Listening to this is like being with my therapist again. She said I had suffered too much at such a young age and wouldn't fully grasp the toll it took on my soul until I was older and fully mentally mature. Now, her words make so much sense. I'm glad she taught me the lessons she did and took the time to learn me, to educate me, to strengthen my strengths, and not try to make me a bird to fly when I was and still am a fish meant to swim. How I miss her so much. She was the only person who was ever fully there for me unconditionally. Even when my insurance wouldn't go through, she took her personal time out of her life to be there for me. She was truly a life saver for me in high school. ❤ I hope God blesses her in so many ways. ❤
Heightened empathy that struck me to the core. Actually my ex husband told me I felt too much. Why he would state it is not you suffering. He was the extreme opposite had no empathy at all.
I feel so tired. Some things really resonate and it is feeling like an unimaginable pain. But the pattern kept repeating itself so many times,with so many types of people, that it is just feels like it has been dragging me down and i just seem to lose the desire to even want to deal with it any longer. Even if it would magically disappear, then there still is the outside madness to consider. So it feels like a lose- lose situation instead of win -win. I dont like lose- lose situations
This absolutely 💯 me. I survived being raised by alcoholic mother and stepfather. Police at the house a couple of times a week. My younger siblings were crying and screaming, and I was the only one who was there for them. I felt I abandoned them when I moved out at age 19. My mother was in a rage because I stated something she didn't want to hear. She threw her coffee and, across the living room into the wall, shattered the cup. My biggest hurt was hearing the kids crying for me. I used to give her almost my whole paycheck because they were separated. I was a built-in maid and children's caregiver. My song of misery did make me stronger. I did pretty well in my life thereafter. As you say, I became stronger and more independent. I still don't feel there is anyone I can trust completely or open the deepest of my feelings. It's hard as I was raised in an environment of shut up, keep your emotions inside, disregarded when I was ill. I had my sweet little pomeranian that I used to cry to and talk. As a now old lady, I still understand that if I need help, there is no one. When I get to that point, I will go to an independent living center. Which is fine. Sorry for going on and on, which isn't even all of the messes in my life. Still, I am too old to change. Wish I had this info years ago. Good wishes for all. God bless you and yours 🙏 🙏 🙏
Starfly52 decades ago the subject of narcissism was not allowed to be discussed on the mass media of the day, print, radio, tv & this is why many of we older folk now never heard of it.though 1 out of 6 are some degree of narcissism & all socio-psychopaths are narcissists!! BTW in addition to stoicism another trait of abuse is called "echoism" since 2015 & I have those traits as well!! I am 68 & after a lifetime of dealing with narcissists, it has left its dirty/mean/cruel marks on me & I feel it not just physically, but mentally, spiritually & emotionally!! Narcissism brings forth many of the other mental illnesses in people's lives, narcissistic abuse is the core of it!! Thank you & God bless
@starfly52 I really don't think you are too old to learn new things, that you wish you had learnt years ago, that would have made a difference and can still if we want it to, as every day presents us with opportunities to learn something new that we can take on aboard if we want to, We never stop learning until we end up in a coffin ⚰️ I feel the same way too in that regards of wishing i had known about insightful stuff that would have benefited me emotionally years ago,
There seems to be more narcissistic people than sympathetic people in this country and being a decent person makes you a major target. I’ve had to become a horrible person because of abuse. I’m mean and miserable and can’t stand people anymore. Can’t be kind anymore. Tired of having to deal with horrible people
I am one which you described, raised in an alcoholic narcissistic family extended household in a ghetto side of a city it is like hell on Earth but by the Amazing Grace and Faith to our Lord Jesus Christ i came out yah bruised but tough and resilient empathic. When i was in Highschool amidst of a major family infighting I stood there unmoved and compose and has Grace under pressure and my favorite Aunt whose like a mother unto me said I am one tough cookie! K
Lucky & fortunate for you to have had that aunt!! I have a baby brother & I saved his life twice & I had another brother a narcissist & I had to evict him, he was a bully like my father that bullied my mother & we kids for years & years!!
For me the big takeaway from a challenging life is that my reaction to it caused further problems . Those and their negative results eventually led me to question my part in everything .,The sexual abuse in childhood certainly was other people’s evil. And because of that trauma I took a series of wrong turns and choices which furthered my misery . Now , as an older widow I have time to think upon these things . If I did do evil , as I think I did, My conclusion is that God saw me strong enough to withstand the evil , see it for what it is , and turn to him. I’m a devout Christian and I thank God every day . I trust Jesus .
