WARNING: This video might make you mad, and the first part of this video is basically about the reasons I want to buy something, during this no buy year. If you'd prefer to skip that, things kind of turn around after 30 minutes, and at the end I openly acknowledge the hypocrisy here. This journey of changing consumer habits and perceptions is a long and messy one, and confronted with the prospect of "gifts" for myself and others (a no-buy exception from the beginning of the year "rules") - many of the same "shopping" issues rear their ugly heads. I'm not pretending to be perfect or an expert or even particularly knowledgeable, on this channel, I'm just sharing an honest account of this process and the thoughts that come up. Because this is a long video I also feel compelled to add, that I'm really not ruminating about wanting things "in real life", despite how it may appear on this channel dedicated to thinking about wanting and not buying material items. It IS vastly different at this stage, than it was in the years previous to my no buy. I know you can't really see the full extent of this since I wasn't publicly posting during my "shopping heyday." But even looking at my first "things I wanted to buy but didn't" videos, things have changed massively, the no buy challenge has not been futile. ALL of the things I "want" for Christmas are actually from the March/April wishlists (not everything on the lists, but a small handful of things have remained in my mind if I think about what I "want"), which is interesting - I somehow haven't encountered anything "new" to want? But I still want things that I wanted back in the days where I wanted more stuff? 🤔 I also know that I can walk away without purchasing these pants or the other items on my list. But I am not sure that I "want" to forego the upcoming gift-giving occasions for the sake of the "public no buy year", and in my entrenched narratives of Christmas being a time for "getting some things you want but don't need", my default instinct is to choose some of the things that I think would bring enjoyment to my life/wardrobe/etc. I'm not against changing the way I approach Christmas and birthdays long-term and working to remove the "gifting reflex", but as this is my first "no-buy Christmas" I didn't come equipped with the plan to change right now. If you have any stories or suggestions about how you changed your perceptions on gifts, I'd love to hear them - there will also be another video dedicated to this idea coming up, so you can share there as well or instead. Thank you, fellow travelers. 💙
i think it's an important skill to have an item you truly desire and may be perfect for you and... not buy it or acquire it. Not ever. Sometimes we need to learn to appreciate beautiful and even personally utilitarian items without acquiring them.
I agree with this! I just don't know if I'm at the point of being able to actually do it, and/or, maybe I just don't WANT to be there right now, being totally honest. It's like the whole "holiday gift" justification, I also know I don't HAVE to get an expensive Christmas gift, that's just been what I've done before. I know I have to learn these lessons eventually, and something in me does genuinely want to change this, not feel the need to get a big gift, or acquire the things I want. It's not that I haven't learned anything at all - I have wanted so much less since starting this challenge, I do see many things radically differently, even the fact that I'm openly discussing wanting expensive jeans rather than just going and buying them for my gift, and telling about it later, which is how I used to go about this stuff...
There are no jeans worth $500. There's just not. You could get custom tailored jeans just for you, that wouldn't cost that much. This sounds like branding and marketing
Ooh, I wonder what the price difference would be if I tried to get a tailor to make this exact pair of jeans, that's an interesting question! When I think of it that way, I guess the price also includes several conveniences: 1. Being able to order them ready-made without finding a reputable tailor 2. The ability to return if they're not right (which I have to assume wouldn't be possible for a tailor-made garment) and, 3. Not that I'm planning to resell, the ability to more easily pass them on if I were ever to outgrow them or something. I wouldn't consider myself a particular fan of this brand, but, (influencer/social media) marketing HAS delivered these specific pants to my eyeballs, so there is that for sure! At the end of the day I can agree that there are no jeans worth $500, no handbags worth $1,000+, no cars worth $100k+, no insert-anything-here worth $ (whatever price is above someone's threshold) - but at the end of the day many people still buy things at ridiculous prices. It's the question of WHY, that I'm still interested in getting to the bottom of. Probably also, most people wouldn't buy a viola that costs as much as mine, but I'd guess that people don't have as much issue with that because it's my job - who knows, though? It's just interesting to think about and I appreciate your thoughts, too!
I disagree. What something is worth is completely relative and what seems expensive for one person may not be for another especially when it’s an item you really love and wear all the time. I would pay $500 if they were my absolute favourite jeans and I couldn’t get them anywhere else (assuming of course they’re of lasting quality as I’d expect at least 5 years of wear)
There's another commenter lower in the comments that brings up an interesting point: people used to pay the equivalent of $500 for a nice everyday item of clothing. I'm assuming Tibi isn't investing in the supply chain to the degree that older companies used to, but it's interesting to consider whether we really should be astounded by a $500 or even a $200 pair of jeans.
@Alexas.nobuyyear If you get a pair of jeans custom made, you may be able to choose a more durable fibre, like hemp. I have seen hemp denim fabric available for sale online.
@@DanielleFerreira-uk9yt Yes, till the 80s people of the working class invested in clothing. Those were: winter coats, trenchcoats, fur coats, handmade shoes, winter boots, a ball dress or a bridal dress, a business suit. Not jeans. Jeans were a working outfit and were there to be used up. A fur coat would be in the family for generations.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear It appears to be a dilemma: On the one hand you decided not to buy any new clothes. On the other hand you hoped that not buying any new clothes would help you define your personal style. Now along comes an item of clothing that apparently epitomizes the style to which you deep down aspire. Not buying the jeans aligns with your first decision, but it hampers your second goal: it holds you back from attaining that personal style. Allow yourself to get the jeans for Christmas or your birthday and start the new year on the right foot: knowing that you have been able to pinpoint exactly what it is that you expect from your clothes. Then stick to that: Only look for and buy what you know is 100% right for you (irrespective of the price tag within your means and limits). That is personal style.
I love the points you called out regarding the narratives that promote consumerism. I’m guilty of buying into quite a few of them. They’re catchphrases I’ve heard all over the place on SM so it was interesting to see so many of them called out here. I recently took out my Halloween decor and realized I have had the same decor for 12 years. And you know what - I love it. Every year I am excited to take it out! I rarely add to it. Why don’t I look at my closet the same way? I’m on a similar (slightly different approach) journey to you and I have indulged in the “quality over quantity” items that sat on my wishlist for months and months - for me it was an $800 jacket. I wanted to share what happened after the purchase. I think the issue for me personally is that I ended up idolizing the item for so long. I really tricked myself into believing that it wasn’t because of trend or influence, but because I really wanted it (spoiler alert, I was wrong). None of this was good for my mental health. I would go months and months wanting an item, waiting, watching, imagining, hoping it went on sale, wondering if I should ask for it as a gift, etc. When I finally got it, it solved nothing. Not only did it fall flat, because it couldn’t live up to the mental image I had of the item and myself with it, but it wasn’t long after that something else slipped into that #1 role. There will always another “thing” that would slip into that role of being my most idolized, most wanted item. After that happened I knew I had to make drastic changes to how I shop for fashion items. FWIW, I ended up reselling the jacket, and I don’t regret reselling it at all. I’m not telling you to not buy the jeans - they might be perfect for you! I just wanted to share what happened to me from a similar type of well thought out expensive purchase.
Thank you so much! I have a few of those same stories, as well as a few more where the "expensive thing DID work out" like I shared in this video. How did you make drastic changes to how you shop for fashion items? Would love to hear any of your experience in that goal too! The thing that's also super interesting to me is that I do still feel the "want" for some of the items on my wishlists, but these wishlists were from back in March/April. I haven't actually felt that for anything I've seen since - part of it might be less exposure to "things", but I am also curious as to what will happen when I either get or don't get the "things I want" - what will slip in to be the "next thing"? Is it possible for that NOT to happen? Are these old wishlist-items serving as placeholders, (even without the actual wishlist), barring new items from the "pedestal of desire"? Or is some of the reflection I'm doing this year working to ward off "new desires"? Or both? Is there ever truly a way to know if something is "right" or "wrong" before we buy and have it? Is the safest thing to do always to NOT buy? 😅
@alexas.nobuyyear you’re asking the important questions!! Honestly, I didn’t ask those questions until after the big purchase. I think that the answers depend on each person, their experiences, maturity, willingness to learn, etc. I think it’s perfectly possible for someone to buy something they’ve been wanting for a long time and then not stick something new into that pedestal spot. I guess I wasn’t ready to not let that happen for myself 😅 The changes I made are still in progress. I don’t look at instagram fashion posts anymore- at least for now. I’m also not indulging in any content on UA-cam that I find tempts me to shop. I keep a pen and paper near my closet and when I get dressed if I’m looking for something I don’t have, I write it down. “Cable knit jacket sweater, dark brown loafers, etc”. I use that list when I’m out with a friend shopping. I’m also not shopping online, which I personally find difficult to control impulses and in person is so much easier to control. And lastly I have more heavily invested my time into my other hobbies to drown out my fashion hobby a bit. I read, knit, hike, and like studying and listening to classical music (not a musician just an enthusiast!) and making more intention to spend time with those hobbies helped me to place less emphasis on fashion as a hobby. I don’t personally feel like I can spend so much time on fashion as a hobby without it becoming a temptation for now. And to answer your last question I don’t think there’s a way to know if something is going to be “right”! That’s why return policies are super important to me 😂😂😂
I didn’t get mad at all at this video. I actually loved the deep reflection. Do I think any jeans are worth 500 dollars? No. Do I think they will last that much longer than, for example, Zara jeans? No (heck, I own some Zara jeans from the men’s section - which are usually better quality - that look almost brand new, even if I’ve worn them to death for around two years now). With that being said, I’ve spent my fair share of money on VERY expensive purchases that, at the time, I thought would make me happy. They didn’t and I sold them all, but I didn’t invest a tenth of the thought and reflection on them that you’re doing now about these jeans. If you do decide to purchase them, it will definitely not be just thoughtless purchase. I don’t think it’s silly. Loved the video!
Yes, why is the men's section usually where the more durable clothing is? I too have some men's jeans, that will probably last years! I figure some people who are here to be inspired in the realms of "no buy" might find this kind of content fixating on "stuff" a bit maddening, (some previous comments have suggested as such!) But ultimately it's probably pretty clear by now that this channel isn't a successful representation of a "no buy year"... but is hopefully a success in making progress on the path towards conscious consuming. Next year's iteration will have some much more objective frameworks (like a predetermined budget, for a start, which was also supposed to be a part of this year but went out the window with the plan of "just not buying anything" and therefore not needing a budget for the things I theoretically wouldn't buy 😆)
My mom is a seamstress which has luckily allowed me to learn a lot about different fabric types and quality. I definitely suggest everyone learns at least a little about fabrics because it makes purchasing certain items easier, in terms of knowing if the price is truly justified by the quality and the manner in which a certain item was made. You’d be surprised about how many designer/ high end clothing items are an absolute scam in terms of the price you’re paying for the quality or material!
Absolutely, I've even seen some videos on here about how designer goods are a total scam! So cool that your mom was able to pass that knowledge down to you.
Right... I spent $36 on a dress from Walmart that ended up being the same level of quality as something you'd buy for $10 on Temu. I have gotten so many better quality items in the $30-$50 price range so it really was mind boggling. It was hard enough to spend $36 on a single dress when I normally thrift. I found a much higher quality dress in a vintage shop for $20 a few weeks later.
For me, regardless of the price of a pair of jeans, there's an equal risk that I ruin the jeans with something (a stain that can't be removed), or I gain or lose weight or muscle and the pair doesn't fit anymore. Fashion changes, my aesthetic preferences change. Even a great quality jean will unravel if I get a pair with long/wide legs that will sometimes go under my shoes and touch the ground. This is why no pair of jeans would be worth 500 € for me, I'd just be too stressed about something happening. I'd especially hate the feeling of having to like and use something for 5 or 10 years just because of the price.
Sure! I understand all of these possible issues. I've even encountered this recently where a pair of my favorite pants are getting tight, and I'm having to put them away for a bit and will possibly end up having to let them go, and I know that the same thing could happen if I get these, more expensive pants. This design does have snaps to adjust the length of the back of the pants so at least they wouldn't get walked on😜 So another factor for "cost per wear" is also the "joy per wear", which isn't a metric I'm necessarily comfortable discussing on a channel about not buying or placing too much value on "things"...but I do have certain things that "feel" worth it when I wear them, and that is what's worth paying for, to me. Maybe I do need to mention that on video though and have some more dialogue about it...
I love your channel, your questions,and your philosophy to consumerism. It is very thoughtful,mature and necessary. At 70 years old I just wanted to let you know that the oldest shirt in my closet is 45 years old, and I still wear it,in fact many of the items of clothing in my closet are 20,30 40 years old and I wear them. So…you may be wearing those jeans until your 70’s.
Thank you - I actually DO approach wardrobe purchases with that in mind these days, and most of my "things" I CAN see myself wearing into older age. Sure, I might eventually not want to wear the tube tops or miniskirts (which were purchased before I adopted this longevity mentality), but who knows. I love to hear that this has proven to be true for someone out there! And I also feel that this is a quiet rebellion to the popular messages of constantly trying to rehaul our whole images or looking for things to swap out/update, in the name of trends or consumerism.
I love how honest you are being in this video! I don’t want to try to influence you as far as purchasing the jeans- but I do think it will be interesting (for the scientist you, observing the lab rat you) to see how you feel about the jeans initially and over time if you do decide to buy them. And probably interesting to your viewers too, especially since you are so up front with your feelings. Oh and I‘m right with you in feeling ”corrupted “ and would also like to be free from outwardly imposed wants. Thanks for another great video!
Thank you! I think it would be interesting both if I do and don't get the jeans, to observe what happens and how I feel! There will inevitably be some purchase I make at some point, that I'll be able to track the progress of - and you're right that I will be upfront with how I actually feel, even if it means admitting I was wrong about an expensive purchase like these pants would or will be. One of the major points of progress is that I am able to wait, I don't feel hurried into "needing" to buy anything, even if I do still feel corrupted into many ways of enabling my own purchasing through societal narratives about stuff.
It's a journey, you might overshoot but you certainly will recalibrate. Your recent videos exude a lot more confidence than when I first started watching your content. You're a lot more logical about why you're walking away from certain purchases and also why you're seriously considering others. Your reasonings are yours alone, what makes sense for me may not make sense for you and vice versa. Most of us are not going to live a no buy life, but hopefully we'll land on a low buy life in which we are purchasing mostly just what we need but also in an emotionally healthy way.
Thank you, and you've got some words of realistic wisdom here. What I am most curious about is where this continued journey will lead, and how next Christmas will look as I continue this kind of reflection, because that is the plan - it won't necessarily be another "no buy year" in the same way, but it will certainly be a low buy in terms of the parameters that I set for next year, and possibly focus more on building savings and budgeting more sensibly. What's kind of throwing me off this year is that I set way too vague rules for "gift-giving occasions" as an exception, I didn't specify anything for Christmas besides that it would be an exception and now that the time is upon us, I have no "rules" to fall back on, just my own ideas of what being a "conscious consumer" actually looks like! And in some ways while buying an expensive thing is "not conscious" in some ways, it is conscious in others. So regardless of the actual outcome in this specific scenario, the learning will continue, and if I end up overshooting this Christmas in some way, I'll be much better prepared to re-calibrate for next time...and in fact this year will already be a re-calibration from last year in many ways, which was comparatively a bit excessive, even if I didn't personally receive anything as expensive as the jeans I'm contemplating.
I can’t relate to wanting $500 jeans, however I can apply all these same questions and thoughts to housing. I am a homebody and care a ton about design and aesthetically pleasing/high quality finishes. When I was younger and renting apartments, I actively chose to pay for more expensive “luxury apartments” with modern and more quality finishes, vs a standard apartment with linoleum and plasticky cheap finishes. And now as a homeowner who recently upgraded from a decent starter home to a brand new modern build, I often wonder the “just because I can, should I??” Ultimately I’m ok with the financial sacrifice because I can still afford it even if frivolous, and it’s worth it for my daily happiness living somewhere that makes me feel great. And I’m wearing my $40 American Eagle jeans I bought 10 years ago, in my fancy house 😂 Everyone has different motivations and priorities.
Definitely! I forget if I said it outright in this video (downside of these longer chats haha) but historically I skimped on things like rent and housing aesthetics, because I cared more about things like ridiculously expensive clothing 😆 so just like you said, everyone has their kryptonite even if might seem ridiculous to others!
I wish I could relate to this 😂 you're living the dream! So glad you were able to afford a house in this economy. I love that for you. When we eventually get an apartment of our own I am also going to prioritize making sure it looks and feels nice!
The thing about jeans (and shirts) is that you risk them getting stained, especially if you have little kids. They're also likely to go out of style or no longer fit at some point. Take it from an older mom, there are no jeans worth $500.
If you keep those jeans for ten years that's $50 per year in cost. I have items that I've had 20 years. If I paid that much it would be $25 per year to have the wear of of great quality item. But I usually do not pay that much.I have thrift jeans that are incredible value they are Calvin Klein hipsters from the 90s that I got a few years ago for $15. However we have become very accustomed to disposable clothes prices. Cheap is NOT cheerful if it means you dispose of a poor quality item after a year or so or less. It's hideous how much we dispose of clothes that wear out but are actually poorly made and are not durable. I keep my things and rarely throw them out. Mending, altering, putting on new buttons etc all this is more sustainable. I have jeans I bought on sale for $65 and they're still going. I have redyed jeans and also when they get floppy I starch them. Then the body is back and they look great.
I don't usually pay that much either! A few of my other jeans are thrifted for $5-10, and for more "normal looking" pairs I would absolutely thrift or go cheaper. I totally agree that cheap is not cheerful when it makes things that should last, disposable. I filmed a video (yet to be released) where I was talking about how it's a man-made problem - if we didn't create shoddily made crap, people wouldn't WANT and be able to buy, shoddily made crap. It's not a problem we faced in nature, when if we made clothes for ourselves it was in our best interests that it lasted and DIDN'T need constant mending. It just doesn't make sense anywhere but within this age of consumerism. I'm about to re-dye some black pants! I also mend everything that can be mended, even my kids' "cheap" clothing is always mended rather than disposed of, even if it's frustrating to keep doing this with cheaper quality items. But especially if the alternative is replacing with another cheap thing, I'd rather do the mending - it's not just for preserving the life of a "nicer" garment in our house.
Girl ... No judgement if you buy the jeans because we are all a work in progress. But yeah, it's not okay to buy $500 jeans if you don't have 1 yr's worth of savings, haven't funded your retirement, haven't funded your life insurance, to benefit your kids, disability insurance, funded their education and paid down your mortgage, saved money for your next cash purchase of a vehicle, and random home repairs. Anything else we tell ourselves is just rationalizations for giving in to our whims and consumer mentality vs investor mentality. Can that money be used to help you pay for an aid when you retire? How would you feel if you took that same $500 and bought stock? Inexpensive jeans can last decades. Debt for non emergencies is not ok. I'm here struggling with you! Today I talked myself down from buying ballet slippers (because I am not a professional dancer and can do the exercises in socks). Meanwhile I am kinda hoping one of my $30 pants are worn out enough to buy a pair of black pants. The truth is I don't do physical labor so my pants will probably last another 5 years. Who am I kidding?
Thank you for sharing your examples, it really does help to have solidarity in these mental debates. There's such a long list of financial responsibilities, which you are so right about! But part of the difficulty is that it is a long list, and my "investor mentality" is currently very wimpy compared to my "consumer mentality" even after this year of trying to downgrade the consumer mentality. 100% on board for no debt, other than the mortgage we are never going back to that unless it's a true emergency. I think you're onto something though that maybe the best way to combat or at least mitigate the "damage" is to feed the investor mentality more, automate a higher savings rate so that less funds feel "available", automatically save more of my "extra gig income", have a plan for that in advance, which I historically haven't because it's never guaranteed...I cognitively "know" that it would be better to do those things but maybe I need to work on "feeling the hype" of putting money towards security and investing in stocks/retirement. Actually that was supposed to be a much bigger part of my journey in sharing here, the finances, I mean, trying to save more aggressively - but I kind of got sidetracked in the whole analysis of the influences I was exposing myself to etc.
@Alexas.nobuyyear You are welcome. I also think the community shares in the responsibility of not encouraging over consumption. I am close to my 60s. And I notice that today, we don't hesitate to tell each other to go spend "on that thing" and we even celebrate it. But we are apologetic about reminding each other about planning for the future and being frugal. That wasn't the case when I was growing up. In fact it was the opposite (and a little annoying tbh). We all have moments where we want to buy that thing. People who make money will always try to separate you from it. It was helpful that a mindset of thrift was reenforced by family, neighbors, and school back in the day. As far as the pants... If you had a habit of thrift and you never over consumed and this one time you wanted a treat that is one thing. But in your specific case, in this part of your journey, we are worried for you because it seems more like someone who knows they should cut back on drinking being tempted to have one more drink. Getting something you want for Xmas isn't bad, and you have made progress. We are worried it will trigger behaviors you have worked hard to change. Maybe we are wrong. Whatever you decide, enjoy your holiday guilt free, Good Luck on the rest of your journey and thanks for sharing.
@belkyhernandez8281 yes yes 100% on enabling each other to spend. My friend was talking about wanting apple headphones awhile ago and I felt weird saying "ok but do you really need them, they're kind of expensive right?" Instead of just "yeah, get them girl!" It's not even about not getting the headphones, just an invitation to consider if spending the money is worth it or if we are just in the "shopping mood". So I really am trying to do the same for myself, make sure it's not a mood, wait a certain amount of time, discuss with people, have it in the budget (even if it could always be saved or invested!) etc...we'll see how the holidays shape up as far as gifts this year. But also determined to not let it turn into a "shopping relapse".
I learned my lesson about spending big bucks on pants, my weight fluctuates too much, usually right after I buy something. I will spend more on a coat as well as shoes because I know I will be able to wear both without worrying if they will fit on a given day. Generally I don't give myself an out of "oh, I can sell it later".
