Ride To Hell: Retribution - ProJared

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  • Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
  • Worst Game Ever!? BUT IT'S GOT ALL THIS SEX IN IT!
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    ►Theme Song - "Goodbye Summer, Hello Winter" by FantomenK

КОМЕНТАРІ • 6 тис.

  • @SpaceHamsterGames
    @SpaceHamsterGames 8 років тому +994

    Good.

  • @trippfields279
    @trippfields279 8 років тому +815

    This game is clearly a masterpiece. Jared is simply to uncultured to appreciate it's intricate and complex plotlines, revolutionary controls, and deep romances.

    • @smegstar8527
      @smegstar8527 8 років тому +10

      HERE HERE !

    • @trippfields279
      @trippfields279 8 років тому +22

      SMEG STAR U mean honestly, iv never played anything like it. The romances and storyline are truly one of a kind. And the controls? Your life will never be the same.

    • @trippfields279
      @trippfields279 8 років тому +14

      Daniel Skybin The struggle is real. How this game failed to win game of the year is truly mind boggling.

    • @sayr8843
      @sayr8843 7 років тому +5

      Yeah man, women do prostitution to feel loved....that's so complex! Jared is so ignorant :/

    • @lunarnocturne
      @lunarnocturne 7 років тому +17

      Sonic '06 is has an amazing storyline that people seem to hate for some reason. It also has the most amazing controls in a Sonic game. People don't understand.

  • @TaliZVasTyria
    @TaliZVasTyria 7 років тому +134

    12:55
    "You're the deviiiiil"
    And the nominee for best supporting voice actress goes to.....

  • @roronoa1243
    @roronoa1243 8 років тому +105

    6:31 I like to imagine that her jumpsuit has one of those butt flaps. You know, like on those old-timey pairs of long johns? It would explain why she's riding him backwards in the cutscene. ...Why am I trying to analyze this game?

    • @vladerag
      @vladerag 8 років тому +16

      masochism.

    • @LaineMann
      @LaineMann 8 років тому +3

      +The Hug Box This is so badly animated I can't be offended. I was laughing too hard to be insulted.

    • @IMCR8Z
      @IMCR8Z 8 років тому +5

      Too late, ProJared already thought that when he talked about this in his Worst of 2013 list.

    • @dragonempress8367
      @dragonempress8367 8 років тому +5

      thank you for putting that horrifying image in my head.

  • @chimaeraarts
    @chimaeraarts 8 років тому +41

    NUH UH, JARED, YOU ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME FOR US

  • @SlitherLament
    @SlitherLament 5 років тому +17

    My marathon of rewatching, liking, and commenting on every Jared video continues. Video 34

  • @swolie
    @swolie 8 років тому +241

    The best friends Zaibatsu would like to have a word with you about beating this game AND it's DLC
    because they did beat it, ALL of it

    • @SpectralSlugger
      @SpectralSlugger 8 років тому +2

      That's what I said, Cept I just said Matt and pat

    • @shaungibson4527
      @shaungibson4527 8 років тому +37

      This has DLC!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    • @SpectralSlugger
      @SpectralSlugger 8 років тому +2

      +Shaun Gibson yea. It involves nukes

    • @swolie
      @swolie 8 років тому +36

      Shaun Gibson Yeah, an army guy wants to nuke the game world, can't blame him.

    • @shaungibson4527
      @shaungibson4527 8 років тому +19

      Bruda Ezeekiel I can't blame him either.

  • @gamerguy0358
    @gamerguy0358 8 років тому +10

    An open world biker gang game would have been really cool! But no. We got this.

  • @nickcage7449
    @nickcage7449 5 років тому +24

    Just doing my job of commenting and upvoting the video :)

  • @manadrivexl
    @manadrivexl 8 років тому +13

    Oh, so we're beating this dead horse again? I'll go get the bat.

    • @ThePickleBehindTheSlaughter
      @ThePickleBehindTheSlaughter 8 років тому

      +Box of Cox Dead cow
      OR should i say
      DEAD MIKEY XDDDDD

    • @marcstuart5250
      @marcstuart5250 8 років тому +3

      the boot will do

    • @TheRagerD
      @TheRagerD 8 років тому

      +Box of Cox Yes. Now hush lord Jared is speaking...

    • @leguan278
      @leguan278 8 років тому +1

      +Box of Cox found mine.... lets start...

  • @Stevierayt
    @Stevierayt 8 років тому +28

    Jared using some Runescape music in the background @1:40? ...interesting

    • @playmoshi124
      @playmoshi124 8 років тому +2

      Foreshadowing?

    • @Drilling4mana
      @Drilling4mana 8 років тому

      +Stevie Thompson Hell yeah!

    • @TheSilentGamerYTO
      @TheSilentGamerYTO 8 років тому

      +Stevie Thompson I noticed this as well, lmao

    • @stevenglansburg856
      @stevenglansburg856 8 років тому

      +Stevie Thompson fat ugly nerd knows runescape of course

    • @tomerilan4647
      @tomerilan4647 8 років тому

      +Stevie Thompson He also used Runescape music in the D&D month.

  • @AntiHeroDraws
    @AntiHeroDraws 7 років тому

    as someone who lived in texas his entire life, "more road construction then there is in all of texas" made me audibly say "Oh jesus"

  • @vitreouspie12
    @vitreouspie12 4 роки тому +1

    “Mmmm yeah! These chicks press their faces against his jeans so hard that it sucks the soul out of him!”

  • @Euroviking86
    @Euroviking86 6 років тому

    The sarcastic commentary during the fights was killing me XD

  • @CheezVT
    @CheezVT 8 років тому +4

    Matt and Pat from Two Best Friends Play beat it. They kinda had to.

