he broke up with me | Katie Carney
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- he broke up with me| Katie Carney
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After a 15 year marriage to my childhood sweetheart who I’ve known since I was 3. He left when I was at the gym. No talk no signs no explanation, just a 3x3 post it that said... It’s not you.
My biological father left us when I was 3, never to hear from him again.
Lesson..... 😔 you never really know someone. Find happiness within yourself you are a beautiful soul.
My heart broke for you.
Shelby Grover thank you
I'm really sorry that happened, and hope you were able to get stronger and over come it....know none of it is your fault and that you cant change someone...just yourself 💖💜💕💞
Wow fuck sake. Sorry. 💜💜💜💜 hugs 💜💜💜💜
God damn.
3s suck
No matter what anyone else says, your feelings are valid!! 💓💔
Thanks, love. ❤️
right
Katie Carney I love women with mental illness and stomach problems
you're*@@skepticalmechanic
Feelings are always valid. But they are not always right.
Broke my heart to hear you say "no don't break up with me" Goddamn there's a dude out there for just you. you're going to be ok. Your ability to communicate and your understanding of its place in a relationship will always find you someone to grow with
Thank you, love.
@@katiecarney Tons of dudes. This one did you a favor by getting out of the way. You'll thank him one day.
"I am in love with you" so early in a relationship means "I am in lust with you".
That's not true, married my wife in 5 months and have 3 kids with that amazing woman lol
I get where you are coming from. Love comes too fast it could be lust instead of love.
@Jay Caldwell I believe they hired the Pinkertons
bardos been nearly a year and my other half and I are still all loved up.never had that before.i think u just need to find the right one.
I knew within a few weeks we were meant to be together.
Yeah I agree this isn't true. Me and my partner met and it was love at first sight. Now we own a house together and have been together for 3 years and we're more in love than ever. So it definitely can work.
A loss is a loss whether it's after 6 weeks or after 6 years. Be kind to yourself. Sending you hugs.
No it is absolutely NOT the same. When you’re with someone for years, you share everything and everyday life with them. You create a life..shared housing, shared bills, pets,ect. Dating and hanging out with someone for 6 weeks isn’t even a fucking relationship. It’s a fling no matter how “close” you think you got. You didn’t know shit about them
wow, why all the anger Kristina? Seems like someone is holding a resentment or grudge against a past relationship (fling)...
@@jeaniejbutler4911 Lol, I thought the same thing!
Kevin Williams ~ Wrong of you suggesting “Drop the God thing.” God is ALWAYS here to give wisdom, direction, peace, love, and comfort.
We all certainly need God, though the highs and through the lows. Jesus loves you ~
After 6 weeks is about me...felt just as bad...😪
I dated my daughter ‘s father for a few years. Had a good relationship (or so I thought) no issues or problems. One day he called me to say he was getting a new number so pick up so I could save it and I never heard from him again. I thought something terrible happened for the longest time contacted his family and no one ever responded that’s when I realized I didn’t know him at all and he was just a terrible human. The pain he caused me was intense.A few years ago he contacted me out of the blue and basically admitted he was an ass. At least I got that closure after 14 years. Sometimes it really isn’t you . I wish you the best. Grieve and remember you are worthy.
Rona Holmes TELL ME ABOUT IT! I’m sorry it happened to you too. 😞
Rona Holmes I guess we have all been there, male and female.
Wow. Out of nowhere just LEFT?? That's intense.. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
@@pbj0815 wow how awful! How is anyone capable of that especially when you've had someone in your life for awhile? And why would he tell you he was even getting a new number and to pick up if he had 0 intention of calling? Did he ever say why he did it?
Rona Holmes these SOBs just call to make THEMSELVES feel better. I would tell anyone to either not answer or hang up immediately. Why give them closure for being a SOB? Sorry Bud. You don’t deserve it. Hope you got his address and got your back child support of you had not been getting it. What a Bum.
Btw, when guys decide they are done in a relationship, they will use the nearest small incident to break up. They just wait for you to do or say something wrong so they can have their "out".
True
@J G I'm being unfair?
@@Sam-dd7tn yes unfair. When "anyone" not just guys decide it's over. It's not just a guy thing. It goes both ways.
Sam yes or if they wanna go out and “F” around, they do the same!
No
The only thing I can think to do is send a gentle hug. ☮
Yeppers hugs 🤗
You popped up on my suggested videos. Already watched about 4 now lol Just wanted to say you seem like such a chill person. I love that you choose to live your life the way that you do. Not a lot of people are brave enough. Look forward to watching new videos 💖
I have mental illness and I speak from experience when I say this. Do not put too much responsibility for your mental illness on your significant other.
She believed he was the one. She gave him her soul because there was no warning signs. Go smack yourself at once!
@@sidebite2533 That's her own fault then. You should never put that much faith in someone, they will inevitably let you down. It's her fault for trusting someone that much. You smack yourself, pleb.
I totally agree.
Well said
Sounds like SOMEone has never been in LOVE, before... :/ :/ :/
I'm so sorry, Katie. Breakups suck, and it doesn't matter if you've been together a few months or a few years, it's still going to hurt. Know that wherever you are right now, we're all sending you positive vibes and virtual hugs.
I do wanna know how you have a REAL relationship traveling n living in car. We all need support from others.
Katie, hate seeing you hurt, you are so full of love, people can lie in heartbeat, but you must be strong, life is a blessing and you truly are blessing to us, and your loved ones💕release and move forward.
I was with an ex for 6 years. We almost broke up at 4 years because he wanted to and we decided (at my request) to work on our relationship. 2 years later and out of the blue I came home to find him gone for good (he eventually came back but I had moved on). Don’t ever tell someone not to leave you. Don’t ever allow yourself to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Because in the end they can leave you at 6 weeks or 6 years and if they don’t want to be with you then there’s someone out there that does and it won’t be hard and it won’t be constant compromising. But when you ask someone to stay you’re asking them to do it for you, not for themselves and you deserve someone who never questions their desire to maintain a relationship with you.
