I was the voice of Jake Conway. I had heard the game never came out, but I have to tell you that now I will proudly put this on my resume. This review was great and brought back a lot of memories. Thanks again.
With what you were given, the voice acting was actually not that bad? Apart from when Mikey dies, but hey, who knows what you were given. I commend you!
8:10 - 9:47 "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." If Ride to Hell exemplified any philosophical teachings, truly this would be it.
Remember when a Grand Theft Auto game got pulled from shelves because modders unlocked a fully clothed dry humping minigame that was not at all intended to be accessible? I feel it's a fitting thing to bring up.
Also shows how ignorant those anti-game activists are. This game is far more insulting than Grand Theft Auto. They just like to complain about GTA because it's popular. Ride To Hell isn't even rated M! It's rated T! At least kids aren't allowed to buy GTA!
Actual sex in games still isn't common, but people have become somewhat desensitized to it thanks to games like Wolfenstein: The New Order, The Witcher series and the Mass Effect series. However, in those games, it's done in good taste and helps with both character and plot development. Ride to Hell is like a clothed sex fetish porno.
WH250398 Ride to Hell is M-rated since not only for the shitty and fully clothed dry humping sex scenes but it has a lot of blood and some minimal gore like shooting somebodies brains out, brutally beating down people with a knife and wrench, and strong language but the game is still shit no matter what.
Did nobody else notice the abandoned Boeing 727s and Lockheed L-1011s in the airplane graveyard? At the time this game was set, the first plane was brand new and the second hadn't been invented yet! Those are some wasteful time travelers...
This crazy nonsensical excuse for a video is such a pathetic joke that which abandoned airplanes are in the airplane graveyard is honestly the least of its woes.
I think i know why it took so long for this video to come out. It must've taken ProJared ages to record for the Fighting-Ring segment, because he couldn't keep a straight face for most of the time.
"Nuh uh Jared I actually beat this-" "YOU'RE LYING." That cracked me up. On point. This game reminds me of a really crappy, completely ruined Full Throttle if it had gone 3D. Damn, especially the fighting on the bikes, that's nearly identical. Geez, even the premise is VERY Full Throttle-y. And also, thank you for the plug, Jared! :D Now even more people can be subjected to Girl In The Tower.
+PushingUpRoses Tell ya the truth. I did beat this game and I got over it. It only took 2 hours and 30 minutes to beat. Namely because of the broken gameplay.
I actually feel ashamed that I like wearing what Jake wears. Not that it happened with me seeing RTH before wearing sleeveless maong jackets on top of tight shirts, believe me, that happened way before I saw the review done by AngryJoe. They could've done a lot more with this game, as an open-world RPG where you do play as a biker. But Deep Silver is known for rolling in the deep too much that they don't find any gold. Instead they come back up to the surface with an assload of shit
PushingUpRoses So this is if Akira got a new game at this time.... I would like it if it were a well executed RPG, side scroller like the cancelled one, or directed by Telltale. If not, then fan games...... If not read the mangas or watch the movie.
All because Jared is too dumb to turn on the subtitles. He didn't know that, he also didn't know that you can kill the creature that Shinok transforms into before you go through the portal in Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero.
This game is clearly a masterpiece. Jared is simply to uncultured to appreciate it's intricate and complex plotlines, revolutionary controls, and deep romances.
SMEG STAR U mean honestly, iv never played anything like it. The romances and storyline are truly one of a kind. And the controls? Your life will never be the same.
Sonic '06 is has an amazing storyline that people seem to hate for some reason. It also has the most amazing controls in a Sonic game. People don't understand.
I like how almost every single woman in the game wears the same outfit of a crop top with a jean vest and booty jean shorts. Like there wasn't anything else in the collective closet in the universe for them to wear. Because real women dress like that on a regular basis, right?
Like the other guy said they're women who actually wear that on a daily basis but sometimes they like to change things up and wear a t-shirt and a short skirt instead.
so first, i worked my way around the guy and made some complex moves, *KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK* and then, a lumberjack came! so i needed to use the best and most advance moves i had, *KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK*
That zinger at Texas' road construction is totally accurate. You would think we're trying to build Starkiller Base with all the damn construction vehicles everywhere.
Well, if I were to punish myself by playing a bad game Projared reviewed to make up for the stress we put him through, this would probably be the best one to do it with. After all, we made him ride to hell till he could finally get retribution. Over the course of a summer! Congrats, internet; we ruined his summer!