Yes I also never approach things with the thought of selling it or even ability to sell, but it has ended up incidentally serving me in cases where I did sell things by more "influencer-hyped" brands (which were easy to sell/get some of the $ back). I have also recently outgrown a couple of pairs of pants, and the lesson did kind of sting since one was a favorite pair, and the other was a more recent (not this year) purchase. I would try and consider that with this purchase if I do go through with it as far as planning for size versatility, allowing some extra room, etc. Although I do have some expensive shoes, I can only go so far because I tend to wear my shoes out, I guess by walking violently...😅
Buying more expensive purses has set a precedent for me. It hasn’t been the exact same for clothes. I do find buying more expensive clothes has made me more content with my purchases but it hasn’t stopped the urge to buy. Buying more expensive clothes requires more research and it’s easier to avoid them if they aren’t near perfect. However I’m still free to buy at a lower price so I have to avoid shopping in other ways.
I kind of feel similarly with the purses, as far as if I were to buy another leather bag I'd never be able to go faux leather or get a generic version after having the Polenes that I enjoy. However I'm also still happy to use a cheaper nylon bag, it's not so much about price as it is the quality, I know it's not always reflective of the price jump, but in my experience there is a noticeable difference between the generic, even real-leather bag vs. the more "designer" options...same with, say, a pair of levi's jeans vs. the more expensive tibi jeans I already own that were not $500. Likewise I feel similar that if I am buying something expensive it has to be perfect or it'll be returned and the money will go towards something else. The goal is definitely still to break free from "wanting" things, and on top of that also learn to not buy everything I that I might want, but finding reasonable parameters for spending/acquiring things is proving to be more tricky than I anticipated, I've read somewhere though that if everyone only bought 5 new clothing pieces per year we could cut emissions by a significant level, so maybe that will be one of my parameters going forward.
Fun fact, according to a video I was watching earlier (The Financial Diet I think), people used to pay what would be the equivalent of $500 for a clothing item today (relatively). So whatever you end up deciding, that’s fitting to know that most of our clothes today are (likely) cheaper and make us consume more than we would perhaps. Also, love the coat… cashmere is amazing!
I saw that video! It DID make me think "well then, this is maybe the price I should be paying!" 😆 I also enjoyed that she did a nice recap of so many of the things I've been thinking and feeling this year regarding consumer attitudes and the overconsumerism we see on social media. But the point is that if I had to pay that much every time, yes, I'd buy much fewer pieces. Not to say that the "best" way is to only buy $500 clothing, but it might be the best approach to incorporate adding new (or thrifted-new-to-me) pieces...would I buy this if it did cost that much? I'm also considering trying the "5 pieces of clothing" challenge as a kind of framework for next year.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I think the bottom line is that $500 for ethical/tailored jeans is ok. It's the price of it. $500 for well-marketed, designer jeans that are made in sweatshops and cost the company nothing to make (so all of the profit goes not to the makers, but some company boss) is not ok. Is tibi worth that money or is it just marked up? Are you paying $500 for quality and ethics, or for marketing? Could you find these jeans second-hand?
@palkramona I've been looking secondhand, no luck yet. I used to do a lot of my shopping secondhand online so that is very much my default preference, but I have to be careful not to justify things because it's secondhand and therefore more sustainable 🫠 I'll have to look more into how sustainable of a brand Tibi actually is...I know the creator is openly against fast fashion and has talked about smaller production scales, doing fewer better designs...but as we all know it could be greenwashing to justify charging a higher markup on practices that may not actually be sustainable or use non exploitative labor.
@LaulaLintu-p9z I understand where you're coming from, maybe that's what they were referring to (I don't think they specified what kind of clothes in that video) and I certainly wouldn't bother with overly expensive socks or undergarments for myself, but for practical reasons I'd actually rather spend more on the things that get used and enjoyed the most, which would be jeans and sweaters for me. I certainly don't buy $500 boots (they'd wear out/need cobbling at the same speed as slightly cheaper) or even bridal dresses (to only wear once) - not that I HAVE to spend that somewhere else, but for my lifestyle where I don't quickly wear out "jeans and sweaters" it might be worth it to me. Not that I'm actually out here buying $500 sweaters either, or contemplating that price for any other jeans besides these ones 😆
A lot of comments about jeans not being worth 500$ dollars so just going against the crowd… it’s ok to spend 500$ on jeans if you can. You don’t need to justify it. As my Mom says (and she’s an older person and a single Mom of 2 kids, never has been rich or even middle class, lives outside US, NOT consumerist at all), it’s ok to buy something that you want and what makes you happy because the older you get the less things will bring you joy. One of her friends said “Why didn’t I buy those stupid curtains when I really wanted them?”.
What if you changed the way you considered the cost of the jeans? In the UK the minimum hourly wage is £12.21, so it would take over 40 hours of work, to pay for that one pair of jeans. So maybe... "are these jeans worth the amount of hours I would have to give up for them?". I wouldn't give up over 40 hours of my life for a single item of clothing personally. Our food and household bits shop each month as a family of 4 is £300... so one pair of jeans would be nearly 2 months of food and household necessities. Also, is the price making them more desirable? Is it because you have to consider the price that they feel like you are investing? How stressed would you be wearing them? Would you be having to change out of them around your children, just to protect the investment.... I really enjoy your videos and your thought processes. Its refreshing to have these topics discussed.
I love this way of thinking and have thought about talking about this more directly, but it's one of those things where it inevitably sounds really icky any time that I do. But I will share down here in the hopes that it'll be taken in the right way. Prefacing this with the fact that I HAVE worked minimum wage before, and there was a time of my life where these jeans would literally be a month's rent payment for me. So it's not outside of my lived experience. However, at the moment my attitudes towards money need a bit of work, because I am extremely lucky to be in a position the job I do does not feel like work, and is also not minimum wage as far as time away from home. Yes it involves practice time but I've never counted that in my "working hours" because I've always done that, from a young age. I've also always played in orchestra in some form, youth orchestra, schools, so it doesn't always feel like "work" and it's hard, when I get the paycheck, to prioritize the right things all the time. One of my "plans of attack" is to automate more savings going forward so that I just have less that feels "available." I also hesitate to mention that our grocery budget is probably over twice what these jeans cost at the moment, which might incur all sorts of further judgement! But my husband has strong preferences for trying to get the "best quality" we can afford, stay away from ultraprocessed foods, and part of it might also just be what things cost in our area. We shop at Walmart and Costco, which are both "the cheap options" for groceries here, so it's not that we are paying a markup for a nicer store. But that's another reason perhaps why it's not as crazy to think of parting with $400-500 for jeans, when expenses as a general rule are so high right now and it's hard to feel that it would make a significant difference. The price is definitely not making them more desirable, I thought about this shortly after filming this because I don't think I mentioned that aspect of what a price can connote about an item - and it's not even really about the price at face value, because if I'm honest I DO think it's better to buy one expensive thing than 10 cheaper things when it comes down to it, but, if I were to find a cheaper option that ticked all the same boxes I wouldn't hesitate to choose the cheaper one. And, depending on what we are doing I might change out of them, just as I do most of my "nicer clothes", if the activity involved eating messy foods or messy activities. But using my other "nice jeans" as an example - I wear them a lot both at home and at work and am happy with the purpose they serve in my wardrobe, while I know price is kind of a factor, once something is actually in my wardrobe it's not really a case of how expensive something is, because once it's purchased, price is only an issue if one has to replace something...I'm just not in the habit of constantly thinking "oh I spent x on these, I can't ever ruin them in any way" - for better or worse! I just want to live in the clothes. Sure I'll take notice of material requirements and not play in the rain in a suede jacket, or put silk/wool in a washing machine...but I think if the "worst case" happened and something I really loved got irreparably stained, I'd look into visible mending or dying (and have done so with a couple of pieces in the past). Sorry for the essay here but just hashing out some more thoughts, and I appreciate the opportunity your comment gave, for me to do so 🥰
@Alexas.nobuyyear that's a good point about how in reference to expenses it's a relative cost! I enjoy that your videos cause me to challenge ideas and thoughts. The fact that your not overly hung up or precious over items is a good point too. I have a 1950s coat that I purchased from a charity shop. It would have been a very high end coat and was mended alot in it's life. I think as clothes were less available then, it was more common to repair them and extend their life. I guess now we have an abundance of options items are replaced easier instead. I think the fact that this is an item you would purchase regardless of cost, then maybe it's really something you should just purchase and try on. See if they are still as desirable. I guess whilst you have the option to return them you still haven't officially "spent" the money as you could get it refunded. Maybe once in your hands you would know for sure. You would either feel "yes these are perfect" or "nope not what I wanted" but even if you have them and still feel unsure... I'd still count it as a no personally. For me, once I can buy an item or I have the item, I desire it much less, or I love it an use it to death... so then I know it's a good buy. Also you mentioned the discount lowering the cost for you, what about working extra to lower the cost, or selling things to lower the cost. That's something we have done for bigger purchases. We've recently just started selling off items to cover the cost of a hoover, so it's not such a blow cost wise.
I’m in the UK too. We’re a family of four also but with a golden retriever and one of my twins (they’re nearly 12) has coeliac disease and type one diabetes so our monthly shopping budget is probably twice that! Eek 🙈 definitely more like £500-600 but I do receive £520 in DLA every four weeks as my twins are both classed as disabled, £200 a month in maintenance from my twins dad (I’m remarried now) and I work full time on around £1 an hour more than minimum wage- my husband is on a little more than me but I don’t drive and work predominantly from home. I too wouldn’t spend that much on one item of clothing but have definitely spent far too much on numerous items over the years. Also to add I spent over £520 in the summer on school uniforms lol. Damn our expensive uniforms!
Can you find a store nearby that has this shape of jean and go try it on in person? I know you want the particular brand, but it would give you an idea of how it would look and while you’re there you could try it on with different tops and jackets etc to see if it’s easy to style. I think I remember you calling them barrel jeans- it looks like there are several brands that make that shape.
It's a good idea! I don't know if it totally solves the problem, because there might be significant differences (especially as many stores don't carry the long sizes in person), but worth a shot.
I do think there’s a price to quality curve. Taking jeans for an example, What is the sourcing price for high quality denim/ notions/ etc, a well paid designer, pattern drafter, person or people to construct the jeans, etc? I find that number usually by looking at the average price of quality small-scale brands who make their sustainable sourcing practices traceable, and I think it’s about $200 right now. Anything beyond that, then, is just paying for a name. It annoys me when influencers equate “luxury” branding with quality, because it often is priced well beyond what it would take to just make a quality garment if it were about that. ALSO I’ve seen no evidence that Bottega Venetta, Gucci, Ganni, etc produce things sustainably, so it’s very possible you’re not getting that benefit either.
I agree that what we pay isn't for the quality or the actual materials as far as the markup, and another comment was suggesting that a tailor-made pair of pants would be cheaper. Which I'm actually super curious about, but I'm not sure I could find a way to even get that kind of quote where I live - so in some ways buying expensive pants also comes with the convenience of NOT having to find a tailor, and also being able to return! But yes, paying for the name I don't really care about, like I said I'd rather never have to share brand info (or price!) with anyone who would see me in real life! I guess in a way I would also be also paying for the influencer/social media marketing that brought them to my eyeballs in the first place, which is also not a thought that makes me feel good about paying the markup. I still find it interesting to consider why I never went as far as Bottega Veneta, Gucci, etc. "expensive designers" - in my 20s I did used to think "maybe I'll get a "luxury" designer bag for my 30th birthday" and by the time I turned 30 I really didn't care to do that - which does suggest that maybe there is a time where I'll be more immune to things like $500 jeans as well!
Six days into my no-buy and my inner scientist is taking loads of notes about my Guinea pig self! I’m finding this really hard - comparable with giving up smoking several decades ago! I’m so irritable, even though the parcels from October’s shopping haven’t stopped arriving yet. Why am I cutting myself off from the pleasure of shopping? It shows me how addicted I am. Though we aren’t in debt apart from the mortgage and car, and we have good savings, and I shop within my means - so is my addiction ok? That thought process reminds me of one of the ways my mind got me to smoke again (briefly): I can obviously give up smoking because I’ve done it for a few days. So why not have the odd one, if I can control it now? Aaarrrgghhh!!!!!! Part of me really want you to get the pants, because it would be fun and whimsical and a rare treat just for you and a reward for your months of not buying… and part of me says no, don’t do it, you can make yourself just as happy for far less money by doing something else, you’ll wish you hadn’t got them within a year, and surely they’ll come down in price sometime soon. Anyway - whatever you do - enjoy your decision! Xxx
Yes yes yes to all of this. I think the important thing to remember is that it's not about the "few days" of stopping, it's about reshaping the "new normal" and also reaching the point where that "normal" is easy and dare I say, fun, to maintain! This whole experience of the expensive pants is prompting a lot of reflection about wanting things, and how some categories have been pretty easy and I don't see the attraction in continuing to want most things, but there are some "final categories", namely books and clothing, where the urge to want and purchase are still high. What aspects set these categories apart? What frames of mind do I need to cultivate to make these categories just as easy as the others? I'll be talking about this on video soon too I think (and by soon, it might be a few weeks 😅)
Thank you for being so honest. I think there are a lot of other people out there that struggle with the same thing, wanting something expensive while not necessarily being in a perfect financial situation. I think wanting clothing is often looked down upon because it is typically more of an interest that women have, and unfortunately we still live in a sexist world. But there are people who want the latest technology, the newest car model, kitchen gadget, etc. some of these things much more expensive than $500. I think it is all a matter of what you value, and other people who don’t value the same thing as you may feel you are making a stupid choice. So you only have to see if it makes sense for you. Personally, I wait at least a year or more before making a large purchase and generally will have saved specifically for the item ahead of time. This generally means the item is on sale which is nice and it really tests how much I want something. And if the item is gone by that time, then I will just keep my eye out on second markets or find a similar item. I also love fashion, and am on a similar journey of trying to limit my consumption. That is why personally I pretty much only buy secondhand and am teaching myself to make my own clothes out of my old pieces. I feel much more creatively satisfied and it is a way for me to enjoy my hobby without purchasing. But it is hard, and takes continuous mindfulness to stop the consumerism that is so encouraged.
This is an extremely helpful comment as far as contextualizing perspective here. Because I'm trying the "no buy" the default is to kind of feel "guilty" or that it's unacceptable to want things, but kind of like I said here I am currently shifting to a mindset of examining "why do I want this, actually?" at the end of the day, the "me of today" DOES still value clothing, fashion, gets a lot of joy out of things that feel very "my style" regardless of price point, it's not because of the price that I like these but the price is not necessarily putting me off, because I have a strong sense that these particular pants will bring joy from actually wearing rather than just owning or buying them. And you're totally right that that will only make sense for ME, because for most other people, they're just a pair of (possibly overpriced) jeans. But it's also true that the work of the no buy year HAS cut out most other desires! Makeup and beauty I view much more through the lens of "I have enough" and don't want to buy more things that I have to use. Kitchen gadgets? I now prefer to just use the simplest means or use whatever I already have, even if it's not flashy, fun, or "time-saving". Tech? Cars? Those can be upgraded when what I currently have no longer works in a functional way, and even then I don't care to have an iphone or "nicer" car. As part of my journey before no buy, I had already pivoted to searching secondhand first for any clothing I wanted, and found that I justified many purchases this way, possibly more than I could buying "new"...and it was hard to resist the "FOMO" of "what if someone else buys this one thing before I fully make up my mind?" And I can still be susceptible, as I experienced this year (everytime one of the reselling apps sends me a coupon and I feel compelled to use it, even though I'm trying to not buy!). Love the idea of making clothing out of what you already have, too! In the future I can see that becoming a project I'd enjoy as well. If I knew I could recreate these jeans with a pair or two of what I already own I'd do that in a heartbeat! And it would feel so much more "cool" to have made them myself rather than purchased. I just lack the skills and time at this stage of my life. Regardless of the outcome with these pants, I will continue the work of counteracting all the "consumerism-enabling" voices out there in society, as well as within myself!
I think the constant bombardment and escalation of ads this time of year makes it easier to rationalize something that 4 months from now will feel ludicrous. It’s a hard time of year for many for other reasons, and pair that with the pressure to open the wallet for any kind of love and anybody with a shopping addiction will struggle. Thanks for being so open on your journey and be kind to yourself whatever you decide.
PS, if it’s helpful, my husband and I decided we are only purchasing for the children in the family and if we have time will be doing handmade for adults. If we don’t have time, we don’t. We are planning on celebrating with good food and company and calling that good enough, as we already own plenty of stuff.
Yes! I do feel more equipped to handle the ad-onslaught this year, but there are all kinds of ways this season infiltrates our ideas of "normal spending", that is such a good point to remember. 4 months from now, will it feel totally ludicrous, or will I be out there, still appreciating the ridiculously expensive jeans? In our extended family adults in general don't gift for each other, kids yes, but in the nuclear family circle my husband and I will do gifts for each other, which has historically meant that we each choose one or a few things that we "get to acquire" and have for under the tree. So to all of a sudden quit that this year because of my "no buy challenge" does feel a bit unrealistic, especially as my husband's already talking about an expensive lawn tool and model trains he's got an eye on 😵😆 I know I could just let him have his fun and not feel compelled to also get myself an expensive "thing", but it doesn't make the idea any easier, that's for sure - I do feel like by next year I'll have a better picture of how to actually make it work, after one Christmas of "trying to be a more conscious consumer"
I’ve watched so many of your videos and I love watching you unravel your thoughts and tell us what you’ve learned as you go through your no buy year…. I think it’s very original 😁 You hit the nail on the head with all the sustainable, minimalist, eco what have you videos that are out there… essentially another way of getting you to spend your money 😱 Not in my wildest dreams would I ever buy a $500 pair of jeans…. mine all bought secondhand. I believe you should receive these jeans as a gift and learn from the experience… and then tell us your thoughs 🤣 I’m currently doing a very low spend year and the psychology of it is truely fascinating 😁 Looking forward to more of your thoughts 😊
The main question is “is being conscious consumer makes your life less stressful or not?”. You don’t seem less stressed in this video going over and over justifying buying and not buying the jeans then if you would just buy them and regret it. What’s the point if your mental health still not getting better because of overthinking about a pair of jeans? Wouldn’t it be better to just buy it and put it to rest? Is it worth thinking about it for months? Is it worth the stress?
Just thought that what Internet really needs to focus on is healthy consumerism 😄 because both ends of the spectrum (overspending vs sustainability) seem neurotic
So here's the interesting thing about this "no buy challenge" thing...I might be stressed, but it is the stress of a (hypothetical) scientist observing an experiment that keeps going wrong, and they want to find the conditions that would make it go right. It really feels like the "good stress" of creative thinking, in a way, even if that sounds ridiculous because it's just related to a person wanting to buy a pair of pants. But I truly was fascinated when I realized - hey, I've been doing this "not buying stuff" thing and as soon as I have an occasion where I expected to "buy something", a whole bunch of mentalities come flooding back in, even if they are slightly different, there is a lot of the same "justifying narrative" that I don't fully believe this time but still have in my brain, if that makes sense. It's also crazy to me how these narratives totally don't work on most items anymore. Over this year in many categories of former spending, I can appreciate how the stuff is just stuff. Makeup is just pigmented goop in pretty plastic, that eventually becomes trash. I don't need more than I would actually wear and use up. A lot of books don't actually change the way I see the world even if I thought they might. I can focus on what I can borrow for free. My home already has everything it needs, decorative items or more blankets won't add any coziness, kitchen tools for the most part won't make food prep faster...it's just clutter to manage. Many styles of clothing look great but I can appreciate them without owning, because they aren't "me" and I don't need to "try to be that" even if other people look amazing. BUT, when there is an item of clothing, still my primary category of "frivolous wants", that feels like "me", it all seems to come back a bit, and while I do feel like I can walk away, I still don't want to all the time. Regardless of the path I take, buying the jeans or not, this feels to me like the stress of being fascinated and curious, maybe also a product of a career as a classical musician where this kind of examination and drive to "improve" is a part of our daily practice, imposed on us both by ourselves at home and those directing us in the symphony at work...and it's also a lot of fun, in a way, same as performing music is, even though the result is always a bit imperfect. 😄 Edited to add - hopefully all of this didn't sound horribly pretentious, it's just a topic I'm genuinely excited and curious and dare I say, passionate about now!
I understand your perspective. I grew up quite poor and my husband grew up wealthy. As a couple our purchasing habits are extremely different. He is similar to your husband in buying expensive things and keeping them for decades. I cannot justify the purchase of an expensive item when I see so many beautiful things secondhand. He recently bought a wool trench coat but there are hundreds in the thrift store here in Korea. He said he had a great experience in the shop with the staff and he didn't need to search long. In the end he buys what he wants and I buy what I want, but it does cause momentary conflict on my part. And his influence rubs off on me just a little. He is naturally a minimalist and easily throws away things. I'm a maximalist is amount of things and I can't easily throw away things. But being with him and also being an adult with an income, as lead me to slightly accept higher priced items. But I still can't stomach buying them new. I thrift wool and cashmere. However I do think my childhood has lead to a mindset as an adult to want to have more. I also moved a lot. Once I can home from school and our rented furniture was taken away. We moved every 2 years. Now, I've lived in the same place for 4 years, the longest ever in my whole life. I feel like a lot of my overconsumption comes from building a nest when I've never had that ability (child, financially, moving) or experience. The Swedish death cleaning is a concept that helps me now declutter. If I died, I would hate my husband having to deal with my things.
It does feel kind of egregious in some way to buy new things, when there already exist so many things that are already perfectly good. I used to have problems buying secondhand too, so really an attitude of "not buying anything I don't really need" is something I'm still trying to cultivate or make more of the "default" setting. Just encountering some struggles during this season of gifts and the traditions I used to participate in, arguably over-participate in, as far as buying things during this time of year! I totally get how moving so much and having experiences like your furniture being gone when you came home, would lead you to building a nice secure nest for yourself in adulthood! I've also seen multiple mentions of the Swedish death cleaning concept, so maybe that'll also show up here at some point - I really like the idea too, even as I'm extremely grateful that I've never actually had to experience dealing with that for someone in my life.