THIS. This is the smartest thing I’ve ever read. Thank you.
My Mom is savage. Her now ex told her, "I considered leaving." My Mom said, "Consider it done." No one wants to share their lives with people who threaten to leave when they get a wild hair up their ass.
That's was a real good advice ..i have a friend who is married many many years and she is always telling me HE has to chase you HE has to be afraid not to lose you... Don't give too much allow him to give you more...its working I guess she is married many years and she is happy you know ..she is take care of Herself first!!
yo i'm speaking from experience. Don't let a dude be your only source of support or happiness.
This is one of the most important life lessons that there is.
Just a thought from an older man .I have three daughters and I try to convince them and tell them that no man Is worth being devastated over.You’re a very attractive and would have no problem interesting many men and let me tell you a little secret that he wouldn’t want you to know.The secret is that before he was lucky enough to meet you he got turned down by many many women and attractive women as you are would have no problem finding someone who would appreciate you.You will have a much easier time finding someone else then he will that’s just the nature of things and you will.
Jamie absolutely. It’s a good reminder we all need.
WORD.
If it didn't work out it wasn't meant to.
One of the things that got me through a tumultuous breakup (where I was utterly devastated) was hearing advice someone gave someone else going through their tumultuous breakup. They said "you will probably go through much pain for several months - perhaps a year or two - but that is much better than being in pain for 30 or 40 years in an awful marriage." Consider yourself fortunate that it didn't go on longer.
I wish I could reach through this video and give you a hug! You are wonderful. Heartbreak is the worst.
I say this with all the kindness in the world: it is unfair to expect your significant other to be your therapist. Putting all of your issues on someone is just not fair. Getting help for yourself is important, not only for yourself, but so that you can be a great partner to someone else - if that’s what you want. I’ve been in your exact position where I expected someone to be my one hundred percent emotional support and someone shared with me that what I was expecting was unrealistic and too much pressure for a person. That advice was eye opening for me. I hope this helps to hear and doesn’t hurt you more. I hope you can find some peace with your mental health. I know that’s a rough place to be.
This is perfectly worded. I hope she reads this.
Absolutely ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes Yes Yes
A boyfriend should not have to be put in the position of being your Doctor. You were not being fair to him. He probably was overwhelmed by your neediness. I would be and Im also stuggling with depression.
I don't agree. She had talked with this guy about needing someone to vent to and make her feel better. That is a term set in the initial part of the relationship, if they want to change that then there needs to be clear communication. Imagine if one random day your teacher came to school and just didn't talk but still expect you to take the test. This is how that feels
lyneec 96 isn’t the world an awesome place? We can all have different opinions.
He didn’t explain the breakup bc he himself didn’t know why. He just knew it wasn’t working. He grew tired of it all. Been there, done that.
It wasn’t meant to be. However, Each relationship, each breakup, is in preparation for the “real thing”. Have faith.
Kevin the “real” thing? Or settling for the “real” thing.
No settling! The “real” thing. Aka life partner
Kevin just cuz it didn't work don't mean it's not real. as a man I think we do know pretty early on if she's the 1.... But we can still enjoy the situations and relationship. I notice there can be little kwerks that can be turn offs and in time they shift feelings from relationship to freindship. I can say WE do Know why we don't want the relationship to continue in that direction. thing's Change. he could be telling the truth. We start out strong and READY. But .. sometimes things Divide us. At least he told you, at least he opened the door and let you go instead of dragging you through lies, cheating, DISRESPECT....and all the unhealthy behaviors. Maybe he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings and tell you the turn offs. I can't EVER tell a female why... Not the little things that turn me the other way. I just can't. So...... Be mindful on comfortability. You can spark fast but.... things still need to GROW as 1. allow the man to meet you half way....and grow into the comfortability of what it'll take to be YOUR BF
@@youtubecommentpolice2043 YT Yes we know all of that to be true but Kevin was simply offering words of encouragement not a whole dang on explanation as to the why's. You sir are doing the most. Byeeeee
@@lauradanielle1343 last it's a free public post I can say n do what ever the hell i want too. You don't earn any right to tell me what the hell i can say n how to say it. And its freakin text. ... there is no "doin the most,". Grow TF up
I ran across your videos quite by accident today. You are amazing, and brave and I wish so many good things for you. Stay safe out there, and know there is an older lady in SE Indiana that is going to keep you and your endeavors in her prayers. God Bless you, Sweetheart!
If you're already arguing a month in, that's not a good sign.
Thank you for sharing this with us Katie. I know it's not easy. You didn't get proper closure so naturally you'd feel the way you feel. Reminds me of going on an excellent interview, followed up by 2 more really great interviews for the same job, and then being turned down with no reason given.
Please don't internalize this as if it's all your fault. He just wasn't the one. Keep your head up and and don't lose faith in true love. 💜
StorytimeMarie I HAVE TO COMMENT BECAUSE ITS SO IRONIC! This JUST happened to me (with the job) and it’s so confusing and really has me sad and just all around questioning things.. thank you for saying this because it’s literally RIGHT where I’m at!
And I also completely agree with you, Katie! There might be “trolls”out there-leaving negative and discouraging things- but please know there’s so many people here that will NOT judge you! We’re here to be on this journey with you! I, like many of us, can relate so much to you. I’m grateful for your videos; and your ability to do this! The fact you can make a video and share with us the things this deep is so meaningful and REAL content! You’re so amazing! And maybe you don’t always see it.. but you WILL find someone who sees your beautiful self! Keep your head up and know you ALWAYS have so many people in your corner! 💜
@@jadalee7671 The job scenario happened to me too. But I did find a better job where I'm still working today going on 15 years. I know the right job is out there for you too Jada!