To be fair, this game is equally as insulting to men as it is to women. I mean, every guy in the game is a sex addicted meathead that will brutally murder each other over petty shit.
6:31 I like to imagine that her jumpsuit has one of those butt flaps. You know, like on those old-timey pairs of long johns? It would explain why she's riding him backwards in the cutscene. ...Why am I trying to analyze this game?
@@Chad_Eldridge Retribution is pretty much just the paying back of what is owed, and in this case Jared got his retribution FROM his accusor by turning his situation around and making them look like the villain instead of himself.
Been binge watching his vids. Now seeing all the negative comments of people who did know the whole story and just started attacking him. I've been a big fan not everyone is perfect. I was thinking of commenting positive things.to drown out the negative ones. Not sure if this is a good thing. But yeah dude you do some good reviews. I hope things get better.
The fight club bit was easily the best part of this video by far! Your straight and serious tone, despite what's really going on screen, was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.
+Mark Hirsch A guy working with the bikers find and steal a "nuke" from an abandoned army base, and Jake gets roped into helping so the higher-ups don't find out that Tyrell has been selling government property on the black market. It ends with the detonation of an "atomic bomb" about half a mile off the California coastline. And this is considered a happy ending. I couldn't make this shit up if I _tried._
To be fair, Jake's sexism makes perfect sense. This is set in the late '60s. A woman working as a mechanic would be pretty weird in that era and a man commenting on it would be pretty normal. Fuck, why am I defending this fucking game!?
+DoctorLazers because Jared should consider cont in his criticism even if he's reviewing something awful he should be held to his normal review standard and acknowledge the context of the game's setting? choosing to ignore context is lazy at best disingenuous at worst.
@Suteko Super old but I'm making my way through Jareds Reviews again- Biker Culture was and still is sexist as hell, especially white biker culture. Funny enough I would say the sexism is the least offensive thing about the world building based on that. Jake's attitude is still garbage, but it's accurate gabage.
+Tabula Rasa Gaming Jared doesn't show it, but even after blowing up the dam to turn off the electricity, Jake jumps over the part of the fence made of bricks, with no electrified wire on it!
13:34 I love that bit: Jake shoved his fingers into Cesars eye sockets and despite the fact that Cesar clearly slumps back dead, in the following cutscene hes perfectly fine and drives his bike over the cliff, just for the fun of it. It is hilarious.
Rhymoth Just to be clear, it's spelt "misogyny" and it's defined as "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women." I don't know where you got your definition, but please back it up when talking about such things.
It seems that no matter how many times I've watched this video the sarcasm and delivery of the joke during the fight club portion is pretty much the best thing ever. I still laugh out loud over it and it's wonderful.
I was the voice of Jake Conway. I had heard the game never came out, but I have to tell you that now I will proudly put this on my resume. This review was great and brought back a lot of memories. Thanks again.
Sorry man.
You serious.
What an absolute legend!
Dude, bad luck.
With what you were given, the voice acting was actually not that bad? Apart from when Mikey dies, but hey, who knows what you were given. I commend you!
8:10 - 9:47
"I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." If Ride to Hell exemplified any philosophical teachings, truly this would be it.
Genius
This is a piece of work
i dont think bruce lee would be proud though
@@DarkoBellic234 he would probably sue
Damn
Remember when a Grand Theft Auto game got pulled from shelves because modders unlocked a fully clothed dry humping minigame that was not at all intended to be accessible? I feel it's a fitting thing to bring up.
***** Indeed
Even that scene is way more pleasant than the ones shown here in ride to hell....
I really wish I didn't know that
Also shows how ignorant those anti-game activists are. This game is far more insulting than Grand Theft Auto. They just like to complain about GTA because it's popular. Ride To Hell isn't even rated M! It's rated T! At least kids aren't allowed to buy GTA!
Actual sex in games still isn't common, but people have become somewhat desensitized to it thanks to games like Wolfenstein: The New Order, The Witcher series and the Mass Effect series. However, in those games, it's done in good taste and helps with both character and plot development. Ride to Hell is like a clothed sex fetish porno.
WH250398 Ride to Hell is M-rated since not only for the shitty and fully clothed dry humping sex scenes but it has a lot of blood and some minimal gore like shooting somebodies brains out, brutally beating down people with a knife and wrench, and strong language but the game is still shit no matter what.