When you've been stabbed by the people you love, how can you ever find trust again? For me it's impossible, it's like a wound that will never heal, you just learn to live with it!
Love enters in its' own time...be not disparaging nor bitter. Open yr ❤️ & realize there is no "safety" setting. It's fear that keeps further love away. NO FEAR⚡Be BOLD
I wonder why I don’t receive help and why I try to be myself, but what’s really needed is “perfection.” Thank you AI program. You tried yet are not perfect either.
This resonates with me so much. I didn't really want to watch the video, but I forced myself, or rather, I listened to my higher self. I am not really a perfectionist, although I do check a letter or email a few times, but that is more for spelling mistakes and to make sure that what I want to say is clear. I can be quite wordy sometimes. I also do not check my locks three times, it sometimes even happens that my house is not locked at all when I go to sleep. That is not a problem, I am protected by the Universe, and so is my house. There is nothing to steal here anyway and most people are afraid of me because I am different. If I were to find a burglar here, there is a good chance that I would not punch him in the mouth, but start a good conversation with him to find out why he is the burglar? I do not believe in violence and revenge anyway, those are things that I distance myself from. 🙏🏻
Nah... No armor... No need to control things.... Things just pass right through me... I've become so strong that things don't even phase me anymore...."when you trust someone illusion has begun"
"How to rely on someone" always means not only standing still in your life progress but retreating. Sometimes I think that life has a purpose only to teach me that first. I have constant experience with that, the result is irreparably the same. It is very rare almost non-existent that you can lean on someone and something ever when you are so vulnerable. All those who know this or learned it in time are successful people who live longer, happier, healthier, safer, with much better mental and spiritual health, and wealth. Although one of my biggest nightmares is not to accidentally drop something vulnerable and helpless that depends on me like a pet or similar.
I tried in the past but became victim of narcissistic people. In the end brain stopped working but due to reactivate my strengths became 2 percent of survives.
Self reliance came because I couldn't depend on those entrusted and morally obliged to supply basic needs. Striving for perfection is the only thing that makes sense about being alive. My only control desire is with myself. Anything else is a mirage. I guard my emotions around females as they tend to be vampirical. I was born empathic, and meanness in adults/older siblings slowly drove it out of me. i also found in certain personalities it leaves one vulnerable to exploitation. Suffer? Not near as intense as some people. But I've had enough to want to give up life many times.
"Perhaps the greatest act of courage for you would be learning to let go, to trust, to surrender..." There is a fine line between courage and stupidity. You've just crossed it. Learning to trust will not heal you. It will only cause new injuries. Guaranteed.
Not true. Any of the points made in this video can be a liability if you don't possess a deep enough insight into your own self to truly confront the fears and ugliness of what is inside. Once you've made that monumental and scary effort, you will then feel liberated, and able to tackle the outside forces that we all must confront in a manner that is productive for your well-being. It doesn't seem that you have made that effort yet. Hence, your comment.
You have to find the right person that you can trust. It took me over 50 years, but I did find my soul mate. He lives in another country and we only see each other 2 times a year, but we’re in contact every day and rely on each other for emotional and creative support.
I have one other person who lives in Mexico (also), and he’s proven with his actions that he’ll risk his own safety to protect me. Also, I recently reconnected with a friend from junior high who is genuine and lovely - I have three people on this earth that I can trust. The hard part is finding them.
Your point is well taken, but maybe it needs to be refined. Every time a driver puts the foot on the brake there is an act of faith that a long line of people did their job right; every time you eat food someone else grew, transported, processed and prepared you trust they did their job right; riding on a bus or plane or car you trust. There is an old proverb that says: "there is a man who will not leave his home saying, 'There might be a lion out there'." Courage is the same as trust and trust is the same as courage. Proceed with caution for sure, but be courageous and look for the subtle ways you trust others every day to help build a profile to work within.
As a child philosopher I realized one persons great moment of suffering was experienced the same way as any others greatest moment of suffering. They can't be quantified.
We may need to agree to disagree. While the first 2 points may be somehow accurate , the next 3 are not. And the trust , or rather the luck of trust is the central point for those who suffered too much. I am sure about it.
These traits are the armor you forged in the fire of your struggles, the tools you've used to navigate a world that hasn't always been kind, but armor gets heavy, doesn't it?
