Turns out conventional wisdom is correct. If you like someone, do the same things they do and be the same places they are.......just not in a creepy way.
A friend asked me if I preferred older or younger women. I said probably slightly younger. But my wife is slightly older. So he said I must prefer older women....No. This is just one tiny, mostly irrelevant detail, which really doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things.
that's true but I have found the more you can accept yourself, the more likely your status is to change. So find a substitute for your 'negative' descriptors that is more positive. The more negative you are towards yourself, the more negative those around you will be to you.
That's something I noticed in myself a while ago too. I never believed that the concept of a more attractive "type" applied to me because I found so many different people attractive. Yes, there were specific qualities that I would like in my ideal man, but in reality, none of those ideals has ever been truly fulfilled when I would date someone. I just came to the conclusion that looks really don't matter to me, even though it might influence how comfortable I am with approaching someone. Then again, I try to look at things more realistically and my ideal man is not realistic (I mean, some people could fit those criteria but I wouldn't have the gall to approach them). So I wonder how this theory applies to me.
My boyfriend didn't immediately hit all the boxes that I thought were my visual type (bu I was drunk and swiped right. definitely the story to tell our future children lmao) and now nearly a year later I realize he basically matches my favorite love interest tropes in novels and I am thoroughly offended by this revelation.
I found that there are no traits that can successfully predict if I will like somebody. There are only things that accurately predict that I won’t like somebody, sort of red flags
You probably are...? Dress nicely, groom well, make an effort to talk to lots of people (even those outside your sexual orientation, because they can introduce you to their single friends that you actually might be interested in), be halfway decent, don't take things too seriously, and you'll be just fine. Cheers.
Me and my friends were discussing this yesterday and we figured that "type" is something that only really applies to celebrity crushes because it's such a purely superficial measurement. Once you actually interact with a person it gets utterly overridden by other factors. Cool that the research agrees with us ;)
Yeah that makes sense, i mean it's easy to label a person or categorize them as a certain type, but humans are just so much more complex than our favorite written actor / actress will ever be.
I have a friend who had a crush on a celebrity, then actually met him and was not attracted, and it wasn't that he was a jerk or looked bad in person or created a negative impression in any way. He was perfectly nice and looked exactly as she'd expected, she just wasn't into him face to face. No specific reason, it just wasn't there.
@@Dutchandfrench yes!! When he said if you experience "romantic or sexual attraction" my asexual heart got happy (glad that he gave a shout-out to my aromantic siblings as well)
@@quicksilver0294 😳 Because they still have types. Asexual people can have types of people they want to be in a romantic relationship with, and aromantic people can have types they want to be in a sexual relationship with
@@LiquidDiamondFlute that's why he said or, if you are asexual but you want to be in a romantic relationship it applies to you and if you are not romantic but feel sexual attraction then it applies to you, if you are neither it doesn't apply, that's it 🤦🏻♀️
SHOOTING STAR AND ROUNDABOUT are amazing songs, regardless of they're meme status. Rick Astley's song is pretty good, too. But not Darude. Darude Sandstorm is one of the last songs I'd ever choose to listen to (this says nothing about people who like it, though. You do you.)
Yeah pretty much confirms what I always believed. You absolutely can have a type, I do experience more immediate attraction to people that kinda fit my type, but I still sometimes find people that are not my type way more attractive than those that necessarily fit the criteria I have construed for myself and in the end, I know that it comes down way more to personality.
Krystof Dayne I honestly stopped saying I have a type as I’ve gotten older, because I realize for me it seems to be almost entirely individual person in person basis. I do think I place a large emphasis on personality, but also I really need physical attraction and I notice and can be heavily attracted to men who look very different from each other. The only expection is that I don’t think I like anyone who looks too much like me for some reason, it creeps me out.
2:17 I must disagree. I'd be willing to bet up to $700 USD that I spend less time looking at my face throughout the course of a year, than I spend looking at anyone else's face (such as yours, Hank, you sexy, sexy man! ME-OW!)
When you say type do you mean appearance or character traits? Because my husband doesn't meat my "type" as far as appearances go (checks only a couple of boxes) but checks all the boxes for what I want from a man when it comes to character.
I think type here is just physical appearance. Regardless, the whole point of this video is that type doesn't matter because there's too many other factors involved.
Luka Jovanovski As long as you try hard and believe in yourself, everything will work out. You’re on your path to love ❤️. Just a few more weeks in your basement
Having a low libido and no interest in companionship isn't normal for healthy adults. It could be a sign something is wrong your health or mental health issues.
Of course its unhealthy to not want companionship of some kind. But that's not what being asexual is, being asexual is simply not being sexually attracted to people and thus not wanting sexual relationships.
Your type changes so much depending on where you live. I grew up in the Middle East, so my "type" are men with dark hair and dark eyes, but after living in Scandinavia for a few years, I started to prefer blond and blue-eyed men. You are just attracted to what is familiar to you.
I agree because I too like people who look similar to me, plus sometimes asians. But on the other hand, men tend to like 'exotic' blue eyed blondes especially if they look different themselves
I'm only really attracted to noodly, skinny guys with face scruff and usually light hair (like Hank Green for example) and I think it comes down to when I was a kid, the only good dads I ever met fit that description. I have bad experiences with super macho and masculine men, and I find that less and less I find those features attractive. But stepping out of my comfort zone and dating other types of guys than 'my type' I do end up permanently adding new features and traits to what I look for. Dated a bald guy and now I am much more open to men with less hair, so on and so forth. It's a learned process.
4:40 Hank: ... Because your perfect partner might be nothing...(1 second of silence) Me: *cries in loneliness* Hank:... Of what you expect Me: *clearing the tears on my face*
I have NEVER been able to discern my "type" .... People will be like "well what do you look for in someone?" And I'm just like bruh idc?? I care more about how they act than what they look like..