ProJared is the only man that I know that can provide a solid 3 minutes of pure sarcasm about kicking dudes.
While the whole video is gold, that part is easily the best.
And much longer with sending nudes.
It’s not the only thing he was sarcastic about
TheKingofIdiots proof? Oh yeah that’s right you don’t have any proof you fucking dumbass
Spagandhi and you weren’t sarcastic when you believed 2 idiots falsely accusing projared of being and infidele
Good.
(Ribbit Ribbit)
exceptional
Heyyyy thats pretty good
This is a meaningless conversation
+SpaceHamster TIL Jeff loves seeing Jared suffer.
Am I the only one who thinks that ProJared looks like a `90s sitcom character?
No
+CrossHolder92 -- CUT--IT--OUT!
+CrossHolder92 holy sheets, your right
+Temmie HOI ITSH TEMMIE HEWAH!
idk why I just wanted to get a good laugh at Undertale.
+CrossHolder92 you are not alone my freind
I must strongly disagree. Nothing has more construction than Texas.
Cumberland Ave. Knoxville Tn. It looks like a war zone cause of construction.
Try Michigan
Especially this year, Brandon.
GodOfThings true, that.
GodOfThings Shall I introduce you to New Jersey?
Did nobody else notice the abandoned Boeing 727s and Lockheed L-1011s in the airplane graveyard? At the time this game was set, the first plane was brand new and the second hadn't been invented yet! Those are some wasteful time travelers...
passengersplace The fact that you noticed that anachronism with the L-1011 is pretty cool.
This crazy nonsensical excuse for a video is such a pathetic joke that which abandoned airplanes are in the airplane graveyard is honestly the least of its woes.
GIVE 'EM THE BOOT
+ProJared Don't blame ya
RIGHT IN THE FRUIT!!!!
+ProJared DAS BOOOOOOOOOOT!
+ProJared
Awwwww yeah, new ProJared...and it's for Ride to Hell?!?!!
Did you cut your hair? Or just restyle it? Well, either way, you're awesome, Jared! ^.^
YOU'RE THE DEVIIIiiiIIiiIIIL!!
it's more like
YOURE DA DEEVVOOOOOL
Hi, Brutalelk
Ride to hell
Perfect
Andrew Viewtieful Tachibana ...
I think i know why it took so long for this video to come out. It must've taken ProJared ages to record for the Fighting-Ring segment, because he couldn't keep a straight face for most of the time.
xDDDDDDD
No it took ages to record the fighting ring segment because it was so hard
It was so he could master the different fighting techniques, learn his opponents' strategies, and use what he learned to spam kick them to death!
I think it was because of all the glitches killing him or making him reset or something like that
"They're clothed so hard it stabs through her arm!"
-ProJared 2016
"Nuh uh Jared I actually beat this-" "YOU'RE LYING." That cracked me up. On point. This game reminds me of a really crappy, completely ruined Full Throttle if it had gone 3D. Damn, especially the fighting on the bikes, that's nearly identical. Geez, even the premise is VERY Full Throttle-y. And also, thank you for the plug, Jared! :D Now even more people can be subjected to Girl In The Tower.
+PushingUpRoses Tell ya the truth. I did beat this game and I got over it. It only took 2 hours and 30 minutes to beat. Namely because of the broken gameplay.
+PushingUpRoses I can actually do that voice xD
Yo its pushing up roses. Looks like the coolest kid in schools.here
I actually feel ashamed that I like wearing what Jake wears.
Not that it happened with me seeing RTH before wearing sleeveless maong jackets on top of tight shirts, believe me, that happened way before I saw the review done by AngryJoe.
They could've done a lot more with this game, as an open-world RPG where you do play as a biker. But Deep Silver is known for rolling in the deep too much that they don't find any gold. Instead they come back up to the surface with an assload of shit
PushingUpRoses So this is if Akira got a new game at this time.... I would like it if it were a well executed RPG, side scroller like the cancelled one, or directed by Telltale. If not, then fan games...... If not read the mangas or watch the movie.
Some 8 year old: "OH HEY NEW PROJARED HE WAS ON A DISNEY CHANNEL SHOW!!"
*the kid plays the video"
Jared: "masochism…"
*Nickelodeon
+MirumExMachina Top 10 Dicks In Video Games (Uncensored)
+Crazy Luigi NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-NI-Ni-NICKELODEON!!!