StorytimeMarie THANK YOU SO SO MICH FOR SAYING THAT! Means a lot to me.. really! I was at the same place for five years and it was bought out by a huge company and I was actually promoted before I went septic.. twice 😭😰 so it was all terrible and I was so sick.. and it showed me who I really worked for. Very hard. And I just went to an interview that went AMAZING! It was over an hour and a half.. I had them laughing and joking- it went awesome. But I’ve heard nothing and it’s been so long since I’ve done this and it just has me all over the place.. even though I know it sounds silly it was a huge deal to me... so really! Your kind words mean so much to me! THANK YOUUU!!
Jada I've been looking since March. Crazy story after crazy story. It sucks and so easy to get down about it. In the end, it boils down to I wasn't chosen, pick up and move on. Could be me. Could be them. Doesn't matter...result is the same. On positive days, I say they saved me trouble in the long run.
It's very hard to date a bipolar lady. I did it for four years. You're right, you have to be very calm and understanding. I found out it's not only about being there for them. It's also about giving them their space when they need it too. You have to see past the illness and love them for the person they are beneath the depression. My girlfriend and I broke up because neither one of us could leave our home states because of family obligations. I still miss her. You are a very beautiful woman. You are also very caring and sweet. And you are so much more than just being bipolar. The man who is strong enough to see past the bad times and love you no matter what is going to be very, very lucky to have you.
Tom Bowling awwww! ❤️
So true Tom.
Tom Bowling you are so decent and wise and insightful and understanding
This ^^^ to the max!!
Tom Bowling you are a wonderful man.
You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are highly intelligent and beautiful inside and out. I really admire you. Watching your videos and listening to your perception of life and it’s hardships always gives me inspiration and strength.
My 2 cents. When dating never see someone every single day unless you are living with them. We wear certain clothes because we want to appear a certain way. Someone that wishes to spend 100% of their time with another person will eventually be devalued. No matter how much you want to hang with someone ...... "be busy" sometimes. Don't text or call unless it's about something to do. Appearances matter (especially in the beginning). Be strategic with your time and you will be seen as more valuable. You are bright and are attractive. I was lucky enough to find someone that was non judgmental, kind, that listened, good humor and fun to be with (also very attractive). Had no money when we met but I had humor and was willing to work. 40 years later I see myself as oh so lucky. Don't know much about your family but life might be better with them nearby. I wish you good luck and take care.
Michael Duffy you are giving advice from an experience you had FORTY YEARS AGO. “Appearance matters”
What? Is this a Good Housekeeping article from 1950?
Jennifer R Smith I believe the proper response is "Ok boomer" lmao
The Bourdeaux Project you are right. Missed opportunity 😂
@@jenniferrsmith2012 THIS. 🙌
I.m sorry, hes a coward, no hero in this person. You have wisdom, not all do. Gods strenghth.
Katie, my heart broke for you when I saw this. It is never easy to leave a relationship, especially when you are fragile. 💔
Your current situation isn't your final destination, allow yourself to feel so you can heal and carry on this wild journey 🙏
The "no real explanation" out of the blue breakup happened to me after almost 5 years together. We never spoke again and I still have no idea what I did. Today I am married to a man who has loved me and helped me heal throughout the past 9 years. That desperation that I thought I'd feel forever is a distant memory now...one day, this will be just a distant memory for you as well. Your time will come.
A L whew I’ve been with my Man for 5 years we have to many assets together to not talk ever again how’d you get out of it without speaking to him again?
@@HughMadBro we kept our finances separate..our apartment and bills were all in his name and I just paid my half each month. I took clothes/personal items only.
A L wish I would’ve done that 🤦🏻♀️we have assets together & he’s a man Child & im not getting any younger!
@@HughMadBro I suppose if you two couldn't agree on how to divide your assets, you could go to court. I'm sure that seems daunting though. But like my grandmother says "life's too short to be unhappy but it sure seems long if you're not".
You know what? This guy is PERFECT.... For someone else. Thank goodness he did you the favor of leaving. Now you are open to find that person that will be there for you. Be there for all your needs and willing to change for you. Someone is waiting. He is there. He is also PERFECT but this time.... Perfect for you. Trust in this. It's hard, I know. It's so freaking hard but keep the faith. Love to you and your heart.
SAMANTHA Love this comment.
Yassssss! Samantha SAID IT! 👍🏼. Be strong Katie, it’s just a season that you are in....it’s soooo not you! 😜😘
I'm so glad you said this because it's true ♡
No-one is perfect! Let's correct this... Because if you believe this you have expectations.. And then you are going to be disappointed for sure... So better live your life and enjoy the moments with others and if someone wants to stay it's OK if not still is OK.
To quote Garth Brooks, "Some Of God's Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers".
That song is great and has a lot of really deep meaning and whenever I hear it I always stop and really listen to it.
Ooh, I like that about the unanswered prayers.
Sometimes some of the shortest relationships can be really intense. I've been discarded before, and it sucks.
I hope you are ok ❤️
I went through a few breakups like this and also deal with severe depression, anxiety, and chronic illness. I found my someone. He listens to my negative thoughts and lifts me up. He prays over me when I’m hurting. He loves me where I am. I’m praying you find that kind of someone.
You carry yourself so professionally, and you’re handling this so mature. it’s an admirable trait. Keep your head up beautiful ❤️ there’s a plan for everyone and maybe this wasn’t it.
❤️❤️❤️
I think you are hurting so much more, beyond the break up. I think you need to go home to your family and get some kind of help, especially since you know you are getting worse. Please, even just talk to someone you trust ( your mom maybe) do it before you no longer can recognize the difference. Talk to someone now! We care about you!
Feel better. ♥️🙏
I agree, each video I see so much pain and anxiety. I have been there before myself. Just seems to be another video of more struggles.
Agreed!
Bev Bailie it worries me too. I just want her to be okay.
Yeah, I think a trip home would be a great idea!
