Perfectionism holds us back. Here’s why | Charly Haversat | TED Institute

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  • Опубліковано 17 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 85

  • @BlitzIn4
    @BlitzIn4 4 роки тому +62

    I'm thinking about how much I procrastinate due to perfectionism and simultaneously the CDC's response to the virus throughout this talk, and then she She said pandemic at the end. I would vote for you Ms. Haversat

    • @vineetkhobragade5631
      @vineetkhobragade5631 Рік тому

      Same

    • @Sirous369Cyrus
      @Sirous369Cyrus 7 місяців тому

      yeah, we are on the same page, but I have come to the conclusion that perfectionism is really not perfect, we have to work on one factor and that is the "congitive plasticity" which enables us to be flexible and open to new situations. hard but possible to be executed. it's a matter of practice over time.

  • @rhammerfist
    @rhammerfist 7 років тому +76

    This hit home, gave me more insight on how and why the world is how it is. Thanks

  • @Ken_710
    @Ken_710 Рік тому +34

    Fellow Perfectionists!!
    Let's come back here 5 years later, to celebrate our victory over perfectionism.

    • @Lollismeisterzone-eo9bz
      @Lollismeisterzone-eo9bz Рік тому +2

      You will see me come back in five years. I will work on my Perfectionism!!

    • @meaningoflife7199
      @meaningoflife7199 Рік тому +2

      Yes, 24 years old and my life has been in stagnation for the past 8 years since i left secondary school, I'm taking risks from now on to grow in life

    • @chetanverse
      @chetanverse 9 місяців тому

      Yes, we surely will win.

  • @saraahhh1184
    @saraahhh1184 6 років тому +106

    Perfectionism is good; to some certain degrees. It tells you to not send in a half-assed work. But it sucks once it takes over. What first started as "make sure all the roses are white" turns into "if it's not the same shade of white; throw it out". It makes you question why you bother going to the top floor if you're not going to reach there in one step. It ignores all the efforts and focuses on the end result. Who gives a fuck if you spent the whole week drawing this? Nobody's going to see that. All they're going to see is your artwork, and if it's not perfect, you might as well just showcase a shit sketch you did in 3 minutes. Extreme perfectionism sucks out the fun out of creating. It leads to mental breakdowns and anxiety. It's a blessing and a curse to be a perfectionist. Sometimes you're the winner and the next you're a quitter.

    • @juliacatlin6580
      @juliacatlin6580 4 роки тому +3

      Soooo much this. What an eloquent way to phrase this.

    • @notme2554
      @notme2554 4 роки тому +6

      Perfectionism is judging your self the same way people judge you is judging by result
      On the other side you should judge your self by the same way god judge yoy by your efforts and intentions ( for sure you cant judge yoyr self exactly like good but u can judge the big picture)

    • @chetanverse
      @chetanverse 9 місяців тому

      Thank you for this comment and also the example was too good to understand.

  • @GagandeepKaur-mp5ys
    @GagandeepKaur-mp5ys 5 років тому +27

    Thanks dear for this video, really from the bottom of my heart. I achieved 90+ in my exams many times but this time I didnt and was feeling low and angry but ur video helped me to relax

  • @zasta7
    @zasta7 2 роки тому +8

    This was one hell of a presentation for perfectionists.

  • @yunusagyldz7925
    @yunusagyldz7925 5 років тому +6

    A single word is good enough:"THANKS!"

  • @FierceBossCo
    @FierceBossCo 6 років тому +15

    I love this - it captures beautifully the struggle...as well as what's possible on the other side. I've struggled with perfectionism my whole now, and now my life's work is dedicated to helping others fight the battles everyday with a shift in perspective and mindset. Great talk Charly!

  • @michelleabboud1965
    @michelleabboud1965 4 роки тому +7

    Beautifully stated and beautifully delivered! More than good enough! Thank you!

  • @spacepanda420
    @spacepanda420 Рік тому +6

    I have been stuck for 24 years. I cant do anything without over thinking

  • @ShathaHunter
    @ShathaHunter 2 роки тому +7

    Very informative. I definitely have to take this on board. Although, it's difficult when that voice in your head keeps saying 'good enough isn't good enough.'

  • @rashidabaakza8554
    @rashidabaakza8554 9 місяців тому +1

    I wish I would’ve been able to know this sooner. I have wasted so much time trying to be perfect, and still need some time…. This is so true 😢

  • @marionshine2118
    @marionshine2118 7 років тому +11

    What a powerful message! I thankyou so much, marion

  • @soldiergigas14
    @soldiergigas14 4 роки тому +5

    Perfection must come only from the decision of the person, never from the torment of others.