James Oliver big diference
+MirumExMachina It really is a big difference though
8:09
I love how Jared just suddenly became sarcastic during those fights.
I was dead thorough the entire fight section.
Waaaay to funny!
According to the subtitles, "mechanic lady" is named Sarah but it never comes up. Her husband is just "Husband", though.
Cucklord
Not anymore
All because Jared is too dumb to turn on the subtitles.
He didn't know that, he also didn't know that you can kill the creature that Shinok transforms into before you go through the portal in Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero.
@@ChaseMC215 I'm sure he knew, but he hates anything he can't beat, so he has a bad habit of lying to make the game seem worse than it is.
This game is clearly a masterpiece. Jared is simply to uncultured to appreciate it's intricate and complex plotlines, revolutionary controls, and deep romances.
HERE HERE !
SMEG STAR U mean honestly, iv never played anything like it. The romances and storyline are truly one of a kind. And the controls? Your life will never be the same.
Daniel Skybin The struggle is real. How this game failed to win game of the year is truly mind boggling.
Yeah man, women do prostitution to feel loved....that's so complex! Jared is so ignorant :/
Sonic '06 is has an amazing storyline that people seem to hate for some reason. It also has the most amazing controls in a Sonic game. People don't understand.
So...it's a game so bad it's not even good at being sexist?
That's quite an achievement.
NUH UH, JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME (I really did, don't know why)
ouchies im sorry
YOU'RE LYING!
You need a shoulder to cry on...
*slides a copy of Tales of Symphonia across a conveniently placed table*
Would this help?
+LordDinosaur Zestiria is better
I like how almost every single woman in the game wears the same outfit of a crop top with a jean vest and booty jean shorts. Like there wasn't anything else in the collective closet in the universe for them to wear. Because real women dress like that on a regular basis, right?
In America, yes. But only the teenage-young adult females do that. It's really only half.
Define “real.”
Like the other guy said they're women who actually wear that on a daily basis but sometimes they like to change things up and wear a t-shirt and a short skirt instead.
KinghtofZero00 Basically anything the opposite of modest.
They all look like they just got done with their shift at hooters
My favourite thing is the comment "oh god that was a lie these are not women these are soulless empty dolls" hidden in the tags of this video
+CreepsMcPasta I forgot to mention as well, that tag comes after the tag "women"
I did not expect to see you in this comment section at all!
Where did that comment go?
Can you even access the tags anymore?
so first, i worked my way around the guy and made some complex moves,
*KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK*
and then, a lumberjack came! so i needed to use the best and most advance moves i had,
*KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK KICK*
and a lumberjack came
That's not what he said.
8:03-9:54
The longest laugh I've ever had. That was hilarious.
Ace Fenton yeah he was really sarcastic
+sahir kabir
*THUD
Literally crying from laughing so hard and long.
Ace Fenton dude that was so fucking funny lol
+Ace Fenton What about "Was it good for you?"
The voice acting in this game makes Castlevania: Symphony of the Night's voice acting look Oscar worthy.
The Demonic Horseman Comparing Symphony of the Night’s VA to Ride to Hell’s VA is an insult to Symphony of the Night
@Zane Heaston
Symphony of the Night is an awesome game, but the voice acting is atrocious.
@@TheDemonicHorseman but funny atrocious
YOU’RE THE DEVIIIIIL!
at least SotN's voice acting was entertaining
Little did he know that the Zaibatsu made a full playthrough of it.
Rip in pepperonis
and th e dlc
+Tomzar tac they made a dlc...?
yep, you get to stop the nukes.
That they did.
NUH, JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME
LIAR!!!111
+Sly Rocko (Ascetic) Didn't the Best Friends beat this game AND the DLC?
+Adresadini it involves the evil bikers stealing a nuke from the US military. I'm not joking
You're LYING
+TheQwertzor oh
UR THA DEVUUUUUUUUL
Tommy Wiseau would be proud of that line.
10/10 best profile picture.
Bruh, stay cool
+Talos Stormcrown
Are you talking to me?
Brandon Smith Either you or me. It wouldn't be the first time someones made a reference to jontron after I comment.
Fly off to the right and explode!
JoComeau696 LOL. He's a man not a god comrade!!!
Anirudh Viswanathan Lol!
