i saw the other day a comment on her book in amazon that said that the book was not good because she uses really common language for a woman with university studies. I'll never understand how people pretend critical and important information to reach a large population using really specific and confusing terms just to give the image of profesionalism. This woman is really good at communicating and is explaining something useful and important.
"The sign of real intelligence and understanding is being able to explain concepts in the most simplest terms possible." When I was going into my teaching education, this was repeated many times to us.
You are so correct, I can't imagine being so pretentious as to dismiss someone's extensive education and research abilities based on the language they use to convey their findings to anyone of any educational background.
100% agree with you! She considered herself a storyteller so her language will speak to all audience. If she used deep vocabulary the book will read like another research book.
The comment was probably from someone who also had university studies that feels that if they don’t use $20 words every other sentence in an effort to “prove” their own “education”, then they’re not going to be taken seriously…aka, it seems like they’re unintentionally expressing their own vulnerability. Give me someone who’s comfortable saying “bullshit” any day over some who feels they have to use some clinical …bullshit….term to try to get their point across and prove how “smart” they are.
POV: you keep coming back to this video because it once changed your life and you need to remind yourself that it’s okay to be vulnerable! And you keep sending it to anyone who struggles with vulnerability
It's not about being a hero it's about being human. Not good not bad but necessary. As a suicidal person I always come back to this for 13 years now.❤❤❤
It's crazy how true this is . About four years back when I passed high school I was broken , insecure and vulnerable. My best friend left me. The boy I liked rejected me. For the same fucking girl. I thought when I enter uni I'll change it all , I will not be this pathetic person I am , I'll change for good. That's what I did, I started relying less on others , closed myself off, had friends some really good people but I never allowed myself to get close as a protective measure. I tried to numb myself of all the feelings, good or bad. Everything was going well good grades , good social life but I was not happy. I couldn't understand what was wrong. I felt hopeless , without a direction. One day I broke down in front of a friend. Got everything on my mind out, showed her my pathetic side which I was scared to face. It was difficult. But I felt 1% better. So after watching this talk, everything made sense . I'm still not comfortable in being vulnerable in front of people. But I am trying .So anyone else suffering, you should give it a try too.
Looks like you showing your vulnerability to a friend most likely made you feel a bit better because you saw how she listened too you and cared and was able to trust you more being more authentic. Hopefully this is just the beginning. Be you. Love you. Others will too. ❤
Up until 24 hours ago, before I watched this video I made fun of people who loved so recklessly and willingly gave into the vulnerability in order to experience something beautiful. And I know now that that judgement came from a place of shame. It came from a place that had been hurt and rejected and not chosen multiple times by multiple people. It came from a voice that told itself to harden and be strong and don't let people in anymore, be you're own happiness, your own love, don't be weak or vulnerable to men because that'll get you hurt. But this Ted Talk changed my life. It changed my perception. And although it took some brutal self analysis and judgement, I instantly felt a sense of relief as she spoke of how it's okay, NECESSARY even to let that in, to live your life with vulnerability and compassion and boundaries so thank you. You probably saved my life and future college career.
I am with you Karly. It is such a frustration to watch authentic, non-insecure, non-codependent love expressed by people. For so much of my life, I felt such a distaste for genuine expressions of love that I watched others so naturally show to each other. My cynicism wouldn't let me recognize the beauty there. It seems to have been built on a constant frustration at not seeming to be able to connect with people the way everyone else seemed to so easily, and because I never confronted it, it grew into this caustic cynicism that steals any joy or connection from any experience I had. It sucks that some of us find natural emotion more difficult (sometimes seemingly ungraspable) for whatever reasons. I know feeling is better than not feeling, though. Having felt both, there's no comparison, even though the addiction to despair or cynicism hides the discomfort of disconnection for a while. The addiction to numbness seems like the best I can hope for sometimes. But it's not.
Content aside, this is an inspirational talk for any scientist. This woman is a SCIENTIST - think of all the detail, methods, metrics, statistics, alternate theories, debates with her peers, that could have been brought into this report of six years of work. That huge hammer of science has been honed down to a razor edge of a few crisp points, delivered with calmness, conviction and humor, in an 18 minute talk. WOW. I am inspired.
9:32 that's what I'm doing now. I'm a shy, introspective person, and the last few years I put on my mind I had to try to be more extroverted, talk more, but this latest months I realized that this was making me feel worst, because I'm not the way I wanted to be, and when I tried to be talkative I couldn't, so this made me sad and disappointed. So now I'm accepting myself, I'm a introspective person, and I'm fine with it. I don't care what people think about it, because people tend to judge us.
I found myself in the same place, but when i heard a podcast about Introvert people, i felt identified and i realized the good side of being an introvert. I started to feel much more comfortable and confident with myself. Being introvert isnt bad, and being an extrovert isnt the best either.
So resonated with the last episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. "There's no such thing as perfect. You are beautiful as you are, Courage. With all your imperfections, you can do anything." said the bathtub barracuda.
Needed this. I’m always building up walls. Not wanting anyone to come emotionally closer. But eventually I have to let it down and talk to someone. Otherwise you’re just built up with anger and sadness
She finishes with, “that’s all I have”. That was 8 years ago ... Her “enough” still moves the world We are all so very vulnerable ... and we are “enough”.
I found her thru, of all people, Tim Hawkins, an amazingly gifted Christian comedian & musician. Which kind of opened my eyes that even people of faith need to seek help because they have problems too.
Vulnerability is the key to all and any human connections. Without that key ingredient there will always be something missing within a relationship. Being able to be completely transparent with someone you love is a gift that some people never get to experience.
Hi paige i saw your post. I watched 5 years ago. Today it seems very appropriate to review. This election hurts so much. Brene gives encouragement to feel it and move on.
This is the first video I watch in 2024. I learned how to accept my emotions whether they are good or bad. I learned how to accept my vulnerability and imperfections. I think I'm ready for a new me in 2024. Happy new year to anyone who reads this
"In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be really seen." "The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging." "The origin of the word "courage" comes from the word "cour" which means heart, and it means to completely share your story with you whole heart". "Have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to yourself first, and fully embrace your vulnerability to create connections." "What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful." "Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear, but it is also the birthplace of joy, happiness, creativity, belonging and love." "You are imperfect and wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." "Believe in yourself and say: I AM ENOUGH"
I talked to someone about struggling with not feeling good enough and she asked me to yell I AM ENOUGH Out loud and it was embarrassing but it helped a lot.
I don't even think I know how to be vulnerable. I got involved with a married man. I never thought that would happen to me. I rarely date and I do tend to get involved with things that don't work. He had told me that if I felt that it was too overwhelming that I should do what I needed to do for myself. When it got difficult because I couldn't see him all the time I called it off. It took me two years to come to this decision. It was hard on me, but I actually felt better. It took me a long time to get to know him too.
I just started a really intense program in college and had a tough day in the lab, went home and felt unmotivated to study. My relationship is a mess and most importantly, I felt extremely lonely. Wanted to change things up so I searched for this video, which I have initially watched 6 years ago and I remember it was inspiring. Watched the whole video, tears run down my face and I realized that I was being too harsh on myself and forgot to be grateful for what I have. Thank you Brene, you have taken me out of the dark place and I will rewatch this video for the stormy days to come. Life is not easy but gotta have fun and enjoy it while we can. If you are struggling like me, I genuinely hope things turn up for you and you can find the light in your life. Best wishes!!!!
I relate so much! Just graduated after a really intense 2 year program. I had a light bulb moment a while back where it occurred to me that I'm so hard on myself. Trying to make a new habit of looking at all of my thoughts/feelings (especially the ones that are so automatic) and ask if I would have that same thought about someone I care about, or say to them what I say to myself, or apply that same pressure, or see the situation in that same light, etc... I knew immediately that most of those negative things I would not even think up about someone else... And if I treated others the way I treat myself, no one would like me, I'd be awful. I think it took so long to click for me because it's all so automatic, I'm used to the thoughts and sometimes its almost unconscious and takes pause to spot it happening. I also am not the 'classic' - cliche version of a perfectionist. Anyway, having realized that I just have to make a habit of be aware of those patterns of thinking.
@@steph7614 Thank you for sharing! I also relate to what you said about giving ourselves the negative talk. We should be the biggest enabler instead of the biggest critics of ourselves. But hey, having awareness is the first step!❤ Wish you all the best and congratulations on completing the program! 🥳
Here from Netflix. It’s baffling to me why anyone could leave hateful, hurtful comments about someone like her, sharing so beautifully from her deepest, most sacred places. I think she is gorgeous - brilliant smile and twinkling eyes and she presents herself with grace and confidence. Her family is blessed to have her ♥️ Thank you Brene for accepting your destiny to live in the big “arena” and for showing us a better way to “do life”.
Hurt people hurt people. You're not baffled. Offended possibly. Lashing out is a thing these days. It's the shame of not good enough imho while hating others who seem happy, unashamed and informed. Listen.
I dont know if this would be interpreted as hurtful or mean, but I don't think anything she said in this video is even remotely new information. We've all heard the "Love yourself and you will be loved" crap one thousand times. It's just some words that sound good, nothing more.