$500 seems high to me for what is a very identifiable kooky-shaped pair of jeans that is likely to look like a dated novelty item as the fashion cycle turns. But if you want it and can afford it, you do you. My only point of irritation after the earlier video if you’ll forgive me for mentioning it, is that if you want them and have reason to acquire them, just get them for yourself. If down the line you end up decluttering them for one reason or another, it’s already going to be a stressor having to justify it to your internet consumerism jury out here without adding sentimental gift guilt to it. Also you’re a working adult who has grown three children - for feminism’s sake, I encourage you to buy your own clothes. Otherwise we might be veering into ‘review budget’ rationalization territory. Anyway, you’re awesome. Just some internet person’s opinion. Enjoy your clothes!
I appreciate that! YOU are also awesome and love to hear your opinions, from one random-internet-person to another. So I feel like part of this issue is that our "gifting" tradition needs a major overhaul - my husband and I have both tended to use Christmas and birthdays as a time to get something that's more expensive that we want but don't need, his things include car parts, this year he's talking about either model trains or an "edger" for the lawn - in other words, things I can't see much value in but it's the "time" that we get to do that kind of thing within /reason as far as the budget goes. We're pretty bad at choosing things the other actually wants, so instead we have input in the choice of the thing that the other person is looking at. So the sentimentality of gifts is already kind of destroyed in that regard 😅 probably should look at fixing that at some point. I'm not too concerned about the internet consumerism jury - as long as it doesn't grow to impact my actual job, as long as I'm honest and trying my best here I don't think I can be seriously faulted. People buy things that end up being mistakes - I'm happy to be honest and learn from it publicly, just as I have with everything so far. Never going to justify consumerism for "the plot" here though, no review budgets or any of that will become a part of this channel. I actually did have the thought that it might appear that I'm inflating the drama of these $500 pants with this 55 minute rant about it, for the sake of content, but, that's just how the cookie crumbles as they say. Finally - they might be $500 but how else am I to find a very identifiable kooky-shaped pair of jeans that seem like they'll actually fit how I'd like them to? 😆 Kind of joking here but in a practical sense, the cheaper versions are either shorter, more structured, or otherwise more "normal-looking" and at this point I WANT to be "that one person who wears those weird comfy and sculptural jeans on repeat", I am okay with that, that is the kind of style identity I strive for when I remove the "influence" of trends etc., with kind of overtly identifiable pieces (as my colorblocked coat, Polenes, bright blue sweater and some of my shoe choices will attest - basically all of my favorite long-standing wardrobe items.). I could be wrong about this just as I have been before, but in some ways the only way to find out might be to actually try it.
Fair enough! I’d mention the expensive things for each other at Christmas sometime in a vlog, it defuses my gendered perception of it and is an interesting topic in and of itself since I’m sure many people do this. Thanks for engaging with your viewers/commenters.
I think it's an interesting phenomena that we feel the need to justify our desires. Not saying this in judgement at all, but out of thoughtful reflection. I too justify why I want things. I am a collector of things, mostly toys and dolls, and some of the things I collect are expensive. On my own personal no-buy journey, I've paused all my collecting purchases. This has given me time to reflect on why I collect things in the first place. And if it's "wrong" to desire these material goods that serve no function in my life other than I like them and they are beautiful/interesting/fulfill childhood nostalgia. Do I need to justify it more than that? Do I only want these things because I live in a capitalistic society that places value on objects and the possession of them? Must I possess things to show my appreciation for them, or can I simply appreciate them? I don't know the answers to these questions. And I don't know if I can ever truly disentangle myself from the materialism drilled into me by this society or from my childhood experiences. I do know that I still want the things I collect. I still love them. And they still bring me joy to look at them. I just hope that after this no-buy year of mine, I can approach my collecting thoughtfully. Do I need every single release of this toy line, even if i feel meh about it? In the past I would have purchased every single release without much thought. I've reached the point now that I do not. Is the point of a no-buy year to curb all desire and never buy things that aren't "necessary," or is it to actually become a "conscious consumer" and think critically about the things we buy and why we buy them. I guess the answer to that question depends on the person. Another great, thought provoking video.
It sounds like we're encountering a lot of the same questions! And some of the same feelings too, about can we ever be fully disentangled? I kind of think that, yes, we can! But it might take more than a year. Changes have already happened for both of us by the sounds of it, and while I actually do plan to extend the "project no buy" into the next year, it may come with different parameters as far as "planned or excepted purchases", partly based on everything that's happening as I confront "purchasing for Christmas" in the weeks to come. My sense right now is that if I'm honest part of me just doesn't WANT to forego all gifts for Christmas, and doing gifts means, buying something I don't need for myself (yes even if my husband buys it I know it's basically me shopping for something I want) and this is something I would love to be "free" from - but, will I never indulge in it even if I feel "free?" or does getting to the point of freedom mean that I won't "want" anything enough anymore, to make it worth my money or time? In a weird way does that mean I should enjoy this last "wanting of stuff" that I AM experiencing, in case by next Christmas I just don't have anything at all, on the mental wishlist?😆
Love your videos Alexa! And your streams of consciousness :) I recently started a new job and the work I did for my 8mo no buy and this year was supposed to have a strict budget low buy…the low buy went out the window…my purchase threshold is higher because of the no buy but the desire for things is still high, so I definitely understand
Yes! Thank you for sharing. I also think that it could be easy to get "derailed" if we have to buy something (or decide to buy something), even after a period of working hard, trying to be a conscious consumer. I really don't want to have things go totally out the window for even next year when my "no buy year" time is "done", so I'll be thinking about what rules feel reasonable to continue.
My most expensive jeans are some thrifted men’s Levi’s £15.00, I must say I felt a bit giddy spending that much in a charity shop (uk) 👖😂. If you do end up getting the tibi ones you can be satisfied that you’ve given full disclosure and been totally up front and honest (not that anyone has to justify their purchases to total strangers).On one level you know it’s insane and yet…….We humans are strange contrary creatures. Love these cosy chats.
You said something that really struck me. You said something like things can be a burden and I really felt this. I had been saying I was going old school with Christmas this year, asking for things I use like my favorite Shampoo and face wash. I kept saying I don't need more stuff and when you said that I realized that was why I wanted to go old school (my mom would give us tooth paste and new tooth brush things we needed) I feel burden by what I already have I don't need more. This was a thinker.
Yes same with the toothbrush and toothpaste ending up as gifts under the tree! My mom did that, and I too have done that with my kids 😄 Also things like the choice of a box of cereal - we never have cereal for breakfast, but letting the kids have a box this one time, is comparatively cheap, fun, and indulgent. I guess the old adage of "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" used to signify a much more utilitarian approach, assuming something to wear/read were also chosen with intention, and there being just one thing that the person (in our case, the kid) "wants" as a gift. I've seen some advice adding a 5th and/or 6th, "something they didn't know they wanted" but you know they'll like (this is to address the giver's joy in giving a gift) and "something to do or somewhere to be" as well, which I quite like the idea of, and I might actually try this plan for this Christmas.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I had never heard of that. That is a good formula. The cereal is cool too, my mom never did that for Christmas with 4 kids it might have still been a little pricey for her at the time. One of the Nordic countries has a tradition on Christmas eve that everyone gets chocolates and a book and spends the night reading and snacking in bed and I have always thought how lovely that sounded. It doesn't work in my current circumstance but I would have adopted it if it had. I think the biggest thing people are starting to realize is they just don't need more stuff (at least I hope so).
When I was growing up (70’s amd 80’s) it was only the kids at christmastime that had a ‘wish list’. Adults didnt. What if you (all of us) just got a gift or two for family members at holiday/Birthday and that you just receive what people get you with graciousness. Period. No plan. Separately, have a clothing budget for the year. No plan just a budget. Buying yourself gifts at holiday time is definatly totally new and not part of generally what holidays are for, imho. Not saying I havent done it but it is 100% fabricated by consumer culture & businesses.
It's true I think that the "adult wishlist" is a newer phenomenon! I think part of it is that people don't want to receive gifts they'll dispose of these days, for sustainability reasons sometimes, or just pure clutter/excess, so maybe the consumer-culture narrative has been to "share a wishlist" instead of saying "we just don't need gifts". I will say that our extended family doesn't do gifts for adults, and if I didn't "get myself a gift" from my husband for Christmas/birthdays, he would 100% choose things I don't actually want, which is part of why we do it this way. He and I do want to exchange "gifts" (within the nuclear family) but we are both not good at choosing something without guidance, so he will also just get himself something he wants for his Christmas/birthday and unwrap it on the day to be "from me". I do understand if that's totally destroying the spirit of the "gifting' aspect of it though! I wonder if it really would be better to have a set clothing budget and not associate "getting something new" with a gift-giving occasion, because in recent years the "gift-giving occasions" have tended to get a bit out of hand, or have justified maybe more than is reasonable both for myself and sometimes for kids. The alternative I was thinking of is to set a budget AND reserve new clothing for the "gifting occasions" going forward, so that there's still the association of the tradition but also stay within budget parameters and possibly number of new items, if I set a goal for that (limit of things brought in) next year.
My motto is "less but better"...if this is your personal "less but better" (for instance, if you are someone that in the past may have spent that same 400 on 5 or 10 pairs of lesser quality pants but now you choose just this one pair...and you know that you can afford it without any negative consequences) then I don't see an issue with it.
I like this motto but I do still have to be careful that I'm not using it to justify "upgrades" that won't bring the biggest actual upgrade to my life! However in this case, I actually do feel like these pants would bring a significant upgrade. In the past, I would have been the person to "try x versions of the cheaper thing", buying and reselling on repeat, before probably eventually caving and trying the "real thing". So in some ways it is probably better to cut to the chase if I decide to buy this time.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Yes, I get this. At first my thought was "$400 for a pair of jeans?!!" But, even up until about six years ago when I made a huge change in lifestyle, I could spend several times that amount in a year buying clothes that weren't necessarily good quality, didn't necessarily fit well, weren't truly my style, etc. These purchases did not have months of fore-thought (like you have given this potential purchase)...many, maybe even most, were spur of the moment purchases. I also was in a constant cycle of buy and sell at that time. I wish I could recoup both the money and the time I spent buying/selling....looking back, it feels wasted.
Hello Alexas, Just repopping in after having watched this video fully yesterday. i noticed that you made multiple disclaimers of being both guinea pig and scientist and that you're not going to be flawless in your anti consumption values. But i also wanted to remind you that when you put yourself on the internet, your vulnerabilities are freely taken and judged by those who inherently misperceive you. I find your efforts truly brave and love the seeds you've planted in my mind of mindful consumption. It truly shows your commitment to expressing your desire for change and growth and that's rare on this platform where people usually take on the guru role
For sure! The lab rat vs. scientist thing is actually a new realization for me, hence bringing that up multiple times - I think it's one of the most important things "no buy" has done for me actually, making me an observer of my habits. I'm also okay with the possible judgements at this stage of my life - it's like I read in "The Four Agreements" (which I talked about on here awhile back) - as long as we speak the truth (as we know it) and do our best, what we put out is kind of beyond judgement, and as long as we don't make assumptions or take things personally, what we receive from others is not capable of hurting us. I'm sure there are practical downsides that I haven't encountered yet, so I'll continue to try and be mindful about it. Thank you!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear You raise a great point. I guess, to add to my comment, I appreciate your unique, detailed experience in the no-buy year, as well as your other videos. It widens the gap of interpretation for viewers who wanna apply the principles you mention in their own way
I love your honesty and I think you're so brave for laying out all your thoughts and musings bare to be judged by the masses. I sincerely hope you're not getting the hate that you are bracing yourself for!! I have a lot of my own opinions, being in a 'low-buy' year myself. But after watching and reading through your thoughtful replies it seems like you're most interested in getting to the bottom of 'why I still want these pants even if it's illogical'. I definitely don't have an answer, for you or for me XD. I still find myself wanting things, though not as frequently or as strongly as before. For clothing/bags specifically, if I see something I want, I usually think "I'll crochet/sew one!" because I'm super picky. Does it make it ok to want it since I'm 'doing a hobby' rather than 'spending exorbitant amounts of money' (but the materials cost a lot and that's one of the things I've had to limit...)? I just don't think 'longing' has to be logical and it's ok to want things, it's just unfortunate about the price tag affixed to some of those things... I've definitely been on the anxious, downward spiral of "I could be saving this money instead!!" but I think if you're reaching your savings goals / have a realistic personal spending budget, it's fine. There's no amount that is too much or too little if you are 'living within your means', to steal the phrase I hear the gurus tossing around. I sort of treat each month as a little game, and if I have net positive $$ at the end of the month (post bills and savings), I can put more into savings, or I can carry it over to the next month if I know I have a big expense coming, or I have to use it to pad months that I was net negative. And -you know- if you have relatives (like I do) that spend TOO much money on you during the holidays on things you don't really want (not to sound ungrateful), why not point them in the right direction? ;) One thing that has definitely driven me crazy on my journey is the "hypervigilance" I've noticed in myself regarding consumerism. It feels like you have to constantly be on edge to not get influenced to buy something, repeat money-saving affirmations at the store, or run screaming from flashy advertisements. It's akin to managing a chronic illness: you have to work hard at taking your meds consistently, and eating well, and getting appropriate rest and exercise, and whatever else...all to hit the point of remission, where you can exist in the world and not have to deal with the disease, ideally forever (while keeping up those healthy habits of course) but probably until you get a flare-up, realistically. Sorry for the ramble and the random jumping around, I just wanted to say you're not alone in these aspects at least, because they've made me insane also!
I love this, thank you so much. I actually on the whole don't get any of what I'd consider "hate", even if there is some occasional "tough love!" But the community I've found on here is generally amazing. One of the things that's most curious to me is that I don't actually want anything that wasn't on the March/April wishlists, at least not until I discovered that some of my pants are getting tight and it sparked a surface-level look at even more pants options. I can feel that progress has been made because I don't feel the same sense of urgency, if something "sells out" it's no longer the end of the world, I can essentially "walk away" if it comes down to it and not feel that I'm suffering. However, when is it maybe "okay" to indulge? With Christmas and a birthday on the horizon, those are the times where I used to OVER indulge and am very reluctant to let go of the idea of indulging, completely. At least this year. I do see a future where I don't feel as compelled to get a "treat" for the occasion. There is some level of hyper-vigilance for me for sure, but also the feeling that it has gotten easier and that it will continue to get easier the more I examine these things. And it's also become a lot more fun, now that I don't feel the "suffering" when I tell myself not to get the "beautiful thing". With makeup, especially, I've reached the turning point of seeing it as utilitarian enough that I'm not swayed by the packaging anymore, or the "new formulas", or the idea that there might be "better"...if I already have something that works, I'm fine, and when I replace the "essentials" I don't feel compelled to "add something to try" like I used to. Clothing was more difficult before and so naturally is more difficult to get to that point with, probably. But I really do believe I will get there, where it's just pieces of fabric constructed in various ways, and if I already have some interesting and true-to-me options, I won't feel the need to explore the "new". For what it's worth, I do think it's better to crochet/sew what you want, even with material costs, and "do" the crafting rather than just making a purchase. Both because the time and planning involved may insure that you truly want to have the thing at the end of the process, and because it's a you-made thing, which has other value beyond the item itself.
Funny you mention Sezane, I’ve been eyeing their clothes, and it’s a shame it aligns so well with my style as I am on my own low buy 😂 I got to visit their storefront recently and had a lot of fun seeing the clothes in person, but thankfully didn’t leave with any purchases. The cardigan I liked most was not as soft as I’d have liked.
Their knitwear in general is pretty hit and miss in my opinion, it looks beautiful (if the styles are to one's taste) but it often is a bit itchy, or mixed with synthetic which can make it uncomfortable, and still pills quite a lot and needs maintenance! It's also a brand I see influencers with huge collections of! Which definitely influenced me to buy some of their clothes, despite reselling almost all of it after discovering it really isn't practical for me and my style. I'm sure they will still be around though, whenever you might be ready to make a purchase if it does turn out to be right for you!
Love this video! I would probably buy the 509 dollar jeans, because I’m tall like you and I live in them. As a side note, and to counter some of your thoughts, Have you read “die with zero”? It’s a total opposite argument of the fire movement. It’s helped my cheap self to live a little more “yolo”.
You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough. The $500 jeans would only be worth it to me if I could "beat them up" 10 times harder and longer than the $50 jeans. I often find that I can find high quality at lower prices, especially in jeans. My favorite pair of jeans are some I picked up from a thrift store for $5, and they only get worn when I am not planning on doing activities that would wear them out faster. They fit me the best of any of my jeans and show off my attributes in a way I like. I have very durable jeans I have bought from Costco and they have seen lots of wear and use. I buy very much for quality and treat all of my clothes, even working wear, with a degree of care. Many clothes I have were hand me downs or free, but they get taken care of and mended if need be.
Yes! I am also of the approach of mending and taking care of things to the best of my ability. Reading your comment makes it even more abundantly clear that it's really not the quality I think I'm buying with jeans at this price point, but rather the style and ideally, the fit. Of course if they are terrible quality in real life, I wouldn't entertain the idea of keeping them, but that's not the aspect I'm seeking when I contemplate this particular pair of jeans, and I would also not intend to wear them in circumstances that they'd get beat up in, like you said about your favorite pair of jeans. I also have Costco clothing (jeans might be a bit tricky, I haven't looked for long inseams there) that's frequently used and obviously much better value for money, since they certainly don't cost nearly that much. I also have a $5 thrifted pair of jeans (my skinny jeans!) which for how often I want to wear skinny jeans, was probably the "best-price-scenario" - I don't reach for them much but I do occasionally want that look.
I haven’t finished watching yet (55 min! not that I’m complaining) but it seems to be a controversial one. I do understand where the comments are coming from, they bring up fair points for discussion, but also, it sounds like you’ve made a carefully considered purchase, this falls in the exceptions you’ve defined at the beginning of your no-buy, and what value each item brings is individual to everyone. On my purchase list is a drill, for example -it is by all means a “practical” purchase, it’s certainly not a must have for my lifestyle (this is for hobbies and handy to have once in a while), and it will still have less uses per year than your jeans!
Haha I'm definitely not going to be in the habit of these long videos, but wow there were a lot of points that came up in this reflection. Haven't made the purchase yet but if I'm totally honest it probably will happen, unless any more significant breakthroughs/realizations come along before the holiday gifts are all taken care of! It's really that question of "what value an item brings" that I'm so interested in getting to the bottom of...I know by now that pretty much anything can be justified in the moment, and this is what leads to the overconsumerism we see on social media. That I especially want to avoid. So regardless of whether I get these jeans, I will be continuing this mission to discover some more possibly "universal" ideas of how to know what's "reasonable consumerism" for each person - or maybe just to confirm that such an idea is impossible to apply, it can never be "universal" because of different lived experiences and priorities, but maybe there are some things we can consider in our own ways as to what's worth justifying and what's worth doing the different kind of work, to let go of instead of acquiring.
Even wait list hand loomed japanese selvedge jeans aren't $500. I have a closet with a lot of "designer" jeans--veronica beard, Frame. The VB ones I bought 8 of because they were a mid-heavy weight and they used my clone as the fit model, so on 50% sale they were worth the price. The Frame jeans are equivalent to Ross jeans. Getting denim tailor made with a fancy heavyweight 18oz denim would run you ~$300.
I think partly it's worth the extra $200 from the "tailor-made price" to be able to return if they aren't perfect, and also not to have to track down a tailor in my area and anything else associated with asking for a tailor-made pair (choosing material and notions?). I once had Frame and Veronica Beard jeans on my radar (never owned any), but it's one of those things where I have a hard time paying over $200 for "normal-looking" styles of jeans. If I can get a similar silhouette thrifted or cheaper, I'll probably do that. I also don't need so many pairs of jeans as a general rule, which I know these days (I know it's subjective for each person, I have other options like trousers and skirts too) - but if I took the average cost of all of my jeans, I have 4 pairs in the $120 range, two pairs thrifted for $10 or less, and then I'm thinking of adding this $500 pair. I guess that averages out to $142.85 per pair of jeans in my wardrobe, and I don't plan on acquiring any more as far as the number of options. Not that that answers any questions, but it was an interesting thought exercise 😅
I'm just glad I am not (and never really was) into buying so many bags and shoes despite the rise of influencers online. 😂 but I did feel I was overbuying trousers and jeans. Although majority of them are thrifted, I think I went overboard. 10 years ago I only had 10 pairs of bottoms. Now, I don't even wanna count them. 😂 maybe because 10 years ago I never really cared about fashion, and I saw clothing only as functional pieces or uniforms. I hated the idea of vanity and I never thought of putting effort in my appearance as my nerd ass thought that I'd be working in the lab my whole life. 😂 But work will always require you to be presentable. I do relate with having to look for advice here in UA-cam. Maybe it's the reason why I have different cuts of pants. It's to complement the shoes and tops that I have. I wanted to get it right, I wanted proportions and colors to be perfect. This perfectionism led me to having so many clothes now. It's like having a checklist or a to-do list -- once I ticked the box I feel satisfied, even if I know for a fact that I do not actually need the item as a functional piece, since I already have many alternatives. I just wanted that particular cut or silhouette it will give. I am not familiar with the jeans you were talking about but have you tried looking for a similar style of jeans from other brands? Or can it be thrifted?
I'm super interested in this, because I wonder if there is any way that we can "look for fashion advice" without being influenced into trying a bunch of "new things", new styles, becoming "interested in fashion" when we maybe didn't used to be, buying one thing and then feeling like we need another to complement it...I have fallen into this trap many many times especially with colors, and "testing out" new "signature colors". And then color analysis became popular and both confirmed AND denied some of my favorite colors, which honestly I think might have been more harmful than helpful in terms of me being influenced to buy stuff. Now I'm kind of back where I was originally with my "favorites" but having bought and resold a whole bunch of stuff. I have been on the lookout for thrifted versions, there are similar styles out there but none that seem like they'd be long enough for me, and I've learned that I absolutely can't tolerate the "cropped" look unless it's very intentional. We'll see what I end up doing in the end, to be continued 😅
I would never spend $500 on pants just because I change, fashion changes, my weight changes... I have trousers that I thought I would wear for many years and are now a little tight... I haven't gained a lot of weight but I feel like my body is changing... so you never know... I would hate to make such a big purchase (for me) and change my mind next year for any of the reasons above.