  • @IreneMoore
    @IreneMoore 6 років тому +24

    Thanks for your insights on overcoming perfectionism. Such an important topic!

  • @xiioh6788
    @xiioh6788 6 років тому +33

    Just focus on your health first anything else then becomes superficial

  • @everydayphilos4388
    @everydayphilos4388 3 роки тому +6

    Perfect is the enemy of good

  • @davidyy100
    @davidyy100 7 років тому +7

    Thanks, i will remember: Perfect is the enemy of good is an aphorism, an English variant of the older better is the enemy of good, which was popularized by Voltaire in French form.

  • @shadow_crne1030
    @shadow_crne1030 Рік тому +3

    There is another side to that coin: Don't let half-assed results satisfy you when you can do better..... "perfection is not a skill, it's a habit."

  • @mireillelebeau2513
    @mireillelebeau2513 5 років тому +13

    I finally found the perfect TED talk!

  • @alisonj1384
    @alisonj1384 2 роки тому

    Watching this with a whole new perspective in 2021.

  • @petermcmanus1934
    @petermcmanus1934 6 років тому +6

    Excellent. Making a light-hearted joke, if I were your professor, 'I'd give you an A+. Thank you for your sharing.

  • @isisboelens212
    @isisboelens212 Рік тому

    Thank you from a fellow perfectionist!

  • @michaellee7581
    @michaellee7581 5 років тому +12

    How do you define "good enough". Good enough for "WHO"?

  • @dutchcoiner
    @dutchcoiner 5 місяців тому

    Remember that perfectionism is just a learned behavior. A thought pattern. So you can unlearn it again. It's not easy, but YOU CAN DO IT.

  • @ulkutuna
    @ulkutuna 3 роки тому +2

    I started to play tennis when I was 12 and quit playing 1 year later... back then I was like "what is the point of playing if I cant compete at Australian Open?" Now I am 29 and when I think about this it hurts that I tortured myself when I was a kid and didnt let myself just enjoy it... and if I enjoyed it and played tennis just good enough I would have been playing it like for 17 years.

  • @notme2554
    @notme2554 4 роки тому +4

    Perfectionism is judging your self the same way people judge you
    ( judging by result)
    On the other side you should judge your self by the same way god judge yoy by your efforts and intentions ( for sure you cant judge yoyr self exactly like good but u can judge the big picture)

  • @gotama570
    @gotama570 3 роки тому +4

    Perfection is rewarded imperfection is criticized..
    If you have low self esteem,unworthiness,feeling unecepted you are on the right way to be one day an big depressed perfectionist

  • @Jktu000000
    @Jktu000000 3 роки тому +1

    If you jumped over a chasm for a 99% of its width that means you were good enough but you also are dead now (since 99% is not enough to reach the other side).
    Perfectionism is not came out of nothing, there are reason(s) for its existence.
    Desperate cravity to keep up with those who are the most valuable for society "If I am valuable I will not be abandoned, and will not die"

  • @VividFilmProductions
    @VividFilmProductions 5 років тому +5

    I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my music and it sucks but I’m trying to overcome

  • @Turtl3slandwaves_1234
    @Turtl3slandwaves_1234 Рік тому +2

    This is too true because how are adult s expecting us to be top of our classes and school instead of focusing on us actually learning and being the best version of us . Perfection leaves no room for progress because its expected immediately of us and if we don't achieve it whats they point , unlike in progress we dont have a specific point to reach and yet with progress we get the most results because we continue moving foward

  • @pooranikannan7634
    @pooranikannan7634 4 роки тому

    All of us could benefit from decision making that is good enough🌿

  • @DLHatsy
    @DLHatsy 9 років тому +2

    Ben and Bryce sent me! :)

  • @DeepthiNookala-d8v
    @DeepthiNookala-d8v 7 місяців тому

    Perfect is the enemy of good. Today I am just thinking that it would make me feel better if I am able to record my experience every Saturday. Let's meet a better me but not perfect me the next Saturday.

  • @somethingyousaid5059
    @somethingyousaid5059 5 років тому +1

    A rational Perfectionism necessarily would preclude a Perfectionist's own irrational acceptance of an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for an ideal.
    If I as a Perfectionist were to suddenly lose most of my hair, how should I respond?
    By way of accepting a hairpiece?
    OR
    By way of rejecting a hairpiece precisely for the reason that it's an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for my own hair?
    If all would-be substitutes for a given ideal are no better than exclusively unsatisfying substitutes, the Perfectionist is irrational if he does not reject all of them.
    ...

  • @robertmosanu3946
    @robertmosanu3946 3 роки тому

    Sums up our world's culture in under 9 minuntes.