Godzilla is destroying the generators.
The Generator is losing power.
Godzilla is destroying the generators.
The Generator is losing power.
JoComeau696 That's what my dick tends to do when I see a hot chick and try to hide my boner.
JoComeau696 dat looks good
12:55
"You're the deviiiiil"
And the nominee for best supporting voice actress goes to.....
Archangel_Omega
MURDERED GUY'S GIRLFRIEND!!
I’M ACTING!!!
Tara Grey (maybe)
The boxing rin! I'm dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ring*
+Jackson Headley Brought me to ears :P
+Andy Compston ears?
Jared's sarcasm level 999
Your emojis are cancer
I love how Jared gets so sarcastic during the fight club bit.
iz funi cuz he just kicks
The game was made under construction, like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5!
With a game this bad, wouldn't you?
Boy, I am laughing my ass off :D
He finally got his retribution
He rode to hell, got retribution and rode back onto his road in the heavens next to other angels like Brutal moose, Space hamster, and PBG.
That kick spamming makes Ganondorf proud
This game would make a great AVGN episode
Mario fan28 imagine James's rage
Its like the game was programmed by a fucking spitball! I mean, were they sniffing the fumes from a motercycle.
Shawn Pollard Yeah!
Sargent Joe It would be intense, and he'd probably say ''What kind of f##ked up game is this!!??''
"This came out in 2013!?
"How is this still happening, it should be illegal by now!"
Nearly 400 people disliked this video
Nearly 400 people like this game
That's 400 too many.
*insert Jake's yell*
It's past 400 now
OH GOD
+Kenji Asakura Aaahhh.
So was it good for them?
Brilliant comedic writing. Loved this episode.
NUH UH, JARED. I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME
LIES
YOU LIE!
💥OBJECTION!!!💥 You lied!
+LEGOEmilio Why the fuck you lying,
Why you always lying,
Mmm oh my god,
Stop fucking lying
YOU'RE LYING
The half of budget for this game was spent on the main guy's dog tags
The budget was $10
That zinger at Texas' road construction is totally accurate.
You would think we're trying to build Starkiller Base with all the damn construction vehicles everywhere.
I haven't beaten this game and I have no intention to.
Who would beat it?
Jared that's right
+Senketsu Kiryuin two best friends did
+Senketsu Kiryuin I beat it. All the time.
YOU'RE LYING
Well, if I were to punish myself by playing a bad game Projared reviewed to make up for the stress we put him through, this would probably be the best one to do it with. After all, we made him ride to hell till he could finally get retribution. Over the course of a summer! Congrats, internet; we ruined his summer!
The boxing ring part is probably the best thing I've ever seen.
Electrified fence? Damn it all! The only thing my kick technique won't beat!
Fun Fact: Deep Silver went on to publish Mighty no 9. Now you know why that game sucks
The President please tell me you're kidding
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mighty_No._9
I wish
They also published Metro Last Light. They aren't bad all the time...
they also made the metro series,talk about a step up.
That game wasn't that bad.
I don't know about u guys but ProJared's review is betta than AngryJoe's review.
+kenterminatedbygoogle Good for you.
Nah.
Eh.
Everything is better than that spoiled entitled brat.
+kenterminatedbygoogle This was funny. Angry Joe's was funnier. And he also made good points.The haters can just "fly off to the right and explode!"
"I love your dog tags, they're so sexy"
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM!"
That one really cracked me up :D
To be fair, this game is equally as insulting to men as it is to women. I mean, every guy in the game is a sex addicted meathead that will brutally murder each other over petty shit.
Just like in real life!
No wait...
This game is insulting to everyone.
This game is insulting to everyone. In fact, this game is so insulting that even people that don't have a clue if what it is are insulted by it.
+Mc Jaret of*
+Chocly Nolo Well, the game is devoid of common sense.
so uhh, Jack doesn't has sex with his Dead brother's girlfriend right? RIGHT!?
Penetrative sex is definitly occurring. Because the whole time Jake looks like he's about to cry.
Bostaffninja88 That's probably from the discomfort!
That you Yahtzee?
I beat this game... by not playing it.
Brian Kay I beat this game
with a hammer
Dude….it’s the strategy as old as time…. WHY DIDN’T WE THINK OF THIS?!
LOL. You go Jake. Fly that Kite.
everything's all right.
"The sex was so good, that Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes" I died laughing! Best review yet!