1:40 - a piece of her research that expanded her perception 3:14 - connection ````~ 4:40 - shame 5:24 - vulnerability 6:53 - worthiness 8:05 - whole-hearted 8:45 - courage 9:43 - vulnerability (embracing it) 11:17 - a "little" breakdown 12:43 - vulnerability is the core of shame & fear but also the birthplace of joy/ creativity/ belonging/ love 13:51 - people embrace vulnerability, but that's not her (lol) 14:31 - why do we struggle w/ vulnerability 14:39 - numb 16:21 - you can't numb hard feelings w/o numbing other emotions 17:03 - making everything uncertain, certain 17:34 - perfection 18:31 - pretending
10 years later and I find this speech so emotional. Tears came out unexpectedly. I guess the power of authenticity and vulnerability are timeless. Thank you for uploading.
I also was so deeply touched... I cried and laughed and wondered "Vulnerability is the birthplace for love, for creativity for connection" Vulnerability is my birthplace
Dear Fatma Bahri, It's heartwarming to see that Brené Brown's speech still resonates with you after all these years. The power of vulnerability is indeed timeless and a reminder that authenticity is essential to leading a fulfilling life. It's always inspiring to hear stories of how people are impacted by such speeches, and we appreciate you sharing your emotional reaction with us. Thank you for watching and commenting on this video. Best regards, ChatGPT
My TAKEAWAY from this : Embrace life's messiness and lean into discomfort, as connection and vulnerability give meaning to our existence. Shame stems from fear of disconnection, leading to a lack of love and belonging. However, those who embrace vulnerability believe in their worthiness, showing compassion to themselves and others. They understand that being imperfect is courageous and beautiful. Instead of seeking control and predictability, they choose to live authentically and embrace their emotions fully. Blame only serves to deflect pain. By allowing ourselves to be seen and loved wholeheartedly, we find fulfillment. Despite uncertainties, practicing gratitude and joy reaffirms our sense of being enough.
I was born decades ago with a really great musical ear, with exceptional eyesight , i was athletic and handsome. I still retain a lot and walk with confidence . When i watched this video i was momentarily distracted by the subtitles, when it said ''laughter'' etc. At that moment i felt great appreciation for those who could watch this but could not hear , how they watch it and can still enjoy it by reading the subtitles, not hearing laughter but they can imagine the audience laughing at what she said. I've been blessed so much in my life , despite many of my own problems over the years. I think it is a great thing to add subtitles for those who cannot hear. I can't imagine what that life is like, and it's good that we are connected with eachother in positive ways.
+Kimberly Han thank you too Kimberly. It's often been said that those things we do not possess are maybe contrasted with other gifts. There is no doubt that a person born withOUT the ability to hear can feel and be aware of many things that others miss.
T Stanton Stay vulnerable ;) It's actually beautiful ! But inner child therapy, sexual transmutation and solving your own eodipus complex can really help strengthen that core.
Y Roncero I remember telling my mom, I value my vulnerable ability, she asked me if I knew what I was saying. So many people associate vulnerability with being weak. I see it as one of my greatest strength.
I feel you... Its so hard to tell someone that youre terrified of telling them how terrified you are, when you are still working on feeling enough. I agree to the inner child therapy comment, its definately the place to start. Good luck!
+T Stanton It made me cry too, but because I allow myself to be vulnerable, which so many people find discomforting and often criticize. I found so much validation in this, and that helps...
@@alegriart the delivery, and make it available and receivable for everyone is the key. She litteraly measured what she's talking about. A researcher, she accept to change herself too to help others. And she won. That's not on psychology books. Can't you see why is so important put yourself first in the page and than be able to enrich, to give hope and help people to reconnect with them self while the whole entire society is saying your not ok, you are not right to be what you are and feel what you do feel?
since working out and feeling better. since endorphins is derived of two words. endogenous. meaning from within the body. and morphin. a pain killer. so essentially working out regularly (no not like a gym rat nut. just some good old lifting weights and staying healthy. its more than looking good. its about the mental health for me. its even helping me with confidence to open up more. i told a girl im falling for her. but shes afraid of being vulnerable. which is why i came here. and my god. im happy i did
I loved this talk. Being a 28 disabled woman (who was previously a fully fit dancer) I understand embracing being vulnerable. In the thirteen years I've dealt with my condition, one that leaves me in constant agony & using a walking stick, I can honestly say I wouldn't change it. It's part of who I am, and I'm happy with that person. Hopefully, this will inspire others to embrace themselves.
+Garnet Seren - Well said! People often do not know real vulnerability, unless they have had some awful life issues. I love your attitude and spirit. Being disabled myself, I understand the pain, both physical/emotional/spiritual, and trust God daily to help me & my family. I too, try to keep a positive attitude, as I believe that helps me and all of those whom I encounter, even if just a few minutes a day - it can make a difference, you just never know. I know when I am at my weakest (not most vulnerable necessarily), God shows up in amazing ways! When I am vulnerable and share with others (truly open up and am 'real'), is when I find that others really 'connect' with me! The BEST thing about being #vulnerable is that if you and I are willing to be vulnerable, we are also giving permission for others to be as well! It is so important, esp. in this virtual world of ours, to be vulnerable with one another (when led to do so), so that others can experience you and I in real & #genuine ways. So, let's all Connect, Share & be Genuine with someone today!
+James Buchanan Careful president Buchanan, your insecurity is showing. Using righteous indignation to attempt to assassinate the character of another you deem inferior to make yourself feel powerful is cheap and beneath someone of your reputation.
+James Buchanan I am so sorry that you feel that way about someone you have never met & know nothing about. And since I do not know you either, I will not seek to justify myself, feelings or life experience. However, I do wish to give you a piece of advice. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. It's amazing what the power of words can do & it may be beneficial for yourself to stop slandering others & instead try to encourage someone to do or be better. Positivity is much more productive than hate.
+James Buchanan Just sad how people have to go around and express their feeling just to attempt hurt others: "I don't agree and thats why I'm gonna make my best to humiliate and make them miserable!"... Seriously, what do you know to go judge like this? Even more, why the need to disrespect and hurt? As much as you try you can't stop people from moving forward. My sincere feelings for you, I hope you can evolve and at least learn the meanings of respect an compassion.
I never said they did. What I was highlighting was the difference from being an able-bodied person to someone being disabled (I have been both) and the vulnerability that brought. I wasn't born with my disability, it happened after a bad accident, followed by a severe illness. I went from being fiercely independent, to having to use a walking stick before I'm even 30 as well as needing my husband's help to be able to shower or prepare a meal. Going from someone that nothing ever phased, to being too scared to even sit in my garden on my own. That was the vulnerability I was talking about. And the only reason I am explaining this is in a bid to make you realise that sometimes you need to stop & consider what might be someone else's story. If you still choose to be narrow minded & rude, well... that's on you. At least I tried.
I love this message so much. To be vulnerable is to be open, to allow your emotions to be set free. To be vulnerable means to be authentic, to remove any masks you are wearing because you don't need to pretend to be someone you are not. You are worthy of love and belongingness, you are worthy of being seen, you are enough, and you matter ♥💜💙
"Once you feel worthy, greatness will follow." You simply cannot know this for a fact. Not everyone who feels worthy ends up with "greatness" being thrown at them. It sounds nice, but has no basis in reality.
I learned about the magic power of vulnerability many years ago when i noticed that's what drew me into people. Being vulnerable makes you so like me, like all of us, and it stops the belief that others are different, better, more made for success. But, vulnerability is uncomfortable, and takes courage, as she mentions. It is what i admire most in people, and why I have always believed that vulnerability is what makes people hear you.
Vulnurability needs to be addressed by us all. As a 18 year old college student surrounded by guy friends in my dorm, we have all become experts of pushing down our fear and shame and deepest vulnerabilities because it's easy to blend into the crowd. It saddens me. Recently I've noticed that I have shame for just having emotions. And that needs to stop!
@@MindlessTubeThat's a different kind of vulnerability, the kind of vulnerability she's talking about, (the vulnerability to be authentically yourself) true to yourself and those around you,can lead to you feeling more alive, and fulfilled. Try it, you might like it? Namaste 💖
I love how Brené Brown puts it. I have watched her TED talk speech a number of times and I'm always learning something. I can't believe that after so many years of trying to fit in into a denomination, social group, or even family, I have to sacrify my identity to feel accepted and not judge. I came to realized that this is my issue and not of the ones sorrounded by me, so I need to be brave and change my perspective if I want to be happy with myself and the things I want to accomplish in life.
I am going to the 30s and never in my life I have cried and laughed so much at the same time. I really can’t believe I didn’t watch this video earlier. Blessed by you, Brene!
check out: hackers the internet's immune system & kelly mcgonigal how to make stress your friend.... never thought i would feel more comfortable knowing that hackers are out there but i do now, and we should all be thankful for their vigilance because most are good and belong to a group or society that inherently keeps them in check... and kelly's speech regarding stress as being helpful and beneficial to us is amazing and also something i've always felt but never knew how to logic or put in words - and the best part is that it's evidence based...