The biggest problem with him ghosting you is that you're left wondering what YOU did. Why assume it's something that YOU did? It's happened to me, as a matter of fact a few months ago. Yes, my feelings were hurt, but disappointment is always stemmed from expectations. I expected him to show me the respect of cluing me in if something was wrong. I'm big on communication and we've talked about that before. If he doesn't realize I meant it when I said that, then he's not someone I want to hang out with anyway. (Leads me to believe he doesn't mean everything he says, which isn't ok with me anyway.)
I have learned from paying attention to myself and others that we treat people how we feel about ourselves. If someone is disrespectful to me, I wonder why they don't respect themselves. I'm a good catch, I have no doubt. I figure he's just not ready for someone like me yet. LoL When the time is right, I'll find someone who is......and so will you. "In His time, not mine"
I just started watching your vlogs and I just want you to know I find you an amazing and strong young woman. Blessings to you katie
There’s always tomorrow! 😇
He already told you why, you're just not accepting it. It doesn't matter what u said or did, because even if you knew what they were, changing it would be like changing who you truly are and you shouldn't change for anyone. Take it like it is, you saved time and the investment was small; make the return even bigger. learn from it and grow. Plus, if he ghosted you, the relationship probably wasn't really how you thought it was. You'll get through this, and I'm sorry, break ups suck ;/
Horse poop. We all need to change to make ourselves better for ourselves and the people in our lives. Change to become a better person for yourself or someone you care about is a beautiful thing.
@@VANquishedAdventures If you're changing because you want to, great. If you're only changing because someone else *wants* you to, not great.
@@treesapgrl unless it's your kids asking you stop doing drugs(or whatever) and you don't want to.....there are lots of good reasons to change who we are. I get the idea "Don't change for someone else" and I'm probably overanalyzing it a bit but there are lots of good reasons people change.......and some not so good ones.
@@VANquishedAdventures If you are going to be one of those who plays Devil's advocate no matter what and over the most obvious of things, we cannot have meaningful discourse; overanalyzing would be an understatement.
@@treesapgrl it's just a comment reflecting that there are legitimate reasons to change for someone else. Nothing more and nothing less. Sorry if my comment has upset you.
Then he doesn't know what he had.... You are a wonderful person it is his loss xx
Yea..unfortunately I've learned that you can't put ALL that on your partner. They will definitely lose interest fast. You need more friends that you can talk with about what your brain says. If a guy feels like he can't FIX your problem..and you're saying it over and over...he's gone. You were too much too fast. I've been there. I may still be there, and that's why I can give the advice LOL..
moonlightsadness omg you’re spot on. This same thing happened with me with my last guy😞
I can relate. And I agree. He had an overload. I hate it when I do this to people without even realizing it.
Ehhh... Yes and no. I always put it all out there from the get... And often times, yes, dude fled. But my husband? The One? He just pulled me closer and said "I can't fix it, but I CAN love you through it." and I knew I would find him eventually. Everyone needs someone who can take them for who they are, and ALL of who they are. If they can't, they're not the one.
Unfortunately Katie just loads and loads and loads. She doesn’t know how to just listen. I appreciate this comment because there is so much truth to it. Guys will eventually lose interest in her because emotionally she can’t cope with her own emotions and unfortunately feeds off the attention that she is getting from these comments. I hope she grows from this instead of just playing the victim.
That's right on. He felt overwhelmed and it was just too much emotion for him to handle so soon. It seems it is best to keep things light and upbeat in a new relationship for probably quite a while before getting into deeper topics.
Rejection is God's protection.
Your right
DakotaSeven 💯
DakotaSeven YES
Havent heard that one before.
Can I use this topic of yours in order to turn it into a sermon?
My daughter has a form of OCD, where she ruminates on negative thoughts, along with anxiety/depression. I found an EXCELLENT therapist for her in Virginia, he helped her so much and gave her back her life, and he will Skype the appointment if you need it (we actually live in another state and this was super helpful for us). If you want his information, just let me know. Hugs.
Bless your beautiful heart for offering to help her.💕
Would love the info please?
@@ilovemycats1121 Dr. Albert Jerome in Ashburn Virginia. He really helped my daughter without using meds.
@urstandingonmytoes BLESS YOUR SOUL 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
💜
Here's a thought, and I too am bipolar, but my meds work. Using your significant other as a sounding board of your daily moods may not be the best thing to do. He is not your Dr., he is your boyfriend. It may exhaust anyone and wear the relationship thin. Hope this helps. Oh, and your feeling worse since June may indicate that you need a med tweek. Good luck, sweetie.
Susan Maguire I agree totally w/you. I hope this pretty young woman will take your advice, as that has been my experience. I, personally, kno that I cannot go w/o my meds. When I feel like My brain is getting worse, I have to talk to my therapist, not my husband or friends, bc it can be too exhausting for them!
I was thinking the same thing.
Meds cover Jesus heals
Yeah, I hope she IS taking medication, taking it consistently and on time. From previous experience of living with a bi- polar individual(sis lived with us for 15 years) IT takes a lot of patience and love to put up with highs and lows, mood swings of nastiness to euphoria, panic attacks, severe depression,...we took it and let her live with us. Then...she took to drinking vodka every day. The abuse she pelted out got worse, I started having health issues being stressed out and very high Blood Pressure. like when I collapsed in May, it was 238/118. We decided to give her 2 month notice to move out. She left in 1 month. She is doing better. And we are happier. So...another trait/symptom I've noticed of Bi-polar is they are great yakkers. They'll talk something to death. So..it does take patience to live with a mental illness, like Bi-polar, but better to find out you are not suited to a "forever" after 6 weeks than to spend longer. You, Hon, learned this bittersweet fact pretty quick. Not everyone can handle good stable relationships, much less ones with another's mental issues. Someday, You will find the right person who really can meld with your life and love you like you want and deserve.