As you can see, the fighting system is really complex and require a lot of thinking..
It got so complex I had to stop eating snacks while spamming one button.
I spammed two.
My marathon of rewatching, liking, and commenting on every Jared video continues. Video 34
NUH-UH JARED, I ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME
YOU"RE LYING
u bish ima mlg at dis
YOURE LYING
YOU'RE LYING
Is your profile pic Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
8:10 to 9:47
Best part of the whole video. Sarcasm was off the charts.
6:31 I like to imagine that her jumpsuit has one of those butt flaps. You know, like on those old-timey pairs of long johns? It would explain why she's riding him backwards in the cutscene. ...Why am I trying to analyze this game?
masochism.
+The Hug Box This is so badly animated I can't be offended. I was laughing too hard to be insulted.
Too late, ProJared already thought that when he talked about this in his Worst of 2013 list.
thank you for putting that horrifying image in my head.
I know someone probably already made this comment BUUUUUT...
Jared took his ride to hell, but he had his RETRIBUTION!
did he really tho?
@@WhirlwindHeatAndFlash Yes. Well if you want to think that he didn't then you're free to do so.
@@Chad_Eldridge Retribution is pretty much just the paying back of what is owed, and in this case Jared got his retribution FROM his accusor by turning his situation around and making them look like the villain instead of himself.
2:40
Jake has PSI
More like the force
You mean ESP, no Someone don't know programming
Minrod Vils PK WAVEFOOT
Jake paul
CHICKEN TENDERS!!!!!!!!!
Oh man, I never thought you would do this game! My day just got so much better!! :D
Just saw your comment on the #CUP
same :D
"No Mom, I said I wanted 'Red Dead Redemption!'"
Fuck that would suck Sooo bad!!!
"Didn't you learn anything when you got me Drake of the 99 Dragons when I wanted Max Payne?!"
Your description of the battling matches had me in stitches.
NUH UH, JARED, YOU ACTUALLY BEAT THIS GAME FOR US
NO HE DIDN't! NO ONE CAN! HE'S LYING!
YOU LIE!!
"There's more road construction in this game than all of Texas"
Being from Texas I can confirm, that's a damn lot of construction.
I enjoyed drowning King Dyuck in that overly stationary QTE segment.
"You're the deviiiiiiiiiil" is my favorite part of this video oh my God
The best friends Zaibatsu would like to have a word with you about beating this game AND it's DLC
because they did beat it, ALL of it
That's what I said, Cept I just said Matt and pat
This has DLC!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
+Shaun Gibson yea. It involves nukes
Shaun Gibson Yeah, an army guy wants to nuke the game world, can't blame him.
Bruda Ezeekiel I can't blame him either.
The best part of the electric fence section is that immediately after Jake climbs a brick portion of the fence to get inside.
Been binge watching his vids. Now seeing all the negative comments of people who did know the whole story and just started attacking him. I've been a big fan not everyone is perfect. I was thinking of commenting positive things.to drown out the negative ones. Not sure if this is a good thing. But yeah dude you do some good reviews. I hope things get better.
so you want to... finish the game? making you... a finishist? projirard?
FINISH IIIIIT
8:08 has to be one of your funniest moments, Jared. The sheer sarcasm and contradictory footage just make it so perfect.
You know it's a good day when you're friend asks if you've seen the newest Projared
Give those old comments the boot.
The _Normal_ Boot.
@@goompo I see what you did there.
They have already disappeared. I wonder if the commenters deleted it themselves or Jared wiped them out.
.......... Heeeeeehh! :3@@goompo
You bullshitting your way through the entire fight club segment is my favorite part.
The fight club bit was easily the best part of this video by far! Your straight and serious tone, despite what's really going on screen, was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.
WHAT IS THIS
...ride to hell:retribution?
Tom Scheve
oh
+CurriePlays it's inside information don't tell anyone ok?
+Gangstermixter so you're from india ;)
+Tom Scheve I was actually making a reference to Currieplays showing up on every channel ever but yeah, I'm from India lol
9:32 are we gonna ignore the fact that he put his hand on a SPIKED bat?
One could only wonder what they were doing when they spent FIVE YEARS working on this video game.
They were jacking off to the porn they just made.
Now you gotta review the dlc!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They actually made DLC for this crap?