  • @ilikecurry2345
    @ilikecurry2345 7 років тому

    Pro Jared Country 3: Brutal Moose's Double Trouble! - Stilts and Strides

  • @CrossHolder92
    @CrossHolder92 8 років тому +1417

    Am I the only one who thinks that ProJared looks like a `90s sitcom character?

    • @bodacious44
      @bodacious44 8 років тому +1

      No

    • @vicegirlsusa
      @vicegirlsusa 8 років тому +14

      +CrossHolder92 -- CUT--IT--OUT!

    • @alexanderpcolinsky5178
      @alexanderpcolinsky5178 8 років тому +8

      +CrossHolder92 holy sheets, your right

    • @shaneyy__
      @shaneyy__ 8 років тому

      +Temmie HOI ITSH TEMMIE HEWAH!
      idk why I just wanted to get a good laugh at Undertale.

    • @zachzerfoss8800
      @zachzerfoss8800 8 років тому +3

      +CrossHolder92 you are not alone my freind

  • @TheAssOfEternity
    @TheAssOfEternity 8 років тому +3151

    I beat this game.
    Against a wall. Then I lit it on fire and sent it to Hell.

    • @elroyscout
      @elroyscout 8 років тому +39

      I would have called in that space gun from call of duty ghosts... But that works

    • @ingamingpc1634
      @ingamingpc1634 8 років тому +25

      throw it out the airlock

    • @jacobwillis7596
      @jacobwillis7596 8 років тому +33

      Not even the depths of the Pit disserve this .

    • @standeryck7477
      @standeryck7477 8 років тому +49

      silly commenter...
      you cant send hell to hell!

    • @Hiroku1998
      @Hiroku1998 8 років тому +38

      +singeplays No, but you can send a Ride To Hell

  • @joeassante5420
    @joeassante5420 7 років тому +3670

    I was the voice of Jake Conway. I had heard the game never came out, but I have to tell you that now I will proudly put this on my resume. This review was great and brought back a lot of memories. Thanks again.

    • @seamoose9039
      @seamoose9039 6 років тому +488

      Sorry man.

    • @ilikecurry2345
      @ilikecurry2345 6 років тому +197

      You serious.

    • @sinisteroglop
      @sinisteroglop 6 років тому +255

      What an absolute legend!

    • @General_C
      @General_C 6 років тому +132

      Dude, bad luck.

    • @lennyhulsmans7645
      @lennyhulsmans7645 6 років тому +278

      With what you were given, the voice acting was actually not that bad? Apart from when Mikey dies, but hey, who knows what you were given. I commend you!

  • @brutalmoose
    @brutalmoose 8 років тому +864

    YOU'RE THE DEVIIIiiiIIiiIIIL!!

  • @projared
    @projared  8 років тому +2959

    GIVE 'EM THE BOOT

    • @amanmundi2000
      @amanmundi2000 8 років тому +1

      +ProJared Don't blame ya

    • @raymond8604
      @raymond8604 8 років тому +20

      RIGHT IN THE FRUIT!!!!

    • @xophis2
      @xophis2 8 років тому +1

      +ProJared DAS BOOOOOOOOOOT!

    • @cuckoophendula8211
      @cuckoophendula8211 8 років тому +4

      +ProJared
      Awwwww yeah, new ProJared...and it's for Ride to Hell?!?!!

    • @notsoh7437
      @notsoh7437 8 років тому +4

      Did you cut your hair? Or just restyle it? Well, either way, you're awesome, Jared! ^.^

  • @deathhzrd
    @deathhzrd 8 років тому +662

    Some 8 year old: "OH HEY NEW PROJARED HE WAS ON A DISNEY CHANNEL SHOW!!"
    *the kid plays the video"
    Jared: "masochism…"

    • @jamesoliver9278
      @jamesoliver9278 8 років тому +80

      *Nickelodeon

    • @crazyluigi6664
      @crazyluigi6664 8 років тому +86

      +MirumExMachina Top 10 Dicks In Video Games (Uncensored)

    • @MiloTheMightyDude
      @MiloTheMightyDude 8 років тому +17

      +Crazy Luigi NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-Ni-NICKELODEON!!!

    • @deathhzrd
      @deathhzrd 8 років тому

      James Oliver big diference

    • @teetee1640
      @teetee1640 8 років тому +21

      +MirumExMachina It really is a big difference though

  • @rinke703
    @rinke703 7 років тому +831

    8:10 - 9:47
    "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." If Ride to Hell exemplified any philosophical teachings, truly this would be it.

  • @halflifefreak12
    @halflifefreak12 8 років тому +986

    ProJared is the only man that I know that can provide a solid 3 minutes of pure sarcasm about kicking dudes.

    • @josephschultz3301
      @josephschultz3301 5 років тому +47

      While the whole video is gold, that part is easily the best.

    • @spideylover2000
      @spideylover2000 5 років тому +7

      And much longer with sending nudes.

    • @spagandhi
      @spagandhi 5 років тому +9

      It’s not the only thing he was sarcastic about

    • @jaimesilva4483
      @jaimesilva4483 5 років тому +24

      TheKingofIdiots proof? Oh yeah that’s right you don’t have any proof you fucking dumbass

    • @jaimesilva4483
      @jaimesilva4483 5 років тому +25

      Spagandhi and you weren’t sarcastic when you believed 2 idiots falsely accusing projared of being and infidele

  • @GodOfThings
    @GodOfThings 8 років тому +1132

    I must strongly disagree. Nothing has more construction than Texas.

  • @YOM2_UB
    @YOM2_UB 8 років тому +1115

    Remember when a Grand Theft Auto game got pulled from shelves because modders unlocked a fully clothed dry humping minigame that was not at all intended to be accessible? I feel it's a fitting thing to bring up.