As Clint Eastwood said in UNFORGIVEN right before he blew Gene Hackman's brains out, "DESERVES GOT NOTHIN TO DO WITH IT". It sounds good, but we accept things we're not sure we deserve all the time, including Love, if anybody actually knows what the word means.
Wrong. That is similar to those religious-types who claim we were born "with a purpose". Life is open to interpretation by anybody with a functioning brain. This person claims to possess knowledge no one else has, which is also something the religious will preach.
@@Briancnn The irony, clearly an Atheist and you had to go and use logic. This is one of the things I think of in regards to vulnerability and connection, whatever that person is is usually what appear when there is anything meaningful. People who go out of their way to cause DISconnection. Vulnerability to THAT? Connection to THAT?
It’s crazy how my brain figured this out on its own over the past year & I randomly got the thought to watch this & now I can finally put into words what I have been feeling the past year! It’s sooo liberating to know that I am on the right track with my mental health & so happy I’m here!
When I used to hear people say "Jesus loves you", I thought they were simple... But the idea that someone loves you exactly the way you are, is exactly what she means by "I am enough". I can say I am blessed without irony. And that in and of itself is a blessing.
Yeah but, isn't it sad that people have to rely on an imaginary being to genuinely feel loved? Doesn't that just prove that it is unattainable? I think do.
@@ceIIardoor My point doesn't rely on whether Jesus is real or not. The point is that the feeling of loving yourself, of experiencing the feeling that you are loved and worthy of love is an incredibly rewarding feeling. And those who are blessed to experience that have a fount of love and inspiration to share with others. It just so happens that there is an "imaginary being", an archetype, if you will, of perfect love.
@@ceIIardoor the natural man cannot discern these matters because they are spiritually discerned. Jesus will wait for you to let him into your heart He won't force you. But HE will be there when you look for Him.
Dear Sindhu no one deserves to be humiliated. I wish that soon you can look back at this and see that going through a bad time made you wiser and more resilient. My respect to you.
@@alexQw33 thanks, Alex. Those are really kind words from you, but maybe we do need some terms and conditions in place when it comes to who you choose to be vulnerable with. Blanket vulnerability doesn't work.
Dear Sindhu, I agree, this is where the wiser you will come in to play. But you can not always see through people, there will be some times where even the wiser you will be deceived. It will hurt .... still, I beg you, not to change, don’t let a bad person change who you are, please continue to let yourself to be vulnerable, continue to grow and continue to learn. If you close your self, probably you will not suffer, but you will not live either. If you take a chance to get hurt, eventually you will find a good person with whom you can build a beautiful relationship. My respect for you.
You can watch this talk at every stage of your life and you will always get something out of it. Note to myself went I am struggling come back to this...
There’s a reason they say the pen is mightier than the sword. Words have the power to lift people higher than they’ve ever been or tear them down so they’ll never get up again. They have the power to start revolutions, or stop them from every happening. Those words you call “love yourself crap”? Those words saved someone’s life, and gave many others the chance to propose, or get out of the closet, or finally stop listening to words of their bullies. Those words made a difference. They are definitely not crap in the slightest.
Recently, my therapist told me to watch this TED talk because almost all of my problems are based in shame and not being able to be vulnerable and this video has really good info👍
I feel the same way. There are a lot of us out here. One definition of shame is feeling flawed and defective as a human being. I've been working on shame reduction for a while now and it is an inch by inch process. It's been a while so I've made some progress and I'm completely grateful for the opportunity. Another definition of shame is that it can keep us stuck in place staring down at our feet. I learned both from John Bradshaw who has a great talk on youtube titled "Healing The Shame That Binds You". I highly recommend.
Cannot stress enough how important vulnerability is; I watched this TED Talk for the first time back in my Sophomore year of college and it still sticks with me today, now a Senior in college.
I've just gotten through a struggle with depression and this video has highlighted many things which caused it. I'm better now and this video inspires me. I find it very important to our world today.
what a GOLDEN video, i think this deserves to be seen by everyone, so many powerful lines of dialogue and key points. i have gone through my own "spiritual awakening" aka crying for 20 minutes on my bed while infront of my mums company who i would always hide emotion from because i was worried about how she would see me as such a weak person. but after that and followed by a few more tears in the coming weeks after that moment. and now im at a point where i just accept things for what they are and who people are and who i am as a whole, and life has been so much less stressful and worrisome. i have found a strong sense of calm come into my life and things have been up ever since.
This is a homerun for me personally. I believe our biggest fear is having the courage to be imperfect and also allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Thank you so much. This really helped me understand myself.
@@mcjs8640Yes you can, you may feel that way, but if you choose to, you can. Is it that you don't feel safe to be vulnerable ? Cause we all feel like that, it's a matter of being willing to love, even when we don't feel loved, being open to the possibilities of being loved, there's no guarantee, except for the guarantee of not being loved if we don't open ourselves up to it 😢 and that is no way to live, being so afraid of rejection that you never know what true love feels like... that's the whole reason we're here, because love is the greatest gift and it's the best present/presence in the world, please don't deny yourself of this, because in the end you will regret it and you will just have to come back and do it all over again 😢 Be gentle and tender with yourself, just as you would a hurt and frightened child, because that's what we all are, and we all need to remember that and act accordingly, only then will we cultivate peace in our hearts and live meaningful and fulfilling lives💖 Namaste
It's April 2020 during the COVID-19 Quarantine! Brene, your words remain timeless -- and timely. I am sharing this Ted Talk with many friends over the years. And today, I needed to review. Thank you Brene.
My therapist recommended this to me & it just makes so much sense. So many points from my own guarded way of living and how I expect my children to be these perfect little robots as a pose to their true imperfect selfs. Thank you
I am currently reading her book the power of vulnerability and I am so touched by it. Thank you Brené Brown! Who is still watching this video nine years later?
I struggle with depression and anxiety in a big way. About a year ago I stumbled across Brene and she has forever changed my life. Instead of just accepting my mental health challenges I decided since I’m going to be in emotional pain my whole life I rather fight like crazy and dig in all my emotional baggage... I knew it would be painful but it has brought meaning to my life. Before I was suffering and now I’m suffering with purpose and I will keep fighting until I don’t have the strength. Thank you Brene for saving my life. 💜
Ohh thank you so much for saying it this way! I don't know if my depression will ever go away but boy am I trying to make friends with my pain. "Hi, pain, where did you come from? What do you feel like in my body?" This is with a couple's therapist and now also one for individual therapy too. Finally found therapists who are curious about trauma! I am 99.99999% certain that mine is from relational trauma starting very young. What might happen if I can acknowledge the depth of the pain and draw connections between it, where it came from, and what its names are? I'm slowly cultivating friendships with a few people who won't retraumatize me when I talk about my pain. Stephanie, you are Wonder Woman.
This video changed my negative thinking. I didn't believe I was worthy of love & belonging. Brene set out the steps of courage, compassion, connection and vulnerability. I feel hope!
To those saying she is not being vulnerable: the very act of being on stage is vulnerability. Talking about such a taboo subject is vulnerable. Vulnerability does not always take the shape of a crying face in front of others. It is simply us being authentic in spite of the fact that in doing so, we allow others to demean who we really are, authentically. That is vulnerability. I will attain this one day soon.
@Marten Dekker I see your point of view but I doubt the compassion one shows for another without self-compassion is even actually compassion. I don't know the word, probably crippling and loathing on the other but compassion comes from a place of accepting and empathy. IMO Thanks for sharing though
a therapist that I had in 2017 recommended Brene's TED talks and books to me. Vulnerability is still something I struggle with, but I've watched these videos a few times over the years and they do help
Watching this in July 2020 (10 years later), and it still feels like she's only given this talk yesterday! P.S.: I, too, am a PhD qualitative researcher, and I like the idea of calling myself a "storyteller".
Everyone out there seriously needs to get the audio book "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene. This is just a snipet of what she has learned about vulnerability and shame and empathy and so much more. It's truly worth listening to. It has changed my life ❤️
Today I am turning 22 and this is the first video I watch when I am 22. I love this speech because I am inspired and feeling love myself more. Thank you Brene, you have taken me out of the dark place and I will rewatch this video for the stormy days to come.
The courage to set low standards for oneself? Shouldn't we have the courage to be perfect and the courage and strength to pick ourselves up if we fail? Why would my standard be imperfection when that cannot compare to perfection one bit?
"That's all I have." Wow. Nine years later I can tell you had a lot. A whole lot. And you're not afraid to stop giving. And what you give is a lot. A whole lot. Thank you Brené! I love you!