@@jacquelinedavis4955 oh shut up with that nonsense. The sky genie doesn't cure it all.
I can’t thumbs up a video about a guy breaking up with you...so instead I’m leaving this comment to let you know I know this is a hard thing to share. Big hug.
Real love isn't unchanging feelings, real love is unchanging commitment.
Jeff Parkinson 🙌🏽
I really want to know. How do you not get hurt from unchanging commitment? Women want to hold on to the last minute "ride or die" and they end up getting hurt.
@@amandatijerina601 rinse and repeat. Never regret loving too much. However never forget to love yourself either. All pain will fade away with time.
Amen, Jeff!
Nice.
Hey Katie!
I think you putting your feelings out there are very brave! I'm so proud of you because relationships are so complicated in general and you seem to be handling this amazingly. I'm so proud and you are so strong. ❤
Break ups always suck and just remember your feelings are always valid, okay?
Much love from TX.
I'm a guy . this Sounds like he had no interest in you from the beginning trust me lots of men are good actors from the beginning . it's not you .
I said a similar thing to your comment. I'm a guy as well and this ass clown being fake came to mind firstly. Must of been burned out on the acting and had nothing left in the bag of romance tricks.
Ok beta "nice guy" lol tip your fedora gentle sir
Mental illness is a lot of baggage to a relationship. I don’t think he realized how much of an overload it was.
yup he probably realized quickly what he was in for and jumped ship. dont blame him at all
@@Lewdacris916 I dumped a chick three years ago who had mental illness.
@@pp3k3jamail dodged a bullet buddy, crazy women are the worst! Id rather be single
Hey sweetheart, I can’t help but be like a mother to you since I am older, please go home to your mom, get some love and comfort from her and your family, do not be alone for now and get some help. You are bright, intelligent, articulate and have so much going for you. In time you will find the right person. Please go home. We care for you.
That's right
thank u, next
Relationships really do trigger a lot of fear and obsessive thoughts in anyone, but for people with anxiety its so tough to get out of your head and into the moment. Hope you meet someone so sweet and silly that you're laughing too much to worry!
1. I am also someone who has always had fast-moving, intense relationships. Because of this, after many heart breaks I finally adopted a "4 Month Rule" in which I would give it 4 months before getting genuinely excited about the person (and planning a future with them in my mind). This is because from my experience, you don't know someone's true character until at least 4 months into the relationship. Before this time, they are in the honeymoon, "showing their best self" phase. But this phase can only last so long. There has only been one man that has ever maintained his amazing character past the 4-month mark... And I married the shit out of him. :) Might be a good idea to adopt some type of rule like this to make sure you really see all sides of them before getting too excited. Again, I feel you- my dating style is identical to yours.
2. It's easy to say, "I love you and accept your mental illness, etc" when you're in the honeymoon phase and before they have really seen it. But a lot of people don't know how they will really react and feel about your mental illness until you are having an episode. He likely thought something like, "oh this is worse than I imagined" or "I thought I could deal with this but I can't." There is a huge difference in someone saying "I can deal with this," vs Actually dealing with it and still standing there afterwards saying, "I've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and I still love you and I'm here for you." Actions speak 10 times louder than words.
3. If you are struggling with mental illness, it might be a good idea to be in one place for a good while, or even long term, so you can see a therapist regularly and have that support system in place so that when you feel yourself getting bad you can lean on this support system. It will likely help you to have and maintain healthier relationships. Whereas if you're on the road, you might be likelier to lean on your boyfriend for support and this is likelier to burn your boyfriend out and cause the relationship to fizzle. But if you have to be on the road on live in your car it might be worthwhile to find a therapist that you can talk to over the phone on a regular basis. There are definitely therapists that will do phone/FaceTime therapy sessions and this might be an excellent option for you.
I know you posted this video a while ago and you're likely over this dude already, but just know that you are an awesome human being and there is definitely an equally awesome match for you, somewhere out there. And if it takes a while to find them, you will only appreciate them that much more!
This is a no brainer. I used to fall in love so fast I had to develop what I called the three rule. After sleeping with someone three times, if I didn't see the person as someone I wanted to be in a relationship with then I would end it. And then I would have a three month rule. If after dating someone for three months if I didn't see the person as someone I wanted to stay with forever I would end it. These rules helped me quite a bit.
I love, and agree with EVERY WORD And piece of advice you wrote. Fantastic advise and insight. I do hope she takes some of it to heart. xox
For me it's three months, but I basically have the same rule. I noticed that almost every asshole or jerk I've ever been with showed their true colors within 3-4 months. Before that, no one should be talking about love or any of that. It should just be getting to know a fellow human, not getting into a relationship.
19:40 you didn't hurt him. He just freaked out and bounced. Not your fault girl.
Probably a lot clingy … And he bounced !!!
@@danasalberg2279 Agreed
As a man and ex womanizer, I said ex thank you. Im betting he didn't understand the impact he had. Then maybe the L word was used in a very psychological terrifying way. Thus him understanding how serious it is, then real commitment issues come into play. Neither is at fault this just wasn't meant to be... it comes down to a man that can accept the good and bad and both moving together in the same direction.
You all have too remember, the word "love" means different things to different people. She's not psycho - she did everything she could to validate what, why, or how as a grown woman. And in case you have never loved before or forgot, its socialably accepted insanity so yes it's psychotic.
Remember ladies - Weak men are scared of strong women and vica-versa. 👌
/Jesus Christ - I maybe have some grudges still or I need to forgive someone. - This comment was oddly useful. 👍❤
Whatever u r going through, just know that your youtube family is here to love, listen and support u. 🤗😍☺💜
When you find the right one, you can do things that he absolutely hates and he'll still be there to love, cheer you on,and care for you... Not brake up with you.. You would of been walking on eggshells with him always.. Don't worry girl you'll find someone that will love you for you..