🇨🇦when I allow people to see see the real me they just are too self assured in assessing me to permit me to be me happy or upset fully even though they think they are... as in human with emotions not a speciman to analyze.They prefer to diagnose me some way. I should walk with a mirror so they see them and consider their need to dissect me is not necessary to know me. Maybe look in the mirror and analyze you first. It is really frustrating being dissected. I am a person, not a lab animal. 🐒 as a woman, this infuriates me. With women it is like a constatnt one upmanship by comparing war wounds every time I have pain. With men because they have a desire to prove the obvious. I am not daft. And especially with people using age as an excuse, calling it a reason to do so. Age does not denote wisdom always. Children can say profound things too.
I have been a visitor in Hell for a decade and a half. Life is still very hard. This talk is not applicable. I have concluded that the suffering was/is an integral and necessary part of my journey to an understanding life. I am content and still receive and create joy. Life is not ca walk in the park.
Regardless of gender, I feel this video is meant for those that find it. That may need to hear the message in between the lines. Everyones life is different journey, for there is no 2 identical journeys the same. But yet, i wonder why is it women can and or do go through hell and back, whether for their spiuse, children, family etc. We walk with our scars and luck our wounds, and carry on through multitudes of difficulties over and over again. Always trying to keep the faith. Yet man gets hurt, and becomes end of the world for them???? Really
Those symptoms might be both caused by pathological narcissism or complex trauma (cPTSD). Anyway, people should get therapy, as childrend of those would also be traumatized. Because person with those traits cannot emotionally bound, the mother will not be able to emotionally bound with her child, thus the children will develop empty schizoid core, thus not being able to have object relations. That is just a flashy way to say, that the child will ignore or hate other people and itself. Then, depending on uprbringing, a personality disorder will develop. Thus trauma is contagious. Children of narcissists are borderlines, and children of borderlines are narcissists. Thus a generational trauma is being passed. It is all about emotions. Thus parents should seek therapy (it's very hard to find someone able), because their inability to teach children emotions might lead to their offspring suicide. So in order to prevent suicide, people who suffered too much should rather remain childless...
@jantrupl5900 I was the opposite. I did go to counseling when I was 17 years old. There are learned several things, my mother and I had role reversal, and I had a love-hate relationship with the biggest pig,my stepfather. He had been in my life since I was 4 years old. My own father was in jail when we all lived with grandma. After the foster care for a year. Thank you, God, for grandma! I thought my dad was away at school. So when my father was released from prison, I was age 9 years old. The nasty stepfather had to yell out at a family get-together, tell her the was in prison. It's not a good thing to hear at that age. Between foster home, where they separated me from my brothers to a eventually a shitty family. My mother abandoned my 2 brothers, and they stayed with grandma. Myself I was kept as a young housekeeper and babysitter. I was sexally abused by stepfather, and she never protected me or left him until he got someone else pregnant and moved out. I still stood behind her, but the drinking and her prescription drug abuse were devastating. A coworker gave me insight that I couldn't fix something, but I could control my own mind and emotions. Forgot to say I tried to do better with my children, but I agree that I wish I could have done more or better myself. I tried 😪
Therapy is the VERY reason we have people walking away from the very supportive people they need . Therapy is the very reason we have 65 million on mind alternating drugs and therapy is the very reason we have so many people thinking THEY are the hurt ones while being in therapy for 6-12 years with ZERO ability to live a decent life.
I don't think this logically follows entirely. I understand the empathic nature of those who have suffered, but lack of trust is hardly how I would describe knowing that someone is better off without you. This isn't to say there is something wrong with you or with them. I heard someone put this is a Christian framework by saying maybe a narcissistic discard is God's way of removing a narcissist from your life. This change of perspective points out the value of having others to share joy with, but it's the nature of empathy to see as if from another person's point of view. How could I not empathize with someone who sees me as a narcissist who God has removed from their lives, should I point out that they discarded me? There are some perspectives that are not internally compatible. If I am viewed as someone who would shatter a cup against the wall in rage, what do I make of the person who pushed me so far I broke a cup? The danger of looking at the Stoic philosophy as an effect of suffering will make some who suffered see that as a result of other people's actions, but the Stoic philosophy itself is to look at one's own actions. Nevertheless, anyone who has suffered feels relief at knowing they are not broken, different, or the cause of their own suffering and their actions can be seen through a lens of caring about others. Thanks for your video.