I cannot describe how much I love Brené and her insights. Not a day goes by when I don't revise my notes I made by studying her work and constantly incorporate them in life and work. She's such a human unicorn! 💝 🦄
Never in my life was I scared of showing my vulnerability. I talked about my emotions openly. I undertook many brave things as a solo woman. But at some point, for long stretches at a time, I seemed to have been exposed to people who shot poison arrows at my vulnerability, which eventually floored me. So my advice is this, if you dare to be vulnerable, beware of emotional attackers, and people who suck your energy. I am a Highly Sensitive Person for whom showing vulnerability can have dire consequences. So be warned. Forewarned is forearmed, right? ;~)
I'll say that while vulnerability is good and helpful for connecting with people, people in general should show discretion on who they are vulnerable with and what they share. Some people will not be as open/apt to respond well, and that can be for a variety of reasons, whether it be not understanding the situation, lack of maturity, lack of emotional awareness/response in general, etc. i.e, it'd be a bad idea to tell a known gossiper your secrets
They mistake your vulnerability as weakness, and if you are highly sensitive (I am too) you tend to be too open emotionally and spiritually. When the arrow hits it's the worst feeling in the world. Use these experiences to weed out the vampires, sending strength xx
Yes - Mostly WE MUST choose wisely who we want to be vulnerable with... And sometimes we have to step out (knowing there will be critics) just as Brene Brown did by demonstrating witht this video. CHeck out more of her videos she speaks into your well stated topic more~
That's so true/good advice. I think when people take advantage of vulnerability, it's sometimes because they're jealous or ashamed of themselves that they can't get healthily in touch with their own vulnerabilities. Then of course, there are those people who have other motives for causing harm.
Wow!! This was incredible. Literally had goosebumps and could feel my heart being impacted the truth and weight of her words. Thank you so much for this talk. This was amazing
Mrs.Brown has successfully touched the core of what makes us feel fearful and less. Shame makes us human, but also connects us. One of my favorite talks.
People who dont believe theyre worthy of love or belonging feel that way because it's been lacking their whole lives while they see everyone else surrounded by love and acceptance. They internalize this and figure they must not worthy of it or theyre lacking something that everyone else has which is preventing them from belonging. Thats what it comes down to. Someone who feels theyre worthy of all the love and acceptance they're receiving have always been receiving that love, they don't know anything else.
I am so grateful for this video. 13 years old and still rings true. I feel like what she revealed to the world then is standard practice now for so many of us. SO thankful for this trailblazer, the original text to return to
I watched this for the first time two years ago. Vulnerability felt like a very important topic but I couldn’t quite get a good understanding of how to achieve it. I’ve been going to therapy ever since, and today I decided to rewatch this. I am honestly surprised at how much my understanding developed, I can now recognize the complexity of the concepts attached to it which I am now more aware of. I can’t say I’ve reached a good point of balance within myself yet, but I feel closer than ever before. My life experiences, fueled by greater awareness brought by therapy, have truly changed the way I perceive myself and the world - the “perceptual expansion” she mentions early on in the video.
Brilliant. I look for practical outcomes in most videos and podcasts these days, and this video is about being as practical for achieving long-term happiness, fulfillment and joy as it can be. The speaker is a motivational giant and hopefully the opportunity to start being vulnerable and open to other people sticks to me.
"You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle. But you are worthy of love and belonging."
I swear I heard that and it unblocked trauma I was not aware of
i cried when she said this
We are imperfect, and are wired for struggle. But we are worthy of respect, love and belonging.
This... brought tears to my eyes
Love that quote.
i saw the other day a comment on her book in amazon that said that the book was not good because she uses really common language for a woman with university studies. I'll never understand how people pretend critical and important information to reach a large population using really specific and confusing terms just to give the image of profesionalism. This woman is really good at communicating and is explaining something useful and important.
"The sign of real intelligence and understanding is being able to explain concepts in the most simplest terms possible."
When I was going into my teaching education, this was repeated many times to us.
You are so correct, I can't imagine being so pretentious as to dismiss someone's extensive education and research abilities based on the language they use to convey their findings to anyone of any educational background.
100% agree with you! She considered herself a storyteller so her language will speak to all audience. If she used deep vocabulary the book will read like another research book.
The comment was probably from someone who also had university studies that feels that if they don’t use $20 words every other sentence in an effort to “prove” their own “education”, then they’re not going to be taken seriously…aka, it seems like they’re unintentionally expressing their own vulnerability. Give me someone who’s comfortable saying “bullshit” any day over some who feels they have to use some clinical …bullshit….term to try to get their point across and prove how “smart” they are.
real knowledgeable person will explain everything simply
POV: you keep coming back to this video because it once changed your life and you need to remind yourself that it’s okay to be vulnerable! And you keep sending it to anyone who struggles with vulnerability
❤❤❤
Not all heroes wear capes
It's not about being a hero it's about being human. Not good not bad but necessary. As a suicidal person I always come back to this for 13 years now.❤❤❤
You too huh? Your woman send you too?
It's crazy how true this is . About four years back when I passed high school I was broken , insecure and vulnerable. My best friend left me. The boy I liked rejected me. For the same fucking girl. I thought when I enter uni I'll change it all , I will not be this pathetic person I am , I'll change for good. That's what I did, I started relying less on others , closed myself off, had friends some really good people but I never allowed myself to get close as a protective measure. I tried to numb myself of all the feelings, good or bad. Everything was going well good grades , good social life but I was not happy. I couldn't understand what was wrong. I felt hopeless , without a direction. One day I broke down in front of a friend. Got everything on my mind out, showed her my pathetic side which I was scared to face. It was difficult. But I felt 1% better. So after watching this talk, everything made sense . I'm still not comfortable in being vulnerable in front of people. But I am trying .So anyone else suffering, you should give it a try too.
Looks like you showing your vulnerability to a friend most likely made you feel a bit better because you saw how she listened too you and cared and was able to trust you more being more authentic. Hopefully this is just the beginning. Be you. Love you. Others will too. ❤
always come back here from time to time because... well... it's necessary.
Same here, brother. She really woke me up about 1.5 years ago but I always need a refresher.
So necessary.
This is my 5th time. Always find something new.
Trying to watch it everyday for year :)
I'm here with you
Up until 24 hours ago, before I watched this video I made fun of people who loved so recklessly and willingly gave into the vulnerability in order to experience something beautiful. And I know now that that judgement came from a place of shame. It came from a place that had been hurt and rejected and not chosen multiple times by multiple people. It came from a voice that told itself to harden and be strong and don't let people in anymore, be you're own happiness, your own love, don't be weak or vulnerable to men because that'll get you hurt. But this Ted Talk changed my life. It changed my perception. And although it took some brutal self analysis and judgement, I instantly felt a sense of relief as she spoke of how it's okay, NECESSARY even to let that in, to live your life with vulnerability and compassion and boundaries so thank you. You probably saved my life and future college career.
I couldn't have said it better. Thank you for your comment.
totally agree thank u
I am with you Karly. It is such a frustration to watch authentic, non-insecure, non-codependent love expressed by people. For so much of my life, I felt such a distaste for genuine expressions of love that I watched others so naturally show to each other. My cynicism wouldn't let me recognize the beauty there. It seems to have been built on a constant frustration at not seeming to be able to connect with people the way everyone else seemed to so easily, and because I never confronted it, it grew into this caustic cynicism that steals any joy or connection from any experience I had. It sucks that some of us find natural emotion more difficult (sometimes seemingly ungraspable) for whatever reasons. I know feeling is better than not feeling, though. Having felt both, there's no comparison, even though the addiction to despair or cynicism hides the discomfort of disconnection for a while. The addiction to numbness seems like the best I can hope for sometimes. But it's not.
Me too. You have inspired me to follow your example. Beautifully written.
Yeah, let me know how that all worked out when you're 60. Marry well and don't be a dumbie.
Content aside, this is an inspirational talk for any scientist. This woman is a SCIENTIST - think of all the detail, methods, metrics, statistics, alternate theories, debates with her peers, that could have been brought into this report of six years of work. That huge hammer of science has been honed down to a razor edge of a few crisp points, delivered with calmness, conviction and humor, in an 18 minute talk. WOW. I am inspired.
Bruce Meneghin Warm and fuzzy psychobabble.
chippety pop If it helps just ONE person it ain't psychobabble. Jealous much?
chippety pop Not everyone can be as perfect as you are.
***** well by saying that, he is not ;)
+Bruce Meneghin This is why I like her so much!
Still watching this TEDTalk in 2023. It blew out my mind. Thanks Brené Brown. 🙌
There is an updated version on netflix
Same!
@@tomasambrulaitis3585thank you!
Same❤
I watch it regularly. I have a recurring reminder
9:32 that's what I'm doing now. I'm a shy, introspective person, and the last few years I put on my mind I had to try to be more extroverted, talk more, but this latest months I realized that this was making me feel worst, because I'm not the way I wanted to be, and when I tried to be talkative I couldn't, so this made me sad and disappointed. So now I'm accepting myself, I'm a introspective person, and I'm fine with it. I don't care what people think about it, because people tend to judge us.
Same here. Well said
Good for you, be you, people do judge anyway.
Good job girl 👏👏👏 I'm also introvert and curently working on loving and accepting myself.
I found myself in the same place, but when i heard a podcast about Introvert people, i felt identified and i realized the good side of being an introvert. I started to feel much more comfortable and confident with myself. Being introvert isnt bad, and being an extrovert isnt the best either.
Yes, everyone comes with their own gifts and talents. How boring would be a world without diversity.
