10 Signs of a Shame Attack
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- When you experience a shame attack, you hit a intense moment of feeling like you are not good enough or that you are unworthy of being loved. You feel exposed. A tremendous weight of embarrassment can fall on your emotional state. These feelings can be overwhelming and can cause you to feel like you are not worthy of love or respect. Today I want to talk about what a shame attack is, signs you are experiencing it and steps we can take to move into a new direction.
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Disclaimer: The content published is for informational purposes. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our material.
The resources given are not designed to practice medicine or give professional medical advice, including, without limitation, medical direction concerning someone's medical and mental health. Any resources given are not to be considered complete and does not cover all issues related to mental and physical health. In addition, any information given should not replace consultation with your doctor or any other mental health providers and/or specialists.
This is always such a blessing! you are one of the only encouraging Christians on UA-cam who actually understands my mental health struggles. I mostly encounter Lordship salvation guys who perceive my struggle as me not being saved or not having Jesus as the lord of my life. and if I just put Jesus first my problems would be solved. thank you so much!!!!!
@@RevTimes Same here! I listen exclusively to Mark. Other preachers only make it worse. I’m so sorry you’re struggling to want to live. 💔 In the last q&a Mark did, he answers a question about suicidal thoughts. It might be a blessing to you. He spoke with even greater compassion in his response to that one. Here’s the link: ua-cam.com/video/Ni-WZe2XgAM/v-deo.html. Just look in the video description and click on the appropriate time stamp. 😊
Thank you Mark !! I can see and feel the love and compassion you have for us . God Bless you in all you do !
@@RevTimes YES!! 💞 Hugs!!! 🤗
@@JedStevens1234 Amen 1,000%! 🙌
Everytime i have a panic attack it turns into a shame attack. Im actually going thru it right now😪😭🙏 God help me.
Been dealing with this as well since a child. Abuse neglect shame apathy
My Lord save my child and give her YOUR abundance of love and healing
This is my everyday life! The Lord has been telling me to be sober minded, the shame makes me sooooo necessary to just avoid and hide and talk to myself or condemn myself. Actually abandoning myself.... How crazy is that!!!
I can relate to that! The rejection mindset is bad and it can hinder you. It’s about rejecting the lies and know that God is there, good and bad!
God u r with us ! Thank you !
i feel so beat up about my struggles and i just don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m losing my faith.
Pretty much the same with me. 😢
Monica, never give up! God wants you free!
100% relate to this. 🎯 I came here because I realized I was having a shame attack and I wanted to learn how to not drown in it.
I’m working on learning to be my own friend
What helps me in a shame attack, is reminding myself to trust Jesus. “Lord, my thoughts and emotions are under your authority” Because He loves us. And the attack begins to ease. Shame is like that leftover residue that wants to stick to you when you’ve moved more forward in the Healing Journey. Or in moments of peace.
Yep I've lived with this most of my life...number 1- drowning...not usually #2...much at all...
Worst time in my life. Thank you Mark.
Thank you for this! I have dealt with shame for encountering chronic physical illness and receiving disability benefits. People are cruel when they find out you don't work. They either go into silence, they give unwanted advice or they completely abandon because they don't understand why. Why God is not healing you, Why you don't "look" disabled (I have hidden disabilities), and worst of all is the disability your claiming is true. Then they go into the I'm sorry, feel bad for you that your life has to be so miserable because you have no employment or income.
I understand the defending...
I have felt I needed to explain my illness, explain I worked for 25 plus years through tremendous struggles before receiving disability. Recently, was the first time, when someone inquired about what I do, I proudly said "God bless me to medically retire", nd and the silence, weirdness didn't bother me. I am proud of my testimony and I'm blessed to have financial stability even when it's not a job.
Aww, Cindy, I relate to your feelings and experiences here so much!!! I too have an “invisible” disease, and I’ve never had a job in my 26 years. Triggers deep insecurities for me. In my case, I’m working towards healing. My doc fully believes I’ll get my life back; it’s just a slow process that’s been constantly obstructed by things out of my control. A journey, you might say. 😉
@@katiesanders96 Thank you the reply. Yes it's journey, I'm in my 40's so the insecurities hit harder, because your supposed to be in your "prime". I haven't given up on the possibilities of working again. It'll just have to be a very unique position or God will have to open an opportunity for entrepreneurship. But after years of working, even most recently as last year and having another job loss due to illness I surrendered. I said God I've done my best, and I will follow your will for my life even if that means a season or seasons of not working. I'm content....I'm content with his timeline of my healing, possibly returning to work in the future or not, and timeline he has for my life. I know that's not a popular stance with everyone and I'm okay with that.