The 'who discarded who' feature of seeing narcissism can be seen in what I will call the 'flying monkey effect.' Anyone in this dynamic will recognize that there are some people who will take sides, so to speak. The usual method of dealing with that sounds like 'they were never your friends to begin with.' Maybe it's just that they didn't see how hating an ex or dumping an ex can so often be the result of previously unknown mental illness. If one can step back for a minute, people who take one's side are potentially hoping to also discard those you've identified as toxic. They will not be able to handle being discarded, so they will give you chance after chance so they can discard. I think a Stoic would not be able to identify what anyone is talking about as it relates to them. Having an incompetent alcoholic as a parent is unlucky. Being a homeless orphan in a war-torn country is suffering. Having cancer is suffering. Watching people you love die is suffering. Being a soldier trying to survive while everyone around you is being blown to bits is suffering. Having severe emotional regulation and anxiety disorders is suffering, not blocking yourself from love or happiness as a shield against betrayal or abandonment. That being said, modern suffering caused by modern life as located in a specific person who caused one to suffer should get addressed because anyone who has gone through that knows it's hell on earth to go through and anything that makes one feel like fighting against it should get supported.
equating stoicism and perfectionism and obsessive compulsive is the type of over reach that chat GPT and poor content providers come up with as queries. Producing psychobabble that is meaningless.
OK smartypants,whats the alternative,some old woman who is always on the phone, has a major dramatic fit or breakdown or family crisis every other day, LOVE?...B.S. carry on as best you can! i do want to start dressing like that !Can youeven do that in America in 2025???
Maybe you have, but it's highly unlikely. That would be a rare occurrence for a woman. Of course, I'm sure you'd like to believe that you're the exception to the rule.
@Justin88800 rare occurrence? Women have known more pain, sorrow, and powerlessness for most of history. No equal access to education, opportunities, etc while turning a blind eye to their husband's philandering ways. Don't tell a woman she doesnt know pain.
Jesus can heal all wounds. You just have to trust Him and let Him heal you. A little at a time. He is the master psychologist, master psychiatrist, master physician. But we must actively seek Him. I'm working on these things every day. Some setbacks. But trauma takes time to heal. I'm still learning g to trust.
1. Heightened Empathy
2. Hyper-Independence
3. Persistent Strive for Perfection
4. Emotional Guarding
5. Desire for Control
Thank You!
This is absolutely correct! But still can’t trust anyone ever again.
AMEN to that!Trust like a mirror once broken will never be the same again.😊
Same here I can't trust anyone ever again
Ditto. Maybe we need to start a club.
Looking at the comments it looks like it does not add anything valuable to the sick situation. So i will pass this video thank you
Narcissism ia a trait that brings stoicism & echoism in emphatic people's lives & I am one myself!!
Listening to this is like being with my therapist again. She said I had suffered too much at such a young age and wouldn't fully grasp the toll it took on my soul until I was older and fully mentally mature. Now, her words make so much sense. I'm glad she taught me the lessons she did and took the time to learn me, to educate me, to strengthen my strengths, and not try to make me a bird to fly when I was and still am a fish meant to swim. How I miss her so much. She was the only person who was ever fully there for me unconditionally. Even when my insurance wouldn't go through, she took her personal time out of her life to be there for me. She was truly a life saver for me in high school. ❤ I hope God blesses her in so many ways. ❤
@@sparklyautisticrat sounds like my therapist. Now I'm retired & seem to only want to be left alone. No drama. No karens. Just quiet.
Heightened empathy that struck me to the core. Actually my ex husband told me I felt too much. Why he would state it is not you suffering. He was the extreme opposite had no empathy at all.
Narcissistic I suppose he was and so sorry 😢❤
I feel so tired.
Some things really resonate and it is feeling like an unimaginable pain.
But the pattern kept repeating itself so many times,with so many types of people, that it is just feels like it has been dragging me down and i just seem to lose the desire to even want to deal with it any longer. Even if it would magically disappear, then there still is the outside madness to consider. So it feels like a lose- lose situation instead of win -win.
I dont like lose- lose situations
I found inner peace in solitude and it's wonderful.