So resonated with the last episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. "There's no such thing as perfect. You are beautiful as you are, Courage. With all your imperfections, you can do anything." said the bathtub barracuda.
“The things I do for love” 🥺
Even reading this brings tears to my eyes.
Needed this. I’m always building up walls. Not wanting anyone to come emotionally closer. But eventually I have to let it down and talk to someone. Otherwise you’re just built up with anger and sadness
Just let go.
@@Jayskiallthewayski Easier said than done.
Yes. Misery. Jealousy. Spite. We all want love. We want those things.
It sucks when you make yourself vulnerable, and others use it against you. It nips in the bud this whole "learn to be vulnerable " idea.
you said it all ...
I'm a therapist. I still watch this for a reminder for not only myself but my clients I serve. It never gets old.
So you are a scammer that steals peoples money, time and sanity?
@@VonRibbittwhoa
love her warmth in this talk. I can feel her energy from here.
+Neha raj i love how you're beautiful and are concerned with aspects of the soul simultaneously.
Thank you for the thoughtful comment Anthony :) Anthony Tofiles
Anthony's trying to get in your pants...dont be too vulnerable!
Haha thanks for looking out Jesse Jesse Rice
+Jesse Rice too real 😂
She finishes with, “that’s all I have”.
That was 8 years ago ...
Her “enough” still moves the world
We are all so very vulnerable ... and we are “enough”.
Matangaro Matangaro who is she??
@@Mellyjelly1 she is a researcher and writer:
brenebrown.com/
@@Mellyjelly1 and Storyteller ;)
zubairhotelier@gmail.com
I found her thru, of all people, Tim Hawkins, an amazingly gifted Christian comedian & musician. Which kind of opened my eyes that even people of faith need to seek help because they have problems too.
Vulnerability is the key to all and any human connections. Without that key ingredient there will always be something missing within a relationship. Being able to be completely transparent with someone you love is a gift that some people never get to experience.
Hi paige i saw your post. I watched 5 years ago. Today it seems very appropriate to review. This election hurts so much. Brene gives encouragement to feel it and move on.
1111111111111111111111111111¹1111111111n t0 b
Wonderfully stated! Thanks!
I have Complex PTSD and cannot trust anyone.
It can get better with time, if you want it and work towards it. Otherwise youll cease to grow, stagnation = decay= death.
This is the first video I watch in 2024. I learned how to accept my emotions whether they are good or bad. I learned how to accept my vulnerability and imperfections. I think I'm ready for a new me in 2024. Happy new year to anyone who reads this
I hope your new year started off strong. Wishing you so much joy and peace in your new year
Hope you’re having a great year. Wishing you joy, here in April
😊@@VianoMusicAcademy
I hope your 2024 is going very well 💯!!!
My therapist sent me this ted talk when I was in college. I feel like I’m just now understanding what I needed to take away from it.
Bri Burke my therapist sent me today.
My sponsor sent me to it 6 years ago and I’m still seeing layers and layers. It’s wonderful!
My therapist send me here too
I think they have a Playlist for all therapists on this planet here on yt and they are required to recommend this to at least one patient each month
same
18:20 - “You’re imperfect and wired for struggle and you’re worthy of love and belonging.” 👏🏼 ❤️
0
To sum up
🎉
That one hit me. So perfectly said.
"In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be really seen."
"The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging."
"The origin of the word "courage" comes from the word "cour" which means heart, and it means to completely share your story with you whole heart".
"Have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to yourself first, and fully embrace your vulnerability to create connections."
"What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful."
"Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear, but it is also the birthplace of joy, happiness, creativity, belonging and love."
"You are imperfect and wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging."
"Believe in yourself and say: I AM ENOUGH"
Thanks for quoting the video for me so I don't have to sit through Ted's toxic videos for school.
how do we allow ourselves to be seen? I want to connect with people..
I talked to someone about struggling with not feeling good enough and she asked me to yell I AM ENOUGH Out loud and it was embarrassing but it helped a lot.
I don't even think I know how to be vulnerable. I got involved with a married man. I never thought that would happen to me. I rarely date and I do tend to get involved with things that don't work. He had told me that if I felt that it was too overwhelming that I should do what I needed to do for myself. When it got difficult because I couldn't see him all the time I called it off. It took me two years to come to this decision. It was hard on me, but I actually felt better. It took me a long time to get to know him too.
I will NEVER feel like this! I will die before I feel this... must be a great feeling for those who can
I just started a really intense program in college and had a tough day in the lab, went home and felt unmotivated to study. My relationship is a mess and most importantly, I felt extremely lonely.
Wanted to change things up so I searched for this video, which I have initially watched 6 years ago and I remember it was inspiring.
Watched the whole video, tears run down my face and I realized that I was being too harsh on myself and forgot to be grateful for what I have.
Thank you Brene, you have taken me out of the dark place and I will rewatch this video for the stormy days to come. Life is not easy but gotta have fun and enjoy it while we can. If you are struggling like me, I genuinely hope things turn up for you and you can find the light in your life. Best wishes!!!!
I relate so much! Just graduated after a really intense 2 year program. I had a light bulb moment a while back where it occurred to me that I'm so hard on myself. Trying to make a new habit of looking at all of my thoughts/feelings (especially the ones that are so automatic) and ask if I would have that same thought about someone I care about, or say to them what I say to myself, or apply that same pressure, or see the situation in that same light, etc... I knew immediately that most of those negative things I would not even think up about someone else... And if I treated others the way I treat myself, no one would like me, I'd be awful. I think it took so long to click for me because it's all so automatic, I'm used to the thoughts and sometimes its almost unconscious and takes pause to spot it happening. I also am not the 'classic' - cliche version of a perfectionist. Anyway, having realized that I just have to make a habit of be aware of those patterns of thinking.
@@steph7614 Thank you for sharing! I also relate to what you said about giving ourselves the negative talk. We should be the biggest enabler instead of the biggest critics of ourselves. But hey, having awareness is the first step!❤ Wish you all the best and congratulations on completing the program! 🥳
@@charliegarcia5058 Thank you! Good luck to you too!
chaliegarcia...Hang in there, Carlie...YOU GOT THIS ! ! ! ! 🦄🦄🦄
Thank you for sharing but right now I am also in that kind of situation where I am so hard on myself right now.
pov: your therapist told you to watch this
Still sucks
yeah
Yea :/
Where is the lie
Truth
Here from Netflix. It’s baffling to me why anyone could leave hateful, hurtful comments about someone like her, sharing so beautifully from her deepest, most sacred places. I think she is gorgeous - brilliant smile and twinkling eyes and she presents herself with grace and confidence. Her family is blessed to have her ♥️ Thank you Brene for accepting your destiny to live in the big “arena” and for showing us a better way to “do life”.
Well said - she's life-changing!
I never heard of her befor and came upon this on recommendation videos . She is gorgeous inside and out . Beautiful looking too
Hurt people hurt people. You're not baffled. Offended possibly. Lashing out is a thing these days. It's the shame of not good enough imho while hating others who seem happy, unashamed and informed. Listen.
I dont know if this would be interpreted as hurtful or mean, but I don't think anything she said in this video is even remotely new information. We've all heard the "Love yourself and you will be loved" crap one thousand times. It's just some words that sound good, nothing more.
I mean if it’s just “love yourself crap to ya then no wonder it’s not working. Your not actually using it and a such it’s not working for ya.
‘Blame’ in research is defined as the way to discharge pain and anger on somebody else. Loved it!!!
1:40 - a piece of her research that expanded her perception
3:14 - connection ````~
4:40 - shame
5:24 - vulnerability
6:53 - worthiness
8:05 - whole-hearted
8:45 - courage
9:43 - vulnerability (embracing it)
11:17 - a "little" breakdown
12:43 - vulnerability is the core of shame & fear but also the birthplace of joy/ creativity/ belonging/ love
13:51 - people embrace vulnerability, but that's not her (lol)
14:31 - why do we struggle w/ vulnerability
14:39 - numb
16:21 - you can't numb hard feelings w/o numbing other emotions
17:03 - making everything uncertain, certain
17:34 - perfection
18:31 - pretending
Thank you.
Yes
Thank you
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Brené Brown’s Netflix special brought me here. She is such a powerful and inspiring speaker.
Me too. I love her.
Alex Cantrell me too
Alex Cantrell me too
i think exactly the same!!!!!
Whats it called??
10 years later and I find this speech so emotional. Tears came out unexpectedly. I guess the power of authenticity and vulnerability are timeless.
Thank you for uploading.
I also was so deeply touched... I cried and laughed and wondered
"Vulnerability is the birthplace for love, for creativity for connection"
Vulnerability is my birthplace
lol
You just made me cry!!
Likewise....
Dear Fatma Bahri,
It's heartwarming to see that Brené Brown's speech still resonates with you after all these years. The power of vulnerability is indeed timeless and a reminder that authenticity is essential to leading a fulfilling life. It's always inspiring to hear stories of how people are impacted by such speeches, and we appreciate you sharing your emotional reaction with us. Thank you for watching and commenting on this video.
Best regards,
ChatGPT
This is the most transformative, insightful, and heartfelt TED talk ever.
only a sith speak in absolutes.