    • @YOM2_UB
      @YOM2_UB 8 років тому +29

      ***** Indeed

    • @lamfan3591
      @lamfan3591 7 років тому +87

      Even that scene is way more pleasant than the ones shown here in ride to hell....
      I really wish I didn't know that

    • @WH250398
      @WH250398 6 років тому +79

      Also shows how ignorant those anti-game activists are. This game is far more insulting than Grand Theft Auto. They just like to complain about GTA because it's popular. Ride To Hell isn't even rated M! It's rated T! At least kids aren't allowed to buy GTA!

    • @russellbrown6888
      @russellbrown6888 6 років тому +49

      Actual sex in games still isn't common, but people have become somewhat desensitized to it thanks to games like Wolfenstein: The New Order, The Witcher series and the Mass Effect series. However, in those games, it's done in good taste and helps with both character and plot development. Ride to Hell is like a clothed sex fetish porno.

    • @22ninja1
      @22ninja1 6 років тому +11

      WH250398 Ride to Hell is M-rated since not only for the shitty and fully clothed dry humping sex scenes but it has a lot of blood and some minimal gore like shooting somebodies brains out, brutally beating down people with a knife and wrench, and strong language but the game is still shit no matter what.

  • @passengersplace
    @passengersplace 8 років тому +145

    Did nobody else notice the abandoned Boeing 727s and Lockheed L-1011s in the airplane graveyard? At the time this game was set, the first plane was brand new and the second hadn't been invented yet! Those are some wasteful time travelers...

    • @aaronthomas2789
      @aaronthomas2789 7 років тому +18

      passengersplace The fact that you noticed that anachronism with the L-1011 is pretty cool.

    • @zyzzy-ko4ww
      @zyzzy-ko4ww 4 роки тому +5

      This crazy nonsensical excuse for a video is such a pathetic joke that which abandoned airplanes are in the airplane graveyard is honestly the least of its woes.

  • @pushinguproses
    @pushinguproses 8 років тому +376

    "Nuh uh Jared I actually beat this-" "YOU'RE LYING." That cracked me up. On point. This game reminds me of a really crappy, completely ruined Full Throttle if it had gone 3D. Damn, especially the fighting on the bikes, that's nearly identical. Geez, even the premise is VERY Full Throttle-y. And also, thank you for the plug, Jared! :D Now even more people can be subjected to Girl In The Tower.

    • @Otis_.
      @Otis_. 8 років тому +2

      +PushingUpRoses Tell ya the truth. I did beat this game and I got over it. It only took 2 hours and 30 minutes to beat. Namely because of the broken gameplay.

    • @dontblattme7227
      @dontblattme7227 8 років тому

      +PushingUpRoses I can actually do that voice xD

    • @raykerollis3735
      @raykerollis3735 8 років тому +1

      Yo its pushing up roses. Looks like the coolest kid in schools.here

    • @petemadrona2252
      @petemadrona2252 8 років тому +2

      I actually feel ashamed that I like wearing what Jake wears.
      Not that it happened with me seeing RTH before wearing sleeveless maong jackets on top of tight shirts, believe me, that happened way before I saw the review done by AngryJoe.
      They could've done a lot more with this game, as an open-world RPG where you do play as a biker. But Deep Silver is known for rolling in the deep too much that they don't find any gold. Instead they come back up to the surface with an assload of shit

    • @HarunoMaxwell6115
      @HarunoMaxwell6115 6 років тому

      PushingUpRoses So this is if Akira got a new game at this time.... I would like it if it were a well executed RPG, side scroller like the cancelled one, or directed by Telltale. If not, then fan games...... If not read the mangas or watch the movie.

  • @slenderminion2229
    @slenderminion2229 8 років тому +640

    I think i know why it took so long for this video to come out. It must've taken ProJared ages to record for the Fighting-Ring segment, because he couldn't keep a straight face for most of the time.

    • @Vojingamer
      @Vojingamer 8 років тому +3

      xDDDDDDD

    • @JumpinJac
      @JumpinJac 8 років тому +35

      No it took ages to record the fighting ring segment because it was so hard

    • @andrewlyon8924
      @andrewlyon8924 8 років тому +56

      It was so he could master the different fighting techniques, learn his opponents' strategies, and use what he learned to spam kick them to death!

    • @SimonJSlou
      @SimonJSlou 8 років тому +9

      I think it was because of all the glitches killing him or making him reset or something like that

  • @scissorman44
    @scissorman44 8 років тому +134

    So...it's a game so bad it's not even good at being sexist?
    That's quite an achievement.

  • @kingishking
    @kingishking 8 років тому +471

    UR THA DEVUUUUUUUUL

    • @brandonnetwork
      @brandonnetwork 8 років тому +36

      Tommy Wiseau would be proud of that line.

    • @roach9397
      @roach9397 8 років тому +17

      10/10 best profile picture.

    • @masterofthelag8414
      @masterofthelag8414 8 років тому

      Bruh, stay cool

    • @brandonnetwork
      @brandonnetwork 8 років тому

      +Talos Stormcrown
      Are you talking to me?

    • @kingishking
      @kingishking 8 років тому

      Brandon Smith Either you or me. It wouldn't be the first time someones made a reference to jontron after I comment.

  • @SlyRocko
    @SlyRocko 8 років тому +408

    NUH, JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME

    • @sheyko6090
      @sheyko6090 8 років тому +14

      LIAR!!!111

    • @FlameHidden
      @FlameHidden 8 років тому +19

      +Sly Rocko (Ascetic) Didn't the Best Friends beat this game AND the DLC?