This absolutely 💯 me. I survived being raised by alcoholic mother and stepfather. Police at the house a couple of times a week. My younger siblings were crying and screaming, and I was the only one who was there for them. I felt I abandoned them when I moved out at age 19. My mother was in a rage because I stated something she didn't want to hear. She threw her coffee and, across the living room into the wall, shattered the cup. My biggest hurt was hearing the kids crying for me. I used to give her almost my whole paycheck because they were separated. I was a built-in maid and children's caregiver. My song of misery did make me stronger. I did pretty well in my life thereafter. As you say, I became stronger and more independent. I still don't feel there is anyone I can trust completely or open the deepest of my feelings. It's hard as I was raised in an environment of shut up, keep your emotions inside, disregarded when I was ill. I had my sweet little pomeranian that I used to cry to and talk. As a now old lady, I still understand that if I need help, there is no one. When I get to that point, I will go to an independent living center. Which is fine. Sorry for going on and on, which isn't even all of the messes in my life. Still, I am too old to change. Wish I had this info years ago. Good wishes for all. God bless you and yours 🙏 🙏 🙏
Starfly52 decades ago the subject of narcissism was not allowed to be discussed on the mass media of the day, print, radio, tv & this is why many of we older folk now never heard of it.though 1 out of 6 are some degree of narcissism & all socio-psychopaths are narcissists!! BTW in addition to stoicism another trait of abuse is called "echoism" since 2015 & I have those traits as well!! I am 68 & after a lifetime of dealing with narcissists, it has left its dirty/mean/cruel marks on me & I feel it not just physically, but mentally, spiritually & emotionally!! Narcissism brings forth many of the other mental illnesses in people's lives, narcissistic abuse is the core of it!! Thank you & God bless
@starfly52
I really don't think you are too old to learn new things,
that you wish you had learnt years ago,
that would have made a difference and can still if we want it to,
as every day presents us with opportunities to learn something new that we can take on aboard if we want to,
We never stop learning until we end up in a coffin ⚰️
I feel the same way too in that regards of wishing i had known about insightful stuff that would have benefited me emotionally years ago,
There seems to be more narcissistic people than sympathetic people in this country and being a decent person makes you a major target. I’ve had to become a horrible person because of abuse. I’m mean and miserable and can’t stand people anymore. Can’t be kind anymore. Tired of having to deal with horrible people
The Lord God Almightys Son,Jesus CHRIST can Help You.🙏♥️💯Never too late.
I am very religious from 4yo and I have been protected by God and blessed. ❤@vnette9777
Nothing short of an angel from heaven, could make me trust again.
I feel you
And which angel would it be...above or below. 🪽🪶🐦🔥
As above so below, angel might not work either brother😉
likewise ,
I am one which you described, raised in an alcoholic narcissistic family extended household in a ghetto side of a city it is like hell on Earth but by the Amazing Grace and Faith to our Lord Jesus Christ i came out yah bruised but tough and resilient empathic. When i was in Highschool amidst of a major family infighting I stood there unmoved and compose and has Grace under pressure and my favorite Aunt whose like a mother unto me said I am one tough cookie! K
Lucky & fortunate for you to have had that aunt!! I have a baby brother & I saved his life twice & I had another brother a narcissist & I had to evict him, he was a bully like my father that bullied my mother & we kids for years & years!!
🙏♥️💯✨️✨️✨️
For me the big takeaway from a challenging life is that my reaction to it caused further problems . Those and their negative results eventually led me to question my part in everything .,The sexual abuse in childhood certainly was other people’s evil. And because of that trauma I took a series of wrong turns and choices which furthered my misery . Now , as an older widow I have time to think upon these things . If I did do evil , as I think I did, My conclusion is that God saw me strong enough to withstand the evil , see it for what it is , and turn to him. I’m a devout Christian and I thank God every day . I trust Jesus .
Decades ago the subject of narcissism was not allowed on the mass media of the day!!
@@alicesamuels3937 me, too! I love Jesus. It took years to transform back into my happy self. Because...Jesus has got this. Now I realize it's a gift.
Amen🙏♥️💯✨️✨️✨️
When you've been stabbed by the people you love, how can you ever find trust again? For me it's impossible, it's like a wound that will never heal, you just learn to live with it!
It ties into narcissism & 1 out of 6 have this trait in society!!
I came up with a saying to explain my family: With a family like mine, who needs cannibals?
Love enters in its' own time...be not disparaging nor bitter. Open yr ❤️ & realize there is no "safety" setting. It's fear that keeps further love away.
NO FEAR⚡Be BOLD
Just like a botched incision. Thankfully the surgeon who did it suddenly took sick and croaked.
I’d love to let go of the armor, but I can’t. I don’t know how and it’s terrifying to think about. I will be like this until I die.