😆 relax, no it’s not…
heck yes it is. And to see that it is ten years old. wow.
@@wynton921 It is and it is not.
sounds like she's a master of talking bullshite.
My TAKEAWAY from this :
Embrace life's messiness and lean into discomfort, as connection and vulnerability give meaning to our existence. Shame stems from fear of disconnection, leading to a lack of love and belonging. However, those who embrace vulnerability believe in their worthiness, showing compassion to themselves and others. They understand that being imperfect is courageous and beautiful. Instead of seeking control and predictability, they choose to live authentically and embrace their emotions fully. Blame only serves to deflect pain. By allowing ourselves to be seen and loved wholeheartedly, we find fulfillment. Despite uncertainties, practicing gratitude and joy reaffirms our sense of being enough.
Beautifully put
I was born decades ago with a really great musical ear, with exceptional eyesight , i was athletic and handsome. I still retain a lot and walk with confidence . When i watched this video i was momentarily distracted by the subtitles, when it said ''laughter'' etc. At that moment i felt great appreciation for those who could watch this but could not hear , how they watch it and can still enjoy it by reading the subtitles, not hearing laughter but they can imagine the audience laughing at what she said.
I've been blessed so much in my life , despite many of my own problems over the years. I think it is a great thing to add subtitles for those who cannot hear. I can't imagine what that life is like, and it's good that we are connected with eachother in positive ways.
+RimeTime Thank you, thank you. I am deaf, and I deeply appreciate your understanding. So glad the subtitles show everything in TedTalks!
+Kimberly Han thank you too Kimberly.
It's often been said that those things we do not possess are maybe contrasted with other gifts. There is no doubt that a person born withOUT the ability to hear can feel and be aware of many things that others miss.
+RimeTime Your comment made me smile. Sending over good vibes and lots of love from So Cal!
+RimeTime When I fart I connect positively to everyone in a room -I like to think so anyway :)
+RimeTime Every fart for a deaf person is an 'SBD'
This TedTalk made me cry. I fight vulnerability so much. Something to work on.
❤️ you're enough.
T Stanton Stay vulnerable ;) It's actually beautiful !
But inner child therapy, sexual transmutation and solving your own eodipus complex can really help strengthen that core.
Y Roncero I remember telling my mom, I value my vulnerable ability, she asked me if I knew what I was saying. So many people associate vulnerability with being weak. I see it as one of my greatest strength.
I feel you... Its so hard to tell someone that youre terrified of telling them how terrified you are, when you are still working on feeling enough. I agree to the inner child therapy comment, its definately the place to start. Good luck!
+T Stanton It made me cry too, but because I allow myself to be vulnerable, which so many people find discomforting and often criticize. I found so much validation in this, and that helps...
9:20 "as it turns out we cant practise compassion for others unless we can be kind to ourselves"
This killed me, it made so much sense
The biggest load of bullshit line during the entire speech.
💗
@@alegriart the delivery, and make it available and receivable for everyone is the key. She litteraly measured what she's talking about. A researcher, she accept to change herself too to help others. And she won.
That's not on psychology books. Can't you see why is so important put yourself first in the page and than be able to enrich, to give hope and help people to reconnect with them self while the whole entire society is saying your not ok, you are not right to be what you are and feel what you do feel?
since working out and feeling better. since endorphins is derived of two words. endogenous. meaning from within the body. and morphin. a pain killer. so essentially working out regularly (no not like a gym rat nut. just some good old lifting weights and staying healthy. its more than looking good. its about the mental health for me. its even helping me with confidence to open up more. i told a girl im falling for her. but shes afraid of being vulnerable. which is why i came here. and my god. im happy i did
This woman changed my life and helps my sobriety and recovery every day. Three years this coming January 2, 2025.
I loved this talk. Being a 28 disabled woman (who was previously a fully fit dancer) I understand embracing being vulnerable. In the thirteen years I've dealt with my condition, one that leaves me in constant agony & using a walking stick, I can honestly say I wouldn't change it. It's part of who I am, and I'm happy with that person. Hopefully, this will inspire others to embrace themselves.
+Garnet Seren - Well said! People often do not know real vulnerability, unless they have had some awful life issues. I love your attitude and spirit. Being disabled myself, I understand the pain, both physical/emotional/spiritual, and trust God daily to help me & my family. I too, try to keep a positive attitude, as I believe that helps me and all of those whom I encounter, even if just a few minutes a day - it can make a difference, you just never know.
I know when I am at my weakest (not most vulnerable necessarily), God shows up in amazing ways! When I am vulnerable and share with others (truly open up and am 'real'), is when I find that others really 'connect' with me! The BEST thing about being #vulnerable is that if you and I are willing to be vulnerable, we are also giving permission for others to be as well! It is so important, esp. in this virtual world of ours, to be vulnerable with one another (when led to do so), so that others can experience you and I in real & #genuine ways. So, let's all Connect, Share & be Genuine with someone today!
+James Buchanan Careful president Buchanan, your insecurity is showing. Using righteous indignation to attempt to assassinate the character of another you deem inferior to make yourself feel powerful is cheap and beneath someone of your reputation.
+James Buchanan I am so sorry that you feel that way about someone you have never met & know nothing about. And since I do not know you either, I will not seek to justify myself, feelings or life experience. However, I do wish to give you a piece of advice. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. It's amazing what the power of words can do & it may be beneficial for yourself to stop slandering others & instead try to encourage someone to do or be better. Positivity is much more productive than hate.
+James Buchanan Just sad how people have to go around and express their feeling just to attempt hurt others: "I don't agree and thats why I'm gonna make my best to humiliate and make them miserable!"... Seriously, what do you know to go judge like this? Even more, why the need to disrespect and hurt? As much as you try you can't stop people from moving forward. My sincere feelings for you, I hope you can evolve and at least learn the meanings of respect an compassion.
I never said they did. What I was highlighting was the difference from being an able-bodied person to someone being disabled (I have been both) and the vulnerability that brought. I wasn't born with my disability, it happened after a bad accident, followed by a severe illness. I went from being fiercely independent, to having to use a walking stick before I'm even 30 as well as needing my husband's help to be able to shower or prepare a meal. Going from someone that nothing ever phased, to being too scared to even sit in my garden on my own. That was the vulnerability I was talking about. And the only reason I am explaining this is in a bid to make you realise that sometimes you need to stop & consider what might be someone else's story. If you still choose to be narrow minded & rude, well... that's on you. At least I tried.
I love this message so much. To be vulnerable is to be open, to allow your emotions to be set free. To be vulnerable means to be authentic, to remove any masks you are wearing because you don't need to pretend to be someone you are not. You are worthy of love and belongingness, you are worthy of being seen, you are enough, and you matter ♥💜💙
❤
Yes! I am learning this at 70!
"To feel this vulnerable is to be alive"
Once you feel worthy, greatness will follow
Liam Prendergast bhg
"Once you feel worthy, greatness will follow."
You simply cannot know this for a fact. Not everyone who feels worthy ends up with "greatness" being thrown at them. It sounds nice, but has no basis in reality.
I learned about the magic power of vulnerability many years ago when i noticed that's what drew me into people. Being vulnerable makes you so like me, like all of us, and it stops the belief that others are different, better, more made for success. But, vulnerability is uncomfortable, and takes courage, as she mentions. It is what i admire most in people, and why I have always believed that vulnerability is what makes people hear you.
Vulnurability needs to be addressed by us all. As a 18 year old college student surrounded by guy friends in my dorm, we have all become experts of pushing down our fear and shame and deepest vulnerabilities because it's easy to blend into the crowd. It saddens me. Recently I've noticed that I have shame for just having emotions. And that needs to stop!
I'm feeling you
Inspiring awareness you have. Love it. Go for it, Keep inspiring yourself and others xx
It's to survive many people die by being vulnerable.
@@MindlessTubeThat's a different kind of vulnerability, the kind of vulnerability she's talking about, (the vulnerability to be authentically yourself) true to yourself and those around you,can lead to you feeling more alive, and fulfilled. Try it, you might like it? Namaste 💖
My therapist recommended me to watch her and im glad I listened very true!!!! 🙏💯🙏💋
me too!
Same!!!
same here!!
Michael Dempsey same!
Same same
I love how Brené Brown puts it. I have watched her TED talk speech a number of times and I'm always learning something. I can't believe that after so many years of trying to fit in into a denomination, social group, or even family, I have to sacrify my identity to feel accepted and not judge. I came to realized that this is my issue and not of the ones sorrounded by me, so I need to be brave and change my perspective if I want to be happy with myself and the things I want to accomplish in life.
And in order the chance your perspective, you have to heal the emotions already within yourself. ❤
I am going to the 30s and never in my life I have cried and laughed so much at the same time. I really can’t believe I didn’t watch this video earlier. Blessed by you, Brene!
haha, yes!
im in tears right now. this is beautiful, hit me in every level.
check out: hackers the internet's immune system & kelly mcgonigal how to make stress your friend....
never thought i would feel more comfortable knowing that hackers are out there but i do now, and we should all be thankful for their vigilance because most are good and belong to a group or society that inherently keeps them in check... and kelly's speech regarding stress as being helpful and beneficial to us is amazing and also something i've always felt but never knew how to logic or put in words - and the best part is that it's evidence based...