    • @KyriosJones
      @KyriosJones 8 років тому +16

      +Adresadini it involves the evil bikers stealing a nuke from the US military. I'm not joking

    • @bandidostar
      @bandidostar 8 років тому +8

      You're LYING

    • @SlyRocko
      @SlyRocko 8 років тому

      +TheQwertzor oh

  • @thecorniestlemur7969
    @thecorniestlemur7969 8 років тому +782

    NUH UH, JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME (I really did, don't know why)

    • @smegstar8527
      @smegstar8527 8 років тому +39

      ouchies im sorry

    • @biraptor6205
      @biraptor6205 8 років тому +153

      YOU'RE LYING!

    • @elroyscout
      @elroyscout 8 років тому +42

      You need a shoulder to cry on...

    • @LordDinosaur
      @LordDinosaur 8 років тому +41

      *slides a copy of Tales of Symphonia across a conveniently placed table*
      Would this help?

    • @Carbonated__Milk
      @Carbonated__Milk 8 років тому +5

      +LordDinosaur Zestiria is better

  • @acefenton3967
    @acefenton3967 8 років тому +525

    8:03-9:54
    The longest laugh I've ever had. That was hilarious.

  • @jacksonheadley6203
    @jacksonheadley6203 8 років тому +483

    The boxing rin! I'm dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @DonSMDT
    @DonSMDT 8 років тому +147

    "They're clothed so hard it stabs through her arm!"
    -ProJared 2016

  • @FriedSoup
    @FriedSoup 7 років тому +540

    I like how almost every single woman in the game wears the same outfit of a crop top with a jean vest and booty jean shorts. Like there wasn't anything else in the collective closet in the universe for them to wear. Because real women dress like that on a regular basis, right?

    • @atalentlessidiot7872
      @atalentlessidiot7872 6 років тому +41

      In America, yes. But only the teenage-young adult females do that. It's really only half.

    • @nicklausbooks1593
      @nicklausbooks1593 6 років тому +10

      Define “real.”

    • @KinghtofZero00
      @KinghtofZero00 6 років тому +25

      Like the other guy said they're women who actually wear that on a daily basis but sometimes they like to change things up and wear a t-shirt and a short skirt instead.

    • @atalentlessidiot7872
      @atalentlessidiot7872 6 років тому +2

      KinghtofZero00 Basically anything the opposite of modest.

    • @anthonyburns5713
      @anthonyburns5713 6 років тому +43

      They all look like they just got done with their shift at hooters

  • @milomilovsky6173
    @milomilovsky6173 8 років тому +429

    NUH UH, JARED. I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME

  • @choclynolo3827
    @choclynolo3827 8 років тому +240

    To be fair, this game is equally as insulting to men as it is to women. I mean, every guy in the game is a sex addicted meathead that will brutally murder each other over petty shit.

    • @z0e898
      @z0e898 8 років тому +3

      Just like in real life!
      No wait...

    • @Marcelelias11
      @Marcelelias11 8 років тому +55

      This game is insulting to everyone.

    • @mcjaret5017
      @mcjaret5017 8 років тому +22

      This game is insulting to everyone. In fact, this game is so insulting that even people that don't have a clue if what it is are insulted by it.

    • @mcjaret5017
      @mcjaret5017 8 років тому +1

      +Mc Jaret of*

    • @scissorman44
      @scissorman44 8 років тому +2

      +Chocly Nolo Well, the game is devoid of common sense.

  • @CreepsMcPasta
    @CreepsMcPasta 8 років тому +80

    My favourite thing is the comment "oh god that was a lie these are not women these are soulless empty dolls" hidden in the tags of this video

    • @CreepsMcPasta
      @CreepsMcPasta 8 років тому +3

      +CreepsMcPasta I forgot to mention as well, that tag comes after the tag "women"

    • @SEiMEi_EXiSTS
      @SEiMEi_EXiSTS 3 роки тому +1

      I did not expect to see you in this comment section at all!

    • @Hwje1111
      @Hwje1111 2 роки тому

      Where did that comment go?

    • @andysee6996
      @andysee6996 8 місяців тому

      Can you even access the tags anymore?

  • @JoComeau696
    @JoComeau696 7 років тому +309

    Fly off to the right and explode!

    • @anirudhviswanathan3986
      @anirudhviswanathan3986 7 років тому +41

      JoComeau696 LOL. He's a man not a god comrade!!!

    • @JoComeau696
      @JoComeau696 7 років тому

      Anirudh Viswanathan Lol!

    • @titanstardx
      @titanstardx 7 років тому +38

      Godzilla is destroying the generators.
      The Generator is losing power.
      Godzilla is destroying the generators.
      The Generator is losing power.

    • @lucasbell4831
      @lucasbell4831 7 років тому +6

      JoComeau696 That's what my dick tends to do when I see a hot chick and try to hide my boner.

    • @jagannathbarman6712
      @jagannathbarman6712 7 років тому +1

      JoComeau696 dat looks good

  • @kenterminateddq5311
    @kenterminateddq5311 8 років тому +300

    I don't know about u guys but ProJared's review is betta than AngryJoe's review.

    • @ibro247
      @ibro247 8 років тому +7

      +kenterminatedbygoogle Good for you.

    • @YukiUzumaki78
      @YukiUzumaki78 8 років тому +16

      Nah.

    • @gamerazor247
      @gamerazor247 8 років тому

      Eh.

    • @Stacko1515
      @Stacko1515 8 років тому +32

      Everything is better than that spoiled entitled brat.

    • @forcebrand4678
      @forcebrand4678 8 років тому +26

      +kenterminatedbygoogle This was funny. Angry Joe's was funnier. And he also made good points.The haters can just "fly off to the right and explode!"

  • @stevefromlatvia79
    @stevefromlatvia79 5 років тому +168

    NUH UH, JARED. I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME

    • @starcode5000
      @starcode5000 5 років тому +47

      YOU'RE LYING!