Same, actually, with pants that I purchased pretty recently also becoming tight a lot sooner than I thought. I'm going to talk about that soon actually. It's kind of a double-edged problem because now I may actually want to buy some larger pants to replace the tight ones, and these are the ones I really want. BUT as you said, the danger is that what if the same happens, and these ones are much more expensive!
I once bought a pair of jeans for 90 dollars. The next day I was going to leave the city and wanted to get them returned before I leave but the shop was closed and I started sobbing because I wouldn't be able to return them 😅
The fact that you have coveted the Tibi jeans for such a lengthy period of time, and you are not completely put off by the price, makes me want to tell you you to buy them (if you literally want nothing else for Christmas). If you truly believe they will serve you for many years to come, then their cost-per-wear really won’t be massive, in the end. I am an artist, so I don’t hesitate spending $500 on a small watercolour palette, whereas others would recoil in horror at the mere thought of it (when you can buy an ‘ok’ one for $50). I guess, at the end of the day, the real value of something is fairly subjective, and whilst I probably wouldn’t spend $500 on a pair of jeans, I wouldn’t rule it out, either. In saying all this, I am incredibly frugal, and can buy certain expensive items on occasion, because I am smart with my money. If you do end up buying the jeans, wear them, love them and do so without guilt. All my love from Australia xx
I was just thinking again about "cost per wear" and also how part of that metric for me is actually "joy per wear", which to me is probably worth an extra dollar or two per wear - there are a few pieces in my wardrobe that every time I wear them I DO still feel the spark, even though they're years old - but I hesitate to discuss this on a channel dedicated to trying to detach from things in this way. Similarly I also own an expensive instrument that most people wouldn't see the value in paying so much for, although because it's my "job" it could be understandable from that perspective. In a realistic way for me, what it comes down to most, perhaps, is whether this is what I actually want for Christmas - rather than an assortment of cheaper things, which is what's tended to happen in the past...and part of me actually does feel that it would be better in some ways to focus on just one thing, rather than buying more "stuff" that costs less. We'll see! Thank you so much for sharing - speaking of Australia and Christmas, I recently made a pavlova to use up some egg whites, brought back memories of my time in NZ 🥝
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Joy per wear has inflated value to me, as well. The pieces that still spark joy after many wears/years are the truly valuable ones. I remember listening to a podcast about minimalism and the discussion was the upside of materialism. The argument was that true materialism meant that you loved, valued and respected the items you owned, and therefore bought minimal amounts and kept them for years (or possibly your entire life). This may apply to your Tibi jeans? Apparently it’s the detachment from material goods that makes things disposable and easy to forget about. I’m not articulating it well, but I find the concept interesting. Oh, I love that you made a pavlova! My Mum makes one for Christmas lunch, every year. We eat it with whipped cream and loads of raspberries on top (whilst drinking too much sparkling wine and getting really hot in the sun). Very different to a traditional American Christmas 😆
One narrative that really needs to be dumped is, you have to pay more for quality/buy cheap, buy twice/ if it’s free, it’s probably worth what you paid for it. For one thing, there are lots of expensive designer pieces that are utter tat. For another, there are some cheap pieces that are good quality. This is of course particularly true of second hand, but even retail. I bought a cheap men’s cotton jumper retail for myself - £8 - over a decade ago, and it’s still looking fantastic. Plus two Ralph Lauren cotton sweaters I got for £4 each that are excellent quality and are lasting well. Yes, buy good quality, but that doesn’t necessarily mean paying more. And paying more doesn’t guarantee high quality.
I 100% agree with this! It's one of those things where I know the facts (and also have thrifted two Ralph Lauren cotten sweaters! and jeans too), but the narrative is still floating around as a "justifier" if that makes sense. So on the odd occasion where I "want to buy something that's probably too expensive" it comes up in my mind as something I've been "told" a thousand times. I'm not going to "fall for" a bad quality expensive purchase though, and when I can, I'll look for things secondhand first, even if it's "new" (currently in production) - although that can backfire if it turns out to be expensive, unexpectedly poor quality, and secondhand i.e. not returnable. It does also seem to often be the case that cheap men's clothing holds up better than cheap women's clothes - I think there's still the sexist narratives out there that more women WILL pay more in search of quality, so companies know they can produce multiple price points and quality levels, to upsell women, which is actually kind of infuriating to think about.
@ yes! When I bought my £8 men’s jumper, there was an almost identical one on the women’s side of the shop - for £16. They charge us more because they think they can get away with it. And to some extent, they can.
Maybe, just maybe that is what Christmas ( and Birthdays) are for? We can finally and without too much shame or loss of will power get what we have really wanted!
Put an hourly rate on your time based on how much you earn from working. You have spent more than $500 thinking about the jeans. It’s ok to allot yourself some fun money in a year and to budget it how you want-on a great pair of jeans or coat or whatever. Even save the budget from year to year and holidays and birthdays, etc. And then spend it responsibly on something you will likely use/enjoy, but which doesn’t have to be justified with a cost/wear or some other metric other than enjoyment. Also, basics should be your best things. So if those jeans sing, buy them and enjoy wearing them all the time. I think you should devote time to actually seeing if they suit you or not. This could all be a moot point if they aren’t right. Or, you could try them and love them even more than you thought. What you are doing with all the theorizing feels like app dating with too many messages back and forth. “Meet” those jeans ASAP so you can be more realistic in your desires. Your channel is fab. I love the commentary and wish we could be friends irl. If we were, I’d tell you to stop overthinking this particular issue. 😉 I would have similar advice were you still in dating days.
Oh the hourly rate is tricky for me, I've worked at rates anywhere from $9/hour to $100/hour in my adult life (and I guess even less/hour if UA-cam income counts!) so it's hard to know "which rate" is the most relevant for me when thinking about the time! I will absolutely be doing a budget for "fun spending" next year, and that will probably be a big feature on this channel. I made the mistake of thinking I could successfully "no buy" this year, and therefore did not set a budget to track and lacked that extremely important parameter! Will probably be "meeting" the jeans soon though... thankfully I sneaked into the last of the "not-online-dating" group, I think I'd probably struggle with wasting time meeting too many people if I was able to connect online - then again I'd probably develop some kind of screening process for who to actually meet if I was dealing with that kind of dating medium 👀 would help to have friends like you to help navigate that though!
I think no matter how rich/poor we are at any given point, we are still capable of "wanting," and sometimes expensive things still might come across our radar - but I do understand if you'd rather not be subjected to this kind of discussion
I think that people who get mad about someone else buying a pair of $500 jeans are motivated by envy. Everything is relative. Some people pay thousands on vacations, on their 1 years olds birthday party, on a speed boat, the latest iPhone, or on a special day out. It's up to you what you consider valuable to you. I really get irritated that people want to throw shame on you for that. I have an expensive pair of jeans - actually a similar shape to the Tibi ones and they are my most worn. I adore them, I feel great when I wear them, they are extremely versatile and have become an integral part of my signature look. As far as I'm concerned, that's my hard earned money well spent and I have no desire for another pair. Why should you have to justify your decision to receive a gift of an expensive pair of jeans? Let's drop the condemnation please.
This is an interesting take, that I appreciate! And totally agree about how everyone's got their own "things" they're willing to prioritize or spend more money on. There is an element of "this(fashion) is what I like" in why I think it's okay to buy expensive clothes sometimes, for sure, but part of me also wonders how much of that is just a narrative I picked up from marketing, influencers, and our general consumer environment vs. what is actually inherent to my interests, what would I think if I'd had less influence? Would I still be as into "fashion" - and if so, would it look different and involve less "wanting and buying" stuff, less shopping? My next video is going to be a chat about this actually 😄 But I do also think that some people out there legitimately don't spend a lot on "non-essentials" - and while I am clearly not one of those people right now, I am also curious about if it's possible (and/or desirable) to become more like that, and what that would look like too! I probably will end up getting these pants, spoiler alert, but, I will also continue exploring the other sides of it!
Hi Alexa, when you talk, so often add some "explanatory" or additionnal text comment on the screen. Can I ask that you leave the "explanatory" text blups in the screen a bit longer? I often have to stop the video or return to read the text (maybe I'm just slow or just focusing on what you're saying and then have to read and listen at the same time, I don't know, but I'm might be something you can consider. Thank you!
I'll try! I also want to get to the point of not having so many text inserts - I've also had requests to upload audio as a podcast, and that's not going to be possible until I manage to escape the clarifications 😆 But noted, and thank you!
OMGoodness and the experiences is more valuable than stuff theory… yet another selling point and oh yes… just let me bore you with our travel plans and won’t it be wonderful for us 😕🤣
Yes I've seen WAY too many "pack with me for this trip," "a week in a suitcase", "carry-on only vacation," "travel essentials you NEED" videos...it can be so unrealistic for most people who have to juggle vacation time from work, possibly partners' and kids schedules, as well as just having the budget to go on trips multiple times a year. Not to mention the dreaded sponsored segments from the suitcase company, or some travel-friendly cosmetics, AG1, or whatever else 🥲
I do think people use their interest in makeup and fashion to justify buying obscene amount of things. If you are interested in makeup I think applying makeup is the thing that interest you not buying it. Same for fashion. I would think interest in fashion would mean you study fashion, follow it, and maybe learn to appreciate clothes.
That's an interesting train of thought! I'm definitely not interested enough in makeup to spend time applying it "for fun", and not buying makeup this year has actually proven to be pretty easy. I don't think I'm interested enough to study fashion, at least not over my current career/study of music...but, I don't know if that's a case of having more than one interest and just choosing the top priority, or if I'm really not that interested in fashion. Something for me to think about. I have found that my slight preference right now is to not actively seek out or dwell on the developments I see in fashion, new trends, runway looks, etc, because I'd rather not look at all the "stuff" and be tempted to add a new "look" to my own wardrobe...because I feel like I'd want to engage in that way if I did. Edited to add - I definitely do that with music, if I hear a song I like, I really want to play it (and usually do), even if it's not originally for my instrument or genre.
I thought it started in early 2024. The oldest videos on this channel are from Jan 2024, so we both got it wrong. On the other hand, she bought some things that were supposed to be part of the no buy. I hope she sticks to some kind of low buy and doesn't go to opposite extreme (insert cash gun clip here) (if you understand German: also insert Deichkind - Drucker)
You might be thinking of Gemma Maclean, if you watch her videos? She started a no buy in October last year, I think and recently posted a video about her no buy being complete!
I 100% intend to continue "project no buy/low buy" because what this current experience is teaching me, is that one year of trying this is not enough to change my habits and mindset as much as I want to! I initially had "no buy exceptions" for holidays, as in, gifts - but I didn't specify rules for how many gifts or how much $, so next year I'll have to have all of that figured out a bit better (maybe based on what happens this year).
You will always walk around in these jeans knowing you paid 400+ which will probably bring guilt and not true joy. When we get a great deal, that’s when we feel great about our purchase.
Ooh that's an interesting take. I do have other "expensive" pieces (not a good deal) that have brought real joy and continued appreciation, as well as pieces I thrifted for a "deal" that tend to be more utilitarian, but I'm definitely not mad about getting a deal. I'll keep thinking about this!
take out pair of jeans from wardrobe.... idolise them into being twice as good as the 500 credits.... money is time and treasuring what we have is time well spent xx (I have)
Ooh - I wonder if I can do this! One of my videos this week is the "if I could only keep one" in my current wardrobe categories, which is kind of trying to appreciate what I have. I'll think about doing this more specifically with the jeans - when I filmed that I was still in the mindset of "the ones I want would be the 'ones'"
I have no idea! I saw multiple pairs of bottega veneta jeans pop up in the $6,800-$7,000 price range, so there may be different styles and materials that they make - I'll consider it a good sign that I'm not up with the trends enough anymore to know about leather jeans 😅
I have a lot of thoughts, to the point of not being to spell them out in my nowhere-near-native English. So I’ll tackle the most simple and the least deep one: I’m not bothered by the price tag, but I am scandalized by your take that these are practical everyday jeans. I mean, come on, Alexa! Where your Brancusi have a reasonable, manageable amount of excess fabric, Sids are over-the-top, they’re like made for four decent-sized legs, that’s not your “basics”, not your heavy-duty piece. Sure, you may enjoy this silhouette, and they may be comfortable enough to wear for a day, easy to style, but that’s not “everyday”, they’re too ridiculous for that, not visually but in terms of construction. And these snaps for adjusting, they say it’s a customer request (read: originally the pants sweep the floor) and they don’t show them in action, so I wonder how do these change the whole look. Anyway, as for me, it’s perfectly fine if you want them and get them, but them being “if I could only keep one”? Our strong desires are neither purely rational nor they need to be this way. There are so many crazy but still perfectly okay reasons to want something, but I’m wowed by your stressing the practicality where there clearly is none. (I own a pair of crazy wideleg jeans, and while I sometimes get in the mood of wearing them for days in a row, I eventually get tired of this stupid amount of denim dangling around my legs, so that’s where I’m coming from ))
I guess my question about this is, what if I was someone who dressed in a somewhat ridiculous way everyday, would they then be everyday jeans? Not saying I currently do that, but I actually did used to dress more outlandishly, and wouldn't be opposed to, or I should say, kind of WANT to be more "dramatic" with what I generally wear, hence these being my imagined "ideal everyday jeans". I've also been looking at Japanese "tobi" pants, which are super excessive in fabric too, and I might eventually replace some of my sweatpants with a wide leg pair. A few of my pants have been getting too tight, is what sparked the other searches - not planning to go forward or spend more time on any of the other ideas until after no-buy, but these jeans might be a Christmas present which is why they're being subjected to the increased scrutiny of why I want them/if they're a reasonable gift. I also highly doubt they'll sweep the floor on me as usually I have the opposite problem with pants, but it is one of the contingencies for keeping if I end up ordering - the fit would have to be absolutely perfect, or they'll be sent back. I had a pair of more standard wide-leg jeans a few years ago and they were nowhere near wide enough for me! I was disappointed that they looked very "standard" and normal. This might also be adding to my feeling that while they might look ridiculous on a "normal person", I feel like they won't on me or for my tastes. I'm getting tired of the feeling of tighter/normal amounts of denim around my lower half, in other words 😆 I could be wrong about all of this! And I appreciate your comment making me think about this more.
@ Oh no, I didn’t mean looking ridiculous, nothing about the look! Just the feel of it. I doubt it can be comfortable to have so much denim hanging down from the hips (sweatpants is a different story). But of course I could be wrong too, I may be completely idiosyncratic with this and they’d be cozy for you. And you’re most likely right about the length: for example, the aforementioned wideleg jeans are like slightly cropped on my (same as your height) self, not touching my feet, and I’m pretty sure they’re full length
You are struggling so hard to defend you buying expensive things. Why don't could simply say: It is okay that I buy expensive things, because I can afford it. Even if it is just a piece of cotton.
I could do that, and it would be simpler! But that's just not in my nature 😆 My brain always wants to know "why?" Why do I want these in the first place? Why do I think it's okay even though they're expensive? How can I ensure that this doesn't mean I'm going back towards being "obsessed" with material things? Can I actually afford it, if my savings aren't as high as they should be? And all the questions...
Not trying to be overly critical, but considering Levis to be average and 50 dollar sounds really out of touch. Maybe it’s just the US (not sure, I’m European) but Levis are already nice jeans here. Not overly fancy, but not average lower price jeans. I really appreciate what you said in theory, I basically agree with every point. But this consumerism is so incredibly American, I’ve never heard someone even considering 500$ jeans in France.
Levi’s have cut so many corners in their quality and materials, as well as production processes over the years that they definitely no longer hold a reputation for being nice quality. And their fits are atrocious for anyone curvy- even when I’ve tried tailoring them they look off. The feelings of self-consciousness, discomfort, and knowing that someone else’s labor is being exploited and undervalued by buying Levis to me are not worth their lower price tag.
@ I don’t really own Levis so I wasn’t commenting on the quality (very interesting to know that it went downhill), I was more commenting on how much money for a pair of jeans is average here.
I agree! I thought I put some text in-video to clarify (maybe I forgot, or maybe people just listening wouldn't see that!) that I have not purchased new levis recently (not sure if I ever have for myself, actually) and because I thrifted mine for $5-10 I didn't realize they were $98USD right now. So yes, I was out of touch! Not sure if you know this either already, but I used to live in New Zealand, where Levis were pretty much a "designer brand" for jeans and cost over $150NZD new. They also typically wouldn't be at the op-shops/thrift stores. I wasn't thinking about this when I made this video but I do know kind of the mentality you're coming from! Having moved back to America and lived here for most of my life overall, I guess I can't help but "be American" again, through just existing in this environment - even as someone trying to change their consumer habits. Your comment is a helpful reminder to actually remember how things did feel different in NZ, which might actually help me reshape my approach in a more "natural" way. EDITED TO ADD: according to a search for "average price of jeans in 2024" I get results from a few journals saying the average is anywhere from $157-174 USD, and a number of Reddit threads do say they buy levis for $40-80 new but on sale. I haven't had a chance to get deep into the locations/data of this as a whole, I'm sure it's wildly skewed and I don't add this as to be a "logical argument," but just a kind of explanation for where I got this American mentality - it appears that it isn't just me!
@ Oh this was such interesting insight, I’m a fairly new viewer so I had no idea you had lived in NZ. Sorry if there was edited text, I listened to this as a podcast ^^’ The edit is also so interesting and so wild to me, I guess I was also very out of touch with the average American, oops. I don’t have the same stat for France, but in 2017 people said that a « normal price » for jeans was 50€.
I keep,thinking - you have a baby and two toddlers! Putting one foot in front of another is a win. Yes, yes, at this time, for spending to “ get things done,” and researching for the best, best option is not worth the time away from your kids, even if it’s just mental energy.
You know, on some level this may end up being the mentality of getting the pants as my "big Christmas gift" this year, it gets THAT done at least😆 But I do feel like I'm learning by reflecting on the thoughts and feelings that it stirs up! And the wonderful thing about doing it in video format like this, is for the most part I DON'T end up ruminating on it over the course of the day - I save it to thrash out on "recording day"!
@CAGChannel1 I am extremely lucky in that I live with my in-laws - multigenerational childcare! Most of my YT stuff is done after bedtime, and my inlaws watch the kids when I go to my actual job part time.
I don't understand. Were those jeans on your "allowed to buy" list from the beginning? If not, what is the point of doing a no buy year? It's not an impulse buy which could happen. You are clearly planning to buy this pair of jeans and trying to justify this purchase. I mean, if buying them was in your rules for this year, that is fine and you don't need to explain yourself. If not, then I am really surprised and a little disappointed. Also, listening you talking, for an hour, about buying jeans ( during your no buy year ) feels strange...
One of the advices to avoid impulse buys is to wait some time and keep a wish list. So far she only talked about it, but the wish didn't completely go away so far, so it wouldn't be a real impulse buy any more. For my taste, 500$ is a bit excessive for a pair of Jeans but I can relate to permanently overthinking wishes and pushing them up and down the list. But there's a reason to keep some items on the wish list, maybe forever: There's a poem of Wilhelm Busch about wishes that ends with the message that wishes get children as soon as they are fulfilled.
Yes I 100% agree with how it's strange to talk about for an hour during a no buy year! That's why I left my pinned comment about how this video might make people mad 😅 The overall purpose of this video is not for me to justify the purchase, although that is kind of the "script" - but to open the window into my mind of all the ways of "justifying" that I've picked up (mainly through consuming content), or, the consumer narratives in society that push us to justify the things we want. Now I'm able to observe these things happening in my mind rather than just more subconsciously wanting and buying things. It doesn't really answer the question of "will I buy this", and in some ways feels like "a step back" in progress, but on the other hand the awareness is massively different than it was for me in years past where I might have just bought the jeans without telling ANYONE, and not acknowledged the price at all (beyond in my own financial picture, obviously). I did "allow" holiday gifts during my no buy year. However I did not specify how many items or how much money was okay to spend on Christmas/birthday gifts. And now I'm running into a bit of difficulty managing the "things I might want" and "what is reasonable for Christmas/birthday gifting".
Thank you for being so REAL and HONEST and VULNERABLE!!! Exactly the kind of No Buy / Conscious consumption / finance content I've been looking for. My weaknesses are clothes and jigsaw puzzles 🧩
Ooh puzzles are great fun. Clothes are definitely my #1 weakness and I am continuing to dive deep with the questions that come next, for example "why do I want clothing?" "what do I actually think I'm buying?" "why do influencers seem to care so much about showing us the trends?" (not just to sell their audiences stuff, which is part of it, but it seems to be part of "loving fashion!") and a few more, to be explored in some later videos.
WARNING: This video might make you mad, and the first part of this video is basically about the reasons I want to buy something, during this no buy year. If you'd prefer to skip that, things kind of turn around after 30 minutes, and at the end I openly acknowledge the hypocrisy here. This journey of changing consumer habits and perceptions is a long and messy one, and confronted with the prospect of "gifts" for myself and others (a no-buy exception from the beginning of the year "rules") - many of the same "shopping" issues rear their ugly heads. I'm not pretending to be perfect or an expert or even particularly knowledgeable, on this channel, I'm just sharing an honest account of this process and the thoughts that come up.
Because this is a long video I also feel compelled to add, that I'm really not ruminating about wanting things "in real life", despite how it may appear on this channel dedicated to thinking about wanting and not buying material items.
It IS vastly different at this stage, than it was in the years previous to my no buy. I know you can't really see the full extent of this since I wasn't publicly posting during my "shopping heyday." But even looking at my first "things I wanted to buy but didn't" videos, things have changed massively, the no buy challenge has not been futile. ALL of the things I "want" for Christmas are actually from the March/April wishlists (not everything on the lists, but a small handful of things have remained in my mind if I think about what I "want"), which is interesting - I somehow haven't encountered anything "new" to want? But I still want things that I wanted back in the days where I wanted more stuff? 🤔
I also know that I can walk away without purchasing these pants or the other items on my list. But I am not sure that I "want" to forego the upcoming gift-giving occasions for the sake of the "public no buy year", and in my entrenched narratives of Christmas being a time for "getting some things you want but don't need", my default instinct is to choose some of the things that I think would bring enjoyment to my life/wardrobe/etc.