I’ve watched this at different points in my life & I’m still receiving gifts from her awareness; brilliance.
she is a gift!
She is awesome, I have never seen someone smile so much during a Ted talk!
tum itna kyon muskura rahe ho ... kya gam hai jo chhupa rahe ho?
18:11 "You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging."
"We accept the love we think we deserve." Stephen Chbosky in The Perks of Being a Wallflower
powerful! thank you for sharing this quote
We learn that the love we deserve is our own. Because only can we truly know the heights of our worthiness when we have given it to ourselves
Mhmm... 🤔
_I _*_like_*_ this._
As Clint Eastwood said in UNFORGIVEN right before he blew Gene Hackman's brains out, "DESERVES GOT NOTHIN TO DO WITH IT". It sounds good, but we accept things we're not sure we deserve all the time, including Love, if anybody actually knows what the word means.
“Connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives meaning to our lives.”
Wrong. That is similar to those religious-types who claim we were born "with a purpose". Life is open to interpretation by anybody with a functioning brain. This person claims to possess knowledge no one else has, which is also something the religious will preach.
"Life is open to interpretation," then why you say "wrong?"
@@jaspinirving1007 We were born with the purpose of fulfilling evolution and novelty.
3:12
This is also the core idea of "Death of Ivan Ilitch", by Tolstoy
@@Briancnn The irony, clearly an Atheist and you had to go and use logic.
This is one of the things I think of in regards to vulnerability and connection, whatever that person is is usually what appear when there is anything meaningful.
People who go out of their way to cause DISconnection.
Vulnerability to THAT?
Connection to THAT?
It’s crazy how my brain figured this out on its own over the past year & I randomly got the thought to watch this & now I can finally put into words what I have been feeling the past year! It’s sooo liberating to know that I am on the right track with my mental health & so happy I’m here!
Congratulations on your growth. It's hard work ❤
Ill be back in a year. Writing the same thing. God is so good and working in me.
@@aprilhassell1747Hope you’re doing good
Courage: Latin cor - heart. ‘Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart’ ❤️
When I used to hear people say "Jesus loves you", I thought they were simple... But the idea that someone loves you exactly the way you are, is exactly what she means by "I am enough".
I can say I am blessed without irony. And that in and of itself is a blessing.
Yeah but, isn't it sad that people have to rely on an imaginary being to genuinely feel loved?
Doesn't that just prove that it is unattainable?
I think do.
@@ceIIardoor My point doesn't rely on whether Jesus is real or not. The point is that the feeling of loving yourself, of experiencing the feeling that you are loved and worthy of love is an incredibly rewarding feeling. And those who are blessed to experience that have a fount of love and inspiration to share with others. It just so happens that there is an "imaginary being", an archetype, if you will, of perfect love.
@@ceIIardoor the natural man cannot discern these matters because they are spiritually discerned. Jesus will wait for you to let him into your heart He won't force you. But HE will be there when you look for Him.
@@matthew9369 I love this!
"I lost the fight ... but won my life back." When two people lose, they win.
Rewatching this has helped me get through a really hard time in my life. Thank you for making this accessable to everyone.
Austin Mikael jbcn m bmbhjtbvhjfjtytxclbbkbuugbnm
Same here... trying to get over a very humiliating and rude rejection.
Dear Sindhu no one deserves to be humiliated. I wish that soon you can look back at this and see that going through a bad time made you wiser and more resilient. My respect to you.
@@alexQw33 thanks, Alex. Those are really kind words from you, but maybe we do need some terms and conditions in place when it comes to who you choose to be vulnerable with. Blanket vulnerability doesn't work.
Dear Sindhu, I agree, this is where the wiser you will come in to play. But you can not always see through people, there will be some times where even the wiser you will be deceived. It will hurt .... still, I beg you, not to change, don’t let a bad person change who you are, please continue to let yourself to be vulnerable, continue to grow and continue to learn. If you close your self, probably you will not suffer, but you will not live either. If you take a chance to get hurt, eventually you will find a good person with whom you can build a beautiful relationship. My respect for you.
You can watch this talk at every stage of your life and you will always get something out of it. Note to myself went I am struggling come back to this...
How can you not LOVE Brene Brown. She was the reason I came out of the Mental Health Closet!
Meh. If her other talks are the same as this "Love yourself and everyone else will love you!" recycled trope, then it's very unimpressive.
There’s a reason they say the pen is mightier than the sword. Words have the power to lift people higher than they’ve ever been or tear them down so they’ll never get up again. They have the power to start revolutions, or stop them from every happening. Those words you call “love yourself crap”? Those words saved someone’s life, and gave many others the chance to propose, or get out of the closet, or finally stop listening to words of their bullies. Those words made a difference. They are definitely not crap in the slightest.
"Connection is why we're here, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives."
Love this!!!!
❤
Recently, my therapist told me to watch this TED talk because almost all of my problems are based in shame and not being able to be vulnerable and this video has really good info👍
I feel the same way. There are a lot of us out here. One definition of shame is feeling flawed and defective as a human being. I've been working on shame reduction for a while now and it is an inch by inch process. It's been a while so I've made some progress and I'm completely grateful for the opportunity. Another definition of shame is that it can keep us stuck in place staring down at our feet. I learned both from John Bradshaw who has a great talk on youtube titled "Healing The Shame That Binds You". I highly recommend.
I love you Brene Brown, every time I hear you speak, it feels like I’m getting a hug.
“We pretend that what we’re doing doesn’t have a huge impact on other people” okkk nah that hit differently that is so true
Cannot stress enough how important vulnerability is; I watched this TED Talk for the first time back in my Sophomore year of college and it still sticks with me today, now a Senior in college.
❤
I've just gotten through a struggle with depression and this video has highlighted many things which caused it. I'm better now and this video inspires me. I find it very important to our world today.
what a GOLDEN video, i think this deserves to be seen by everyone, so many powerful lines of dialogue and key points. i have gone through my own "spiritual awakening" aka crying for 20 minutes on my bed while infront of my mums company who i would always hide emotion from because i was worried about how she would see me as such a weak person. but after that and followed by a few more tears in the coming weeks after that moment. and now im at a point where i just accept things for what they are and who people are and who i am as a whole, and life has been so much less stressful and worrisome. i have found a strong sense of calm come into my life and things have been up ever since.
To be vulnerable is to express true intimacy with someone you truly love and care about.
@@alegriart Exactly.
This is a homerun for me personally. I believe our biggest fear is having the courage to be imperfect and also allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Thank you so much. This really helped me understand myself.
I can't be vulnerable with anyone.
We are ashamed of our humanity, which is nuts when you think about it
What do you mean by being ashamed of one's humanity
@@patw9175 , to, że wrażliwość jest cechą ludzką
@@mcjs8640Yes you can, you may feel that way, but if you choose to, you can. Is it that you don't feel safe to be vulnerable ? Cause we all feel like that, it's a matter of being willing to love, even when we don't feel loved, being open to the possibilities of being loved, there's no guarantee, except for the guarantee of not being loved if we don't open ourselves up to it 😢 and that is no way to live, being so afraid of rejection that you never know what true love feels like... that's the whole reason we're here, because love is the greatest gift and it's the best present/presence in the world, please don't deny yourself of this, because in the end you will regret it and you will just have to come back and do it all over again 😢 Be gentle and tender with yourself, just as you would a hurt and frightened child, because that's what we all are, and we all need to remember that and act accordingly, only then will we cultivate peace in our hearts and live meaningful and fulfilling lives💖 Namaste
It's April 2020 during the COVID-19 Quarantine! Brene, your words remain timeless -- and timely. I am sharing this Ted Talk with many friends over the years. And today, I needed to review. Thank you Brene.
I just saw this one year later on April 20
That's great, VJ! I do the same.
Imagine being in 2020 lmao bozo
absolute mic drop and then "that's all I have, thank you"
My therapist recommended this to me & it just makes so much sense. So many points from my own guarded way of living and how I expect my children to be these perfect little robots as a pose to their true imperfect selfs. Thank you
This is the THING I wanted to hear in my life at this time. Fits so f**king perfectly into my life.
I hear you. Same here. This resonated with me so much that I cried. Really happy that I've stumbled upon this today.
Marina Tsenovaya Glad that you too find the talk resonating.
I am currently reading her book the power of vulnerability and I am so touched by it. Thank you Brené Brown! Who is still watching this video nine years later?
it was annoyingly helpful and necessary to watch. loved it.
I struggle with depression and anxiety in a big way. About a year ago I stumbled across Brene and she has forever changed my life. Instead of just accepting my mental health challenges I decided since I’m going to be in emotional pain my whole life I rather fight like crazy and dig in all my emotional baggage... I knew it would be painful but it has brought meaning to my life. Before I was suffering and now I’m suffering with purpose and I will keep fighting until I don’t have the strength.