    • @jeremyallen492
      @jeremyallen492 5 років тому +8

      Congrats, your willpower lasted a hell of a lot longer than most sane individuals could tolerate

    • @crackerjack0349
      @crackerjack0349 4 роки тому +6

      LIAR

  • @trilby3447
    @trilby3447 7 років тому +284

    Nearly 400 people disliked this video
    Nearly 400 people like this game

  • @ape_escape_2
    @ape_escape_2 8 років тому +342

    NUH UH JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME.

  • @cozymett4801
    @cozymett4801 8 років тому +83

    so first, i worked my way around the guy and made some complex moves,
    *KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK*
    and then, a lumberjack came! so i needed to use the best and most advance moves i had,
    *KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK*

  • @SolidSonicTH
    @SolidSonicTH 7 років тому +105

    According to the subtitles, "mechanic lady" is named Sarah but it never comes up. Her husband is just "Husband", though.

    • @DannyDog27
      @DannyDog27 5 років тому +10

      Cucklord
      Not anymore

    • @ChaseMC215
      @ChaseMC215 4 роки тому +3

      All because Jared is too dumb to turn on the subtitles.
      He didn't know that, he also didn't know that you can kill the creature that Shinok transforms into before you go through the portal in Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero.

    • @mattpace1026
      @mattpace1026 2 роки тому

      @@ChaseMC215 I'm sure he knew, but he hates anything he can't beat, so he has a bad habit of lying to make the game seem worse than it is.

  • @laggory
    @laggory 8 років тому +150

    8:09
    I love how Jared just suddenly became sarcastic during those fights.

    • @ecfr-01
      @ecfr-01 5 років тому +8

      I was dead thorough the entire fight section.

    • @mydjmode
      @mydjmode 5 років тому +3

      Waaaay to funny!

  • @itsallfunky4591
    @itsallfunky4591 8 років тому +169

    Little did he know that the Zaibatsu made a full playthrough of it.

  • @Zuko997
    @Zuko997 5 років тому +224

    I know someone probably already made this comment BUUUUUT...
    Jared took his ride to hell, but he had his RETRIBUTION!

    • @WhirlwindHeatAndFlash
      @WhirlwindHeatAndFlash 5 років тому +1

      did he really tho?

    • @Lancym
      @Lancym 4 роки тому +14

      @@WhirlwindHeatAndFlash Yes. Well if you want to think that he didn't then you're free to do so.

    • @fightingleaf
      @fightingleaf 4 роки тому +4

      @@Chad_Eldridge Retribution is pretty much just the paying back of what is owed, and in this case Jared got his retribution FROM his accusor by turning his situation around and making them look like the villain instead of himself.

  • @gulermo
    @gulermo 7 років тому +35

    so uhh, Jack doesn't has sex with his Dead brother's girlfriend right? RIGHT!?

  • @DrDoomerVonDoomguy
    @DrDoomerVonDoomguy 7 років тому +78

    I beat this game... by not playing it.

    • @josephcage7955
      @josephcage7955 7 років тому +13

      Brian Kay I beat this game
      with a hammer

    • @redrasegarden
      @redrasegarden 2 роки тому

      Dude….it’s the strategy as old as time…. WHY DIDN’T WE THINK OF THIS?!

  • @matthewcassar1395
    @matthewcassar1395 7 років тому +394

    This game would make a great AVGN episode

    • @sergeantjoe
      @sergeantjoe 7 років тому +24

      Mario fan28 imagine James's rage

    • @shawmp63
      @shawmp63 7 років тому +44

      Its like the game was programmed by a fucking spitball! I mean, were they sniffing the fumes from a motercycle.

    • @matthewcassar1395
      @matthewcassar1395 7 років тому +1

      Shawn Pollard Yeah!

    • @matthewcassar1395
      @matthewcassar1395 7 років тому +13

      Sargent Joe It would be intense, and he'd probably say ''What kind of f##ked up game is this!!??''

    • @PolarPhantom
      @PolarPhantom 7 років тому +56

      "This came out in 2013!?
      "How is this still happening, it should be illegal by now!"

  • @DanGatoPreto
    @DanGatoPreto 8 років тому +20

    12:53
    YOU'RE THE DEeeEeEVVvvVvVIIIiiiIiiIiiiIIIILLLLLL

  • @wwenetwork5
    @wwenetwork5 8 років тому +253

    NUH-UH JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME

    • @kingishking
      @kingishking 8 років тому +87

      YOU"RE LYING

    • @lightskindisgrace
      @lightskindisgrace 8 років тому

      u bish ima mlg at dis

    • @tonyrigorous
      @tonyrigorous 8 років тому +5

      YOURE LYING

    • @ZeroTar
      @ZeroTar 8 років тому +10

      YOU'RE LYING

    • @Sinderance_
      @Sinderance_ 8 років тому +19

      Is your profile pic Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

  • @ElToland
    @ElToland 6 років тому +52

    That kick spamming makes Ganondorf proud

  • @TheDemonicHorseman
    @TheDemonicHorseman 5 років тому +144

    The voice acting in this game makes Castlevania: Symphony of the Night's voice acting look Oscar worthy.

    • @zaneheaston8254
      @zaneheaston8254 4 роки тому +18

      The Demonic Horseman Comparing Symphony of the Night’s VA to Ride to Hell’s VA is an insult to Symphony of the Night

    • @TheDemonicHorseman
      @TheDemonicHorseman 4 роки тому +6

      @Zane Heaston
      Symphony of the Night is an awesome game, but the voice acting is atrocious.

    • @paulovinasrocha6166
      @paulovinasrocha6166 4 роки тому +10

      @@TheDemonicHorseman but funny atrocious

    • @Linkonpark100
      @Linkonpark100 4 роки тому +6

      YOU’RE THE DEVIIIIIL!