  • @lila-yw2gn
    @lila-yw2gn 5 років тому +5

    I have insecurities too. Sometimes, i feel so conscious about my imperfections, but when in fact, people dont really give that much shit about my imperfections as they're so busy with their own lives
    Before, im so scared to poop in public, but later on, whenever i poop,i just held my head high and walk proudly. Sometimes, we tend to get so ashamed of things that most people dont care about.
    Just like you, people dont watch you and get shocked to find out that you're actually just a human who has a vulnerable side and has issues to deal with, because they are so busy with their own issues in life.. They're just like you, fighting their own issues within themselves.
    Ive just realized when i was a kid that all people poop, so why i should be so ashamed of that thing of its a normal part of being a human

  • @ImFameful
    @ImFameful 9 років тому

    Ben & Bryce sent me! Great kids!!

  • @chrsfavel5506
    @chrsfavel5506 7 років тому +13

    I was married to a perfectionist. It not only affects them but people around them . Marriage broke apart because it was not perfect. I was marriage # 3 of hers. That's Perfectionism.

    • @janeryan2709
      @janeryan2709 7 років тому +4

      chris Favorite Have compassion and wish her well though. I'm sure it's hard for her to push people away.

  • @BenSchmidt2
    @BenSchmidt2 9 років тому +2

    Ben and Bryce sent me! This was actually really enjoyable

  • @jramos5974
    @jramos5974 4 роки тому +1

    kid rock

  • @czechmex88
    @czechmex88 7 років тому +2

    3:30, the lady on the bottom left is giving a Keanu Reeves look

    • @twopaddles1
      @twopaddles1 6 років тому

      with a fucking....pencil.

  • @jbred00
    @jbred00 Рік тому +1

    Most people here dont have perfectionism, they are just under achievers

  • @victortheinspiration
    @victortheinspiration 2 роки тому

    How To Overcome Perfectionism: 👉ua-cam.com/video/kuUSJ8cDucY/v-deo.html

  • @fantasypolice
    @fantasypolice 2 роки тому

    2:07

  • @nguyenhiep6425
    @nguyenhiep6425 4 роки тому +1

    Kobe prolly dont like this cuz of how obsessed he was with perfection

  • @user-cg4ch5dh5o
    @user-cg4ch5dh5o 4 роки тому

    Wow. Even more true now with pandemic and BLM.

  • @classicfeatherpen2924
    @classicfeatherpen2924 7 років тому +1

    Im really going insane right now haha...

  • @Cam-pz3bk
    @Cam-pz3bk 4 роки тому

    Bruh I'm watching this so I can become good at siege

  • @TheaDragonSpirit
    @TheaDragonSpirit 7 років тому +5

    Yes lets have a world that isn't good enough, pretend it is good enough, when in reality it is far from just good enough, that isn't perfectionism it's just accepting the facts. A world that is good enough would have no poor people. That isn't perfectionism. I think people who think the way the world is now is good enough, ignore how much better it could be for all.

  • @pat_bad3042
    @pat_bad3042 4 роки тому +1

    its football...

  • @minasstars
    @minasstars 7 років тому +1

    But by striving for perfectio we become great

    • @janeryan2709
      @janeryan2709 7 років тому +7

      Minas Stars And you destroy yourself in the process...

    • @scottcarpenter6305
      @scottcarpenter6305 5 років тому +4

      No....by striving for perfection you will (1.) always fall short of your goal, (2.) you will be angry at yourself for being excellent instead of perfect, (3.) you will procrastinate because you are afraid of starting something that will not end up being perfect.

    • @Jleigh225
      @Jleigh225 5 років тому

      You missed a step

  • @harrypearle9781
    @harrypearle9781 5 років тому +3

    Wonderful. But when does perfectionism START for us?
    Perhaps it starts in school, when teachers have RIGID STANDARDS, in order to grade many students, quickly.
    Teachers may not be likely to change their rigid standards. But maybe students can adjust their sense of VALUE?
    What do you think? THANKS Much Harry www.SavingSchools.org

    • @loveyourlifecommunity4402
      @loveyourlifecommunity4402 5 років тому

      According to the BBC the number of young adults who admit that they strive for perfection is on the rise, which will result in higher numbers of depression, isolation, shame, and numerous other mental health disorders. It starts YOUNG and it continues to occur if we don't change our behaviours and bring more attention to it.

  • @markcherian8557
    @markcherian8557 6 років тому +9

    Without Jesus we are all imperfect and sinful. He makes us whole.

  • @user-sl9on4tk3i
    @user-sl9on4tk3i 9 років тому

    Ben and Bryce send me

  • @everydayphilos4388
    @everydayphilos4388 3 роки тому

    That's nirvana fallacy

  • @NineInchTyrone
    @NineInchTyrone 9 місяців тому

    Why give male names to women ?