Without pain, the heart is hollow. Pain shapes us, it's our job to make sure it does not define us.
@ well then my heart is very full.
This is eerie it rings so true.
My dad and I have both suffered more than most, but thank God I have what I saw in my dad’s life as a guide to get through mine,
Being alone is joy, associating with degenerate or malevolent people simply for "Fitting In" is insane self destruction.
I wonder why I don’t receive help and why I try to be myself, but what’s really needed is “perfection.” Thank you AI program. You tried yet are not perfect either.
I cried listening to your video. Yes, I survived.
This resonates with me so much. I didn't really want to watch the video, but I forced myself, or rather, I listened to my higher self. I am not really a perfectionist, although I do check a letter or email a few times, but that is more for spelling mistakes and to make sure that what I want to say is clear. I can be quite wordy sometimes. I also do not check my locks three times, it sometimes even happens that my house is not locked at all when I go to sleep. That is not a problem, I am protected by the Universe, and so is my house. There is nothing to steal here anyway and most people are afraid of me because I am different. If I were to find a burglar here, there is a good chance that I would not punch him in the mouth, but start a good conversation with him to find out why he is the burglar? I do not believe in violence and revenge anyway, those are things that I distance myself from. 🙏🏻
As Gems are polished to shine so as men are perfected through trials. Seneca Roman Senator Stoic Philosopher
Absolutely correct 💯
Hell on earth. I cant even get drunk.
😢😢
Great value and unique points...very good.
Nah... No armor... No need to control things.... Things just pass right through me... I've become so strong that things don't even phase me anymore...."when you trust someone illusion has begun"
"How to rely on someone" always means not only standing still in your life progress but retreating. Sometimes I think that life has a purpose only to teach me that first. I have constant experience with that, the result is irreparably the same. It is very rare almost non-existent that you can lean on someone and something ever when you are so vulnerable. All those who know this or learned it in time are successful people who live longer, happier, healthier, safer, with much better mental and spiritual health, and wealth. Although one of my biggest nightmares is not to accidentally drop something vulnerable and helpless that depends on me like a pet or similar.
"Suffering is to life what the fire is to the forge. It can either steel a man or reduce him to ashes" V. Fowler.
I tried in the past but became victim of narcissistic people. In the end brain stopped working but due to reactivate my strengths became 2 percent of survives.
Yes on 1-4, no for #5 as I stopped trying to control anything external...
I've been walking with the heavy grocery bags, I know the feeling.
I asked god 4 wisdom, knowledge, enlightenment and discernment, god i wish i nvr had, it brought me much profound sorrows...😢
For much wisdom can result in much sorrow, and those who increase their knowledge also increase their grief. Ecclesiastes 1:18
INFJ Aquarius here - Excellent analysis ❤
Self reliance came because I couldn't depend on those entrusted and morally obliged to supply basic needs.
Striving for perfection is the only thing that makes sense about being alive.
My only control desire is with myself. Anything else is a mirage.
I guard my emotions around females as they tend to be vampirical.
I was born empathic, and meanness in adults/older siblings slowly drove it out of me. i also found in certain personalities it leaves one vulnerable to exploitation.
Suffer? Not near as intense as some people. But I've had enough to want to give up life many times.
OMG, this is 100% me .
Wow !
what about the ones who have evolved past these 5 traits from personal introspection and healing. would be curious on your take on that .
Love stoicism ❤️
Perfection is to strive for and not a destiny.
Thank you for your content 🙏🌹🌃
Dear God! You just described me better than I could describe myself
"Perhaps the greatest act of courage for you would be learning to let go, to trust, to surrender..."
There is a fine line between courage and stupidity. You've just crossed it. Learning to trust will not heal you. It will only cause new injuries. Guaranteed.
Not true. Any of the points made in this video can be a liability if you don't possess a deep enough insight into your own self to truly confront the fears and ugliness of what is inside. Once you've made that monumental and scary effort, you will then feel liberated, and able to tackle the outside forces that we all must confront in a manner that is productive for your well-being. It doesn't seem that you have made that effort yet. Hence, your comment.
You have to find the right person that you can trust. It took me over 50 years, but I did find my soul mate. He lives in another country and we only see each other 2 times a year, but we’re in contact every day and rely on each other for emotional and creative support.
I have one other person who lives in Mexico (also), and he’s proven with his actions that he’ll risk his own safety to protect me. Also, I recently reconnected with a friend from junior high who is genuine and lovely - I have three people on this earth that I can trust. The hard part is finding them.