Comparing what someone says they're attracted to with the person they end up with doesn't seem like a good test. You could be more attracted to other people that you're not dating, _but they aren't attracted to you._
Boy am I living proof of that to some degree! Physically I always said my type was someone taller with black hair and blue or hazel eyes, effeminate with pale skin. I wanted them to be witty, compassionate, creative, etc and so forth. My husband almost exactly fit my ideal personality, but he only has the dark hair and he's shorter than my usual tastes. XD He's also tan skinned, brown eyed, hairy like a bear with a big bushy beard, but boy did that personality of his sweep me off my feet. Love my hubby
Yeah it seems like the research about types focuses on things like appearance and income, but maybe those are just easier to research. Personality seems like a more important preference.
@@praskovyakrylova1712 No, not even then. I've been with my husband for 17 years. I've seen other men, and I mentally shut them out. I do not believe in cheating. I find it morally wrong. My husband is a wonderful man. He's good to me. He's good to our child. He works hard and is full of love and respect. I will not do anything to shatter the beautiful relationship we have with each other, and I think it's horrible to suggest otherwise.
I would really like to see a study done on how the dynamic of being attracted to certain people but only being able to attract a certain - entirely different - kind of person works. For example: Someone might be attracted to jocks, but they only manage to attract nerds. I'm sure it can be explained relatively easily but I'm interested in the details of how such interactions work. Personality wise, I've always found myself attracted to intellect, responsibility and creativity. Appearance wise, I tend to fall for alternative, metalhead guys with long hair, piercings, and scruffy facial hair. My biggest issue is that these two things are rare to mix X)) And I have a habit of attracting the stereotype that is "30 year old DnD nerds that live in their mother's basement." Guess that says a lot about my own personality XD
I've never really had a "type" because I think if you meet someone and have chemistry with them that overrides any sort of preconceived notions you've created.
As a ginger guy I can tell you, types don't matter. People who come to me and say "I love gingers" are most often the most superficial people I ever dated or too "starstruck" to even be themselves, which is just a pity.
Using the language of "people who experience romantic/sexual attraction" makes me feel included in this conversation right away! Often informational videos like this don't include my little asexual butt and I feel like someone watching through a window. Thank you so much!!
Before I came into the picture, my boyfriend dated petite, light haired women and yet here I am, a tall & curvy woman with dark hair. 🤷🏻♀️ types DO go out the window when you meet someone 😂
My type did matter to me in a way. I liked how the average nordic guy looks. Maybe cause I'm from a Mediterranean country and they're "exotic" in comparison. 🤔 Lo and behold, I'm dating a Swedish guy now.
Overlaps in preferences with friends, need to be studied more, it might also be that you are more likley to become a friend of a person who has more preferences in commmon with you.
my type actually matters but it's super broad.(im bi so) slightly masculine girls, feminine guys, and they need to be a healthy weight, not be a douchebag, and have some similar interests we can bond over. they also need to respect animals, because i love animals
Definitely me, spent most of my life trying to find my type of 'guy' and then turned out I was willing to change my standards much more quickly when it came to a special gal.
@Magilvia Max The passion shouldn't fade if you know how to keep it alive. Of course it won't be like in the beginning on the relationship but you have to keep that spark, never let it die. You have to get along and do things together but if you let the passion die it's over. I've been married for almost 15 years now, I know what I'm talking about.
When I was younger I wanted to date a brown haired, blue eyed, Christian man who would be as smart or smarter than me. I also wanted him to be kind and nice and treat me properly. I ended up with a black haired, brown skinned, genderfluid Muslim who Challenges me intellectually. He also treats me nice and very kindly. Emotional traits trump physical traits any day for me. I've made several life changes throughout my life (namely accepting that I'm LGBT and non-religious) and he has supported me through all of it. He wasn't my ideal type physically, but emotionally he has satisfied me beyond expectations
Used to like busty readheads, and mexicans to a lesser extent, who were kind and sweet. Then I met my girlfriend in college. She is Hispanic and a bit on the small side with black hair, but as I got to know her more as a friend and realized she had all the personality traits I had imagined, the more she became my type. 3 years later, she is still the most beautiful women I have ever seen and I couldn't care less about redheads or busty women.
I also think your “type” is your ideal partner - so who you end up with very well not be that ideal type, because you need to settle for someone more realistic.
I don't think it is necessarily settling; attraction is much more complex than we realize. "Out types" aren't complex, they fit certain criteria appearance-wise and character-wise, but they are one-dimensional beings, they don't have dreams or quirks, they aren't hurt or happy, they're an idea rather than a being. Ideas don't make us feel, they aren't tangible, they lack warmth and reaction. It's proven that we're attracted to familiarity, which may be the reason why people seem to date within their race, that's what they're accustomed to seeing, that's probably what their family looks like and the ambiance in which they develop and the people they do so with may look similar to them. The point is: attraction is complex, unpredictable, we don't settle but rather our concept of what is attractive, what is desirable does change along with time and space.
I definitely have a favorite personality type. I like people who are more nerdy, even if it is a fictional character. I am more likely to say they are my favorite character if they are nerdy than if they are an attractive or sporty character.
Yea see he didn't mention the fact that your perfect type on paper may also be like finding a flawless diamond, or may not even exist. Also he seemed to be focusing only on looks and that only accounts for about half or less in what you find attractive. Because I think everyone met a person they thought was a smoke bomb until they started talking and you seen their personality come out and you were like whomp whomp, even if they like you
I feel like this would also have to do with hobby preferences too, which of course can affect personality types but not always. Someone can be nerdy and sporty at the same time
It always hits a nerve when "facial symmetry" is listed as a factor in attractiveness, because my face is distinctly asymmetrical, and I guess that's why I am rarely asked out. Then again, the asymmetry is a result of a very bad, often-fatal genetic disorder, so I need to be taken out of the gene pool anyway. I guess that's exactly why we've evolved to find facial symmetry attractive in a mate.