@@cindyc12 Thank you so much for your reply. 😊 I’d like to share a resource that’s been life-changing for me: A Book of Comfort for Those in Sickness by Philip Bennett Power. It’s tailored to those who have chronic illness or conditions. I think it could also be fitting for us perfectionists and OCDers because he sets up the foundation of the book with repeated proofs that God TRULY wants to comfort us! He writes in a very soothing tone. Plus, there are also chapters about unworthiness, feeling useless, envying the healthy, dealing with the length of the affliction, and more. I’ve never read a book like it!! ❤️
@@katiesanders96 Thank you for this, I love to read so I will definitely check it out.
@@cindyc12 🙌💞😊
I've felt so lost with what has been going on with myself the past 2 to 3 years. This Shame Attack is video is what I've been playing practically word for word. I finally has someone who understands. I've felt so crazy.. No words will ever explain how I appreciate these video you put out. I'm not alone.. thank you.🙂
I keep telling myself i need to watch Mark Dejesus's videos on Grace and i forget and feel shame or guilt.
Hi, mark. I’ve been struggling with worrying if I have addictions. Every day I worry about, “Am I addicted to food?”, “Am I addicted to video games?”, “Am I addicted to this book?”, etc. Any advice?
I really relate to this always feeling like I had to deny myself but God has really been helping me with it... Someone showed me it's not about trying really hard to modify behaviours, the Holy Spirit will change you from the inside. I think if you are addicted He will show you and give you the strength to overcome it, it's not something you can do in your own strength. I read somewhere something like dying to self means dying to self-effort.
I don't know if that is relevant but if your problem is similar to mine it might help :)
Panic> anxiety> can’t breathe > awfuL!!!
❤🙏
ABSOLUTELY!!! I’ve been riding this rollercoaster for a couple days. One thing that Mark did in these kinds of intense moments was to cry and sing hymns and worship songs. It’s now my new tactic as well, and can bring me back to the present by focusing on God (not myself) and remembering the comforting truths I need that get lost in the OCD spirals. Hugs!!!
WHY DID THIS LITERALLY HAPPEN TO ME LAST NIGHT!! Ahahha!!! I felt sooo vulnerable… like I’ve been dissociating… but I feel like I need to stay in this weird feeling/space to heal maybe? I’m not sure…
It almost felt like I realized how afraid I am of being myself and not living in the future/past… and I just could feel like everyone could see into my soul, I felt insanely shamed and embarrassed… socially awkward… like I’m an alien… and I just tried to stay in that state of being present and it was so scary and it almost felt selfish to just BE… and not try and anticipate everything everyone else “needs” from me… idk if that does my experience justice but I feel WEIRD still today! Ahhh
Hugs. I hear ya.
Mood! 🫂
Wow, thank you so much for uploading the audio already to podcasts! I really needed this message today, as I think I’ve been spinning in a shame attack.
You might have done mistakes but you are no mistake! You are not alone in that :)
@@lukastheprussian Awww!!! So kind of you! I’m still struggling to get out of the spinning and the spinning about spinning. 😂🤦🏻♀️ Thank you SO much for saying I’m not a mistake.
@@katiesanders96 You're very welcome, dear Katie 😊
Hope you will get better soon!
Katie! Last week, I suffered from a relapse possibly a shame attack of my broken past. I ended up spinning and wanting to isolate from everyone. So you’re not alone!
The rejection mindset is very demonic, and it causes all kinds of problems. Anxiety, fear, insecurities, doubts, etc etc. It really hinders you from interacting overall, being gentle with yourself and think that God seems far when you’re going thru stuff. The reality is that God is there, good and bad!
Time to dump the rejection mindset in the trash! I hope you feel better soon Katie 🤍
Thank you Mark. Could you also make a video about the way thoughts have effects on the body? Like physical? I haven't found a video on that in your channel and would love to see you address that 🙏🏻 May God continue to bless you and your ministry, in Jesus Name.
@@dyanitsuyo9609 Dr. Caroline Leaf is a Christian neuroscientist who goes into a lot of that. I found it very interesting!
I have suffered with these attacks my entire life, but never realized what caused them until I saw this! I will be following these videos and seeking the help and healing of Holy Spirit. Thank you so much Mark for posting this.
I have a history of massive sexual guilt on me, pornography is just one of the things. Even though I was neglected as a child and slided into that without knowing what I started to do or having someone to stop me, I feel deeply defiled and have that horrible fear that I became unlovable for god. I really hope there is a way out there
God loves you, you’re not too far gone.
This very timely . Lots of shame and needing of unconditional love
Hi Mark! I've just recently found your videos and I am so glad! I've hurt and lost the girl I love, because I got totally lost in my OCD thoughts (did not know they were OCD although everyone said it is irrational). She moves on, and I can understand. I was too afraid to tell her I still love her, because I dont want to hurt her again, because I dont know if my mental health will get better. I need to do a lot of work on my mental health, and get to know how God really is. But I just cant deal with the regret, shame, and hurt. It hurts so much that we are now strangers, and I am the man who hurt her. I am even afraid to tell her that its my OCD that causes me to think things such as "You need to choose between God and her" or "If you really love God you stay single" or "You are so self-centered, you will never be good enough, or "You are not saved",...Because what if its not my OCD but I really made an idol of her? If I really am not good enough? Any advice? Thanks!