I'm not against changing the way I approach Christmas and birthdays long-term and working to remove the "gifting reflex", but as this is my first "no-buy Christmas" I didn't come equipped with the plan to change right now. If you have any stories or suggestions about how you changed your perceptions on gifts, I'd love to hear them - there will also be another video dedicated to this idea coming up, so you can share there as well or instead.
Thank you, fellow travelers. 💙
i think it's an important skill to have an item you truly desire and may be perfect for you and... not buy it or acquire it. Not ever. Sometimes we need to learn to appreciate beautiful and even personally utilitarian items without acquiring them.
I agree with this!
I just don't know if I'm at the point of being able to actually do it, and/or, maybe I just don't WANT to be there right now, being totally honest.
It's like the whole "holiday gift" justification, I also know I don't HAVE to get an expensive Christmas gift, that's just been what I've done before. I know I have to learn these lessons eventually, and something in me does genuinely want to change this, not feel the need to get a big gift, or acquire the things I want.
It's not that I haven't learned anything at all - I have wanted so much less since starting this challenge, I do see many things radically differently, even the fact that I'm openly discussing wanting expensive jeans rather than just going and buying them for my gift, and telling about it later, which is how I used to go about this stuff...
There are no jeans worth $500. There's just not. You could get custom tailored jeans just for you, that wouldn't cost that much. This sounds like branding and marketing
Ooh, I wonder what the price difference would be if I tried to get a tailor to make this exact pair of jeans, that's an interesting question!
When I think of it that way, I guess the price also includes several conveniences:
1. Being able to order them ready-made without finding a reputable tailor
2. The ability to return if they're not right (which I have to assume wouldn't be possible for a tailor-made garment) and,
3. Not that I'm planning to resell, the ability to more easily pass them on if I were ever to outgrow them or something.
I wouldn't consider myself a particular fan of this brand, but, (influencer/social media) marketing HAS delivered these specific pants to my eyeballs, so there is that for sure!
At the end of the day I can agree that there are no jeans worth $500, no handbags worth $1,000+, no cars worth $100k+, no insert-anything-here worth $ (whatever price is above someone's threshold) - but at the end of the day many people still buy things at ridiculous prices. It's the question of WHY, that I'm still interested in getting to the bottom of. Probably also, most people wouldn't buy a viola that costs as much as mine, but I'd guess that people don't have as much issue with that because it's my job - who knows, though? It's just interesting to think about and I appreciate your thoughts, too!
I disagree. What something is worth is completely relative and what seems expensive for one person may not be for another especially when it’s an item you really love and wear all the time. I would pay $500 if they were my absolute favourite jeans and I couldn’t get them anywhere else (assuming of course they’re of lasting quality as I’d expect at least 5 years of wear)
There's another commenter lower in the comments that brings up an interesting point: people used to pay the equivalent of $500 for a nice everyday item of clothing. I'm assuming Tibi isn't investing in the supply chain to the degree that older companies used to, but it's interesting to consider whether we really should be astounded by a $500 or even a $200 pair of jeans.
@Alexas.nobuyyear If you get a pair of jeans custom made, you may be able to choose a more durable fibre, like hemp. I have seen hemp denim fabric available for sale online.
@@DanielleFerreira-uk9yt Yes, till the 80s people of the working class invested in clothing. Those were: winter coats, trenchcoats, fur coats, handmade shoes, winter boots, a ball dress or a bridal dress, a business suit. Not jeans. Jeans were a working outfit and were there to be used up. A fur coat would be in the family for generations.
Humans beings are fully capable of holding beliefs that contradict one another. That's life.
For sure! Seems like it's now a decision of "which side of the beliefs" I actually take action on
@@Alexas.nobuyyear It appears to be a dilemma: On the one hand you decided not to buy any new clothes. On the other hand you hoped that not buying any new clothes would help you define your personal style. Now along comes an item of clothing that apparently epitomizes the style to which you deep down aspire. Not buying the jeans aligns with your first decision, but it hampers your second goal: it holds you back from attaining that personal style. Allow yourself to get the jeans for Christmas or your birthday and start the new year on the right foot: knowing that you have been able to pinpoint exactly what it is that you expect from your clothes. Then stick to that: Only look for and buy what you know is 100% right for you (irrespective of the price tag within your means and limits). That is personal style.
I love the points you called out regarding the narratives that promote consumerism. I’m guilty of buying into quite a few of them. They’re catchphrases I’ve heard all over the place on SM so it was interesting to see so many of them called out here. I recently took out my Halloween decor and realized I have had the same decor for 12 years. And you know what - I love it. Every year I am excited to take it out! I rarely add to it. Why don’t I look at my closet the same way?
I’m on a similar (slightly different approach) journey to you and I have indulged in the “quality over quantity” items that sat on my wishlist for months and months - for me it was an $800 jacket. I wanted to share what happened after the purchase. I think the issue for me personally is that I ended up idolizing the item for so long. I really tricked myself into believing that it wasn’t because of trend or influence, but because I really wanted it (spoiler alert, I was wrong). None of this was good for my mental health. I would go months and months wanting an item, waiting, watching, imagining, hoping it went on sale, wondering if I should ask for it as a gift, etc. When I finally got it, it solved nothing. Not only did it fall flat, because it couldn’t live up to the mental image I had of the item and myself with it, but it wasn’t long after that something else slipped into that #1 role. There will always another “thing” that would slip into that role of being my most idolized, most wanted item. After that happened I knew I had to make drastic changes to how I shop for fashion items. FWIW, I ended up reselling the jacket, and I don’t regret reselling it at all. I’m not telling you to not buy the jeans - they might be perfect for you! I just wanted to share what happened to me from a similar type of well thought out expensive purchase.
Thank you so much! I have a few of those same stories, as well as a few more where the "expensive thing DID work out" like I shared in this video. How did you make drastic changes to how you shop for fashion items? Would love to hear any of your experience in that goal too!
The thing that's also super interesting to me is that I do still feel the "want" for some of the items on my wishlists, but these wishlists were from back in March/April. I haven't actually felt that for anything I've seen since - part of it might be less exposure to "things", but I am also curious as to what will happen when I either get or don't get the "things I want" - what will slip in to be the "next thing"? Is it possible for that NOT to happen? Are these old wishlist-items serving as placeholders, (even without the actual wishlist), barring new items from the "pedestal of desire"? Or is some of the reflection I'm doing this year working to ward off "new desires"? Or both? Is there ever truly a way to know if something is "right" or "wrong" before we buy and have it? Is the safest thing to do always to NOT buy? 😅
@alexas.nobuyyear you’re asking the important questions!! Honestly, I didn’t ask those questions until after the big purchase. I think that the answers depend on each person, their experiences, maturity, willingness to learn, etc. I think it’s perfectly possible for someone to buy something they’ve been wanting for a long time and then not stick something new into that pedestal spot. I guess I wasn’t ready to not let that happen for myself 😅
The changes I made are still in progress. I don’t look at instagram fashion posts anymore- at least for now. I’m also not indulging in any content on UA-cam that I find tempts me to shop. I keep a pen and paper near my closet and when I get dressed if I’m looking for something I don’t have, I write it down. “Cable knit jacket sweater, dark brown loafers, etc”. I use that list when I’m out with a friend shopping. I’m also not shopping online, which I personally find difficult to control impulses and in person is so much easier to control. And lastly I have more heavily invested my time into my other hobbies to drown out my fashion hobby a bit. I read, knit, hike, and like studying and listening to classical music (not a musician just an enthusiast!) and making more intention to spend time with those hobbies helped me to place less emphasis on fashion as a hobby. I don’t personally feel like I can spend so much time on fashion as a hobby without it becoming a temptation for now.
And to answer your last question I don’t think there’s a way to know if something is going to be “right”! That’s why return policies are super important to me 😂😂😂
I didn’t get mad at all at this video. I actually loved the deep reflection. Do I think any jeans are worth 500 dollars? No. Do I think they will last that much longer than, for example, Zara jeans? No (heck, I own some Zara jeans from the men’s section - which are usually better quality - that look almost brand new, even if I’ve worn them to death for around two years now). With that being said, I’ve spent my fair share of money on VERY expensive purchases that, at the time, I thought would make me happy. They didn’t and I sold them all, but I didn’t invest a tenth of the thought and reflection on them that you’re doing now about these jeans. If you do decide to purchase them, it will definitely not be just thoughtless purchase. I don’t think it’s silly.
Loved the video!
Yes, why is the men's section usually where the more durable clothing is? I too have some men's jeans, that will probably last years!
I figure some people who are here to be inspired in the realms of "no buy" might find this kind of content fixating on "stuff" a bit maddening, (some previous comments have suggested as such!) But ultimately it's probably pretty clear by now that this channel isn't a successful representation of a "no buy year"... but is hopefully a success in making progress on the path towards conscious consuming.
Next year's iteration will have some much more objective frameworks (like a predetermined budget, for a start, which was also supposed to be a part of this year but went out the window with the plan of "just not buying anything" and therefore not needing a budget for the things I theoretically wouldn't buy 😆)
My mom is a seamstress which has luckily allowed me to learn a lot about different fabric types and quality. I definitely suggest everyone learns at least a little about fabrics because it makes purchasing certain items easier, in terms of knowing if the price is truly justified by the quality and the manner in which a certain item was made. You’d be surprised about how many designer/ high end clothing items are an absolute scam in terms of the price you’re paying for the quality or material!
Absolutely, I've even seen some videos on here about how designer goods are a total scam! So cool that your mom was able to pass that knowledge down to you.
Right... I spent $36 on a dress from Walmart that ended up being the same level of quality as something you'd buy for $10 on Temu. I have gotten so many better quality items in the $30-$50 price range so it really was mind boggling. It was hard enough to spend $36 on a single dress when I normally thrift. I found a much higher quality dress in a vintage shop for $20 a few weeks later.
For me, regardless of the price of a pair of jeans, there's an equal risk that I ruin the jeans with something (a stain that can't be removed), or I gain or lose weight or muscle and the pair doesn't fit anymore. Fashion changes, my aesthetic preferences change. Even a great quality jean will unravel if I get a pair with long/wide legs that will sometimes go under my shoes and touch the ground. This is why no pair of jeans would be worth 500 € for me, I'd just be too stressed about something happening. I'd especially hate the feeling of having to like and use something for 5 or 10 years just because of the price.
Sure! I understand all of these possible issues. I've even encountered this recently where a pair of my favorite pants are getting tight, and I'm having to put them away for a bit and will possibly end up having to let them go, and I know that the same thing could happen if I get these, more expensive pants. This design does have snaps to adjust the length of the back of the pants so at least they wouldn't get walked on😜
So another factor for "cost per wear" is also the "joy per wear", which isn't a metric I'm necessarily comfortable discussing on a channel about not buying or placing too much value on "things"...but I do have certain things that "feel" worth it when I wear them, and that is what's worth paying for, to me. Maybe I do need to mention that on video though and have some more dialogue about it...
I agree with you. As I have aged and went though hormonal changes I have changed shapes multiple times now..and had to totally replace everything.
I love your channel, your questions,and your philosophy to consumerism. It is very thoughtful,mature and necessary. At 70 years old I just wanted to let you know that the oldest shirt in my closet is 45 years old, and I still wear it,in fact many of the items of clothing in my closet are 20,30 40 years old and I wear them. So…you may be wearing those jeans until your 70’s.
Thank you - I actually DO approach wardrobe purchases with that in mind these days, and most of my "things" I CAN see myself wearing into older age. Sure, I might eventually not want to wear the tube tops or miniskirts (which were purchased before I adopted this longevity mentality), but who knows. I love to hear that this has proven to be true for someone out there!
And I also feel that this is a quiet rebellion to the popular messages of constantly trying to rehaul our whole images or looking for things to swap out/update, in the name of trends or consumerism.
I love how honest you are being in this video! I don’t want to try to influence you as far as purchasing the jeans- but I do think it will be interesting (for the scientist you, observing the lab rat you) to see how you feel about the jeans initially and over time if you do decide to buy them. And probably interesting to your viewers too, especially since you are so up front with your feelings. Oh and I‘m right with you in feeling ”corrupted “ and would also like to be free from outwardly imposed wants.
Thanks for another great video!
Thank you! I think it would be interesting both if I do and don't get the jeans, to observe what happens and how I feel! There will inevitably be some purchase I make at some point, that I'll be able to track the progress of - and you're right that I will be upfront with how I actually feel, even if it means admitting I was wrong about an expensive purchase like these pants would or will be. One of the major points of progress is that I am able to wait, I don't feel hurried into "needing" to buy anything, even if I do still feel corrupted into many ways of enabling my own purchasing through societal narratives about stuff.
It's a journey, you might overshoot but you certainly will recalibrate. Your recent videos exude a lot more confidence than when I first started watching your content. You're a lot more logical about why you're walking away from certain purchases and also why you're seriously considering others. Your reasonings are yours alone, what makes sense for me may not make sense for you and vice versa. Most of us are not going to live a no buy life, but hopefully we'll land on a low buy life in which we are purchasing mostly just what we need but also in an emotionally healthy way.
Thank you, and you've got some words of realistic wisdom here. What I am most curious about is where this continued journey will lead, and how next Christmas will look as I continue this kind of reflection, because that is the plan - it won't necessarily be another "no buy year" in the same way, but it will certainly be a low buy in terms of the parameters that I set for next year, and possibly focus more on building savings and budgeting more sensibly.
What's kind of throwing me off this year is that I set way too vague rules for "gift-giving occasions" as an exception, I didn't specify anything for Christmas besides that it would be an exception and now that the time is upon us, I have no "rules" to fall back on, just my own ideas of what being a "conscious consumer" actually looks like! And in some ways while buying an expensive thing is "not conscious" in some ways, it is conscious in others. So regardless of the actual outcome in this specific scenario, the learning will continue, and if I end up overshooting this Christmas in some way, I'll be much better prepared to re-calibrate for next time...and in fact this year will already be a re-calibration from last year in many ways, which was comparatively a bit excessive, even if I didn't personally receive anything as expensive as the jeans I'm contemplating.
I can’t relate to wanting $500 jeans, however I can apply all these same questions and thoughts to housing. I am a homebody and care a ton about design and aesthetically pleasing/high quality finishes. When I was younger and renting apartments, I actively chose to pay for more expensive “luxury apartments” with modern and more quality finishes, vs a standard apartment with linoleum and plasticky cheap finishes. And now as a homeowner who recently upgraded from a decent starter home to a brand new modern build, I often wonder the “just because I can, should I??” Ultimately I’m ok with the financial sacrifice because I can still afford it even if frivolous, and it’s worth it for my daily happiness living somewhere that makes me feel great. And I’m wearing my $40 American Eagle jeans I bought 10 years ago, in my fancy house 😂 Everyone has different motivations and priorities.
Definitely! I forget if I said it outright in this video (downside of these longer chats haha) but historically I skimped on things like rent and housing aesthetics, because I cared more about things like ridiculously expensive clothing 😆 so just like you said, everyone has their kryptonite even if might seem ridiculous to others!
I wish I could relate to this 😂 you're living the dream! So glad you were able to afford a house in this economy. I love that for you. When we eventually get an apartment of our own I am also going to prioritize making sure it looks and feels nice!
The thing about jeans (and shirts) is that you risk them getting stained, especially if you have little kids. They're also likely to go out of style or no longer fit at some point. Take it from an older mom, there are no jeans worth $500.
I believe you!
If you keep those jeans for ten years that's $50 per year in cost. I have items that I've had 20 years. If I paid that much it would be $25 per year to have the wear of of great quality item. But I usually do not pay that much.I have thrift jeans that are incredible value they are Calvin Klein hipsters from the 90s that I got a few years ago for $15. However we have become very accustomed to disposable clothes prices.
Cheap is NOT cheerful if it means you dispose of a poor quality item after a year or so or less. It's hideous how much we dispose of clothes that wear out but are actually poorly made and are not durable. I keep my things and rarely throw them out. Mending, altering, putting on new buttons etc all this is more sustainable. I have jeans I bought on sale for $65 and they're still going. I have redyed jeans and also when they get floppy I starch them. Then the body is back and they look great.
I don't usually pay that much either! A few of my other jeans are thrifted for $5-10, and for more "normal looking" pairs I would absolutely thrift or go cheaper.
I totally agree that cheap is not cheerful when it makes things that should last, disposable. I filmed a video (yet to be released) where I was talking about how it's a man-made problem - if we didn't create shoddily made crap, people wouldn't WANT and be able to buy, shoddily made crap. It's not a problem we faced in nature, when if we made clothes for ourselves it was in our best interests that it lasted and DIDN'T need constant mending. It just doesn't make sense anywhere but within this age of consumerism.
I'm about to re-dye some black pants! I also mend everything that can be mended, even my kids' "cheap" clothing is always mended rather than disposed of, even if it's frustrating to keep doing this with cheaper quality items. But especially if the alternative is replacing with another cheap thing, I'd rather do the mending - it's not just for preserving the life of a "nicer" garment in our house.
Girl ... No judgement if you buy the jeans because we are all a work in progress. But yeah, it's not okay to buy $500 jeans if you don't have 1 yr's worth of savings, haven't funded your retirement, haven't funded your life insurance, to benefit your kids, disability insurance, funded their education and paid down your mortgage, saved money for your next cash purchase of a vehicle, and random home repairs.
Anything else we tell ourselves is just rationalizations for giving in to our whims and consumer mentality vs investor mentality.
Can that money be used to help you pay for an aid when you retire?
How would you feel if you took that same $500 and bought stock?
Inexpensive jeans can last decades.
Debt for non emergencies is not ok.
I'm here struggling with you! Today I talked myself down from buying ballet slippers (because I am not a professional dancer and can do the exercises in socks). Meanwhile I am kinda hoping one of my $30 pants are worn out enough to buy a pair of black pants. The truth is I don't do physical labor so my pants will probably last another 5 years. Who am I kidding?
Thank you for sharing your examples, it really does help to have solidarity in these mental debates. There's such a long list of financial responsibilities, which you are so right about! But part of the difficulty is that it is a long list, and my "investor mentality" is currently very wimpy compared to my "consumer mentality" even after this year of trying to downgrade the consumer mentality. 100% on board for no debt, other than the mortgage we are never going back to that unless it's a true emergency.
I think you're onto something though that maybe the best way to combat or at least mitigate the "damage" is to feed the investor mentality more, automate a higher savings rate so that less funds feel "available", automatically save more of my "extra gig income", have a plan for that in advance, which I historically haven't because it's never guaranteed...I cognitively "know" that it would be better to do those things but maybe I need to work on "feeling the hype" of putting money towards security and investing in stocks/retirement. Actually that was supposed to be a much bigger part of my journey in sharing here, the finances, I mean, trying to save more aggressively - but I kind of got sidetracked in the whole analysis of the influences I was exposing myself to etc.
@Alexas.nobuyyear You are welcome. I also think the community shares in the responsibility of not encouraging over consumption. I am close to my 60s. And I notice that today, we don't hesitate to tell each other to go spend "on that thing" and we even celebrate it. But we are apologetic about reminding each other about planning for the future and being frugal. That wasn't the case when I was growing up. In fact it was the opposite (and a little annoying tbh). We all have moments where we want to buy that thing. People who make money will always try to separate you from it. It was helpful that a mindset of thrift was reenforced by family, neighbors, and school back in the day.
As far as the pants... If you had a habit of thrift and you never over consumed and this one time you wanted a treat that is one thing. But in your specific case, in this part of your journey, we are worried for you because it seems more like someone who knows they should cut back on drinking being tempted to have one more drink. Getting something you want for Xmas isn't bad, and you have made progress. We are worried it will trigger behaviors you have worked hard to change. Maybe we are wrong.
Whatever you decide, enjoy your holiday guilt free, Good Luck on the rest of your journey and thanks for sharing.
@belkyhernandez8281 yes yes 100% on enabling each other to spend.
My friend was talking about wanting apple headphones awhile ago and I felt weird saying "ok but do you really need them, they're kind of expensive right?" Instead of just "yeah, get them girl!" It's not even about not getting the headphones, just an invitation to consider if spending the money is worth it or if we are just in the "shopping mood".
So I really am trying to do the same for myself, make sure it's not a mood, wait a certain amount of time, discuss with people, have it in the budget (even if it could always be saved or invested!) etc...we'll see how the holidays shape up as far as gifts this year. But also determined to not let it turn into a "shopping relapse".
I learned my lesson about spending big bucks on pants, my weight fluctuates too much, usually right after I buy something. I will spend more on a coat as well as shoes because I know I will be able to wear both without worrying if they will fit on a given day. Generally I don't give myself an out of "oh, I can sell it later".
Yes I also never approach things with the thought of selling it or even ability to sell, but it has ended up incidentally serving me in cases where I did sell things by more "influencer-hyped" brands (which were easy to sell/get some of the $ back).
I have also recently outgrown a couple of pairs of pants, and the lesson did kind of sting since one was a favorite pair, and the other was a more recent (not this year) purchase. I would try and consider that with this purchase if I do go through with it as far as planning for size versatility, allowing some extra room, etc.
Although I do have some expensive shoes, I can only go so far because I tend to wear my shoes out, I guess by walking violently...😅
Buying more expensive purses has set a precedent for me. It hasn’t been the exact same for clothes. I do find buying more expensive clothes has made me more content with my purchases but it hasn’t stopped the urge to buy. Buying more expensive clothes requires more research and it’s easier to avoid them if they aren’t near perfect. However I’m still free to buy at a lower price so I have to avoid shopping in other ways.
I kind of feel similarly with the purses, as far as if I were to buy another leather bag I'd never be able to go faux leather or get a generic version after having the Polenes that I enjoy. However I'm also still happy to use a cheaper nylon bag, it's not so much about price as it is the quality, I know it's not always reflective of the price jump, but in my experience there is a noticeable difference between the generic, even real-leather bag vs. the more "designer" options...same with, say, a pair of levi's jeans vs. the more expensive tibi jeans I already own that were not $500.