It's true that humans are predisposed to like symmetry, but that doesn't mean that nobody will ever find you attractive! At the very least try not to let it get you down too much. And that thing about "needing to be taken out of the gene pool"? We're humans. We're notorious for perpetuating genes and keeping people alive who if we were animals? would have been selected against. But we're humans, so we (ideally) try to give everyone the best chance we can at living a long life and perpetuating their genes (if they want to).
Asymmetry can also make people uniquely beautiful. Adam driver has an asymmetrical jaw and funny ears but he's still a beautiful man. We all just need to find someone that appreciates our uniqueness.
I actually find facial symmetry less attractive because I struggle to remember faces and the more symmetrical and "normal" they are, the harder it is to keep track of them. That's probably why several of the people I've made friends with have stuff like piercings, dyed hair, scars, so forth; my last girlfriend had an eyepatch, it looked badass and I didn't get her mixed up with anyone else. sorry if this sounds weird or creepy
Just use an AI to know exactly what is your type Combine it with Google Maps and Instagram, and you got here a geographical match finder Sounds like Tinder, doesn't it?
When are you guys gonna talk about the HUGE 2018 metastudy on the placebo effect?! This is REALLY REALLY important and nobody seems to be talking about it.
Doesn't matter how attracted you are to someone. If they can't commit to a relationship for a few months with you, you're better off finding a "less attractive" human. Or you know, be single for a while..
Raised on the west coast, now living in the south with a large Black and Korean population. Unfortunately, unless your name is Chadwick Boseman, I don't usually find Black guys attractive. I know this is in part because I was raised around a really white culture, so most times I prefer white guys. Also, I'm white/Hispanic. Just can't help but think if I had a bigger cultural scope growing up, my tastes would be a little more varied. However, I do find Asian guys super attractive for some reason, guess because they look exotic? However, I have a snowball's chance of ever dating one. Ya 'aint never seen a guy like that with a curvy Latina on his arm! Not happening. I'll never get my IRL Tuxedo Mask! 😒😭😭😒 Aside from race, besides high cheekbones, my tastes surprise me. I find Shane from Buzzfeed really cute, even though he's not conventionally hot. There's another guy, but can't think of his name right now. Also, I love staring at Taylor Kitsch and his voice slays me. Prime example of my type. Was recently disheartened to learn he's got an almost 10 year girlfriend.
I don't know why I'm watching this, but I'm so thankful for the first sentence, the first few words. "IF you experience romantic or sexual attraction" implying there are people who don't, like me, I'm ace.I'm just here because of the youtube rabbit hole of recommended videos just playing
I always felt like my "type" is just a congruent style. Like, the exact look of the person doesn't really matter as long as it all kinda matches. Some styles match some body features or character types better, and matching those makes you more attractice in my opinion.
This comment section looks like a gathering of sad and gloomy people that don t believe in their own beauty and to be honest it bugs me a lot.....If you don t like yourself don t expect others to like you BAKAAA. I am beautiful (not just on the inside :)) ) and I like the way I look I just needed a bit of time to realise that I am actually hot .... I m just saying , look into the mirror and find your qualities don t pretend that you belong to a freak show ...
I tried a few times to figure out what all my exes and unreciprocated crushes all had in common and failed. My "type" is on an I-know-it-when-I-see-it basis.
Jokes on you, I'm a sad isolated individual who pushes relationships away out of fear that others discover what kind of selfish useless garbage of a person I really am.
It matters definitely I've tried to be with people that I don't find attractive that are not my type and it just didn't work out it's like eating your lease favorite food against your will...
Hahaha my preference confuses my mom, she keeps trying to convince me a certain type of person is attractive but I don't see it. I find the opposite attractive lol so family and friends have no influence on my type.
and thats why you usually define your type based on past relationships. thats when you realizes you like certain things and they usually reflect things about you, and not specially about who you're atracted to
I don’t know that I have a type, other than that I prefer brunettes and redheads over blondes and wirey or athletic over bulked up or adipose. Gender, reproductive organs, ethnicity, and height I could care less about
I never date the same kind of person. Whats that say about me? One was super liberal and into his native heritage. One was Spanish and drank to much. One was goofy loud and friendly and Irish as all hell. One was a shut in with dominican heritage... It means I like no one I think 😂 one thing most have in common is theyre like 10 years older than me.
Did you even watch the video? Going by types isn't a thing when it comes to real life dating. The abstract concept of being asked what a type is makes it easy for people to develop all kinds of arbitrary standards for their potential partner but once they're actually in a situation where they meet a person they find attractive there are far more factors you can't think of when someone asks for your type so they adjust their type on the spot to be whatever person they find attractive right then and there. It's a rationalization. The fact that you had different partners just means you're a completely normal person. All of them being +10years older than you might point to daddy issues though lol.
@@edge21str I watched the video... but everyone CLAIMS a type. I do not. My question is more about why do I not have a type even when thinking of "my type" What makes my thought process different. I guess my "type" is more about morals than looks and personality. Someone can say "I prefer heavy guys" and date a skinny guy. I never had a type to change in my head to match the person like most people.
Also I dont have daddy issues btw... I think I date 10 years older because most men in their 20s are more immature than I. But that's the only trait the guys share. Btw they usually end up Still acting like 14yo at 30+
@@kyarylevay1472 The daddy issues thing was a joke. It's not like everyone claims a type, you're not unique. But yeah, in the western world there's this concept of having a type and most people conform to holding that believe. All this stuff is just my opinion of course but I think you're either just more self aware than most people or you're worse at picking up social ques and don't know how or don't want to conform.