Yep I love my wife that way would never ever hurt her and no matter what she is my one and only.
Jesus loves you.. dont ever forget that where ever you are.. i hope you are feeling better now..your simply awesome...chin up ok.. life is really special
Katie, it saddens me that you have to think that you are going to get mean or demeaning comments with you posting this video. 😢 That truly sucks!! I am here to watch you for the good and bad and I will NEVER judge or say mean things to you. Also it doesn’t matter how long the relationship was it still hurts. I’m here to listen not judge. ❤️
Sandra Rice if anyone does, they shouldn’t be on this channel
totally agree. x
Sandra Rice agree with this so hard ♥️
its realistic... As a nurse who has saved a life only to be told I was being going to be sued... sometimes people have nothing better to do than be mean and or unproductive. Not my problem... I didn't end up being sued, but even the words made my heart stop bc my only intention was to help...
Cassandra Peters 🙁
That much conflict in 6 weeks I feel like is a red flag. But it's not anyone's fault, it's rare to meet someone you are truly compatible with. And the right guy is gonna be someone who is willing and able to meet you wherever you are. He wasn't that guy, and that's fine. Better to find out sooner rather than later. Especially since he ended up being the kind of guy who ghosts you instead of communicating with you when things are tough. Your feelings are valid and you can feel whatever you feel for however long you feel it! You're a catch, don't forget it.
I think your videos are therapy for you and you are helping others also.
KATIE, I think it's time for you to find a counselor who can help you sort thru all your ideas and find peace with this new chapter of your life. Move on, get help and return to the joy you have found in living the single life
Know you don’t seem to want medication but you should try some I am 62 finally got on an anti anxiety med and it was great no weird side effects just feeling better .
Sheryl Rausch what medication are you taking? Anti anxiety meds have never worked for me but obviously haven’t tried them all
Xanax works wonders when I'm keyed up. And for the occasional panic attack, which of course are absolutely terrible. Fortunately I haven't had one of those for over a year now. Its is addictive, so it's not to be taken casually, only when needed. I've had a prescription for them for 10 years now. No issues with addiction. Sometimes I wont need it for a month. Sometimes, couple times a week. Were talking 1 pill for the day. Just knowing I have a pill in my pocket everyday is usually enough to not need it!
THANK U, NEXT
Wow I'm so sorry that you had once again another crappy experience. I just had something similar happen to me. My recent Ex met my son and I welcomed him into my home. I thought it would be serious. 3 days before he broke up with me he said I really want this to work. He even sat with me in my closet while I was organizing just to spend time with me. Then bam! Out of no where. He wasn't ready to commit to anyone he says. Anyway, I wish you the best and happy journeys ahead and better people to come into your life. Keep pushing forward! I love your videos keep it up!!!! Sending you HUGS....🤗🤗🤗🤗
It’s so much harder when u have kids, especially young without a full time dad. Not that that was ur experience but it was mine. More then once. Causing a lot of hurt to my son. It’s so sad people don’t make it work anymore
@@debbiepotter6413 yep no matter the age welcoming someone into your family is hard enough. Then another person disappears from all your lives...when the right one comes along I'm sure it will work out but I feel like I'll be so old by the time it happens. I am 42. I always joke I'll be 80 when I meet that special person. lol
Debbie Collins Your words “once again” should be an indicator to what she must be like in a relationship
Ohhh girl, this isn't about you. It's about him. Do not think it's because of your mental health, it's about his inability to be vulnerable with you. Girlll been there ♥️
Growing up Gypsy , yes, he had issues, she wanted to continue. But common to everyone that relationships reach an impasse for one of them. I really doubt vulnerability was it though. More like it would be too much work for any number of reasons. The people who mate best with bipolar have more personal autonomy and self assurance. He's probably still young and growing into his personhood which her issues would over-dominate.
People are infatuated early in a relationship and think it is love. Then reality sets in. He might have met someone else. People are fickle.
@@savedbygrace3901
Thanks for sharing but please clean up the spelling 😀 those angry feelings towards the drunk Romeo must have had you typing too fast 😂 calm down Ma, he's gone👍
Breaking up is hard.. at least you didn't go through what happened to me. My ex divorced me after 25 years... she ripped my heart out of my chest, took my son, then court raped me. I was faithful to her all that time. She found a younger guy with money. I am now 55 and my options are limited at my age. So much for true love. You are still young and beautiful and have many options ahead of you.
Rule of living, dating, friendships....3 months= People can present themselves anyway they want you to think you to think they are. 6 months= People start showing signs of the true meat of who they are. 9 months= The struggle IS real. Everyone is by then showing the true colors and deciding what they can and can't handle about the bond you are creating. 1 year= If you have seen the good, bad, ugly, quirky, diagnosis, hygiene habits, holy underwear and you still choose them in spite of it you have made it. If after 4 years and he hasn't made a commitment get out. Resentment will set in because women want the security of being married
100% went through the same thing he has depression and anxiety too we clicked so well. We saw each other everyday too for 6 months we didn't fight once. I thought we were going to get married, have kids everything. The first time we did fight was over going to a shop after I had been working all day I said no I'm staying, i want to go to bed, just go if u want to im not going to stop u and he left and never came back not a word since. I was getting worse at the time too I was in my final year in college just before my big exams and trying to sucure my job.. He left me at one of the weakest times of my life and didnt contact me at all since that was now 1 year 9 months ago, I got though the worst part of the breakup thank god, but I still struggle everyday and still think about him everyday. Its so had when you don't have the closure.. No one understands until they have been through it...
I've since heard though friends that he said I was dragging him down. He never had a job in his life he's now 25 and still no job living with his mam and she looks after everything even his money.
After he left I went on to finish college, i did very well in the exams and I didn't get that job but I got another one that gave me the courage to go and start my own business which has now been open for just over a year and its just getting better and better.