Thank you Brene for saving my life. 💜
Suffering with purpose
Those are some powerful words girl x
Ohh thank you so much for saying it this way! I don't know if my depression will ever go away but boy am I trying to make friends with my pain. "Hi, pain, where did you come from? What do you feel like in my body?" This is with a couple's therapist and now also one for individual therapy too. Finally found therapists who are curious about trauma! I am 99.99999% certain that mine is from relational trauma starting very young. What might happen if I can acknowledge the depth of the pain and draw connections between it, where it came from, and what its names are? I'm slowly cultivating friendships with a few people who won't retraumatize me when I talk about my pain. Stephanie, you are Wonder Woman.
This makes so much sense. Thank you.
@@HK-mw1ym I'm glad I could help
If you have Audible, I'd HIGHLY recommend downloading the entire book, "The Power of Vulnerability" narrated by her. It's amazing!
+Erica Lalak Thanks, will do.
+Erica Lalak All her books are amazing . I have the gift of imperfection and it is phenomenal
Choco Candy I haven't read that one yet. I'll definitely check it out! Thanks :D
+Choco Candy I ordered the gift of imperfection today, looking forward to reading it!
just finished listening to it and i absolutely loved it!!! :)
I still periodically watch this talk to help keep me on course to staying in touch with my vulnerability and compassion in the face of adversity.
She really calmed me down. She makes so many key points to being ok with who we are. Wonderful speech. Thank You.
This video changed my negative thinking. I didn't believe I was worthy of love & belonging. Brene set out the steps of courage, compassion, connection and vulnerability. I feel hope!
To those saying she is not being vulnerable: the very act of being on stage is vulnerability. Talking about such a taboo subject is vulnerable. Vulnerability does not always take the shape of a crying face in front of others. It is simply us being authentic in spite of the fact that in doing so, we allow others to demean who we really are, authentically. That is vulnerability. I will attain this one day soon.
"we can't have compassion for others if we don't treat ourselves kindly" so true and dope. I am learning to be fully myself and vulnerable.
@Marten Dekker I see your point of view but I doubt the compassion one shows for another without self-compassion is even actually compassion. I don't know the word, probably crippling and loathing on the other but compassion comes from a place of accepting and empathy. IMO Thanks for sharing though
I love ur comment #URAWK
a therapist that I had in 2017 recommended Brene's TED talks and books to me. Vulnerability is still something I struggle with, but I've watched these videos a few times over the years and they do help
Watching this in July 2020 (10 years later), and it still feels like she's only given this talk yesterday!
P.S.: I, too, am a PhD qualitative researcher, and I like the idea of calling myself a "storyteller".
I am also reading this, this july2020
whatcha researching?
I am between careers, and in the end that's what I would like to be remembered by - as a storyteller.
I mean presenting your research is basically telling the story of your adventure when doing your research
To some extent, calling someone a storyteller is simply calling them human. Humanity shapes communication and communication shaped humanity.
Please, read her book "Daring Greatly", the one who goes deeper.into this subject. It is lifechaning... Fantastic!
Would love to! Thanks for sharing.
Came to the comments for this info. Thanks.
I am reading it now
GREAT BOOK!
@@gyovanachristofolli2047 how is it?
“Lean into the discomfort of the work”
Such good advice
"DARING GREATLY" is her book that expands on this talk. It's a good read.
Everyone out there seriously needs to get the audio book "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene. This is just a snipet of what she has learned about vulnerability and shame and empathy and so much more. It's truly worth listening to. It has changed my life ❤️
YES I have read all her work and that set of audio talks is still my favorite summation of her work.
Mine too I’m now reading rising strong 💪 excellent so far
Yes that 6hr version on Audible is fabulous.
You're imperfect and you're wired to struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
Great one!
I know that, but it doesn't help.
Yes I am I am created in the image of God- read your Bible it will bring it all together
That sounds like an advert lol
Who else is watching this in October 2019? Omg I'm fascinated and getting so informed!
Nokuthula Kubheka my counsler today told me to listen to Brene Brown...so this is my first time listening and OMG she is amazing
Lol I love this! Dr Brown is amazing
@@KymGphoto Right????! I love her
I am.... some deep talk.. she is beautifully amazing...
I had never heard of her. I am fascinated
Today I am turning 22 and this is the first video I watch when I am 22. I love this speech because I am inspired and feeling love myself more. Thank you Brene, you have taken me out of the dark place and I will rewatch this video for the stormy days to come.
The courage to be imperfect, thank you.
The courage to set low standards for oneself? Shouldn't we have the courage to be perfect and the courage and strength to pick ourselves up if we fail? Why would my standard be imperfection when that cannot compare to perfection one bit?
When people tell you your not good enough your whole life, you feel like you need to be perfect and not make any mistakes to be accepted
@@htht856 go ahead and chase perfection and see how happy that makes you when you realise its unattainable
I read this at the same time she said that
"That's all I have." Wow. Nine years later I can tell you had a lot. A whole lot. And you're not afraid to stop giving. And what you give is a lot. A whole lot. Thank you Brené! I love you!
I cannot describe how much I love Brené and her insights. Not a day goes by when I don't revise my notes I made by studying her work and constantly incorporate them in life and work. She's such a human unicorn! 💝 🦄
Aww, that's awesome! I feel the same way. I would love to read your notes if you don't mind sharing, that'd be awesomee
the gift that keeps on giving. Oh my. She helped me make a decision that I should have seen a long time ago. Love her. She is so sincere.
Never in my life was I scared of showing my vulnerability. I talked about my emotions openly. I undertook many brave things as a solo woman. But at some point, for long stretches at a time, I seemed to have been exposed to people who shot poison arrows at my vulnerability, which eventually floored me.
So my advice is this, if you dare to be vulnerable, beware of emotional attackers, and people who suck your energy. I am a Highly Sensitive Person for whom showing vulnerability can have dire consequences. So be warned.
Forewarned is forearmed, right? ;~)
I'll say that while vulnerability is good and helpful for connecting with people, people in general should show discretion on who they are vulnerable with and what they share.
Some people will not be as open/apt to respond well, and that can be for a variety of reasons, whether it be not understanding the situation, lack of maturity, lack of emotional awareness/response in general, etc.
i.e, it'd be a bad idea to tell a known gossiper your secrets
They mistake your vulnerability as weakness, and if you are highly sensitive (I am too) you tend to be too open emotionally and spiritually. When the arrow hits it's the worst feeling in the world. Use these experiences to weed out the vampires, sending strength xx
Yes - Mostly WE MUST choose wisely who we want to be vulnerable with... And sometimes we have to step out (knowing there will be critics) just as Brene Brown did by demonstrating witht this video. CHeck out more of her videos she speaks into your well stated topic more~
I think vulnerability is about sharing yourself with safe people...and having boundaries.
That's so true/good advice. I think when people take advantage of vulnerability, it's sometimes because they're jealous or ashamed of themselves that they can't get healthily in touch with their own vulnerabilities. Then of course, there are those people who have other motives for causing harm.
Wow!! This was incredible. Literally had goosebumps and could feel my heart being impacted the truth and weight of her words. Thank you so much for this talk. This was amazing
Mrs.Brown has successfully touched the core of what makes us feel fearful and less. Shame makes us human, but also connects us. One of my favorite talks.
Watching this again…years later. Feels different and yet still the same. This rejuvenated my soul. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
People who dont believe theyre worthy of love or belonging feel that way because it's been lacking their whole lives while they see everyone else surrounded by love and acceptance. They internalize this and figure they must not worthy of it or theyre lacking something that everyone else has which is preventing them from belonging. Thats what it comes down to. Someone who feels theyre worthy of all the love and acceptance they're receiving have always been receiving that love, they don't know anything else.
Or the people who allow themselves to be worthy are just somewhat naive.
I watch this talk every time I'm struggling with big emotions. Learning to live with courage has changed my life and how I relate to people.
I am so grateful for this video. 13 years old and still rings true. I feel like what she revealed to the world then is standard practice now for so many of us. SO thankful for this trailblazer, the original text to return to
How did I just found this talk now? How have I lived years not knowing her? This is amazing!
I watched this for the first time two years ago. Vulnerability felt like a very important topic but I couldn’t quite get a good understanding of how to achieve it. I’ve been going to therapy ever since, and today I decided to rewatch this. I am honestly surprised at how much my understanding developed, I can now recognize the complexity of the concepts attached to it which I am now more aware of. I can’t say I’ve reached a good point of balance within myself yet, but I feel closer than ever before. My life experiences, fueled by greater awareness brought by therapy, have truly changed the way I perceive myself and the world - the “perceptual expansion” she mentions early on in the video.
"A vulnerabilidade é um sinal que você está vivo... " sinta-se suficiente ❤
Brilliant. I look for practical outcomes in most videos and podcasts these days, and this video is about being as practical for achieving long-term happiness, fulfillment and joy as it can be. The speaker is a motivational giant and hopefully the opportunity to start being vulnerable and open to other people sticks to me.
True vulnerability is courage to say "I love you" first. To open your heart, there is no guarantee that you will be accepted or loved.
Deividas Koncius I get hurt over and over for being myself for saying what I am feeling but I can’t be different this is who I am