How come I don't like mirrors? My dad doesn't either. For me it feels like my sense of environment is distorted since I am seeing things behind me and my brain is saying I shouldn't be able to do that
There's this thing in psychology that focuses on visual/prism adjustment, which basically means that the average human being can comfortably adjust to different orientations of their surroundings (like if you wear goggles that shifts everything to the left by 3 in. you would eventually be able to comfortably adjust to it). There's a famous experiment where a man wore goggles that made everything upside down and he eventually perfectly adjusted to it, although we are still not sure why/how this happens. It sounds like the brain processes that enable this for you and your father are funky, but it's okay because everyone is different. :D
all i had to do to be attractive was show up to class???
Michelle F
stay in school kids
Turns out conventional wisdom is correct. If you like someone, do the same things they do and be the same places they are.......just not in a creepy way.
@@michaelharder9737 Yeah, because then it would be stalking.
Didn't work for me. 😂
@@michaelharder9737 IKR?!
A friend asked me if I preferred older or younger women. I said probably slightly younger. But my wife is slightly older. So he said I must prefer older women....No. This is just one tiny, mostly irrelevant detail, which really doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things.
All that these Valentine’s Day videos do is make lonely weebs like myself cringe at our very existence
Evariste Galois it's ok, we can cringe together...... but 1000 miles apart :(
that's true but I have found the more you can accept yourself, the more likely your status is to change. So find a substitute for your 'negative' descriptors that is more positive. The more negative you are towards yourself, the more negative those around you will be to you.
Evariste Galois I see nothing wrong with this
@@SevCaswell you god damn right
1 is the loneliest number. except maybe 29, which will be the number of consecutive years I'll have been alone on valentine's day, and I'm only 28.
I'm loving the ace and aro inclusive language!
My type: hyper-masculine submissive. I should thank my ex-boyfriend.
That's something I noticed in myself a while ago too. I never believed that the concept of a more attractive "type" applied to me because I found so many different people attractive. Yes, there were specific qualities that I would like in my ideal man, but in reality, none of those ideals has ever been truly fulfilled when I would date someone. I just came to the conclusion that looks really don't matter to me, even though it might influence how comfortable I am with approaching someone. Then again, I try to look at things more realistically and my ideal man is not realistic (I mean, some people could fit those criteria but I wouldn't have the gall to approach them). So I wonder how this theory applies to me.
My boyfriend didn't immediately hit all the boxes that I thought were my visual type (bu I was drunk and swiped right. definitely the story to tell our future children lmao) and now nearly a year later I realize he basically matches my favorite love interest tropes in novels and I am thoroughly offended by this revelation.
I always thought that “type” was a weird concept.
Hahhaah that closing line got my like... Giving relationship advice now
Lol nothing matters if you can't form relationships in the first place
Relationship first...
Ouch. I feel you dude
😂😂😭😂
Yeah.
Try personal hygiene
I found that there are no traits that can successfully predict if I will like somebody. There are only things that accurately predict that I won’t like somebody, sort of red flags
Exact same for me
You are so very special!
@Strangenesses The Person I’m a weirdo
@@bulldogmadhav5762
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't be long here
Use to be like that for me. Now I can judge attractiveness in a purely platonical and abstract manner (married)
I would love to be someone else's type
I bet you are :)
You probably are...? Dress nicely, groom well, make an effort to talk to lots of people (even those outside your sexual orientation, because they can introduce you to their single friends that you actually might be interested in), be halfway decent, don't take things too seriously, and you'll be just fine. Cheers.
i like wolves ;)
then go to class
With so many billions of people on the planet, I think it's literally impossible that you aren't
Me and my friends were discussing this yesterday and we figured that "type" is something that only really applies to celebrity crushes because it's such a purely superficial measurement. Once you actually interact with a person it gets utterly overridden by other factors. Cool that the research agrees with us ;)
Dunno, all the women I've been with looked like Snow White.
Pale skin, dark hair, blue eyes.
Yeah that makes sense, i mean it's easy to label a person or categorize them as a certain type, but humans are just so much more complex than our favorite written actor / actress will ever be.
I think my boyfriend is my type both physically and personality-wise
I have a friend who had a crush on a celebrity, then actually met him and was not attracted, and it wasn't that he was a jerk or looked bad in person or created a negative impression in any way. He was perfectly nice and looked exactly as she'd expected, she just wasn't into him face to face. No specific reason, it just wasn't there.
@@barbarusbloodshed6347 just that snow white has brown eyes, lol
"You and your BFF might not agree on every hottie at the bar" was the most dad thing I've heard Hank say LOL
Lol
Hank: "Because your perfect partner might be nothing..."
Me: "Sounds about right"
Hank: "...like you imagined"
Oh.
I had the same thought.
My type is EXTREMELY personality based. If they don't share my hobbies, interests, and world views, I'm just not interested.
@Jacob Johnson thats pretty rare though.
@Jacob Johnson girls being taller than me.
Arthiem yeah, I personally wouldn’t want to be with a girl or guy who are extremely conservative, and doesn’t believe in science.
They don't have to share hobbies to have a similiar personality. In fact, differences make things interesting.
@@Arthiem I love gardening, art, and positivity/kindness. Am I your type?
Tbh my type is just anybody who’ll take me
Even your mom?
@@praskovyakrylova1712 definitely
Yoikes
Awh😂😭
@@Momogamer9 Freud is QuAKiNG
I appreciate the LGBT inclusiveness of this video. Subtle, yet validating.
+
Yes!
+
Even the aro/ace inclusivity!