Likewise I feel similar that if I am buying something expensive it has to be perfect or it'll be returned and the money will go towards something else. The goal is definitely still to break free from "wanting" things, and on top of that also learn to not buy everything I that I might want, but finding reasonable parameters for spending/acquiring things is proving to be more tricky than I anticipated, I've read somewhere though that if everyone only bought 5 new clothing pieces per year we could cut emissions by a significant level, so maybe that will be one of my parameters going forward.
Fun fact, according to a video I was watching earlier (The Financial Diet I think), people used to pay what would be the equivalent of $500 for a clothing item today (relatively). So whatever you end up deciding, that’s fitting to know that most of our clothes today are (likely) cheaper and make us consume more than we would perhaps. Also, love the coat… cashmere is amazing!
I saw that video! It DID make me think "well then, this is maybe the price I should be paying!" 😆 I also enjoyed that she did a nice recap of so many of the things I've been thinking and feeling this year regarding consumer attitudes and the overconsumerism we see on social media.
But the point is that if I had to pay that much every time, yes, I'd buy much fewer pieces. Not to say that the "best" way is to only buy $500 clothing, but it might be the best approach to incorporate adding new (or thrifted-new-to-me) pieces...would I buy this if it did cost that much? I'm also considering trying the "5 pieces of clothing" challenge as a kind of framework for next year.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I think the bottom line is that $500 for ethical/tailored jeans is ok. It's the price of it. $500 for well-marketed, designer jeans that are made in sweatshops and cost the company nothing to make (so all of the profit goes not to the makers, but some company boss) is not ok.
Is tibi worth that money or is it just marked up? Are you paying $500 for quality and ethics, or for marketing?
Could you find these jeans second-hand?
@palkramona I've been looking secondhand, no luck yet. I used to do a lot of my shopping secondhand online so that is very much my default preference, but I have to be careful not to justify things because it's secondhand and therefore more sustainable 🫠
I'll have to look more into how sustainable of a brand Tibi actually is...I know the creator is openly against fast fashion and has talked about smaller production scales, doing fewer better designs...but as we all know it could be greenwashing to justify charging a higher markup on practices that may not actually be sustainable or use non exploitative labor.
yes, but for winter coats, fur coats or leather boots, a bridal dress. Not for jeans, sweaters, socks and undergarments.
@LaulaLintu-p9z I understand where you're coming from, maybe that's what they were referring to (I don't think they specified what kind of clothes in that video) and I certainly wouldn't bother with overly expensive socks or undergarments for myself, but for practical reasons I'd actually rather spend more on the things that get used and enjoyed the most, which would be jeans and sweaters for me.
I certainly don't buy $500 boots (they'd wear out/need cobbling at the same speed as slightly cheaper) or even bridal dresses (to only wear once) - not that I HAVE to spend that somewhere else, but for my lifestyle where I don't quickly wear out "jeans and sweaters" it might be worth it to me. Not that I'm actually out here buying $500 sweaters either, or contemplating that price for any other jeans besides these ones 😆
"This is crazy but let me take notes." is the best explanation of real metacognition 😂
A lot of comments about jeans not being worth 500$ dollars so just going against the crowd… it’s ok to spend 500$ on jeans if you can. You don’t need to justify it.
As my Mom says (and she’s an older person and a single Mom of 2 kids, never has been rich or even middle class, lives outside US, NOT consumerist at all), it’s ok to buy something that you want and what makes you happy because the older you get the less things will bring you joy.
One of her friends said “Why didn’t I buy those stupid curtains when I really wanted them?”.
This feels like a reasonable representation of "YOLO" and I very much feel in agreement with this idea😄
What if you changed the way you considered the cost of the jeans?
In the UK the minimum hourly wage is £12.21, so it would take over 40 hours of work, to pay for that one pair of jeans.
So maybe... "are these jeans worth the amount of hours I would have to give up for them?".
I wouldn't give up over 40 hours of my life for a single item of clothing personally.
Our food and household bits shop each month as a family of 4 is £300... so one pair of jeans would be nearly 2 months of food and household necessities.
Also, is the price making them more desirable? Is it because you have to consider the price that they feel like you are investing?
How stressed would you be wearing them? Would you be having to change out of them around your children, just to protect the investment....
I really enjoy your videos and your thought processes. Its refreshing to have these topics discussed.
I love this way of thinking and have thought about talking about this more directly, but it's one of those things where it inevitably sounds really icky any time that I do. But I will share down here in the hopes that it'll be taken in the right way.
Prefacing this with the fact that I HAVE worked minimum wage before, and there was a time of my life where these jeans would literally be a month's rent payment for me. So it's not outside of my lived experience.
However, at the moment my attitudes towards money need a bit of work, because I am extremely lucky to be in a position the job I do does not feel like work, and is also not minimum wage as far as time away from home. Yes it involves practice time but I've never counted that in my "working hours" because I've always done that, from a young age. I've also always played in orchestra in some form, youth orchestra, schools, so it doesn't always feel like "work" and it's hard, when I get the paycheck, to prioritize the right things all the time. One of my "plans of attack" is to automate more savings going forward so that I just have less that feels "available."
I also hesitate to mention that our grocery budget is probably over twice what these jeans cost at the moment, which might incur all sorts of further judgement! But my husband has strong preferences for trying to get the "best quality" we can afford, stay away from ultraprocessed foods, and part of it might also just be what things cost in our area. We shop at Walmart and Costco, which are both "the cheap options" for groceries here, so it's not that we are paying a markup for a nicer store. But that's another reason perhaps why it's not as crazy to think of parting with $400-500 for jeans, when expenses as a general rule are so high right now and it's hard to feel that it would make a significant difference.
The price is definitely not making them more desirable, I thought about this shortly after filming this because I don't think I mentioned that aspect of what a price can connote about an item - and it's not even really about the price at face value, because if I'm honest I DO think it's better to buy one expensive thing than 10 cheaper things when it comes down to it, but, if I were to find a cheaper option that ticked all the same boxes I wouldn't hesitate to choose the cheaper one.
And, depending on what we are doing I might change out of them, just as I do most of my "nicer clothes", if the activity involved eating messy foods or messy activities. But using my other "nice jeans" as an example - I wear them a lot both at home and at work and am happy with the purpose they serve in my wardrobe, while I know price is kind of a factor, once something is actually in my wardrobe it's not really a case of how expensive something is, because once it's purchased, price is only an issue if one has to replace something...I'm just not in the habit of constantly thinking "oh I spent x on these, I can't ever ruin them in any way" - for better or worse! I just want to live in the clothes. Sure I'll take notice of material requirements and not play in the rain in a suede jacket, or put silk/wool in a washing machine...but I think if the "worst case" happened and something I really loved got irreparably stained, I'd look into visible mending or dying (and have done so with a couple of pieces in the past).
Sorry for the essay here but just hashing out some more thoughts, and I appreciate the opportunity your comment gave, for me to do so 🥰
@Alexas.nobuyyear that's a good point about how in reference to expenses it's a relative cost! I enjoy that your videos cause me to challenge ideas and thoughts.
The fact that your not overly hung up or precious over items is a good point too. I have a 1950s coat that I purchased from a charity shop. It would have been a very high end coat and was mended alot in it's life. I think as clothes were less available then, it was more common to repair them and extend their life. I guess now we have an abundance of options items are replaced easier instead.
I think the fact that this is an item you would purchase regardless of cost, then maybe it's really something you should just purchase and try on. See if they are still as desirable. I guess whilst you have the option to return them you still haven't officially "spent" the money as you could get it refunded. Maybe once in your hands you would know for sure. You would either feel "yes these are perfect" or "nope not what I wanted" but even if you have them and still feel unsure... I'd still count it as a no personally. For me, once I can buy an item or I have the item, I desire it much less, or I love it an use it to death... so then I know it's a good buy.
Also you mentioned the discount lowering the cost for you, what about working extra to lower the cost, or selling things to lower the cost. That's something we have done for bigger purchases. We've recently just started selling off items to cover the cost of a hoover, so it's not such a blow cost wise.
I’m in the UK too. We’re a family of four also but with a golden retriever and one of my twins (they’re nearly 12) has coeliac disease and type one diabetes so our monthly shopping budget is probably twice that! Eek 🙈 definitely more like £500-600 but I do receive £520 in DLA every four weeks as my twins are both classed as disabled, £200 a month in maintenance from my twins dad (I’m remarried now) and I work full time on around £1 an hour more than minimum wage- my husband is on a little more than me but I don’t drive and work predominantly from home. I too wouldn’t spend that much on one item of clothing but have definitely spent far too much on numerous items over the years. Also to add I spent over £520 in the summer on school uniforms lol. Damn our expensive uniforms!
Can you find a store nearby that has this shape of jean and go try it on in person? I know you want the particular brand, but it would give you an idea of how it would look and while you’re there you could try it on with different tops and jackets etc to see if it’s easy to style. I think I remember you calling them barrel jeans- it looks like there are several brands that make that shape.
It's a good idea! I don't know if it totally solves the problem, because there might be significant differences (especially as many stores don't carry the long sizes in person), but worth a shot.
I do think there’s a price to quality curve. Taking jeans for an example, What is the sourcing price for high quality denim/ notions/ etc, a well paid designer, pattern drafter, person or people to construct the jeans, etc? I find that number usually by looking at the average price of quality small-scale brands who make their sustainable sourcing practices traceable, and I think it’s about $200 right now. Anything beyond that, then, is just paying for a name. It annoys me when influencers equate “luxury” branding with quality, because it often is priced well beyond what it would take to just make a quality garment if it were about that. ALSO I’ve seen no evidence that Bottega Venetta, Gucci, Ganni, etc produce things sustainably, so it’s very possible you’re not getting that benefit either.
I agree that what we pay isn't for the quality or the actual materials as far as the markup, and another comment was suggesting that a tailor-made pair of pants would be cheaper. Which I'm actually super curious about, but I'm not sure I could find a way to even get that kind of quote where I live - so in some ways buying expensive pants also comes with the convenience of NOT having to find a tailor, and also being able to return!
But yes, paying for the name I don't really care about, like I said I'd rather never have to share brand info (or price!) with anyone who would see me in real life! I guess in a way I would also be also paying for the influencer/social media marketing that brought them to my eyeballs in the first place, which is also not a thought that makes me feel good about paying the markup.
I still find it interesting to consider why I never went as far as Bottega Veneta, Gucci, etc. "expensive designers" - in my 20s I did used to think "maybe I'll get a "luxury" designer bag for my 30th birthday" and by the time I turned 30 I really didn't care to do that - which does suggest that maybe there is a time where I'll be more immune to things like $500 jeans as well!
Six days into my no-buy and my inner scientist is taking loads of notes about my Guinea pig self! I’m finding this really hard - comparable with giving up smoking several decades ago! I’m so irritable, even though the parcels from October’s shopping haven’t stopped arriving yet. Why am I cutting myself off from the pleasure of shopping?
It shows me how addicted I am. Though we aren’t in debt apart from the mortgage and car, and we have good savings, and I shop within my means - so is my addiction ok? That thought process reminds me of one of the ways my mind got me to smoke again (briefly): I can obviously give up smoking because I’ve done it for a few days. So why not have the odd one, if I can control it now?
Aaarrrgghhh!!!!!!
Part of me really want you to get the pants, because it would be fun and whimsical and a rare treat just for you and a reward for your months of not buying… and part of me says no, don’t do it, you can make yourself just as happy for far less money by doing something else, you’ll wish you hadn’t got them within a year, and surely they’ll come down in price sometime soon.
Anyway - whatever you do - enjoy your decision! Xxx
Yes yes yes to all of this. I think the important thing to remember is that it's not about the "few days" of stopping, it's about reshaping the "new normal" and also reaching the point where that "normal" is easy and dare I say, fun, to maintain!
This whole experience of the expensive pants is prompting a lot of reflection about wanting things, and how some categories have been pretty easy and I don't see the attraction in continuing to want most things, but there are some "final categories", namely books and clothing, where the urge to want and purchase are still high.
What aspects set these categories apart? What frames of mind do I need to cultivate to make these categories just as easy as the others? I'll be talking about this on video soon too I think (and by soon, it might be a few weeks 😅)
Thank you for being so honest. I think there are a lot of other people out there that struggle with the same thing, wanting something expensive while not necessarily being in a perfect financial situation. I think wanting clothing is often looked down upon because it is typically more of an interest that women have, and unfortunately we still live in a sexist world. But there are people who want the latest technology, the newest car model, kitchen gadget, etc. some of these things much more expensive than $500.
I think it is all a matter of what you value, and other people who don’t value the same thing as you may feel you are making a stupid choice. So you only have to see if it makes sense for you.
Personally, I wait at least a year or more before making a large purchase and generally will have saved specifically for the item ahead of time. This generally means the item is on sale which is nice and it really tests how much I want something. And if the item is gone by that time, then I will just keep my eye out on second markets or find a similar item.
I also love fashion, and am on a similar journey of trying to limit my consumption. That is why personally I pretty much only buy secondhand and am teaching myself to make my own clothes out of my old pieces. I feel much more creatively satisfied and it is a way for me to enjoy my hobby without purchasing. But it is hard, and takes continuous mindfulness to stop the consumerism that is so encouraged.
This is an extremely helpful comment as far as contextualizing perspective here.
Because I'm trying the "no buy" the default is to kind of feel "guilty" or that it's unacceptable to want things, but kind of like I said here I am currently shifting to a mindset of examining "why do I want this, actually?" at the end of the day, the "me of today" DOES still value clothing, fashion, gets a lot of joy out of things that feel very "my style" regardless of price point, it's not because of the price that I like these but the price is not necessarily putting me off, because I have a strong sense that these particular pants will bring joy from actually wearing rather than just owning or buying them. And you're totally right that that will only make sense for ME, because for most other people, they're just a pair of (possibly overpriced) jeans.
But it's also true that the work of the no buy year HAS cut out most other desires! Makeup and beauty I view much more through the lens of "I have enough" and don't want to buy more things that I have to use. Kitchen gadgets? I now prefer to just use the simplest means or use whatever I already have, even if it's not flashy, fun, or "time-saving". Tech? Cars? Those can be upgraded when what I currently have no longer works in a functional way, and even then I don't care to have an iphone or "nicer" car.
As part of my journey before no buy, I had already pivoted to searching secondhand first for any clothing I wanted, and found that I justified many purchases this way, possibly more than I could buying "new"...and it was hard to resist the "FOMO" of "what if someone else buys this one thing before I fully make up my mind?" And I can still be susceptible, as I experienced this year (everytime one of the reselling apps sends me a coupon and I feel compelled to use it, even though I'm trying to not buy!). Love the idea of making clothing out of what you already have, too! In the future I can see that becoming a project I'd enjoy as well. If I knew I could recreate these jeans with a pair or two of what I already own I'd do that in a heartbeat! And it would feel so much more "cool" to have made them myself rather than purchased. I just lack the skills and time at this stage of my life. Regardless of the outcome with these pants, I will continue the work of counteracting all the "consumerism-enabling" voices out there in society, as well as within myself!
I think the constant bombardment and escalation of ads this time of year makes it easier to rationalize something that 4 months from now will feel ludicrous. It’s a hard time of year for many for other reasons, and pair that with the pressure to open the wallet for any kind of love and anybody with a shopping addiction will struggle. Thanks for being so open on your journey and be kind to yourself whatever you decide.
PS, if it’s helpful, my husband and I decided we are only purchasing for the children in the family and if we have time will be doing handmade for adults. If we don’t have time, we don’t. We are planning on celebrating with good food and company and calling that good enough, as we already own plenty of stuff.
Yes! I do feel more equipped to handle the ad-onslaught this year, but there are all kinds of ways this season infiltrates our ideas of "normal spending", that is such a good point to remember. 4 months from now, will it feel totally ludicrous, or will I be out there, still appreciating the ridiculously expensive jeans?
In our extended family adults in general don't gift for each other, kids yes, but in the nuclear family circle my husband and I will do gifts for each other, which has historically meant that we each choose one or a few things that we "get to acquire" and have for under the tree. So to all of a sudden quit that this year because of my "no buy challenge" does feel a bit unrealistic, especially as my husband's already talking about an expensive lawn tool and model trains he's got an eye on 😵😆
I know I could just let him have his fun and not feel compelled to also get myself an expensive "thing", but it doesn't make the idea any easier, that's for sure - I do feel like by next year I'll have a better picture of how to actually make it work, after one Christmas of "trying to be a more conscious consumer"
I’ve watched so many of your videos and I love watching you unravel your thoughts and tell us what you’ve learned as you go through your no buy year…. I think it’s very original 😁 You hit the nail on the head with all the sustainable, minimalist, eco what have you videos that are out there… essentially another way of getting you to spend your money 😱 Not in my wildest dreams would I ever buy a $500 pair of jeans…. mine all bought secondhand. I believe you should receive these jeans as a gift and learn from the experience… and then tell us your thoughs 🤣 I’m currently doing a very low spend year and the psychology of it is truely fascinating 😁 Looking forward to more of your thoughts 😊
Thank you!
The main question is “is being conscious consumer makes your life less stressful or not?”. You don’t seem less stressed in this video going over and over justifying buying and not buying the jeans then if you would just buy them and regret it. What’s the point if your mental health still not getting better because of overthinking about a pair of jeans? Wouldn’t it be better to just buy it and put it to rest? Is it worth thinking about it for months? Is it worth the stress?
Just thought that what Internet really needs to focus on is healthy consumerism 😄 because both ends of the spectrum (overspending vs sustainability) seem neurotic
So here's the interesting thing about this "no buy challenge" thing...I might be stressed, but it is the stress of a (hypothetical) scientist observing an experiment that keeps going wrong, and they want to find the conditions that would make it go right. It really feels like the "good stress" of creative thinking, in a way, even if that sounds ridiculous because it's just related to a person wanting to buy a pair of pants.
But I truly was fascinated when I realized - hey, I've been doing this "not buying stuff" thing and as soon as I have an occasion where I expected to "buy something", a whole bunch of mentalities come flooding back in, even if they are slightly different, there is a lot of the same "justifying narrative" that I don't fully believe this time but still have in my brain, if that makes sense.
It's also crazy to me how these narratives totally don't work on most items anymore. Over this year in many categories of former spending, I can appreciate how the stuff is just stuff. Makeup is just pigmented goop in pretty plastic, that eventually becomes trash. I don't need more than I would actually wear and use up. A lot of books don't actually change the way I see the world even if I thought they might. I can focus on what I can borrow for free. My home already has everything it needs, decorative items or more blankets won't add any coziness, kitchen tools for the most part won't make food prep faster...it's just clutter to manage. Many styles of clothing look great but I can appreciate them without owning, because they aren't "me" and I don't need to "try to be that" even if other people look amazing.
BUT, when there is an item of clothing, still my primary category of "frivolous wants", that feels like "me", it all seems to come back a bit, and while I do feel like I can walk away, I still don't want to all the time.
Regardless of the path I take, buying the jeans or not, this feels to me like the stress of being fascinated and curious, maybe also a product of a career as a classical musician where this kind of examination and drive to "improve" is a part of our daily practice, imposed on us both by ourselves at home and those directing us in the symphony at work...and it's also a lot of fun, in a way, same as performing music is, even though the result is always a bit imperfect. 😄
Edited to add - hopefully all of this didn't sound horribly pretentious, it's just a topic I'm genuinely excited and curious and dare I say, passionate about now!
@ not at all! Thank you for your replies!
You hit the nail on the head @svetlanadreher7190! Healthy consumer. I love that term.
@@Alexas.nobuyyearI am in a very similar place! I understood this path of thinking and explanation perfectly. Thank you for sharing!
I understand your perspective. I grew up quite poor and my husband grew up wealthy. As a couple our purchasing habits are extremely different. He is similar to your husband in buying expensive things and keeping them for decades. I cannot justify the purchase of an expensive item when I see so many beautiful things secondhand. He recently bought a wool trench coat but there are hundreds in the thrift store here in Korea. He said he had a great experience in the shop with the staff and he didn't need to search long. In the end he buys what he wants and I buy what I want, but it does cause momentary conflict on my part.
And his influence rubs off on me just a little. He is naturally a minimalist and easily throws away things. I'm a maximalist is amount of things and I can't easily throw away things. But being with him and also being an adult with an income, as lead me to slightly accept higher priced items. But I still can't stomach buying them new. I thrift wool and cashmere. However I do think my childhood has lead to a mindset as an adult to want to have more. I also moved a lot. Once I can home from school and our rented furniture was taken away. We moved every 2 years. Now, I've lived in the same place for 4 years, the longest ever in my whole life. I feel like a lot of my overconsumption comes from building a nest when I've never had that ability (child, financially, moving) or experience. The Swedish death cleaning is a concept that helps me now declutter. If I died, I would hate my husband having to deal with my things.
It does feel kind of egregious in some way to buy new things, when there already exist so many things that are already perfectly good. I used to have problems buying secondhand too, so really an attitude of "not buying anything I don't really need" is something I'm still trying to cultivate or make more of the "default" setting. Just encountering some struggles during this season of gifts and the traditions I used to participate in, arguably over-participate in, as far as buying things during this time of year!
I totally get how moving so much and having experiences like your furniture being gone when you came home, would lead you to building a nice secure nest for yourself in adulthood! I've also seen multiple mentions of the Swedish death cleaning concept, so maybe that'll also show up here at some point - I really like the idea too, even as I'm extremely grateful that I've never actually had to experience dealing with that for someone in my life.
$500 seems high to me for what is a very identifiable kooky-shaped pair of jeans that is likely to look like a dated novelty item as the fashion cycle turns. But if you want it and can afford it, you do you. My only point of irritation after the earlier video if you’ll forgive me for mentioning it, is that if you want them and have reason to acquire them, just get them for yourself. If down the line you end up decluttering them for one reason or another, it’s already going to be a stressor having to justify it to your internet consumerism jury out here without adding sentimental gift guilt to it. Also you’re a working adult who has grown three children - for feminism’s sake, I encourage you to buy your own clothes. Otherwise we might be veering into ‘review budget’ rationalization territory.
