A memoir isn't a parenting book. It's just that simple. This is her story and the story of her family. The goal is to stir emotions and challenge perceptions. Our emotional response to a memoir reflects who we are, not who the author is. When I first tried to read this book, I started it with the parenting "us vs. them" bias/spin the media had created and the book annoyed me. I stopped a couple chapters in. I was raising 5 kids at the time, doing my best to provide financially, emotionally, meet societal expectations, and trying to integrate my own culture and how I was parented - sans the major flaws - into the way I parented. I was exhausted. The idea I needed to add hours of violin practice supervision to my day had no relevance in my world. I was already overwhelmed by and trying to shield myself from rampant societal mom judging and shaming. Second time through, understanding this is a memoir, this is a book about another mom's journey, what she learned, and how it went awry. If a memoir stirs up emotions, then it's inspiring learning, growth and self reflection. That's what it's supposed to do. If all you get from this book is a feeling of defensiveness because you let your kid quit basketball at 9 years old or an opportunity for mom shaming, then I think you missed the point.
Biggest criticism from me: she could have done all she did without insulting, threatening, yelling at her kids. She could have tried to motivate them truely, inspire them. She writes every now and then how much her daughter was willing to practice when teachers or coaches inspired her, asked her questions, gave her choice in how do practice, asked her opinions about composers or pieces she played. Why did Chua herself never in all those years try to let her daughters practice on their own, with a goal? Or be present, but let the daughter/s practice the way they want, with a goal of learning a certain skill, technique, section of a piece? Who would love a hobby or instrument, when they associate it with pressure and degradation?
She wasn’t abusive when she expected them to get A’s and practice the piano. She was abusive when she called them garbage, stupid etc and literally harassed them at their grandma’s funeral.
It's not as if she grew up in a poor household, as she made it seem. Her parents might have come from humble backgrounds, but when she was a child her father was a Prof. of Engineering at Univ. of Illinois, Purdue and then UC Berkeley.
I am sure they came to this country with less money than most people on welfare today. Honestly, successful people will be successful wherever they go. If Chua's family wanted socialist system, they might as well stay in communist China.
She didn't make it seem like she grew up in a poor household. She was a second generation immigrant, and details what that usually entails, including not growing up in poverty.
It was intended to be a description of the problems with being a strict mother surrounded by those who allow their children to do anything, always accepting ANYTHING. My ex-spousal unit was very hard on my son, always asking him who he would have over on the weekend - for days, relentlessly. She never let him be a kid. She complained about his grades, decided we should take him to a psychologist because he was not working up to his potential. He actually got good grades in school but she wasn't satisfied. (I remember clearly when our advisor asked what his grades were like, the answer was a 3.7 GPA - his reaction was, "Sounds pretty good to me.) That's an American mother that won't let her children be children! Luckily they had me to help them work hard in school and to accept themselves. Amy Chua is extremely successful because her parents were strict with her -but she is merely trying to figure out what works best!
I think many people can resonate with this. Even being a fourth generation Chinese immigrant in Malaysia, we know very well the tupperware culture (no wasting). 😂
Need to do more job in clarifying the term of tiger mom - in a way it’s a disservice for Chinese community that some Chinese parents are cursed by their kids or their peers in discriminative way. In one extreme, someone’s supervisor actually went down on a woman faculty as being too strict using this excuse. It has become a racial discrimination label in a way. Sad!
Perhaps a lot more. Sadly, she probably isn’t aware and just laughed it off but hurts the community. Parents of Jewish and blacks or any race who raised successful kids never said something about themselves. I wonder if it’s Ma Amy Chua herself feeling uncomfortable about being a parent and was seeking reassurance through this. 🤔 It’s very unchinese to expose family details as well.
Parenting isn't an exact science. The younger daughter who rebelled at age 13 tells you your style of parenting failed. Piano & violin aren't the only instrument worth learning because in your perception they are the most difficult to learn. Music is as much about perfecting techniques (playing like a mechanical clock) as being expressive. You have Yo-Yo Ma the world-famous cellist so all the Chinese get into playing the cello? What about James Galway the flute player or Wynton Marselis the trumpet player?