@@Dutchandfrench yes!! When he said if you experience "romantic or sexual attraction" my asexual heart got happy (glad that he gave a shout-out to my aromantic siblings as well)
“If you experience romantic or sexual attraction...” Thanks so much for acknowledging asexuality and aromanticism!
Yeah I noticed that 👍🏽 but then also why are you even watching this video?? 😂
@@quicksilver0294 😳 Because they still have types. Asexual people can have types of people they want to be in a romantic relationship with, and aromantic people can have types they want to be in a sexual relationship with
LiquidDiamondFlute yeee for example im asexual but i still want a gffffffff or bf but preferably gffffffff
@@LiquidDiamondFlute that's why he said or, if you are asexual but you want to be in a romantic relationship it applies to you and if you are not romantic but feel sexual attraction then it applies to you, if you are neither it doesn't apply, that's it 🤦🏻♀️
I was so happy hearing that. :)))
Lmao who told a scientist they weren’t his type and started all this research? 🤔
1:44 Oh, that's why I started listening to meme music unironically ...
SHOOTING STAR AND ROUNDABOUT are amazing songs, regardless of they're meme status. Rick Astley's song is pretty good, too. But not Darude. Darude Sandstorm is one of the last songs I'd ever choose to listen to (this says nothing about people who like it, though. You do you.)
🦀🦀🦀
Thats why i also started listening to anime op music
"But in the end, it doesn't even matter" - Linkin Park
R.I.P Chester
Literally what I was thinking
Flew into the comments searching for this haha
Too soon...
“I tried so hard”
Yeah pretty much confirms what I always believed. You absolutely can have a type, I do experience more immediate attraction to people that kinda fit my type, but I still sometimes find people that are not my type way more attractive than those that necessarily fit the criteria I have construed for myself and in the end, I know that it comes down way more to personality.
Krystof Dayne I honestly stopped saying I have a type as I’ve gotten older, because I realize for me it seems to be almost entirely individual person in person basis. I do think I place a large emphasis on personality, but also I really need physical attraction and I notice and can be heavily attracted to men who look very different from each other. The only expection is that I don’t think I like anyone who looks too much like me for some reason, it creeps me out.
2:17 I must disagree. I'd be willing to bet up to $700 USD that I spend less time looking at my face throughout the course of a year, than I spend looking at anyone else's face (such as yours, Hank, you sexy, sexy man! ME-OW!)
On the other hand I tend to see that hag in the mirror as fairly unattractive. I don't know what my sexy husband sees in her.
I've got the hots for Hank too....
@@Burlesqueteers Sounds like you're down for some Hanky-panky with Hank.
Me? I love Hank for his brain. His sweet, delicious brain (yes I'm a zombie)
Hank is the only person worth looking at
I agree, in fact the first 6 months in my new place I didn't have a single mirror
When you say type do you mean appearance or character traits? Because my husband doesn't meat my "type" as far as appearances go (checks only a couple of boxes) but checks all the boxes for what I want from a man when it comes to character.
It's the same with me and my boyfriend. Ultimately, I think personality characteristics matter more in a relationship
Same
You can only know somebody’s character through experiences. The “type” is more prejudicial.
I think type here is just physical appearance. Regardless, the whole point of this video is that type doesn't matter because there's too many other factors involved.
Same here.
i’m gonna stay in front of my crush for hours everyday and maybe at the end of the semestee he’ll find me attractive
Same buddy i already locked her up in my basement with pictures of me on every wall
@@lukajovanovski1178 😂
Luka Jovanovski
As long as you try hard and believe in yourself, everything will work out. You’re on your path to love ❤️. Just a few more weeks in your basement
Luka Jovanovski I am sure she will be moved by your determination
Thanks for the Ace appreciation in the intro :)
Made my heart flutter as well :)
also "because your perfect partner might be nothing" with an extra pause before "like what you imagined"
Having a low libido and no interest in companionship isn't normal for healthy adults. It could be a sign something is wrong your health or mental health issues.
NessieStatic people can be ace and be completely fine otherwise.
Of course its unhealthy to not want companionship of some kind. But that's not what being asexual is, being asexual is simply not being sexually attracted to people and thus not wanting sexual relationships.
The incarnation of boredom exactly! I have a wonderful friend who is aromantic and asexual but they’re a great friend and still enjoy companionship
Your type changes so much depending on where you live. I grew up in the Middle East, so my "type" are men with dark hair and dark eyes, but after living in Scandinavia for a few years, I started to prefer blond and blue-eyed men. You are just attracted to what is familiar to you.
I agree because I too like people who look similar to me, plus sometimes asians.
But on the other hand, men tend to like 'exotic' blue eyed blondes especially if they look different themselves
I'm only really attracted to noodly, skinny guys with face scruff and usually light hair (like Hank Green for example) and I think it comes down to when I was a kid, the only good dads I ever met fit that description. I have bad experiences with super macho and masculine men, and I find that less and less I find those features attractive. But stepping out of my comfort zone and dating other types of guys than 'my type' I do end up permanently adding new features and traits to what I look for. Dated a bald guy and now I am much more open to men with less hair, so on and so forth. It's a learned process.
Your type sounds like he'd look like Shaggy (from scooby doo) lol
@@anascarlet shaggy is exactly my type and this meme is the turning point where everyone sees in him what I saw all along *shed tear*
ZachsAnomaly ikr I find abs really unattractive
@@youvebeenpoisoned5018 You read my mind!
My type - someone I can have a real conversation with
Someone who doesn't say "like" Ten times every second
4:40
Hank: ... Because your perfect partner might be nothing...(1 second of silence)
Me: *cries in loneliness*
Hank:... Of what you expect
Me: *clearing the tears on my face*
There was a part of my brain that ended Hank's last sentence at "your perfect partner might be nothing." Checks out for me!