Anyway, you’re awesome. Just some internet person’s opinion. Enjoy your clothes!
I appreciate that! YOU are also awesome and love to hear your opinions, from one random-internet-person to another.
So I feel like part of this issue is that our "gifting" tradition needs a major overhaul - my husband and I have both tended to use Christmas and birthdays as a time to get something that's more expensive that we want but don't need, his things include car parts, this year he's talking about either model trains or an "edger" for the lawn - in other words, things I can't see much value in but it's the "time" that we get to do that kind of thing within /reason as far as the budget goes. We're pretty bad at choosing things the other actually wants, so instead we have input in the choice of the thing that the other person is looking at. So the sentimentality of gifts is already kind of destroyed in that regard 😅 probably should look at fixing that at some point.
I'm not too concerned about the internet consumerism jury - as long as it doesn't grow to impact my actual job, as long as I'm honest and trying my best here I don't think I can be seriously faulted. People buy things that end up being mistakes - I'm happy to be honest and learn from it publicly, just as I have with everything so far.
Never going to justify consumerism for "the plot" here though, no review budgets or any of that will become a part of this channel. I actually did have the thought that it might appear that I'm inflating the drama of these $500 pants with this 55 minute rant about it, for the sake of content, but, that's just how the cookie crumbles as they say.
Finally - they might be $500 but how else am I to find a very identifiable kooky-shaped pair of jeans that seem like they'll actually fit how I'd like them to? 😆 Kind of joking here but in a practical sense, the cheaper versions are either shorter, more structured, or otherwise more "normal-looking" and at this point I WANT to be "that one person who wears those weird comfy and sculptural jeans on repeat", I am okay with that, that is the kind of style identity I strive for when I remove the "influence" of trends etc., with kind of overtly identifiable pieces (as my colorblocked coat, Polenes, bright blue sweater and some of my shoe choices will attest - basically all of my favorite long-standing wardrobe items.). I could be wrong about this just as I have been before, but in some ways the only way to find out might be to actually try it.
Fair enough! I’d mention the expensive things for each other at Christmas sometime in a vlog, it defuses my gendered perception of it and is an interesting topic in and of itself since I’m sure many people do this. Thanks for engaging with your viewers/commenters.
I think it's an interesting phenomena that we feel the need to justify our desires. Not saying this in judgement at all, but out of thoughtful reflection. I too justify why I want things. I am a collector of things, mostly toys and dolls, and some of the things I collect are expensive. On my own personal no-buy journey, I've paused all my collecting purchases. This has given me time to reflect on why I collect things in the first place. And if it's "wrong" to desire these material goods that serve no function in my life other than I like them and they are beautiful/interesting/fulfill childhood nostalgia. Do I need to justify it more than that? Do I only want these things because I live in a capitalistic society that places value on objects and the possession of them? Must I possess things to show my appreciation for them, or can I simply appreciate them?
I don't know the answers to these questions. And I don't know if I can ever truly disentangle myself from the materialism drilled into me by this society or from my childhood experiences. I do know that I still want the things I collect. I still love them. And they still bring me joy to look at them. I just hope that after this no-buy year of mine, I can approach my collecting thoughtfully. Do I need every single release of this toy line, even if i feel meh about it? In the past I would have purchased every single release without much thought. I've reached the point now that I do not.
Is the point of a no-buy year to curb all desire and never buy things that aren't "necessary," or is it to actually become a "conscious consumer" and think critically about the things we buy and why we buy them. I guess the answer to that question depends on the person.
Another great, thought provoking video.
It sounds like we're encountering a lot of the same questions! And some of the same feelings too, about can we ever be fully disentangled? I kind of think that, yes, we can! But it might take more than a year.
Changes have already happened for both of us by the sounds of it, and while I actually do plan to extend the "project no buy" into the next year, it may come with different parameters as far as "planned or excepted purchases", partly based on everything that's happening as I confront "purchasing for Christmas" in the weeks to come.
My sense right now is that if I'm honest part of me just doesn't WANT to forego all gifts for Christmas, and doing gifts means, buying something I don't need for myself (yes even if my husband buys it I know it's basically me shopping for something I want) and this is something I would love to be "free" from - but, will I never indulge in it even if I feel "free?" or does getting to the point of freedom mean that I won't "want" anything enough anymore, to make it worth my money or time? In a weird way does that mean I should enjoy this last "wanting of stuff" that I AM experiencing, in case by next Christmas I just don't have anything at all, on the mental wishlist?😆
Love your videos Alexa! And your streams of consciousness :) I recently started a new job and the work I did for my 8mo no buy and this year was supposed to have a strict budget low buy…the low buy went out the window…my purchase threshold is higher because of the no buy but the desire for things is still high, so I definitely understand
Yes! Thank you for sharing. I also think that it could be easy to get "derailed" if we have to buy something (or decide to buy something), even after a period of working hard, trying to be a conscious consumer.
I really don't want to have things go totally out the window for even next year when my "no buy year" time is "done", so I'll be thinking about what rules feel reasonable to continue.
My most expensive jeans are some thrifted men’s Levi’s £15.00, I must say I felt a bit giddy spending that much in a charity shop (uk) 👖😂. If you do end up getting the tibi ones you can be satisfied that you’ve given full disclosure and been totally up front and honest (not that anyone has to justify their purchases to total strangers).On one level you know it’s insane and yet…….We humans are strange contrary creatures. Love these cosy chats.
You said something that really struck me. You said something like things can be a burden and I really felt this. I had been saying I was going old school with Christmas this year, asking for things I use like my favorite Shampoo and face wash. I kept saying I don't need more stuff and when you said that I realized that was why I wanted to go old school (my mom would give us tooth paste and new tooth brush things we needed) I feel burden by what I already have I don't need more. This was a thinker.
Yes same with the toothbrush and toothpaste ending up as gifts under the tree! My mom did that, and I too have done that with my kids 😄
Also things like the choice of a box of cereal - we never have cereal for breakfast, but letting the kids have a box this one time, is comparatively cheap, fun, and indulgent.
I guess the old adage of "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" used to signify a much more utilitarian approach, assuming something to wear/read were also chosen with intention, and there being just one thing that the person (in our case, the kid) "wants" as a gift. I've seen some advice adding a 5th and/or 6th, "something they didn't know they wanted" but you know they'll like (this is to address the giver's joy in giving a gift) and "something to do or somewhere to be" as well, which I quite like the idea of, and I might actually try this plan for this Christmas.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I had never heard of that. That is a good formula. The cereal is cool too, my mom never did that for Christmas with 4 kids it might have still been a little pricey for her at the time. One of the Nordic countries has a tradition on Christmas eve that everyone gets chocolates and a book and spends the night reading and snacking in bed and I have always thought how lovely that sounded. It doesn't work in my current circumstance but I would have adopted it if it had. I think the biggest thing people are starting to realize is they just don't need more stuff (at least I hope so).
When I was growing up (70’s amd 80’s) it was only the kids at christmastime that had a ‘wish list’. Adults didnt. What if you (all of us) just got a gift or two for family members at holiday/Birthday and that you just receive what people get you with graciousness. Period. No plan. Separately, have a clothing budget for the year. No plan just a budget. Buying yourself gifts at holiday time is definatly totally new and not part of generally what holidays are for, imho. Not saying I havent done it but it is 100% fabricated by consumer culture & businesses.
It's true I think that the "adult wishlist" is a newer phenomenon! I think part of it is that people don't want to receive gifts they'll dispose of these days, for sustainability reasons sometimes, or just pure clutter/excess, so maybe the consumer-culture narrative has been to "share a wishlist" instead of saying "we just don't need gifts".
I will say that our extended family doesn't do gifts for adults, and if I didn't "get myself a gift" from my husband for Christmas/birthdays, he would 100% choose things I don't actually want, which is part of why we do it this way. He and I do want to exchange "gifts" (within the nuclear family) but we are both not good at choosing something without guidance, so he will also just get himself something he wants for his Christmas/birthday and unwrap it on the day to be "from me". I do understand if that's totally destroying the spirit of the "gifting' aspect of it though!
I wonder if it really would be better to have a set clothing budget and not associate "getting something new" with a gift-giving occasion, because in recent years the "gift-giving occasions" have tended to get a bit out of hand, or have justified maybe more than is reasonable both for myself and sometimes for kids. The alternative I was thinking of is to set a budget AND reserve new clothing for the "gifting occasions" going forward, so that there's still the association of the tradition but also stay within budget parameters and possibly number of new items, if I set a goal for that (limit of things brought in) next year.
i'm glad adults indicate what they want nowadays. i would feel terrible if i gave my sister something she disliked, for example
Your analysis skills are 👌🏻
So many of your views apply to many aspects of life ❤
My motto is "less but better"...if this is your personal "less but better" (for instance, if you are someone that in the past may have spent that same 400 on 5 or 10 pairs of lesser quality pants but now you choose just this one pair...and you know that you can afford it without any negative consequences) then I don't see an issue with it.
I like this motto but I do still have to be careful that I'm not using it to justify "upgrades" that won't bring the biggest actual upgrade to my life!
However in this case, I actually do feel like these pants would bring a significant upgrade. In the past, I would have been the person to "try x versions of the cheaper thing", buying and reselling on repeat, before probably eventually caving and trying the "real thing". So in some ways it is probably better to cut to the chase if I decide to buy this time.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Yes, I get this. At first my thought was "$400 for a pair of jeans?!!" But, even up until about six years ago when I made a huge change in lifestyle, I could spend several times that amount in a year buying clothes that weren't necessarily good quality, didn't necessarily fit well, weren't truly my style, etc. These purchases did not have months of fore-thought (like you have given this potential purchase)...many, maybe even most, were spur of the moment purchases. I also was in a constant cycle of buy and sell at that time. I wish I could recoup both the money and the time I spent buying/selling....looking back, it feels wasted.
Hello Alexas,
Just repopping in after having watched this video fully yesterday. i noticed that you made multiple disclaimers of being both guinea pig and scientist and that you're not going to be flawless in your anti consumption values. But i also wanted to remind you that when you put yourself on the internet, your vulnerabilities are freely taken and judged by those who inherently misperceive you. I find your efforts truly brave and love the seeds you've planted in my mind of mindful consumption. It truly shows your commitment to expressing your desire for change and growth and that's rare on this platform where people usually take on the guru role
For sure! The lab rat vs. scientist thing is actually a new realization for me, hence bringing that up multiple times - I think it's one of the most important things "no buy" has done for me actually, making me an observer of my habits.
I'm also okay with the possible judgements at this stage of my life - it's like I read in "The Four Agreements" (which I talked about on here awhile back) - as long as we speak the truth (as we know it) and do our best, what we put out is kind of beyond judgement, and as long as we don't make assumptions or take things personally, what we receive from others is not capable of hurting us.
I'm sure there are practical downsides that I haven't encountered yet, so I'll continue to try and be mindful about it. Thank you!
@@Alexas.nobuyyear You raise a great point. I guess, to add to my comment, I appreciate your unique, detailed experience in the no-buy year, as well as your other videos. It widens the gap of interpretation for viewers who wanna apply the principles you mention in their own way
I love your honesty and I think you're so brave for laying out all your thoughts and musings bare to be judged by the masses. I sincerely hope you're not getting the hate that you are bracing yourself for!!
I have a lot of my own opinions, being in a 'low-buy' year myself. But after watching and reading through your thoughtful replies it seems like you're most interested in getting to the bottom of 'why I still want these pants even if it's illogical'. I definitely don't have an answer, for you or for me XD. I still find myself wanting things, though not as frequently or as strongly as before. For clothing/bags specifically, if I see something I want, I usually think "I'll crochet/sew one!" because I'm super picky. Does it make it ok to want it since I'm 'doing a hobby' rather than 'spending exorbitant amounts of money' (but the materials cost a lot and that's one of the things I've had to limit...)? I just don't think 'longing' has to be logical and it's ok to want things, it's just unfortunate about the price tag affixed to some of those things...
I've definitely been on the anxious, downward spiral of "I could be saving this money instead!!" but I think if you're reaching your savings goals / have a realistic personal spending budget, it's fine. There's no amount that is too much or too little if you are 'living within your means', to steal the phrase I hear the gurus tossing around. I sort of treat each month as a little game, and if I have net positive $$ at the end of the month (post bills and savings), I can put more into savings, or I can carry it over to the next month if I know I have a big expense coming, or I have to use it to pad months that I was net negative. And -you know- if you have relatives (like I do) that spend TOO much money on you during the holidays on things you don't really want (not to sound ungrateful), why not point them in the right direction? ;)
One thing that has definitely driven me crazy on my journey is the "hypervigilance" I've noticed in myself regarding consumerism. It feels like you have to constantly be on edge to not get influenced to buy something, repeat money-saving affirmations at the store, or run screaming from flashy advertisements. It's akin to managing a chronic illness: you have to work hard at taking your meds consistently, and eating well, and getting appropriate rest and exercise, and whatever else...all to hit the point of remission, where you can exist in the world and not have to deal with the disease, ideally forever (while keeping up those healthy habits of course) but probably until you get a flare-up, realistically.
Sorry for the ramble and the random jumping around, I just wanted to say you're not alone in these aspects at least, because they've made me insane also!
I love this, thank you so much. I actually on the whole don't get any of what I'd consider "hate", even if there is some occasional "tough love!" But the community I've found on here is generally amazing.
One of the things that's most curious to me is that I don't actually want anything that wasn't on the March/April wishlists, at least not until I discovered that some of my pants are getting tight and it sparked a surface-level look at even more pants options. I can feel that progress has been made because I don't feel the same sense of urgency, if something "sells out" it's no longer the end of the world, I can essentially "walk away" if it comes down to it and not feel that I'm suffering. However, when is it maybe "okay" to indulge? With Christmas and a birthday on the horizon, those are the times where I used to OVER indulge and am very reluctant to let go of the idea of indulging, completely. At least this year. I do see a future where I don't feel as compelled to get a "treat" for the occasion.
There is some level of hyper-vigilance for me for sure, but also the feeling that it has gotten easier and that it will continue to get easier the more I examine these things. And it's also become a lot more fun, now that I don't feel the "suffering" when I tell myself not to get the "beautiful thing".
With makeup, especially, I've reached the turning point of seeing it as utilitarian enough that I'm not swayed by the packaging anymore, or the "new formulas", or the idea that there might be "better"...if I already have something that works, I'm fine, and when I replace the "essentials" I don't feel compelled to "add something to try" like I used to.
Clothing was more difficult before and so naturally is more difficult to get to that point with, probably. But I really do believe I will get there, where it's just pieces of fabric constructed in various ways, and if I already have some interesting and true-to-me options, I won't feel the need to explore the "new".
For what it's worth, I do think it's better to crochet/sew what you want, even with material costs, and "do" the crafting rather than just making a purchase. Both because the time and planning involved may insure that you truly want to have the thing at the end of the process, and because it's a you-made thing, which has other value beyond the item itself.
Funny you mention Sezane, I’ve been eyeing their clothes, and it’s a shame it aligns so well with my style as I am on my own low buy 😂 I got to visit their storefront recently and had a lot of fun seeing the clothes in person, but thankfully didn’t leave with any purchases. The cardigan I liked most was not as soft as I’d have liked.
Their knitwear in general is pretty hit and miss in my opinion, it looks beautiful (if the styles are to one's taste) but it often is a bit itchy, or mixed with synthetic which can make it uncomfortable, and still pills quite a lot and needs maintenance!
It's also a brand I see influencers with huge collections of! Which definitely influenced me to buy some of their clothes, despite reselling almost all of it after discovering it really isn't practical for me and my style. I'm sure they will still be around though, whenever you might be ready to make a purchase if it does turn out to be right for you!
Love this video! I would probably buy the 509 dollar jeans, because I’m tall like you and I live in them.
As a side note, and to counter some of your thoughts, Have you read “die with zero”? It’s a total opposite argument of the fire movement. It’s helped my cheap self to live a little more “yolo”.
I have not read it but I like the sound of it! Going to add it to my library holds list right now, thanks!
Greetings from Austria, Europe ❤ Alexandra
Servus! Also watching from Austria!
You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough.
The $500 jeans would only be worth it to me if I could "beat them up" 10 times harder and longer than the $50 jeans. I often find that I can find high quality at lower prices, especially in jeans. My favorite pair of jeans are some I picked up from a thrift store for $5, and they only get worn when I am not planning on doing activities that would wear them out faster. They fit me the best of any of my jeans and show off my attributes in a way I like. I have very durable jeans I have bought from Costco and they have seen lots of wear and use.
I buy very much for quality and treat all of my clothes, even working wear, with a degree of care. Many clothes I have were hand me downs or free, but they get taken care of and mended if need be.
Yes! I am also of the approach of mending and taking care of things to the best of my ability. Reading your comment makes it even more abundantly clear that it's really not the quality I think I'm buying with jeans at this price point, but rather the style and ideally, the fit. Of course if they are terrible quality in real life, I wouldn't entertain the idea of keeping them, but that's not the aspect I'm seeking when I contemplate this particular pair of jeans, and I would also not intend to wear them in circumstances that they'd get beat up in, like you said about your favorite pair of jeans.
I also have Costco clothing (jeans might be a bit tricky, I haven't looked for long inseams there) that's frequently used and obviously much better value for money, since they certainly don't cost nearly that much. I also have a $5 thrifted pair of jeans (my skinny jeans!) which for how often I want to wear skinny jeans, was probably the "best-price-scenario" - I don't reach for them much but I do occasionally want that look.
I haven’t finished watching yet (55 min! not that I’m complaining) but it seems to be a controversial one. I do understand where the comments are coming from, they bring up fair points for discussion, but also, it sounds like you’ve made a carefully considered purchase, this falls in the exceptions you’ve defined at the beginning of your no-buy, and what value each item brings is individual to everyone. On my purchase list is a drill, for example -it is by all means a “practical” purchase, it’s certainly not a must have for my lifestyle (this is for hobbies and handy to have once in a while), and it will still have less uses per year than your jeans!
Haha I'm definitely not going to be in the habit of these long videos, but wow there were a lot of points that came up in this reflection.
Haven't made the purchase yet but if I'm totally honest it probably will happen, unless any more significant breakthroughs/realizations come along before the holiday gifts are all taken care of!
It's really that question of "what value an item brings" that I'm so interested in getting to the bottom of...I know by now that pretty much anything can be justified in the moment, and this is what leads to the overconsumerism we see on social media. That I especially want to avoid. So regardless of whether I get these jeans, I will be continuing this mission to discover some more possibly "universal" ideas of how to know what's "reasonable consumerism" for each person - or maybe just to confirm that such an idea is impossible to apply, it can never be "universal" because of different lived experiences and priorities, but maybe there are some things we can consider in our own ways as to what's worth justifying and what's worth doing the different kind of work, to let go of instead of acquiring.
Even wait list hand loomed japanese selvedge jeans aren't $500. I have a closet with a lot of "designer" jeans--veronica beard, Frame. The VB ones I bought 8 of because they were a mid-heavy weight and they used my clone as the fit model, so on 50% sale they were worth the price. The Frame jeans are equivalent to Ross jeans. Getting denim tailor made with a fancy heavyweight 18oz denim would run you ~$300.
I think partly it's worth the extra $200 from the "tailor-made price" to be able to return if they aren't perfect, and also not to have to track down a tailor in my area and anything else associated with asking for a tailor-made pair (choosing material and notions?).
I once had Frame and Veronica Beard jeans on my radar (never owned any), but it's one of those things where I have a hard time paying over $200 for "normal-looking" styles of jeans. If I can get a similar silhouette thrifted or cheaper, I'll probably do that.
I also don't need so many pairs of jeans as a general rule, which I know these days (I know it's subjective for each person, I have other options like trousers and skirts too) - but if I took the average cost of all of my jeans, I have 4 pairs in the $120 range, two pairs thrifted for $10 or less, and then I'm thinking of adding this $500 pair. I guess that averages out to $142.85 per pair of jeans in my wardrobe, and I don't plan on acquiring any more as far as the number of options. Not that that answers any questions, but it was an interesting thought exercise 😅
I'm just glad I am not (and never really was) into buying so many bags and shoes despite the rise of influencers online. 😂 but I did feel I was overbuying trousers and jeans. Although majority of them are thrifted, I think I went overboard. 10 years ago I only had 10 pairs of bottoms. Now, I don't even wanna count them. 😂 maybe because 10 years ago I never really cared about fashion, and I saw clothing only as functional pieces or uniforms. I hated the idea of vanity and I never thought of putting effort in my appearance as my nerd ass thought that I'd be working in the lab my whole life. 😂 But work will always require you to be presentable. I do relate with having to look for advice here in UA-cam. Maybe it's the reason why I have different cuts of pants. It's to complement the shoes and tops that I have. I wanted to get it right, I wanted proportions and colors to be perfect. This perfectionism led me to having so many clothes now. It's like having a checklist or a to-do list -- once I ticked the box I feel satisfied, even if I know for a fact that I do not actually need the item as a functional piece, since I already have many alternatives. I just wanted that particular cut or silhouette it will give.
I am not familiar with the jeans you were talking about but have you tried looking for a similar style of jeans from other brands? Or can it be thrifted?
I'm super interested in this, because I wonder if there is any way that we can "look for fashion advice" without being influenced into trying a bunch of "new things", new styles, becoming "interested in fashion" when we maybe didn't used to be, buying one thing and then feeling like we need another to complement it...I have fallen into this trap many many times especially with colors, and "testing out" new "signature colors". And then color analysis became popular and both confirmed AND denied some of my favorite colors, which honestly I think might have been more harmful than helpful in terms of me being influenced to buy stuff. Now I'm kind of back where I was originally with my "favorites" but having bought and resold a whole bunch of stuff.
I have been on the lookout for thrifted versions, there are similar styles out there but none that seem like they'd be long enough for me, and I've learned that I absolutely can't tolerate the "cropped" look unless it's very intentional. We'll see what I end up doing in the end, to be continued 😅
I would never spend $500 on pants just because I change, fashion changes, my weight changes... I have trousers that I thought I would wear for many years and are now a little tight... I haven't gained a lot of weight but I feel like my body is changing... so you never know... I would hate to make such a big purchase (for me) and change my mind next year for any of the reasons above.