    • @psimaster
      @psimaster 4 роки тому +6

      at least SotN's voice acting was entertaining

  • @dominicaccardo8050
    @dominicaccardo8050 7 років тому +68

    The half of budget for this game was spent on the main guy's dog tags
    The budget was $10

  • @Gryzeus
    @Gryzeus 8 років тому +50

    Brilliant comedic writing. Loved this episode.

  • @popsodarootbeers
    @popsodarootbeers 8 років тому +119

    Now you gotta review the dlc!

    • @GabrielDeFariasGuilherme
      @GabrielDeFariasGuilherme 8 років тому +3

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • @SuperMandibleclaw
      @SuperMandibleclaw 8 років тому +42

      They actually made DLC for this crap?

    • @ToastyMozart
      @ToastyMozart 8 років тому +50

      +Mark Hirsch A guy working with the bikers find and steal a "nuke" from an abandoned army base, and Jake gets roped into helping so the higher-ups don't find out that Tyrell has been selling government property on the black market.
      It ends with the detonation of an "atomic bomb" about half a mile off the California coastline. And this is considered a happy ending. I couldn't make this shit up if I _tried._

    • @markhirsch6301
      @markhirsch6301 8 років тому

      ToastyMozart wow

    • @ToastyMozart
      @ToastyMozart 8 років тому +17

      ***** To quote JonTron: "I am sad that I lack the _talent_ to make this shit up."

  • @trainerwsm
    @trainerwsm 5 років тому +56

    He finally got his retribution

    • @fuzzyapplepie6940
      @fuzzyapplepie6940 4 роки тому +11

      He rode to hell, got retribution and rode back onto his road in the heavens next to other angels like Brutal moose, Space hamster, and PBG.

  • @HingyHandy
    @HingyHandy 8 років тому +142

    I haven't beaten this game and I have no intention to.

  • @yungtown
    @yungtown 8 років тому +45

    LOL. You go Jake. Fly that Kite.

    • @186067dc
      @186067dc 8 років тому +1

      everything's all right.

  • @jdjohnson1591
    @jdjohnson1591 8 років тому +8

    11:51 I'm the light bringer! I'M THE F@CKING UNIVERSE!!!

  • @Batfan103
    @Batfan103 8 років тому +103

    I love how Jared gets so sarcastic during the fight club bit.

    • @ilikecurry2345
      @ilikecurry2345 6 років тому +1

      iz funi cuz he just kicks

    • @ChaseMC215
      @ChaseMC215 4 роки тому +1

      The game was made under construction, like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5!

    • @derekstronf1837
      @derekstronf1837 4 роки тому +1

      With a game this bad, wouldn't you?

    • @Elite7555
      @Elite7555 4 роки тому

      Boy, I am laughing my ass off :D

  • @jier9904
    @jier9904 8 років тому +43

    As you can see, the fighting system is really complex and require a lot of thinking..

    • @lmao2302
      @lmao2302 7 років тому +5

      It got so complex I had to stop eating snacks while spamming one button.
      I spammed two.

  • @Bostaffninja88
    @Bostaffninja88 8 років тому +27

    Penetrative sex is definitly occurring. Because the whole time Jake looks like he's about to cry.

  • @famoussession7426
    @famoussession7426 7 років тому +100

    Fun Fact: Deep Silver went on to publish Mighty no 9. Now you know why that game sucks

    • @josephcage7955
      @josephcage7955 7 років тому +10

      The President please tell me you're kidding

    • @famoussession7426
      @famoussession7426 7 років тому +10

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mighty_No._9
      I wish

    • @WH250398
      @WH250398 6 років тому +6

      They also published Metro Last Light. They aren't bad all the time...

    • @tudor-paulbalan-tribus2914
      @tudor-paulbalan-tribus2914 6 років тому +3

      they also made the metro series,talk about a step up.

    • @LaineMann
      @LaineMann 6 років тому

      That game wasn't that bad.

  • @danieldodd8346
    @danieldodd8346 5 років тому +68

    Give those old comments the boot.

    • @goompo
      @goompo 5 років тому +5

      The _Normal_ Boot.

    • @DJ_Macphisto
      @DJ_Macphisto 5 років тому +3

      @@goompo I see what you did there.

    • @MikoyanGurevichMiG21
      @MikoyanGurevichMiG21 4 роки тому +3

      They have already disappeared. I wonder if the commenters deleted it themselves or Jared wiped them out.

    • @WillieManga
      @WillieManga 11 місяців тому

      .......... Heeeeeehh! :3@@goompo

  • @DreamcastGuy
    @DreamcastGuy 8 років тому +36

    Oh man, I never thought you would do this game! My day just got so much better!! :D

    • @beadyb.1781
      @beadyb.1781 8 років тому +1

      Just saw your comment on the #CUP

    • @Bassi3D
      @Bassi3D 2 роки тому

      same :D

  • @CurrieYT
    @CurrieYT 8 років тому +167

    WHAT IS THIS

    • @tomscheve4097
      @tomscheve4097 8 років тому +3

      ...ride to hell:retribution?

    • @CurrieYT
      @CurrieYT 8 років тому +1

      Tom Scheve
      oh

    • @tomscheve4097
      @tomscheve4097 8 років тому +1

      +CurriePlays it's inside information don't tell anyone ok?

    • @tomscheve4097
      @tomscheve4097 8 років тому

      +Gangstermixter so you're from india ;)

    • @GangstermixterGaming
      @GangstermixterGaming 8 років тому

      +Tom Scheve I was actually making a reference to Currieplays showing up on every channel ever but yeah, I'm from India lol

  • @Mainimi
    @Mainimi 8 років тому +59

    Wait, is that Punch Out music in the background of the boxing level?