Yup.
I mean, he said "nothing like that," but the way he phrased it sounded like he was just saying you will have no partner
So my obsession with anime at a young age may have greatly impacted my attraction to guys with great hair
I have NEVER been able to discern my "type" .... People will be like "well what do you look for in someone?" And I'm just like bruh idc?? I care more about how they act than what they look like..
Comparing what someone says they're attracted to with the person they end up with doesn't seem like a good test. You could be more attracted to other people that you're not dating, _but they aren't attracted to you._
That's just depressing for the person they're dating
Boy am I living proof of that to some degree! Physically I always said my type was someone taller with black hair and blue or hazel eyes, effeminate with pale skin. I wanted them to be witty, compassionate, creative, etc and so forth. My husband almost exactly fit my ideal personality, but he only has the dark hair and he's shorter than my usual tastes. XD He's also tan skinned, brown eyed, hairy like a bear with a big bushy beard, but boy did that personality of his sweep me off my feet. Love my hubby
Yeah it seems like the research about types focuses on things like appearance and income, but maybe those are just easier to research. Personality seems like a more important preference.
Did you ever cheat?
@@kingkong8974 Why would I cheat? That's disgusting.
@@touchedvenus What if you meet your real ideal man?
@@praskovyakrylova1712 No, not even then. I've been with my husband for 17 years. I've seen other men, and I mentally shut them out. I do not believe in cheating. I find it morally wrong. My husband is a wonderful man. He's good to me. He's good to our child. He works hard and is full of love and respect. I will not do anything to shatter the beautiful relationship we have with each other, and I think it's horrible to suggest otherwise.
I would really like to see a study done on how the dynamic of being attracted to certain people but only being able to attract a certain - entirely different - kind of person works. For example: Someone might be attracted to jocks, but they only manage to attract nerds. I'm sure it can be explained relatively easily but I'm interested in the details of how such interactions work.
Personality wise, I've always found myself attracted to intellect, responsibility and creativity. Appearance wise, I tend to fall for alternative, metalhead guys with long hair, piercings, and scruffy facial hair. My biggest issue is that these two things are rare to mix X)) And I have a habit of attracting the stereotype that is "30 year old DnD nerds that live in their mother's basement." Guess that says a lot about my own personality XD
That combination made me think of anarchists, I could be wrong in my stereotyping tho
@@celinak5062 Haha X) Maybe a little bit, huh? I'm more about the "edgy metalhead artist" type rather than the "viva la revolucion" type XD
They’re merds themselves so they attract nerds
@@Ritaaw1 But i know plenty of nerds that are not interested in other nerds.
Zethany half of them are attracted to it cuz its familiar, half of them are self aware and dont thik that way
Anyone who have done a fair amount of programming knows that types really matter
Depends on the language
I've never really had a "type" because I think if you meet someone and have chemistry with them that overrides any sort of preconceived notions you've created.
For men: A sexy body and beautiful face is enough
None of this matters If you spend enough time alone. It's easy to see the beauty in anyone after spending significant time in solitude
Not for me I love being alone!😀
This has aged well
@@OhMyChinchilla VERY WELL
Am i the only one who finds others with completely different personalities much more attractive?
"If you experience romantic or sexual attraction..." instantly liked the video, I'm so glad a-spec people are being acknowledged
So you’re telling me we just convince ourselves enough to like other people? Noice
As a ginger guy I can tell you, types don't matter. People who come to me and say "I love gingers" are most often the most superficial people I ever dated or too "starstruck" to even be themselves, which is just a pity.
Huge shout out to Sci Show the asexual/aromantic inclusive language in this video! Really awesome to see! ♥️♥️♥️
Liked for 4:51
"We're giving relationship advice now" you can see Hank's genuine surprise and fear as he says it
Using the language of "people who experience romantic/sexual attraction" makes me feel included in this conversation right away! Often informational videos like this don't include my little asexual butt and I feel like someone watching through a window. Thank you so much!!
I like Hank. Is Hank a type? 👀
Pale nerd
@@celinak5062 lol, me!
Before I came into the picture, my boyfriend dated petite, light haired women and yet here I am, a tall & curvy woman with dark hair. 🤷🏻♀️ types DO go out the window when you meet someone 😂
My type did matter to me in a way.
I liked how the average nordic guy looks. Maybe cause I'm from a Mediterranean country and they're "exotic" in comparison. 🤔
Lo and behold, I'm dating a Swedish guy now.
Overlaps in preferences with friends, need to be studied more, it might also be that you are more likley to become a friend of a person who has more preferences in commmon with you.
all of my friend's types have been the total opposite of mine. thank god
my type actually matters but it's super broad.(im bi so) slightly masculine girls, feminine guys, and they need to be a healthy weight, not be a douchebag, and have some similar interests we can bond over. they also need to respect animals, because i love animals
Definitely me, spent most of my life trying to find my type of 'guy' and then turned out I was willing to change my standards much more quickly when it came to a special gal.
I think 💭 the most important thing in a relationship is if the two people get along like best friends 🔥
A "friend" relationship in a couple should be avoided, you have to get along but always remember to keep the passion spark going.
But he's right, passion always fades, the only hope for a couple to endure is beeing best friends, too.
@Magilvia Max The passion shouldn't fade if you know how to keep it alive. Of course it won't be like in the beginning on the relationship but you have to keep that spark, never let it die. You have to get along and do things together but if you let the passion die it's over. I've been married for almost 15 years now, I know what I'm talking about.
@@norma8686 I'm sure you are great friends too. Btw I'm on year 22 of my marriage.
@@norma8686 Your passion will fade, don't be naive. You most certainly will have a longer relationship if you are great friends.
"Your perfect partner might be nothing!
...like you imagine."