+Mark Hirsch A guy working with the bikers find and steal a "nuke" from an abandoned army base, and Jake gets roped into helping so the higher-ups don't find out that Tyrell has been selling government property on the black market.
It ends with the detonation of an "atomic bomb" about half a mile off the California coastline. And this is considered a happy ending. I couldn't make this shit up if I _tried._
ToastyMozart wow
***** To quote JonTron: "I am sad that I lack the _talent_ to make this shit up."
12:53
YOU'RE THE DEeeEeEVVvvVvVIIIiiiIiiIiiiIIIILLLLLL
lmao 😈
Jared's sarcastic commentary during the fighting tournament still makes me laugh.
To be fair, Jake's sexism makes perfect sense. This is set in the late '60s. A woman working as a mechanic would be pretty weird in that era and a man commenting on it would be pretty normal.
Fuck, why am I defending this fucking game!?
Why ARE you defending this game? O.o
+DoctorLazers because Jared should consider cont in his criticism even if he's reviewing something awful he should be held to his normal review standard and acknowledge the context of the game's setting? choosing to ignore context is lazy at best disingenuous at worst.
Probably a natural reaction for us to find something either good or reasonable.
@Suteko Super old but I'm making my way through Jareds Reviews again-
Biker Culture was and still is sexist as hell, especially white biker culture. Funny enough I would say the sexism is the least offensive thing about the world building based on that. Jake's attitude is still garbage, but it's accurate gabage.
There's DLC for this game.
+BRANDON JENSEN Because theres man's that just want to see the world burning
I'm guessing with more of the same crap as the main game except you have to pay more to play it.
Some me just want to watch the world burn
pfffffbahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! xD
Spyrelle Phea
I looked it up, there is DLC.
You know how you can beat an electrified fence?
*A towel.*
+Tabula Rasa Gaming
Don't forget to bring a towel!
You wanna get high?
+Tabula Rasa Gaming Jared doesn't show it, but even after blowing up the dam to turn off the electricity, Jake jumps over the part of the fence made of bricks, with no electrified wire on it!
Fors Clavigera I remember that part.
Oh god, the horrible memories are coming back.
Which game is worse Ride to Hell Retribution or Drake of the 99 Dragons?
Drake of 99 rides to hell Dragobution
Seto Kaiba That's a really funny way of putting it. I guess both are equally terrible.
Jigsaw B You as Jigsaw should force the people to clearing both in one of your torture games
Seto Kaiba That and listen to Navi at the same time.
Jigsaw B Haha, I actually just watched that.
13:34 I love that bit: Jake shoved his fingers into Cesars eye sockets and despite the fact that Cesar clearly slumps back dead, in the following cutscene hes perfectly fine and drives his bike over the cliff, just for the fun of it.
It is hilarious.
Jared has those brand new fighting strats
I figured he would learn somethin in prison
YAY I CAN LAUGH AT THIS VIDEO AGAIN!
If I had this game, I would've beaten it... with a baseball bat.
"This is the worst game ever and you should play it. No, seriously! You gotta see this shit!" ~Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
4:22 The front cover of Uncharted 3
+FloSo Antonibro I won't lie, you comment was cool
+FloSo Antonibro NOSE.
+Rhymoth massagenistic?
Rhymoth what?
Rhymoth
Just to be clear, it's spelt "misogyny" and it's defined as "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women." I don't know where you got your definition, but please back it up when talking about such things.
13:21 He forgot to mention the rocket launcher you get here, which breaks the game's physics even more
It seems that no matter how many times I've watched this video the sarcasm and delivery of the joke during the fight club portion is pretty much the best thing ever. I still laugh out loud over it and it's wonderful.
11:51 I'm the light bringer! I'M THE F@CKING UNIVERSE!!!
Fly off to the right (or left) and explode.
the 1% on the box must be the final verdict
I feel the only way this story would work would be if it was parodying action game tropes but I have a feeling that that's not the case
“Why yes, it DOES get worse...”
*Dies inside a little more*
9:55 I'm dying.
I never laughed so hard at any shit "game mechanic" in my entire life.
+Kyo Sunbringer
Same.
I'm pretty sure Angry Joe beat it .
He's lying.
Jacob Willis | Also, Yahtzee talked about the plot points from the finale.
Jacob Willis yup he spend 21 hours in it to find something good about it
Maybe, and look how much damage that did!
YOU'RE LYING!!!!!!!