Oh, Elias, you are so unconditionally loved right now!!! Mark can relate EXACTLY to what you’re talking about, as he struggled a lot with relationship OCD. I know he has a whole video on that specific type of OCD. He also has a testimony called “My Healing and Freedom Journey from OCD,” and I’m pretty sure he talks in it about his experiences with relationship OCD.
I can imagine in what situation you are right now. Also lost my girlfriend because of my Ocd. I can promise you, there is hope in healing from Ocd and from the shame and breakup pain. God is redemptive and will use what happened to send you on a way of healing and to prepare you to have a more healthy and intimate relationship one day. Don't give up, friend! 💪🏻
@Olia Krist AMEN!!!
You’re making things make sense! Thank you!
Your worlds came in the perfecting timing Mark. So crazy how God speaks to me. Thanks a lot for making that so clear and expecially for giving me inside, how I should See myself, while working trough my issues. You are such a blessing Mark.
Alexis I’m so very sorry you have dealt with this. I am here for you always!! Momma xx
I don’t know if it is your verbiage or what, but the way you described shame it made me understand it in a way that applies to how I react when I am hard on myself. It’s like I know Jesus loves me even in my shame, but I have not loved myself the same way… you have truly been a blessing for me!
THANK YOU!!!! ( hugs from brazil )
Just happened to watch this from my feed and realized this happened to me last night over not being enough. I wonder how often this happens unaware. Thank you for helping me see this! I know it was no accident I clicked. Thanking Him, too.
I just want to say thank you Mark. This is very helpful. I appreciate you and your ministry here on YT.
I wanted to be free from these attacks so desperately, I would go into rumination mode and my mind was like a freight train. I had to talk to someone so it would be my wife and I would always be so angry and frustrated when talking to her because I couldn't find freedom. Then she would tell me scripture and try to help me, then I would go into defensive mode and justify why I had a right to be like I was! I would argue and be extremely stubborn when it came to her trying to help me. I feel so bad for what I put her through but we are working it out. I still get emotions I can't explain while on my journey. I wish I felt safe on my journey, but I don't. I feel like if I don't overcome everything I will be judged by God and condemned. I feel like I can't be comfortable until I reach a certain height of overcoming. But that would just be working to better myself so God will accept me. I am so messed up! I feel like I will never find what I'm looking for. I just started my journey about a week ago so I am really green!
This video is so needed at the right time. Gives me language to this emotion and behaviors I’ve been experiencing. Thank youuuuuuu.
WOW was this helpful!!!!! I am so happy to know im not alone and this is a relatable thing!! First it goes to drowning then defensiveness then back to drowning
Thank you Mark! As you were talking about being sober in our thinking Romans 12:3 came to mind. You've helped me so much to become the man God wants me to be. Thanks again.
Yes. I agree with you on the stopping of health efforts because of shame preventing us from moving forward. Bradshaw use to call ifta "shame core". I call it a "shame shell" because it prevents other information from getting through. Thanks so much for this. I recently had a friend turn on me from a shame place in his psyche...
God Bless you Mark!!! Thank you for all you do and the courage it takes for you to share all this with us. A hurting world that needs these messages so much!!!
I am trying to be less stubborn less of making arguments and I full want to be less prideful and more humble.
Thanks to you and God!
Thank you!! This was fantastic and so helpful!
My goodness if this isn't me. I feel that if I don't do everything right all the time, then God will punish me for it.
This was helpful for me. I needed to hear thia
ThanksMark for this vid...very powerful and useful to my psyche
This is so great, Thankyou 🙏
Thank you so much!!❤
Thanks!
Thank you
I’m dealing with this now
Whaaaaaa???!!! This was s’thing never spoken as a child. I’m almost 54
And want my child to
Overcome
*avoid
Run and hide 🙈
Omw!!!!! 😢
Are none of these awful symptoms related to spiritual attacks or demonic oppression? 😖😖🤦🏼♂️ Feels terrible...
I feel number 3
Vulnerable
Good grief of Lutheran mother that changed to Catholic and takes all the worst of both on you
Escape. Drugs to change us):
😔🙈🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Yes, its escape. May lord deliver you in Jesus name
YeS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
✝️💟
I do see your effort but I see that the language used is itself kinda shame-ful, e.g. the behaviours listed under defensiveness. I feel we first need to understand that these seemingly knee jerk responses trace back to the event when we were shamed and the memory of that impact got stored in our bodies. The solution has to be somatic and not a cognitive one although yes there's a place for the latter too. I don't agree that it's the lack of humility that shows up as pride if one's being shamed (whether wrongly or not) in the present. And to sober up by sheer will.... I'm sorry, it sounds like another "just have more faith" way to THINK our way out....
But faith cling us closer to Lord, this will deliver us, can u belive this?