What about Karen Carpenter? A singing drummer. Hardly led to drugs, of course (yes, I know it was a joke in the book, and I as a singing drummer, found it rather funny). Drums are harder than you'd think, for sure. Look into John Bonham, Neil Peart, Jeff Porcaro, Bernard Purdie. All very complex players with a lot of feel. Quite a few female jazz drummers, too. Particularly if you have a kid who's rebellious and especially if they are ADD, as I am. They'll get some of that urge to fight out onto the instrument. :) Better late than never. :)
Shk00design I don’t think her younger daughter’s rebellion proved her parenting wrong. Clearly it worked well on her first born. And her younger daughter benefited from her strict parenting that instilled a work ethic in her. Any changes her parenting with lulu after she realized it’s not really for her.
I have just finished reading the book and I must admit it's amazing, I'm sorry I didn't know about it earlier. Now, when reading the book I was expecting some old, fat granny with bad teeth from drinking too much tea and eating chocolate, who hates the entire world till noon, and after noon hates herself. This sassy lady was the last thing I was expecting to see.
Would you clap and cheer if a man wrote a book about how he called his wife worthless, stupid and a disgrace and locked her outside in freezing weather? Or is abuse only okay when it’s a parent who is the perpetrator?
This is the best way to parent your kids and as adults they thank her for making them successful high quality individuals. This is why Chinese women are the best mothers of all.
Yesterday Amy's eldest daughter Sophia got married. Sophia looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding gown and Amy looked sensational in her Mother of the Bride dress. If Sophia and her husband have children; I hope that Amy will be a good grandma.
Would you clap and cheer if a man wrote a book about how he called his wife worthless, stupid and a disgrace and locked her outside in freezing weather during an argument? Or is abuse only okay when it’s a parent who is the perpetrator?
You make it sound like she crashed a car or something. She smashed a glass in an argument. Arguments between people who love eachother happen. It's much healthier to have them happen and resolve them than hide your feelings and never argue
A memoir isn't a parenting book. It's just that simple. This is her story and the story of her family. The goal is to stir emotions and challenge perceptions. Our emotional response to a memoir reflects who we are, not who the author is. When I first tried to read this book, I started it with the parenting "us vs. them" bias/spin the media had created and the book annoyed me. I stopped a couple chapters in. I was raising 5 kids at the time, doing my best to provide financially, emotionally, meet societal expectations, and trying to integrate my own culture and how I was parented - sans the major flaws - into the way I parented. I was exhausted. The idea I needed to add hours of violin practice supervision to my day had no relevance in my world. I was already overwhelmed by and trying to shield myself from rampant societal mom judging and shaming. Second time through, understanding this is a memoir, this is a book about another mom's journey, what she learned, and how it went awry. If a memoir stirs up emotions, then it's inspiring learning, growth and self reflection. That's what it's supposed to do. If all you get from this book is a feeling of defensiveness because you let your kid quit basketball at 9 years old or an opportunity for mom shaming, then I think you missed the point.
Biggest criticism from me: she could have done all she did without insulting, threatening, yelling at her kids. She could have tried to motivate them truely, inspire them. She writes every now and then how much her daughter was willing to practice when teachers or coaches inspired her, asked her questions, gave her choice in how do practice, asked her opinions about composers or pieces she played.
Why did Chua herself never in all those years try to let her daughters practice on their own, with a goal? Or be present, but let the daughter/s practice the way they want, with a goal of learning a certain skill, technique, section of a piece? Who would love a hobby or instrument, when they associate it with pressure and degradation?
I like the spirit of this comment. You can have high standards, even a heavy schedule, without the other stuff.
She wasn’t abusive when she expected them to get A’s and practice the piano. She was abusive when she called them garbage, stupid etc and literally harassed them at their grandma’s funeral.
It's not as if she grew up in a poor household, as she made it seem. Her parents might have come from humble backgrounds, but when she was a child her father was a Prof. of Engineering at Univ. of Illinois, Purdue and then UC Berkeley.
I am sure they came to this country with less money than most people on welfare today. Honestly, successful people will be successful wherever they go. If Chua's family wanted socialist system, they might as well stay in communist China.
She didn't make it seem like she grew up in a poor household. She was a second generation immigrant, and details what that usually entails, including not growing up in poverty.
The guy in the christmas sweater must be a joy at parties
It was intended to be a description of the problems with being a strict mother surrounded by those who allow their children to do anything, always accepting ANYTHING. My ex-spousal unit was very hard on my son, always asking him who he would have over on the weekend - for days, relentlessly. She never let him be a kid. She complained about his grades, decided we should take him to a psychologist because he was not working up to his potential. He actually got good grades in school but she wasn't satisfied. (I remember clearly when our advisor asked what his grades were like, the answer was a 3.7 GPA - his reaction was, "Sounds pretty good to me.) That's an American mother that won't let her children be children! Luckily they had me to help them work hard in school and to accept themselves. Amy Chua is extremely successful because her parents were strict with her -but she is merely trying to figure out what works best!