K.
(edit: k)
If looking at a face often makes it seem more attractive, and I find my own face ugly despite looking at it a lot...
OH GOD, I'M HIDEOUS
“Your perfect partner might me nothing”
“....like what you imagine”
Lol
When I was younger I wanted to date a brown haired, blue eyed, Christian man who would be as smart or smarter than me. I also wanted him to be kind and nice and treat me properly.
I ended up with a black haired, brown skinned, genderfluid Muslim who Challenges me intellectually. He also treats me nice and very kindly.
Emotional traits trump physical traits any day for me. I've made several life changes throughout my life (namely accepting that I'm LGBT and non-religious) and he has supported me through all of it. He wasn't my ideal type physically, but emotionally he has satisfied me beyond expectations
Not very, I hope. My typing is terrigle.
Lol
fat finger sybdrome :(
I've always thought that my 'type' was dark-haired and green/brown-eyed, but so far every guy I've liked has been a pasty blonde with blue eyes.
Used to like busty readheads, and mexicans to a lesser extent, who were kind and sweet. Then I met my girlfriend in college. She is Hispanic and a bit on the small side with black hair, but as I got to know her more as a friend and realized she had all the personality traits I had imagined, the more she became my type. 3 years later, she is still the most beautiful women I have ever seen and I couldn't care less about redheads or busty women.
Exactly. Busty blondes, redheads, etc aren't all that they were hyped to be when all other traits click into place.
That's a pretty good way to describe the difference between a pornstar casting and the woman you want as the mother of your children.
Hank is my type
Lol my type too.....
*Our type
3:57 Hello forehead. I didn't expect to see you here XD
I also think your “type” is your ideal partner - so who you end up with very well not be that ideal type, because you need to settle for someone more realistic.
I don't think it is necessarily settling; attraction is much more complex than we realize. "Out types" aren't complex, they fit certain criteria appearance-wise and character-wise, but they are one-dimensional beings, they don't have dreams or quirks, they aren't hurt or happy, they're an idea rather than a being. Ideas don't make us feel, they aren't tangible, they lack warmth and reaction. It's proven that we're attracted to familiarity, which may be the reason why people seem to date within their race, that's what they're accustomed to seeing, that's probably what their family looks like and the ambiance in which they develop and the people they do so with may look similar to them.
The point is: attraction is complex, unpredictable, we don't settle but rather our concept of what is attractive, what is desirable does change along with time and space.
I definitely have a favorite personality type. I like people who are more nerdy, even if it is a fictional character. I am more likely to say they are my favorite character if they are nerdy than if they are an attractive or sporty character.
Ever listen to drunks and dragons?
Jesus, that escalated quickly.
Yea see he didn't mention the fact that your perfect type on paper may also be like finding a flawless diamond, or may not even exist. Also he seemed to be focusing only on looks and that only accounts for about half or less in what you find attractive. Because I think everyone met a person they thought was a smoke bomb until they started talking and you seen their personality come out and you were like whomp whomp, even if they like you
That's probably because you see yourself as a nerd.
I feel like this would also have to do with hobby preferences too, which of course can affect personality types but not always. Someone can be nerdy and sporty at the same time
*me squinting at my liking for guys with long hair*
I literally did not have any outside influence for this.
lol just the subtle lgbt+ inclusivity made me subscribe
Imagine being able to be picky enough to have to worry about types
It always hits a nerve when "facial symmetry" is listed as a factor in attractiveness, because my face is distinctly asymmetrical, and I guess that's why I am rarely asked out. Then again, the asymmetry is a result of a very bad, often-fatal genetic disorder, so I need to be taken out of the gene pool anyway. I guess that's exactly why we've evolved to find facial symmetry attractive in a mate.
It's true that humans are predisposed to like symmetry, but that doesn't mean that nobody will ever find you attractive! At the very least try not to let it get you down too much.
And that thing about "needing to be taken out of the gene pool"? We're humans. We're notorious for perpetuating genes and keeping people alive who if we were animals? would have been selected against. But we're humans, so we (ideally) try to give everyone the best chance we can at living a long life and perpetuating their genes (if they want to).
Adoption is always an option
Asymmetry can also make people uniquely beautiful. Adam driver has an asymmetrical jaw and funny ears but he's still a beautiful man. We all just need to find someone that appreciates our uniqueness.
I prefer this logical standpoint , I dont like it when people go "someone will find you attractive for your uniqueness" it makes me roll my eyes lmao
I actually find facial symmetry less attractive because I struggle to remember faces and the more symmetrical and "normal" they are, the harder it is to keep track of them. That's probably why several of the people I've made friends with have stuff like piercings, dyed hair, scars, so forth; my last girlfriend had an eyepatch, it looked badass and I didn't get her mixed up with anyone else. sorry if this sounds weird or creepy
Just use an AI to know exactly what is your type
Combine it with Google Maps and Instagram, and you got here a geographical match finder
Sounds like Tinder, doesn't it?
I wonder if DJI could make an AI stalker drone for people who are just too busy or lazy to do the actual stalking.
@@massimookissed1023no to any stalking creeps =_=
When are you guys gonna talk about the HUGE 2018 metastudy on the placebo effect?! This is REALLY REALLY important and nobody seems to be talking about it.
Doesn't matter how attracted you are to someone. If they can't commit to a relationship for a few months with you, you're better off finding a "less attractive" human. Or you know, be single for a while..
My wife doesn't match what I would have described as my "type", but she's definitely the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
Have you told her you have a “type” and it’s nothing like her? Please say no!
@@Kaysey5678 that isn't necessarily bad though in my opinion!
I could never imagine myself as being someone else’s type.
