and we can't have women at our lowest, neither are we excited for women at our best.
"She's not yours, it's just your turn! "
This is all true stuff and not that difficult to do. We work on ourselves and the rest comes more easily.
I wish my Dad had told me this years ago. It's true and there's a lot to be said for finding someone interested in you when you're doing something you like.
Great advice John and these chicks play some serious games nowadays
I was financially destroyed by women. I'm very careful the last decade or so....many of us men learned the hard way. Shit happens....be careful gents.
Well, it goes both ways doesn't it? Three of my girlfriends have each lost several hundred thousand dollars to nasty guys. Women have their own money now too.
The first thing every father needs to do for their son when they reach legal age, is to go to the strip club. Don't jump to conclusions just yet, there is a specific reason. If you have high morals, then your son is doomed before he even gets going. - By going to the strip club, boys need to learn right away how fast girls turn on and off the charm like a switch. That duality of how they use their looks to get what they want, and when they don't how bitter they turn. Boys need to learn how girls will sweet talk them into giving them money in return for basically, nothing. There's no other way to learn this quickly, than at the strip club at a young age. Hopefully, these boys will learn to STOP throwing themselves and money at these psycho b--ches.
@@Jacksbox11 yes indeed goes both ways....facts....
"After the catch and kill, it's no fun anymore." A girl once said that to a friend of mine after she broke his heart.
This is spot on all these points
Thanks for watching Martin!
Pure gold episode. Thank you for what you do.
Thanks for watching!
On point once again! Great content, advice, and relevant! Keep up the great work!
Thanks! Will do!
I now use skin care products, such good advice.
Very good coaching, well spoken, good video volume. Someone editing knows what he's doing. Carry on. I've subscribed. thanks.
Thank you Steve! Much appreciated!
You are right that if you give the impression that you "don't care about anything" it can be translated to mean "I don't care about me". And so, we must care but be careful & send the message "I don't care what you think about me, since I am for real". This turns the former on its head & gives you the steering wheel in relation to the latter & don't give anyone, especially females, the driving seat to your car!
Some of your videos are like - John is the father many men never had. Your way of keeping things cool on heated and polarizing topics is like of a diplomat. I’m 4 years shy from my 40s and I’m yet to find any of your videos that are not relevant to me. Thanks for your help.
Thank you very much!
I did that for 4 good years so I really understang what youre saying hope many will open their eyes
this man is so right
One other thing wanted to mention if you get in a relationship with an Asian lady over there u will be amazed at how hard they will work to keep it a good relationship there loyalty to u is incredible have several friends who married and live there now and they say it is the best thing there ever did It is completely the opposite from here in America
Asia? You mean the Philippines?
@@maxhope7691 Phillipines, Thailand, Vietnam, Indo, Cambodia been to all of them its incredible
I definitely don't have to worry about getting short replies or anything like that, because I usually don't get any replies lol. But seriously, guys think confidence is king, but it really isn't. I've spent years building myself physically, socially and mentally. I have a Captain America physique, 6 pack and all, have pushed my comfort zone out to the point that I'll approach the hottest girl in the room without hesitation, and have developed my conversational skills to a point that not only can I open, I can keep the conversation going as long as I'd like. I guess you could say I'm a "Chad".
But while I look the part, can approach and get girls instantly laughing and smiling, and can get numbers, I can't get anything beyond that. No dates, no replies, no matches online etc. Most guys I know look at me and assume I slay with women just based on the fact that I could be on the cover of a fitness magazine, add in the super extroverted, charismatic attitude and conversational abilities and they assume it's a slam dunk. Fact is I know guys who are in much worse shape than me, don't have the confidence to approach, nor the social skills to talk, that blow me out of the water in results.
All I'm saying is, if you think spending years developing confidence, charisma, and a great physique will translate to success with women, I'm evidence that it won't. Then again most of the other guys I know in my class have no problems at all so maybe it's a me thing lol.
That was the most slick skincare commercial I've seen to date, well done.
Ha! Thank you!
This is one of your best tapes for me. It gives me some of the ideas that I’ve been looking for. Keep up the good work I look forward to seeing more of your information!
Awesome! Thank you!
@@40OverFashion thank you for your Quick response! I am a 69 year old male widower. I’m 6 foot tall and weigh 260 pounds and my hair is white. I know I need to lose weight but it’s very difficult. I’m wondering about having some liposuction or tummy tuck done. I appreciate you showing your teeth and how you fix those. I love to send you an email or call you on the phone to get advice.
Don't need to be tested. Take care and yourself. Worry about yourself. Stack it. $$$$$$$ Again Take care of You.
Great video. The advice from my experience is on point. Keep up the good work.
Thank you Roger!
49 & learned all that THE HARD WAY! Great advise!