@johnstorton the last time I tried to trust someone they lied to me trust ?????? Trust no one they will lie to you 💯
Your point is well taken, but maybe it needs to be refined. Every time a driver puts the foot on the brake there is an act of faith that a long line of people did their job right; every time you eat food someone else grew, transported, processed and prepared you trust they did their job right; riding on a bus or plane or car you trust. There is an old proverb that says: "there is a man who will not leave his home saying, 'There might be a lion out there'." Courage is the same as trust and trust is the same as courage. Proceed with caution for sure, but be courageous and look for the subtle ways you trust others every day to help build a profile to work within.
Yep. I can relate
spot on!
As a child philosopher I realized one persons great moment of suffering was experienced the same way as any others greatest moment of suffering. They can't be quantified.
That's brilliant. 👍
Wow profound words
We may need to agree to disagree. While the first 2 points may be somehow accurate , the next 3 are not. And the trust , or rather the luck of trust is the central point for those who suffered too much. I am sure about it.
Only trust God to plan my way
Suffering brings about enlightenment imo...
These traits are the armor you forged in the fire of your struggles, the tools you've used to navigate a world that hasn't always been kind, but armor gets heavy, doesn't it?
Perfectionism & control ain't a part of me at all. I hate people, I'm always alone.
Never got a helping hand from anyone.
😢😢
I must be earned that simple💯👌!
🇨🇦when I allow people to see see the real me they just are too self assured in assessing me to permit me to be me happy or upset fully even though they think they are... as in human with emotions not a speciman to analyze.They prefer to diagnose me some way. I should walk with a mirror so they see them and consider their need to dissect me is not necessary to know me. Maybe look in the mirror and analyze you first. It is really frustrating being dissected. I am a person, not a lab animal. 🐒 as a woman, this infuriates me. With women it is like a constatnt one upmanship by comparing war wounds every time I have pain. With men because they have a desire to prove the obvious. I am not daft. And especially with people using age as an excuse, calling it a reason to do so. Age does not denote wisdom always. Children can say profound things too.
I have been a visitor in Hell for a decade and a half. Life is still very hard. This talk is not applicable. I have concluded that the suffering was/is an integral and necessary part of my journey to an understanding life. I am content and still receive and create joy. Life is not ca walk in the park.
Sounds like they are describing those with cappy asc.
Actually suffering too much causes much more extreme change.
This does not express that.
True. Such as CPTSD, hyper-vigilance, social isolation, social awkardness, substance abuse, people pleasing, and many other mal-adaptive behaviors.
That's good!
I know.
Regardless of gender, I feel this video is meant for those that find it. That may need to hear the message in between the lines. Everyones life is different journey, for there is no 2 identical journeys the same. But yet, i wonder why is it women can and or do go through hell and back, whether for their spiuse, children, family etc. We walk with our scars and luck our wounds, and carry on through multitudes of difficulties over and over again. Always trying to keep the faith. Yet man gets hurt, and becomes end of the world for them???? Really
Wow...
we become numb/ to how you feel
👏👏👏
Those symptoms might be both caused by pathological narcissism or complex trauma (cPTSD). Anyway, people should get therapy, as childrend of those would also be traumatized. Because person with those traits cannot emotionally bound, the mother will not be able to emotionally bound with her child, thus the children will develop empty schizoid core, thus not being able to have object relations. That is just a flashy way to say, that the child will ignore or hate other people and itself. Then, depending on uprbringing, a personality disorder will develop. Thus trauma is contagious. Children of narcissists are borderlines, and children of borderlines are narcissists. Thus a generational trauma is being passed. It is all about emotions. Thus parents should seek therapy (it's very hard to find someone able), because their inability to teach children emotions might lead to their offspring suicide. So in order to prevent suicide, people who suffered too much should rather remain childless...