I wish he could of stuck by me like he said he would, and if he could of made it through the thunder storm there was a beautiful rainbow on the other side that he is missing out on now.
After the breakup my meds got doubled and now I'm fully off everything. Things are really really good now. Just wish I could get over him fully and stop thinking about him..
Just remember your rainbow is on the way, you will go though so much in these few weeks and months but hanging on. It will be okay. Xxxxxxxxxx
I turned 22 last sunday by the way.
Oh girl, that guy sounds like someone completely unworthy of your year and nine months spent thinking about him!! Look at the info objectively:
1) left you with no explanation after 6MONTHS together
2) no job
3)MOM manages everything-- including his money at 25 years old!
You are 22 and look at all you've been strong enough to successfully complete-- your college degree, started a BUSINESS, got your mental health straightened out and got off meds...!!! Good job lady!!! Have you ever considered the HUGE FAVOR he did you by bailing?? You'd be supporting his broke, uncommunicative, momma's-boy ass, while trying to run a business yourself!?!? Screw that!!
You deserve a GOOD man, one that knows how to BE A MAN!! This little boy doesn't have a CLUE! COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE THAT HE WAS DONE!? Sorry, but if I were you, I'd make a point to make today the VERY LAST DAY I WASTED ANY TIME THINKING ABOUT HIM!
I'm sure by now it's just a habit, and that takes time to break... but DO IT! (My guess is that the rejection and lack of closure is much more the reason you're obsessing, rather than anything great about him)???
Best of luck to you!
@@WhoShe1973 thank you Tammy
Breakups can be exceptionally difficult. Especially so for analytical type thinkers when you aren't given a concrete explanation. I feel your pain.
Of course he answered the concert tickets message SMH!!!
I’m curious to know who it was, because I live in Nashville and this sounds a lot like a guy I dated here (or like every other typical flakey guy in Nashville). We spent every day together, things were going great, I met his family and everything, and then out of the blue he broke up with me. And then later he made up all these weird, superficial, dumb reasons as to why he broke up with me. It really cut my self esteem down and broke me, until I read a book called “Attached” which is about different attachment styles and it completely opened my eyes to everything. I have an anxious attachment style and this guy had an avoidant attachment style, which is why he bailed. I think you may have an anxious attachment style like myself which means you too will likely attract flakey avoidant guys. I highly recommend reading the book “Attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
I have never heard of different types of attachment but it makes sense..i think just from reading thus comment that I have anxious attachment and my boyfriend of a little over a year is very much avoidant, I'd say it's my biggest complaint with our relationship. I'm so glad I read this comment because I'm going to read the book you recommended. That makes so much sense!! Thank you!!
So sorry you’re hurting ❤️ easier said than done but focus on the positives and I hope you feel better soon!
Just an observation, you are so pretty! And you have a fun personality despite what you struggle with in terms of your mental issues. Break ups suck. Hang in there and I hope you feel a little better each day. ❤️
Well said Sara.
I wish I could meet a girl like you. Dealing with mental issues is part of life. Your such a great person. I have zero people in my life, so your vids are kinda great for me . Thank you!
i know how it hurts. i hope you’re doing better now. my boyfriend of 3 years and 6 months did this to me. we lived together. he cancelled our lease without telling me and broke up with me abruptly and never ever explained why. i also have mental illnesses and my ex knew that and still did that to me. i know how much this hurts being ghosted by someone u thought u knew so well and were so close with. you’re lucky you didn’t have children w him or dated him longer. he sounds like a narcissist. it’s a blessing in disguise! you will find someone better. your story really hit home to me and made me not feel alone. i hope you’re doing better now and find someone better soon. you’re way too good for him. he will regret it.
At 19:00 I felt compelled to comment.
YOU are not responsible for ANYONE else's feelings.
It is NOT your job to anticipate and accommodate someone, or change yourself.
BREAKUPS happen for very obvious reasons, no matter that it never feels right, and when someone does NOT accept you, it is NOT your fault. Your feelings happen because we all want to know why, and how we should have done things differently.
Breakups suck, they are painful and when they actually happen, then the relationship is and maybe was
always broken.
Take care we love you. We understand how much you care, and love.
So sorry to hear. I hope you're feeling better about things soon ❤
Do you think that maybe it was hard for him to be the person you wanted him to be. Anyone can pretend to be the perfect guy for six weeks but it wears, so maybe he was not so perfect in real life
silverlom60 been through this.
I dated a guy with addiction issues, his illness brought out mine and made my mental illness worse.
Sorry to hear this, Katie. Thinking of you at this difficult time. Lots of love!
I know it's hard but in reality people don't owe you explanations. If he chose to call it quits and go then you just have to move on. I wouldn't have even texted him about the concert tickets but you probably just wanted to hear from him which I get. When you ask him to get together to talk I can imagine it's because you think you might have a better chance of changing his mind if you can talk face to face but don't ever chase after someone when they are done like that. The second you see someone might not be as into it as you are it's time to move on and not waste your time because you deserve people in your life who want to be there.
You are a beatiful girl I watched your video once and I don't subscribe to alot of youtube video makers, but I had to subscribe to you. Listen I'm not too good at this I don't know how old this video is I don't know if you're dating again but the number one thing is communication I've been married for 24 years and if he the right guy for you he qould have taken the time to discuss what was bothering him,.. he didn't care about the relationship enough to change or give you a chance to work on the issue. It hurts but It'll get better. The right guy is out there waiting for you so keep making your videos keep making us laugh and smile..you are awesome God bless you and we all love you take care.
gould3524 but dude, should be accountable for your actions, for dating/leading someone on because you couldn’t be truthful.
Starbucks is the answer. No matter what the question is, #Starbucks is the answer.☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Psssst, you there, in the comments, have a Starbucks☕️
Two of A kind now I'm going to have to have a Starbucks. But tomorrow. Because it's far and I'm lazy. Ha.