    • @Theshockman240
      @Theshockman240 8 років тому

      nah that was the punch out music

    • @Theshockman240
      @Theshockman240 8 років тому

      +SenorJuan *theme music

    • @Theshockman240
      @Theshockman240 8 років тому

      +SenorJuan wait. shit. I thought you were talking about one punch man. fuck

    • @aidantaylor7846
      @aidantaylor7846 8 років тому +3

      +SenorJuan Your not alone, my friend....

    • @XiaoAndyPugMan
      @XiaoAndyPugMan 8 років тому +9

      Punch Out music when no punches were thrown at all.

  • @WillieManga
    @WillieManga 5 років тому +39

    Well, if I were to punish myself by playing a bad game Projared reviewed to make up for the stress we put him through, this would probably be the best one to do it with. After all, we made him ride to hell till he could finally get retribution. Over the course of a summer! Congrats, internet; we ruined his summer!

  • @GooberGamer
    @GooberGamer 8 років тому +55

    8:10 to 9:47
    Best part of the whole video. Sarcasm was off the charts.

  • @horesfan400
    @horesfan400 8 років тому +301

    2:40
    Jake has PSI

  • @DoctorLazers
    @DoctorLazers 8 років тому +29

    To be fair, Jake's sexism makes perfect sense. This is set in the late '60s. A woman working as a mechanic would be pretty weird in that era and a man commenting on it would be pretty normal.
    Fuck, why am I defending this fucking game!?

    • @papakari8398
      @papakari8398 8 років тому +2

      Why ARE you defending this game? O.o

    • @BardicGM
      @BardicGM 8 років тому +4

      +DoctorLazers because Jared should consider cont in his criticism even if he's reviewing something awful he should be held to his normal review standard and acknowledge the context of the game's setting? choosing to ignore context is lazy at best disingenuous at worst.

    • @redrasegarden
      @redrasegarden 2 роки тому

      Probably a natural reaction for us to find something either good or reasonable.

    • @nsullivan9096
      @nsullivan9096 2 роки тому

      @Suteko Super old but I'm making my way through Jareds Reviews again-
      Biker Culture was and still is sexist as hell, especially white biker culture. Funny enough I would say the sexism is the least offensive thing about the world building based on that. Jake's attitude is still garbage, but it's accurate gabage.

  • @sarahvilardi3071
    @sarahvilardi3071 5 років тому +45

    YAY I CAN LAUGH AT THIS VIDEO AGAIN!

  • @LuriTV
    @LuriTV 8 років тому +76

    So he is not going to bang his brothers girlfriend?

    • @mastermarkus5307
      @mastermarkus5307 8 років тому +28

      +LuriTV
      Shockingly, he doesn't.

    • @vladerag
      @vladerag 8 років тому +33

      she's not into dry humping apparently.

    • @z0e898
      @z0e898 8 років тому +42

      You'll have to buy the dlc for that
      Lol

    • @catholicluigi1309
      @catholicluigi1309 8 років тому

      I am shocked

    • @iamstewpit6740
      @iamstewpit6740 7 років тому +4

      +LuriTV But was it good for you?

  • @gothiccornila8858
    @gothiccornila8858 8 років тому +17

    "The sex was so good, that Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes" I died laughing! Best review yet!

  • @Harune_dot_exe0
    @Harune_dot_exe0 5 років тому +25

    Been binge watching his vids. Now seeing all the negative comments of people who did know the whole story and just started attacking him. I've been a big fan not everyone is perfect. I was thinking of commenting positive things.to drown out the negative ones. Not sure if this is a good thing. But yeah dude you do some good reviews. I hope things get better.

  • @tazzreviews1578
    @tazzreviews1578 8 років тому +90

    NUH-UH JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME comment #374

    • @RobertPlays
      @RobertPlays 7 років тому +22

      Tyler Shewchuk YOU'RE LYING! comment #5000

    • @qwertybear.7120
      @qwertybear.7120 6 років тому +2

      YOU'RE LYING!!! Number infinity.

  • @Mae_is_gae
    @Mae_is_gae 8 років тому +30

    so you want to... finish the game? making you... a finishist? projirard?

  • @KennethEspericueta340
    @KennethEspericueta340 8 років тому +25

    This game is trying to be GTA,The Witcher and Batman Arkham at the same time but lacks What makes those games great

    • @fuzzyapplepie6940
      @fuzzyapplepie6940 3 роки тому +3

      GTA and Arkham make sense, but what part of this is trying to be the witcher?

    • @KennethEspericueta340
      @KennethEspericueta340 3 роки тому +2

      @@fuzzyapplepie6940 having a lead with long hair and brooding personality

  • @shawmp63
    @shawmp63 7 років тому +22

    Electrified fence? Damn it all! The only thing my kick technique won't beat!

  • @spyrellephea1105
    @spyrellephea1105 8 років тому +68

    There's DLC for this game.

    • @KaibaSeto.
      @KaibaSeto. 8 років тому +12

      +BRANDON JENSEN Because theres man's that just want to see the world burning

    • @Powered1Buttercup
      @Powered1Buttercup 7 років тому +1

      I'm guessing with more of the same crap as the main game except you have to pay more to play it.

    • @jpower1983
      @jpower1983 7 років тому +3

      Some me just want to watch the world burn

    • @dellebelphine-moralez3510
      @dellebelphine-moralez3510 7 років тому +3

      pfffffbahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! xD

    • @intergalactichumanempire9759
      @intergalactichumanempire9759 7 років тому +3

      Spyrelle Phea
      I looked it up, there is DLC.