Same, actually, with pants that I purchased pretty recently also becoming tight a lot sooner than I thought. I'm going to talk about that soon actually.
It's kind of a double-edged problem because now I may actually want to buy some larger pants to replace the tight ones, and these are the ones I really want. BUT as you said, the danger is that what if the same happens, and these ones are much more expensive!
I once bought a pair of jeans for 90 dollars. The next day I was going to leave the city and wanted to get them returned before I leave but the shop was closed and I started sobbing because I wouldn't be able to return them 😅
Nooooo that's the worst! So frustrating!
Very interesting content
The fact that you have coveted the Tibi jeans for such a lengthy period of time, and you are not completely put off by the price, makes me want to tell you you to buy them (if you literally want nothing else for Christmas). If you truly believe they will serve you for many years to come, then their cost-per-wear really won’t be massive, in the end. I am an artist, so I don’t hesitate spending $500 on a small watercolour palette, whereas others would recoil in horror at the mere thought of it (when you can buy an ‘ok’ one for $50). I guess, at the end of the day, the real value of something is fairly subjective, and whilst I probably wouldn’t spend $500 on a pair of jeans, I wouldn’t rule it out, either. In saying all this, I am incredibly frugal, and can buy certain expensive items on occasion, because I am smart with my money. If you do end up buying the jeans, wear them, love them and do so without guilt. All my love from Australia xx
I was just thinking again about "cost per wear" and also how part of that metric for me is actually "joy per wear", which to me is probably worth an extra dollar or two per wear - there are a few pieces in my wardrobe that every time I wear them I DO still feel the spark, even though they're years old - but I hesitate to discuss this on a channel dedicated to trying to detach from things in this way.
Similarly I also own an expensive instrument that most people wouldn't see the value in paying so much for, although because it's my "job" it could be understandable from that perspective. In a realistic way for me, what it comes down to most, perhaps, is whether this is what I actually want for Christmas - rather than an assortment of cheaper things, which is what's tended to happen in the past...and part of me actually does feel that it would be better in some ways to focus on just one thing, rather than buying more "stuff" that costs less. We'll see! Thank you so much for sharing - speaking of Australia and Christmas, I recently made a pavlova to use up some egg whites, brought back memories of my time in NZ 🥝
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Joy per wear has inflated value to me, as well. The pieces that still spark joy after many wears/years are the truly valuable ones. I remember listening to a podcast about minimalism and the discussion was the upside of materialism. The argument was that true materialism meant that you loved, valued and respected the items you owned, and therefore bought minimal amounts and kept them for years (or possibly your entire life). This may apply to your Tibi jeans? Apparently it’s the detachment from material goods that makes things disposable and easy to forget about. I’m not articulating it well, but I find the concept interesting.
Oh, I love that you made a pavlova! My Mum makes one for Christmas lunch, every year. We eat it with whipped cream and loads of raspberries on top (whilst drinking too much sparkling wine and getting really hot in the sun). Very different to a traditional American Christmas 😆
Oooh I loooooove Holst!!
It was the scale of grandeur necessary for such a long video 😆
Which video was the one where you picked out your one favorite item in every category? I can't seem to find it. Thank you in advance!
It's coming out tomorrow! 😄
Maybe ‘the one’ is a trick of the mind that just gets moved around to different catagories.
I'm sure that it is! There's always a new "one"!
One narrative that really needs to be dumped is, you have to pay more for quality/buy cheap, buy twice/ if it’s free, it’s probably worth what you paid for it.
For one thing, there are lots of expensive designer pieces that are utter tat. For another, there are some cheap pieces that are good quality. This is of course particularly true of second hand, but even retail. I bought a cheap men’s cotton jumper retail for myself - £8 - over a decade ago, and it’s still looking fantastic. Plus two Ralph Lauren cotton sweaters I got for £4 each that are excellent quality and are lasting well. Yes, buy good quality, but that doesn’t necessarily mean paying more. And paying more doesn’t guarantee high quality.
I 100% agree with this! It's one of those things where I know the facts (and also have thrifted two Ralph Lauren cotten sweaters! and jeans too), but the narrative is still floating around as a "justifier" if that makes sense. So on the odd occasion where I "want to buy something that's probably too expensive" it comes up in my mind as something I've been "told" a thousand times. I'm not going to "fall for" a bad quality expensive purchase though, and when I can, I'll look for things secondhand first, even if it's "new" (currently in production) - although that can backfire if it turns out to be expensive, unexpectedly poor quality, and secondhand i.e. not returnable.
It does also seem to often be the case that cheap men's clothing holds up better than cheap women's clothes - I think there's still the sexist narratives out there that more women WILL pay more in search of quality, so companies know they can produce multiple price points and quality levels, to upsell women, which is actually kind of infuriating to think about.
@ yes! When I bought my £8 men’s jumper, there was an almost identical one on the women’s side of the shop - for £16. They charge us more because they think they can get away with it. And to some extent, they can.
Maybe, just maybe that is what Christmas ( and Birthdays) are for? We can finally and without too much shame or loss of will power get what we have really wanted!
Yes! I'm pretty much of that opinion, however I do want to make sure things don't go overboard this time around!
Put an hourly rate on your time based on how much you earn from working. You have spent more than $500 thinking about the jeans.
It’s ok to allot yourself some fun money in a year and to budget it how you want-on a great pair of jeans or coat or whatever. Even save the budget from year to year and holidays and birthdays, etc. And then spend it responsibly on something you will likely use/enjoy, but which doesn’t have to be justified with a cost/wear or some other metric other than enjoyment.
Also, basics should be your best things. So if those jeans sing, buy them and enjoy wearing them all the time. I think you should devote time to actually seeing if they suit you or not. This could all be a moot point if they aren’t right. Or, you could try them and love them even more than you thought.
What you are doing with all the theorizing feels like app dating with too many messages back and forth. “Meet” those jeans ASAP so you can be more realistic in your desires.
Your channel is fab. I love the commentary and wish we could be friends irl. If we were, I’d tell you to stop overthinking this particular issue. 😉 I would have similar advice were you still in dating days.
Oh the hourly rate is tricky for me, I've worked at rates anywhere from $9/hour to $100/hour in my adult life (and I guess even less/hour if UA-cam income counts!) so it's hard to know "which rate" is the most relevant for me when thinking about the time!
I will absolutely be doing a budget for "fun spending" next year, and that will probably be a big feature on this channel. I made the mistake of thinking I could successfully "no buy" this year, and therefore did not set a budget to track and lacked that extremely important parameter!
Will probably be "meeting" the jeans soon though... thankfully I sneaked into the last of the "not-online-dating" group, I think I'd probably struggle with wasting time meeting too many people if I was able to connect online - then again I'd probably develop some kind of screening process for who to actually meet if I was dealing with that kind of dating medium 👀 would help to have friends like you to help navigate that though!
I'm too poor to be watching this.
I think no matter how rich/poor we are at any given point, we are still capable of "wanting," and sometimes expensive things still might come across our radar - but I do understand if you'd rather not be subjected to this kind of discussion
I think that people who get mad about someone else buying a pair of $500 jeans are motivated by envy. Everything is relative. Some people pay thousands on vacations, on their 1 years olds birthday party, on a speed boat, the latest iPhone, or on a special day out. It's up to you what you consider valuable to you. I really get irritated that people want to throw shame on you for that. I have an expensive pair of jeans - actually a similar shape to the Tibi ones and they are my most worn. I adore them, I feel great when I wear them, they are extremely versatile and have become an integral part of my signature look. As far as I'm concerned, that's my hard earned money well spent and I have no desire for another pair. Why should you have to justify your decision to receive a gift of an expensive pair of jeans? Let's drop the condemnation please.
This is an interesting take, that I appreciate! And totally agree about how everyone's got their own "things" they're willing to prioritize or spend more money on.
There is an element of "this(fashion) is what I like" in why I think it's okay to buy expensive clothes sometimes, for sure, but part of me also wonders how much of that is just a narrative I picked up from marketing, influencers, and our general consumer environment vs. what is actually inherent to my interests, what would I think if I'd had less influence? Would I still be as into "fashion" - and if so, would it look different and involve less "wanting and buying" stuff, less shopping? My next video is going to be a chat about this actually 😄
But I do also think that some people out there legitimately don't spend a lot on "non-essentials" - and while I am clearly not one of those people right now, I am also curious about if it's possible (and/or desirable) to become more like that, and what that would look like too! I probably will end up getting these pants, spoiler alert, but, I will also continue exploring the other sides of it!
Hi Alexa, when you talk, so often add some "explanatory" or additionnal text comment on the screen. Can I ask that you leave the "explanatory" text blups in the screen a bit longer? I often have to stop the video or return to read the text (maybe I'm just slow or just focusing on what you're saying and then have to read and listen at the same time, I don't know, but I'm might be something you can consider. Thank you!
I'll try! I also want to get to the point of not having so many text inserts - I've also had requests to upload audio as a podcast, and that's not going to be possible until I manage to escape the clarifications 😆
But noted, and thank you!
OMGoodness and the experiences is more valuable than stuff theory… yet another selling point and oh yes… just let me bore you with our travel plans and won’t it be wonderful for us 😕🤣
Yes I've seen WAY too many "pack with me for this trip," "a week in a suitcase", "carry-on only vacation," "travel essentials you NEED" videos...it can be so unrealistic for most people who have to juggle vacation time from work, possibly partners' and kids schedules, as well as just having the budget to go on trips multiple times a year.
Not to mention the dreaded sponsored segments from the suitcase company, or some travel-friendly cosmetics, AG1, or whatever else 🥲
For G's sake, just buy those jeans! Lol
😆
Maybe there will be cheaper but acceptable knock offs in the future?
It's possible! All the alternative versions I've seen so far seem to be shorter, which is one of my main problems with pants sizing.
I do think people use their interest in makeup and fashion to justify buying obscene amount of things. If you are interested in makeup I think applying makeup is the thing that interest you not buying it. Same for fashion. I would think interest in fashion would mean you study fashion, follow it, and maybe learn to appreciate clothes.
That's an interesting train of thought! I'm definitely not interested enough in makeup to spend time applying it "for fun", and not buying makeup this year has actually proven to be pretty easy. I don't think I'm interested enough to study fashion, at least not over my current career/study of music...but, I don't know if that's a case of having more than one interest and just choosing the top priority, or if I'm really not that interested in fashion.
Something for me to think about. I have found that my slight preference right now is to not actively seek out or dwell on the developments I see in fashion, new trends, runway looks, etc, because I'd rather not look at all the "stuff" and be tempted to add a new "look" to my own wardrobe...because I feel like I'd want to engage in that way if I did.
Edited to add - I definitely do that with music, if I hear a song I like, I really want to play it (and usually do), even if it's not originally for my instrument or genre.
Didn’t your no- buy year end in Oct? Are you continuing or extending it through 2025? For some reason I thought it was Oct23-Oct24
I thought it started in early 2024. The oldest videos on this channel are from Jan 2024, so we both got it wrong. On the other hand, she bought some things that were supposed to be part of the no buy. I hope she sticks to some kind of low buy and doesn't go to opposite extreme
(insert cash gun clip here)
(if you understand German: also insert Deichkind - Drucker)
You might be thinking of Gemma Maclean, if you watch her videos? She started a no buy in October last year, I think and recently posted a video about her no buy being complete!
I 100% intend to continue "project no buy/low buy" because what this current experience is teaching me, is that one year of trying this is not enough to change my habits and mindset as much as I want to!
I initially had "no buy exceptions" for holidays, as in, gifts - but I didn't specify rules for how many gifts or how much $, so next year I'll have to have all of that figured out a bit better (maybe based on what happens this year).
You will always walk around in these jeans knowing you paid 400+ which will probably bring guilt and not true joy. When we get a great deal, that’s when we feel great about our purchase.
Ooh that's an interesting take. I do have other "expensive" pieces (not a good deal) that have brought real joy and continued appreciation, as well as pieces I thrifted for a "deal" that tend to be more utilitarian, but I'm definitely not mad about getting a deal. I'll keep thinking about this!
take out pair of jeans from wardrobe.... idolise them into being twice as good as the 500 credits.... money is time and treasuring what we have is time well spent xx (I have)
Ooh - I wonder if I can do this! One of my videos this week is the "if I could only keep one" in my current wardrobe categories, which is kind of trying to appreciate what I have. I'll think about doing this more specifically with the jeans - when I filmed that I was still in the mindset of "the ones I want would be the 'ones'"
Aren't those the leather bottega 'jeans'
I have no idea! I saw multiple pairs of bottega veneta jeans pop up in the $6,800-$7,000 price range, so there may be different styles and materials that they make - I'll consider it a good sign that I'm not up with the trends enough anymore to know about leather jeans 😅
I have a lot of thoughts, to the point of not being to spell them out in my nowhere-near-native English. So I’ll tackle the most simple and the least deep one: I’m not bothered by the price tag, but I am scandalized by your take that these are practical everyday jeans. I mean, come on, Alexa! Where your Brancusi have a reasonable, manageable amount of excess fabric, Sids are over-the-top, they’re like made for four decent-sized legs, that’s not your “basics”, not your heavy-duty piece. Sure, you may enjoy this silhouette, and they may be comfortable enough to wear for a day, easy to style, but that’s not “everyday”, they’re too ridiculous for that, not visually but in terms of construction. And these snaps for adjusting, they say it’s a customer request (read: originally the pants sweep the floor) and they don’t show them in action, so I wonder how do these change the whole look. Anyway, as for me, it’s perfectly fine if you want them and get them, but them being “if I could only keep one”? Our strong desires are neither purely rational nor they need to be this way. There are so many crazy but still perfectly okay reasons to want something, but I’m wowed by your stressing the practicality where there clearly is none. (I own a pair of crazy wideleg jeans, and while I sometimes get in the mood of wearing them for days in a row, I eventually get tired of this stupid amount of denim dangling around my legs, so that’s where I’m coming from ))
I guess my question about this is, what if I was someone who dressed in a somewhat ridiculous way everyday, would they then be everyday jeans? Not saying I currently do that, but I actually did used to dress more outlandishly, and wouldn't be opposed to, or I should say, kind of WANT to be more "dramatic" with what I generally wear, hence these being my imagined "ideal everyday jeans".
I've also been looking at Japanese "tobi" pants, which are super excessive in fabric too, and I might eventually replace some of my sweatpants with a wide leg pair. A few of my pants have been getting too tight, is what sparked the other searches - not planning to go forward or spend more time on any of the other ideas until after no-buy, but these jeans might be a Christmas present which is why they're being subjected to the increased scrutiny of why I want them/if they're a reasonable gift.
I also highly doubt they'll sweep the floor on me as usually I have the opposite problem with pants, but it is one of the contingencies for keeping if I end up ordering - the fit would have to be absolutely perfect, or they'll be sent back.
I had a pair of more standard wide-leg jeans a few years ago and they were nowhere near wide enough for me! I was disappointed that they looked very "standard" and normal. This might also be adding to my feeling that while they might look ridiculous on a "normal person", I feel like they won't on me or for my tastes. I'm getting tired of the feeling of tighter/normal amounts of denim around my lower half, in other words 😆
I could be wrong about all of this! And I appreciate your comment making me think about this more.
@ Oh no, I didn’t mean looking ridiculous, nothing about the look! Just the feel of it. I doubt it can be comfortable to have so much denim hanging down from the hips (sweatpants is a different story). But of course I could be wrong too, I may be completely idiosyncratic with this and they’d be cozy for you. And you’re most likely right about the length: for example, the aforementioned wideleg jeans are like slightly cropped on my (same as your height) self, not touching my feet, and I’m pretty sure they’re full length
Omg are you also a capricorn? lol
Aquarius! 😄
You are struggling so hard to defend you buying expensive things. Why don't could simply say: It is okay that I buy expensive things, because I can afford it. Even if it is just a piece of cotton.
I could do that, and it would be simpler! But that's just not in my nature 😆
My brain always wants to know "why?" Why do I want these in the first place? Why do I think it's okay even though they're expensive? How can I ensure that this doesn't mean I'm going back towards being "obsessed" with material things? Can I actually afford it, if my savings aren't as high as they should be? And all the questions...
Not trying to be overly critical, but considering Levis to be average and 50 dollar sounds really out of touch. Maybe it’s just the US (not sure, I’m European) but Levis are already nice jeans here. Not overly fancy, but not average lower price jeans.
I really appreciate what you said in theory, I basically agree with every point. But this consumerism is so incredibly American, I’ve never heard someone even considering 500$ jeans in France.
Levi’s have cut so many corners in their quality and materials, as well as production processes over the years that they definitely no longer hold a reputation for being nice quality. And their fits are atrocious for anyone curvy- even when I’ve tried tailoring them they look off. The feelings of self-consciousness, discomfort, and knowing that someone else’s labor is being exploited and undervalued by buying Levis to me are not worth their lower price tag.
@ I don’t really own Levis so I wasn’t commenting on the quality (very interesting to know that it went downhill), I was more commenting on how much money for a pair of jeans is average here.
I agree! I thought I put some text in-video to clarify (maybe I forgot, or maybe people just listening wouldn't see that!) that I have not purchased new levis recently (not sure if I ever have for myself, actually) and because I thrifted mine for $5-10 I didn't realize they were $98USD right now. So yes, I was out of touch!
Not sure if you know this either already, but I used to live in New Zealand, where Levis were pretty much a "designer brand" for jeans and cost over $150NZD new. They also typically wouldn't be at the op-shops/thrift stores. I wasn't thinking about this when I made this video but I do know kind of the mentality you're coming from!
Having moved back to America and lived here for most of my life overall, I guess I can't help but "be American" again, through just existing in this environment - even as someone trying to change their consumer habits. Your comment is a helpful reminder to actually remember how things did feel different in NZ, which might actually help me reshape my approach in a more "natural" way.
EDITED TO ADD: according to a search for "average price of jeans in 2024" I get results from a few journals saying the average is anywhere from $157-174 USD, and a number of Reddit threads do say they buy levis for $40-80 new but on sale. I haven't had a chance to get deep into the locations/data of this as a whole, I'm sure it's wildly skewed and I don't add this as to be a "logical argument," but just a kind of explanation for where I got this American mentality - it appears that it isn't just me!
@ Oh this was such interesting insight, I’m a fairly new viewer so I had no idea you had lived in NZ. Sorry if there was edited text, I listened to this as a podcast ^^’
The edit is also so interesting and so wild to me, I guess I was also very out of touch with the average American, oops. I don’t have the same stat for France, but in 2017 people said that a « normal price » for jeans was 50€.
I keep,thinking - you have a baby and two toddlers! Putting one foot in front of another is a win. Yes, yes, at this time, for spending to “ get things done,” and researching for the best, best option is not worth the time away from your kids, even if it’s just mental energy.
You know, on some level this may end up being the mentality of getting the pants as my "big Christmas gift" this year, it gets THAT done at least😆
But I do feel like I'm learning by reflecting on the thoughts and feelings that it stirs up! And the wonderful thing about doing it in video format like this, is for the most part I DON'T end up ruminating on it over the course of the day - I save it to thrash out on "recording day"!
@ I truly am amazed at all you can get done with a baby and toddlers. I really am. Like, I’m serious, I didn’t have time to pee. How do you do it?
@CAGChannel1 I am extremely lucky in that I live with my in-laws - multigenerational childcare! Most of my YT stuff is done after bedtime, and my inlaws watch the kids when I go to my actual job part time.
Pearson in me wont 500 dolar perfume😂
You understand it! 😅
I don't understand. Were those jeans on your "allowed to buy" list from the beginning? If not, what is the point of doing a no buy year? It's not an impulse buy which could happen. You are clearly planning to buy this pair of jeans and trying to justify this purchase. I mean, if buying them was in your rules for this year, that is fine and you don't need to explain yourself. If not, then I am really surprised and a little disappointed. Also, listening you talking, for an hour, about buying jeans ( during your no buy year ) feels strange...
One of the advices to avoid impulse buys is to wait some time and keep a wish list. So far she only talked about it, but the wish didn't completely go away so far, so it wouldn't be a real impulse buy any more. For my taste, 500$ is a bit excessive for a pair of Jeans but I can relate to permanently overthinking wishes and pushing them up and down the list.
But there's a reason to keep some items on the wish list, maybe forever:
There's a poem of Wilhelm Busch about wishes that ends with the message that wishes get children as soon as they are fulfilled.
Yes I 100% agree with how it's strange to talk about for an hour during a no buy year! That's why I left my pinned comment about how this video might make people mad 😅
The overall purpose of this video is not for me to justify the purchase, although that is kind of the "script" - but to open the window into my mind of all the ways of "justifying" that I've picked up (mainly through consuming content), or, the consumer narratives in society that push us to justify the things we want. Now I'm able to observe these things happening in my mind rather than just more subconsciously wanting and buying things. It doesn't really answer the question of "will I buy this", and in some ways feels like "a step back" in progress, but on the other hand the awareness is massively different than it was for me in years past where I might have just bought the jeans without telling ANYONE, and not acknowledged the price at all (beyond in my own financial picture, obviously).
I did "allow" holiday gifts during my no buy year. However I did not specify how many items or how much money was okay to spend on Christmas/birthday gifts. And now I'm running into a bit of difficulty managing the "things I might want" and "what is reasonable for Christmas/birthday gifting".
Thank you for being so REAL and HONEST and VULNERABLE!!! Exactly the kind of No Buy / Conscious consumption / finance content I've been looking for. My weaknesses are clothes and jigsaw puzzles 🧩
Ooh puzzles are great fun. Clothes are definitely my #1 weakness and I am continuing to dive deep with the questions that come next, for example
"why do I want clothing?"
"what do I actually think I'm buying?"
"why do influencers seem to care so much about showing us the trends?"
(not just to sell their audiences stuff, which is part of it, but it seems to be part of "loving fashion!") and a few more, to be explored in some later videos.