Raised on the west coast, now living in the south with a large Black and Korean population. Unfortunately, unless your name is Chadwick Boseman, I don't usually find Black guys attractive. I know this is in part because I was raised around a really white culture, so most times I prefer white guys. Also, I'm white/Hispanic. Just can't help but think if I had a bigger cultural scope growing up, my tastes would be a little more varied. However, I do find Asian guys super attractive for some reason, guess because they look exotic? However, I have a snowball's chance of ever dating one. Ya 'aint never seen a guy like that with a curvy Latina on his arm! Not happening. I'll never get my IRL Tuxedo Mask! 😒😭😭😒 Aside from race, besides high cheekbones, my tastes surprise me. I find Shane from Buzzfeed really cute, even though he's not conventionally hot. There's another guy, but can't think of his name right now. Also, I love staring at Taylor Kitsch and his voice slays me. Prime example of my type. Was recently disheartened to learn he's got an almost 10 year girlfriend.
"People who feel attraction"!!! Thank you so much! as an aroace person this just warms my heart so much!
This was so much more inclusive than any other psych videos I've seen on UA-cam from different channels! Thanks Hank, I loved how you handled this!
I don't know why I'm watching this, but I'm so thankful for the first sentence, the first few words. "IF you experience romantic or sexual attraction" implying there are people who don't, like me, I'm ace.I'm just here because of the youtube rabbit hole of recommended videos just playing
0:00 "If" THANK YOU
I always felt like my "type" is just a congruent style. Like, the exact look of the person doesn't really matter as long as it all kinda matches. Some styles match some body features or character types better, and matching those makes you more attractice in my opinion.
Same
This comment section looks like a gathering of sad and gloomy people that don t believe in their own beauty and to be honest it bugs me a lot.....If you don t like yourself don t expect others to like you BAKAAA.
I am beautiful (not just on the inside :)) ) and I like the way I look I just needed a bit of time to realise that I am actually hot .... I m just saying , look into the mirror and find your qualities don t pretend that you belong to a freak show ...
I tried a few times to figure out what all my exes and unreciprocated crushes all had in common and failed. My "type" is on an I-know-it-when-I-see-it basis.
Jokes on you, I'm a sad isolated individual who pushes relationships away out of fear that others discover what kind of selfish useless garbage of a person I really am.
It matters definitely I've tried to be with people that I don't find attractive that are not my type and it just didn't work out it's like eating your lease favorite food against your will...
Well seeing as that my type is whoever my closest friend is at the time, that mere exposure thing makes a lot of sense.
Hahaha my preference confuses my mom, she keeps trying to convince me a certain type of person is attractive but I don't see it. I find the opposite attractive lol so family and friends have no influence on my type.
and thats why you usually define your type based on past relationships. thats when you realizes you like certain things and they usually reflect things about you, and not specially about who you're atracted to
If I found others rating a picture less attractive I'm sure I'll check on attractive. What's this effect called?
I used to think i didnt have a "TYPE"
Now when i look back
Oh Damn i do have a very specific type
When you're like reeeeaaaally demi and can't physically describe a type.
lmao i genuinely clicked on this thinking it was about mbti
I don’t know that I have a type, other than that I prefer brunettes and redheads over blondes and wirey or athletic over bulked up or adipose. Gender, reproductive organs, ethnicity, and height I could care less about
"if you experience romantic or sexual attraction" THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
My type tastes like phillycheese steak and spins in the microwave for 90 seconds.
After playing dragon age: inquisition, My type is now sad elf boys.
I never date the same kind of person. Whats that say about me? One was super liberal and into his native heritage. One was Spanish and drank to much. One was goofy loud and friendly and Irish as all hell. One was a shut in with dominican heritage... It means I like no one I think 😂 one thing most have in common is theyre like 10 years older than me.
Did you even watch the video? Going by types isn't a thing when it comes to real life dating. The abstract concept of being asked what a type is makes it easy for people to develop all kinds of arbitrary standards for their potential partner but once they're actually in a situation where they meet a person they find attractive there are far more factors you can't think of when someone asks for your type so they adjust their type on the spot to be whatever person they find attractive right then and there. It's a rationalization. The fact that you had different partners just means you're a completely normal person. All of them being +10years older than you might point to daddy issues though lol.
@@edge21str I watched the video... but everyone CLAIMS a type. I do not. My question is more about why do I not have a type even when thinking of "my type" What makes my thought process different. I guess my "type" is more about morals than looks and personality. Someone can say "I prefer heavy guys" and date a skinny guy. I never had a type to change in my head to match the person like most people.
Also I dont have daddy issues btw... I think I date 10 years older because most men in their 20s are more immature than I. But that's the only trait the guys share. Btw they usually end up Still acting like 14yo at 30+
@@kyarylevay1472 The daddy issues thing was a joke. It's not like everyone claims a type, you're not unique. But yeah, in the western world there's this concept of having a type and most people conform to holding that believe. All this stuff is just my opinion of course but I think you're either just more self aware than most people or you're worse at picking up social ques and don't know how or don't want to conform.
How come I don't like mirrors? My dad doesn't either. For me it feels like my sense of environment is distorted since I am seeing things behind me and my brain is saying I shouldn't be able to do that
That is fascinating! Never thought of that
There's this thing in psychology that focuses on visual/prism adjustment, which basically means that the average human being can comfortably adjust to different orientations of their surroundings (like if you wear goggles that shifts everything to the left by 3 in. you would eventually be able to comfortably adjust to it). There's a famous experiment where a man wore goggles that made everything upside down and he eventually perfectly adjusted to it, although we are still not sure why/how this happens. It sounds like the brain processes that enable this for you and your father are funky, but it's okay because everyone is different. :D
3:58: then why am I so good at finishing psych homework last minute? *Hmmmm?*
nice ace/aro inclusion! thank you!!!