I am so addicted to Starbucks and this comment just feuled my addiction lol
My nearest Starbucks is an hour away 😭
A L wow
😂 drinking one now while looking at the comments! Starbucks heals all wounds!!!
You know what? Everyone has some form of mental illness and I am 60, and have never been married. I believe if I'm supposed to have someone, they will come along. I had 2 beautiful sons and they are my everything. If not, just be happy and peaceful with who you are. God put you here for a reason, so take faith and surity in Our Lord, that his arms are wrapped around you. AND....you have all of US!!!
It's healthy to talk about your problems. We're here and we support you. Love you!
Thank you! Love you!
Saint 9232 If you are ever in Rochester Minnesota,your more than welcome at my house. 🙏 Your heart ♥️ heals quickly
why are you looking for a stable, serious relationship when you don't even have a stable place to live? makes no sense. you need to get help and stop living in your car. it's not sustainable. what's going to happen when you get older? you don't have any kids to take care of you and you have no home or roots put down anywhere so there are no neighbors or friends that can help you either. you can't be 80 years old doing this. start thinking about long-term in other areas of your life and maybe your relationships will fall in line too.
Break ups are shite. This will happen again. Doesn't matter what's been said. People lie. People change their mind. Just got to get on with it. Sorry. You'll be fine.
Lucy Bamford my aunt says, “It’ll be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it WILL be okay.”
Wow soooo helpful
Hi Katie, I have been following you for about a month and this is my first comment. I don't usually comment on anything anymore because someone always has something to say to the contrary or whatever..but I felt moved to comment. I have worked with people who have mental illness of all types and degrees. I am not a therapist nor am I going to analyze this or you. Just speaking from a man's perspective. I think he really did care for you and felt that he understood fully people who are dealing with mental issues. He may have gotten overwhelmed and did not realize that people can get worse over time or that issues just don't go away. You appear to be such a very loving person and show that in this video and also that you have a beautiful heart and know what it takes to be in a relationship and the importance of communication. We all want to know where we stand in another persons eyes. Everything you said I agree with and your feelings are valid. I am letting you know that people do care about your story and want only good things for you. :) I will continue to follow you with hopes of better days ahead. Stay strong!!!! Derrick
You hurt because you r so sincere and your heart is so pure.
I am binge-watching. People are more alike than we realize. Let the tears come out. Great therapy.
Katie, I am sending you virtual hugs and prayers. You're a beautiful soul. 🦋
Do you sleep over with boyfriends a lot when dating because of your choice to live in your car? I’d have to say for me. If I was dating a girl with your living choice. I would want her to stay over often just because i would feel bad that the nights you didn’t stay you were sleeping in your car. Choice or not. Men sometimes feel like they have to rescue women. And that can be overwhelming.
Aerofan7 💯
That's my question as well
Couldn't agree more.
Can't help but wonder if that was one of his decisions on why he did what he did. He may have acted cool with it, and your lifestyle is your own business, however, some people do have a problem with the way others live, which sucks in and of itself. Please take care of yourself.
Most people prefer to not get involved with people with chronic health issues. I've delt with this myself. Focus on getting better and projecting that in daily life and the right guy will come around. Some guys can deal with it some cant.
People can feel a sense of connection immediately. It takes at least two years to even begin to really know someone.
Oh my gosh. I just finished the video and you just made more sense and had more UNDERSTANDING than most people I know. I feel the same about love, if you really love someone, you can't just stop. I just went through this with my x moving into my daughters a mile away and I am MARRIED. You have a good heart, it is obvious. Now, I'm going to go watch your recent videos, and see how you are doing now. You are in my prayers sis. Heather
Not really a " hit that thumbs up button" kind of video but I did because they say it helps your channel? I'm so sorry this happened to you, breakups are so heartbreaking and confusing. I hope you feel better soon.
You need to take care of you.
I learned not to be so needy that I'd beg them not to leave me. I started believing them the first time when they say 'it's over'. Best feeling is to say 'Fine. Next!!'
I dated my husband months before we considered ourselves 'boyfriend/girlfriend'. Then, when we did get engaged, we were for over 2 years before we got married. It was worth waiting. That way we knew it was long-lasting.
You are sad and are still processing this. It still hurts. Be gentle with yourself.
I was dumped for no reason.... it happens even to the more mentally stable ones. I honestly feel that you shouldn't be hard on yourself. I am the queen of hating men...being mean...and poor behaviour. I used to think there would be no one that can put up with me.... and finally I found someone who loves me just the way I am... I have improved through his love. There is someone for you.... and your mental health is important.....don't cry.... Hope you feel better.....love you girl.... keep doing you... No shame!!! Speak your truth!!!
It’s always the mysterious breakups that are the hardest because you can’t get closure.
Just know that you are smart, funny, and beautiful! It's ok to overreact, it's ok to cry, it's ok to have anxiety and depression. We can't control these things. It's ok to love even if it's only been 6 weeks. I hope you will be ok.
Hot but 'out there'; a common thing I see in van life. No judgment here how you live your life, but let's take a moment for a reality check: You live... in a car. You are outside all of the norms for the vast majority of people. And again, nothing wrong with that at all, and even something to be applauded to some degree. BUT, living that type of a life is a surefire way to attract people that are also outside of the norm. You can't expect to find a man that will meet 'normal' expectations when you live on the fringe. Enjoy living at the edge, and milk it for everything you can, but expecting that you will be able to have any expectation of normalcy in either relationships or life is a pipe-dream. (P.S. This story has strong indicators that he met someone else. Use that as energy to realize how he ended it was wrong, and move on with your life. Don't get into a relationship again right away. Take time off from a man and live with you and what you need. Allow yourself to not focus on him anymore and to move on. Take care of yourself.)
Exactly right
Well said.
Joe Akins What are some of the indicators that he met someone else? I’m about to rewatch this entire video because I didn’t catch those indicators anywhere. Mind to explain?