@jantrupl5900 I was the opposite. I did go to counseling when I was 17 years old. There are learned several things, my mother and I had role reversal, and I had a love-hate relationship with the biggest pig,my stepfather. He had been in my life since I was 4 years old. My own father was in jail when we all lived with grandma. After the foster care for a year. Thank you, God, for grandma! I thought my dad was away at school. So when my father was released from prison, I was age 9 years old. The nasty stepfather had to yell out at a family get-together, tell her the was in prison. It's not a good thing to hear at that age. Between foster home, where they separated me from my brothers to a eventually a shitty family. My mother abandoned my 2 brothers, and they stayed with grandma. Myself I was kept as a young housekeeper and babysitter. I was sexally abused by stepfather, and she never protected me or left him until he got someone else pregnant and moved out. I still stood behind her, but the drinking and her prescription drug abuse were devastating. A coworker gave me insight that I couldn't fix something, but I could control my own mind and emotions. Forgot to say I tried to do better with my children, but I agree that I wish I could have done more or better myself. I tried 😪
Therapy is the VERY reason we have people walking away from the very supportive people they need . Therapy is the very reason we have 65 million on mind alternating drugs and therapy is the very reason we have so many people thinking THEY are the hurt ones while being in therapy for 6-12 years with ZERO ability to live a decent life.
I don't think this logically follows entirely. I understand the empathic nature of those who have suffered, but lack of trust is hardly how I would describe knowing that someone is better off without you. This isn't to say there is something wrong with you or with them. I heard someone put this is a Christian framework by saying maybe a narcissistic discard is God's way of removing a narcissist from your life. This change of perspective points out the value of having others to share joy with, but it's the nature of empathy to see as if from another person's point of view. How could I not empathize with someone who sees me as a narcissist who God has removed from their lives, should I point out that they discarded me? There are some perspectives that are not internally compatible. If I am viewed as someone who would shatter a cup against the wall in rage, what do I make of the person who pushed me so far I broke a cup? The danger of looking at the Stoic philosophy as an effect of suffering will make some who suffered see that as a result of other people's actions, but the Stoic philosophy itself is to look at one's own actions. Nevertheless, anyone who has suffered feels relief at knowing they are not broken, different, or the cause of their own suffering and their actions can be seen through a lens of caring about others. Thanks for your video.
The 'who discarded who' feature of seeing narcissism can be seen in what I will call the 'flying monkey effect.' Anyone in this dynamic will recognize that there are some people who will take sides, so to speak. The usual method of dealing with that sounds like 'they were never your friends to begin with.' Maybe it's just that they didn't see how hating an ex or dumping an ex can so often be the result of previously unknown mental illness. If one can step back for a minute, people who take one's side are potentially hoping to also discard those you've identified as toxic. They will not be able to handle being discarded, so they will give you chance after chance so they can discard. I think a Stoic would not be able to identify what anyone is talking about as it relates to them. Having an incompetent alcoholic as a parent is unlucky. Being a homeless orphan in a war-torn country is suffering. Having cancer is suffering. Watching people you love die is suffering. Being a soldier trying to survive while everyone around you is being blown to bits is suffering. Having severe emotional regulation and anxiety disorders is suffering, not blocking yourself from love or happiness as a shield against betrayal or abandonment. That being said, modern suffering caused by modern life as located in a specific person who caused one to suffer should get addressed because anyone who has gone through that knows it's hell on earth to go through and anything that makes one feel like fighting against it should get supported.
Yea tell me about it
equating stoicism and perfectionism and obsessive compulsive is the type of over reach that chat GPT and poor content providers come up with as queries. Producing psychobabble that is meaningless.
OK smartypants,whats the alternative,some old woman who is always on the phone, has a major dramatic fit or breakdown or family crisis every other day, LOVE?...B.S. carry on as best you can! i do want to start dressing like that !Can youeven do that in America in 2025???
Everyone is wrapped up in there own BS that’s what I’m come to understand 😒
So women can't go through this, only men?
Eerie. Why didn't you show women? I've gone through stuff that would floor some men.
Maybe you have, but it's highly unlikely. That would be a rare occurrence for a woman. Of course, I'm sure you'd like to believe that you're the exception to the rule.
@Justin88800 rare occurrence? Women have known more pain, sorrow, and powerlessness for most of history. No equal access to education, opportunities, etc while turning a blind eye to their husband's philandering ways.
Don't tell a woman she doesnt know pain.
And what if he showed all pictures of women? Would you think it was eerie that they didn't show any of men? Not likely
Typical answer for a narcissist @@Justin88800
Wow, you got undeserved backlash here...I am sorry you had to go through what you do x
Jesus suffered the most of anyone
and God can redeem it
Cliches and preducices
Jesus can heal all wounds. You just have to trust Him and let Him heal you. A little at a time. He is the master psychologist, master psychiatrist, master physician. But we must actively seek Him. I'm working on these things every day. Some setbacks. But trauma takes time to heal. I'm still learning g to trust.
Toxic positivity bullshit
Shockingly on point…