She is amazing
I think many people can resonate with this. Even being a fourth generation Chinese immigrant in Malaysia, we know very well the tupperware culture (no wasting). 😂
Need to do more job in clarifying the term of tiger mom - in a way it’s a disservice for Chinese community that some Chinese parents are cursed by their kids or their peers in discriminative way. In one extreme, someone’s supervisor actually went down on a woman faculty as being too strict using this excuse. It has become a racial discrimination label in a way. Sad!
I think she is a bit misunderstood
Perhaps a lot more. Sadly, she probably isn’t aware and just laughed it off but hurts the community. Parents of Jewish and blacks or any race who raised successful kids never said something about themselves. I wonder if it’s Ma Amy Chua herself feeling uncomfortable about being a parent and was seeking reassurance through this. 🤔 It’s very unchinese to expose family details as well.
@@drannoc100 She is Chinese AMERICAN, so of course, she is not completely chinese.
Parenting isn't an exact science. The younger daughter who rebelled at age 13 tells you your style of parenting failed.
Piano & violin aren't the only instrument worth learning because in your perception they are the most difficult to learn. Music is as much about perfecting techniques (playing like a mechanical clock) as being expressive. You have Yo-Yo Ma the world-famous cellist so all the Chinese get into playing the cello? What about James Galway the flute player or Wynton Marselis the trumpet player?
Just because one of her daughters rebelled one time doesn’t mean her parenting technique failed.
What about Karen Carpenter? A singing drummer. Hardly led to drugs, of course (yes, I know it was a joke in the book, and I as a singing drummer, found it rather funny). Drums are harder than you'd think, for sure.
Look into John Bonham, Neil Peart, Jeff Porcaro, Bernard Purdie. All very complex players with a lot of feel.
Quite a few female jazz drummers, too.
Particularly if you have a kid who's rebellious and especially if they are ADD, as I am. They'll get some of that urge to fight out onto the instrument. :)
Better late than never. :)
Shk00design I don’t think her younger daughter’s rebellion proved her parenting wrong. Clearly it worked well on her first born. And her younger daughter benefited from her strict parenting that instilled a work ethic in her. Any changes her parenting with lulu after she realized it’s not really for her.
I guess american styled parenting is a disaster bcz American kids rebell a lot more. Also the Children ended up being successful.
I guess she is more a femal tiger than a tiger mother, which is what is defined according to Chinese culture.
The "Title" of the book as in the Name of the book
I have just finished reading the book and I must admit it's amazing, I'm sorry I didn't know about it earlier. Now, when reading the book I was expecting some old, fat granny with bad teeth from drinking too much tea and eating chocolate, who hates the entire world till noon, and after noon hates herself. This sassy lady was the last thing I was expecting to see.
Would you clap and cheer if a man wrote a book about how he called his wife worthless, stupid and a disgrace and locked her outside in freezing weather? Or is abuse only okay when it’s a parent who is the perpetrator?
@@simrenbajaj6000 Sure. And you wouldn't?
This is the best way to parent your kids and as adults they thank her for making them successful high quality individuals. This is why Chinese women are the best mothers of all.
its title
This nigga be a good mom I'm sure her daughters appreciate her efforts desu kawaii
VIOLENCE AGAINST ASAINS IS WRITTEN ALL OVER HER FACE. PLEASE STOP ASSAULTING CHINESE WOMEN WITH HAMMERS.
Yesterday Amy's eldest daughter Sophia got married. Sophia looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding gown and Amy looked sensational in her Mother of the Bride dress. If Sophia and her husband have children; I hope that Amy will be a good grandma.
Would you clap and cheer if a man wrote a book about how he called his wife worthless, stupid and a disgrace and locked her outside in freezing weather during an argument? Or is abuse only okay when it’s a parent who is the perpetrator?
Dangerous takeaway from this book to deal with a tiger mom, smash a glass and humiliate her in public... that's the only way to obtain your freedom :(
You make it sound like she crashed a car or something. She smashed a glass in an argument. Arguments between people who love eachother happen. It's much healthier to have them happen and resolve them than hide your feelings and never argue
51:30
Весьма сомнительный метод воспитания.