  • @lightsideofsin8969
    @lightsideofsin8969 5 років тому +16

    "I love your dog tags, they're so sexy"
    "YOU'RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM!"
    That one really cracked me up :D

  • @jigsawb2298
    @jigsawb2298 8 років тому +72

    Which game is worse Ride to Hell Retribution or Drake of the 99 Dragons?

    • @KaibaSeto.
      @KaibaSeto. 8 років тому +71

      Drake of 99 rides to hell Dragobution

    • @jigsawb2298
      @jigsawb2298 8 років тому +6

      Seto Kaiba That's a really funny way of putting it. I guess both are equally terrible.

    • @KaibaSeto.
      @KaibaSeto. 8 років тому +17

      Jigsaw B You as Jigsaw should force the people to clearing both in one of your torture games

    • @jigsawb2298
      @jigsawb2298 8 років тому +9

      Seto Kaiba That and listen to Navi at the same time.

    • @Nathan-ob2gh
      @Nathan-ob2gh 7 років тому +1

      Jigsaw B Haha, I actually just watched that.

  • @sebastiancintron29
    @sebastiancintron29 7 років тому +23

    I've never met anyone who liked this game.
    If there is someone that does, may God forgive you, for you know not what you say.

    • @ronburgundy244
      @ronburgundy244 5 років тому

      I have a feeling anyone who does like to play, does it for the laughs.

    • @grimdarkAngel
      @grimdarkAngel 5 років тому +1

      There is someone in the comments actually defending this game, and some of the replies on that comment are defending it too, and some replies are defending Sonic 06 and Sonic Boom. What a bunch of delusional fools.

    • @pikapower_kirby
      @pikapower_kirby 3 роки тому

      @@grimdarkAngel Sonic 06 has two redeeming factors- being stupid/ making no sense, and the SnapCube fandub of it.

  • @jacobwillis7596
    @jacobwillis7596 7 років тому +110

    I'm pretty sure Angry Joe beat it .

    • @leemcdonald1342
      @leemcdonald1342 7 років тому +58

      He's lying.

    • @RarefoilB
      @RarefoilB 7 років тому +26

      Jacob Willis | Also, Yahtzee talked about the plot points from the finale.

    • @rjordanv2375
      @rjordanv2375 7 років тому +6

      Jacob Willis yup he spend 21 hours in it to find something good about it

    • @PissedGrunty
      @PissedGrunty 7 років тому +1

      Maybe, and look how much damage that did!

    • @qwertybear.7120
      @qwertybear.7120 6 років тому

      YOU'RE LYING!!!!!!!

  • @lancecho628
    @lancecho628 8 років тому +25

    If I had this game, I would've beaten it... with a baseball bat.

  • @Pikalu12
    @Pikalu12 8 років тому +25

    The Two Best Friends beat the game. No lie.

    • @soupysoup9340
      @soupysoup9340 8 років тому +4

      Can confirm. Somehow watched that playthrough twice without losing all will to live.

  • @PrincessFelicie
    @PrincessFelicie 7 років тому +33

    The boxing ring part is probably the best thing I've ever seen.

  • @jaievans6655
    @jaievans6655 8 років тому +53

    4:22 The front cover of Uncharted 3

    • @tweekbros3273
      @tweekbros3273 8 років тому

      +FloSo Antonibro I won't lie, you comment was cool

    • @spyrellephea1105
      @spyrellephea1105 8 років тому +1

      +FloSo Antonibro NOSE.

    • @connorcorn7309
      @connorcorn7309 8 років тому +1

      +Rhymoth massagenistic?

    • @connorcorn7309
      @connorcorn7309 8 років тому

      Rhymoth what?

    • @spyrellephea1105
      @spyrellephea1105 8 років тому

      Rhymoth
      Just to be clear, it's spelt "misogyny" and it's defined as "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women." I don't know where you got your definition, but please back it up when talking about such things.

  • @emperorfaiz
    @emperorfaiz 5 років тому +9

    I'm just here to read and laugh on a bunch of old comments that don't aged well after his latest video.

  • @KyoSunbringer
    @KyoSunbringer 8 років тому +17

    9:55 I'm dying.
    I never laughed so hard at any shit "game mechanic" in my entire life.

  • @UnkoMunko
    @UnkoMunko 8 років тому +23

    Two Best Friends beat this game and the DLC. Yes, there was DLC and yes, I just wanted to tell you out of spite.

    • @9123498765
      @9123498765 8 років тому +1

      +Vox Tartarus I loved that playthrough.

    • @golbezdarkness4612
      @golbezdarkness4612 8 років тому +2

      Two best friends are the best!! :D

    • @SuperPrinnyDood
      @SuperPrinnyDood 8 років тому

      they're the reasons i heard about this game.
      theirs and inside gaming had the best playthrus of this garbage.

    • @Blacknight8850
      @Blacknight8850 8 років тому

      +Vox Tartarus And yet they couldn't handle Drake of the 99 Dragons, which Jared beat!

  • @BigMarcello100
    @BigMarcello100 8 років тому +13

    *Warning! Bad Joke incoming*
    Whoa the boot is a powerful weapon. I bet those aren´t *normal boots*

  • @UniversalJuan
    @UniversalJuan 3 роки тому +13

    Had to swing by this classic after seeing Scott's. Both are great reviews for different reasons!

  • @n00dl3gal
    @n00dl3gal 8 років тому +8

    7:28: you can see at the top of the screen "Reclaim Sarah's ring from her ex-husband." So technically, Mechanic Lady does have a name.
    ...the game is still a misogynistic piece of crap though.

    • @n00dl3gal
      @n00dl3gal 8 років тому +1

      +Joe R Good point. Chauvinist, sure. Misogynistic, not so much. Disgusting as all hell, though.

  • @Ukiby3000
    @Ukiby3000 8 років тому +18

    "You're the deviiiiiiiiiil" is my favorite part of this video oh my God